FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Has fab boosted your confidence?
Has fab boosted your confidence?
Jump to: Newest in thread
Were you a person lacking in confidence before you joined fab? Has fab helped you to gain this confidence?
OR
Was you a confident person before you joined fab and have lost confidence through not getting meets and getting let down etc?
Suppose it's a bit of both for ourselves and probably not so straight forward in a couple's relationship. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have a little more than before. I’m not overly confident or indeed lacking in it, pretty normal levels of adequacy in that department, but definitely feel more confident than say, this time last year. Of course, Fab is only part of that and only been here a few months (but similar places prior to that). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Yes and no.
It has boosted my confidence in some ways, mostly the more "superficial" ways.
But it did smash any confidence I had in my decision making and choices.
That's changing again now. My confidence is something that is changing all the time, and hopefully it will be more steps forward than back. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most definitely the latter.
I do pretty well in the real world or on tinder with women, but it's impossible to even get a reply on here. "
That’s really hard, but I get the impression it’s a numbers game rather than something to be taken personally. Easy for a woman to say, I know  x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hasn't increased my confidence, nor has it decreased. There's more women here that suit my preferences in a lover/partner/Feb then any other platform I've found,so I take advantage of that. If women didn't take to me, it's their preference which I respect, and I certainly wouldn't let it effect me or my confidence going forward. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.
Real world friends are golden. "
Don't care what you look like, woman! You're ace. Just read your profile again for a giggle.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.
Real world friends are golden. "
You're flipping awesome, woman.
Real world friends are golden. And they can come from here as well.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
That’s really hard, but I get the impression it’s a numbers game rather than something to be taken personally. Easy for a woman to say, I know x"
Yeah true,
I'm beginning to think it might be an area thing too. I seem to get much better success the further from central London I am. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *astpoetMan
over a year ago
where the world takes me |
It’s more nuanced than boosting or hurting your confidence for me. If I were to go by replies or messages I’d be a broken man.
Fab is unforgiving and my kinks are niche and my taste fussy, so my success rate is low. What I’ve learnt though is that that’s due to me not others and whilst it’s hard it’s not personal (I hope).
On the flip side my confidence in me, in knowing myself better and in not being scared to be who I am is at an all time high, and I think Fab is a big part of that. It taught me to try things I’d thought about and not be ashamed or worry what others thought.
So long story short, I now know more people don’t want to sleep with me than I ever thought but I’m happy in knowing that if I do find someone I can play in more honest and kinky ways than I ever expected.
Anyway back to the rejections |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women. "
This.
Shocked by How many men don't mind a few curves. But definitely boosted my confidence which in turn makes for much better sex all round |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.
Real world friends are golden. "
You are amazing, who cares what gets the most clicks you much more fun!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.
"
It's not a competition. No woman on here should be competing with another nor made to feel like they're somehow lesser. People like different things at the same time and our appearance can only carry us so far. This idea that women need to compete against each other is damaging, untrue and unkind.
Look at the women on this thread - we're all very different whether that's our age, skin colour, hair colour, body size, shape.... you get the idea. We're all in our lane, cruising along doing our own thing - it's not a race.
You are worthwhile Outsider.  x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.
It's not a competition. No woman on here should be competing with another nor made to feel like they're somehow lesser. People like different things at the same time and our appearance can only carry us so far. This idea that women need to compete against each other is damaging, untrue and unkind.
Look at the women on this thread - we're all very different whether that's our age, skin colour, hair colour, body size, shape.... you get the idea. We're all in our lane, cruising along doing our own thing - it's not a race.
You are worthwhile Outsider. x"
It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?"
No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.
I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It certainly reduced mine, the amount of profiles which are only looking for big cock, 9 inches plus, BBC, must have 6 pack, no bald heads, must be over 6ft etc is pretty hard for the average bloke.
I understand it though, there's about 25 men to every woman so why not be picky?
I've learned to not take fab so seriously and remember it's not the real world on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enm83Man
over a year ago
Stockport |
"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?
