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Mastectomy..
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By *apoman OP Man
over a year ago
st hel3ns |
Suppose reason for my post is to be able to chat about it to others that have had to deal with this and suppose listen to their experiences.
My gf has just been diagnosed a week ago that she has breast cancer and that she has to have a mastectomy, something we werent expecting and to be honest still coming to terms with it and its still feels unreal.
We are very open with each other and do talk about it. Reason ive posted here is that we have spoken about visiting a club and trying out new things mmf,mff etc in the new year but got me thinking because cpl days after this news she said to me if i wanted to get out of this i could as all the things we spoke about doing after her op theres no chance she would be able to do those things.
It hurt me initially that she was thinking this way and then afterwards got me thinking that this will mentally scar her maybe forever ...i dont care if we dont carry out our sexual fantasies as ill always be here for her so just thought id try and get others thoughts that have been through same thing and how it menatally and sexually affected you...single women and cpls. |
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It is a very real issue and your concern for her is indicative of your love for her.
A lot of women see their breasts as a symbol of their womanly-ness but as a naturist I can say that is far from uncommon to see women who have had a mastectomy and remain very feminine.
I hope some woman on here can reply to help her. |
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I can't help feeling that being on here without her is possible wrong.
As far as the mastectomy, that is something that can be overcome with the right underwear and confidence.
Most of us have something we think will put other people off. And often we are correct.
But t will not out everyone off, and bravery is attractive too.
Hope she copes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You sound like you’ve got your head screwed on. It’s going to be a tough road ahead for you both physically and mentally. Reward yourselves often, try and keep that positivity and reach out to the likes of MacMillan for support. |
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By *apoman OP Man
over a year ago
st hel3ns |
"It is a very real issue and your concern for her is indicative of your love for her.
A lot of women see their breasts as a symbol of their womanly-ness but as a naturist I can say that is far from uncommon to see women who have had a mastectomy and remain very feminine.
I hope some woman on here can reply to help her."
Thanks for 1st reply... every little bit helps, ..i agree with the womanly-ness and not only having to deal with the cancer issue but its the mental issue afterwards that she may suffer with is what is worrying me as i love her no matter what but i understand that will be hard for her accept as this is taking a part of her away...if that makes sense. |
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I can only imagine how awful hearing this news has been on your girlfriend and for you too.
Your girlfriend must be feeling so many mixed emotions..has many unanswered questions.
As for the mastectomy, I know that there can be brilliant reconstructive surgery available.
I wish your girlfriend the very best. |
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By *apoman OP Man
over a year ago
st hel3ns |
"I can't help feeling that being on here without her is possible wrong.
As far as the mastectomy, that is something that can be overcome with the right underwear and confidence.
Most of us have something we think will put other people off. And often we are correct.
But t will not out everyone off, and bravery is attractive too.
Hope she copes "
Yes i kmow what your saying and we do have cpls account on here but i didnt want to post this under that account as i know will get pm's and i didnt want her to see that im trying to get a more understanding and and arm myself with what to maybe expect or not...
Hopefully going this way about it it will help me to help her in the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't help feeling that being on here without her is possible wrong.
As far as the mastectomy, that is something that can be overcome with the right underwear and confidence.
Most of us have something we think will put other people off. And often we are correct.
But t will not out everyone off, and bravery is attractive too.
Hope she copes
Yes i kmow what your saying and we do have cpls account on here but i didnt want to post this under that account as i know will get pm's and i didnt want her to see that im trying to get a more understanding and and arm myself with what to maybe expect or not...
Hopefully going this way about it it will help me to help her in the long run."
Maybe don't blab about such a personal aspect of her life from your single profile either |
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"Yes i kmow what your saying and we do have cpls account on here but i didnt want to post this under that account as i know will get pm's and i didnt want her to see that im trying to get a more understanding and and arm myself with what to maybe expect or not...
Hopefully going this way about it it will help me to help her in the long run."
