FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > cuckolding

cuckolding

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Would/could someone explain to me how you can watch the woman you love being as intimate as you can be with someone and find it a turn on. Do you not fear that she'll fall for that guy one day and leave you? Its beyond me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would/could someone explain to me how you can watch the woman you love being as intimate as you can be with someone and find it a turn on. Do you not fear that she'll fall for that guy one day and leave you? Its beyond me. "

Why are other peoples choices and life styles beyond you, they may feel the same about doormen, a far more dangerous pastime

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You have it as one of your interests

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples do things not just for the enjoyment of self, but for the enjoyment of their partner too.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And do couples that meet guys for straight sex not run the same risk ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also has nothing to do with cuckholding, if you think that OP then applies to "letting" your partner/wife etc have sex with another man,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its something i dont understand as well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Why are other peoples choices and life styles beyond you, they may feel the same about doormen, a far more dangerous pastime

"
I just don't understand why you would want to watch the woman you love be as intimate as you can be with someone else. Why would you take the risk of losing them . My being a doorman is so irrelevant i really don't see y brought that up. I also juggle knives but what the hell does that have to do with the price of tuna?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Also has nothing to do with cuckholding, if you think that OP then applies to "letting" your partner/wife etc have sex with another man,"
yes ok i concede to that. Why would a guy pack his wife off to go sleep with another guy? That equally baffudles me.When i was married if my wife had have turned round and said " hi love, i think id like to be fucked by three black guys" that would have broken my heart. I wanted to be her one and only and visa versa. Not judging before i get attacked, i just don't get it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Swinging together, and fulfilling fantasies together is surely a lot more healthy than how some non swinging couples are; not talking about things like that and cheating on each other. Surely way more destructive?

For us, the things we do we do as a couple, honestly, openly, and above all together.

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By *issy NickersWoman over a year ago

Manchester

I don't think swinging is for you babe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also has nothing to do with cuckholding, if you think that OP then applies to "letting" your partner/wife etc have sex with another man,yes ok i concede to that. Why would a guy pack his wife off to go sleep with another guy? That equally baffudles me.When i was married if my wife had have turned round and said " hi love, i think id like to be fucked by three black guys" that would have broken my heart. I wanted to be her one and only and visa versa. Not judging before i get attacked, i just don't get it. "

But your happy to play with another guys wife ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Swinging together, and fulfilling fantasies together is surely a lot more healthy than how some non swinging couples are; not talking about things like that and cheating on each other. Surely way more destructive?

For us, the things we do we do as a couple, honestly, openly, and above all together. "
I applaud it if it works for you. Thinking i wasn't enough for the woman i loved though would be heartbreaking. When i was in love i never cheated. She was all i needed and id cheated all my life up until then. I was a terrible womaniser . If it works for you guys all power to you. That has to be the single one thing that i truly struggle to get my head around though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

But your happy to play with another guys wife ?"
Of course. Done it many times. Why would i turn down a beautiful woman? A guy wouldn't be getting mine tho. No way no how !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This will not be to everyone's taste but there's a lot of honesty in there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No fear at all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Couples do things not just for the enjoyment of self, but for the enjoyment of their partner too.

Wolf

Well said Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For us, the things we do we do as a couple, honestly, openly, and above all together. I applaud it if it works for you. Thinking i wasn't enough for the woman i loved though would be heartbreaking. When i was in love i never cheated. She was all i needed and id cheated all my life up until then. I was a terrible womaniser . If it works for you guys all power to you. That has to be the single one thing that i truly struggle to get my head around though."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thinking you were not enough for the woman you loved has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex and nothing to do with Love! Sammi is the LOVE of my life and to me how can i show more love than letting her do something she enjoys so well and its vice versa with her! As someone pointed out before maybe swinging is not for you! just my opinion by the way!"
to me true love is being enough for one another. Swinging is for me. Im a big fan. I would not be the couple though. I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thinking you were not enough for the woman you loved has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex and nothing to do with Love! Sammi is the LOVE of my life and to me how can i show more love than letting her do something she enjoys so well and its vice versa with her! As someone pointed out before maybe swinging is not for you! just my opinion by the way!to me true love is being enough for one another. Swinging is for me. Im a big fan. I would not be the couple though. I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me. "

So if you had a partner would you give up swinging then?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the cuckold dynamic is something that few understand, just like the full on D/S dynamic - you either get it or not.....with cuckold play (and for some it isn't play its their lifestyle) the bond between hotwife and cuck is similar to that which exists between a full time dom and sub couple. Its an intense relationship that few will understand

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

"I don't think swinging is for you babe

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thinking you were not enough for the woman you loved has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex and nothing to do with Love! Sammi is the LOVE of my life and to me how can i show more love than letting her do something she enjoys so well and its vice versa with her! As someone pointed out before maybe swinging is not for you! just my opinion by the way!to me true love is being enough for one another. Swinging is for me. Im a big fan. I would not be the couple though. I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me.

