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Mental health (this isn’t for attention)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was speaking to a woman the other day on here and she said you’ve been quiet so I said I suffer with depression and was having a low day. She then went totally different personality wise towards me and said oh you’re one of those looks for attention mental health isn’t real and you should man up?!
I haven’t said anything because I felt like crap but is this not the reason why people do bad things?!! Sorry but had to get it off of my chest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This makes me so mad. Sorry you’re struggling OP. I hate the whole “man up” thing. Like men don’t have enough pressure with the toxic masculinity cultural norms jeez. Well done you for speaking out and for taking time for yourself, self care is so important. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This makes me so mad. Sorry you’re struggling OP. I hate the whole “man up” thing. Like men don’t have enough pressure with the toxic masculinity cultural norms jeez. Well done you for speaking out and for taking time for yourself, self care is so important. X"
Thank you honestly I just dont understand some people like I get she might not want to speak to someone who suffers but the way it was put across towards me just felt so horrible! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This makes me so mad. Sorry you’re struggling OP. I hate the whole “man up” thing. Like men don’t have enough pressure with the toxic masculinity cultural norms jeez. Well done you for speaking out and for taking time for yourself, self care is so important. X
Thank you honestly I just dont understand some people like I get she might not want to speak to someone who suffers but the way it was put across towards me just felt so horrible!"
Not worth your time at all x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm very sorry to hear that OP. I think unless you've experienced a mental health issue either an acute episode or something long term then you are unable to understand let alone empathise. However, if you have that experience there is no explanation needed.
I hope you can process, accept and move on from that experience.
(LOVE)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not with your time and go's bless her if she thinks it's not real and attention selling. Some people just don't understand.
I used to get oh pull yourself together people worse off etc from a family member, to this day hasn't a clue of how low I got or how close I was to the edge but thankfully friends and other family were there.
Stay strong and anytime you want to chat drop us a pm |
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I'm sorry that happened. No one should speak to you like that.
There'll be lots of folk along now who you can reach out to, who'll genuinely try to help. That's what's great about this site.
Take care & be kind to yourself & you'll get through it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That was a nasty thing to say to you OP. I too suffer with depression so you're not alone. The reason people say these things is because they actually fear what they don't understand. Take care OP x |
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By *egoMan
over a year ago
Preston |
I get it. Slightly different angle.
But they’ll love how quirky I am, creative and forward/upfront.
As the conversation progresses I reveal I’m autistic, that’s why I display some of things they really like in me. Then they just vanish.
It’s almost like a deep set stigma they have. Regardless of if they get on with you or not. The preconceptions over rule the actual experience.
And some people just don’t accept MH issues as serious. Which isn’t helped by other belittling them such as, oh it’s just my OCD when normally rclwaning a house. For example.
Please don’t take their ignorant words to heart. You were saved a bigger heartbreak by attaching to them then realising their faults. |
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By *JAM...Man
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Keep your head up buddy we all have deamons.
some people on fab can't see beyond there own nose and the % of people who can don't care about your problems beacouse there too self absorbed in what they want.
Value yourself and just be you don't care about what others think, sometimes you just go quiet I understand I'm like that too. |
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Some people are lucky enough not to suffer. My dad never had a headache in his life but he didn't deny the existence of head pain.
OP there are a lot of people here you can reach out to who totally get it. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"I was speaking to a woman the other day on here and she said you’ve been quiet so I said I suffer with depression and was having a low day. She then went totally different personality wise towards me and said oh you’re one of those looks for attention mental health isn’t real and you should man up?!
I haven’t said anything because I felt like crap but is this not the reason why people do bad things?!! Sorry but had to get it off of my chest"
Well that’s the type of person you don’t want to give your time to, hit the block button on her and try not to think about it, chat with those that lift your spirits and give you that little smile, take care of yourself xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Honestly thank you everyone for the kind words honestly makes me feel so much better knowing that people do understand and how low we can all really get sometimes!!
