"The best drivers never pass first time anyway.
I kept telling myself when I failed."
Yeah, I'm a shit driver 
(OK, I didn't learn till I was 40, but had been riding motorbikes and rebuilding engines with my Dad since I was a kid, so didn't expect to fail) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t worry I failed twice and got banned from a test centre, because my driving instructor was being a cunt, so I told everybody out loud the stories he told me whilst on lessons about wanting to shag his female clientele 80% were under 18 at the time. |
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You’ll get there - I passed on my fourth, and then began the real job of learning how to drive over thousands and thousands of miles.
One thing - if you’re doing manual, ask yourself if you really need it. I changed to automatic only when I remembered thatI never wanted to drive a HGV. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Top tip, if your driving instructor/assessor is hot, touch their leg when you go for the gear stick to make them lose concentration and miss your minor driving infringements |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Top tip, if your driving instructor/assessor is hot, touch their leg when you go for the gear stick to make them lose concentration and miss your minor driving infringements "
Still do it if they're not hot too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Top tip, if your driving instructor/assessor is hot, touch their leg when you go for the gear stick to make them lose concentration and miss your minor driving infringements
Still do it if they're not hot too! "
I don’t know why I didn’t think of this |
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I only recently passed last year, so owning a car and having access to it has been a revelation. Always thought that having a full motorcycle licence would do.
My only advice is look at what you failed on and concentrate on that for your next lesson. Admittedly your instructor should do that anyway.
Just don’t lose hope I still can’t believe it when I was told I passed. It was a shock as I was convinced I’d failed.
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So got to the test centre, I wear glasses the examiner asks me to read number plate from about 40 yards I can't as my glasses are steaming up from the mask. He then walks me in the test centre worse fir my glasses misting try again from 35 and then 30 I'm stressed now as I think I'm blind and not even going to drive I read it from 25 ok but the law is actually 20 ffs I'm stressed getin drive ok then I get to a roundabout felt I needed to correct myself as drifted lanes slightly and he says ignore sat nav turnaround and go back to test centre. |
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"So got to the test centre, I wear glasses the examiner asks me to read number plate from about 40 yards I can't as my glasses are steaming up from the mask. He then walks me in the test centre worse fir my glasses misting try again from 35 and then 30 I'm stressed now as I think I'm blind and not even going to drive I read it from 25 ok but the law is actually 20 ffs I'm stressed getin drive ok then I get to a roundabout felt I needed to correct myself as drifted lanes slightly and he says ignore sat nav turnaround and go back to test centre."
Sounds like a crappy test instructor to me tbh. |
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This is what I was told, many years ago by my instructor:
“The test is intentionally designed to put you under stress, and take you outside your comfort zone. It’s as much to see how you react to that pressure as it is to see how well you can control a car. If you go to pieces because some miserable old bastard with a clipboard, how are you going to cope when things, inevitably, go wrong on the road? Puncture at midnight in the pissing rain? Near miss on an icy road? The examiner has about an hour to decide whether you’re fit to be let loose on your own in a car; you just have to show you can hold it together”
All I can suggest is that you work on your nerves, because that’s what’s scuppered you.
You can buy anti-fog treatment for glasses. Motorcycle shops sell it in small spray cans for crash helmet visors. That will eliminate one problem and allow you to focus on keeping your cool.
Best of luck with your retest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is what I was told, many years ago by my instructor:
“The test is intentionally designed to put you under stress, and take you outside your comfort zone. It’s as much to see how you react to that pressure as it is to see how well you can control a car. If you go to pieces because some miserable old bastard with a clipboard, how are you going to cope when things, inevitably, go wrong on the road? Puncture at midnight in the pissing rain? Near miss on an icy road? The examiner has about an hour to decide whether you’re fit to be let loose on your own in a car; you just have to show you can hold it together”
All I can suggest is that you work on your nerves, because that’s what’s scuppered you.
You can buy anti-fog treatment for glasses. Motorcycle shops sell it in small spray cans for crash helmet visors. That will eliminate one problem and allow you to focus on keeping your cool.
