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Stop writing racial preferences on profiles
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you." Could the same be said for 'no bisexual men' or 'looking for BBC?' | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you.Could the same be said for 'no bisexual men' or 'looking for BBC?' " Totally agree. Anything like that I think is bad. Fetishisation of race, trans people etc is also bad and should be a thing of the past | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you." Even though we would not put such comments on our profile we do have discriminatory text such as must be respectful only play with the the right couple we that is humans discriminate against our sexual partners all the time to fat to thin wrong hair colour wrong skin tone not educated enough not high enough social standing looking for BBC's. We need to stop being offended on others behalf. | |||
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Also I have that I don’t like beards on mine. I guess that could offend. Where do you draw the line? It’s a can of worms unfortunately. | |||
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"Nah leave people to put what they want I think. That way it’s easier to know what they’re really like. I’m not a fan of telling people not to put things. I’d rather see what they’re really like
Also I have that I don’t like beards on mine. I guess that could offend. Where do you draw the line? It’s a can of worms unfortunately. "I think a pretty good line to draw is the fact that people of colour have suffered from racial discrimination for hundreds of years and still suffer from it today. Having a beard is not comparable. You may not be a fan of telling someone what not to put, but at what cost? Are you happy for that freedom of expression to offend/discriminate on the grounds of race? | |||
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Should be ashamed of yourself with that sort of nonsense lol | |||
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"Nah leave people to put what they want I think. That way it’s easier to know what they’re really like. I’m not a fan of telling people not to put things. I’d rather see what they’re really like
Also I have that I don’t like beards on mine. I guess that could offend. Where do you draw the line? It’s a can of worms unfortunately.
I think a pretty good line to draw is the fact that people of colour have suffered from racial discrimination for hundreds of years and still suffer from it today. Having a beard is not comparable.
You may not be a fan of telling someone what not to put, but at what cost? Are you happy for that freedom of expression to offend/discriminate on the grounds of race?"I wouldn’t meet someone who had that on their profile. I don’t like to see it. You telling people not to put things means I won’t see it. That’s what I’m saying. | |||
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"Nah leave people to put what they want I think. That way it’s easier to know what they’re really like. I’m not a fan of telling people not to put things. I’d rather see what they’re really like
Also I have that I don’t like beards on mine. I guess that could offend. Where do you draw the line? It’s a can of worms unfortunately. "I guess you draw the line on those areas that a profile has no control over. Race, ethnicity, gender and birthplace. I can choose to grow a beard. I can't choose to have white skin, or have an Asian family background, or be Gay, or a Traveller. But as was said, and this is a more genuine example, I like red hair. Is this different to saying I like Brown skin? Marginal, but I'd say both are ok (and true, for me). But it's better than saying I won't meet a blonde. or I won't meet an Asian or an Aussie. | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you. Even though we would not put such comments on our profile we do have discriminatory text such as must be respectful only play with the the right couple we that is humans discriminate against our sexual partners all the time to fat to thin wrong hair colour wrong skin tone not educated enough not high enough social standing looking for BBC's. We need to stop being offended on others behalf." I'm not offended on other people's behalf. I'm calling out negative behaviour that perpetuates damage. As a white person I can find it offensive. | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you." we all are alowd our preferance, we dont find coloured people attractive, so its on our couple profile, no different to people saying no bi men is it???? | |||
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"I’m a mixed race man and see no real problem with it. It lets us know someone wouldn’t be interesting in meeting us. We don’t want to meet people over a certain age and have that written on our profile. That doesn’t make us ageist. You can’t help who you do and don’t find attractive. " I agree with the preferences as people way have had bad prior experiences, but I don't agree with the attractiveness as I don't think anyone can find an entire race unattractive. | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you." Have you really not got anything else in life to worry about? What about women that state “BBC only, no white guys”. Or couples that say “no single guys”? | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you.we all are alowd our preferance, we dont find coloured people attractive, so its on our couple profile, no different to people saying no bi men is it???? " You are not allowed to say ‘coloured’. You can say ‘people of colour’. | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you. Have you really not got anything else in life to worry about? What about women that state “BBC only, no white guys”. Or couples that say “no single guys”? " Was thinking this but couldn’t be arsed getting involved. I have honestly seen no white guys and BBC only on more profiles than the ones the op is mentioning. So that’s ok then? | |||
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" So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you.we all are alowd our preferance, we dont find coloured people attractive, so its on our couple profile, no different to people saying no bi men is it???? " Just say what you want, not what you don't want. a) it's more useful, and b) it's a shorter list, and c) it's less problematic in being read as any of the "ist"s. Why put effort into your profile for the people. you don't want to attract, just so they know they're not wanted? Does it help you find a better meet? Direct your energy to those that you do want to meet. | |||
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"I’m a mixed race man and see no real problem with it. It lets us know someone wouldn’t be interesting in meeting us. We don’t want to meet people over a certain age and have that written on our profile. That doesn’t make us ageist. You can’t help who you do and don’t find attractive. I agree with the preferences as people way have had bad prior experiences, but I don't agree with the attractiveness as I don't think anyone can find an entire race unattractive." Attraction is weird. There’s always an exception to the rule but it doesn’t change the fact that usually you don’t find that race, age, weight or whatever type of person attractive. For the record I find individuals attractive and don’t generalise but I’m not personally bothered if someone else does. | |||
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"No, people are allowed a preference. we are all different… Instead of being scared or pressured by the current social conventions just because the woke crowd keep banging on about it. It doesn’t make you a racist/homophobe/transphobe etc.. at all to have preferences. People on the receiving end should show respect and accept it, move on there’s always another person around the corner. A lot of people on here put BBC only… it’s their preference, but guys have to accept it. same as some people put white people only… People are maybe fed up with receiving hundreds of messages a day and having to spend ages filtering through them.. Either way, it is not racist to have preferences. " If you went to a shop and it said "we don't serve black or Asian people" would you think that was wrong, or it was just the owners preference and there it was justified? | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you.we all are alowd our preferance, we dont find coloured people attractive, so its on our couple profile, no different to people saying no bi men is it???? You are not allowed to say ‘coloured’. You can say ‘people of colour’. " lol, taken in the right way trust me. so how about bbc? is that woke enough for the op? | |||
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"No, people are allowed a preference. we are all different… Instead of being scared or pressured by the current social conventions just because the woke crowd keep banging on about it. It doesn’t make you a racist/homophobe/transphobe etc.. at all to have preferences. People on the receiving end should show respect and accept it, move on there’s always another person around the corner. A lot of people on here put BBC only… it’s their preference, but guys have to accept it. same as some people put white people only… People are maybe fed up with receiving hundreds of messages a day and having to spend ages filtering through them.. Either way, it is not racist to have preferences. If you went to a shop and it said "we don't serve black or Asian people" would you think that was wrong, or it was just the owners preference and there it was justified? " Will the owner be giving their body to that person? Not comparable. Sorry | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you.Could the same be said for 'no bisexual men' or 'looking for BBC?' " Yep. | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you." Agreed! X | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you.we all are alowd our preferance, we dont find coloured people attractive, so its on our couple profile, no different to people saying no bi men is it???? You are not allowed to say ‘coloured’. You can say ‘people of colour’. " I prefer to just be called a person. Don’t get me started on BAME as well  | |||