That makes sense
Keep trying to help but don't push her |
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By *apoman OP Man
over a year ago
st hel3ns |
Yes we have already been in touch with mcmillan and had a good chat with them and they were and still are being very helpful.
Reconstruction is another issue in itself as specialist has said she would have to wait cpl years to even think about it as gf is type1 diabetic so will have to wait see how we go with that. |
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I met Mrs K a couple of years after her reconstruction following a double mastectomy. We started swinging soon after. We've had no problems in clubs, meeting couples and singles and even holidaying at Hedo - naked for a week.
I wasn't around at the time of Mrs K's mastectomy. I know it was (obviously) a huge thing for her at the time, but she's come through it brilliantly. In time, I hope the same can be true for you and your gf.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met Mrs K a couple of years after her reconstruction following a double mastectomy. We started swinging soon after. We've had no problems in clubs, meeting couples and singles and even holidaying at Hedo - naked for a week.
I wasn't around at the time of Mrs K's mastectomy. I know it was (obviously) a huge thing for her at the time, but she's come through it brilliantly. In time, I hope the same can be true for you and your gf.
"
I’ve heard and seen from women who had a reconstruction after they defeated the Tumor and they even managed to do a nipple tatt and they looked great
I know it probably is a very stressful situation, be there for her, regarding this stuff, it’s not all over, thing of it as more like a pause.
My surgeon has done plenty of reconstructions, and it can be a possibility in the future for your lady
All the best xx |
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I exchanged some texts with a girl on fab a couple of years ago who had undergone a mastectomy, a double one I think. She left fab I think but not sure if she came back under a different name, any forumites remember her? Pheonix I think her fab name was... being a cancer survivor myself we spoke quite candidly and it was no secret her husband had left her.
She told me how liberating it was and of her nerves too at the 1st time she attended a club again.
If anyone knows if she's still on fab perhaps they might be so kind as to tell her about this as the best advice always comes from experience...
I personally think the scars we wear either outwardly or internally say much about who we are, I understand how your wife is feeling and different people will deal with this in different ways. Its an individual and personal thing but I say fuck cancer, any sign of her battle should be worn with pride and instantly commands respect.
It doesn't stop her being sexy or attractive at all and her bravery actually makes her more so in my eyes... Good on ya and bless you both. |
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By *apoman OP Man
over a year ago
st hel3ns |
Thank you very much for messages i am taking them in and all the info and advice.
Im under no illusion that after her op next week that its going to be so stressful, all this information helps me so much as ive said things over last week trying to be positive and to help gf but sometimes things come out and sound completely opposite to what i was meaning but im a positive person and i know ill always be there for her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you very much for messages i am taking them in and all the info and advice.
Im under no illusion that after her op next week that its going to be so stressful, all this information helps me so much as ive said things over last week trying to be positive and to help gf but sometimes things come out and sound completely opposite to what i was meaning but im a positive person and i know ill always be there for her "
Have they worked out a treatment plan for her yet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Suppose reason for my post is to be able to chat about it to others that have had to deal with this and suppose listen to their experiences.
My gf has just been diagnosed a week ago that she has breast cancer and that she has to have a mastectomy, something we werent expecting and to be honest still coming to terms with it and its still feels unreal.
We are very open with each other and do talk about it. Reason ive posted here is that we have spoken about visiting a club and trying out new things mmf,mff etc in the new year but got me thinking because cpl days after this news she said to me if i wanted to get out of this i could as all the things we spoke about doing after her op theres no chance she would be able to do those things.
It hurt me initially that she was thinking this way and then afterwards got me thinking that this will mentally scar her maybe forever ...i dont care if we dont carry out our sexual fantasies as ill always be here for her so just thought id try and get others thoughts that have been through same thing and how it menatally and sexually affected you...single women and cpls."
