FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What do you think of me?
What do you think of me?
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
It’s been a little while since I posted this thread, so let’s bring a moment of self reflection, introspection and non reactive thought about others to the forums, as it can be helpful.
It might seem a strange idea but at it’s heart is the intent for us to be more rounded and understanding people.
Self reflection is an important tool in understanding what, why and how we act but so is how others honestly see us.
Post that you’re in on the thread, then respond to others via private message with honest opinions about people. Not nasty, not sycophantic, honest appraisals of how you feel about them, this isn’t a chance to try to ‘get in’ with that hottie, this should be a self improvement exercise.
The intent is to honestly see how others view us, if you give criticism, then please be constructive with it. Remember to be kind folks. Let’s see how this goes...
Remember to respect filters, if you can’t directly message someone, then don’t post it on the thread, it’s meant to be private and personal.
Please also do send messages, passivity only lessens the interaction and those that often complain about not receiving messages, also tend to be the ones that didn’t send any.
Away you go folks |
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This seems an interesting thread. I'm in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in... Always good to have a reflective moment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I'm working on a better me outside fab so any thoughts on me in here would be greatly appreciated. I'll see who joins in and if I've anything constructive to offer.  |
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I’ll have a mooch and a ponder  |
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It's been a long time. I'll have a go.
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go on then, I'm in.. go easy on me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in. Honesty please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not?
I’m in op.
*and before you start… you’re all wrong.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’re in. Be as brutal as you want. We can take it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok, I’m game |
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Haven’t done this for a while, so I’m in.
Off to see if I can offer anything constructive to those above |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I'm in for a bit, going to think of what to send. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We will join in. M and N xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll join throughout the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm all ears |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not?
I’m in op.
*and before you start… you’re all wrong. "
Haha what if I said you're sexy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not?
I’m in op.
*and before you start… you’re all wrong. "
That saves me one wasted effort.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, why not
I'm in |
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I'll be in popping in and out through out the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll peek in on this thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not?
I’m in op.
*and before you start… you’re all wrong.
That saves me one wasted effort.. "
Just one? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not?
I’m in op.
*and before you start… you’re all wrong.
Haha what if I said you're sexy?"
Erm……*damn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not?
I’m in op.
*and before you start… you’re all wrong.
That saves me one wasted effort..
Just one? "
At least one certain. There is still hope we aren't all sitting on our hands waiting for messages from others but not writing any ourselves |
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"Why not?
I’m in op.
*and before you start… you’re all wrong.
That saves me one wasted effort..
Just one?
At least one certain. There is still hope we aren't all sitting on our hands waiting for messages from others but not writing any ourselves"
Isent and received a couple xx always room for more if anyone wants to x |
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I am in and have a few things to say
Send away you know I encourage free thinking and welcome honesty x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, why not
I'm in "
Not sure what I'm in for though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no filters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no filters"
For people to message you or for you to say what you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no filters
For people to message you or for you to say what you think? "
Both  |
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Sent one or two. Good deed done for the day |
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Interesting idea, count me in.
MJ x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Feeling brave let’s see |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in |
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Bump. Had lovely messages that surprised me but very grateful.
You should be proud of yourself for doing this OP |
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I like to know what people think, feedback is good |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Compliment or criticize away |
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Do you have to be in to message others? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I've never taken part in this before, but why not |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Do you have to be in to message others? "
If you read the OP, it explains everything |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
Okay, I'll give this a go.
Written communication is pants compared to a face to face interaction, so any feedback is gratefully accepted. (and sometimes acted upon!).
Gbat |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Do you have to be in to message others? "
No you don't. I've messaged before and not said I'm in, I think being in is an invite for others to message you. |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Do you have to be in to message others?
No you don't. I've messaged before and not said I'm in, I think being in is an invite for others to message you."
In fairness, that's not what the OP has asked people to do. He specifically asks people to declare themselves "in."
However, as he seems quite an inclusive guy, I expect you could get away with it!!!
