FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ladies what should Dad's know so they can raise strong independent ladies
Ladies what should Dad's know so they can raise strong independent ladies
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I think it boils down to this:
1. Raise your children (boys and girls) to respect and embrace each other for the differences.
2.Be a role model for them in the way you treat others, male and female.
3.Explain to them that all genders are equal and should be treated in this way. In this context they will learn that you will accept them for whatever they will turn out to be/ become.
Let them guide you towards their needs - children are only guests who are staying with us for a while - make that stay one of love, warmth and trust. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it boils down to this:
1. Raise your children (boys and girls) to respect and embrace each other for the differences.
2.Be a role model for them in the way you treat others, male and female.
3.Explain to them that all genders are equal and should be treated in this way. In this context they will learn that you will accept them for whatever they will turn out to be/ become.
Let them guide you towards their needs - children are only guests who are staying with us for a while - make that stay one of love, warmth and trust."
All of this!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My Eldest was a tearaway at School... Never wanted to learn.. Now she is a Primary school teacher with 3 years experience.. All we ever told her was to follow your dreams and we would support her in whatever way possible. My youngest.. Bright girl.. Never wanted or asked for anything.. We would ferry her around everywhere.. She followed her dream.. Place with her bf and their puppy.. Guess it boils down to just letting them come to you with their problems and just being their Mum and Dad |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A father should teach a female child what to look out for in men, call them out, to stand her ground and not be intimidated by them.
For every sleazy guy who has weaseled his way into a females pants and subjected her to do thing she was not comfortable with but thought "well he likes me I should do it"..
Teach her how to spot them first.
Teach her how to protect herself from them.
Teach her to be strong and independent and not afraid of make intimidation.
She can be whatever she wants to be, a plumber, gas fitter, footballer, scientist!
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it boils down to this:
1. Raise your children (boys and girls) to respect and embrace each other for the differences.
2.Be a role model for them in the way you treat others, male and female.
3.Explain to them that all genders are equal and should be treated in this way. In this context they will learn that you will accept them for whatever they will turn out to be/ become.
Let them guide you towards their needs - children are only guests who are staying with us for a while - make that stay one of love, warmth and trust."
 this! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Self respect
Self love
Independence
Respect
Morals
Empathy
How to change a car tyre "
I taught myself to change a tyre and car battery.
My dad showed me how to wire a plug, dig over a 100ft by 50ft garden and paint a window frame. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Self respect
Self love
Independence
Respect
Morals
Empathy
How to change a car tyre
I taught myself to change a tyre and car battery.
My dad showed me how to wire a plug, dig over a 100ft by 50ft garden and paint a window frame."
He did well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A father should teach a female child what to look out for in men, call them out, to stand her ground and not be intimidated by them.
For every sleazy guy who has weaseled his way into a females pants and subjected her to do thing she was not comfortable with but thought "well he likes me I should do it"..
Teach her how to spot them first.
Teach her how to protect herself from them."
Actually this doesn't address the fact that men attack women and rather feeds the victim blaming... I would suggest that focus should be on educating all male children on how to resist urges, how to not attack and use their power /position. How to deal well with rejection. How to empathise with the monthly hormonal changes that happen to females. How to be a responsible contributing member of the family structure and wider society |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Raise them so they can tell you anything, knowing that they are safe. That you will have their backs, you may not have the solutions all the time. But you will always seek them with them.
Be their safe place so that when things go wrong they know exactly who to turn to.
This applies for all care givers and children. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Teach them all of the above but also that a strong independent woman isn't the one who can shout the loudest or looks down on others.
As the father of 3 strong independent women and having worked for one for more than 20 years it's all reflected in how you treat others.
You can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it. You don't have to walk over others to reach your goals and if you have to remind people that you are strong and independent then you are failing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
Not to bugger off when they were little and make empty promise after empty promise for most of there childhood, to answer there questions with an open mind and to not take the piss out of there mother!
Just for clarity I am a strong, independent woman because my mother raised me to take no shit.
I will add that mothers aren’t saints some are absent from there childrens life’s just as fathers are - I’m simply saying that any parent who disowns there child deserves everything that’s coming to them x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A father should teach a female child what to look out for in men, call them out, to stand her ground and not be intimidated by them.
For every sleazy guy who has weaseled his way into a females pants and subjected her to do thing she was not comfortable with but thought "well he likes me I should do it"..
Teach her how to spot them first.
Teach her how to protect herself from them.
Actually this doesn't address the fact that men attack women and rather feeds the victim blaming... I would suggest that focus should be on educating all male children on how to resist urges, how to not attack and use their power /position. How to deal well with rejection. How to empathise with the monthly hormonal changes that happen to females. How to be a responsible contributing member of the family structure and wider society "
In an ideal world no one would have to take precautions in anything. However this isn’t an ideal world and absolutely women should take precautions to help keep themselves safe.