Who else is she speaking to in the real world or online for support? I know Macmillan had/has various online forums where she could possibly speak to other women about how every aspect of the diagnosis and treatment will impact on her. Also Breast Cancer Now. A lot of women opt not to go for reconstruction for their own reasons so don't assume anything at this stage. Wish you both well x |
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By *apoman OP Man
over a year ago
st hel3ns |
"Suppose reason for my post is to be able to chat about it to others that have had to deal with this and suppose listen to their experiences.
My gf has just been diagnosed a week ago that she has breast cancer and that she has to have a mastectomy, something we werent expecting and to be honest still coming to terms with it and its still feels unreal.
We are very open with each other and do talk about it. Reason ive posted here is that we have spoken about visiting a club and trying out new things mmf,mff etc in the new year but got me thinking because cpl days after this news she said to me if i wanted to get out of this i could as all the things we spoke about doing after her op theres no chance she would be able to do those things.
It hurt me initially that she was thinking this way and then afterwards got me thinking that this will mentally scar her maybe forever ...i dont care if we dont carry out our sexual fantasies as ill always be here for her so just thought id try and get others thoughts that have been through same thing and how it menatally and sexually affected you...single women and cpls.
Who else is she speaking to in the real world or online for support? I know Macmillan had/has various online forums where she could possibly speak to other women about how every aspect of the diagnosis and treatment will impact on her. Also Breast Cancer Now. A lot of women opt not to go for reconstruction for their own reasons so don't assume anything at this stage. Wish you both well x"
Shes been speaking to her friends at the moment who have been through or going through breast cancer and also ive a cpl of mates whos wives have been through it and have said she can call them anytime for chats which shes not taken up at the moment.
I have been told about forums and groups that have been set up for breast cancer which ive mentioned but at the moment shes not looked at anything online as i think we are both in denial a little as its not sunk in yet whats happening but macmillan have been fantastic helping to sort few things out that we never ever thought about. |
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"I can't help feeling that being on here without her is possible wrong.
As far as the mastectomy, that is something that can be overcome with the right underwear and confidence.
Most of us have something we think will put other people off. And often we are correct.
But t will not out everyone off, and bravery is attractive too.
Hope she copes
Yes i kmow what your saying and we do have cpls account on here but i didnt want to post this under that account as i know will get pm's and i didnt want her to see that im trying to get a more understanding and and arm myself with what to maybe expect or not...
Hopefully going this way about it it will help me to help her in the long run.
Maybe don't blab about such a personal aspect of her life from your single profile either "
Really the poor man is trying to reach out for some support for himself without burdening his girlfriend with the fact that it’s is hard for him also  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't help feeling that being on here without her is possible wrong.
As far as the mastectomy, that is something that can be overcome with the right underwear and confidence.
Most of us have something we think will put other people off. And often we are correct.
But t will not out everyone off, and bravery is attractive too.
Hope she copes
Yes i kmow what your saying and we do have cpls account on here but i didnt want to post this under that account as i know will get pm's and i didnt want her to see that im trying to get a more understanding and and arm myself with what to maybe expect or not...
Hopefully going this way about it it will help me to help her in the long run.
Maybe don't blab about such a personal aspect of her life from your single profile either
Really the poor man is trying to reach out for some support for himself without burdening his girlfriend with the fact that it’s is hard for him also "
That's really not how I see it |
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"I can't help feeling that being on here without her is possible wrong.
As far as the mastectomy, that is something that can be overcome with the right underwear and confidence.
Most of us have something we think will put other people off. And often we are correct.
But t will not out everyone off, and bravery is attractive too.
Hope she copes
Yes i kmow what your saying and we do have cpls account on here but i didnt want to post this under that account as i know will get pm's and i didnt want her to see that im trying to get a more understanding and and arm myself with what to maybe expect or not...
Hopefully going this way about it it will help me to help her in the long run.