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds fun to me. I’m keen on knowing how I come across x |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Do you have to be in to message others?
No you don't. I've messaged before and not said I'm in, I think being in is an invite for others to message you.
In fairness, that's not what the OP has asked people to do. He specifically asks people to declare themselves "in."
However, as he seems quite an inclusive guy, I expect you could get away with it!!!
Gbat "
Ha, I could get away with it and have done before. Not yet caused offence by doing so. He's quite an inclusive, relatively laid back person as well so that definitely helps the flagrant disregard for his OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Feel free.... Eeek.... "
@swingersroundaboutus
You are such a hot woman.. I really like you and yours! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whoops sorry for my slow follow ups!! Am on it now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in. Always open to feedback and understanding how I come across to other people. Would love some honest, constructive feedback  |
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Put me in for it. Filters are open. |
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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago
Newcastle-under-Lyme |
I’m in please. Will remove filters temporarily. |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
Never been brave enough to join this thread.
Until now.
I’m in!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That was enlightening 
I'm out. I did a few this morning. If I have chance later I'll do some more.
For now, my santa suit goes on for delivering presents. |
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Uurgh!... I'm in.
But I'm not sure what I'm in for! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Might regret it..... but I'm in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In. I shall switch off my passive button specially for this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never been brave enough to join this thread.
Until now.
I’m in! "
I know right? I feel exposed….which shouldn’t be a bad thing on here |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I’ll join in for a bit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In for bit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks for all mine. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"It’s been a little while since I posted this thread, so let’s bring a moment of self reflection, introspection and non reactive thought about others to the forums, as it can be helpful.
It might seem a strange idea but at it’s heart is the intent for us to be more rounded and understanding people.
Self reflection is an important tool in understanding what, why and how we act but so is how others honestly see us.
Post that you’re in on the thread, then respond to others via private message with honest opinions about people. Not nasty, not sycophantic, honest appraisals of how you feel about them, this isn’t a chance to try to ‘get in’ with that hottie, this should be a self improvement exercise.
The intent is to honestly see how others view us, if you give criticism, then please be constructive with it. Remember to be kind folks. Let’s see how this goes...
Remember to respect filters, if you can’t directly message someone, then don’t post it on the thread, it’s meant to be private and personal.
Please also do send messages, passivity only lessens the interaction and those that often complain about not receiving messages, also tend to be the ones that didn’t send any.
Away you go folks"
Honestly…… gave up caring what people thought of me on here year’s ago!
Just concentrate on being the best “you”….. that is what brings the most contentment….
Everything else is head fuck territory… and life is not worth sweating over the small stuff |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I'm interested, haven't done this in a while, so I'm in. |
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By *91kMan
over a year ago
Maidstone |
Constructive criticism is a good thing, it helps us to better ourselves. So if any of you feel like it then go ahead and do your worst  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"It’s been a little while since I posted this thread, so let’s bring a moment of self reflection, introspection and non reactive thought about others to the forums, as it can be helpful.
It might seem a strange idea but at it’s heart is the intent for us to be more rounded and understanding people.
Self reflection is an important tool in understanding what, why and how we act but so is how others honestly see us.
Post that you’re in on the thread, then respond to others via private message with honest opinions about people. Not nasty, not sycophantic, honest appraisals of how you feel about them, this isn’t a chance to try to ‘get in’ with that hottie, this should be a self improvement exercise.
The intent is to honestly see how others view us, if you give criticism, then please be constructive with it. Remember to be kind folks. Let’s see how this goes...
Remember to respect filters, if you can’t directly message someone, then don’t post it on the thread, it’s meant to be private and personal.
Please also do send messages, passivity only lessens the interaction and those that often complain about not receiving messages, also tend to be the ones that didn’t send any.
Away you go folks
Honestly…… gave up caring what people thought of me on here year’s ago!
Just concentrate on being the best “you”….. that is what brings the most contentment….
