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Real world online chat up.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In the least creepy way possible how do you gauge interest/show interest and progress to a being asked to go for a drink or a coffee or whatever?
Context: a social media friend request or follow and you’re dm’ing each other but convo is very casual. Some funnies, some tv series recommendations.
Obviously this is real world so can’t exactly go sending a picture of your tits or your bits and can’t go straight for the jugular and say you want them to ask for your time and company.
Do you just be patient and take the fact that they are responding and messaging as a sign of interest? |
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Two ways, like above says, just be upfront. Say you'd be interested in meeting up for a *whatever in real life.
Or second, just wait for something to come up in conversation, a mutually interesting event or something and say you should go together.
Failing that, the pussy pic would definitely work! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It’s different for real world and also for women.
I’m trying to stay in my feminine which would be wait for the guy to initiate anything *I know* that sounds dated and old fashioned but I’m a seasoned failure at all things dating so want to step away from anything and everything I’ve done in the past that hasn’t worked.
The basics are it’s the guy that likes the chase or pursue something.and stuff shouldn’t come easy or just fall in their laps.
Just wondering if there’s some clues or things to look out for that shows interest.
Guys think if you were messaging a woman from the real world that you know is single and you’re also single, you kind of know them or know of them but you’ve not really spoken in real life although have seen them over the years in real life. You wouldn’t just blurt out things from the start would you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s different for real world and also for women.
I’m trying to stay in my feminine which would be wait for the guy to initiate anything *I know* that sounds dated and old fashioned but I’m a seasoned failure at all things dating so want to step away from anything and everything I’ve done in the past that hasn’t worked.
The basics are it’s the guy that likes the chase or pursue something.and stuff shouldn’t come easy or just fall in their laps.
Just wondering if there’s some clues or things to look out for that shows interest.
Guys think if you were messaging a woman from the real world that you know is single and you’re also single, you kind of know them or know of them but you’ve not really spoken in real life although have seen them over the years in real life. You wouldn’t just blurt out things from the start would you. "
It's nearly 2022 with the two years we have just had take the bull by the horns... Your only asking to go for a brew |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m not afraid of asking but under no circumstances do I want to be the one that initiates meeting. I don’t want to. It’s masculine energy. It’s something I would’ve done in the past. Feel like this has happened organically without me doing anything other than accept a friend request and basically don’t want to fuck up a potential anything, I don’t even know what to call it as it’s nothing at the moment other than jokey comments and talking about shows. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the least creepy way possible how do you gauge interest/show interest and progress to a being asked to go for a drink or a coffee or whatever?
Context: a social media friend request or follow and you’re dm’ing each other but convo is very casual. Some funnies, some tv series recommendations.
Obviously this is real world so can’t exactly go sending a picture of your tits or your bits and can’t go straight for the jugular and say you want them to ask for your time and company.
Do you just be patient and take the fact that they are responding and messaging as a sign of interest? "
For me, I'd say that someone giving you their time is enough. If I'm talking to a person that I'm interested in I always make a point to let them know I appreciate their time spent talking to me. I'm also a firm believer that communication is king, so just let them know that you would like to go for a coffee or lunch. Keeping it informal also shows that you're not too keen, that way you are free to keep options open and not let them think they're onto a sure thing. |
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"It’s different for real world and also for women.
I’m trying to stay in my feminine which would be wait for the guy to initiate anything *I know* that sounds dated and old fashioned but I’m a seasoned failure at all things dating so want to step away from anything and everything I’ve done in the past that hasn’t worked.
The basics are it’s the guy that likes the chase or pursue something.and stuff shouldn’t come easy or just fall in their laps.
Just wondering if there’s some clues or things to look out for that shows interest.
Guys think if you were messaging a woman from the real world that you know is single and you’re also single, you kind of know them or know of them but you’ve not really spoken in real life although have seen them over the years in real life. You wouldn’t just blurt out things from the start would you. "
If I've been chatting to someone and I find them engaging then I absolutely would blurt out "fancy a coffee?".
I'm not asking him to shove his cock in my mouth, I'm asking if he fancies going for a coffee.
All feels a bit too much game playing for me OP, but good luck, I hope he picks up on it and it works out better than the last bloke who pursued you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It’s not my intent to play games. If I was asked any direct questions I would answer them honestly. I just don’t want to be the one to initiate anything that’s all cos it’s never worked out favourably before. Yeah I could probably get the meeting arranged but it puts me in the role of pursuer and takes it away from the guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s not my intent to play games. If I was asked any direct questions I would answer them honestly. I just don’t want to be the one to initiate anything that’s all cos it’s never worked out favourably before. Yeah I could probably get the meeting arranged but it puts me in the role of pursuer and takes it away from the guy. "
I'd be amazed if any guy on this planet would mind if you were the pursuer. You're phenomenal. |
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By *2spikeMan
over a year ago
Southsea |
Get on to the topic of food n places in the area you would like to try or maybe a theater show you would like to see. that would open the door to an invitation but leaving it in the hands of the other person. They may be looking for the chance to meet on neutral grounds but also not wanting to be the first to raise the subject. |
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"It’s not my intent to play games. If I was asked any direct questions I would answer them honestly. I just don’t want to be the one to initiate anything that’s all cos it’s never worked out favourably before. Yeah I could probably get the meeting arranged but it puts me in the role of pursuer and takes it away from the guy.