She definitely is blocked and I hope she gets deleted from this site!!
If anyone needs a chat or anything honestly I know how it feels to feel alone and my emails are welcome from all to have a chat!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it's not attention seeking have a daughter suffers with depression! Wish I knew how to help her I really do  x"
Cognitive therapy and medication worked for me.  |
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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago
Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove |
Hope you’re having a better day
That woman needs to give her head a wobble -that and the ‘chin up’ attitude doesn’t help those who a truly struggling
I have a mostly hidden illness and have had countless people question whether I’m genuinely ill as they can’t ‘see’ it.
One manager said to me she couldn’t tell if I was faking it or not - despite 20 medical reports obtained by employers confirming my medical status
Some people are just arseholes - block and delete them … I have no place for rude or negative people in my life that will impact negatively on the positive vibrations I am trying to engage |
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"No it's not attention seeking have a daughter suffers with depression! Wish I knew how to help her I really do x
Cognitive therapy and medication worked for me. "
She was on tablets a while back doc recommended talking to therapist but she wont shes a very private person if that makes sense x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No it's not attention seeking have a daughter suffers with depression! Wish I knew how to help her I really do x
Cognitive therapy and medication worked for me.
She was on tablets a while back doc recommended talking to therapist but she wont shes a very private person if that makes sense x"
Bless her!! I hope she starts to open up and see that people are around to give her all the support she needs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it's not attention seeking have a daughter suffers with depression! Wish I knew how to help her I really do x
Cognitive therapy and medication worked for me.
She was on tablets a while back doc recommended talking to therapist but she wont shes a very private person if that makes sense x
Bless her!! I hope she starts to open up and see that people are around to give her all the support she needs"
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"No it's not attention seeking have a daughter suffers with depression! Wish I knew how to help her I really do x
Cognitive therapy and medication worked for me.
She was on tablets a while back doc recommended talking to therapist but she wont shes a very private person if that makes sense x
Bless her!! I hope she starts to open up and see that people are around to give her all the support she needs"
It's very difficult not knowing the right things to say! I inevitably say the wrong thing tbh x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe fab should have a separate section for mental health issues? Only because it seems some people on here get scared or confused on how to deal with someone saying I have mental health issues.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe fab should have a separate section for mental health issues? Only because it seems some people on here get scared or confused on how to deal with someone saying I have mental health issues...."
100000% that would be such a good idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it's not attention seeking have a daughter suffers with depression! Wish I knew how to help her I really do x
Cognitive therapy and medication worked for me.
She was on tablets a while back doc recommended talking to therapist but she wont shes a very private person if that makes sense x"
Plenty of different medications out there just finding the right one can completely change a person. If the current ones she is taking are not helping it's best to try another or alternatively therapy may be the best thing if you can talk her round. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some folk just don’t understand depression because it’s not a physical illness that can be seen or they’ve never had it to understand it, But would they tell someone who’s suffers from a physical illness to just shake it off no because that’s never heard of. As long as you have the support you need around op I wouldn’t give a second thought of what someone thinks who doesn’t understand it. |
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By *JAM...Man
over a year ago
Peterborough |
I wanna try getting discord groups made for fab that swingers can go just to hang out and be real people and talk about anything if they need to but I would need good admin and tec savi people with me to make it work. I've helped set up mental health help groups before within discord and they can work really well. If anyone else wants to get in on this let me know. Fab is so outdates a mental heal section would be great but it will never work well on this browser |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I was speaking to a woman the other day on here and she said you’ve been quiet so I said I suffer with depression and was having a low day. She then went totally different personality wise towards me and said oh you’re one of those looks for attention mental health isn’t real and you should man up?!
I haven’t said anything because I felt like crap but is this not the reason why people do bad things?!! Sorry but had to get it off of my chest"
It’s a useful filter.
Personally I think that there’s little more destructive to the psyche than the term ‘man up’ |
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"No it's not attention seeking have a daughter suffers with depression! Wish I knew how to help her I really do x
Cognitive therapy and medication worked for me.