Everything else is head fuck territory… and life is not worth sweating over the small stuff "
Ask those that matter to you , or if you have the right relationships they will just tell you without you having to ask!!!  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Everything else is head fuck territory… and life is not worth sweating over the small stuff "
Wise words Fabio, very wise.
Sometimes it's nice, interesting or whatever to read others perceptions but the most important are always those who mean something to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Honestly…… gave up caring what people thought of me on here year’s ago!
Just concentrate on being the best “you”….. that is what brings the most contentment….
Everything else is head fuck territory… and life is not worth sweating over the small stuff "
Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes can be enlightening |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"It’s been a little while since I posted this thread, so let’s bring a moment of self reflection, introspection and non reactive thought about others to the forums, as it can be helpful.
It might seem a strange idea but at it’s heart is the intent for us to be more rounded and understanding people.
Self reflection is an important tool in understanding what, why and how we act but so is how others honestly see us.
Post that you’re in on the thread, then respond to others via private message with honest opinions about people. Not nasty, not sycophantic, honest appraisals of how you feel about them, this isn’t a chance to try to ‘get in’ with that hottie, this should be a self improvement exercise.
The intent is to honestly see how others view us, if you give criticism, then please be constructive with it. Remember to be kind folks. Let’s see how this goes...
Remember to respect filters, if you can’t directly message someone, then don’t post it on the thread, it’s meant to be private and personal.
Please also do send messages, passivity only lessens the interaction and those that often complain about not receiving messages, also tend to be the ones that didn’t send any.
Away you go folks
Honestly…… gave up caring what people thought of me on here year’s ago!
Just concentrate on being the best “you”….. that is what brings the most contentment….
Everything else is head fuck territory… and life is not worth sweating over the small stuff "
I always find it a little odd when people say that they don’t care what people think on here. If that’s the case, then why post or be on here at all? If that were truly the case then you’d just write notes and leave them around your house.
The point of the exercise is to see how we come across to others, how that matches with how we see ourselves and where the differences are.
It’s an exercise is self awareness, not so much in what others say but what you’re putting out to others |
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I’ve had some goods ones (thank you) and quite frankly some terrible ones (thank you again) |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
I always find it a little odd when people say that they don’t care what people think on here. If that’s the case, then why post or be on here at all? If that were truly the case then you’d just write notes and leave them around your house.
The point of the exercise is to see how we come across to others, how that matches with how we see ourselves and where the differences are.
It’s an exercise is self awareness, not so much in what others say but what you’re putting out to others"
See… this is why I put what I put.. bear with me…
You make call it self awareness, but I would say that from being something that is close to being the real you, the more changes you make based on the “perception” you think others have takes you further and further away from being the true you…
From someone with their own unique quirks, be them good or bad… to being like someone else and being more and more bland, being more “fake” and basically being an alter ego putting on a show that makes you look good…..
Embrace the differences rather than criticising them…. Not everyone is going to be sugar puff sweet, not everyone is going to like everyone, it’s like people want to take the real life out of real life……
And the beauty of this place is not everyone is wanting or looking for the same thing, so what people are putting out as you say, some people will like are much as some will say “not for me” and it helps us make decisions on who we may want or not want to meet!
And with mental health being such an issue, this just screams “head/mind fuck” and with all the other things we have to deal with in life…. This is one people create they really don’t need to
Work on the big stuff.. don’t sweat the small stuff!
You ask why people are here if they don’t care what others think…. I would say it’s the different between looking to play to a big audience…. As opposed to looking to play to a specific audience!!!
Too many people thing the bigger audience is the objective… I would say the bigger the audience you try to play to, the thinner you are actually spreading yourself! |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"
I always find it a little odd when people say that they don’t care what people think on here. If that’s the case, then why post or be on here at all? If that were truly the case then you’d just write notes and leave them around your house.
The point of the exercise is to see how we come across to others, how that matches with how we see ourselves and where the differences are.
