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A thought...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just crossed my mind and something I have noticed.
Why do so many men/women knowingly or unknowingly meet married men/women alone?
When there are so many singles available  |
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For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested. |
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"How can they be blamed for doing it unknowingly? 
That implies, is there more of an attraction towards a married man/woman. "
No it doesn't because they don't know they are married  it's just a man/woman |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested. "
Not sure that makes sense because they are going back to their husband/wife so not really seeing one person are they.
And if they could do that to their wife/husband, what makes you think they are not doing the same to you ? |
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We don't knowingly meet attached people who are playing away without agreement. We prefer hassle-free without the restrictions.
Just because someone is single it doesn't mean there is attraction.
It can make us question ourselves at times, particularly with someone who is attractive, when you may end up playing in a club and ask no such questions.
We treat people how we like to be treated.
C |
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested.
Not sure that makes sense because they are going back to their husband/wife so not really seeing one person are they.
And if they could do that to their wife/husband, what makes you think they are not doing the same to you ? "
Makes sense to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested.
Not sure that makes sense because they are going back to their husband/wife so not really seeing one person are they.
And if they could do that to their wife/husband, what makes you think they are not doing the same to you ?
Makes sense to me. "
Ok  |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Just crossed my mind and something I have noticed.
Why do so many men/women knowingly or unknowingly meet married men/women alone?
When there are so many singles available "
Is your comment more about the morality of people cheating, or more about how you feel you are being over looked for married people? |
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"How can they be blamed for doing it unknowingly?
That implies, is there more of an attraction towards a married man/woman. "
Do married people behave differently?
I know some do, we had a coffee with a guy who said he was single but the way he jumped every time the door opened and kept nervously looking at his phone suggested otherwise. He could have been a secret agent I suppose  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they might not fancy the single/available ones near them?
Good point
Married people must be more attractive? "
Have you done a survey and it said that most people meet married not single? |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Because they might not fancy the single/available ones near them?
Good point
Married people must be more attractive? "
We used to get a lot of messages from married men until we put 'no married men' on our profile - the standard of attractiveness did seem to drop after that, so perhaps you're onto something  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are many factors, these are only thoughts
- People are nervous about those that have many partners rather than one.
- If they are attached less likely form other attachments
- Safety
- People always want what others have.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just crossed my mind and something I have noticed.
Why do so many men/women knowingly or unknowingly meet married men/women alone?
When there are so many singles available
Is your comment more about the morality of people cheating, or more about how you feel you are being over looked for married people?"
A bit of both.
Just wondering if the OP would have sounded different if I had put down single men/women? |
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"Just crossed my mind and something I have noticed.
Why do so many men/women knowingly or unknowingly meet married men/women alone?
When there are so many singles available
Is your comment more about the morality of people cheating, or more about how you feel you are being over looked for married people?
A bit of both.
Just wondering if the OP would have sounded different if I had put down single men/women? "
I'm not really understanding your point here. |
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested.
Not sure that makes sense because they are going back to their husband/wife so not really seeing one person are they.
And if they could do that to their wife/husband, what makes you think they are not doing the same to you ? "
From this you seem to be implying that the married person is cheating. This is a swinging site where people can be ethically non-monogamous. The married people are not cheating and are able to be respectful to all involved.
In fact, having a wedding ring on is just an open sign of being in a committed relationship. Unmarried people can still be cheating on long term partners for example.
What it boils down to is that people on here meet others they want to. It makes no difference if they are single or married provided they are open about any relationships they are in if it is relevant at the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because they might not fancy the single/available ones near them?
Good point
Married people must be more attractive?
Have you done a survey and it said that most people meet married not single? "
Many not most
A life survey
I have been unmarried for 15 years now and have seen how much better married people, some are friends seem to do meeting new people. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Just crossed my mind and something I have noticed.
Why do so many men/women knowingly or unknowingly meet married men/women alone?
When there are so many singles available "
Danger sex. It's a thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just crossed my mind and something I have noticed.
Why do so many men/women knowingly or unknowingly meet married men/women alone?
When there are so many singles available
Is your comment more about the morality of people cheating, or more about how you feel you are being over looked for married people?
A bit of both.
Just wondering if the OP would have sounded different if I had put down single men/women?
I'm not really understanding your point here. "
That answers the question,
I'm in a reflective mood this morning |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested.
Not sure that makes sense because they are going back to their husband/wife so not really seeing one person are they.
