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The joys of being a woman...
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This is absolutely sooo bloody true!! Being a woman isn't always about make-up, nails, hair and sexy lingerie .....IT'S.....
Pulling long hairs out of your arse crack after a shower.
When you have a bath and your vagina swallows a gallon of water.... you’re walking around 20 mins after drying and dressing and feel like you've pissed your knickers.
Shaving your fanny as smooth as a babies bottom & it’s so prickly the next day.
Walking in front of your friend and saying “can you check me?” when you're not entirely sure if MotherNature has come to say hello again and she’s showing herself on your newly washed jeans.
Pulling a dry tampon out. That was the day Satan REALLY outdid himself.
Ripping out a pube on a sanitary towel.
Vaginal ingrown hairs.
The cum run.
Trial and error every new vibrator out there to stop you chasing toxic boys.
That little fart bubble that sometimes travels up your flaps and having to do that little wiggle to pop it.
When they’ve got you in that angle during doggy and the air builds up in your fanny and you let out a monster fanny fart!
Having to hold your titties when you run up the stairs without a bra on!
Having to “scoop” the boobs back into your bra when they’re uncomfy!
Having to have smears, although it doesn't hurt it’s just another worry for a women to have.
The pure headache from having your hair up in a ponytail all day and the relief of taking it out and giving yourself a head rub at the back where the bobble was.
Sneezing when on your period.........
Crying for absolutely no reason... and then feeling stupid about it.
Cupping shower water in between your boobies and then unleashing the tsunami that's gathered there!
Bunching up a load of toilet roll and stuffing it in your knickers when there are no sanitary products at hand.
Leaving your most creative hair paintings in the shower, as a priceless gift.
Licking melted chocolate off your boob...that you didn't realise you'd dropped half an hour ago.
Cupping your boobies... why? Because its comfortable!
The list goes on...what a species we are  |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South |
I’m forever finding crisps in my bra. Not packet of crisps, just solitary ones.
And don’t forget that rogue bra underwire that decides to slowly creep up and out of your top when you’re in work (it’s always when you’re in work).
Tights that are too small and slowly work their way down your legs through the day.
When your thing gives your fanny a wedgie, the pain! |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South |
"I’m forever finding crisps in my bra. Not packet of crisps, just solitary ones.
And don’t forget that rogue bra underwire that decides to slowly creep up and out of your top when you’re in work (it’s always when you’re in work).
Tights that are too small and slowly work their way down your legs through the day.
When your thing gives your fanny a wedgie, the pain!"
Thong not thing!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another woe is woman thread
I stubbed my toe last week...should I do a woe is my toe thread?
If noochie was here...he would x
 "
My post is not serious x |
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Had me chuckling.
I’ll add a couple of I may.
Saving money so try bikini waxing yourself and end up with blood blisters, thankful only put one strip on
Veet on legs fine, under the arm hell no, burn and red raw for a couple of days.
A fun one though soaking up your boobs and then using your arms pull away to see how big a bubble you can make |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"I’m forever finding crisps in my bra. Not packet of crisps, just solitary ones.
And don’t forget that rogue bra underwire that decides to slowly creep up and out of your top when you’re in work (it’s always when you’re in work).
Tights that are too small and slowly work their way down your legs through the day.
When your thing gives your fanny a wedgie, the pain!
Thong not thing! "
So you've never shouted "Fucking thing!"? |
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"Yeah but how great is it when you get back from the cinema and you have all that bonus popcorn in your bra! 
Not on a warm day 
Soggy popcorn marinated in boob sweat not your thing?!"
Only from others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ladies ladies yes you have a few good points but come on us men don't have a easy life fook sake you tried picking 6 winners in super 6 never mind correct scores im off for a lay down my head's hurting now just thinking about it |
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"
Who else remembers the good old danger days of shaving your legs with a brand new Bic orange razor and a bar of soap?!!"
Anyone remember little pads you’d slide your hand in and basically sandpaper the hair off your legs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Who else remembers the good old danger days of shaving your legs with a brand new Bic orange razor and a bar of soap?!!
