FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Manners cost nothing
Manners cost nothing
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have been reading the posts in the forum since joining a couple of weeks ago. As a newbie I find them informative and also funny. I have seen how supportive people can be to others on this site. I just wanted to say that it is quite daunting to put a post up on here for newbies and of course everyone has their own opinions and nobody should expect everyone to agree with them when making a point but sometimes it seems people can be quite rude to the OP in threads and I don't see the need for it tbh manners cost nothing even if you disagree with someone there is no need to be rude x Now feel free to slag me off and point out my rubbish grammar lol I can take it and tbh it is only yourselves that you will be showing up. Rant over x |
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Sometimes I think it just comes across the wrong way and is not meant to be rude. But like you I did lurk for awhile with just the odd comment here and there till I realised that the regular forumites are in general very down to earth. I don't believe they are really as scary as they first seem lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience the posters that get slated are the ones that ask questions that have been doe to death, or are offensive, or preach, or get abusive when they don't get the response they get, etc, etc...
I'll be honest telling me how I should post ticks at least one of those boxes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If my comments have offended anyone and i have some how not adhered to the forum etiquette I sincerely apologise x"
Probably in time some posts will get to really boil ur pish and you will see why some threads get pulled apart! In the mean time watch and learn lol
thankyou x |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Welcome to the forums Sosiec, I agree that some people disagree nastily/rudely and can see how it might put folk off posting...if I post on a serious thread (don't laugh, I do occasionally!) I attempt to get my point over without being insulting or judgemental and if possible, humorous...some like that, some don't, some respond by getting even more rude and if I can be arsed or if I'm in a mischeivous mood I respond by disagreeing even more politely! - I'm a bit of a DILLIGAFF and fairly thick skinned with regards to the forums, but still have to say, they've given me some great laughs and kept me sane while I've been ill. Have fun on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
agreed. Its seems that some in here think they are the only ones with opinions"
We are all guilty of that. It's just that some people embrace differences while others feel threatened. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am not saying people should all agree with each other and of course people's emotions may be stirred by certain subjects and a heated discussion may ensue I have just noticed snide remarks at times and although I may agree with the _iew point I find the delivery quite uncomfortable to read at times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am not saying people should all agree with each other and of course people's emotions may be stirred by certain subjects and a heated discussion may ensue I have just noticed snide remarks at times and although I may agree with the _iew point I find the delivery quite uncomfortable to read at times "
I love a good discussion. Nothing wrong with differing opinions. It's the snide/ childish comments that irritate me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
agreed. Its seems that some in here think they are the only ones with opinions
We are all guilty of that. It's just that some people embrace differences while others feel threatened."
Things what get me at times when some like to twist things and read things in a post thats not there .... And some i am sure get off on it too .. its not taking things to heart here and remembering its a site on the net not life , lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My parents would suggest otherwise! 
Dave are you on here again without your parents permission! Tsk!
"
No I am honest Ive done my homework and everyfing!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
agreed. Its seems that some in here think they are the only ones with opinions
We are all guilty of that. It's just that some people embrace differences while others feel threatened.Things what get me at times when some like to twist things and read things in a post thats not there .... And some i am sure get off on it too .. its not taking things to heart here and remembering its a site on the net not life , lol "
For some "club" members it maybe life? |
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Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?"
No just respect that we all deserve. |
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?No just respect that we all deserve. "
Doesn't respect have to be earned?
I don't often find this place rude but maybe I'm not reading the right threads.
...or maybe I'm just an insensitive arsehole and Mrs ex-Carambar was right all along |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?No just respect that we all deserve.
Doesn't respect have to be earned?
I don't often find this place rude but maybe I'm not reading the right threads.
...or maybe I'm just an insensitive arsehole and Mrs ex-Carambar was right all along "
Well if the badge fits wear it with pride! |
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?"
I actually have to say yes to that. (not the cotton wool lol)
When somewhere unfamiliar such as a pub, it's much easier to jump in a conversation with people you don't know. You can read body language, tone etc to gage people. Here it's words on a screen, so untill you get a feel for the place it can be very hard to perceive others comments. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think in all seriousness, that on any type of forum, people will invariably not have the same opinion as others and people need to remember it is just words on a screen.
Keyboard warriors exist on all forums, just don't feed the trolls.
And hello & welcome OP. |
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?No just respect that we all deserve.
Doesn't respect have to be earned?
I don't often find this place rude but maybe I'm not reading the right threads.