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"Good post OP. However, many on Fab are far too reactionary to ever understand why." Just have a different opinion and relate to real people of colour on a daily basis . | |||
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"No, people are allowed a preference. we are all different… Instead of being scared or pressured by the current social conventions just because the woke crowd keep banging on about it. It doesn’t make you a racist/homophobe/transphobe etc.. at all to have preferences. People on the receiving end should show respect and accept it, move on there’s always another person around the corner. A lot of people on here put BBC only… it’s their preference, but guys have to accept it. same as some people put white people only… People are maybe fed up with receiving hundreds of messages a day and having to spend ages filtering through them.. Either way, it is not racist to have preferences. If you went to a shop and it said "we don't serve black or Asian people" would you think that was wrong, or it was just the owners preference and there it was justified? " i dont have to fancy my shopkeeper for them to do thier job tho do i, or the shopkeeper doesnt have to fancy the customer, jesus, woke gone mad, worry about important things in life, I havnt seen a thread started about this subject by a black person, so why is it your problem | |||
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"Good post OP. However, many on Fab are far too reactionary to ever understand why." Yep. Also ove how people use 'woke' as a pejorative and don't grasp the inherent irony. | |||
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"No, people are allowed a preference. we are all different… Instead of being scared or pressured by the current social conventions just because the woke crowd keep banging on about it. It doesn’t make you a racist/homophobe/transphobe etc.. at all to have preferences. People on the receiving end should show respect and accept it, move on there’s always another person around the corner. A lot of people on here put BBC only… it’s their preference, but guys have to accept it. same as some people put white people only… People are maybe fed up with receiving hundreds of messages a day and having to spend ages filtering through them.. Either way, it is not racist to have preferences. If you went to a shop and it said "we don't serve black or Asian people" would you think that was wrong, or it was just the owners preference and there it was justified? i dont have to fancy my shopkeeper for them to do thier job tho do i, or the shopkeeper doesnt have to fancy the customer, jesus, woke gone mad, worry about important things in life, I havnt seen a thread started about this subject by a black person, so why is it your problem" Because they're human and they live in a society. Presumably one they want to be as fair and free of unnecessary prejudice as possible. | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. " There is that! X | |||
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"What about height preferences? Penis size preferences? Can we remove them too " From what I'm aware theu dont lead to reduced life opportunities. Unless you want to work in basketball or porn. Just saying. Shrug. | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. " Exactly! Let people be themselves. I prefer it! Easier to filter people out. | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. " What’s your definition of a bigot? Can only white people be bigots? | |||
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"Good post OP. However, many on Fab are far too reactionary to ever understand why. Yep. Also ove how people use 'woke' as a pejorative and don't grasp the inherent irony. " WOKE has been hijacked by the very left of liberalism and weaponised by the very right. People on the fringes of left and right tend to step right into the mire with their use of it | |||
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"What about height preferences? Penis size preferences? Can we remove them too From what I'm aware theu dont lead to reduced life opportunities. Unless you want to work in basketball or porn. Just saying. Shrug. " Does who fucks you on here so that? | |||
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"No, people are allowed a preference. we are all different… Instead of being scared or pressured by the current social conventions just because the woke crowd keep banging on about it. It doesn’t make you a racist/homophobe/transphobe etc.. at all to have preferences. People on the receiving end should show respect and accept it, move on there’s always another person around the corner. A lot of people on here put BBC only… it’s their preference, but guys have to accept it. same as some people put white people only… People are maybe fed up with receiving hundreds of messages a day and having to spend ages filtering through them.. Either way, it is not racist to have preferences. If you went to a shop and it said "we don't serve black or Asian people" would you think that was wrong, or it was just the owners preference and there it was justified? i dont have to fancy my shopkeeper for them to do thier job tho do i, or the shopkeeper doesnt have to fancy the customer, jesus, woke gone mad, worry about important things in life, I havnt seen a thread started about this subject by a black person, so why is it your problem Because they're human and they live in a society. Presumably one they want to be as fair and free of unnecessary prejudice as possible. " its not prejudice to not fancy a certain type of people tho is it, this is a swinging site, its perfectly ok to say what you are not looking for, saves them sanding messages, saves everybody wasted time | |||
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"Fucking moaning snow flake karens. Always got something to whine about" • Very useful comment. Extremely vacuous as well. | |||
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"I’ve seen plenty of profiles stating “black men only” or “bbc only please” this is no different to “no white guys” in my eyes. And it’s useful to see it stops me wasting my time and theirs. We all have our preferences and it’s completely legitimate on a site like this to outline those to get the contacts you want. If the sort of person that puts their own preferences on their profile puts you off or offends you well that’s probably saved you time and effort finding out another way that they are not the people for you. I’m all for it." | |||
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"No, people are allowed a preference. we are all different… Instead of being scared or pressured by the current social conventions just because the woke crowd keep banging on about it. It doesn’t make you a racist/homophobe/transphobe etc.. at all to have preferences. People on the receiving end should show respect and accept it, move on there’s always another person around the corner. A lot of people on here put BBC only… it’s their preference, but guys have to accept it. same as some people put white people only… People are maybe fed up with receiving hundreds of messages a day and having to spend ages filtering through them.. Either way, it is not racist to have preferences. If you went to a shop and it said "we don't serve black or Asian people" would you think that was wrong, or it was just the owners preference and there it was justified? i dont have to fancy my shopkeeper for them to do thier job tho do i, or the shopkeeper doesnt have to fancy the customer, jesus, woke gone mad, worry about important things in life, I havnt seen a thread started about this subject by a black person, so why is it your problem Because they're human and they live in a society. Presumably one they want to be as fair and free of unnecessary prejudice as possible. its not prejudice to not fancy a certain type of people tho is it, this is a swinging site, its perfectly ok to say what you are not looking for, saves them sanding messages, saves everybody wasted time" But would it not be correct without sounding totally ignorant and bigoted if you were to put “no brown hair or brown eyes… or no blonde hair or blue eyes? Rather than put no blacks, whites or Asian ? I just think there are definitely racist tendencies there, when you generalise an entire race of people | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. What’s your definition of a bigot? Can only white people be bigots? " agree, i lived in south africa for a bit, and the blacks, thats what the ask to be called there before anyone jumps down my throut, and they were the most racist people ive ever met, amongst themselves, as well as against white people | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you. Have you really not got anything else in life to worry about? What about women that state “BBC only, no white guys”. Or couples that say “no single guys”? Was thinking this but couldn’t be arsed getting involved. I have honestly seen no white guys and BBC only on more profiles than the ones the op is mentioning. So that’s ok then?" Yup! Right on the money! | |||
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"What about height preferences? Penis size preferences? Can we remove them too From what I'm aware theu dont lead to reduced life opportunities. Unless you want to work in basketball or porn. Just saying. Shrug. Does who fucks you on here so that? " Could you rephrase that please thickasfuck? I could infer bjt wouldn't want to get it wrong like. | |||
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"Well I suppose by the same token saying Black guys only is pretty much in the same ballpark when you think about it. Being mix race on both parents side I don't fit into any particular catagories, so I don't fit any preferences. Woukdnt it just be nicer to be open to all and to just accept people for who they are, and to see if they are nice people and respond to that? Think we would have a better world if that happend. " | |||