I'd be amazed if any guy on this planet would mind if you were the pursuer. You're phenomenal. "
which is precisely her point, that's your dream scenario not hers.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be traditional in the love stakes. It will also set the tone of any following relationship, she sets the thing going and in all likelihood the lucky chap will not make the effort much to maintain it.
She wants to be woo'd.
Stick to your guns girl, Mr Right with find you when you least expect it.
Mr Shady
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"I’m not afraid of asking but under no circumstances do I want to be the one that initiates meeting. I don’t want to. It’s masculine energy. It’s something I would’ve done in the past. Feel like this has happened organically without me doing anything other than accept a friend request and basically don’t want to fuck up a potential anything, I don’t even know what to call it as it’s nothing at the moment other than jokey comments and talking about shows. "
I know everyone is recommending going for a coffee so I’ll stick to that theme. Just ask if he knows any decent coffee places, say you’re bored of the usual costa etc and hope he picks up on it.
You’re looking for a specific guy that takes charge so to speak, keep to that idea if that’s the type of guy you want to meet up with. |
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"It’s not my intent to play games. If I was asked any direct questions I would answer them honestly. I just don’t want to be the one to initiate anything that’s all cos it’s never worked out favourably before. Yeah I could probably get the meeting arranged but it puts me in the role of pursuer and takes it away from the guy. "
If you don’t ask and he also has reasons not to (maybe he is shy or doesn’t want to come over as presumptive) then you have missed out as well. You only recall those times when you have tried and it didn’t work out. You can never recall those times when it would have worked out but didn’t because you failed to ask. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Annie, I actually completely understand about not wanting to make the first move. You’re just trying to switch it up a bit, if past approaches haven’t worked.
I would say that him messaging you = interest.
Good luck. |
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"It’s not my intent to play games. If I was asked any direct questions I would answer them honestly. I just don’t want to be the one to initiate anything that’s all cos it’s never worked out favourably before. Yeah I could probably get the meeting arranged but it puts me in the role of pursuer and takes it away from the guy.
If you don’t ask and he also has reasons not to (maybe he is shy or doesn’t want to come over as presumptive) then you have missed out as well. You only recall those times when you have tried and it didn’t work out. You can never recall those times when it would have worked out but didn’t because you failed to ask."
Nonsense. She would like the fella to assert himself and take charge of making things happen, the person you speak of isn't him. Not arrogance but assertive, there are some out there like this and she needn't lower her expectations in finding her love match. She's not, unless I've missed something , taking Fab but the real thing 
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By *ohoMan
over a year ago
Amsterdam,Netherlands |
I'm single and looking to date,I'm very open and spontaneous and not afraid to approach a lady,a compliment to start,and try to get a conversation going,seems pretty easy,im not the best looking guy,but alright for my age and got chemistry,but in these covid times it's not the same,and now to go online makes the approach way more difficult, trying to come across with only words and maybe a few pics is completely different as meeting in person,and struggling a bit to catch attention,any advice on that maybe very welcome...still hoping to find Mrs Right... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not about being in your feminine, being the pursuer, or anything.
Be authentic, be honest, be real. Own what you want. You can do that whilst staying in your femininity, you can do that in your soft and gentle energy, but just be yourself. All the time you’re trying to be something you’re not, you won’t find what you need.
Authenticity, openness and honesty are the way forward, to find a true partner, who wants you. |
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"It’s not my intent to play games. If I was asked any direct questions I would answer them honestly. I just don’t want to be the one to initiate anything that’s all cos it’s never worked out favourably before. Yeah I could probably get the meeting arranged but it puts me in the role of pursuer and takes it away from the guy.
If you don’t ask and he also has reasons not to (maybe he is shy or doesn’t want to come over as presumptive) then you have missed out as well. You only recall those times when you have tried and it didn’t work out. You can never recall those times when it would have worked out but didn’t because you failed to ask.
Nonsense. She would like the fella to assert himself and take charge of making things happen, the person you speak of isn't him. Not arrogance but assertive, there are some out there like this and she needn't lower her expectations in finding her love match. She's not, unless I've missed something , taking Fab but the real thing
"
I don't think it is nonsense to observe that if you don't ask you (often) don't get. Fab or IRL. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m not asking or initiating anything, end of. Even if it just fizzles to nothing I don’t care, there’s not even kisses on the messages, I ain’t putting them, he ain’t putting them. |
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"It’s not my intent to play games. If I was asked any direct questions I would answer them honestly. I just don’t want to be the one to initiate anything that’s all cos it’s never worked out favourably before. Yeah I could probably get the meeting arranged but it puts me in the role of pursuer and takes it away from the guy.
If you don’t ask and he also has reasons not to (maybe he is shy or doesn’t want to come over as presumptive) then you have missed out as well. You only recall those times when you have tried and it didn’t work out. You can never recall those times when it would have worked out but didn’t because you failed to ask.
Nonsense. She would like the fella to assert himself and take charge of making things happen, the person you speak of isn't him. Not arrogance but assertive, there are some out there like this and she needn't lower her expectations in finding her love match. She's not, unless I've missed something , taking Fab but the real thing
I don't think it is nonsense to observe that if you don't ask you (often) don't get. Fab or IRL."
