FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Scam or not?
Scam or not?
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Recently I contacted a member who had only been on the site for around a month about meeting.
I will not yet reveal this persons details in case I’m wrong.
After an interrogation from them about why I didn’t have any verifications, they agreed to meet.
Now on their profile they stated all arrangements would be done on another (external) messaging system. As I had this app on my phone I agreed thinking this person was just being safety conscious about their information.
So we arrange a date and I was asked to find a hotel close to them which I did. They asked if I wanted go 50/50 with them but me being me said I would cover the cost.
Now here’s the suspicions but.
They wanted to book and pay for the hotel then for me to transfer the money into their bank account. Naturally I refused to send money to a complete stranger and said I would pay the hotel direct.
To that end they then wanted me to send them a photo of my licence for their safety. With trepidation I agreed to this.
The next day they cancelled the meeting saying more than two people had told them I was a time waster and named and shamed others. I was speechless as I pride myself on my honesty and integrity
So I hand it to you. Do you think this was a scam or not? Have you had a similar experience? No names please.
I’ve notified admin and asked them to keep an eye on this person.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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SCAM!!!!
Don’t be surprised if you find applications for loans and what not being made in your name now!!
I hope I’m wrong but you need to be vigilant of everything now!! |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"The fact you asked this tells me that you need to put your dick away and wake up.
Good grief. "
This is out of order, anyone can be taken in, anyone.
Would you say this to the countless people that have been taken in by romance scams? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, 100 per cent sounds like a scam.
The app that you were asked to use to chat, I’m guessing that it began and ended with a k? "
And I bet the account was like 22 days old… |
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It doesn't seem appropriate at all.
It is better to do public meetings if you don't know others, certainly before giving any personal information, which isn't generally needed.
And never pay anyone for anything that has not been provided, when you don't know them.
I keep 99% on fab, as it's just too complicated jumping around.
Obviously, never name and shame or share their info anyhow. |
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"deffo sounds like a scam, you should sign up to credit reference agencies to keep an eye out for loans or credit cards being applied for in your name"
Thanks but already with a credit ref agency with protection. |
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"Name and shame so no one else gets caught ."
Not allowed. Will get him banned.
OP definitely dodgy... never, ever give out any really oersonal ir identity details to randoms anywhere.
I hope this doesn't cause you and financial issues. |
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"Name and shame so no one else gets caught .
Not allowed. Will get him banned.
OP definitely dodgy... never, ever give out any really oersonal ir identity details to randoms anywhere.
I hope this doesn't cause you and financial issues. "
As much as I’d like to name and shame I won’t. It not fair in the unlikely event they’re genuine. If I get conclusive evidence it will be past on to admin to deal with. We aren’t a vigilante society yet. |
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That’s very worrying and definitely sounds like a scam why they want licence is crazy surely a video call would show real.
Sending personal data amis a huge rusk sorry not meaning to scare but the info and details can create is shocking.
Shame can’t let others know name so aware and keep safe but understand rule but also worrying someone doing it |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
Your driving licence has your full name, address and the first 6 digits of your licence number numbers of your DOB.
Why would you send those details to a stranger?
You would have been better off sending the hotel to her account, it would only have cost you a few pounds then. Keep an eye on your credit file for the next few weeks.
Next time, either do a social or video call or something. |
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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago
In my happy place |
"The fact you asked this tells me that you need to put your dick away and wake up.
Good grief.
This is out of order, anyone can be taken in, anyone.
Would you say this to the countless people that have been taken in by romance scams? "
Yes. Totally. Never trust anything on internet as it can be faked. People have emotional weakness and scammers manipulation ate it. |
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"You'll probably have credit cards and all sorts in your name now, don't be surprised if bailiffs or the rozzers turn up at your house further down the line."
This is possible OP, you should inform your bank and other institutions that use your data. |
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By *ttmcdguyTV/TS
over a year ago
Milton Keynes |
"Name and shame so no one else gets caught .
Not allowed. Will get him banned.
OP definitely dodgy... never, ever give out any really oersonal ir identity details to randoms anywhere.
I hope this doesn't cause you and financial issues.