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"What about height preferences? Penis size preferences? Can we remove them too From what I'm aware theu dont lead to reduced life opportunities. Unless you want to work in basketball or porn. Just saying. Shrug. Does who fucks you on here so that? Could you rephrase that please thickasfuck? I could infer bjt wouldn't want to get it wrong like. " How does people not wanting to fucj you on here because of a sexual preference lead to reduced life opportunities | |||
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"No, people are allowed a preference. we are all different… Instead of being scared or pressured by the current social conventions just because the woke crowd keep banging on about it. It doesn’t make you a racist/homophobe/transphobe etc.. at all to have preferences. People on the receiving end should show respect and accept it, move on there’s always another person around the corner. A lot of people on here put BBC only… it’s their preference, but guys have to accept it. same as some people put white people only… People are maybe fed up with receiving hundreds of messages a day and having to spend ages filtering through them.. Either way, it is not racist to have preferences. If you went to a shop and it said "we don't serve black or Asian people" would you think that was wrong, or it was just the owners preference and there it was justified? i dont have to fancy my shopkeeper for them to do thier job tho do i, or the shopkeeper doesnt have to fancy the customer, jesus, woke gone mad, worry about important things in life, I havnt seen a thread started about this subject by a black person, so why is it your problem Because they're human and they live in a society. Presumably one they want to be as fair and free of unnecessary prejudice as possible. its not prejudice to not fancy a certain type of people tho is it, this is a swinging site, its perfectly ok to say what you are not looking for, saves them sanding messages, saves everybody wasted time But would it not be correct without sounding totally ignorant and bigoted if you were to put “no brown hair or brown eyes… or no blonde hair or blue eyes? Rather than put no blacks, whites or Asian ? I just think there are definitely racist tendencies there, when you generalise an entire race of people " I’d imagine some people who have that on their profiles may very well be racist. Some will just have it as a preference. Either way if it’s not for you, block and move on | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. What’s your definition of a bigot? Can only white people be bigots? " Being mixed race and often mistaken for.many things Indian mostly I can assure you bigots come in every colour shape and size. Personally I would rather people said things like black men.pnly no blacks, Asian, ect. That why I know mot to waste my time. Its disheartening enough being ignored when I send messages to the profiles I do contact without this | |||
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"I don’t get why everyone is getting so worked up over it. I am mixed race and have no problem with it. I’m also a bit overweight and have no problem with people saying they only want gym fit men. I also have a fairly average penis and don’t have a problem with people wanting huge ones. Preferences are personal and nobody else should be able to tell you what you can and can’t like." The people who get worked up are on 2 very different sides of the same fence. Both have oppressive views in their own way. | |||
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"Classic case of virtue signalling. Bore off. Let people have their own preferences. " Classic case of turning a request for essentially politeness into an attack personal freedom. Asking people not to negatively state their preferences in a way that could be taken discriminately isn't not letting people have them. I have preferences that are _ased on skin colour. Putting what I don't like on my profile doesn't help me meet anyone. So I don't bother. When it comes to my preferences, be it skin, tit size, hair colour, accent etc, I'll happily positively discriminate. But saying "No whites*" (*Or whatever) isn't the same. | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. What’s your definition of a bigot? Can only white people be bigots? agree, i lived in south africa for a bit, and the blacks, thats what the ask to be called there before anyone jumps down my throut, and they were the most racist people ive ever met, amongst themselves, as well as against white people" Funny what happens to the brain when living in a post colonial racist society. | |||
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"whilst i agree with your sentiments and we must all be very careful what we say..this is a different context altogether, its not a job interview,or a school or rental accommodation that you are talking about here its about having intimate contact with someone.is it any different to saying i dont want to meet anyone over 40 or under 30?? or BBW need not apply etc. Minefield i know. If you someone messages you do you look at the profile to see what it's like? Most do, and most ignore the messages from people they don't feel attracted to or fulfill their "preferences". So is there really any need to write " no blacks or asians" on a profile. " I agree with this. I have loads of preferences. I wouldn’t put them on my profile. I honestly don’t see a need. Especially if it can be seen as controversial. Surely it’s common sense! Which is seriously lacking on here. | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. What’s your definition of a bigot? Can only white people be bigots? " You OK hun? | |||
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"I was talking to a women on here for a while… we met for a coffee and then later she messaged me saying that I looked a little “foreign” I said I’m mixed faced… my mums white and dad is Turkish… She said sorry my preference is English only… I said my mum is white and is born here and far as I can tell all her ancestors are lol and my dad was also born here… so does that not make me English? She said sorry it’s my choice then I felt like I was arguing with an idiot.. I’d rather not have but I decided to educate her anyways… and when I did she blocked me haha " Would you have preferred she had that written on her profile to save you time and energy? | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. What’s your definition of a bigot? Can only white people be bigots? You OK hun? " I’m fine thanks. | |||
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"I was talking to a women on here for a while… we met for a coffee and then later she messaged me saying that I looked a little “foreign” I said I’m mixed faced… my mums white and dad is Turkish… She said sorry my preference is English only… I said my mum is white and is born here and far as I can tell all her ancestors are lol and my dad was also born here… so does that not make me English? She said sorry it’s my choice then I felt like I was arguing with an idiot.. I’d rather not have but I decided to educate her anyways… and when I did she blocked me haha Would you have preferred she had that written on her profile to save you time and energy?" She said no Asians or black people? Would I have fitted in that category? Didn’t think I did.. So what is her preference exactly… | |||
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"I don't know. I think it's easier if the bigots can be identified and avoided. What’s your definition of a bigot? Can only white people be bigots? agree, i lived in south africa for a bit, and the blacks, thats what the ask to be called there before anyone jumps down my throut, and they were the most racist people ive ever met, amongst themselves, as well as against white people Funny what happens to the brain when living in a post colonial racist society. " I think tribalism was there long before the colonials ever were, so whats your point? | |||
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"Ideally I would prefer something resembling "...only interested in Caucasians" as opposed to "...not looking for Asians!, etc". The former is a somewhat 'harmless' preference; the latter comes across as contempt." | |||
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"I was talking to a women on here for a while… we met for a coffee and then later she messaged me saying that I looked a little “foreign” I said I’m mixed faced… my mums white and dad is Turkish… She said sorry my preference is English only… I said my mum is white and is born here and far as I can tell all her ancestors are lol and my dad was also born here… so does that not make me English? She said sorry it’s my choice then I felt like I was arguing with an idiot.. I’d rather not have but I decided to educate her anyways… and when I did she blocked me haha Would you have preferred she had that written on her profile to save you time and energy? She said no Asians or black people? Would I have fitted in that category? Didn’t think I did.. So what is her preference exactly…" By the sounds of it she means White British only. She should have that written on there. I’m mixed Asian and White British but know people think I’m Asian so I just avoid profiles with anything like that written on. | |||