Anyone remember little pads you’d slide your hand in and basically sandpaper the hair off your legs "
Haha yes and my eldest recently brought some after a TikTok review. Poor soul |
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"
Who else remembers the good old danger days of shaving your legs with a brand new Bic orange razor and a bar of soap?!!
Anyone remember little pads you’d slide your hand in and basically sandpaper the hair off your legs
Haha yes and my eldest recently brought some after a TikTok review. Poor soul "
Ah god the sting afterwards!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it "
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights "
A lighter? Impressive  |
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"
Who else remembers the good old danger days of shaving your legs with a brand new Bic orange razor and a bar of soap?!!
Anyone remember little pads you’d slide your hand in and basically sandpaper the hair off your legs "
I had those! Used them only once |
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"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights "
Everything used to go in mine, keys, bank card, money, lighter, chewing gum to name a few. Sometimes you forget it’s there and had a few laughs with company and bra removal |
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"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights "
I should’ve done this on a hen do - lost my keys, money, make up, basically everything fell out of my bag. Also lost my glasses (took them off to sort out fake lash hanging off) oh and lost my jacket the same night too |
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"
Who else remembers the good old danger days of shaving your legs with a brand new Bic orange razor and a bar of soap?!!
Anyone remember little pads you’d slide your hand in and basically sandpaper the hair off your legs
I had those! Used them only once "
Same! |
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"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights
I should’ve done this on a hen do - lost my keys, money, make up, basically everything fell out of my bag. Also lost my glasses (took them off to sort out fake lash hanging off) oh and lost my jacket the same night too "
Oh crikey lady that’s a lot of losses in one night  |
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"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights
I should’ve done this on a hen do - lost my keys, money, make up, basically everything fell out of my bag. Also lost my glasses (took them off to sort out fake lash hanging off) oh and lost my jacket the same night too
Oh crikey lady that’s a lot of losses in one night "
12 hours out drinking - not my finest hour |
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I began to read and then stopped.
There is a romantic mystery to a woman. An enigmatic veil that we men don't quite understand and we ascribe mythical properties to you all as a result.
I have no idea why you would want to cast off the Emperesses New Clothes to reveal a Primark bra and knickers below.
Please leave us thinking you can feel a pea in the bed (not accidentally pee the bed). That you have intuition rather than indigestion. And that the poof we hear is talc from a fairy and not a fart from your Mary.
Thanks... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funny stuff (if you're not personally living it), but having lived with wife and daughter into adulthood I am no stranger to ladies tribulations. My daughter was frighteningly frank!
I realised I stand no hope though, I'll never fill a one gallon vagina... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights
Everything used to go in mine, keys, bank card, money, lighter, chewing gum to name a few. Sometimes you forget it’s there and had a few laughs with company and bra removal "
Hilarious to think of everything dropping out when the bra is unclasped |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I began to read and then stopped.
There is a romantic mystery to a woman. An enigmatic veil that we men don't quite understand and we ascribe mythical properties to you all as a result.
I have no idea why you would want to cast off the Emperesses New Clothes to reveal a Primark bra and knickers below.
Please leave us thinking you can feel a pea in the bed (not accidentally pee the bed). That you have intuition rather than indigestion. And that the poof we hear is talc from a fairy and not a fart from your Mary.
Thanks..."
No. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights
I should’ve done this on a hen do - lost my keys, money, make up, basically everything fell out of my bag. Also lost my glasses (took them off to sort out fake lash hanging off) oh and lost my jacket the same night too "
We've all been there! Lost some memories too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I began to read and then stopped.
There is a romantic mystery to a woman. An enigmatic veil that we men don't quite understand and we ascribe mythical properties to you all as a result.
I have no idea why you would want to cast off the Emperesses New Clothes to reveal a Primark bra and knickers below.
Please leave us thinking you can feel a pea in the bed (not accidentally pee the bed). That you have intuition rather than indigestion. And that the poof we hear is talc from a fairy and not a fart from your Mary.
Thanks...
