My stepmum has bought her three dogs stockings off Santa for Christmas. In spite of my roundly mocking such behaviour I now understand this is in no way unusual, so for anyone else who gives their pets presents from Santa I have questions and I'd love your opinion.
Is the Santa who provides these goodies a human Santa or does each animal have their own animal Santa? Are there millions of different insect Santas? Did dinosaur Santa die with the rest of the dinosaurs (and how the hell did T-Rex Santa wrap those presents with those tiny T-Rex arms)? Do cat Santa and dog Santa chase each other round the house while delivering presents?
If animal Santas aren't feasible (how on earth would donkey Santa get down the chimney to provide gifts for donkeys?) then are all animals covered by human Santa?
If, say, the Santa covering reindeer is a human does that mean he knew all about the other reindeer bullying Rudolph (he knows who is on the naughty list and bullying is pretty naughty) and did nothing to stop it even though they were all his reindeer and he could've stepped in at any point?
It's possible I'm over thinking this.
Anyway, merry christmas.  |
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By *egoMan
over a year ago
Preston |
Our dogs always have Christmas presents.
They don’t know who it’s from specifically, therefore it’s their Santa.
Benefit of them having Christmas presents is it distracts them while the rest of the family can open their presents. |
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"Are you OK OP? Do you need some company? I'll bring the pup and maybe a book to write your thoughts down on   "
In fairness I have far weirder thoughts I don't share. 
I'd never say no to a visit from a pup though! |
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"Animals don't celebrate Christmas, they have their own holidays. Dogs celebrate woofmas, cats have purrmas. Worms have an annual slime festival. They all think that people are really weird."
In my case they probably have a point.
I can't deny it, the annual slime festival appeals. |
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"This got me thinking, what does turkey Santa do!? All the turkeys are in the over Christmas Eve, or sat in the counter with stuffing up their arses. "
Clearly every turkey has been very naughty indeed. Unless they wished to have their arse stuffed, in which case turkey Santa was just giving them what they want.
He made his list and checked it twice, no room for mistakes in the turkey Santa household. |
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"There is a Santa of dogs and also a Death of dogs.
They also have a Tooth Fairy."
Is dog Santa human or canine though?
I have so many questions about dog tooth fairy. I love the idea but I worry if my dog had found a pound coin in his bed he'd have probably chewed it, shattering more teeth in the process. He was strictly decorative, not much on the brain front, and I say that as someone who loved him very dearly. |
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"Our dogs always have Christmas presents.
They don’t know who it’s from specifically, therefore it’s their Santa.
Benefit of them having Christmas presents is it distracts them while the rest of the family can open their presents. "
I used to buy my dog a doggy Christmas dinner in a tin from Sainsbury's. He loved it because he thought he was getting human food, but we really had to watch his portions or he'd make himself ill. About right for Christmas.
I never bought him a Christmas present though, even though he was a very good boy every single year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have given our cat several Christmas presents early.
She does have a little stocking but we haven't written on the label because she can't read so she won't know whether it's from Santa or not. |
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"We have given our cat several Christmas presents early.
She does have a little stocking but we haven't written on the label because she can't read so she won't know whether it's from Santa or not. "
Good plan, don't want to confuse her. What if she told older neighbourhood cats she had a present from Santa and they all started teasing her? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have given our cat several Christmas presents early.
She does have a little stocking but we haven't written on the label because she can't read so she won't know whether it's from Santa or not.
Good plan, don't want to confuse her. What if she told older neighbourhood cats she had a present from Santa and they all started teasing her? "
Or even worse the other cats got better presents from santa and then she will feel bad. |
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"We have given our cat several Christmas presents early.
She does have a little stocking but we haven't written on the label because she can't read so she won't know whether it's from Santa or not.
Good plan, don't want to confuse her. What if she told older neighbourhood cats she had a present from Santa and they all started teasing her?
Or even worse the other cats got better presents from santa and then she will feel bad. "
Or she might even think she's on the naughty list when I'm sure she's always very nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have given our cat several Christmas presents early.
She does have a little stocking but we haven't written on the label because she can't read so she won't know whether it's from Santa or not.
Good plan, don't want to confuse her. What if she told older neighbourhood cats she had a present from Santa and they all started teasing her?
Or even worse the other cats got better presents from santa and then she will feel bad.
Or she might even think she's on the naughty list when I'm sure she's always very nice."
Well she has not been very nice to our new sofa!
She also acosts members of the public by dropping in front of their feet and refusing to move until they fuss her or if they ignore her she runs after them gobbing off! |
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"We have given our cat several Christmas presents early.
She does have a little stocking but we haven't written on the label because she can't read so she won't know whether it's from Santa or not.
Good plan, don't want to confuse her. What if she told older neighbourhood cats she had a present from Santa and they all started teasing her?
Or even worse the other cats got better presents from santa and then she will feel bad.
Or she might even think she's on the naughty list when I'm sure she's always very nice.
Well she has not been very nice to our new sofa!
She also acosts members of the public by dropping in front of their feet and refusing to move until they fuss her or if they ignore her she runs after them gobbing off! "
Perfectly acceptable (the attention-seeking, rather than the sofa issue!).
If a cat wants a fuss I'm pretty sure by law you have to provide said fuss. It's the law. |
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Well I'm sure he is a very good dog who deserves his present!