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"What about height preferences? Penis size preferences? Can we remove them too From what I'm aware theu dont lead to reduced life opportunities. Unless you want to work in basketball or porn. Just saying. Shrug. Does who fucks you on here so that? Could you rephrase that please thickasfuck? I could infer bjt wouldn't want to get it wrong like. How does people not wanting to fucj you on here because of a sexual preference lead to reduced life opportunities " I didn't say that. If you're black you're more likely(compared to being white) to die younger, have reduced life opportunities, have a worse education, earn less money, worse housing, get arrested by the rozzers, die in custody aftwr being arrested, etc wtc etc due to institutional racism if not nothing else. So by saying no blacks(not my thing/im not racist /it's my preference) on theiir profile them that's touching the tip of the tip of the (racist) iceberg. I'd like to not get worked up by it, but in my view it's everyone's problem to try to work in their own way to a solution. Or what's the point of living in a world of other people if you can't make things both a meritocracy and, (to be 'fluffy'..) nicer. Only way were going to progress as a species. The people who deny it are shooting everyone else in the foot(or back, if you live in America and are a policeman). | |||
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"What about height preferences? Penis size preferences? Can we remove them too From what I'm aware theu dont lead to reduced life opportunities. Unless you want to work in basketball or porn. Just saying. Shrug. Does who fucks you on here so that? Could you rephrase that please thickasfuck? I could infer bjt wouldn't want to get it wrong like. How does people not wanting to fucj you on here because of a sexual preference lead to reduced life opportunities I didn't say that. If you're black you're more likely(compared to being white) to die younger, have reduced life opportunities, have a worse education, earn less money, worse housing, get arrested by the rozzers, die in custody aftwr being arrested, etc wtc etc due to institutional racism if not nothing else. So by saying no blacks(not my thing/im not racist /it's my preference) on theiir profile them that's touching the tip of the tip of the (racist) iceberg. I'd like to not get worked up by it, but in my view it's everyone's problem to try to work in their own way to a solution. Or what's the point of living in a world of other people if you can't make things both a meritocracy and, (to be 'fluffy'..) nicer. Only way were going to progress as a species. The people who deny it are shooting everyone else in the foot(or back, if you live in America and are a policeman). " | |||
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"I do half agree If I put “no fatties” on my profile it would be considered mean The preferred is “looking for slim gym fit” The question is, would people be equally annoyed with “looking for white people only” Probably, I don’t think there’s any pleasing these people " I agree. There seem to be many people whose main hobby is taking offence on behalf of others. In life, you can either tip-toe around trying to cater for everyone's idiosyncrasies, or you can just be yourself and be honest. I prefer the latter. | |||
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"I was talking to a women on here for a while… we met for a coffee and then later she messaged me saying that I looked a little “foreign” I said I’m mixed faced… my mums white and dad is Turkish… She said sorry my preference is English only… I said my mum is white and is born here and far as I can tell all her ancestors are lol and my dad was also born here… so does that not make me English? She said sorry it’s my choice then I felt like I was arguing with an idiot.. I’d rather not have but I decided to educate her anyways… and when I did she blocked me haha Would you have preferred she had that written on her profile to save you time and energy? She said no Asians or black people? Would I have fitted in that category? Didn’t think I did.. So what is her preference exactly… By the sounds of it she means White British only. She should have that written on there. I’m mixed Asian and White British but know people think I’m Asian so I just avoid profiles with anything like that written on." My mum is white British? My dad is Turkish but born here… She should have put “ put white only” think that might have been better? So just because I looked a little foreign in person…. That put her off? I guess it’s just sexual preference and not racism… ? | |||
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"I was talking to a women on here for a while… we met for a coffee and then later she messaged me saying that I looked a little “foreign” I said I’m mixed faced… my mums white and dad is Turkish… She said sorry my preference is English only… I said my mum is white and is born here and far as I can tell all her ancestors are lol and my dad was also born here… so does that not make me English? She said sorry it’s my choice then I felt like I was arguing with an idiot.. I’d rather not have but I decided to educate her anyways… and when I did she blocked me haha Would you have preferred she had that written on her profile to save you time and energy?" This one isn't quite the same as what's being discussed, in that she met him, continued to message, and then stopped and dropped when she "found out" he wasn't white enough for her. If he wasn't;t her type, she could see that in photos, or when they met etc. But to say "It's a no from me" because he's mentioned some family background is actually not right, and how do you put that on a profile? "Wanted, 100% white English people, but if I find out that you're not quite white enough or English enough, I might pull out after meeting, even though I didn't;t realise and it was only after you told me" | |||
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"I was talking to a women on here for a while… we met for a coffee and then later she messaged me saying that I looked a little “foreign” I said I’m mixed faced… my mums white and dad is Turkish… She said sorry my preference is English only… I said my mum is white and is born here and far as I can tell all her ancestors are lol and my dad was also born here… so does that not make me English? She said sorry it’s my choice then I felt like I was arguing with an idiot.. I’d rather not have but I decided to educate her anyways… and when I did she blocked me haha Would you have preferred she had that written on her profile to save you time and energy? She said no Asians or black people? Would I have fitted in that category? Didn’t think I did.. So what is her preference exactly… By the sounds of it she means White British only. She should have that written on there. I’m mixed Asian and White British but know people think I’m Asian so I just avoid profiles with anything like that written on. My mum is white British? My dad is Turkish but born here… She should have put “ put white only” think that might have been better? So just because I looked a little foreign in person…. That put her off? I guess it’s just sexual preference and not racism… ? " It could be either. I don’t know her so can’t comment. The looking a little foreign comment sounds a bit racist but not everyone with a preference discriminates against everyone outside of it. | |||
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"I was talking to a women on here for a while… we met for a coffee and then later she messaged me saying that I looked a little “foreign” I said I’m mixed faced… my mums white and dad is Turkish… She said sorry my preference is English only… I said my mum is white and is born here and far as I can tell all her ancestors are lol and my dad was also born here… so does that not make me English? She said sorry it’s my choice then I felt like I was arguing with an idiot.. I’d rather not have but I decided to educate her anyways… and when I did she blocked me haha Would you have preferred she had that written on her profile to save you time and energy? This one isn't quite the same as what's being discussed, in that she met him, continued to message, and then stopped and dropped when she "found out" he wasn't white enough for her. If he wasn't;t her type, she could see that in photos, or when they met etc. But to say "It's a no from me" because he's mentioned some family background is actually not right, and how do you put that on a profile? "Wanted, 100% white English people, but if I find out that you're not quite white enough or English enough, I might pull out after meeting, even though I didn't;t realise and it was only after you told me"" The coffee meet was fine, when I got home she messaged and said she didn’t know I was foreign and I explained my racial background to her.. and she said sorry I only am attracted to white English only.. I would have rather her say sorry you wasn’t my type… I think she felt deceived lol | |||
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"I do half agree If I put “no fatties” on my profile it would be considered mean The preferred is “looking for slim gym fit” The question is, would people be equally annoyed with “looking for white people only” Probably, I don’t think there’s any pleasing these people I agree. There seem to be many people whose main hobby is taking offence on behalf of others. In life, you can either tip-toe around trying to cater for everyone's idiosyncrasies, or you can just be yourself and be honest. I prefer the latter." The feeling of being marginalised because of someone else's racial preference isn't an idiosyncrasy. | |||
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"First of all, can open... worms everywhere! Secondly, my thoughts are this... when considering any "ism's" or "ist's" or simply they way one interacts with others in a digital environment I believe that the best course of action is to carefully consider wether you would say that to someone when stood face to face with them in a bar or in the case of fab a swingers club for example I.e randomly walk up to a couple and proclaim "wow you wife is fit I'd fucking ruin her" (yes we have had something along those lines as an opening message) so when it comes to prejudice would it be appropriate to walk around a club and inform everyone "no blacks no asians etc"? Yes everyone has a preference but does it need shouting from the rooftops? I find the trouble with the likes of fab and we've been guilty of doing this is that people have a checklist of preferences and if someone doesnt match everything on that list then the conversation is a non starter however when you meet people in clubs or at socials you find that those people you discarded online so easily are actually lovely people that you do click with. Mr Hayes. " That is definitely a very sensible approach. | |||