No. "
 |
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"Brilliant but you forgot that moment you take off your bra after a long day and they just fall out and you can hear them sigh with relief  "
I always give mine a good old scratch, it’s a relief to get the bra off haha |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South |
When you’re slouched on the sofa and have big boobs. You try to sip some wine from a long stem wine glass but the boobs get in the way and then you lose control of the wine glass. You end up feeding your cheek two slurpfuls of wine and you worry if your blusher is now running down your cheek.
 |
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"When you’re slouched on the sofa and have big boobs. You try to sip some wine from a long stem wine glass but the boobs get in the way and then you lose control of the wine glass. You end up feeding your cheek two slurpfuls of wine and you worry if your blusher is now running down your cheek.
"
when the base gets caught on your boobs and you spill it down yourself! Yep! All the time! |
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That gushing feeling when you stand up and the "light" period of the morning-time has suddenly become Nigara Falls
Swimwear in bra sizing that only fits certain bits in, because my arse is not a 36G but my boobs are!
Button up shirts that gape, no matter what size you buy...
Thrush and needing to use a vaginal suppository 
The wet nappy feeling when you're in a work meeting, your pad needs changing but you can't get to the loo
And for some special women like me, fishing out your ring pessary. Mr KC is an expert in putting it back for me. He's better at it than the gynaecologist 
|
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"
Who else remembers the good old danger days of shaving your legs with a brand new Bic orange razor and a bar of soap?!!
Anyone remember little pads you’d slide your hand in and basically sandpaper the hair off your legs
Haha yes and my eldest recently brought some after a TikTok review. Poor soul "
Tik Tok? More like Tut Tut! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I began to read and then stopped.
There is a romantic mystery to a woman. An enigmatic veil that we men don't quite understand and we ascribe mythical properties to you all as a result.
I have no idea why you would want to cast off the Emperesses New Clothes to reveal a Primark bra and knickers below.
Please leave us thinking you can feel a pea in the bed (not accidentally pee the bed). That you have intuition rather than indigestion. And that the poof we hear is talc from a fairy and not a fart from your Mary.
Thanks..."
Then you get married and poof, it's gone.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wearing a non-padded bra and "accidentally" brushing against things all day.
Dripping dry when there's no one to pass you loo roll from the next stall.
Starfishing in front of a fan with your legs wide open on a hot summer night.
Burying your face into your own cleavage when you wear a push up bra because it feels all all soft and squishy and warm |
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"When you’re slouched on the sofa and have big boobs. You try to sip some wine from a long stem wine glass but the boobs get in the way and then you lose control of the wine glass. You end up feeding your cheek two slurpfuls of wine and you worry if your blusher is now running down your cheek.
"
I thought this only happened to me because I was clumsy. Thanks for the reassurance it's not just me. |
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"Good news! You can be made all better by taking these antibiotics.
Bad news, you’ll now get thrush
UTI or thrush? It's a real choice, eh?!?! "
and those lovely chalky pessaries they give you to treat it which look like your excreating plaster of Paris the next day |
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"Good news! You can be made all better by taking these antibiotics.
Bad news, you’ll now get thrush
UTI or thrush? It's a real choice, eh?!?! and those lovely chalky pessaries they give you to treat it which look like your excreating plaster of Paris the next day"
I hate them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m convinced that my hair grows back instantly when I sneeze. Literally as soon as I’ve shaved, moments later I can sneeze and boom! The little buggers are coming through already |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the stabbing you get when the wire pops out of place in your underwired bra. Ouch!"
When you suddenly realise there's six inches poking out your top! |
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"And the stabbing you get when the wire pops out of place in your underwired bra. Ouch!
When you suddenly realise there's six inches poking out your top!"