...or maybe I'm just an insensitive arsehole and Mrs ex-Carambar was right all along Well if the badge fits wear it with pride!"
Hahaha... touche (hmm, how do you do accented characters on a phone?) |
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?
I actually have to say yes to that. (not the cotton wool lol)
When somewhere unfamiliar such as a pub, it's much easier to jump in a conversation with people you don't know. You can read body language, tone etc to gage people. Here it's words on a screen, so untill you get a feel for the place it can be very hard to perceive others comments. "
I see your point.
My next question, I guess, is whether Far is worse than other forums or is it indicative of all websites? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?
I actually have to say yes to that. (not the cotton wool lol)
When somewhere unfamiliar such as a pub, it's much easier to jump in a conversation with people you don't know. You can read body language, tone etc to gage people. Here it's words on a screen, so untill you get a feel for the place it can be very hard to perceive others comments. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think in all seriousness, that on any type of forum, people will invariably not have the same opinion as others and people need to remember it is just words on a screen.
Keyboard warriors exist on all forums, just don't feed the trolls.
And hello & welcome OP. "
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?
I actually have to say yes to that. (not the cotton wool lol)
When somewhere unfamiliar such as a pub, it's much easier to jump in a conversation with people you don't know. You can read body language, tone etc to gage people. Here it's words on a screen, so untill you get a feel for the place it can be very hard to perceive others comments.
I see your point.
My next question, I guess, is whether Far is worse than other forums or is it indicative of all websites?"
Absolutely all sites, regardless of content.
And they aren't any good I tell you, unless you can get a badge |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think in all seriousness, that on any type of forum, people will invariably not have the same opinion as others and people need to remember it is just words on a screen.
Keyboard warriors exist on all forums, just don't feed the trolls.
And hello & welcome OP. "
I agree healthy debate id part of the British culture and everyone has the right to their opinion but when people feel intimidated by others then that is not right. I am sat here working (on a Sunday how sad) and popping in an out of FAB but to see three people apologise on three seperate threads for posting quite nuetral opinions (one was asking for advice!)then that is not right in any environment? |
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"I think that is part of my point it does remind me of playground bullying at times "
Except that you have to go to school - you read these forum posts and indeed come on to Fabs voluntarily.
It's a simple choice. You can get all wound up about the rudeness or 'bullying' or just take it with a pinhc of salt, close the page, and not let it bother you.
This is, after all, just an Internet forum, not 'real' life
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not again..............look at the "Why"
thread............the "community" is made up of about 30 forum junkies who have, through longevity, somehow accquired the right to be argumentative or rude to those who are not part of the "community" who dare to post or challemge (their) _iew on all discussion topics. I have seen three posts this morning where the OP have had to defend themselves to the "community" Now that is a rant!"
I (and it is always I, ie Loki) periodically venture into the forums, as now, and say something, but I certainly do not see myself or anybody else who says anything in the forums as part of a 'community'.
On the subject of good manners, we, the English are noted for our hypocrisy because we take our good manners so far that we are often guilty of saying one thing but meaning another (how many of us have said 'can I help you?' to someone when we actually mean something very different?!?!). Personally I prefer people to be a little less 'polite' sometimes so that I know exactly where I stand.
Some topics of conversation are bound to result in a little heat too, notably anything vaguely political, and anyone who gets involved in such conversations should expect this. If they are too thin skinned to be able to take it then it might be a good idea not to step into the arena in the first place!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" If they are too thin skinned to be able to take it then it might be a good idea not to step into the arena in the first place!
"
It still doesn't preclude a measure of personal respect for others, or when having nothing good to say, saying nothing at all
However some find others saying nothing at all a provocation in itself sometimes, so you just cannot win!
Wolf
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One day i was jumped on accused of bullying someone. What i did was tell him the truth but didnt sugar coat it. He didnt complain, otheres did for him.
Do you know what, he took on board what i said and the very next day he completly changed what he was doing wrong. Hes not on here now but i had so much respect for him taking on board something without moaning.
What one will see as negative another will see as a positive depending on the individual |
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"I think in all seriousness, that on any type of forum, people will invariably not have the same opinion as others and people need to remember it is just words on a screen.
Keyboard warriors exist on all forums, just don't feed the trolls.