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"I was talking to a women on here for a while… we met for a coffee and then later she messaged me saying that I looked a little “foreign” I said I’m mixed faced… my mums white and dad is Turkish… She said sorry my preference is English only… I said my mum is white and is born here and far as I can tell all her ancestors are lol and my dad was also born here… so does that not make me English? She said sorry it’s my choice then I felt like I was arguing with an idiot.. I’d rather not have but I decided to educate her anyways… and when I did she blocked me haha Would you have preferred she had that written on her profile to save you time and energy? This one isn't quite the same as what's being discussed, in that she met him, continued to message, and then stopped and dropped when she "found out" he wasn't white enough for her. If he wasn't;t her type, she could see that in photos, or when they met etc. But to say "It's a no from me" because he's mentioned some family background is actually not right, and how do you put that on a profile? "Wanted, 100% white English people, but if I find out that you're not quite white enough or English enough, I might pull out after meeting, even though I didn't;t realise and it was only after you told me"" You’re more than likely correct. I would be a bit pissed off if it happened to me but I haven’t got time to be offended by things like that. I would see it as a lucky escape. | |||
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"People are free to put whatever on their profile. Who are you to tell them to stop?? It's preference at the end of the day, nothing to do with race!" this all the way, i have many friends of a non white origion, doesnt mean i have to fancy them tho does it? | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol " This just seems like narrow minded stereo typing but each to their own lol | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol " I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference | |||
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"People are free to put whatever on their profile. Who are you to tell them to stop?? It's preference at the end of the day, nothing to do with race!" When you specifically mention race and put “no” next to it… it’s definitely to do race | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference " So maybe there is an underlining issue which is never really surfaced and covered mildly which would be deemed less offensive | |||
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"The worlds went a bit crazy with folk getting butt hurt easily.. we like what we like.. " This | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference So maybe there is an underlining issue which is never really surfaced and covered mildly which would be deemed less offensive " Maybe. I just don’t like labelling people with a preference as racist. There will be plenty of racist people with that preference but that does not mean that everyone with that preference is racist. | |||
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"We like what we like and only people who are rasist actually really care about labels. "Labels ? Which labels would that be then ? | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference So maybe there is an underlining issue which is never really surfaced and covered mildly which would be deemed less offensive Maybe. I just don’t like labelling people with a preference as racist. There will be plenty of racist people with that preference but that does not mean that everyone with that preference is racist." You can have a preference for onee type of wallpaper over another. Thing is wallpaper isn't sentient and doesn't have feelings and it doesn't care if it gets chosen for sex over another wallpaper. | |||
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"We like what we like and only people who are rasist actually really care about labels.
Labels ? Which labels would that be then ?"I love their logic. If only i could remotely understand it. Thank god they justified their opinion. | |||
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"What about women asking for vwe black guys!!! Is that ok op..." They're obviously comfortable with their'preferences'. | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference So maybe there is an underlining issue which is never really surfaced and covered mildly which would be deemed less offensive Maybe. I just don’t like labelling people with a preference as racist. There will be plenty of racist people with that preference but that does not mean that everyone with that preference is racist. You can have a preference for onee type of wallpaper over another. Thing is wallpaper isn't sentient and doesn't have feelings and it doesn't care if it gets chosen for sex over another wallpaper. " I’m not sure I get the analogy but are you suggesting if you’re an ethnic minority you’ve got a right to be chosen for sex? As an ethnic minority I like to be chosen because they like me as a person not because of my ethnic origin. I feel the exact same way about jobs with diversity quotas as well. I’d rather be chosen because I’m the right person rather than to tick a box | |||
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"I’m a mixed race man and see no real problem with it. It lets us know someone wouldn’t be interesting in meeting us. We don’t want to meet people over a certain age and have that written on our profile. That doesn’t make us ageist. You can’t help who you do and don’t find attractive. ...but I don't agree with the attractiveness as I don't think anyone can find an entire race unattractive." Exactly this!! | |||
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"I’m a mixed race man and see no real problem with it. It lets us know someone wouldn’t be interesting in meeting us. We don’t want to meet people over a certain age and have that written on our profile. That doesn’t make us ageist. You can’t help who you do and don’t find attractive. ...but I don't agree with the attractiveness as I don't think anyone can find an entire race unattractive. Exactly this!! " The same can be said for any preference though | |||
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"Ok here is one for you all you “preference” people… You walk in to a bar, you see someone stood there who looks Italian… and find them very attractive.. you then get talking.. seems like a nice person.. he then tells you he or she is Asian not Italian.. what do you do? Your fab profile states no Asians lol but you really fancy this person? " There’s exceptions to every rule. Our age preference is nobody over 40. Would I say no to Nigella Lawson? Not a chance | |||
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"Ok here is one for you all you “preference” people… You walk in to a bar, you see someone stood there who looks Italian… and find them very attractive.. you then get talking.. seems like a nice person.. he then tells you he or she is Asian not Italian.. what do you do? Your fab profile states no Asians lol but you really fancy this person? There’s exceptions to every rule. Our age preference is nobody over 40. Would I say no to Nigella Lawson? Not a chance " only cause you want a nice dinner | |||
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"Ok here is one for you all you “preference” people… You walk in to a bar, you see someone stood there who looks Italian… and find them very attractive.. you then get talking.. seems like a nice person.. he then tells you he or she is Asian not Italian.. what do you do? Your fab profile states no Asians lol but you really fancy this person? There’s exceptions to every rule. Our age preference is nobody over 40. Would I say no to Nigella Lawson? Not a chance only cause you want a nice dinner "I’m not even interested in the actual food, I could just listen to her talk about it for hours | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference So maybe there is an underlining issue which is never really surfaced and covered mildly which would be deemed less offensive Maybe. I just don’t like labelling people with a preference as racist. There will be plenty of racist people with that preference but that does not mean that everyone with that preference is racist. You can have a preference for onee type of wallpaper over another. Thing is wallpaper isn't sentient and doesn't have feelings and it doesn't care if it gets chosen for sex over another wallpaper. " thats a new fetish, everydays a schoolday, mind you have you seen the price of wallpaper!!! | |||
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"Positive discrimination is more acceptable, I like blondes, I like midgets, I like people with piercings etc. I have seen this on here with women only wanting BBC, and I'm not sure where that sits actually. But what you cannot do, as the OP rightly says, is tell people who shouldn't contact you. If someone does and they are not "your preference" you are welcome to ignore it. But you are not welcome to tell them not to get in touch. " Perhaps this could be achieved if members could simply block a wider range of type person which simply they don't want to meet? As when those who don't not meet your criteria are told no thank you they often over react. | |||