I was going to say, "isn't that a tit wank" but realised it couldn't if only 6"   |
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"Finding the loose change you put in your bra stuck to your boob resulting in a tiny, temporary stamp of the Queen's face on your boob
The perfect purse on a night out, never lost it
I've found all sorts in there when I've got home - house key, lighter, confetti. It's like Mary Poppins' bag some nights
Everything used to go in mine, keys, bank card, money, lighter, chewing gum to name a few. Sometimes you forget it’s there and had a few laughs with company and bra removal
Hilarious to think of everything dropping out when the bra is unclasped "
Except the things that stick one chap, bless him attentively inspected and picked off all the coins before saying ‘what is going to pop out the knickers’ he learnt what the pockets are for in underwear but we did have a good laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And the stabbing you get when the wire pops out of place in your underwired bra. Ouch!
When you suddenly realise there's six inches poking out your top!
I was going to say, "isn't that a tit wank" but realised it couldn't if only 6" "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I did have a meet recently where he took my bra off and my lipstick fell out, which confused him for a funny few moments.
I think all women just get to a point where popping things in your bra for "safekeeping" just becomes second nature.
Although I am known amongst my friends for once being able to sneak an entire bottle of wine into a bar between my boobs. I'd done it before with vodka but I officially reached legend status after that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Those sharp stabbing pains that can appear at random up your foof or your butt..so painful they make you shout out and do a little jump..feels like someone shoved a knife up there |
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"This is absolutely sooo bloody true!! Being a woman isn't always about make-up, nails, hair and sexy lingerie .....IT'S.....
Pulling long hairs out of your arse crack after a shower.
When you have a bath and your vagina swallows a gallon of water.... you’re walking around 20 mins after drying and dressing and feel like you've pissed your knickers.
Shaving your fanny as smooth as a babies bottom & it’s so prickly the next day.
Walking in front of your friend and saying “can you check me?” when you're not entirely sure if MotherNature has come to say hello again and she’s showing herself on your newly washed jeans.
Pulling a dry tampon out. That was the day Satan REALLY outdid himself.
Ripping out a pube on a sanitary towel.
Vaginal ingrown hairs.
The cum run.
Trial and error every new vibrator out there to stop you chasing toxic boys.
That little fart bubble that sometimes travels up your flaps and having to do that little wiggle to pop it.
When they’ve got you in that angle during doggy and the air builds up in your fanny and you let out a monster fanny fart!
Having to hold your titties when you run up the stairs without a bra on!
Having to “scoop” the boobs back into your bra when they’re uncomfy!
Having to have smears, although it doesn't hurt it’s just another worry for a women to have.
The pure headache from having your hair up in a ponytail all day and the relief of taking it out and giving yourself a head rub at the back where the bobble was.
Sneezing when on your period.........
Crying for absolutely no reason... and then feeling stupid about it.
Cupping shower water in between your boobies and then unleashing the tsunami that's gathered there!
Bunching up a load of toilet roll and stuffing it in your knickers when there are no sanitary products at hand.
Leaving your most creative hair paintings in the shower, as a priceless gift.
Licking melted chocolate off your boob...that you didn't realise you'd dropped half an hour ago.
Cupping your boobies... why? Because its comfortable!
The list goes on...what a species we are "
Loving this OP....all so true  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did have a meet recently where he took my bra off and my lipstick fell out, which confused him for a funny few moments.
I think all women just get to a point where popping things in your bra for "safekeeping" just becomes second nature.
Although I am known amongst my friends for once being able to sneak an entire bottle of wine into a bar between my boobs. I'd done it before with vodka but I officially reached legend status after that. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"90% of these I thought only I did good to know I'm not the only one!! "
Same
I didn’t dare ask about the fart that takes the path up between my vertical lips! So glad that’s not just me.
I can’t lick anything off my boobs though and haven’t tried the boob Sunami yet….. tomorrow! |
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"I did have a meet recently where he took my bra off and my lipstick fell out, which confused him for a funny few moments.
I think all women just get to a point where popping things in your bra for "safekeeping" just becomes second nature.
Although I am known amongst my friends for once being able to sneak an entire bottle of wine into a bar between my boobs. I'd done it before with vodka but I officially reached legend status after that. "
Am I not correct in saying bras were invented for the conveying of car keys?! Where the heck else am I meant to put them as I hop out to the car?! |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
"Good news! You can be made all better by taking these antibiotics.