Maybe don't blab about such a personal aspect of her life from your single profile either
Really the poor man is trying to reach out for some support for himself without burdening his girlfriend with the fact that it’s is hard for him also
That's really not how I see it "
I have been in this exact situation so I’m guessing I would possibly have more of a perspective on how a man would feel going through this situation than a woman??
Try to see the world through other peoples eyes you may improve your view
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking from experience, although I didn't have a mastectomy but terrible drugs to shrink my tumour, 6 hrs of surgery, infection for 15 weeks and then radiotherapy, I am nowhere near anybody even looking at my breasts. My scars are horrific. I feel like my femininity has gone and although I look okay in a bra etc, I wouldn't feel confident going to a club again or even a one on one meet at the moment. It's been a year from hell for me but, I know we all react differently. I hope all goes well, but expect at least 6 months minimum of healing time both physically and mentally. It's pretty tough. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Speaking from experience, although I didn't have a mastectomy but terrible drugs to shrink my tumour, 6 hrs of surgery, infection for 15 weeks and then radiotherapy, I am nowhere near anybody even looking at my breasts. My scars are horrific. I feel like my femininity has gone and although I look okay in a bra etc, I wouldn't feel confident going to a club again or even a one on one meet at the moment. It's been a year from hell for me but, I know we all react differently. I hope all goes well, but expect at least 6 months minimum of healing time both physically and mentally. It's pretty tough. x"
You look gorgeous in your pics. Hope 2022 is good to you xxx. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Speaking from experience, although I didn't have a mastectomy but terrible drugs to shrink my tumour, 6 hrs of surgery, infection for 15 weeks and then radiotherapy, I am nowhere near anybody even looking at my breasts. My scars are horrific. I feel like my femininity has gone and although I look okay in a bra etc, I wouldn't feel confident going to a club again or even a one on one meet at the moment. It's been a year from hell for me but, I know we all react differently. I hope all goes well, but expect at least 6 months minimum of healing time both physically and mentally. It's pretty tough. x"
You got through it and I hope you regain your confidence soon. Sadly for us my wife’s bc was very aggressive and got into her bones early on. I lost her five years ago and miss her every day. If I can ever help a person with cancer or their partner I always will. It helps me heal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Speaking from experience, although I didn't have a mastectomy but terrible drugs to shrink my tumour, 6 hrs of surgery, infection for 15 weeks and then radiotherapy, I am nowhere near anybody even looking at my breasts. My scars are horrific. I feel like my femininity has gone and although I look okay in a bra etc, I wouldn't feel confident going to a club again or even a one on one meet at the moment. It's been a year from hell for me but, I know we all react differently. I hope all goes well, but expect at least 6 months minimum of healing time both physically and mentally. It's pretty tough. x
You got through it and I hope you regain your confidence soon. Sadly for us my wife’s bc was very aggressive and got into her bones early on. I lost her five years ago and miss her every day. If I can ever help a person with cancer or their partner I always will. It helps me heal. "
I'm so sorry to hear that and send you a hug. Apparently 1 in 8 women now get it. I feel lucky to be alive as mine was also in my lymph nodes. My mum died of liver cancer a few months ago. Cancer is evil |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking from experience, although I didn't have a mastectomy but terrible drugs to shrink my tumour, 6 hrs of surgery, infection for 15 weeks and then radiotherapy, I am nowhere near anybody even looking at my breasts. My scars are horrific. I feel like my femininity has gone and although I look okay in a bra etc, I wouldn't feel confident going to a club again or even a one on one meet at the moment. It's been a year from hell for me but, I know we all react differently. I hope all goes well, but expect at least 6 months minimum of healing time both physically and mentally. It's pretty tough. x
You got through it and I hope you regain your confidence soon. Sadly for us my wife’s bc was very aggressive and got into her bones early on. I lost her five years ago and miss her every day. If I can ever help a person with cancer or their partner I always will. It helps me heal.