As much as I’d like to name and shame I won’t. It not fair in the unlikely event they’re genuine. If I get conclusive evidence it will be past on to admin to deal with. We aren’t a vigilante society yet. "
It’s quite obvious that they are not genuine
As soon as they asked to switch to another website sort of sounds like a tea bell
Then to ask for money! Definate lunchtime bell
Asking for personal information!! Full blown tornado warning!!
I do hope you blanked out your address and drivers number before sending it to them!!
Name and shame as someone else might not be as vigilant as you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a scam, two things - never send anything that has your personal details on it (drivers license, passport etc) and never send money to someone you don’t know.
I’d block and report and take it as a lesson learned.
They have probably been on the site before under a different name |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As 10cc said, The things we do for love. Or in this case a shag.
Should have added at the end of your post " asking for a friend" OP.
Thats the golden rule  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% scam. So many bad signs:
1) Asking for money first
2) Asking for personal details
3) Deciding to meet in hotel without having a social. Socials are how people decide if it's safe to meet the person. Not by getting ID card |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A good confidence trickster will ask for money knowing it'll be refused. Then go for what they really want. ID is more valuable. If it I as bad as it sounds check your banks and mail. Change your mobile number. Don't click on links. If it isn't a scam take a positive and learn the mistake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently I contacted a member who had only been on the site for around a month about meeting.
I will not yet reveal this persons details in case I’m wrong.
After an interrogation from them about why I didn’t have any verifications, they agreed to meet.
Now on their profile they stated all arrangements would be done on another (external) messaging system. As I had this app on my phone I agreed thinking this person was just being safety conscious about their information.
So we arrange a date and I was asked to find a hotel close to them which I did. They asked if I wanted go 50/50 with them but me being me said I would cover the cost.
Now here’s the suspicions but.
They wanted to book and pay for the hotel then for me to transfer the money into their bank account. Naturally I refused to send money to a complete stranger and said I would pay the hotel direct.
To that end they then wanted me to send them a photo of my licence for their safety. With trepidation I agreed to this.
The next day they cancelled the meeting saying more than two people had told them I was a time waster and named and shamed others. I was speechless as I pride myself on my honesty and integrity
So I hand it to you. Do you think this was a scam or not? Have you had a similar experience? No names please.
I’ve notified admin and asked them to keep an eye on this person.
"
Fella read your own post 3 times.
"RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE"
MORE THAN A SCAM
YOUR BEING GROOMED FULLY. " |
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Sorry but everyone on here is correct. Full on scam! The problem is now they have your driving licence with your name, address, signature and DOB on they will apply for online loans and credit cards.
Good luck! |
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"Recently I contacted a member who had only been on the site for around a month about meeting.
I will not yet reveal this persons details in case I’m wrong.
After an interrogation from them about why I didn’t have any verifications, they agreed to meet.
Now on their profile they stated all arrangements would be done on another (external) messaging system. As I had this app on my phone I agreed thinking this person was just being safety conscious about their information.
So we arrange a date and I was asked to find a hotel close to them which I did. They asked if I wanted go 50/50 with them but me being me said I would cover the cost.
Now here’s the suspicions but.
They wanted to book and pay for the hotel then for me to transfer the money into their bank account. Naturally I refused to send money to a complete stranger and said I would pay the hotel direct.
To that end they then wanted me to send them a photo of my licence for their safety. With trepidation I agreed to this.
The next day they cancelled the meeting saying more than two people had told them I was a time waster and named and shamed others. I was speechless as I pride myself on my honesty and integrity
So I hand it to you. Do you think this was a scam or not? Have you had a similar experience? No names please.
I’ve notified admin and asked them to keep an eye on this person.
"
Scam. Never send your ID to anyone, let alone complete strangers on a website. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My husband had a similar experience. Chatted to a girl. She sent pictures etc and they chatted on the phone. They agreed to meet in a "hotel" of her choice and do 50/50. They met. It wasn't a hotel but either her flat or an Airbnb. She apparently just went on and on about earning lots of money and being very successful. There was no flirting from her and nothing happened between them bit she wanted to arrange another meet in that same place again with my husband paying again. He obviously didn't and was really pissed off.
You really have to be extremely careful on here. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Sounds completely like a scam anyone asking for ID before a meet would be told to go to hell that is a massive red flag. And it doesnt insure they are any safer it just means they now have your details .In fact the minute they asked for the money to be sent to them I would have stopped the chat immediately.
