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People with Penises......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies |
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"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies"
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Short
Narrow
Blue as it's cold.
It has a bad habit of hiding when others touch it.
Your cock not your tortoise wonko !"
How do you know that's what o called him?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot !"
It’s an old work related injury.
I used to spend a lot of time using oxy/acetylene cutting torches, and I got unlucky one day when a rouge droplet of molten metal burnt its way through my overalls, and underwear.
No bugger warned me about that shit on the risk assessments and method statements.
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Describe in detail
Length - pleasurable
Girth - pleasurable
Colouring - tanned
Distinctive Markings - me, attached to it
It's name - the dark destroyer
It's party trick - prolonged handstand
And what it likes most.... throwing up when it’s too excited
Thank you."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you."
6 inches
Thick
Light brown
Black spots
Banger
Spits when hot
And loves being between 2 slices of buttered bread with tomato sauce mmmmmm
|
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"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot !
It’s an old work related injury.
I used to spend a lot of time using oxy/acetylene cutting torches, and I got unlucky one day when a rouge droplet of molten metal burnt its way through my overalls, and underwear.
No bugger warned me about that shit on the risk assessments and method statements.
"
I can feel that in the cock I don't even have . ouch .....
I'll send a forum floozy to tend to it ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot !
It’s an old work related injury.
I used to spend a lot of time using oxy/acetylene cutting torches, and I got unlucky one day when a rouge droplet of molten metal burnt its way through my overalls, and underwear.
No bugger warned me about that shit on the risk assessments and method statements.
I can feel that in the cock I don't even have . ouch .....
I'll send a forum floozy to tend to it ..."
Thank you, I can still picture the mad crazed dance I was doing to try and get it out of ma pants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Describe in detail
Length: 0.0001025884 mile
Girth: 0.0000263047 league
Colouring: RGB E1B899
Distinctive Markings: No imperfections
It's name: Henry the 8
It's party trick: A passable impression of BOTH of the Two Ronnies (if I use glasses as a prop)
And what it likes most....Forum Ladies
Thank you: No, thank YOU |
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"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot !
It’s an old work related injury.
I used to spend a lot of time using oxy/acetylene cutting torches, and I got unlucky one day when a rouge droplet of molten metal burnt its way through my overalls, and underwear.
No bugger warned me about that shit on the risk assessments and method statements.
I can feel that in the cock I don't even have . ouch .....
I'll send a forum floozy to tend to it ..."
I'm on it, Granny  |
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"Describe in detail
Length - Erm 8 ish
Girth - erm 6 ish
Colouring - currently? Blue
Distinctive Markings - quite thick veins
It's name - Philip
It's party trick - it can move up and down with just a thought
And what it likes most.... being devoured by something hungry
Thank you."
|
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"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot !
It’s an old work related injury.
I used to spend a lot of time using oxy/acetylene cutting torches, and I got unlucky one day when a rouge droplet of molten metal burnt its way through my overalls, and underwear.
No bugger warned me about that shit on the risk assessments and method statements.
I can feel that in the cock I don't even have . ouch .....
I'll send a forum floozy to tend to it ...
I'm on it, Granny "
There you go hot cock! One forum floozy at the ready |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot !
It’s an old work related injury.
I used to spend a lot of time using oxy/acetylene cutting torches, and I got unlucky one day when a rouge droplet of molten metal burnt its way through my overalls, and underwear.
No bugger warned me about that shit on the risk assessments and method statements.
I can feel that in the cock I don't even have . ouch .....
I'll send a forum floozy to tend to it ...
I'm on it, Granny "
Please step into my office….  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot !
It’s an old work related injury.
I used to spend a lot of time using oxy/acetylene cutting torches, and I got unlucky one day when a rouge droplet of molten metal burnt its way through my overalls, and underwear.
No bugger warned me about that shit on the risk assessments and method statements.
I can feel that in the cock I don't even have . ouch .....
I'll send a forum floozy to tend to it ...
I'm on it, Granny
There you go hot cock! One forum floozy at the ready"
Hot cock
Could be a new username. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you."
Just under 8"
5.5"
Needs to get out in the sun more
Kenneth
Can recite Pi to 12 decimal places
Somewhere warm and wet, especially this time of year! |
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"
Length - that big
Girth - will fill your hands
Colouring - a pleasing shade of salmon pink
Distinctive Markings - A burn mark
It's name - The tape measure
It's party trick - a most excellent ‘boing’
And what it likes most....being inside ladies
Okay .....
We all want the burn on the cock story ....... shoot !
It’s an old work related injury.
I used to spend a lot of time using oxy/acetylene cutting torches, and I got unlucky one day when a rouge droplet of molten metal burnt its way through my overalls, and underwear.
No bugger warned me about that shit on the risk assessments and method statements.
I can feel that in the cock I don't even have . ouch .....
I'll send a forum floozy to tend to it ...
I'm on it, Granny
Please step into my office…. "
On my way with liniment and sympathy |
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|
By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you."