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"I’m a mixed race man and see no real problem with it. It lets us know someone wouldn’t be interesting in meeting us. We don’t want to meet people over a certain age and have that written on our profile. That doesn’t make us ageist. You can’t help who you do and don’t find attractive. ...but I don't agree with the attractiveness as I don't think anyone can find an entire race unattractive. Exactly this!! The same can be said for any preference though" I don't agree. I'm not offended if someone has "gym fit only" or if I am out of their age range. However, if they put "no fat/overweight" or "no older women" that could rankle. Have whatever "preferences" you like. It just doesn't need to be stated, does it? (Though, like others have said, it does make for easier filtering!) | |||
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"I’m a mixed race man and see no real problem with it. It lets us know someone wouldn’t be interesting in meeting us. We don’t want to meet people over a certain age and have that written on our profile. That doesn’t make us ageist. You can’t help who you do and don’t find attractive. ...but I don't agree with the attractiveness as I don't think anyone can find an entire race unattractive. Exactly this!! The same can be said for any preference though I don't agree. I'm not offended if someone has "gym fit only" or if I am out of their age range. However, if they put "no fat/overweight" or "no older women" that could rankle. Have whatever "preferences" you like. It just doesn't need to be stated, does it? (Though, like others have said, it does make for easier filtering!) " I feel like I’ve hijacked this thread a bit so this is the last I’ll say on it. I’m not disagreeing at all I’m only giving my perspective as someone who would fall into the ‘Asian men’ category. I’d rather someone stated it so I’d know not to bother. They may or may not be racist, either way I’d just avoid them. I’m not for them and judging by their profile they’re not for me. | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference So maybe there is an underlining issue which is never really surfaced and covered mildly which would be deemed less offensive Maybe. I just don’t like labelling people with a preference as racist. There will be plenty of racist people with that preference but that does not mean that everyone with that preference is racist. You can have a preference for onee type of wallpaper over another. Thing is wallpaper isn't sentient and doesn't have feelings and it doesn't care if it gets chosen for sex over another wallpaper. I’m not sure I get the analogy but are you suggesting if you’re an ethnic minority you’ve got a right to be chosen for sex? As an ethnic minority I like to be chosen because they like me as a person not because of my ethnic origin. I feel the exact same way about jobs with diversity quotas as well. I’d rather be chosen because I’m the right person rather than to tick a box " No not at all. Everyone has a right to be chosen free of prejudice and via meritocratic reasons for a job. Sadly it often doesn't happen. Further you'd expect someone not to choose someone for a job or sex on a similar basis. Orientalsim is shit in many ways, but i think a lot of people find the 'other' unconsciously(or otherwise) attractive if they've not been exposed to it before. | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference So maybe there is an underlining issue which is never really surfaced and covered mildly which would be deemed less offensive Maybe. I just don’t like labelling people with a preference as racist. There will be plenty of racist people with that preference but that does not mean that everyone with that preference is racist. You can have a preference for onee type of wallpaper over another. Thing is wallpaper isn't sentient and doesn't have feelings and it doesn't care if it gets chosen for sex over another wallpaper. thats a new fetish, everydays a schoolday, mind you have you seen the price of wallpaper!!!" I'd say i prefer whitewashing but the irony would be in bad taste. | |||
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" We've been on here for a while now and I've become increasingly aware that certain profiles will state something like "no blacks, no asians" often followed by "sorry, just our preference". I wanted to draw attention to this and appeal to people to stop writing it. We're a white couple so I'm not pretending to speak on behalf of anyone but I don't see these statements about racial preference as much different from signs people used to have saying "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs". Things like that rightly are a relic from the past. But for some reason people feel that similar sentiments are justified on here. I'm not suggesting that anyone who writes this is overtly racist. But I think it needs pointing out that these statements are almost always directed to already marginalised groups that are in receipt of discrimination. Consequently, adding racial preferences to a profile could increase feelings of shame, humiliation, and inferiority. So if you have something like this on your profile, please take it off. Think about how you would feel if you'd had to deal with discrimination all your life and that statement was targeted at you." Thank you for these words | |||
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"I’m a mixed race man and see no real problem with it. It lets us know someone wouldn’t be interesting in meeting us. We don’t want to meet people over a certain age and have that written on our profile. That doesn’t make us ageist. You can’t help who you do and don’t find attractive. ...but I don't agree with the attractiveness as I don't think anyone can find an entire race unattractive. Exactly this!! The same can be said for any preference though I don't agree. I'm not offended if someone has "gym fit only" or if I am out of their age range. However, if they put "no fat/overweight" or "no older women" that could rankle. Have whatever "preferences" you like. It just doesn't need to be stated, does it? (Though, like others have said, it does make for easier filtering!) " If you don't state any preferences at all... How on earth is this supposed to work..? Just loads of emails (and we all know the quality of those) wasting everyone's time. People are different... Thankfully.. If people want to meet other people they have a preference for... It makes sense to refine the market surely. I mean if you fancy a burger why go into a cake shop. | |||
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"Have to admit though… putting a racial preference is ignorant.. I mean to generalise an entire race… Example… putting “no asians”… you wouldn’t find 1 attractive person out of nearly 5 billion people lol I agree to a certain extent but that’s the same with any preference. You could find someone attractive who is older/younger, heavier/lighter, etc. than your usual preference So maybe there is an underlining issue which is never really surfaced and covered mildly which would be deemed less offensive Maybe. I just don’t like labelling people with a preference as racist. There will be plenty of racist people with that preference but that does not mean that everyone with that preference is racist. You can have a preference for onee type of wallpaper over another. Thing is wallpaper isn't sentient and doesn't have feelings and it doesn't care if it gets chosen for sex over another wallpaper. thats a new fetish, everydays a schoolday, mind you have you seen the price of wallpaper!!! I'd say i prefer whitewashing but the irony would be in bad taste. " atleast a role of walpaper has a hole in it, but a tin of paint is just wierd | |||
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"I’m a mixed race man and see no real problem with it. It lets us know someone wouldn’t be interesting in meeting us. We don’t want to meet people over a certain age and have that written on our profile. That doesn’t make us ageist. You can’t help who you do and don’t find attractive. ...but I don't agree with the attractiveness as I don't think anyone can find an entire race unattractive. Exactly this!! The same can be said for any preference though I don't agree. I'm not offended if someone has "gym fit only" or if I am out of their age range. However, if they put "no fat/overweight" or "no older women" that could rankle. Have whatever "preferences" you like. It just doesn't need to be stated, does it? (Though, like others have said, it does make for easier filtering!) If you don't state any preferences at all... How on earth is this supposed to work..? Just loads of emails (and we all know the quality of those) wasting everyone's time. People are different... Thankfully.. If people want to meet other people they have a preference for... It makes sense to refine the market surely. I mean if you fancy a burger why go into a cake shop. " "People are different" What a fucking profound statement. Unfortunately in a few years time it will be illegal to say something like this thanks to the woke brigade. | |||
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"I get where you are coming from but I’d rather people stay true to themselves that way they are easier to out "Absolutely right. | |||
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"I kinda get the point of telling people what you are after, as opposed to telling people what you are not! Positives, not negatives But at the end of the day you are never going to please everyone…. People are always going to try and push the line and get offended for the sake of being offended…" this very much, and the irony is, they are and have said they are both white, so wht concern of theirs is it? | |||
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"15 days to xmas.. just saying "347 hours! | |||
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"So many posts! Can't read them all so I expect whatever I say has been said before, but still... The OP is clearly right. Doesn't mean you have to fuck someone you're not attracted to, but don't have to broadcast to the world that it's for discriminatory reasons. As to those who say preference is just preference - we know it's not. Our preferences are shaped by so many things, including received morality. If you think you don't like anyone of a certain race, it's worthwhile questioning that. Doesn't mean you should sleep with them if you're not attracted, but broadcasting your rule or fetish isn't called for. As for no beards etc - not too into that either; positive profiles are so much sexier! But beards aren't a protected characteristic, and there is some rationale between which characteristics are and are not protected." This | |||