I'm not disagreeing other than that is what she doesn't want to do.
We often approach people "who are out of our league..." lol.
And laughed a few into bed. So personally we are advocates of if you don't ask...
But that wasn't what the OP wants. |
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So many assumptions, here's one, maybe fellas think she's out of their league, in which case possibly he is, it sounds like she wants a fella who can hold his own in the personality stakes, be a gentleman and not use her looks alone as the gauge to meet with her and woo her.
Stick to your guns girl. Hopefully you'll find the man of your dreams soon, if not the one you've had some banter with. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I usually just wait to see if anything happens organically. I’m very old fashioned so I never make the first move anyway, but I’ve never regretted not having made a move, if that makes sense?
If it’s meant to happen then it will, if it doesn’t then it wasn’t meant.
Meanwhile crack on with sending “ask me out” mind vibes to help things along.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have you considered that "this guy" is just happy chatting and dosent want to form a relationship beyond a very superficial social media one.
were not all fuck hounds! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the least creepy way possible how do you gauge interest/show interest and progress to a being asked to go for a drink or a coffee or whatever?
Context: a social media friend request or follow and you’re dm’ing each other but convo is very casual. Some funnies, some tv series recommendations.
Obviously this is real world so can’t exactly go sending a picture of your tits or your bits and can’t go straight for the jugular and say you want them to ask for your time and company.
Do you just be patient and take the fact that they are responding and messaging as a sign of interest? "
Do you fancy him? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly, I’m straight to the point. I’ve been known to see a guy and just tell him I want to have sex with him. This was in a pre-pandemic world so I’m a little rusty now.
I am crap at small talk. So I skip the “how’s your day” nonsense and just ask “when are we next meeting”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bearing in mind your comments about not wanting to ask, could you reference an event that you'd like to go to? (difficult in Covid times). I think you may be in danger of letting him think he's in the friend zone. So maybe something like, 'so and so is meant to be good, I don't know anyone who likes it though' or maybe mention a restaurant/pub that's meant to be good. And then when you're there, say something like I'm so pleased you asked. I was starting to think you never would.
Honestly, men are dicks and we need things spelling out to us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not asking or initiating anything, end of. Even if it just fizzles to nothing I don’t care, there’s not even kisses on the messages, I ain’t putting them, he ain’t putting them. "
If discussions turn to eating or drinking, you could mention there is a new bar or restaurant you'd love to try but don't have anyone to go with? It's vague enough so it doesn't sound like you are pursuing but not subtle enough that it is open for him to make a 'guided' first move. |
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"It’s not my intent to play games. If I was asked any direct questions I would answer them honestly. I just don’t want to be the one to initiate anything that’s all cos it’s never worked out favourably before. Yeah I could probably get the meeting arranged but it puts me in the role of pursuer and takes it away from the guy. "
I do get where you're coming from, but wouldn't over think it. I bet he's having a very similar conversation with his mates "...been chatting to this hot girl, but can't make my move as I don't want to f*** it up". How long have you been chatting? He might also be concerned about looking like he's trying to push things too far, too fast.
Suggesting a coffee wouldn't make you the pursuer, in my eyes, as he would still need to do all the running over that coffee and beyond. But I see why you won't, and that's your choice, especially if you're happy that it just fizzes out (which is also likely if he's a ditherer).
You could, without asking, lead him - i.e. the next time be messages to ask what you're up up to, tell him when you're free and see if he bites. Or if it comes up in your chats, just casually drop in that you're the kind of girl who would never ask a guy out. He should get the hint...!? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don’t know if he would go for me though. I don’t know if he’s attracted to me. I don’t know anything other than every series he’s suggested for me I’ve already seen and our sense of humours are the same as he posts some quite out there videos that you’d go to hell for for laughing at them.
Plus it’s a busy af time at the moment and he has kids from previous marriage so will be doing the same kind of Xmas prep. He’s 41 and not someone I’m looking to just have a fuck with. I’d date this dude if it was an option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t know if he would go for me though. I don’t know if he’s attracted to me. I don’t know anything other than every series he’s suggested for me I’ve already seen and our sense of humours are the same as he posts some quite out there videos that you’d go to hell for for laughing at them.
Plus it’s a busy af time at the moment and he has kids from previous marriage so will be doing the same kind of Xmas prep. He’s 41 and not someone I’m looking to just have a fuck with. I’d date this dude if it was an option. "
Sounds like he would be a great friend to have. Maybe keep him as that and see how it goes? A relationship based on an amazing friendship can be better than one based on lust. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Very almost sent him a screen shot last night of some other random dude that had inboxed me on Facebook asking to fuck him (blacking out the picture and the persons name) but I thought better of it.
Wanted to so I could kind of flex and be like see… other men want to fuck me, was thinking it would increase my desirability but then I thought no actually that’s gross and would probably cheapen me so I didn’t and that’s progress there cos in the past that’s something I would’ve done.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve not heard a peep the last few days. I know it’s been Xmas and busy times.
If I message him even though I was the last person to respond it will look like I’m interested won’t it? I don’t mind if it does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve not heard a peep the last few days. I know it’s been Xmas and busy times.