Best of luck with your retest. "
Ahh that's clever! Good point. Driving in stressful conditions is a nightmare. |
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"This is what I was told, many years ago by my instructor:
“The test is intentionally designed to put you under stress, and take you outside your comfort zone. It’s as much to see how you react to that pressure as it is to see how well you can control a car. If you go to pieces because some miserable old bastard with a clipboard, how are you going to cope when things, inevitably, go wrong on the road? Puncture at midnight in the pissing rain? Near miss on an icy road? The examiner has about an hour to decide whether you’re fit to be let loose on your own in a car; you just have to show you can hold it together”
All I can suggest is that you work on your nerves, because that’s what’s scuppered you.
You can buy anti-fog treatment for glasses. Motorcycle shops sell it in small spray cans for crash helmet visors. That will eliminate one problem and allow you to focus on keeping your cool.
Best of luck with your retest.
Ahh that's clever! Good point. Driving in stressful conditions is a nightmare. "
A very tiny amount of washing up liquid does the same. |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
I took my Hgv test only a couple of years ago. Hadn't taken any driving test since 1987.
Less than a mile after starting of I was told to pull over and stop to the left, then pull away again. I put the vehicle in first gear went to look behind out the window and banged my head on the window as I hadn't wound it down!
The examiner laughed. So tried again, wound the window down looked behind and went to pull away. I was still in neutral!!
Anyway I took a couple of breathes, turned off the engine and started again thinking, it can't get any worse as I've failed. So I just relaxed and drove.
I bloody passed. If I and a million others can, you will be able to, try and relax. Easier said than done but the very best of luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I failed this morning, feeling sorry for myself please cheer me up."
I failed mine 3 times before I passed, but it was lack of confidence that made me fail. I eventually passed some 20 years later in an automatic and 12 years later in a manual. My sister (one of them) failed 7 times before she passed. Sometimes it’s lack of confidence or the instructor took it too fast with you. Keep practicing and try again when you’re ready |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I took my Hgv test only a couple of years ago. Hadn't taken any driving test since 1987.
Less than a mile after starting of I was told to pull over and stop to the left, then pull away again. I put the vehicle in first gear went to look behind out the window and banged my head on the window as I hadn't wound it down!
The examiner laughed. So tried again, wound the window down looked behind and went to pull away. I was still in neutral!!
Anyway I took a couple of breathes, turned off the engine and started again thinking, it can't get any worse as I've failed. So I just relaxed and drove.
I bloody passed. If I and a million others can, you will be able to, try and relax. Easier said than done but the very best of luck. "
That’s what happened to me when I eventually passed. I was driving an adapted car, but I didn’t need the adaptions, somehow l managed to flick the indicator and for the love of god couldn’t get it off again. The examiner told me to pull over, as I checked my rear view I saw my instructor legging it behind me  got it turned off…. And drove perfectly after and passed! |
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The guy who passed me, after I messed up a bit with my parallel parking and was a bit flustered, started chatting to me a bit. I think he knew I could pass but didn’t want me to do something stupid as he obviously passed me for that manoeuvre.
Afterwards as he was doing the paperwork he said so as much. Knew I was fine up to that point and wanted me to carry on driving well, so he could pass me.
So don’t think they’re not on your side Op, I’m sure they prefer to pass you than issue a fail, |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
I was driving down a country road when I saw a sign: "Talking Dog For Sale."
I drove another mile before I turned around. A talking dog? Really?
I pulled up a gravel laneway and parked next to the barn. An old farmer was working on his tractor.
"Excuse me," I said, "but I couldn't help but notice your sign. Is it true you have a talking dog for sale?"
"Yeah," grumbled the old farmer. "He's out back. Go have a look and tell me what you think."
I walked out back behind the farmhouse and spotted a fenced-in yard. Behind the fence, sitting peacefully, was a mid-sized dog.
"Hello!" said the dog.
"Holy shit!" I said. "You really are a talking dog!"
"Yes," the dog said. "It's one of my many talents and accomplishments."
"Amazing! What else have you done?" I said.
"Well I was first employed during the war in Afghanistan, and the army used my talents to sniff out land mines. I would go into the desert and sniff them out so our soldiers could safely cross and keep the peace in the area."
"Really?"
"Yes. And after a few years of that I was employed as an overseas diplomat of sorts, doing goodwill missions to many countries, lecturing for children in schools, and raising money for victims of malaria."
"That's incredible."
"And then I realized it was time for me to return to my homeland, so I came back, earned a PhD from Oxford, and now I like to relax in the countryside here on this beautiful farm!"