I really don't understand why people jump through hoops on here in the hope of a meet. If someone is making you do that then they aren't interested.
And rather than book a hotel straight away when you don't know the person have a social meet first. It may not suit everyone to do that but it saves you money if you don't get on or they cancel or ghost you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gosh the things men will do to get laid  "
Tell me about it. Lads keep hold of Jonny boy dog trained and under control.
Emotional ownership is vital esp on the net!! |
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"Sounds completely like a scam anyone asking for ID before a meet would be told to go to hell that is a massive red flag. And it doesnt insure they are any safer it just means they now have your details .In fact the minute they asked for the money to be sent to them I would have stopped the chat immediately.
I really don't understand why people jump through hoops on here in the hope of a meet. If someone is making you do that then they aren't interested.
And rather than book a hotel straight away when you don't know the person have a social meet first. It may not suit everyone to do that but it saves you money if you don't get on or they cancel or ghost you. "
I always ask for a social meet first. If someone doesn’t have half an hour to meet for a coffee or drink in a pub, nothing else is ever going to happen  |
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By *ominantDogMan
over a year ago
Docklands, Exmoor, Manchester |
Golly, so many self congratulatory , omnipotent, omniscient posts on here.
Based on the responses on this thread it's amazing that the fraudsters haven't already packed up and gone home as they are clearly wasting their time with this crew.
OP, I am sorry for your experience. If you wipe the smugness off some of the posts there is some sound advice underneath.
Fraudsters rely on their targets getting caught up in the moment and stepping over their instinctive reactions to do things they would never usually countenance. It happens to smart people, every single day. Easy to see when it's written down and you are on the sideline eating popcorn,not so simple when a relationship is being established and desires cloud objective judgement.
Go easy on yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds completely like a scam anyone asking for ID before a meet would be told to go to hell that is a massive red flag. And it doesnt insure they are any safer it just means they now have your details .In fact the minute they asked for the money to be sent to them I would have stopped the chat immediately.
I really don't understand why people jump through hoops on here in the hope of a meet. If someone is making you do that then they aren't interested.
And rather than book a hotel straight away when you don't know the person have a social meet first. It may not suit everyone to do that but it saves you money if you don't get on or they cancel or ghost you.
I always ask for a social meet first. If someone doesn’t have half an hour to meet for a coffee or drink in a pub, nothing else is ever going to happen "
Spot on Guv.. |
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"Golly, so many self congratulatory , omnipotent, omniscient posts on here.
Based on the responses on this thread it's amazing that the fraudsters haven't already packed up and gone home as they are clearly wasting their time with this crew.
OP, I am sorry for your experience. If you wipe the smugness off some of the posts there is some sound advice underneath.
Fraudsters rely on their targets getting caught up in the moment and stepping over their instinctive reactions to do things they would never usually countenance. It happens to smart people, every single day. Easy to see when it's written down and you are on the sideline eating popcorn,not so simple when a relationship is being established and desires cloud objective judgement.
Go easy on yourself."
Definitely this.
OP, We can’t all be absolutely perfect and all knowing.
Personally, I’ve clicked the link when I’ve had a message claiming to be from Royal Mail saying I needed to pay for re delivery. I’ve actually done it twice!
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"Golly, so many self congratulatory , omnipotent, omniscient posts on here.
Based on the responses on this thread it's amazing that the fraudsters haven't already packed up and gone home as they are clearly wasting their time with this crew.
OP, I am sorry for your experience. If you wipe the smugness off some of the posts there is some sound advice underneath.
Fraudsters rely on their targets getting caught up in the moment and stepping over their instinctive reactions to do things they would never usually countenance. It happens to smart people, every single day. Easy to see when it's written down and you are on the sideline eating popcorn,not so simple when a relationship is being established and desires cloud objective judgement.
Go easy on yourself."
Thanks for your wise words. I know many will disagree with this but I do consider my self scam aware. I’ve foiled many scam attempts in the past. On here and from texts, emails etc.
The person was making all the right sounds and even after they had my details. This is why I am still not 100% convinced (90%though) and why I was asking if anyone else has had a very similar experience recently.
It’s very easy to sit on the sidelines to criticise and make judgments.
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Something I didn’t think to add in my original post is this person is a site supporter and photo verified.