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"I hear what you are saying OP. I personally find such comments in poor taste and I wouldn't engage with such a profile as that is my preference. Same as anyone name calling using terms such as Karen, snowflakes or woke are not for me. But it is their profile and they can do what they wish with it. I think personally it's a very old fashioned way of declaring preference and I think the next younger generation are better at explaining what they want in general. " I see you have your preferences set to 29 to 48 on your profile. I can only imagine the hurt it brings to anyone over 50 to see that. I can only hope the next, younger generation are not so ageist. | |||
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"I hear what you are saying OP. I personally find such comments in poor taste and I wouldn't engage with such a profile as that is my preference. Same as anyone name calling using terms such as Karen, snowflakes or woke are not for me. But it is their profile and they can do what they wish with it. I think personally it's a very old fashioned way of declaring preference and I think the next younger generation are better at explaining what they want in general. I see you have your preferences set to 29 to 48 on your profile. I can only imagine the hurt it brings to anyone over 50 to see that. I can only hope the next, younger generation are not so ageist." Sorry did I say people aren't allowed preferences? Just mentioned my own preferences of not meeting people who use certain kind of language  | |||
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"So many posts! Can't read them all so I expect whatever I say has been said before, but still... The OP is clearly right. Doesn't mean you have to fuck someone you're not attracted to, but don't have to broadcast to the world that it's for discriminatory reasons. As to those who say preference is just preference - we know it's not. Our preferences are shaped by so many things, including received morality. If you think you don't like anyone of a certain race, it's worthwhile questioning that. Doesn't mean you should sleep with them if you're not attracted, but broadcasting your rule or fetish isn't called for. As for no beards etc - not too into that either; positive profiles are so much sexier! But beards aren't a protected characteristic, and there is some rationale between which characteristics are and are not protected." You mention protected characteristics a couple of times so clearly they are significant. Would you mind explaining what a protected characteristic is and what / who they are protected from? I'm not familiar with that at all. | |||
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"I hear what you are saying OP. I personally find such comments in poor taste and I wouldn't engage with such a profile as that is my preference. Same as anyone name calling using terms such as Karen, snowflakes or woke are not for me. But it is their profile and they can do what they wish with it. I think personally it's a very old fashioned way of declaring preference and I think the next younger generation are better at explaining what they want in general. " Thanks. I agree people cam do what they want with their profile which is why I hope that never came across in my posts. I can see that a lot of young people are definitely more progressive in their views, but also in terms of being open to their views being questioned, which I think is lost on more older people | |||
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"I hear what you are saying OP. I personally find such comments in poor taste and I wouldn't engage with such a profile as that is my preference. Same as anyone name calling using terms such as Karen, snowflakes or woke are not for me. But it is their profile and they can do what they wish with it. I think personally it's a very old fashioned way of declaring preference and I think the next younger generation are better at explaining what they want in general. I see you have your preferences set to 29 to 48 on your profile. I can only imagine the hurt it brings to anyone over 50 to see that. I can only hope the next, younger generation are not so ageist." So you wouldn’t meet someone who is 49? Lol I can see how silly that looks… same when someone mentions race.. when you stereo type a whole continent… | |||
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"Glad nobody put don’t like old fat blokes with little willies or that’s me out" R o f l | |||
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"So many posts! Can't read them all so I expect whatever I say has been said before, but still... The OP is clearly right. Doesn't mean you have to fuck someone you're not attracted to, but don't have to broadcast to the world that it's for discriminatory reasons. As to those who say preference is just preference - we know it's not. Our preferences are shaped by so many things, including received morality. If you think you don't like anyone of a certain race, it's worthwhile questioning that. Doesn't mean you should sleep with them if you're not attracted, but broadcasting your rule or fetish isn't called for. As for no beards etc - not too into that either; positive profiles are so much sexier! But beards aren't a protected characteristic, and there is some rationale between which characteristics are and are not protected. You mention protected characteristics a couple of times so clearly they are significant. Would you mind explaining what a protected characteristic is and what / who they are protected from? I'm not familiar with that at all. " It's from the Eqalitu Act 2010 "The Act protects people against discrimination, harassment or victimisation in employment, and as users of private and public services _ased on nine protected characteristics: age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation." | |||
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"I hate seeing 'bbc only'. How low is that to reduce a human being to a body part _ased on colour." Very much agree!!!! In line with the OP how you express what you want is very important. Constant use of BBC is reductive and lazy (either as a self descriptive term or describing someone else). | |||
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"I hear what you are saying OP. I personally find such comments in poor taste and I wouldn't engage with such a profile as that is my preference. Same as anyone name calling using terms such as Karen, snowflakes or woke are not for me. But it is their profile and they can do what they wish with it. I think personally it's a very old fashioned way of declaring preference and I think the next younger generation are better at explaining what they want in general. Thanks. I agree people cam do what they want with their profile which is why I hope that never came across in my posts. I can see that a lot of young people are definitely more progressive in their views, but also in terms of being open to their views being questioned, which I think is lost on more older people" so your not racist, not that you have any proffe of that, but you are agest, thats ok then, oh dear, this thread isnt going the way you thought is it | |||
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"So many posts! Can't read them all so I expect whatever I say has been said before, but still... The OP is clearly right. Doesn't mean you have to fuck someone you're not attracted to, but don't have to broadcast to the world that it's for discriminatory reasons. As to those who say preference is just preference - we know it's not. Our preferences are shaped by so many things, including received morality. If you think you don't like anyone of a certain race, it's worthwhile questioning that. Doesn't mean you should sleep with them if you're not attracted, but broadcasting your rule or fetish isn't called for. As for no beards etc - not too into that either; positive profiles are so much sexier! But beards aren't a protected characteristic, and there is some rationale between which characteristics are and are not protected. You mention protected characteristics a couple of times so clearly they are significant. Would you mind explaining what a protected characteristic is and what / who they are protected from? I'm not familiar with that at all. It's from the Eqalitu Act 2010 "The Act protects people against discrimination, harassment or victimisation in employment, and as users of private and public services _ased on nine protected characteristics: age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation."" Who you're attracted to isn't covered by the Equalities Act. | |||
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"What about no northerners?" But that's only coz they turn up with their Whippets, keep their flat caps on and saying 'ay up and by gum' | |||
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"What about no northerners? But that's only coz they turn up with their Whippets, keep their flat caps on and saying 'ay up and by gum' "We also pour gravy on everything. If anyone has no gravy in their bio that’s us fucked | |||
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"It's undercover racism in my opinion. Generally id go for white women but does that mean I'd exclude any other race because of the colour of their skin? Absolutely not " It could be, but I don't think it necessarily is undercover racism. I find some women of all ethnicities attractive and some women of all ethnicities unattractive. That said, I can't control who I find attractive. | |||