Bad news, you’ll now get thrush
UTI or thrush? It's a real choice, eh?!?! and those lovely chalky pessaries they give you to treat it which look like your excreating plaster of Paris the next day"
These are a royal bastard! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did have a meet recently where he took my bra off and my lipstick fell out, which confused him for a funny few moments.
I think all women just get to a point where popping things in your bra for "safekeeping" just becomes second nature.
Although I am known amongst my friends for once being able to sneak an entire bottle of wine into a bar between my boobs. I'd done it before with vodka but I officially reached legend status after that.
Am I not correct in saying bras were invented for the conveying of car keys?! Where the heck else am I meant to put them as I hop out to the car?! "
Yep, why the hell would I go to the trouble of using a gym locker for my keys and phone when I have a perfectly good sports bra?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you’re slouched on the sofa and have big boobs. You try to sip some wine from a long stem wine glass but the boobs get in the way and then you lose control of the wine glass. You end up feeding your cheek two slurpfuls of wine and you worry if your blusher is now running down your cheek.
"
Ha ha, I have that problem a lot x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was with my gyne surgeon today. I’m sure he thinks I’m under anaesthetic when he inserts the speculum 
Mr KC is better at putting my ring pessary back in than the gynaecologist "
I’m hoping that was my last time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And yet there are so many people wanting to change their gender. I don't think a man will ever really know what it is to be a woman. "
It’s usually not like a choice, like I don’t know… changing colour of their hair…but more like a necessity, I’m just saying
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had me chuckling.
I’ll add a couple of I may.
Saving money so try bikini waxing yourself and end up with blood blisters, thankful only put one strip on
Veet on legs fine, under the arm hell no, burn and red raw for a couple of days.
A fun one though soaking up your boobs and then using your arms pull away to see how big a bubble you can make "
Honestly, I was DONE with the whole blisters or ingrown hair situ, I know it can be expensive but hair laser everywhere and it changed my life
Even better than the professional wax
The joys of taking literally 2 mins every few weeks (the odd hair can still grow but it’s so thin and weak) to just run the razor under the shower , is so worth it! X
I’m gonna mention taking a lifetime to get ready…especially if there’s doing hair etc involved… don’t trust us when we say “yes I’ll be ready in 15
mins”
NOT GONNA HAPPEN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
“That little fart bubble that sometimes travels up your flaps and having to do that little wiggle to pop it.
When they’ve got you in that angle during doggy and the air builds up in your fanny and you let out a monster fanny fart!”
soooo funny
didn’t even know that happened...!
Just goes to show that being a women isn’t as easy as “being a women”.
Think like a man, act like a lady, look like a young girl and work like a horse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I began to read and then stopped.
There is a romantic mystery to a woman. An enigmatic veil that we men don't quite understand and we ascribe mythical properties to you all as a result.
I have no idea why you would want to cast off the Emperesses New Clothes to reveal a Primark bra and knickers below.
Please leave us thinking you can feel a pea in the bed (not accidentally pee the bed). That you have intuition rather than indigestion. And that the poof we hear is talc from a fairy and not a fart from your Mary.
Thanks...
Then you get married and poof, it's gone.. "
Ah I got married and it wasn't gone ! |
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"This is absolutely sooo bloody true!! Being a woman isn't always about make-up, nails, hair and sexy lingerie .....IT'S.....
Pulling long hairs out of your arse crack after a shower.
When you have a bath and your vagina swallows a gallon of water.... you’re walking around 20 mins after drying and dressing and feel like you've pissed your knickers.
Shaving your fanny as smooth as a babies bottom & it’s so prickly the next day.
Walking in front of your friend and saying “can you check me?” when you're not entirely sure if MotherNature has come to say hello again and she’s showing herself on your newly washed jeans.
Pulling a dry tampon out. That was the day Satan REALLY outdid himself.
Ripping out a pube on a sanitary towel.
Vaginal ingrown hairs.
The cum run.
Trial and error every new vibrator out there to stop you chasing toxic boys.