No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.
I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win"."
Well said Meli. My first visit to Cupids I was so apprehensive about dressing down amongst nicely sculptured men, but instead I found it to be a most diverse, happy bunch where any body shape, size and colour was welcomed. And you don't get that on a dating site or generic nightclub. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It has been fantastic for me..especially seeing myself through the eyes of people I've met. It has really helped me to accept /embrace what I have and whilst there are parts of me that i will always be self conscious about, i am much easier in my own skin and able to observe with less harmful triggering thoughts
The other thing that has been amazing for me is seeing the breadth and shape and sheer variety of bodies and bits etc, female and male.. I've learnt there is no perfect, there is just ooooo, or ohhhh and mmmmm yes please I'd like some of that on me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?
No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.
I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win"."
I'm afraid our experiences vary here. What makes these men successful then? A winning personality? I've read enough veris and looked at enough male profiles to see who is getting it, and to debunk a common myth, it's not because of socials.
It's also not because they write better replies, because the mails I write are each unique and verbose. It's not looks because I'm actually quite decent looking. It's not great profiles because there are some one liners. I've cut mine down because there wasn't any point. It's not a shitty attitude because this is just how I see it. I can't do the social scene because I'm a single guy and about as welcome as a rabid badger (I did a swinger's party years ago and it was terrible, treated like a leper was an understatement, people visibly just turning their backs to me).
So you end up with a small group at the top with thirty odd veris, contacts, etc., and then the rest of us. It's unfortunate but that is the reality for the vast, vast, majority of men on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I still have a lot of self doubt but I have to say that I have felt more sexy and more desirable since joining fab and meeting with some amazing guys on here x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Its made me start to realise that some people might find me attractive/sexy, which is something I struggle to believe. I'm trying to accept that maybe what I see in the mirror and what others see (in relation to appearance) are not the same
MJ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.
It's not a competition. No woman on here should be competing with another nor made to feel like they're somehow lesser. People like different things at the same time and our appearance can only carry us so far. This idea that women need to compete against each other is damaging, untrue and unkind.
Look at the women on this thread - we're all very different whether that's our age, skin colour, hair colour, body size, shape.... you get the idea. We're all in our lane, cruising along doing our own thing - it's not a race.
You are worthwhile Outsider. x"
It is a difficult mindset to get out of, with prolific picture posting and FABing, attention, many other factors intentional or unintentional. Make you feel like you can't compete, and that what eats away at your confidence. It is a diminishing circle of confidence.
For me now I have managed to get out of that mindset with help, I know what it is like to be there. Im in a good place now but it was tough to get here.
The thing I learned was to change the perception I had of myself, and what I "really wanted". To get there, was to change the little things, not try to change the whole in one go.
Ended up looking at myself as a completely different person and I liked it, broke the mind set. In the end the only person I was in completion with, was with myself.
Words are easy hard part is the doing, Hope there is food for thought there
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It really hasn't made any difference, I've always been confident and comfortable with myself. Sure, all the fabs and nice comments are an ego boost, but I do take them with a pinch of salt...I'm not perfect, nobody is, and whilst I wasn't hit too hard with the ugly stick, I also have plenty of jiggly bits. In my humble opinion looks can only get you so far...personality, attitude and mindset are what really count. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *di086Man
over a year ago
Barnsley |
"Were you a person lacking in confidence before you joined fab? Has fab helped you to gain this confidence?
OR
Was you a confident person before you joined fab and have lost confidence through not getting meets and getting let down etc?
Suppose it's a bit of both for ourselves and probably not so straight forward in a couple's relationship. X"
I've been quiet shy at the 1rst time irl yet while being on this site it's been even worse... As we mens are bombarding womens here with messages starting with like 1liners - they (womens) are tracting now each account with man in it as a piece of  ... While they do have blank profile and demanding entire elaborate in 1rst message so overall forever and ever alone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Had lost my confidence completely as I was in a relationship where I wasn't desired at all and joined fab after another app.