And if they could do that to their wife/husband, what makes you think they are not doing the same to you ?
From this you seem to be implying that the married person is cheating. This is a swinging site where people can be ethically non-monogamous. The married people are not cheating and are able to be respectful to all involved.
In fact, having a wedding ring on is just an open sign of being in a committed relationship. Unmarried people can still be cheating on long term partners for example.
What it boils down to is that people on here meet others they want to. It makes no difference if they are single or married provided they are open about any relationships they are in if it is relevant at the time."
It is cheating if the actual partner doesn't know.
Such a differing view to myself.
One which I respect as you say it is mainly a site for people meeting for sex. You explained it well |
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested.
Not sure that makes sense because they are going back to their husband/wife so not really seeing one person are they.
And if they could do that to their wife/husband, what makes you think they are not doing the same to you ?
From this you seem to be implying that the married person is cheating. This is a swinging site where people can be ethically non-monogamous. The married people are not cheating and are able to be respectful to all involved.
In fact, having a wedding ring on is just an open sign of being in a committed relationship. Unmarried people can still be cheating on long term partners for example.
What it boils down to is that people on here meet others they want to. It makes no difference if they are single or married provided they are open about any relationships they are in if it is relevant at the time.
It is cheating if the actual partner doesn't know.
Such a differing view to myself.
One which I respect as you say it is mainly a site for people meeting for sex. You explained it well "
I agree that it is cheating if a partner doesn't know but this is not an assumption on here. Many couples (married or not) play together and separately and are open about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my late teens/early 20s I always seemed to attract married women (lots of them). I didn't mind because I knew they were only after one thing and I was in the mindset that if it wasn't me they pulled they'd have found someone else so I didn't feel guilty. |
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested.
In fact, having a wedding ring on is just an open sign of being in a committed relationship.
What it boils down to is that people on here meet others they want to. It makes no difference if they are single or married provided they are open about any relationships they are in if it is relevant at the time."
Openly wearing a Wedding ring may be a sign of honesty for those they are meeting but I would say if they are meeting for sex outside of the marriage then they are probably not ‘committed’ at all. |
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested.
In fact, having a wedding ring on is just an open sign of being in a committed relationship.
What it boils down to is that people on here meet others they want to. It makes no difference if they are single or married provided they are open about any relationships they are in if it is relevant at the time.
Openly wearing a Wedding ring may be a sign of honesty for those they are meeting but I would say if they are meeting for sex outside of the marriage then they are probably not ‘committed’ at all. "
Some may not be but others can be. Many unmarried people are in long term relationships too. Provided everyone knows what is going on it is OK. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why it concerns you op?"
It's a situation I found myself in being the unknowing party. When I could have chosen any one of thousands of other genuinely single women.
Which is why I also posed the question are married people more attractive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a thrill. It’s absolutely hot as fuck knowing you’re fucking someone else’s wife because they aren’t up to the job. Always enjoy it so much more tbh maybe I’m a bad person |
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"Just wondering why it concerns you op?
It's a situation I found myself in being the unknowing party. When I could have chosen any one of thousands of other genuinely single women.
Which is why I also posed the question are married people more attractive? "
Ah I see. I wouldn’t entertain someone who lied about it. It’s one of the first things I ask but I also add it doesn’t bother me if you are so I tend to get the truth. |
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"Just wondering why it concerns you op?
It's a situation I found myself in being the unknowing party. When I could have chosen any one of thousands of other genuinely single women.
Which is why I also posed the question are married people more attractive? "
I don't think it's as straightforward as being more attractive. Possibly a married person who is determined to have sex outside of their relationship will be more direct about it because their options and opportunities are narrow and limited by circumstances. A single person might be quicker to move on or less direct as they have other options.
I don't know really but if a single person and a married person are seeing one another surely they're attracted to each other so the single must be as attractive as the married  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s a thrill. It’s absolutely hot as fuck knowing you’re fucking someone else’s wife because they aren’t up to the job. Always enjoy it so much more tbh maybe I’m a bad person "
Not a bad person.
Just a horny lunatic that thinks he is better than the husband  |
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"It’s a thrill. It’s absolutely hot as fuck knowing you’re fucking someone else’s wife because they aren’t up to the job. Always enjoy it so much more tbh maybe I’m a bad person "
Aren't up to the job  .
That always makes me laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just crossed my mind and something I have noticed.
Why do so many men/women knowingly or unknowingly meet married men/women alone?