That little fart bubble that sometimes travels up your flaps and having to do that little wiggle to pop it.
When they’ve got you in that angle during doggy and the air builds up in your fanny and you let out a monster fanny fart!
Having to hold your titties when you run up the stairs without a bra on!
Having to “scoop” the boobs back into your bra when they’re uncomfy!
Having to have smears, although it doesn't hurt it’s just another worry for a women to have.
The pure headache from having your hair up in a ponytail all day and the relief of taking it out and giving yourself a head rub at the back where the bobble was.
Sneezing when on your period.........
Crying for absolutely no reason... and then feeling stupid about it.
Cupping shower water in between your boobies and then unleashing the tsunami that's gathered there!
Bunching up a load of toilet roll and stuffing it in your knickers when there are no sanitary products at hand.
Leaving your most creative hair paintings in the shower, as a priceless gift.
Licking melted chocolate off your boob...that you didn't realise you'd dropped half an hour ago.
Cupping your boobies... why? Because its comfortable!
The list goes on...what a species we are "
So scarily accurate it's funny!
The period poop & period farts are horrendous - I was on nights last week and thank god I was in the resettlement unit with all prisoners locked away because my farts were toxic for a couple of nights. |
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I don't fart in front of my boyfriend as its a new relationship and I don't want to scare him but the other night he gave me a really intense orgasm and my arse thought it should join in and comment - it sounded like a zip
I'm just thankful it didn't smell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't fart in front of my boyfriend as its a new relationship and I don't want to scare him but the other night he gave me a really intense orgasm and my arse thought it should join in and comment - it sounded like a zip
I'm just thankful it didn't smell"
Hahaha same!! I’d rather die than have my man hear me fart… or see me go to the toilet…I’m extremely conscious…
In the meantime, on planet Mars… the amount of guys who’d let one go, and laugh about it or giggle to themselves and say “wasn’t me”
|
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So basically the gist I got from this is..
Boobs are like having a extra cupboard to store stuff.
Fannys are like a slightly dodgy plumbing system.. When it works it's fine but at other times makes funny noises and leaks!! |
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"I don't fart in front of my boyfriend as its a new relationship and I don't want to scare him but the other night he gave me a really intense orgasm and my arse thought it should join in and comment - it sounded like a zip
I'm just thankful it didn't smell
Hahaha same!! I’d rather die than have my man hear me fart… or see me go to the toilet…I’m extremely conscious…
In the meantime, on planet Mars… the amount of guys who’d let one go, and laugh about it or giggle to themselves and say “wasn’t me”
"
When you're married and/or have kids, going to the toilet in front of other people becomes the norm |
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Taking your bra off at the end of the day and finding snacks.
Looking at my children and grandchildren knowing they were grown on unique booby juice and the horrors of feeding a child with tongue tie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't fart in front of my boyfriend as its a new relationship and I don't want to scare him but the other night he gave me a really intense orgasm and my arse thought it should join in and comment - it sounded like a zip
I'm just thankful it didn't smell
Hahaha same!! I’d rather die than have my man hear me fart… or see me go to the toilet…I’m extremely conscious…
In the meantime, on planet Mars… the amount of guys who’d let one go, and laugh about it or giggle to themselves and say “wasn’t me”
When you're married and/or have kids, going to the toilet in front of other people becomes the norm "
Yep. A private jobbie counts as "Me Time". |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"This is absolutely sooo bloody true!! Being a woman isn't always about make-up, nails, hair and sexy lingerie .....IT'S.....
Pulling long hairs out of your arse crack after a shower.
When you have a bath and your vagina swallows a gallon of water.... you’re walking around 20 mins after drying and dressing and feel like you've pissed your knickers.
Shaving your fanny as smooth as a babies bottom & it’s so prickly the next day.
Walking in front of your friend and saying “can you check me?” when you're not entirely sure if MotherNature has come to say hello again and she’s showing herself on your newly washed jeans.
Pulling a dry tampon out. That was the day Satan REALLY outdid himself.