If I message him even though I was the last person to respond it will look like I’m interested won’t it? I don’t mind if it does. "
If you don’t mind if it does look like you’re interested then why are you asking us if messaging him will look like you’re interested? I could understand you asking if you don’t want to look interested but why as whether doing something will have an affect that you don’t mind happening? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not asking if me messaging him will make it look like I’m interested. I was asking for hints and signs to show that HE is interested.
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You said ‘ If I message him even though I was the last person to respond it will look like I’m interested won’t it?’ that’s sounds me me like you’re asking if you messaging him will make it look like you’re interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How long have you been messaging him for? To be honest, if he hasn’t mentioned meeting up at all yet, even in a joking way or a ‘maybe sometime we can meet’ way then he probably isn’t interested and you might be better forgetting about him and moving on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not asking if me messaging him will make it look like I’m interested. I was asking for hints and signs to show that HE is interested.
"
Is he trying to make you laugh? That’s a good sign usually. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you want to make him laugh to show him that you’re interested then you should tell him that story you told us about when you rolled around in a puddle before knocking a man’s door to make it look like you’d been sat out in the rain all night waiting for him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you want to make him laugh to show him that you’re interested then you should tell him that story you told us about when you rolled around in a puddle before knocking a man’s door to make it look like you’d been sat out in the rain all night waiting for him. "
What is your problem? Every single thing is a jibe or having a go at me for something or other. Dissecting everything I say. You need to start charging me rent for the space I take up in your head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want to make him laugh to show him that you’re interested then you should tell him that story you told us about when you rolled around in a puddle before knocking a man’s door to make it look like you’d been sat out in the rain all night waiting for him. "
Dragging up things from her past, what a nice person you are 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want to make him laugh to show him that you’re interested then you should tell him that story you told us about when you rolled around in a puddle before knocking a man’s door to make it look like you’d been sat out in the rain all night waiting for him. "
Mate I’m gonna ask you to rain it In I don’t have no dog in this race there’s no favoritism here if you don’t like this girl moon walk the fuck out of this thread !
I know you from other threads your alright mate and I usually stay clear but this nonsense has been going all night and I’ve said nothing plus most importantly I’m getting kinda fucking jealous cause for once it’s not me causing trouble |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want to make him laugh to show him that you’re interested then you should tell him that story you told us about when you rolled around in a puddle before knocking a man’s door to make it look like you’d been sat out in the rain all night waiting for him.
What is your problem? Every single thing is a jibe or having a go at me for something or other. Dissecting everything I say. You need to start charging me rent for the space I take up in your head. "
I’m not having a go, I’m just asking you questions about things that are a bit unclear or that appear to maybe contradict something you said in a previous post so that I get a full picture and understand the situation fully. What I said in my previous post was genuine advice as it’s a funny story, it made me laugh anyway, and in the other thread I gave you genuine advice about how you could get more fabs for your pictures so I am looking out for you and I want to help you but I like to have a full understanding before I give any advice as I don’t want to give you bad advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bitch don’t eat yellow snow !!!!
See She can handle bad advice just not truck loads of nonsense !
I think you come from a good place pal try keep it in a positive direction nobody will take advice off someone good or bad after been slated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bitch don’t eat yellow snow !!!!
See She can handle bad advice just not truck loads of nonsense !
I think you come from a good place pal try keep it in a positive direction nobody will take advice off someone good or bad after been slated "
Don’t eat yellow snow is actually good advice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fair enough if I said this lion tamer that’s just got back from building a school for blind children in Africa has sent me a friend request offering to take me to Paris and I kinda don’t know what to do about it. I’ve said nothing of the sort. It’s just a guy who I’ve had a bit of back and forth with and talked about what television series we’ve recently watched.
Could that chat be any more boring!? I dunno how that comes across as fake information. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bitch don’t eat yellow snow !!!!
See She can handle bad advice just not truck loads of nonsense !
I think you come from a good place pal try keep it in a positive direction nobody will take advice off someone good or bad after been slated
Don’t eat yellow snow is actually good advice "
I know right ?
Ur reply was to long !!! Sorry I’ve had to make sandwiches between this reply I apologize ha
Yep I can be rambunctious at times on here
But Look I’m like yourself but more handsome
I do respect some of the stuff you said but I’d have to go read it again ha
Your a good person on the threads and everyone likes to throw shit at Annie cause she’s very brash I get that
And I get your point
But I know her a long time and I’m not coming at you everyone is entitled to there opinion but she’s a good one and I’ll have her back but also not trying to over step
I’m assuming this thread is closed now yeah ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fair enough if I said this lion tamer that’s just got back from building a school for blind children in Africa has sent me a friend request offering to take me to Paris and I kinda don’t know what to do about it. I’ve said nothing of the sort. It’s just a guy who I’ve had a bit of back and forth with and talked about what television series we’ve recently watched.
Could that chat be any more boring!? I dunno how that comes across as fake information. "
Ffs I’m trying to have your back now we are fucking lion taming ????
For a French dudes tv station  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
If anyone is fake it’s the person claiming to give me genuine advice but really they believe I’m full of shit and am just posting fantasy content for attention.
I can feel when someone’s intentions towards me aren’t very nice that is why everything they post feels like an attack, it’s because I know their true intent which has now been confirmed by their comment.
I’ve always said don’t kiss my cheek to finger my arse. If you don’t like me, don’t like me. Don’t try and dress anything up as concern, well wishes or “genuine advice” because I can see straight through it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If anyone is fake it’s the person claiming to give me genuine advice but really they believe I’m full of shit and am just posting fantasy content for attention.