It’s an exercise is self awareness, not so much in what others say but what you’re putting out to others
See… this is why I put what I put.. bear with me…
You make call it self awareness, but I would say that from being something that is close to being the real you, the more changes you make based on the “perception” you think others have takes you further and further away from being the true you…
From someone with their own unique quirks, be them good or bad… to being like someone else and being more and more bland, being more “fake” and basically being an alter ego putting on a show that makes you look good…..
Embrace the differences rather than criticising them…. Not everyone is going to be sugar puff sweet, not everyone is going to like everyone, it’s like people want to take the real life out of real life……
And the beauty of this place is not everyone is wanting or looking for the same thing, so what people are putting out as you say, some people will like are much as some will say “not for me” and it helps us make decisions on who we may want or not want to meet!
And with mental health being such an issue, this just screams “head/mind fuck” and with all the other things we have to deal with in life…. This is one people create they really don’t need to
Work on the big stuff.. don’t sweat the small stuff!
You ask why people are here if they don’t care what others think…. I would say it’s the different between looking to play to a big audience…. As opposed to looking to play to a specific audience!!!
Too many people thing the bigger audience is the objective… I would say the bigger the audience you try to play to, the thinner you are actually spreading yourself! "
You’re looking at this from the view of playing to the crowd, it’s the opposite, it’s about self awareness and personal growth. From a mental health stance, what’s better than understanding yourself?
I don’t think that you’re actually understanding the point but that’s ok, you don’t need to take part |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In |
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Yeah I remember doing this before. I'm in. |
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I’m interested to see where this goes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in, honest me and my profile away...  |
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I’m in, what’s the worst that could happen? |
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So, from the responses I've had I could plot this on a Venn Diagram. There are some commonalities and some distinctions.
Thankfully nothing too bad, ish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A real positive thread op. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go for it, count me in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A really interesting thread and experience. Thanks OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ooh, this could be interesting. I’m in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m definitely in |
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This could be enlightening, I'm in |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I've come to the conclusion no one actually thinks of me! Or they've just not changed their mind about me in the last 6 months..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So far only comments pertaining to looks. Fingers crossed for something a little deeper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've come to the conclusion no one actually thinks of me! Or they've just not changed their mind about me in the last 6 months....."
I'll get banned if I tell you exactly what I think of you and what I want to do with you |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I've come to the conclusion no one actually thinks of me! Or they've just not changed their mind about me in the last 6 months.....
I'll get banned if I tell you exactly what I think of you and what I want to do with you "
Gosh. Is it that bad? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no opinion |
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If this is still going on I'm in, and if it's not still going on then I'm just sending random messages telling people what I think of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yea go on then I'm in, nothing else to do at 01:22am haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds good to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in why not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm In.... |
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Go on then, in.
I'm really never quite sure how other people take me. |
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I'm in, I could use some insight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s been a little while since I posted this thread, so let’s bring a moment of self reflection, introspection and non reactive thought about others to the forums, as it can be helpful.
It might seem a strange idea but at it’s heart is the intent for us to be more rounded and understanding people.
Self reflection is an important tool in understanding what, why and how we act but so is how others honestly see us.
Post that you’re in on the thread, then respond to others via private message with honest opinions about people. Not nasty, not sycophantic, honest appraisals of how you feel about them, this isn’t a chance to try to ‘get in’ with that hottie, this should be a self improvement exercise.
The intent is to honestly see how others view us, if you give criticism, then please be constructive with it. Remember to be kind folks. Let’s see how this goes...
Remember to respect filters, if you can’t directly message someone, then don’t post it on the thread, it’s meant to be private and personal.
Please also do send messages, passivity only lessens the interaction and those that often complain about not receiving messages, also tend to be the ones that didn’t send any.