Ripping out a pube on a sanitary towel.
Vaginal ingrown hairs.
The cum run.
Trial and error every new vibrator out there to stop you chasing toxic boys.
That little fart bubble that sometimes travels up your flaps and having to do that little wiggle to pop it.
When they’ve got you in that angle during doggy and the air builds up in your fanny and you let out a monster fanny fart!
Having to hold your titties when you run up the stairs without a bra on!
Having to “scoop” the boobs back into your bra when they’re uncomfy!
Having to have smears, although it doesn't hurt it’s just another worry for a women to have.
The pure headache from having your hair up in a ponytail all day and the relief of taking it out and giving yourself a head rub at the back where the bobble was.
Sneezing when on your period.........
Crying for absolutely no reason... and then feeling stupid about it.
Cupping shower water in between your boobies and then unleashing the tsunami that's gathered there!
Bunching up a load of toilet roll and stuffing it in your knickers when there are no sanitary products at hand.
Leaving your most creative hair paintings in the shower, as a priceless gift.
Licking melted chocolate off your boob...that you didn't realise you'd dropped half an hour ago.
Cupping your boobies... why? Because its comfortable!
The list goes on...what a species we are
So scarily accurate it's funny!
The period poop & period farts are horrendous - I was on nights last week and thank god I was in the resettlement unit with all prisoners locked away because my farts were toxic for a couple of nights."
Won't that be used as crowd control? "Gas Masks on!"" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So basically the gist I got from this is..
Boobs are like having a extra cupboard to store stuff.
Fannys are like a slightly dodgy plumbing system.. When it works it's fine but at other times makes funny noises and leaks!! "
excellent
not to mention, can play havoc with the rest of bodily functions, blowing gaskets, etc.
oh the joys of being a woman 
and some Guys think they have it hard
...I guess they do, if having to contend with their better half that requires constant repairs to dodgy plumbing
complex to say the least...!
and yet, just as beautiful...! |
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"So basically the gist I got from this is..
Boobs are like having a extra cupboard to store stuff.
Fannys are like a slightly dodgy plumbing system.. When it works it's fine but at other times makes funny noises and leaks!! "
Yup pretty much! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And yet there are so many people wanting to change their gender. I don't think a man will ever really know what it is to be a woman. "
Indeed; a very funny thread but also a reminder that those of us who are enthusiastic imitations as well as admirers of real women don't really know half of it! |
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"FFS........ in all my years my vag has NEVER filled with water
Mine has
How many litres like? "
I didn't measure. Enough to make my knickers wet
My bladder can hold about 1.2L. That has been established through scientific principles. |
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"FFS........ in all my years my vag has NEVER filled with water
Mine has
How many litres like?
I didn't measure. Enough to make my knickers wet
My bladder can hold about 1.2L. That has been established through scientific principles. "
Can you not put a sponge up their when you’re having a bath? |
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"FFS........ in all my years my vag has NEVER filled with water
Mine has
How many litres like?
I didn't measure. Enough to make my knickers wet
My bladder can hold about 1.2L. That has been established through scientific principles.
Can you not put a sponge up their when you’re having a bath? "
We got rid of the bath. It happens when one goes swimming though |
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"FFS........ in all my years my vag has NEVER filled with water
Mine has
How many litres like?
I didn't measure. Enough to make my knickers wet
My bladder can hold about 1.2L. That has been established through scientific principles.
Can you not put a sponge up their when you’re having a bath?
We got rid of the bath. It happens when one goes swimming though "
Is it like when the tide goes out at sea? |
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"FFS........ in all my years my vag has NEVER filled with water
Mine has
How many litres like?
I didn't measure. Enough to make my knickers wet
My bladder can hold about 1.2L. That has been established through scientific principles.
Can you not put a sponge up their when you’re having a bath?
We got rid of the bath. It happens when one goes swimming though
Is it like when the tide goes out at sea? "
Yes.
Actually, no-one has mentioned that sand gets up your chuff when you go swimming in the sea or if you sit directly on the sand. Sand up the chuff chafes |
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