I'm so sorry to hear that and send you a hug. Apparently 1 in 8 women now get it. I feel lucky to be alive as mine was also in my lymph nodes. My mum died of liver cancer a few months ago. Cancer is evil "
Thank you and your right. It’s evil and doesn’t discriminate. Just spread the word about checking for lumps, bumps and any abnormalities. It could save a life x |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"Thank you very much for messages i am taking them in and all the info and advice.
Im under no illusion that after her op next week that its going to be so stressful, all this information helps me so much as ive said things over last week trying to be positive and to help gf but sometimes things come out and sound completely opposite to what i was meaning but im a positive person and i know ill always be there for her "
Only time will tell as to how she feels, my mum had a single mastectomy and doesn't feel confident without her softie and very conscious about it and showing anyone, her sister had a double mastectomy and happily goes about without any falsies and doesn't want reconstruction as she's happy with how it is not having to wear bras etc.
I hope it all goes well, and it's great that you're trying to get as much information and advice as possible to be there and support her xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suppose reason for my post is to be able to chat about it to others that have had to deal with this and suppose listen to their experiences.
My gf has just been diagnosed a week ago that she has breast cancer and that she has to have a mastectomy, something we werent expecting and to be honest still coming to terms with it and its still feels unreal.
We are very open with each other and do talk about it. Reason ive posted here is that we have spoken about visiting a club and trying out new things mmf,mff etc in the new year but got me thinking because cpl days after this news she said to me if i wanted to get out of this i could as all the things we spoke about doing after her op theres no chance she would be able to do those things.
It hurt me initially that she was thinking this way and then afterwards got me thinking that this will mentally scar her maybe forever ...i dont care if we dont carry out our sexual fantasies as ill always be here for her so just thought id try and get others thoughts that have been through same thing and how it menatally and sexually affected you...single women and cpls."
My niece had a mastectomy just about a year ago. She also had an implant inserted after she’d healed and after they found out that they’d been able to cut the cancer out, she did have a course of radiotherapy to make sure all the cells are gone. Perhaps this is something your GF will be offered. It will take time for her to feel well again, & able to be naked in front of strangers again, but with & love it will happen.  |
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By *apoman OP Man
over a year ago
st hel3ns |
Thank you very nuch to all for taking time to message...
We are very open with each other and always talk abiut anything but i also think its good that we both can talk to others and try n get as much help and information to try and help us.
Maybe thinking to far ahead but was therapy for mental issues offered or needed or was this something that had to be found privately?... just thinking of long term future and mental health n well being that gf will go through and what i can do or lool for to help as much as possible.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you very nuch to all for taking time to message...
We are very open with each other and always talk abiut anything but i also think its good that we both can talk to others and try n get as much help and information to try and help us.
Maybe thinking to far ahead but was therapy for mental issues offered or needed or was this something that had to be found privately?... just thinking of long term future and mental health n well being that gf will go through and what i can do or lool for to help as much as possible.
"
Your gf should be assigned a Breast Nurse who will give her an information book full of help, guidance and explanation. If mental help is needed, they will refer. I talk to people from a charity called "Someone like me" and have found them very helpful. |
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By *apoman OP Man
over a year ago
st hel3ns |
"Thank you very nuch to all for taking time to message...
We are very open with each other and always talk abiut anything but i also think its good that we both can talk to others and try n get as much help and information to try and help us.
Maybe thinking to far ahead but was therapy for mental issues offered or needed or was this something that had to be found privately?... just thinking of long term future and mental health n well being that gf will go through and what i can do or lool for to help as much as possible.
Your gf should be assigned a Breast Nurse who will give her an information book full of help, guidance and explanation. If mental help is needed, they will refer. I talk to people from a charity called "Someone like me" and have found them very helpful. "
Yes she has a breast nurse who was brilliant with both of us after we had the news and has been gf point of contact, will make a note of that charity for future reference ..thank you. |
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meant it as wanting to hear experiences from both woman and guys 