"That's amazing. Well, nice to meet you dog! I'll be seeing you soon!"
"Thanks!" said the dog. "It was nice meeting you as well!"
I returned to the farmer, still working on his tractor.
"That really is an incredible dog. How much do you want for him?"
"I don't know," grumbled the farmer. "How does £10 sound?"
"£10?" I said. "How 'come so cheap?"
"Cuz he's a fucking liar!" said the farmer. "He's never even left the yard!"
Hope that cheers you up!!???
You'll get it next time. It took me a few goes before I got it. So, don't sweat the big stuff!!!!! |
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I drove for nine years without a licence, just lazyness. Only got one when they said they were coming out with the written test the next year.
I passed first time but I did have 9 years of practice beforehand. |
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"So got to the test centre, I wear glasses the examiner asks me to read number plate from about 40 yards I can't as my glasses are steaming up from the mask. He then walks me in the test centre worse fir my glasses misting try again from 35 and then 30 I'm stressed now as I think I'm blind and not even going to drive I read it from 25 ok but the law is actually 20 ffs I'm stressed getin drive ok then I get to a roundabout felt I needed to correct myself as drifted lanes slightly and he says ignore sat nav turnaround and go back to test centre."
Sorry to hear that you failed, just keep at it as driving will change your life in so many ways and gain you so many job opportunities, I know its disheartening at the moment but when you pass the feeling is amazing.
Can't understand why the examiner didn't carry on through the whole test though they can't make the decision to head back to the test centre early only you can do that, the only way they can end the test is you are driving in such a way that's it's just too dangerous for you both to carry on, he will then tell you to pull over and neither of you could drive that vehicle back, the vehicle would be left in a safe place and your instructor would have to retrieve it themselves, the same outcome if an accident occurred on test the examiner wouldn't even be able to give a statement. So if the case is that they have ended your test early you have rights to appeal, not the result of the test but the conditions in which it was held. Have a word with your instructor he will tell you the same. You may be able to claim your fees back and get a earlier test as I know the waiting time's are ridiculous at the moment. Don't know with COVID rules now but your instructor was allowed to go along as a passenger, always handy I thought as a second pair of eyes and Incase of any mishaps.
Good luck with your next test. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aww bugger, sorry to hear that. The first fail is soul destroying I know but use it to motivate you. Maybe treat it as an assessment of your driving as long as lessons are learnt then the experience is not wasted.
I failed first time, was a beautiful day, the examiner was lovely, chatty and made me feel comfortable. Drove about for 30 minutes then he directed me down this narrow lane....I drove over a stone and the tyre blew out 
Mortified we got back to the test centre and the test was marked as a no result, mechanical fault was recorded and he wouldn't tell me my mark up until that point as he said it wouldn't be fair. But my instructor asked him and he said 'all she had to do was get back without killing anyone' no minor faults or any major ones recorded.
And on that basis I got offered a free retest because of the mechanical fault.
Smashed that test with 3 minor faults.
So sit back, breathe and take stock. Just don't pressure yourself. |
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As mentioned there are numerious treatments you can get for your glasses to help stop them fogging. I've heard of people using shaving foam even. The issue though is the vapor in your warm breath condensing on the cold lenses. As a glasses wearer the thing that works best for me is not treating the lens (although in your situation do everything you can to give yourself the best chance and most confidence) but I get wide surgical tape and seal over the top of the mask. If your breath can't pass over your cheek bones to get to the lens and has to vent out the sides of the mask instead then you stop the cause of vapour forming on the lens to fog your vision. When you come to take the mask off though expect the tape to sting a little as you pull it off.
What ever method you think you will go with test it out throughly before hand don't get to test day and decide that's the day you will try prewarming the lens on the car heater to see if that helps as it may then dry out what ever you coated the lens with and stop it working. It's crapy cold out so find a method you want to test and go for a 20 min walk wearing a mask to see what happens. It will get your breath warm and really test what ever counter measure you're trying.
Good luck on the retest. |
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I failed my first test at 18, but as I didn't really need to drive back then, and couldn't have afforded to buy and run a car anyway, simply didn't bother for another 15 years...
....when I did finally get around to giving it a second go, I did a one-week intensive driving course with a test at the end, and sailed through - don't know if such courses are still around, but if they are, I can recommend them... |
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