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Family problem at Christmas
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By *ick1f OP Man
over a year ago
Chichester/Aldershot |
Morning everyone please don't shoot me down for putting a bummer on the yule time i know we are all struggling but I'm watching my mum in tears because she can't send her youngest granddaughter a card and presents on which will probably be her last Christmas because my ex has told her not to give out her address
Does anyone know of a private detective or any tips |
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I'm pretty sure unless you've been deemed dangerous then you have the right to know where they are and how to contact them.
If they're over 18 though and you've had no reason to not be allowed to legally contact them, as adults it's up to them to tell you their new address. |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"Are you trying to say that nobody knows where your ex has moved to?
My ex has told everyone she knows not to give out her address "
Everyone has the address but you? If that is the case why not give the card and present to a friend of hers to forward on for you mother? |
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By *ick1f OP Man
over a year ago
Chichester/Aldershot |
"I'm pretty sure unless you've been deemed dangerous then you have the right to know where they are and how to contact them.
If they're over 18 though and you've had no reason to not be allowed to legally contact them, as adults it's up to them to tell you their new address."
Thanks
Yes she is over 18 so I know it is her choice I just wanted to cheer up my mum I guess daughters will always side with their mums |
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She is over 18 not a baby.
She can contact you if she wants.
I wish you and your family the best of Christmases but don't think anyone should help you to seek out your ex who clearly wants to be left alone.
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Heartbreaking! I didnt see one of my granddaughters for 9 years from age 11 to 20 ! She had turned into a young lady when I finally got to see her! I know it's not much help but I got a box and put her exmas and birthday cards pressies in it each year just little pressies and finally gave her them! And as I hadn't been able to give her money etc over those years I paid for her to have driving lessons to make up booked a block lot of lessons! She is 25 now x |
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I didn't speak to my Dad for several years. If he'd have tracked me down using a private detective, this would have been a massive breach of my privacy. And I would never have spoken to him again ever. And I would have felt that using your mother's age as manipulation at that age.
I would take the present from your mother, maybe ask her to write your daughter a letter for when she decides to contact you. |
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By *ick1f OP Man
over a year ago
Chichester/Aldershot |
"You don't have the address either I guess.
As your daughter is over 18 you and your mum will have to respect her wishes regardless of whether they're ill informed of not.
"
Very true which is why I won't pursue it any further thanks for help |
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"I'm pretty sure unless you've been deemed dangerous then you have the right to know where they are and how to contact them.
If they're over 18 though and you've had no reason to not be allowed to legally contact them, as adults it's up to them to tell you their new address.
Thanks
Yes she is over 18 so I know it is her choice I just wanted to cheer up my mum I guess daughters will always side with their mums "
Not wanting to detract from your problem, but daughters don't always side with their mums at all. I have a relationship with my dad but not my mum, even though it was him that left the "family" home. I was 17 then though so could see the toxicity and had endured a strained relationship with my mum for years by that point myself.
I feel for you, I really do. All you can do is allow time and open arms if she decides she wants a relationship with you. |
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By *ick1f OP Man
over a year ago
Chichester/Aldershot |
"I'm pretty sure unless you've been deemed dangerous then you have the right to know where they are and how to contact them.
If they're over 18 though and you've had no reason to not be allowed to legally contact them, as adults it's up to them to tell you their new address.
Thanks
Yes she is over 18 so I know it is her choice I just wanted to cheer up my mum I guess daughters will always side with their mums
Not wanting to detract from your problem, but daughters don't always side with their mums at all. I have a relationship with my dad but not my mum, even though it was him that left the "family" home. I was 17 then though so could see the toxicity and had endured a strained relationship with my mum for years by that point myself.
I feel for you, I really do. All you can do is allow time and open arms if she decides she wants a relationship with you."
I have a good relationship with her I dont see her often and I dont really need her address it was just my mum asked her and she said she can't give her address |
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"I'm pretty sure unless you've been deemed dangerous then you have the right to know where they are and how to contact them.
If they're over 18 though and you've had no reason to not be allowed to legally contact them, as adults it's up to them to tell you their new address.
Thanks
Yes she is over 18 so I know it is her choice I just wanted to cheer up my mum I guess daughters will always side with their mums
Not wanting to detract from your problem, but daughters don't always side with their mums at all. I have a relationship with my dad but not my mum, even though it was him that left the "family" home. I was 17 then though so could see the toxicity and had endured a strained relationship with my mum for years by that point myself.
I feel for you, I really do. All you can do is allow time and open arms if she decides she wants a relationship with you.
I have a good relationship with her I dont see her often and I dont really need her address it was just my mum asked her and she said she can't give her address "
Oh jeez, it sounded from your original post that things were totally detached with you considering hiring a private detective.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can she not have it delivered to a pickup point near your daughter? There's so many options... Amazon lockers, InPost lockers, Hermes Parcelshops to name a few. I'm pretty sure you can also have things delivered for pickup to Post Offices. |
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I think if the adult daughter/ granddaughter has said she doesn't want to give her address and therefore has no wish to receive a card or present her wishes should be respected.
Op aren't you exchanging gifts with your daughter? |
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By *ick1f OP Man
over a year ago
Chichester/Aldershot |
"Can she not have it delivered to a pickup point near your daughter? There's so many options... Amazon lockers, InPost lockers, Hermes Parcelshops to name a few. I'm pretty sure you can also have things delivered for pickup to Post Offices. "
Great idea thank you but she won't even tell my mum the area where she lives |
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By *ick1f OP Man
over a year ago
Chichester/Aldershot |
"I think if the adult daughter/ granddaughter has said she doesn't want to give her address and therefore has no wish to receive a card or present her wishes should be respected.
Op aren't you exchanging gifts with your daughter? "
She would love a gift from us all but we have no way of getting it to her I won't be seeing her at Christmas as its to far for her to travel |
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"I think if the adult daughter/ granddaughter has said she doesn't want to give her address and therefore has no wish to receive a card or present her wishes should be respected.
Op aren't you exchanging gifts with your daughter?
She would love a gift from us all but we have no way of getting it to her I won't be seeing her at Christmas as its to far for her to travel "
Well I'm sorry for the situation you all find yourselves in. |
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By *ick1f OP Man
over a year ago
Chichester/Aldershot |
"I think if the adult daughter/ granddaughter has said she doesn't want to give her address and therefore has no wish to receive a card or present her wishes should be respected.
Op aren't you exchanging gifts with your daughter?
She would love a gift from us all but we have no way of getting it to her I won't be seeing her at Christmas as its to far for her to travel
Well I'm sorry for the situation you all find yourselves in. "
Oh well as they say it happens
I wish you all a merry Christmas |
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