She was on tablets a while back doc recommended talking to therapist but she wont shes a very private person if that makes sense x
Plenty of different medications out there just finding the right one can completely change a person. If the current ones she is taking are not helping it's best to try another or alternatively therapy may be the best thing if you can talk her round."
Yes for sure the ones she was on were no help if anything made her feel worse! She is not taking any at the moment x |
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Sounds like you dodged a bullet there with her.
I have depression as well as being on the autism spectrum, so I have days where I'm not as active in certain things. And this time of year, since I work retail, there are times I'm not as social with people I don't know. |
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By *egoMan
over a year ago
Preston |
"Sounds like you dodged a bullet there with her.
I have depression as well as being on the autism spectrum, so I have days where I'm not as active in certain things. And this time of year, since I work retail, there are times I'm not as social with people I don't know."
Christ how are you even on here. Retail would drain me completely. Especially now.
I’m lucky I have my own cavernous office. One low light. I control the environment and limit external stimulation while my colleagues can still readily come to me for guidance.
Bit like Noel Fielding in the IT crowd. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was speaking to a woman the other day on here and she said you’ve been quiet so I said I suffer with depression and was having a low day. She then went totally different personality wise towards me and said oh you’re one of those looks for attention mental health isn’t real and you should man up?!
I haven’t said anything because I felt like crap but is this not the reason why people do bad things?!! Sorry but had to get it off of my chest"
Hope you blocked the insensitive cow. Mental health is real. More so now than ever before. You dnt need anyone saying that to you. Hope you are ok OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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there’s a lot of people who understand you and willing to help negative people are not good , keep that chin up and I’m sure we will all listen to your problems to help out x |
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A lot of people dismiss mental health as some “fad” thing, unfortunately this view is helped by people who genuinely treat it as a fashion accessory.
It’s not right at all & sadly I too have been on the receiving end of the same abuse as you, best thing I would recommend is to block & move on, people like that don’t deserve 5 minutes more of your time.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I spent years with someone like this. She was going through mental health issues before we met. These reappeared a couple of years into our relationship. I tried to comfort her she would always say she is fine but then used it against me to say I was not understanding enough. She would never open up to me, which was frustrating. The little she did open I could understand why she had these mental health issues going on but then there was lots she didn't open up about which I later found out. People that knew her would say she was the creator of her own mental health issues with the choices she had made in her life. I had entered into a world of her web of lies and deceit.
I honestly did not know how to deal with things.
This impacted the relationship and my own mental health.
Life changed and when I would say I was struggling with my mental health with all the things I was having to deal with. Her reply to me would be 'Man up'
I live and learn |
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"Sounds like you dodged a bullet there with her.
I have depression as well as being on the autism spectrum, so I have days where I'm not as active in certain things. And this time of year, since I work retail, there are times I'm not as social with people I don't know.
Christ how are you even on here. Retail would drain me completely. Especially now.
I’m lucky I have my own cavernous office. One low light. I control the environment and limit external stimulation while my colleagues can still readily come to me for guidance.
Bit like Noel Fielding in the IT crowd."
It's just something I've always lived with. Plus I do find socializing online easier, but the harder days I stick with people I know on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was speaking to a woman the other day on here and she said you’ve been quiet so I said I suffer with depression and was having a low day. She then went totally different personality wise towards me and said oh you’re one of those looks for attention mental health isn’t real and you should man up?!
I haven’t said anything because I felt like crap but is this not the reason why people do bad things?!! Sorry but had to get it off of my chest"
Hi!!
Just wanted to pop up to suggest Andys Man club especially because of the work they do to reverse this attitude to men's mental health. Hope you get the help you need... sending love! |
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I hope you are feeling better OP. I guess it can be difficult for those that have never experienced it to understand, but none-the-less she could still have been a little less "attack dog" and go and research these things.