When there are so many singles available "
Not read the whole thread so maybe already mentioned but I think they also assume married folk will be more open to NSA stuff. No chance of folk getting attached or needy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot like to meet Married people because we are less likely to want to keep them long term and have a proper relationship with them or get far too involved with them.
There words not mine before people lynch me ha ha ha |
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"Well if I wasn’t they wouldn’t be fucking me. With that comment I am talking about a cheating wife not a wife playing with her other half "
There can be way more to it than that. Your view comes across quite arrogant. You never know a person til you've walked a mile in their shoes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I wouldn't meet anyone who I knew were married and their spouse didn't know. "
On a moral level I would never do it. It happened, albeit unknowingly.
I started to hate myself for it when I eventually found out. Caused a lot of mental stress/trauma and I wasn't even the one that was being cheated on. The thought of being involved with someone like this makes me sick some days. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I never wanted this thread to be about me but I guess you have the reason why the thought crossed my mind.
Apologies in advance if my comments have offended anyone. Afterall I understand most people on here won't be of a monogamous and will share a different view to mine. |
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"Personally I wouldn't meet anyone who I knew were married and their spouse didn't know.
On a moral level I would never do it. It happened, albeit unknowingly.
I started to hate myself for it when I eventually found out. Caused a lot of mental stress/trauma and I wasn't even the one that was being cheated on. The thought of being involved with someone like this makes me sick some days. "
Did you think you were more attracted to them because they were married even though you didn't know it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they might not fancy the single/available ones near them?
Good point
Married people must be more attractive?
Have you done a survey and it said that most people meet married not single?
Many not most
A life survey
I have been unmarried for 15 years now and have seen how much better married people, some are friends seem to do meeting new people."
Apparently people in a relationship often find it easier to find a fuck because they don't smell of desperation like some single people do. As in they have that air of not being bothered so that makes some people want to chase them.
Maybe get a wedding ring to wear down the pub and see if you get hit on.  |
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"Just crossed my mind and something I have noticed.
Why do so many men/women knowingly or unknowingly meet married men/women alone?
When there are so many singles available
Is your comment more about the morality of people cheating, or more about how you feel you are being over looked for married people?"
Stop seeing through the s and getting to the real crux |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I wouldn't meet anyone who I knew were married and their spouse didn't know.
On a moral level I would never do it. It happened, albeit unknowingly.
I started to hate myself for it when I eventually found out. Caused a lot of mental stress/trauma and I wasn't even the one that was being cheated on. The thought of being involved with someone like this makes me sick some days.
Did you think you were more attracted to them because they were married even though you didn't know it? "
I must have because I could have met someone else but I chose to meet her and I loved it at the time.
How do you spot a liar when they live alone and are always available to meet. |
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"Personally I wouldn't meet anyone who I knew were married and their spouse didn't know.
On a moral level I would never do it. It happened, albeit unknowingly.
I started to hate myself for it when I eventually found out. Caused a lot of mental stress/trauma and I wasn't even the one that was being cheated on. The thought of being involved with someone like this makes me sick some days.
Did you think you were more attracted to them because they were married even though you didn't know it?
I must have because I could have met someone else but I chose to meet her and I loved it at the time.
How do you spot a liar when they live alone and are always available to meet. "
So you think subconsciously you chose her based on her natural status or you think she was only attractive to you because she was married.
I'm Reay struggling to understand this part of your question lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?"
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I wouldn't meet anyone who I knew were married and their spouse didn't know.
On a moral level I would never do it. It happened, albeit unknowingly.
I started to hate myself for it when I eventually found out. Caused a lot of mental stress/trauma and I wasn't even the one that was being cheated on. The thought of being involved with someone like this makes me sick some days.
Did you think you were more attracted to them because they were married even though you didn't know it?
I must have because I could have met someone else but I chose to meet her and I loved it at the time.
How do you spot a liar when they live alone and are always available to meet.
So you think subconsciously you chose her based on her natural status or you think she was only attractive to you because she was married.
I'm Reay struggling to understand this part of your question lol. "
In reflective mood today of an event that happened in the past.
It's hard to understand the if it was the reason or 'not' myself. |
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee "
You won't lol it literally makes no sense. Just because you find one person more attractive than another doesn't mean you find them more attractive because they are married.
Did they become instantly unattractive in terms of looks (not morally because they were married) when you discovered their marital status? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee
You won't lol it literally makes no sense. Just because you find one person more attractive than another doesn't mean you find them more attractive because they are married.