Away you go folks"
Definitely I’m in |
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Well I only got one reply to this and my reply to that is : I’m afraid that is not what my arse is for sorry lol |
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"Well I only got one reply to this and my reply to that is : I’m afraid that is not what my arse is for sorry lol "
Haha, mine was similar but then I suspect I joined after the thread had ended. I sent a few out which I hope were well received |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Well I only got one reply to this and my reply to that is : I’m afraid that is not what my arse is for sorry lol
Haha, mine was similar but then I suspect I joined after the thread had ended. I sent a few out which I hope were well received "
The thread hasn’t ended, you just might find that it takes longer to get replies |
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"Well I only got one reply to this and my reply to that is : I’m afraid that is not what my arse is for sorry lol
Haha, mine was similar but then I suspect I joined after the thread had ended. I sent a few out which I hope were well received
The thread hasn’t ended, you just might find that it takes longer to get replies"
I'm always late for these things but I do like the opportunity to message people I perhaps wouldn't otherwise interact with so it all works out well! |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
Here's a quick Straw Poll.
I sent out five and had three acknowledgements.
One person didn't respond but has altered their profile to fit in with the feedback I gave them.
One couple has opened the message I sent but nothing more to my knowledge.
One person (from the three acknowledgments) gave me some feedback.
All in all, a reasonably successful thread I suppose!
If you recognise yourself from any of the people listed above, and you'd like to talk it over more, please don't hesitate to drop me a line.
Cheers,
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From someone who works in mental health, I'm liking this thread ...I'm in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm still here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m kinda in x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
I got a lovely message yesterday-to which I still have to reply!
In again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah, go on then. Bored in work for my last night shift of the year. I'm in.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
Late to the thread as normal |
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Well, this has certainly confirm what I already believed. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
I'm in but... Please be kind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in |
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"In."
Nero is a Posh Twat but alright I suppose |
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"In."
He's a necromancer is what I think! ^^^
J |
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"In."
You like coffee and some questionable cake choices |
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"In.
Nero is a Posh Twat but alright I suppose "
Grumpy you are a flirt with a twisted sense of humour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I’m kinda interested to know.. I’m in |
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"In."
Have you been trawling the archive Nero? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll brave it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go on I'm in |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"In.
Have you been trawling the archive Nero? "
Nero has to make friends somehow |
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"In.
Have you been trawling the archive Nero?
Nero has to make friends somehow "
Very true |
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"In.
Have you been trawling the archive Nero? "
Now is your chance ladies lol |
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I’m sensing Littlebird has quality taste in music, loves a good guitar so and may have visited Spike ( Speke) Island |
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"I’m sensing Littlebird has quality taste in music, loves a good guitar so and may have visited Spike ( Speke) Island "
You may be right |
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"In.
Nero is a Posh Twat but alright I suppose
Grumpy you are a flirt with a twisted sense of humour "
A fair summary |
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"I’m sensing Littlebird has quality taste in music, loves a good guitar so and may have visited Spike ( Speke) Island
You may be right "
Littlebird you are my kinda Bird but you already know that |
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"In."
Thread reviver extraordinaire
Tinder |
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"In.
Have you been trawling the archive Nero?
Nero has to make friends somehow
Very true "
The man with the shoes wants your views |
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"I’m sensing Littlebird has quality taste in music, loves a good guitar so and may have visited Spike ( Speke) Island
You may be right
Littlebird you are my kinda Bird but you already know that "
I do… and the feeling is mutual. You’re my kinda bird too |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"I’m sensing Littlebird has quality taste in music, loves a good guitar so and may have visited Spike ( Speke) Island
You may be right
Littlebird you are my kinda Bird but you already know that "
I feel sick, Grumpys flirting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuckin hell Nero, that's quite a resurrection!
In |
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"In.
Have you been trawling the archive Nero?
Nero has to make friends somehow
Very true
The man with the shoes wants your views"
He’s already aware that I would  |
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"Fuckin hell Nero, that's quite a resurrection!
In "
Littlebird is the resurrection. According to her status, anyway. 
J |
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"Fuckin hell Nero, that's quite a resurrection!
In
Littlebird is the resurrection. According to her status, anyway.
J"
Maybe under the right circumstances she could be Sally and a waterfall |
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