Have to say it has boosted my confidence a great deal. Reactions to my pics on my single profile when I had it, the reactions of forumites and the meets I had, not that there was a huge number, it all as a collective helped me. My first meet off the app before fab did wonders for my confidence. I'm actually quite grateful for that.
PW |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Has fab boosted my confidence?
Yes and no. I didn't necessarily need a confidence boost, I'm in a loving relationship and I know I'm 'sorta alright' but I appreciate when others appreciate me/my pictures/videos. So thanks to each and every one of you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
100%… I’ve been working hard on myself last year and due to my body completely changing it gave me the courage to take the plunge into Fab…Always felt like physically nobody would look twice at me now I feel as confident as I’ve ever felt!
N.x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"100%… I’ve been working hard on myself last year and due to my body completely changing it gave me the courage to take the plunge into Fab…Always felt like physically nobody would look twice at me now I feel as confident as I’ve ever felt!
N.x"
You look fantastic for it too gorgeous |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes it has boosted my confidence I was a size 22 when I first came on here… been on and off over the years…. But now I’m a size 10. Not that I’m an hotphotos queen or get high numbers but the fabs certainly boosted my confidence and helped with my weight loss journey…. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes it has boosted my confidence I was a size 22 when I first came on here… been on and off over the years…. But now I’m a size 10. Not that I’m an hotphotos queen or get high numbers but the fabs certainly boosted my confidence and helped with my weight loss journey…. "
Well done lovely!xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.
It's not a competition. No woman on here should be competing with another nor made to feel like they're somehow lesser. People like different things at the same time and our appearance can only carry us so far. This idea that women need to compete against each other is damaging, untrue and unkind.
Look at the women on this thread - we're all very different whether that's our age, skin colour, hair colour, body size, shape.... you get the idea. We're all in our lane, cruising along doing our own thing - it's not a race.
You are worthwhile Outsider. x"
Compete is the wrong word. 'Participate' is probably better. I don't see it as a competition.
Hence my profile name... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
It was a huge confidence boost initially, making me realize I was more attractive and appealing than I'd ever imagined. One of the positive aspects of my experience here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s not boosted my confidence (because I’m confident as fuck, or ignorant, one of the two) but it has made me realise a lot of people lack a sense of humour and take life far too seriously, if you can’t laugh, joke and smile with people you’re going to bash bits with then what is even the point? I also do realise that “bash bits” is an elegant phrase, do feel free to borrow it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Massively. Before fab I'd only been with about 5 guys my while life.
Now we're taking photos & videos of me & sharing with others.
Having sex with strangers & buying sexy clothes just for meetups.
Best thing we have ever done |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Far from it. It's made me question myself in a way no other site ever has. Thankfully real world interactions give me the little confidence boost I need to get back to myself again.
I've come to accept I'm not a good fit for this site and I won't find what I'm looking for here, and now I'm predominantly using it to find group socials and to pass the time when I'm in dull calls at work. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Neither one nor the other for me.
I wouldn’t say I was lacking in confidence before joining fab or that it has helped me gain any.
I think it’s great that fab can help people gain confidence and am all for that  but totally get how it can do both - help gain but also lose that confidence. Which is not always only about the fab experience but other areas of your life and what you may be going through and feeling at the time.
So can be a double-edged sword in how the positive and negative experiences affect someone.
We are all different after all and don’t handle things in the same way.
Ignored messages, messages of rejection and let-downs might feel like nothing much when you are up but when you are down, they can make you feel like ****
I have used forums since I was young(er) - handbag.com was the first.
I am a fan of them for seeing other people’s thoughts, opinions, having a sounding board, etc. Not everyone has people in their life they can feel comfortable asking and discussing certain things.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Fab has never been a confidence building exercise.
People have always said I have a confident personality, which I somewhat disagree with.
I think most of us see ourselves differently to how others perceive us.
Nothing has changed since joining fab |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Neither.
I was a confident person before I joined FAB.
My FAB experience hasn't built or destroyed that confidence.