Apologies for any unintentional miss direction.
I have a copy of an excerpt of the conversation (persons identity edited out by me) but unfortunately I can’t post it here.
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Plenty of people critical of the Op on this thread. Anyone reading this and wants advice in the future may have second thoughts about opening up on here.
I’m sure the Op is fully aware he was a little bit naive in sending what he did. However in his defence he has actually stated he’s aware that he should keep an eye on his credit file and notified them. Also as a fully verified member, he thought it would be a bit safer.
Plenty of people also saying ‘name and shame’ well that’s against forum rules and also open to abuse, so if you’re suggesting this, then you come across as ignorant of the damage that can cause, so shouldn’t be critical of the Op and his post.
Took some courage to admit and look for advice Op, hopefully lesson learned and no further damage.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Golly, so many self congratulatory , omnipotent, omniscient posts on here.
Based on the responses on this thread it's amazing that the fraudsters haven't already packed up and gone home as they are clearly wasting their time with this crew.
OP, I am sorry for your experience. If you wipe the smugness off some of the posts there is some sound advice underneath.
Fraudsters rely on their targets getting caught up in the moment and stepping over their instinctive reactions to do things they would never usually countenance. It happens to smart people, every single day. Easy to see when it's written down and you are on the sideline eating popcorn,not so simple when a relationship is being established and desires cloud objective judgement.
Go easy on yourself.
Thanks for your wise words. I know many will disagree with this but I do consider my self scam aware. I’ve foiled many scam attempts in the past. On here and from texts, emails etc.
The person was making all the right sounds and even after they had my details. This is why I am still not 100% convinced (90%though) and why I was asking if anyone else has had a very similar experience recently.
It’s very easy to sit on the sidelines to criticise and make judgments.
"
Some couples have posted on the forums that they demand proof of identity before they will meet someone. So it's still possible they are real and with no dodgy intent and maybe just chickened out.
I'd definitely see if you can get a replacement licence. Hope it doesn't end up causing you any issues. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Something I didn’t think to add in my original post is this person is a site supporter and photo verified.
Apologies for any unintentional miss direction.
I have a copy of an excerpt of the conversation (persons identity edited out by me) but unfortunately I can’t post it here.
"
There are quite a few accounts that are photo veried that are fake accounts so I would never rely on photo Veri to prove anything on here.
Site support is a few quid so scammers will easily spend that to make more .
There is no right or wrong way to find out if someone is genuine but anyone asking for money should always be a red flag even if they claim it's to cover a hotel cost. You did the right thing by not sending money at that stage.
I don't think anyone wants to see the conversation you had with them , you're the one who chatted and you believed them that's all that matters.
Personally I give out no personal info on here and I certainly wouldn't prove who I am to anyone on here people either want to meet or not if they expect me to jump through hoops they would be ignored.No meet is worth that on here. |
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Thank you to all those kind and wise people. It’s good to see there are still intelligent people with compassion.
Unfortunately, just like scammers there will always be people who enjoy putting the boot in. I tend to just ignore them. Hardly worth the time or effort.
The plus side to those people is they’re showing everyone their true colours and so may find it difficult to arrange meets in the future.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently I contacted a member who had only been on the site for around a month about meeting.
I will not yet reveal this persons details in case I’m wrong.
After an interrogation from them about why I didn’t have any verifications, they agreed to meet.
Now on their profile they stated all arrangements would be done on another (external) messaging system. As I had this app on my phone I agreed thinking this person was just being safety conscious about their information.
So we arrange a date and I was asked to find a hotel close to them which I did. They asked if I wanted go 50/50 with them but me being me said I would cover the cost.
Now here’s the suspicions but.
They wanted to book and pay for the hotel then for me to transfer the money into their bank account. Naturally I refused to send money to a complete stranger and said I would pay the hotel direct.
To that end they then wanted me to send them a photo of my licence for their safety. With trepidation I agreed to this.
The next day they cancelled the meeting saying more than two people had told them I was a time waster and named and shamed others. I was speechless as I pride myself on my honesty and integrity
So I hand it to you. Do you think this was a scam or not? Have you had a similar experience? No names please.
I’ve notified admin and asked them to keep an eye on this person.
"
This is why a social first is so important |
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