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You wake up in a jail cell…
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"Wiping a crow on a copper " Impersonating the copper that I wiped a crow on | |||
"Wiping a crow on a copper Impersonating the copper that I wiped a crow on"  | |||
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"Indecent exposure" Nicking champagne from the off licence | |||
"Indecent exposure" D and d | |||
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"I’m totally innocent, I have no idea what they did though…" Was sniffing bums | |||
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"Cow tipping " Being d*unk in charge of a stallion in the middle of the High Street. (okay. Horse. But stallion sounds better) | |||
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"Illegally streaming Keeping up with the Kardashians " Painting cocks on the coppers cars | |||
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"Organising a flash mob gangbang in the middle aisle in Lidl" One never shops in Lidl! Scrumping apples! | |||
"Organising a flash mob gangbang in the middle aisle in Lidl One never shops in Lidl! Scrumping apples! " Protending to be the "real" Sants and elves | |||
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"I didn’t do it. Vx" We went to Marlborough and rode the Duke | |||
"I didn’t do it. Vx We went to Marlborough and rode the Duke "And was he ok about that  | |||
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"I didn’t do it. Vx We went to Marlborough and rode the Duke
And was he ok about that "Absolutely not we left him in a right state | |||
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"For indecent exposure on a motorway "Corporate espionage | |||
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"for stealing my tinsel knickers (even wearing them in your pics) "Causing a street brawl because she doesn’t dip her bread. | |||
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"For crunching a cock " Stole a tractor | |||
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"I didn’t do it. Vx We went to Marlborough and rode the Duke
And was he ok about that
Absolutely not we left him in a right state "Hurrah. Vx | |||
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"Throwing eggs and tomatoes at borris Johnson " Exactly this | |||
"Throwing eggs and tomatoes at borris Johnson Exactly this " D*unk and disorder | |||
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"Wanking in the bushes " Public indecency | |||
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"Not sharing the share box of haribos "Nearly took someone’s eye out swinging her baubles x | |||
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"Road rage in asda car park " I’ll be right the with both of you. Asda car park has unleashed my evil side this week | |||
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