It is very much a learning experience though it you are open enough to allow it to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah I'm confident that dropping a message to someone with similar interests and having read through their profile and where requested attach a face pic will not result in any further conversation also confident that for the larger percentage of men on here there's a good proportion of men choosing to pose as women.............not too sure what they gain from this though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It reinforced it more than boosted.
I've never been very confident throughout my life despite having to be the rock that everyone else relied heavily on.
A combination of health issues, circumstances and a new determination allowed me to look differently at myself just before turning 50 and I realised I wasn't invisible after all.
I found fab a couple of years later and in general it has been a positive experience.
I don't follow trends in here and am confident in my own approach.
There are younger, fitter, better looking, better endowed guys on here but I'm not competing with any of them.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Although I consider myself to be unimpressionable - Fab has, to some extent, given me a subtle uplift to my confidence. I've remained true to myself, gained a few friends and refined my profile for my own simple pleasure. I'm not here to measure up to anyone else.
Fab has given me a conduit to explore my social side - wherever that may lead. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Drag gave me confidence but it's a very asexual thing. Fab seemed like a way to give the me underneath it some focus and attention. Not been here long enough to say what it'll do for my self confidence (which is generally pretty high anyway). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope. I'm still not very confident.
I take everything on here with a big pinch of salt"
My confidence goes up and down, one little thing can dent it.
I'm always thinking the worse |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think, on balance, I'm pretty confident. I know what I can offer, I know where my strengths lie, and I know what I'm not suitable for.
Using Fab is dispiriting because it shows me over and over that there doesn't seem to be a market for what I bring.
I don't know whether it's the way I look, or the way I write, or what, but there's clearly something wrong with me and I'm not connecting.
The sooner it's safe to go back to clubs the better, really. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
". x
It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?"
That's so not true! I don't think any of the guys I've met have had a six pack and 8 inches. Not all women are looking for that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd say it has a bit, confidence isn't exactly high for me. But it has been nice to have people say good things.... but then on the other hand, it's mainly men that fab my pics. So in my mind makes me feel less desirable to women, so confidence can take a knock sometimes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?
No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.
I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win".
I'm afraid our experiences vary here. What makes these men successful then? A winning personality? I've read enough veris and looked at enough male profiles to see who is getting it, and to debunk a common myth, it's not because of socials.
It's also not because they write better replies, because the mails I write are each unique and verbose. It's not looks because I'm actually quite decent looking. It's not great profiles because there are some one liners. I've cut mine down because there wasn't any point. It's not a shitty attitude because this is just how I see it. I can't do the social scene because I'm a single guy and about as welcome as a rabid badger (I did a swinger's party years ago and it was terrible, treated like a leper was an understatement, people visibly just turning their backs to me).
So you end up with a small group at the top with thirty odd veris, contacts, etc., and then the rest of us. It's unfortunate but that is the reality for the vast, vast, majority of men on here."
You only competing against yourself. I've got 8 years on you and didn't join here until I was 52 with virtually no experience.
This is my 4th profile in 5 years because I was out of my depth but I took advise, listened to others and I'm still here.
I had 30 veris on my last profile. 28 of those were from a fab social walking group.
I have quite a few veries on this profile and once again 95% are from socials.
I've had a total of 7 play meets in 5 years so I'm not prolific but I don't care. I'm having fun and enjoying it.
I don't whinge when things aren't going my way and anyone who knows me through messages or the forums know I certainly don't blow smoke up anyone's arse on here. Quite the opposite in fact. However the fact that I'm being me and not trying to compete let's people see that I'm genuine and not trying to be all things to all men or women.
I'm not in any elite group because of all of the above. I'm just being me.
I know my capabilities. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
". x
It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?
That's so not true! I don't think any of the guys I've met have had a six pack and 8 inches. Not all women are looking for that."