I can feel when someone’s intentions towards me aren’t very nice that is why everything they post feels like an attack, it’s because I know their true intent which has now been confirmed by their comment.
I’ve always said don’t kiss my cheek to finger my arse. If you don’t like me, don’t like me. Don’t try and dress anything up as concern, well wishes or “genuine advice” because I can see straight through it. "
Sorry to dip in but I’d probably finger your arse regardless!!!
I know inappropriate sorry carry on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's quite simple folks op wants to be pursued, chased she is only looking for some tips on how to get the chase going well a quick synopsis!"
She’s a newb |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hello, you’re new around here.
I think that you should keep the casual conversation going and it will eventually develop into more.
If you’re feeling a bit frustrated in the time being you are welcome to rub yourself off over my profile pictures.
Hope this helps.
Kind regards.
Sam |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello, you’re new around here.
I think that you should keep the casual conversation going and it will eventually develop into more.
If you’re feeling a bit frustrated in the time being you are welcome to rub yourself off over my profile pictures.
Hope this helps.
Kind regards.
Sam "
Can I rub myself on your chin? |
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"Hello, you’re new around here.
I think that you should keep the casual conversation going and it will eventually develop into more.
If you’re feeling a bit frustrated in the time being you are welcome to rub yourself off over my profile pictures.
Hope this helps.
Kind regards.
Sam
Can I rub myself on your chin? "
Rub yourself on me wherever you want x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's quite simple folks op wants to be pursued, chased she is only looking for some tips on how to get the chase going well a quick synopsis!
She’s a newb
As is yourself Tony. "
She means you !!!!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello, you’re new around here.
I think that you should keep the casual conversation going and it will eventually develop into more.
If you’re feeling a bit frustrated in the time being you are welcome to rub yourself off over my profile pictures.
Hope this helps.
Kind regards.
Sam
Can I rub myself on your chin? "
Only if you’ve shaved and moisturised.
I’m a sensitive boy. |
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"It's quite simple folks op wants to be pursued, chased she is only looking for some tips on how to get the chase going well a quick synopsis!
She’s a newb
As is yourself Tony.
She means you !!!!
"
Tony Hawkes what are you on about you probably sit at home playing it on the PlayStation in you'd dc's and hoodie lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's quite simple folks op wants to be pursued, chased she is only looking for some tips on how to get the chase going well a quick synopsis!
She’s a newb
As is yourself Tony.
She means you !!!!
Tony Hawkes what are you on about you probably sit at home playing it on the PlayStation in you'd dc's and hoodie lol "
Just before I start are you aiming that at me ? |
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"It's quite simple folks op wants to be pursued, chased she is only looking for some tips on how to get the chase going well a quick synopsis!
She’s a newb
As is yourself Tony.
She means you !!!!
Tony Hawkes what are you on about you probably sit at home playing it on the PlayStation in you'd dc's and hoodie lol
Just before I start are you aiming that at me ?"
No horsebox! |
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"In the least creepy way possible how do you gauge interest/show interest and progress to a being asked to go for a drink or a coffee or whatever?
Context: a social media friend request or follow and you’re dm’ing each other but convo is very casual. Some funnies, some tv series recommendations.
Obviously this is real world so can’t exactly go sending a picture of your tits or your bits and can’t go straight for the jugular and say you want them to ask for your time and company.
Do you just be patient and take the fact that they are responding and messaging as a sign of interest? "
my opinion...its about accepting rejection..its raising ones hopes and if rejected ...its painful..? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's quite simple folks op wants to be pursued, chased she is only looking for some tips on how to get the chase going well a quick synopsis!
She’s a newb
As is yourself Tony.
She means you !!!!
Tony Hawkes what are you on about you probably sit at home playing it on the PlayStation in you'd dc's and hoodie lol
Just before I start are you aiming that at me ?
No horsebox!"
Haha who’s talking shit then ???
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the least creepy way possible how do you gauge interest/show interest and progress to a being asked to go for a drink or a coffee or whatever?
Context: a social media friend request or follow and you’re dm’ing each other but convo is very casual. Some funnies, some tv series recommendations.
Obviously this is real world so can’t exactly go sending a picture of your tits or your bits and can’t go straight for the jugular and say you want them to ask for your time and company.
Do you just be patient and take the fact that they are responding and messaging as a sign of interest? my opinion...its about accepting rejection..its raising ones hopes and if rejected ...its painful..?"
I’ll
Let you know when it happens |
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"It's quite simple folks op wants to be pursued, chased she is only looking for some tips on how to get the chase going well a quick synopsis!
She’s a newb
As is yourself Tony.
She means you !!!!
Tony Hawkes what are you on about you probably sit at home playing it on the PlayStation in you'd dc's and hoodie lol
Just before I start are you aiming that at me ?
No horsebox!
Haha who’s talking shit then ???
"
You're a newb our fella take it nice and handy.
And don't be at it.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's quite simple folks op wants to be pursued, chased she is only looking for some tips on how to get the chase going well a quick synopsis!
She’s a newb
As is yourself Tony.
She means you !!!!
Tony Hawkes what are you on about you probably sit at home playing it on the PlayStation in you'd dc's and hoodie lol
Just before I start are you aiming that at me ?