You are better off without that one! |
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
Sorry to hear you struggle with mental health, I hope you have people around you who support you. As for the way that person spoke to you, she has done you a favour. You don't need poisonous people like that in your life.
I hope you can find many brighter days ahead, just keep plodding on a day at a time, an hour at a time on your bad days. Go easy on yourself and take no notice of any negative folk on here.
Look after yourself  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This makes me so mad. Sorry you’re struggling OP. I hate the whole “man up” thing. Like men don’t have enough pressure with the toxic masculinity cultural norms jeez. Well done you for speaking out and for taking time for yourself, self care is so important. X"
This 100% ive had my struggles the past 3 year attempting to take my life twice, im coming out the other side now and only today im seeing someone i know (through the car scene) has killed himself. It really saddens me to see this and trust me it does get better. What really pisses me off is the prehistoric attitude many have.. and you know those that have that attitude arnt worth shi7, your better off without them. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"I was speaking to a woman the other day on here and she said you’ve been quiet so I said I suffer with depression and was having a low day. She then went totally different personality wise towards me and said oh you’re one of those looks for attention mental health isn’t real and you should man up?!
I haven’t said anything because I felt like crap but is this not the reason why people do bad things?!! Sorry but had to get it off of my chest"
PMT is just an a excuse to be a grumpy bitch and eat chocolate.
Show her that and watch her explode! |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
I've been on the happy pills for years and will never get back on them.
She can cause people to top themselves with that attitude.
Some people deserve a slap for being heartless like that.
(Did I just type that out aloud?)  |
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I love how going quiet is described as attention seeking 
Fellow depressive here. The last thing I want when I'm really low is attention! Yes, I could reply to you, but if I do I won't have the energy to brush my teeth... So, either way, we ain't meeting right now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Making herself feel superior by putting other's down, your better off not engaging with a clown like that.
Was she fit though?  "
Not fit to comment, that's for certain ! |
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So sorry you had this reaction Op. Mental health is no joke, it's something that needs sympathy and understanding not berating!
Hope you are feeling better though.
It's definitely not attention seeking to need a little space or to withdraw from conversations, quite the opposite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spent years with someone like this. She was going through mental health issues before we met. These reappeared a couple of years into our relationship. I tried to comfort her she would always say she is fine but then used it against me to say I was not understanding enough. She would never open up to me, which was frustrating. The little she did open I could understand why she had these mental health issues going on but then there was lots she didn't open up about which I later found out. People that knew her would say she was the creator of her own mental health issues with the choices she had made in her life. I had entered into a world of her web of lies and deceit.
I honestly did not know how to deal with things.
This impacted the relationship and my own mental health.
Life changed and when I would say I was struggling with my mental health with all the things I was having to deal with. Her reply to me would be 'Man up'
I live and learn "
Are you saying her mental health issues were her own fault and your mental health issues were her fault too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry to hear you've experienced this, please don't let it put you off, some people are just ignorant and uneducated. I'm more than happy to chat if you ever need a friend just know there's always help out there. I hope you are OK and have some good solid people around you  x Take care |
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"Honestly thank you everyone for the kind words honestly makes me feel so much better knowing that people do understand and how low we can all really get sometimes!!
She definitely is blocked and I hope she gets deleted from this site!!
If anyone needs a chat or anything honestly I know how it feels to feel alone and my emails are welcome from all to have a chat!!"
You are clearly a very special person to be offering to chat when you’re suffering yourself.
Don’t let one narrow minded person on fab interrupt your self nurturing.
Sending support. X |
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Don't let some idiot put you down mate. I suffer from depression, anxiety and stress what a mixture and to top it I am ocd. Only those who actually have mental health issues will totally understand you.
Feel free to message if ever you want to chat mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spent years with someone like this. She was going through mental health issues before we met. These reappeared a couple of years into our relationship. I tried to comfort her she would always say she is fine but then used it against me to say I was not understanding enough. She would never open up to me, which was frustrating. The little she did open I could understand why she had these mental health issues going on but then there was lots she didn't open up about which I later found out. People that knew her would say she was the creator of her own mental health issues with the choices she had made in her life. I had entered into a world of her web of lies and deceit.