I cannot speak on behalf of any women and I’m glad you are of that nature, I wish to find someone like you on here but purely on observation, it appears you need to be an identical twin to either Idris Elba or Chris Hemsworth with a huge penis, as well as having learned the art of seduction from Casanova himself to be considered for a reply then to be within 3 neighbourhoods of the person you’re inviting for a meet. My confidence is unchanged on fab, if anyone I have more confidence of speaking/meeting people in clubs, venues etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?
No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.
I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win".
I'm afraid our experiences vary here. What makes these men successful then? A winning personality? I've read enough veris and looked at enough male profiles to see who is getting it, and to debunk a common myth, it's not because of socials.
It's also not because they write better replies, because the mails I write are each unique and verbose. It's not looks because I'm actually quite decent looking. It's not great profiles because there are some one liners. I've cut mine down because there wasn't any point. It's not a shitty attitude because this is just how I see it. I can't do the social scene because I'm a single guy and about as welcome as a rabid badger (I did a swinger's party years ago and it was terrible, treated like a leper was an understatement, people visibly just turning their backs to me).
So you end up with a small group at the top with thirty odd veris, contacts, etc., and then the rest of us. It's unfortunate but that is the reality for the vast, vast, majority of men on here.
You only competing against yourself. I've got 8 years on you and didn't join here until I was 52 with virtually no experience.
This is my 4th profile in 5 years because I was out of my depth but I took advise, listened to others and I'm still here.
I had 30 veris on my last profile. 28 of those were from a fab social walking group.
I have quite a few veries on this profile and once again 95% are from socials.
I've had a total of 7 play meets in 5 years so I'm not prolific but I don't care. I'm having fun and enjoying it.
I don't whinge when things aren't going my way and anyone who knows me through messages or the forums know I certainly don't blow smoke up anyone's arse on here. Quite the opposite in fact. However the fact that I'm being me and not trying to compete let's people see that I'm genuine and not trying to be all things to all men or women.
I'm not in any elite group because of all of the above. I'm just being me.
I know my capabilities."
Well, good for you then. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wouldn't say it's boosted my confidence but it's made me appreciate different aspects of myself that I hadn't considered before. Whilst you can dismiss one comment (good or bad) from a total stranger, if lots of folk say the same thing then maybe there's a grain of truth in it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes it has boosted my confidence I was a size 22 when I first came on here… been on and off over the years…. But now I’m a size 10. Not that I’m an hotphotos queen or get high numbers but the fabs certainly boosted my confidence and helped with my weight loss journey….
Well done lovely!xxx"
Thank you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Neither. I have a healthy level of self esteem anyway. I also self validate and so the number of likes my pics get means very little to me.
I work on things like my mental health, confidence and self esteem regularly which helps. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women.
Agreed."
Seriously?? I thought this was a well known thing already? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It definitely has increased my confidence but I'm not naive. You can't take anything you read too seriously on here. From my previous profile I realised a lot of men on here just want to be watched whilst wanking on cam etc and don't even have the decency to say "thanks for that, bye" lol. Nevermind, learnt from it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women.
Agreed.
Seriously?? I thought this was a well known thing already? "
Nope. We're constantly told indirectly that we should be slim. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women.
Agreed.
Seriously?? I thought this was a well known thing already?
Nope. We're constantly told indirectly that we should be slim. "
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough/ Kettering |
"Definitely a double edged sword... some days it makes me feel fantastic, some days it makes me feel self conscious and shit about myself "
I used to feel the same way if I received a negative response but now I'm more care free about it all. A complimentnor a fab on a pic does make you feel good even if you are having a bad day ( I remember getting one in 2011) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Getting involved in the swinging world (my involvement pre-dates Fab by more years than a I care to mention) has certainly helped with my confidence. Swinging put me in a lot of situations where I talked to new people. It made me better at ‘chit-chat’ and certainly made me more relaxed about speaking to and complimenting people. It helped with work a lot where I used to be very introverted and lacking In confidence. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Most definitely knocks your confidence as a bloke that struggles to get reply never mind meets. You can't get verified cos people like you to be verified and that on its own is a bit of a nightmare. You can't do 1 without the other |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