No horsebox!
Haha who’s talking shit then ???
You're a newb our fella take it nice and handy.
And don't be at it.
"
What’s Tony hawkes got to do with anything? Am I missing something.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
This has completely gone to shit. Does anyone believe that when I was 19 years old I once rolled around in a puddle to wet myself up to pretend to my boyfriend at the time that I’d been outside his mates house waiting for him all night? Does anyone even care? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This has completely gone to shit. Does anyone believe that when I was 19 years old I once rolled around in a puddle to wet myself up to pretend to my boyfriend at the time that I’d been outside his mates house waiting for him all night? Does anyone even care? "
Course I care !!!!! It’s strange as fuck and I only care cause why the hell would you do that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This has completely gone to shit. Does anyone believe that when I was 19 years old I once rolled around in a puddle to wet myself up to pretend to my boyfriend at the time that I’d been outside his mates house waiting for him all night? Does anyone even care?
Course I care !!!!! It’s strange as fuck and I only care cause why the hell would you do that "
Cos back then in my young twisted mind I thought that if he thought I’d stayed out there the whole night he’d feel sorry for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This has completely gone to shit. Does anyone believe that when I was 19 years old I once rolled around in a puddle to wet myself up to pretend to my boyfriend at the time that I’d been outside his mates house waiting for him all night? Does anyone even care?
Course I care !!!!! It’s strange as fuck and I only care cause why the hell would you do that
Cos back then in my young twisted mind I thought that if he thought I’d stayed out there the whole night he’d feel sorry for me. "
All these years later and still nobody feels sorry for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This has completely gone to shit. Does anyone believe that when I was 19 years old I once rolled around in a puddle to wet myself up to pretend to my boyfriend at the time that I’d been outside his mates house waiting for him all night? Does anyone even care?
Course I care !!!!! It’s strange as fuck and I only care cause why the hell would you do that
Cos back then in my young twisted mind I thought that if he thought I’d stayed out there the whole night he’d feel sorry for me.
All these years later and still nobody feels sorry for you "
I don’t need or want anyone to feel sorry for me now. I was a child then, did all sorts of stupid things back then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This has completely gone to shit. Does anyone believe that when I was 19 years old I once rolled around in a puddle to wet myself up to pretend to my boyfriend at the time that I’d been outside his mates house waiting for him all night? Does anyone even care?
Course I care !!!!! It’s strange as fuck and I only care cause why the hell would you do that
Cos back then in my young twisted mind I thought that if he thought I’d stayed out there the whole night he’d feel sorry for me.
All these years later and still nobody feels sorry for you
I don’t need or want anyone to feel sorry for me now. I was a child then, did all sorts of stupid things back then. "
I feel sorry for ye ?? I’ll DM the punch line |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This has completely gone to shit. Does anyone believe that when I was 19 years old I once rolled around in a puddle to wet myself up to pretend to my boyfriend at the time that I’d been outside his mates house waiting for him all night? Does anyone even care?
Course I care !!!!! It’s strange as fuck and I only care cause why the hell would you do that
Cos back then in my young twisted mind I thought that if he thought I’d stayed out there the whole night he’d feel sorry for me.
All these years later and still nobody feels sorry for you
I don’t need or want anyone to feel sorry for me now. I was a child then, did all sorts of stupid things back then.
I feel sorry for ye ?? I’ll DM the punch line "
Waiting for it? Actually I’m sticking my meditation on now to go to sleep. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This has completely gone to shit. Does anyone believe that when I was 19 years old I once rolled around in a puddle to wet myself up to pretend to my boyfriend at the time that I’d been outside his mates house waiting for him all night? Does anyone even care?
Course I care !!!!! It’s strange as fuck and I only care cause why the hell would you do that
Cos back then in my young twisted mind I thought that if he thought I’d stayed out there the whole night he’d feel sorry for me.
All these years later and still nobody feels sorry for you
I don’t need or want anyone to feel sorry for me now. I was a child then, did all sorts of stupid things back then.
I feel sorry for ye ?? I’ll DM the punch line
Waiting for it? Actually I’m sticking my meditation on now to go to sleep. X"
I never said I was quick witted just I was witty as fuck !!!
It takes time ffs !!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like "
Don’t take it personally, it’s his issue not yours, and I’ve noticed it happening with others.
Remember, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like "
It has been noticed, you're not being silly |
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"So many assumptions, here's one, maybe fellas think she's out of their league, in which case possibly he is, it sounds like she wants a fella who can hold his own in the personality stakes, be a gentleman and not use her looks alone as the gauge to meet with her and woo her.
Stick to your guns girl. Hopefully you'll find the man of your dreams soon, if not the one you've had some banter with. "
If a man thinks any woman is out of his league - he’s not man enough for her. My bet is no matter how ‘beautiful’ a woman is - she is still riddled with the same insecurities as everyone else. She still wants to be loved, respected and surprised… Annie if this guy won’t make the running he wouldn’t last the distance anyway xxx |
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"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like "
You weren't being silly. |
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"So many assumptions, here's one, maybe fellas think she's out of their league, in which case possibly he is, it sounds like she wants a fella who can hold his own in the personality stakes, be a gentleman and not use her looks alone as the gauge to meet with her and woo her.