And hello & welcome OP. I agree healthy debate id part of the British culture and everyone has the right to their opinion but when people feel intimidated by others then that is not right. I am sat here working (on a Sunday how sad) and popping in an out of FAB but to see three people apologise on three seperate threads for posting quite nuetral opinions (one was asking for advice!)then that is not right in any environment? "
I've felt intimidated by everything you've said this morning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not again..............look at the "Why"
thread............the "community" is made up of about 30 forum junkies who have, through longevity, somehow accquired the right to be argumentative or rude to those who are not part of the "community" who dare to post or challemge (their) _iew on all discussion topics. I have seen three posts this morning where the OP have had to defend themselves to the "community" Now that is a rant!
I (and it is always I, ie Loki) periodically venture into the forums, as now, and say something, but I certainly do not see myself or anybody else who says anything in the forums as part of a 'community'.
On the subject of good manners, we, the English are noted for our hypocrisy because we take our good manners so far that we are often guilty of saying one thing but meaning another (how many of us have said 'can I help you?' to someone when we actually mean something very different?!?!). Personally I prefer people to be a little less 'polite' sometimes so that I know exactly where I stand.
Some topics of conversation are bound to result in a little heat too, notably anything vaguely political, and anyone who gets involved in such conversations should expect this. If they are too thin skinned to be able to take it then it might be a good idea not to step into the arena in the first place!
"
You have read the OP? Assuming you have then I do not understand your response? One can be direct and express an opinion without being impolite? The OP has implied a degree of intimidation from asking for advice of expressing an opinion. That is wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think in all seriousness, that on any type of forum, people will invariably not have the same opinion as others and people need to remember it is just words on a screen.
Keyboard warriors exist on all forums, just don't feed the trolls.
And hello & welcome OP. I agree healthy debate id part of the British culture and everyone has the right to their opinion but when people feel intimidated by others then that is not right. I am sat here working (on a Sunday how sad) and popping in an out of FAB but to see three people apologise on three seperate threads for posting quite nuetral opinions (one was asking for advice!)then that is not right in any environment? "
Ok, well we are having a lazy day, roast prepared for later
We (M is also playing on the PS3) are on the forums for some fun.
That is all I ever take it as.
Yes it can get be a bit of a rough ride for some, some do bring it on themselves though.
One thread I believe you may be referring to, ended well.
I think if it was me, and I got "jumped" on, I would walk away, log out, or anything else, but some seem to want to come back for more. That doesn't make it right, but at the end of the day they are grown ups who can make the decision to ignore or move on.
Also people do have different posting styles, which could be taken the wrong way, and not as intended.
The basic fact for me is, you will never get along with everyone in life, and what a boring world it would be if you did.
But you can choose to ignore, in real life, and even more so on forums.
Life is too short to worry about what Joe Blogs says about you on a forum
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think in all seriousness, that on any type of forum, people will invariably not have the same opinion as others and people need to remember it is just words on a screen.
Keyboard warriors exist on all forums, just don't feed the trolls.
And hello & welcome OP. I agree healthy debate id part of the British culture and everyone has the right to their opinion but when people feel intimidated by others then that is not right. I am sat here working (on a Sunday how sad) and popping in an out of FAB but to see three people apologise on three seperate threads for posting quite nuetral opinions (one was asking for advice!)then that is not right in any environment?
I've felt intimidated by everything you've said this morning."
Please explain why I have intimidated you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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it just seems that maybe as a newbie it can seem quite intimidating to post when people take things so seriously and feel the need to belittle someone for whatever reason obviously there are people on here with little patience for others it's just a shame as if there was a bit more tolerance maybe more people would join in discussions and surely the more people joining in on topics the better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One day i was jumped on accused of bullying someone. What i did was tell him the truth but didnt sugar coat it. He didnt complain, otheres did for him.
Do you know what, he took on board what i said and the very next day he completly changed what he was doing wrong. Hes not on here now but i had so much respect for him taking on board something without moaning.