I honestly did not know how to deal with things.
This impacted the relationship and my own mental health.
Life changed and when I would say I was struggling with my mental health with all the things I was having to deal with. Her reply to me would be 'Man up'
I live and learn
Are you saying her mental health issues were her own fault and your mental health issues were her fault too?"
People that knew her better than me would say it. I kept believing her and tried to support her, she didn't need it.
When the truths started to come out it did affect my mental health. When you realise you have been lied to for so many years.
I take full responsibility, I should have walked away at the first red flag. |
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Heres the thing I've found regarding mental health, the more convincing your mask is the deeper the drama gets...
Like you OP I'm not seeking any kind words of sympathy and sure as hell would never want to be seen as an attention getter but as most who've ever read some of my posts know I had a son who suffered with depression.
People didn't believe him at first, he'd inherited an incredibly huge sum of money from a lottery jackpot winning great grandmother and with that amount at his disposal most dismissed his warning signs as attention grabbing, we all think money solves everything don't we..?
His depression quickly turned to addictions which resulted in numerous hospitalizations where his life hung by a thread, and I became very accustomed to ICU departments and holding his hand for days hoping he'd wake up as visiting hours didn't apply to me, and nurses who couldn't leave his bedside for a second.
It turned out that these times weren't accidental but failed attempts at taking his life.
I knew only of the last 2 of them but there were actually 6 inside a 12 months period, sadly aged 27 he was successful on his 7th attempt and was discovered in a hostel for the homeless not 5 minutes from one of the houses he owned surrounded by pictures of me.
I made sure his crack addiction was attended too by checking him into a private rehab clinic 6 months before and I might be clutching at the straws of positivity here but I'm proud to say there was only a trace of a softer drug in his body when he died which I assume he took to mask the pain.
His personality was very much like mine outwardly, one of humour and positivity to the extent that you simply would never believe his depression was so bad, I even told him if he didn't kick that habit and his heart stopped beating then mine would too, he was all I had that I loved in my life and it was only by reading a diary he kept during his rehab did I know how after his death how bad his mental health had been.
I've carried this for 17 months now, relived over and over conversations, keep reading texts and WhatsApp messages looking and finding clues to how down he was secretly feeling and tbh I still breathe because of a handful of fab friends to who I owe everything because they're all i have.
After 2 more life changing dramas since I've now asked for the professional help my son should've gotten last year. My positivity has got me so far but there are things I think I'm not coping too well with and the hospital referral has been made.
If someone has the bravery to stand up and admit to the things they're dealing with they need to be applauded and listened too, who really knows what any of us cope with and carry on broad shoulders, his problems would seem nothing to most yet to him they were everything and certainly enough to make so he couldn't bear this world any longer.
No matter how stupid you think your problems are there is great strength to be found in admitting your weakness, everyone has them. And should someone ever trusts you by revealing them then the least you can do is listen without prejudice...
One |
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"I was speaking to a woman the other day on here and she said you’ve been quiet so I said I suffer with depression and was having a low day. She then went totally different personality wise towards me and said oh you’re one of those looks for attention mental health isn’t real and you should man up?!
I haven’t said anything because I felt like crap but is this not the reason why people do bad things?!! Sorry but had to get it off of my chest"
I personally suffered with depression for a few years.
My daughter suffers with it also huge anxiety and panic attacks.
Let's hope this lady never has a shitty day where even thinking of getting out of bed is a task, depression, anxiety there is a huge spectrum. Everyone has their own way of coping and if they can not then I am hoping they all have so.eone to speak with and seek the help they need.
I know many people who can be so happy and high like one day and totally dissappear off the face of the earth next.
It feels absolutely awful to watch people you care about or love go through this.