Stick to your guns girl. Hopefully you'll find the man of your dreams soon, if not the one you've had some banter with.
If a man thinks any woman is out of his league - he’s not man enough for her. My bet is no matter how ‘beautiful’ a woman is - she is still riddled with the same insecurities as everyone else. She still wants to be loved, respected and surprised… Annie if this guy won’t make the running he wouldn’t last the distance anyway xxx"
Absolutely this. Thanks for validating the original sentiments.
Old way thinking would say that they won't be interested in us, but new way realisation is that they are human too, they feel things that we all can relate to.
It's the label YOU put on others that will keep you at the starting line, not their response to you. If you see yourself not good enough, how can you expect others to do so?
Still think OP shouldn't bend whats going on in heart
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like
Don’t take it personally, it’s his issue not yours, and I’ve noticed it happening with others.
Remember, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business."
Yes echo this. Ignore it. Like you would a pothole in the road. The incessant questioning speaks volumes about the inquisitor. Don’t let it get you down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like "
Oh It’s my fault now !!!
Your welcome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like
Don’t take it personally, it’s his issue not yours, and I’ve noticed it happening with others.
Remember, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business.
Yes echo this. Ignore it. Like you would a pothole in the road. The incessant questioning speaks volumes about the inquisitor. Don’t let it get you down. "
Makes me feel like I have to defend myself all the time. It’s not even like the experiences I talk about are far fetched. Also him saying people had privately messaged him to say well done for calling out a fake. Makes me like loads of people dislike me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like
Don’t take it personally, it’s his issue not yours, and I’ve noticed it happening with others.
Remember, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business.
Yes echo this. Ignore it. Like you would a pothole in the road. The incessant questioning speaks volumes about the inquisitor. Don’t let it get you down.
Makes me feel like I have to defend myself all the time. It’s not even like the experiences I talk about are far fetched. Also him saying people had privately messaged him to say well done for calling out a fake. Makes me like loads of people dislike me. "
Yep probably!!! Do you care ? Jokes aside ? Look where you are ? Who gives a fuck !
Do you like you always have
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like
Don’t take it personally, it’s his issue not yours, and I’ve noticed it happening with others.
Remember, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business.
Yes echo this. Ignore it. Like you would a pothole in the road. The incessant questioning speaks volumes about the inquisitor. Don’t let it get you down.
Makes me feel like I have to defend myself all the time. It’s not even like the experiences I talk about are far fetched. Also him saying people had privately messaged him to say well done for calling out a fake. Makes me like loads of people dislike me.
Yep probably!!! Do you care ? Jokes aside ? Look where you are ? Who gives a fuck !
Do you like you always have
"
Well yeah I do care cos the constant jibes and antagonising was what led me to delete my account. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
116 replies lol
Just ask the guy for a coffee...worst thing is he says no...Best he says yes
Remember your asking him in private and not in front of all these people in the forums x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like
Don’t take it personally, it’s his issue not yours, and I’ve noticed it happening with others.
Remember, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business.
Yes echo this. Ignore it. Like you would a pothole in the road. The incessant questioning speaks volumes about the inquisitor. Don’t let it get you down.
Makes me feel like I have to defend myself all the time. It’s not even like the experiences I talk about are far fetched. Also him saying people had privately messaged him to say well done for calling out a fake. Makes me like loads of people dislike me.
Yep probably!!! Do you care ? Jokes aside ? Look where you are ? Who gives a fuck !
Do you like you always have
Well yeah I do care cos the constant jibes and antagonising was what led me to delete my account. "
Remember when you celebrated the different way you reacted to being let down by work colleague and didn't kick off? You made a thread or two about it and loads gave you support and encouragement. Well I’d sincerely look at the jibes in the same way. Ignore them, don’t react just read over them like the inconsequential ramblings of a mark that they are. Don’t let their attempts and projecting insecurity and jealousy at you define how you see yourself.
Some people seem to get off on repeatedly belittling or stirring. This is not a healthy kink that belongs on a website like this. Pretending it is some form of anally retentive fact checking or slow minded banter does not hide the fact it is bullying. Plain and simple.
There called it out. We’ll get a ban from Mods now most likely, but fk em. It had to be said.
All the best with your dating OP. Hope 2022 is kind to you. |
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"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like
Don’t take it personally, it’s his issue not yours, and I’ve noticed it happening with others.
Remember, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business.
Yes echo this. Ignore it. Like you would a pothole in the road. The incessant questioning speaks volumes about the inquisitor. Don’t let it get you down.
Makes me feel like I have to defend myself all the time. It’s not even like the experiences I talk about are far fetched. Also him saying people had privately messaged him to say well done for calling out a fake. Makes me like loads of people dislike me. "
Why do you care? Why is any of this so very important to you?
My loved ones love me, the people I like enough to meet up with appear to like me back, everyone else is entirely incidental to my happiness, my sense of self-worth or my self-confidence.
It's nice to be liked but I come on here and am my authentic self. If people don't like that I'm not particularly over arsed. I don't go out of my way to antagonize or stir shit, but I'm not going to tie myself in knots in a wasted effort to be popular online.