Length - about 7'
Girth - it fits my had perfectly
Markings - none I'm aware of
Name - still deciding
Party trick - wiggles when clenched
What it likes - gosh it has many favourite things but probably the prepuce being tickled with the tip of a tongue. |
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"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you.
Just under 8"
5.5"
Needs to get out in the sun more
Kenneth
Can recite Pi to 12 decimal places
Somewhere warm and wet, especially this time of year!"
Who couldn't love a cock called Kenneth
Cocky Kenneth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Describe in detail
Length - never measured it… have photos in friends part.. however i am part kenyan… so work it out
Girth… have photos in my fiends bit
Colouring… im part kenyan, so its a nice shade
Distinctive Markings.. zip
It's name… oh henry… wow
It's party trick.. popping up on command
And what it likes most....being inside a nice horny woman.. want to step forward?
Thank you."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you."
Short
Thin
Pinkish
None
Gigantor
Offering zero pleasure to any lady that uses it.
Staying attached |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Fills the cardboard thing from a loo roll, gets lost in the inside of a kitchen roll.
Can hold the weight of a full sized towel (handy if there are no wall hooks around but does raise eyebrows when shopping at Dunelm..).
Likes petite brunettes but transpires is not fussy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Describe in detail
Length: 0.0001025884 mile
Girth: 0.0000263047 league
Colouring: RGB E1B899
Distinctive Markings: No imperfections
It's name: Henry the 8
It's party trick: A passable impression of BOTH of the Two Ronnies (if I use glasses as a prop)
And what it likes most....Forum Ladies
Thank you: No, thank YOU"
This made me laugh  hats off to you sir |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fills the cardboard thing from a loo roll, gets lost in the inside of a kitchen roll.
Can hold the weight of a full sized towel (handy if there are no wall hooks around but does raise eyebrows when shopping at Dunelm..).
Likes petite brunettes but transpires is not fussy!"
Impressive! I think I need something like that for the back of my door. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I can do a pretty good impression of a baby elephant. 
It can suck up water?
Probably the only sucking it sees.
Everybody quick ......... Loads of Ahhhhhhhhhhhh and sympathy votes needed !"
More.....more....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Length fits 1 and a half of my palms.
Girth never had a condom fall off.
Colouring a very light pink hue.
Distinctive Markings a beauty spot half way down the shaft.
It's name Buddy.
It's party trick can pulse to expand and contract at will.
And what it likes most parting lips ( facial or pussy ) slowly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Describe in detail
Length - yes
Girth - yes
Colouring - yes but only with crayons
Distinctive Markings - no
It's name - no I’m not 5
It's party trick - sleeping
And what it likes most - peace and quiet
Thank you."
And thank you |
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LENGTH: It’s a grower but only to around 5 1/2” tip to base if measure on top. If you measure underneath then it’s about 4’8” from tip to the top of my head (I didn’t know where it ended so I just kept going)
GIRTH: It’s a fatty for sure and Mrs Sauceytwo, has a smile like she’s swallowing a coat hanger sideways to prove it.
COLOUR: It’s supposed to be white/caucasian but is actually more olive-tanned that the rest of me, like a revert a line  … I need a Google week the sun to even myself out
MARKINGS: none really, although I’d be great if it could bioluminess or animate like a squid
NAME: Wrodger ….”Wrelease Wrodger”
PARTY TRICK: it can hold it’s breath for a very long time in confined spaces whilst with its two lovely assistants clap rapturously.
LOVES: performing for a crowd |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Length - it’s big when I get aroused.
Girth - don’t like that word
Colouring - I prefer to build Lego
Distinctive Markings - none
It's name - don’t be silly
It's party trick - it doesn’t do trick, it’s not a dancing monkey.
And what it likes most.... attention |
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By *azza72Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Describe in detail
Length 200mm
Girth think decent cucumber
Colouring pink, not cucumber coloured
Distinctive Markings. Veiny
It's name. Arthur
It's party trick it does stand up
And what it likes most.... handshakes
Thank you."
|
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"LENGTH: It’s a grower but only to around 5 1/2” tip to base if measure on top. If you measure underneath then it’s about 4’8” from tip to the top of my head (I didn’t know where it ended so I just kept going)
GIRTH: It’s a fatty for sure and Mrs Sauceytwo, has a smile like she’s swallowing a coat hanger sideways to prove it.
COLOUR: It’s supposed to be white/caucasian but is actually more olive-tanned that the rest of me, like a revert a line … I need a Google week the sun to even myself out
MARKINGS: none really, although I’d be great if it could bioluminess or animate like a squid
NAME: Wrodger ….”Wrelease Wrodger”
PARTY TRICK: it can hold it’s breath for a very long time in confined spaces whilst with its two lovely assistants clap rapturously.
LOVES: performing for a crowd "
Ladies look no further !
We have the Cock of the Crop .... Winner Winner Cock for Dinner ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Describe in detail
Length 16
Girth causes 60 decibels of noise
Colouring..skin colour
Distinctive Markings ...is this for CID?
It's name ...Willy
It's party trick ...hiding from hockey players
And what it likes most....having a wee
Thank you."
|
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"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you."