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"So many posts! Can't read them all so I expect whatever I say has been said before, but still... The OP is clearly right. Doesn't mean you have to fuck someone you're not attracted to, but don't have to broadcast to the world that it's for discriminatory reasons. As to those who say preference is just preference - we know it's not. Our preferences are shaped by so many things, including received morality. If you think you don't like anyone of a certain race, it's worthwhile questioning that. Doesn't mean you should sleep with them if you're not attracted, but broadcasting your rule or fetish isn't called for. As for no beards etc - not too into that either; positive profiles are so much sexier! But beards aren't a protected characteristic, and there is some rationale between which characteristics are and are not protected. You mention protected characteristics a couple of times so clearly they are significant. Would you mind explaining what a protected characteristic is and what / who they are protected from? I'm not familiar with that at all. It's from the Eqalitu Act 2010 "The Act protects people against discrimination, harassment or victimisation in employment, and as users of private and public services _ased on nine protected characteristics: age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation."" Thanks for clarifying... Isn't that intended to apply to employment and services...? In what way would it apply to social media sites? Or are you suggesting that it is used as a guideline..? Would you apply each of the 9 protected attributes equally? So for example.... Youre not allowed to express a preference for age,marital status, gender reassignment.. Ie are some of the 9 more protected than others? | |||
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"It's from the Eqalitu Act 2010 "The Act protects people against discrimination, harassment or victimisation in employment, and as users of private and public services _ased on nine protected characteristics: age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation."" Maybe Fab should come into line with the Equality Act 2010 and ban any preference settings _ased on "age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation." | |||
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"I hear what you are saying OP. I personally find such comments in poor taste and I wouldn't engage with such a profile as that is my preference. Same as anyone name calling using terms such as Karen, snowflakes or woke are not for me. But it is their profile and they can do what they wish with it. I think personally it's a very old fashioned way of declaring preference and I think the next younger generation are better at explaining what they want in general. Thanks. I agree people cam do what they want with their profile which is why I hope that never came across in my posts. I can see that a lot of young people are definitely more progressive in their views, but also in terms of being open to their views being questioned, which I think is lost on more older peopleso your not racist, not that you have any proffe of that, but you are agest, thats ok then, oh dear, this thread isnt going the way you thought is it" Not really, everyone has preferences shock horror. We have an age range because I don't want to meet 18 year olds (as I'm old enough to be their mother). I however have a few on my friends list who are outside my age range as it's an indicator. I have nowhere said nobody over the age of 50 have I? Because funnily enough I'm wise enough to understand that though the vast majority of people I'm attracted to are within that age range, there are some who are outside it. Positivity breads positivity and all that | |||
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"What about height preferences? Penis size preferences? Can we remove them too From what I'm aware theu dont lead to reduced life opportunities. Unless you want to work in basketball or porn. Just saying. Shrug. Does who fucks you on here so that? Could you rephrase that please thickasfuck? I could infer bjt wouldn't want to get it wrong like. How does people not wanting to fucj you on here because of a sexual preference lead to reduced life opportunities I didn't say that. If you're black you're more likely(compared to being white) to die younger, have reduced life opportunities, have a worse education, earn less money, worse housing, get arrested by the rozzers, die in custody aftwr being arrested, etc wtc etc due to institutional racism if not nothing else. So by saying no blacks(not my thing/im not racist /it's my preference) on theiir profile them that's touching the tip of the tip of the (racist) iceberg. I'd like to not get worked up by it, but in my view it's everyone's problem to try to work in their own way to a solution. Or what's the point of living in a world of other people if you can't make things both a meritocracy and, (to be 'fluffy'..) nicer. Only way were going to progress as a species. The people who deny it are shooting everyone else in the foot(or back, if you live in America and are a policeman). " It is everyone's problem. But some people will hide behind all sorts of excuses to avoid confronting their own prejudices. And then call anyone who says different "woke" or "Karen" or come up with straw man arguments. Same as the last thread on this topic and the one before that etc etc etc. | |||
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"First of all, can open... worms everywhere! Secondly, my thoughts are this... when considering any "ism's" or "ist's" or simply they way one interacts with others in a digital environment I believe that the best course of action is to carefully consider wether you would say that to someone when stood face to face with them in a bar or in the case of fab a swingers club for example I.e randomly walk up to a couple and proclaim "wow you wife is fit I'd fucking ruin her" (yes we have had something along those lines as an opening message) so when it comes to prejudice would it be appropriate to walk around a club and inform everyone "no blacks no asians etc"? Yes everyone has a preference but does it need shouting from the rooftops? I find the trouble with the likes of fab and we've been guilty of doing this is that people have a checklist of preferences and if someone doesnt match everything on that list then the conversation is a non starter however when you meet people in clubs or at socials you find that those people you discarded online so easily are actually lovely people that you do click with. Mr Hayes. That is definitely a very sensible approach. "I am sure I can't be the only one that finds this thread a bit disturbing from either side of the argument. Accusations, protestations and assumptions galore. As I see it and mentioned earlier, the reply at the top of this message makes perfect sense to me. I am out! | |||
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"People are free to put whatever on their profile. Who are you to tell them to stop?? It's preference at the end of the day, nothing to do with race! this all the way, i have many friends of a non white origion, doesnt mean i have to fancy them tho does it?" No, but by the same token if their skin colour is the reason you couldn't fancy them then that's problematic. No-one HAS to fancy everyone, even if they do meet your preferences. | |||
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" You are not allowed to say ‘coloured’. You can say ‘people of colour’. " Got to be one of the clumsiest sounding expressions ever dreamed up by well meaning people in order to try not to cause offence. | |||
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"So many posts! Can't read them all so I expect whatever I say has been said before, but still... The OP is clearly right. Doesn't mean you have to fuck someone you're not attracted to, but don't have to broadcast to the world that it's for discriminatory reasons. As to those who say preference is just preference - we know it's not. Our preferences are shaped by so many things, including received morality. If you think you don't like anyone of a certain race, it's worthwhile questioning that. Doesn't mean you should sleep with them if you're not attracted, but broadcasting your rule or fetish isn't called for. As for no beards etc - not too into that either; positive profiles are so much sexier! But beards aren't a protected characteristic, and there is some rationale between which characteristics are and are not protected. You mention protected characteristics a couple of times so clearly they are significant. Would you mind explaining what a protected characteristic is and what / who they are protected from? I'm not familiar with that at all. It's from the Eqalitu Act 2010 "The Act protects people against discrimination, harassment or victimisation in employment, and as users of private and public services _ased on nine protected characteristics: age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation." Thanks for clarifying... Isn't that intended to apply to employment and services...? In what way would it apply to social media sites? Or are you suggesting that it is used as a guideline..? Would you apply each of the 9 protected attributes equally? So for example.... Youre not allowed to express a preference for age,marital status, gender reassignment.. Ie are some of the 9 more protected than others? " Having taught this as a subject in the care sector it's very easy to fall into a problem inadvertently. By the rule of law lots of things that are stated on Fab COULD be construed as such. As others have said it's a much better approach to state what you ARE looking for, as opposed to saying things such as "No Asians", "No white guys" etc. with a better way of putting it being 'Black guys preferred' for instance. Using the word 'preferred' isn't absolutely ruling anything or anyone out technically, nor could it be misconstrued in the eyes of law. With a little forethought and intelligence it doesn't take much doing, even if it feels like 'tiptoeing' around in some ways. | |||
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