If someone is interrogating you it's up to you whether you choose to answer or ignore. If someone dislikes you it's up to you whether you let that impact you. Your power is in your own hands. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like "
No you've not imagined it or exaggerated it. He needs to stop. |
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"When I deleted my account in temper I said to my friend there’s a person on there that outright interrogates me and she was like don’t be so silly. I thought I was exaggerating it but reading all this with fresh eyes this morning I’m like
Don’t take it personally, it’s his issue not yours, and I’ve noticed it happening with others.
Remember, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business.
Yes echo this. Ignore it. Like you would a pothole in the road. The incessant questioning speaks volumes about the inquisitor. Don’t let it get you down.
Makes me feel like I have to defend myself all the time. It’s not even like the experiences I talk about are far fetched. Also him saying people had privately messaged him to say well done for calling out a fake. Makes me like loads of people dislike me.
Yep probably!!! Do you care ? Jokes aside ? Look where you are ? Who gives a fuck !
Do you like you always have
Well yeah I do care cos the constant jibes and antagonising was what led me to delete my account.
Remember when you celebrated the different way you reacted to being let down by work colleague and didn't kick off? You made a thread or two about it and loads gave you support and encouragement. Well I’d sincerely look at the jibes in the same way. Ignore them, don’t react just read over them like the inconsequential ramblings of a mark that they are. Don’t let their attempts and projecting insecurity and jealousy at you define how you see yourself.
Some people seem to get off on repeatedly belittling or stirring. This is not a healthy kink that belongs on a website like this. Pretending it is some form of anally retentive fact checking or slow minded banter does not hide the fact it is bullying. Plain and simple.
There called it out. We’ll get a ban from Mods now most likely, but fk em. It had to be said.
All the best with your dating OP. Hope 2022 is kind to you. "
. Totally agree. |
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"It’s not about being in your feminine, being the pursuer, or anything.
Be authentic, be honest, be real. Own what you want. You can do that whilst staying in your femininity, you can do that in your soft and gentle energy, but just be yourself. All the time you’re trying to be something you’re not, you won’t find what you need.
Authenticity, openness and honesty are the way forward, to find a true partner, who wants you. "
Absolutely this. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Sound like you maybe over analyse things a bit ? And worry about taking risks and being let down ? Just stop thinking abs “go for it” a bit more is my advice , you will learn much much more by a few letdowns and fuckups than analysing what might be |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"It’s not about being in your feminine, being the pursuer, or anything.
Be authentic, be honest, be real. Own what you want. You can do that whilst staying in your femininity, you can do that in your soft and gentle energy, but just be yourself. All the time you’re trying to be something you’re not, you won’t find what you need.
Authenticity, openness and honesty are the way forward, to find a true partner, who wants you.
Absolutely this. "
It’s easy to say , it’s far from easy to do if you are insecure. That kind of generic advice is kind of like buying someone with severe depression a Live Love Laugh picture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not afraid of asking but under no circumstances do I want to be the one that initiates meeting. I don’t want to. It’s masculine energy. It’s something I would’ve done in the past. Feel like this has happened organically without me doing anything other than accept a friend request and basically don’t want to fuck up a potential anything, I don’t even know what to call it as it’s nothing at the moment other than jokey comments and talking about shows. "
Has he been in touch over Christmas? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s not about being in your feminine, being the pursuer, or anything.
Be authentic, be honest, be real. Own what you want. You can do that whilst staying in your femininity, you can do that in your soft and gentle energy, but just be yourself. All the time you’re trying to be something you’re not, you won’t find what you need.
Authenticity, openness and honesty are the way forward, to find a true partner, who wants you.
Absolutely this.
It’s easy to say , it’s far from easy to do if you are insecure. That kind of generic advice is kind of like buying someone with severe depression a Live Love Laugh picture "
You speak from experience? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m not afraid of asking but under no circumstances do I want to be the one that initiates meeting. I don’t want to. It’s masculine energy. It’s something I would’ve done in the past. Feel like this has happened organically without me doing anything other than accept a friend request and basically don’t want to fuck up a potential anything, I don’t even know what to call it as it’s nothing at the moment other than jokey comments and talking about shows.
Has he been in touch over Christmas? "
Not Xmas day or yesterday but today yes. I’ve ramped up the flirting and it’s reciprocated but nothing sexual or too smutty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the least creepy way possible how do you gauge interest/show interest and progress to a being asked to go for a drink or a coffee or whatever?
Context: a social media friend request or follow and you’re dm’ing each other but convo is very casual. Some funnies, some tv series recommendations.
Obviously this is real world so can’t exactly go sending a picture of your tits or your bits and can’t go straight for the jugular and say you want them to ask for your time and company.
Do you just be patient and take the fact that they are responding and messaging as a sign of interest? "
How about just give him the opportunity to ask eg hey might be nice to grab a coffee sometime. Not asking. But gives him the hint to ask (as he may be wanting to but doesn't want to seem "pushy"). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not afraid of asking but under no circumstances do I want to be the one that initiates meeting. I don’t want to. It’s masculine energy. It’s something I would’ve done in the past. Feel like this has happened organically without me doing anything other than accept a friend request and basically don’t want to fuck up a potential anything, I don’t even know what to call it as it’s nothing at the moment other than jokey comments and talking about shows.
Has he been in touch over Christmas?
Not Xmas day or yesterday but today yes. I’ve ramped up the flirting and it’s reciprocated but nothing sexual or too smutty. "
That's good, means he is respectful. |
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