People should never look down on anyone unless you are helping them up.
Every person knows a different version of us even our closest family and friends.
We never know what is going on in another person's day or what demons they are battling.
Just simply be kind, if someone has depression they are no different to anyone else, treat them exactly how you expect to be treated.
Sorry the cow was so rude hun.
Same here, inbox always open, I can talk a glass eye to sleep mind.... Haha
Kitten x x x |
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"Heres the thing I've found regarding mental health, the more convincing your mask is the deeper the drama gets...
Like you OP I'm not seeking any kind words of sympathy and sure as hell would never want to be seen as an attention getter but as most who've ever read some of my posts know I had a son who suffered with depression.
People didn't believe him at first, he'd inherited an incredibly huge sum of money from a lottery jackpot winning great grandmother and with that amount at his disposal most dismissed his warning signs as attention grabbing, we all think money solves everything don't we..?
His depression quickly turned to addictions which resulted in numerous hospitalizations where his life hung by a thread, and I became very accustomed to ICU departments and holding his hand for days hoping he'd wake up as visiting hours didn't apply to me, and nurses who couldn't leave his bedside for a second.
It turned out that these times weren't accidental but failed attempts at taking his life.
I knew only of the last 2 of them but there were actually 6 inside a 12 months period, sadly aged 27 he was successful on his 7th attempt and was discovered in a hostel for the homeless not 5 minutes from one of the houses he owned surrounded by pictures of me.
I made sure his crack addiction was attended too by checking him into a private rehab clinic 6 months before and I might be clutching at the straws of positivity here but I'm proud to say there was only a trace of a softer drug in his body when he died which I assume he took to mask the pain.
His personality was very much like mine outwardly, one of humour and positivity to the extent that you simply would never believe his depression was so bad, I even told him if he didn't kick that habit and his heart stopped beating then mine would too, he was all I had that I loved in my life and it was only by reading a diary he kept during his rehab did I know how after his death how bad his mental health had been.
I've carried this for 17 months now, relived over and over conversations, keep reading texts and WhatsApp messages looking and finding clues to how down he was secretly feeling and tbh I still breathe because of a handful of fab friends to who I owe everything because they're all i have.
After 2 more life changing dramas since I've now asked for the professional help my son should've gotten last year. My positivity has got me so far but there are things I think I'm not coping too well with and the hospital referral has been made.
If someone has the bravery to stand up and admit to the things they're dealing with they need to be applauded and listened too, who really knows what any of us cope with and carry on broad shoulders, his problems would seem nothing to most yet to him they were everything and certainly enough to make so he couldn't bear this world any longer.
No matter how stupid you think your problems are there is great strength to be found in admitting your weakness, everyone has them. And should someone ever trusts you by revealing them then the least you can do is listen without prejudice...
One "
Beautifully put, from what must be a painful place. Thanks for sharing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry this happened to you and I really hope this doesn't put you off opening up in the future. In my experience those that dismiss mental health issues and climate to be fake are normally struggling themselves but in denial. I really hope you are feeling a bit better today and please continue to enjoy the sight and not be put off by this one person's Lack of education and empathy in relation to mental health. |
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Sending love to all who have been or are going through tough times because of mental health issues.
OP, something that has helped me enormously is learning that people project out what is going on inside them, so many times it has nothing to do with us at all. If you can see any issues in situations like this as belonging to the other person then it goes a long way to easing the pressure we put on ourselves.
I’m sorry you’re struggling x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The whole man up thing is disgusting mental health is mental health whatever your gender as someone who struggled during childhood depression, anxiety, emotional unstable personality disorder and chronic PTSD along with suicide attempts it's really important to seek support please ignore her and keep talking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heres the thing I've found regarding mental health, the more convincing your mask is the deeper the drama gets...
Like you OP I'm not seeking any kind words of sympathy and sure as hell would never want to be seen as an attention getter but as most who've ever read some of my posts know I had a son who suffered with depression.