7 inches
6 inches
Darker skin tone
A nice vein down the front
I can make it throb to music
Slowly sinking into a wet pussy...balls deep |
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"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you.
7 inches
6 inches
Darker skin tone
A nice vein down the front
I can make it throb to music
Slowly sinking into a wet pussy...balls deep "
Was known as little olov or Bill |
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"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you."
Length - it makes the ladies go “Ooooh”
Girth - makes the ladies go “aaahhhh”
Colouring - the bigger it gets the pinker it gets
Distinctive Markings - slight curve
It's name - wives call it “OMG - again please”. Hubbies call it “I might as well pack my bags”
It's party trick - it’s good at marathons
And what it likes most - wives and being watched by hubbies
|
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"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you.
Length - it makes the ladies go “Ooooh”
Girth - makes the ladies go “aaahhhh”
Colouring - the bigger it gets the pinker it gets
Distinctive Markings - slight curve
It's name - wives call it “OMG - again please”. Hubbies call it “I might as well pack my bags”
It's party trick - it’s good at marathons
And what it likes most - wives and being watched by hubbies
"
Ah well ....... this one takes the lead.... no contest. |
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"
Length - it makes the ladies go “Ooooh”
Girth - makes the ladies go “aaahhhh”
Colouring - the bigger it gets the pinker it gets
Distinctive Markings - slight curve
It's name - wives call it “OMG - again please”. Hubbies call it “I might as well pack my bags”
It's party trick - it’s good at marathons
And what it likes most - wives and being watched by hubbies
Ah well ....... this one takes the lead.... no contest."
Always glad to be of service  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Length - it makes the ladies go “Ooooh”
Girth - makes the ladies go “aaahhhh”
Colouring - the bigger it gets the pinker it gets
Distinctive Markings - slight curve
It's name - wives call it “OMG - again please”. Hubbies call it “I might as well pack my bags”
It's party trick - it’s good at marathons
And what it likes most - wives and being watched by hubbies
Ah well ....... this one takes the lead.... no contest.
Always glad to be of service "
Very impressive! |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Describe in detail
Length .. 3 x my thumb
Girth ... pd gives circumference basic maths granny
Colouring.. Flesh
Distinctive Markings ..N/A
It's name 2good
It's party trick it makes ladies disappear or block me
And what it likes most.... Ladies warm hands stroking it.
Thank you."
|
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"LENGTH: It’s a grower but only to around 5 1/2” tip to base if measure on top. If you measure underneath then it’s about 4’8” from tip to the top of my head (I didn’t know where it ended so I just kept going)
GIRTH: It’s a fatty for sure and Mrs Sauceytwo, has a smile like she’s swallowing a coat hanger sideways to prove it.
COLOUR: It’s supposed to be white/caucasian but is actually more olive-tanned that the rest of me, like a revert a line … I need a Google week the sun to even myself out
MARKINGS: none really, although I’d be great if it could bioluminess or animate like a squid
NAME: Wrodger ….”Wrelease Wrodger”
PARTY TRICK: it can hold it’s breath for a very long time in confined spaces whilst with its two lovely assistants clap rapturously.
LOVES: performing for a crowd
Ladies look no further !
We have the Cock of the Crop .... Winner Winner Cock for Dinner !"
|
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If this goes well, I might replace my profile text with the following:
Length - I've never needed more
Girth - See above
Colouring - A rich terracotta
Distinctive Markings - None. Completely nondescript in appearance
Its name - Darryl, Consoler of Vaginas
Its party trick - Has a range of up to 5 metres
And what it likes most.... responds well to regular treats and being taken out for exercise
Oh and helmet shape is tricky to describe but if you remember the Cylons from the original Battlestar Galactica you're on the right track. |
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Length - depends on how hard but maxes out at about 9.5 inches.
Girth - just under 7 inch around
Colouring - dark caramel earth tones. darker shaft and slightly lighter more pink toned head.
Distinctive Markings - none really but a bit veiny
It's name - I don't name it but partners have called it hammer and thumper ha
It's party trick - making people gasp
And what it likes most - being teased, either feeling someones breath on the head and light brushes of lips as it twitches and begs for more or being teased centimeters from entering a tight warm pussy while I'm on my back, feeling the pussy lips part slightly around it before she pulls back and giggles as it strains up towards her.
|
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Length - good
Girth - slim
Colouring - its Scottish, so milk bottle coloured!!
Distinctive Markings - ex piercing holes.
It's name - none
It's party trick - can fold completely in half even when fully erect.
And what it likes most - Latex covered bums... |
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"Describe in detail
Length
Girth
Colouring
Distinctive Markings
It's name
It's party trick
And what it likes most....
Thank you.
Length - it makes the ladies go “Ooooh”
Girth - makes the ladies go “aaahhhh”
Colouring - the bigger it gets the pinker it gets
Distinctive Markings - slight curve
It's name - wives call it “OMG - again please”. Hubbies call it “I might as well pack my bags”
It's party trick - it’s good at marathons
And what it likes most - wives and being watched by hubbies
Ah well ....... this one takes the lead.... no contest."
Does it not go to a vote? |
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