What one will see as negative another will see as a positive depending on the individual"
It depends on how it's said though. I've seen posts where you've given some direct advice/ made comments (I don't know if it was the one you mean) but you were right to the point and not bitchy or rude with it. You were just honest. I like that, and by the sounds of it he did too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it just seems that maybe as a newbie it can seem quite intimidating to post when people take things so seriously and feel the need to belittle someone for whatever reason obviously there are people on here with little patience for others it's just a shame as if there was a bit more tolerance maybe more people would join in discussions and surely the more people joining in on topics the better "
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
some people love being outraged
some people love being offensive
some people love being offended
some people love to argue
some people sugar coat
some people say it as it is
some people answer depending on genitalia
some people love to lord or lady it over others
some people will jump off a cliff if others say so
some people love being in a pack
some people love being on their own
some people love their individuality
some people will follow others to fit in
some people...... don't be any of them, just be you
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"some people love being outraged
some people love being offensive
some people love being offended
some people love to argue
some people sugar coat
some people say it as it is
some people answer depending on genitalia
some people love to lord or lady it over others
some people will jump off a cliff if others say so
some people love being in a pack
some people love being on their own
some people love their individuality
some people will follow others to fit in
some people...... don't be any of them, just be you
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Maybe theres a hit team who stick together to keep people on there toes here . lol we better keep close eye see if same people doing it , lol
Did you miss an S of '_hit Team' Jo ? x"
yes Gran maybe xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sum people just don't add up ......
some people are childish
Some people want it all
Some people want it now, now, now!!"
some people are just plain greedy |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"A lot of tension around these parts today
Take the lastic bands off now Ryan "
I want to change my avatar but I can't because of what you said in the other thread !
I will be a double arse lol |
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"A lot of tension around these parts today
Take the lastic bands off now Ryan
I want to change my avatar but I can't because of what you said in the other thread !
I will be a double arse lol"
Aksherly ...... I like the look of it |
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"some people love being outraged
some people love being offensive
some people love being offended
some people love to argue
some people sugar coat
some people say it as it is
some people answer depending on genitalia
some people love to lord or lady it over others
some people will jump off a cliff if others say so
some people love being in a pack
some people love being on their own
some people love their individuality
some people will follow others to fit
some people...... don't be any of them, just be you
"
Love it! |
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"Is this place any worse for newbies than their local pub or the canteen at their workplace? My school playground was a harsher place to be accepted than the forums on this site are.
Should we give free cotton wool to people when they sign up?"
That, and a wet nurse. |
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"I could get a nurses uniform who wants to get me wet?
Want to borrow mine lol
Is that Mr or Mrs Instaiable writing this? 
Mrs "
WooHoo... now which is closer to Swindon - Dorset or Manchester?
Scrub that... how about you all come to Swindon and bring your nurses' outfits with you?  |
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"I could get a nurses uniform who wants to get me wet?
Want to borrow mine lol
Is that Mr or Mrs Instaiable writing this?
Mrs
WooHoo... now which is closer to Swindon - Dorset or Manchester?
Scrub that... how about you all come to Swindon and bring your nurses' outfits with you? "
Lol nurse, maid, devil, police, air hostess, pilot, sailor girl......too many to list, any preference?   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of tension around these parts today
Take the lastic bands off now Ryan
I'd love to snap a few laggy bands off his arse. 
Sadist "
Thank you
*twaaaang* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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School playgrounds are often used as a simile by those who feel intimidated or uncomfortable with the reality of adult exchanges. The truth is not everything in a school yard was bad, most of it for most people was very good. Its where most of us learnt to interact and probably shows honest human group behavior in one of it's most natural states (in our society).
I think every group situation in life as we grow can be compared to the school yard, the only difference is that we develop our sophistication and call it maturity.
Some people are rude, disrespectful, impatient, or bullies, but that is life. You will see elements of that in every group or gathering. If you blame the unwelcoming people in life for your lack of participation then you'll probably never get to play on the netball team.
As View alluded earlier in his very good 'some people' post, everybody is diferent and probably looking for different things, as well as bringing their differences to the forums. Some will bring humour, some logic and some rudeness. It's life.
My advice to any newbie considering posting but hesitating because of percieved personal intimidation is to post now and participate. Bring your difference to the party, there are those amongst us who will appreciate that difference whatever it is. |
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"School playgrounds are often used as a simile by those who feel intimidated or uncomfortable with the reality of adult exchanges. The truth is not everything in a school yard was bad, most of it for most people was very good. Its where most of us learnt to interact and probably shows honest human group behavior in one of it's most natural states (in our society).
I think every group situation in life as we grow can be compared to the school yard, the only difference is that we develop our sophistication and call it maturity.
Some people are rude, disrespectful, impatient, or bullies, but that is life. You will see elements of that in every group or gathering. If you blame the unwelcoming people in life for your lack of participation then you'll probably never get to play on the netball team.
As View alluded earlier in his very good 'some people' post, everybody is diferent and probably looking for different things, as well as bringing their differences to the forums. Some will bring humour, some logic and some rudeness. It's life.