Did they become instantly unattractive in terms of looks (not morally because they were married) when you discovered their marital status? "
Let's put it this way. They were no longer the person I met and yes became instantly less attractive. |
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee "
Oh yes. Think I'll have another.
I'm going to read all the thread but it's on YOU if you haven't explained how someone knows if they doing something unknowingly
Coffeeeeeeee |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee
Oh yes. Think I'll have another.
I'm going to read all the thread but it's on YOU if you haven't explained how someone knows if they doing something unknowingly
Coffeeeeeeee "
Go for it, I got plenty of decaff |
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee
You won't lol it literally makes no sense. Just because you find one person more attractive than another doesn't mean you find them more attractive because they are married.
Did they become instantly unattractive in terms of looks (not morally because they were married) when you discovered their marital status?
Let's put it this way. They were no longer the person I met and yes became instantly less attractive."
Physically less attractive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some like the fact that it's NSA and might be in a similar situation themselves so a kindred spirit and less danger of one party wanting more?"
I think that you would be on the right lines there. Its not that it can't happen, its the fact that its less likely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee
You won't lol it literally makes no sense. Just because you find one person more attractive than another doesn't mean you find them more attractive because they are married.
Did they become instantly unattractive in terms of looks (not morally because they were married) when you discovered their marital status?
Let's put it this way. They were no longer the person I met and yes became instantly less attractive.
Physically less attractive? "
All of it. |
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee
You won't lol it literally makes no sense. Just because you find one person more attractive than another doesn't mean you find them more attractive because they are married.
Did they become instantly unattlractive in terms of looks (not morally because they were married) when you discovered their marital status?
Let's put it this way. They were no longer the person I met and yes became instantly less attractive."
That's because the eyes filter through the brain. She'd lied and that took the gloss off the gingerbread |
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee
You won't lol it literally makes no sense. Just because you find one person more attractive than another doesn't mean you find them more attractive because they are married.
Did they become instantly unattractive in terms of looks (not morally because they were married) when you discovered their marital status?
Let's put it this way. They were no longer the person I met and yes became instantly less attractive.
Physically less attractive?
All of it. "
Doubtful. You're just trying to make it fit your narrative. She hurt you do you made yourself think she was less attractive because of that. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"
Not read the whole thread so maybe already mentioned but I think they also assume married folk will be more open to NSA stuff. No chance of folk getting attached or needy."
They still do get attached. Believe me.
Even at the expense of their marriage do they get psychopathically attached.
C |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"
Doubtful. You're just trying to make it fit your narrative. She hurt you do you made yourself think she was less attractive because of that. "
Not necessarily, the mind is a powerful thing, if I know someone is in a circumstance whereby they are unable to play my attraction can and has switched off. I have lost all respect for someone I was intensely attracted to once and again it destroyed that attraction
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me they’re unlikely to want anything more than a FWB relationship. They are also more happy to meet just one person which I prefer.
Depends on their situation though, I dig very deep into reasons etc. If someone’s doing it just for the thrill I’m not interested. "
Quite simply this. However the secrecy side of it does add extra excitement  |
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"How can they be blamed for doing it unknowingly?
That implies, is there more of an attraction towards a married man/woman. "
I find a married lady a big turn on listening to her telling me she gets nothing at home hence ,,,, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There now follows a Granny Announcment.
It's HIM not me.
End of Announcment."
I first read the HIM as HM and started to wonder why you are blaming the Queen |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they are doing it UNKNOWINGLY O.P. ...... how do they know they doing it ?
If you stay with the thread you will understand the unknowingly part of the OP
Have you had coffee
You won't lol it literally makes no sense. Just because you find one person more attractive than another doesn't mean you find them more attractive because they are married.
Did they become instantly unattlractive in terms of looks (not morally because they were married) when you discovered their marital status?
Let's put it this way. They were no longer the person I met and yes became instantly less attractive.
That's because the eyes filter through the brain. She'd lied and that took the gloss off the gingerbread"
Yep something like that |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Some people prefer to meet attached people for NSA or even FB as there’s less risk they will get attached and be needy. I totally understand that, it doesn’t make it right but I can see why , I ve felt like it myself before |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I kinda guessed what the majority of the responses would be and I respect everyones view point.
To many it's just fun, only sex and thats why we are here. The term 'disposable society' comes to mind.
To me it's about honesty from the get go.
All is well |
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