People didn't believe him at first, he'd inherited an incredibly huge sum of money from a lottery jackpot winning great grandmother and with that amount at his disposal most dismissed his warning signs as attention grabbing, we all think money solves everything don't we..?
His depression quickly turned to addictions which resulted in numerous hospitalizations where his life hung by a thread, and I became very accustomed to ICU departments and holding his hand for days hoping he'd wake up as visiting hours didn't apply to me, and nurses who couldn't leave his bedside for a second.
It turned out that these times weren't accidental but failed attempts at taking his life.
I knew only of the last 2 of them but there were actually 6 inside a 12 months period, sadly aged 27 he was successful on his 7th attempt and was discovered in a hostel for the homeless not 5 minutes from one of the houses he owned surrounded by pictures of me.
I made sure his crack addiction was attended too by checking him into a private rehab clinic 6 months before and I might be clutching at the straws of positivity here but I'm proud to say there was only a trace of a softer drug in his body when he died which I assume he took to mask the pain.
His personality was very much like mine outwardly, one of humour and positivity to the extent that you simply would never believe his depression was so bad, I even told him if he didn't kick that habit and his heart stopped beating then mine would too, he was all I had that I loved in my life and it was only by reading a diary he kept during his rehab did I know how after his death how bad his mental health had been.
I've carried this for 17 months now, relived over and over conversations, keep reading texts and WhatsApp messages looking and finding clues to how down he was secretly feeling and tbh I still breathe because of a handful of fab friends to who I owe everything because they're all i have.
After 2 more life changing dramas since I've now asked for the professional help my son should've gotten last year. My positivity has got me so far but there are things I think I'm not coping too well with and the hospital referral has been made.
If someone has the bravery to stand up and admit to the things they're dealing with they need to be applauded and listened too, who really knows what any of us cope with and carry on broad shoulders, his problems would seem nothing to most yet to him they were everything and certainly enough to make so he couldn't bear this world any longer.
No matter how stupid you think your problems are there is great strength to be found in admitting your weakness, everyone has them. And should someone ever trusts you by revealing them then the least you can do is listen without prejudice...
One "
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"No it's not attention seeking have a daughter suffers with depression! Wish I knew how to help her I really do x"
Try and look at it holistically, things like blood tests can speak volumes, when read properly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was speaking to a woman the other day on here and she said you’ve been quiet so I said I suffer with depression and was having a low day. She then went totally different personality wise towards me and said oh you’re one of those looks for attention mental health isn’t real and you should man up?!
I haven’t said anything because I felt like crap but is this not the reason why people do bad things?!! Sorry but had to get it off of my chest"
Sorry to hear OP that you were having a low day(s). Self care is required and should be administered - I'm sure moreso in today's Covid climate, people are way more affected than they are letting. ((((hugs))))
She was insensitive and dismissive to you. Perhaps she was kinda scared and not knowing how to react (but reacted appallingly).
I'd be giving myself "space" from her..... |
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By *d68Man
over a year ago
Airdrie |
Fuck that. Long winded I know stay with me. Former soldier here op, not looking for sympathy/kudos, or thanks I’ve done my duty! I am saying this because I’ve been through first gulf war (didn’t see action), Afghanistan (had to contend with ied’s), Iraq 03-04. Was forced to take Lariam/mefloquine (look it up),caught in ambush on the way to Saddam international airport (Baghdad international airport now) to recover a disabled cargo trailer ( yes you read that correctly)
I hunk of metal was more important than the lives of the soldiers from our recovery section tasked with this mission.
Mental health issues are real, I have PTSD, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation (from the side effects of mefloquine. Depression is like a black hole that’s the best way I can describe it . I’d suck every bit of good in your life as well as those around, leaving you numb and to apathetic to life in general. You can’t know how real it is until you experience it first hand. If you need to talk pm me, I’ll give you my number and we can chat mate. Chin up, one hour at a time. |
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What a vile woman. 