My advice to any newbie considering posting but hesitating because of percieved personal intimidation is to post now and participate. Bring your difference to the party, there are those amongst us who will appreciate that difference whatever it is. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"School playgrounds are often used as a simile by those who feel intimidated or uncomfortable with the reality of adult exchanges. The truth is not everything in a school yard was bad, most of it for most people was very good. Its where most of us learnt to interact and probably shows honest human group behavior in one of it's most natural states (in our society).
I think every group situation in life as we grow can be compared to the school yard, the only difference is that we develop our sophistication and call it maturity.
Some people are rude, disrespectful, impatient, or bullies, but that is life. You will see elements of that in every group or gathering. If you blame the unwelcoming people in life for your lack of participation then you'll probably never get to play on the netball team.
As View alluded earlier in his very good 'some people' post, everybody is diferent and probably looking for different things, as well as bringing their differences to the forums. Some will bring humour, some logic and some rudeness. It's life.
My advice to any newbie considering posting but hesitating because of percieved personal intimidation is to post now and participate. Bring your difference to the party, there are those amongst us who will appreciate that difference whatever it is. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"School playgrounds are often used as a simile by those who feel intimidated or uncomfortable with the reality of adult exchanges. The truth is not everything in a school yard was bad, most of it for most people was very good. Its where most of us learnt to interact and probably shows honest human group behavior in one of it's most natural states (in our society).
I think every group situation in life as we grow can be compared to the school yard, the only difference is that we develop our sophistication and call it maturity.
Some people are rude, disrespectful, impatient, or bullies, but that is life. You will see elements of that in every group or gathering. If you blame the unwelcoming people in life for your lack of participation then you'll probably never get to play on the netball team.
As View alluded earlier in his very good 'some people' post, everybody is diferent and probably looking for different things, as well as bringing their differences to the forums. Some will bring humour, some logic and some rudeness. It's life.
My advice to any newbie considering posting but hesitating because of percieved personal intimidation is to post now and participate. Bring your difference to the party, there are those amongst us who will appreciate that difference whatever it is. "
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"School playgrounds are often used as a simile by those who feel intimidated or uncomfortable with the reality of adult exchanges. The truth is not everything in a school yard was bad, most of it for most people was very good. Its where most of us learnt to interact and probably shows honest human group behavior in one of it's most natural states (in our society).
I think every group situation in life as we grow can be compared to the school yard, the only difference is that we develop our sophistication and call it maturity.
Some people are rude, disrespectful, impatient, or bullies, but that is life. You will see elements of that in every group or gathering. If you blame the unwelcoming people in life for your lack of participation then you'll probably never get to play on the netball team.
As View alluded earlier in his very good 'some people' post, everybody is diferent and probably looking for different things, as well as bringing their differences to the forums. Some will bring humour, some logic and some rudeness. It's life.
My advice to any newbie considering posting but hesitating because of percieved personal intimidation is to post now and participate. Bring your difference to the party, there are those amongst us who will appreciate that difference whatever it is. "
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"School playgrounds are often used as a simile by those who feel intimidated or uncomfortable with the reality of adult exchanges. The truth is not everything in a school yard was bad, most of it for most people was very good. Its where most of us learnt to interact and probably shows honest human group behavior in one of it's most natural states (in our society).
I think every group situation in life as we grow can be compared to the school yard, the only difference is that we develop our sophistication and call it maturity.
Some people are rude, disrespectful, impatient, or bullies, but that is life. You will see elements of that in every group or gathering. If you blame the unwelcoming people in life for your lack of participation then you'll probably never get to play on the netball team.
As View alluded earlier in his very good 'some people' post, everybody is diferent and probably looking for different things, as well as bringing their differences to the forums. Some will bring humour, some logic and some rudeness. It's life.
My advice to any newbie considering posting but hesitating because of percieved personal intimidation is to post now and participate. Bring your difference to the party, there are those amongst us who will appreciate that difference whatever it is.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Before I started posting on the forums I spent quite a bit of time reading back through previous months postings and topics discussed.
With that in mind it was still tentative baby steps with posting till one day I posted my own thread ..... then the dreaded .......will it die a death all alone out there on the forum? It didn't but then many others have or have killed previous posts.
So what, I still live to tell the tale. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"really shouldnt be daunting posting on an internet forum people take this sheet way too serious"
sheet that's a new one on me, lol and words can cut you like a knife ... some will always take things to heart as softies and some will stick two finger up and smile .. x |
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