You can teach a boy all you want not to attack a women but they will still make the choice to do right or wrong, the same as any other criminal.
It’s not victim blaming, it’s self preservation. If you know that xyz heightens your risk to fall victim, surely you would absolutely take precautions. It’s not to say you are then to blame for what happens, an abuser will always find a way and it solely on them the destruction they cause. But to suggest women shouldn’t at least try to learn how to protect themselves as a precaution is strange to me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not to bugger off when they were little and make empty promise after empty promise for most of there childhood, to answer there questions with an open mind and to not take the piss out of there mother!
Just for clarity I am a strong, independent woman because my mother raised me to take no shit.
I will add that mothers aren’t saints some are absent from there childrens life’s just as fathers are - I’m simply saying that any parent who disowns there child deserves everything that’s coming to them x"
Amen to the disowning. My father's entire side of the family disowned me. It completely devastated me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not to bugger off when they were little and make empty promise after empty promise for most of there childhood, to answer there questions with an open mind and to not take the piss out of there mother!
Just for clarity I am a strong, independent woman because my mother raised me to take no shit.
I will add that mothers aren’t saints some are absent from there childrens life’s just as fathers are - I’m simply saying that any parent who disowns there child deserves everything that’s coming to them x
Amen to the disowning. My father's entire side of the family disowned me. It completely devastated me. "
Yep my mom's family did the same when my mom left my dad. I was 11 and couldn't understand what I'd done wrong. NOTHING was the answer I was just caught up in a messy divorce. Therapy taught me I wasn't to blame, not either of my parents.
Just always be there for them, always be approachable and love without condition x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Praise their personalities not their looks.
Remember you are a role model for the relationships they have with men, good and bad its what they learn to know.
Remember that they will learn some things by trial and error, be kind and forgiving.
Give them space to be brave and challenging so they learn to be confident
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just to follow on from my post.
The greatest power you can give a girl/women is education.
Educate how a predator will lure victims, arm women with the tools they need to be able to spot the signs and know the strategies. Also give them the confidence and self belief they deserve better (especially in DV).
But also the knowledge, you can do everything possible to protect yourself but still fall victim.
Knowledge and taking precautions aren’t victim blaming. The blame still solely goes to the predator. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
"Not to bugger off when they were little and make empty promise after empty promise for most of there childhood, to answer there questions with an open mind and to not take the piss out of there mother!
Just for clarity I am a strong, independent woman because my mother raised me to take no shit.
I will add that mothers aren’t saints some are absent from there childrens life’s just as fathers are - I’m simply saying that any parent who disowns there child deserves everything that’s coming to them x
Amen to the disowning. My father's entire side of the family disowned me. It completely devastated me. "
I can totally understand this, I’m 37 and still have unanswered questions but I have come to terms with the fact that he is absent from my life, perhaps he is happy in that, perhaps he too wonders sometimes, it’s something I will never know. No child should ever have to seek explanation, or blame themselves for a situation out with there control. He simply didn’t have the words (or balls) it messed me up as a teenager but I have come out the other side appreciating those who raised me and realising that some people just don’t deserve me and that’s ok xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not to bugger off when they were little and make empty promise after empty promise for most of there childhood, to answer there questions with an open mind and to not take the piss out of there mother!
Just for clarity I am a strong, independent woman because my mother raised me to take no shit.
I will add that mothers aren’t saints some are absent from there childrens life’s just as fathers are - I’m simply saying that any parent who disowns there child deserves everything that’s coming to them x
Amen to the disowning. My father's entire side of the family disowned me. It completely devastated me.
I can totally understand this, I’m 37 and still have unanswered questions but I have come to terms with the fact that he is absent from my life, perhaps he is happy in that, perhaps he too wonders sometimes, it’s something I will never know. No child should ever have to seek explanation, or blame themselves for a situation out with there control. He simply didn’t have the words (or balls) it messed me up as a teenager but I have come out the other side appreciating those who raised me and realising that some people just don’t deserve me and that’s ok xx"
I still have unanswered questions and I now accept that will always be the way. I am strong and independent because I had to be. Having family that supported me would have made my life so much easier.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
). And I have raised them to understand the importance of financial independence, and not in future depending on anyone else for money. I don’t want them to ever be in a position where they feel there’s no way out. So many women end up in dead-end marriages/relationships because of lack of options, and I feel heart sorry for them.
Hopefully they will end up emotionally intelligent, treat others well, and generally be the best people they can be.
If the start of the holidays is anything to go by - with the constant fucking squabbling - then we’re quite some way off yet 