So if you had a partner would you give up swinging then?"
of course. I was faithful for almost seven years. She was enough for me and she was no where near the kinkiest i had been with.

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

I'm just glad there are some that do...

Being Bull to a cuckold couple is just awesome

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thinking you were not enough for the woman you loved has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex and nothing to do with Love! Sammi is the LOVE of my life and to me how can i show more love than letting her do something she enjoys so well and its vice versa with her! As someone pointed out before maybe swinging is not for you! just my opinion by the way!to me true love is being enough for one another. Swinging is for me. Im a big fan. I would not be the couple though. I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me.

So if you had a partner would you give up swinging then? of course. I was faithful for almost seven years. She was enough for me and she was no where near the kinkiest i had been with. "

Well all i can say is each to their own!

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By *R and BlondieCouple over a year ago

Bebington, wirral

Me and My husband consider ourselves swingers, my husband totally satisfies me sexually. We both like the thrill of other sexual partners and watching each other with different people

We are open minded, non jealous, and totally in love, sex is not about love to us. That is why we swing, it is fun. If you can't share you're partner swinging isn't for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thinking you were not enough for the woman you loved has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex and nothing to do with Love! Sammi is the LOVE of my life and to me how can i show more love than letting her do something she enjoys so well and its vice versa with her! As someone pointed out before maybe swinging is not for you! just my opinion by the way!to me true love is being enough for one another. Swinging is for me. Im a big fan. I would not be the couple though. I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me.

So if you had a partner would you give up swinging then? of course. I was faithful for almost seven years. She was enough for me and she was no where near the kinkiest i had been with.

Well all i can say is each to their own!"
agreed. Although im no nearer understanding it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thinking you were not enough for the woman you loved has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex and nothing to do with Love! Sammi is the LOVE of my life and to me how can i show more love than letting her do something she enjoys so well and its vice versa with her! As someone pointed out before maybe swinging is not for you! just my opinion by the way!to me true love is being enough for one another. Swinging is for me. Im a big fan. I would not be the couple though. I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me.

So if you had a partner would you give up swinging then? of course. I was faithful for almost seven years. She was enough for me and she was no where near the kinkiest i had been with.

Well all i can say is each to their own!agreed. Although im no nearer understanding it.

It's fair enough that you don't understand and to ask but to say your more than happy to be the other guy is hypocritical ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thinking you were not enough for the woman you loved has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex and nothing to do with Love! Sammi is the LOVE of my life and to me how can i show more love than letting her do something she enjoys so well and its vice versa with her! As someone pointed out before maybe swinging is not for you! just my opinion by the way!to me true love is being enough for one another. Swinging is for me. Im a big fan. I would not be the couple though. I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me.

So if you had a partner would you give up swinging then? of course. I was faithful for almost seven years. She was enough for me and she was no where near the kinkiest i had been with.

Well all i can say is each to their own!agreed. Although im no nearer understanding it.

Well its obvious its not for you so NO point in you even trying to understand it, Is there??

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

"... im no nearer understanding it.

There are plenty who don't understand gravity but they still have their feet on the ground.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"... im no nearer understanding it.

There are plenty who don't understand gravity but they still have their feet on the ground."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sammiandbilly can you read guys???? I've joined couples for years and will continue to as we all enjoy it, so how is it not for me????? What wouldn't be for me is sharing the woman i loved.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"... im no nearer understanding it.

There are plenty who don't understand gravity but they still have their feet on the ground."
comedy clubs next door big lad. I didn't ask for sarcasm, i asked for an explanation. When i want a pointless anecdote though ill be certain to rattle your cage

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By *uggers nemesisCouple over a year ago

london

"... im no nearer understanding it.

There are plenty who don't understand gravity but they still have their feet on the ground.comedy clubs next door big lad. I didn't ask for sarcasm, i asked for an explanation. When i want a pointless anecdote though ill be certain to rattle your cage

If the woman that you loved told you she would love to watch you fuck another woman and she would like to fuck a guy,what would you say? Remember,you love her and don't want to lose her and you know if you say no,these fantasies will never be fulfilled for her if she is to stay with you forever

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sammiandbilly can you read guys???? I've joined couples for years and will continue to as we all enjoy it, so how is it not for me????? What wouldn't be for me is sharing the woman i loved. "

Yes can read quite well thanks! Keep your shirt on tho! lol... Ok so you wouldnt share a partner and you cant understand how anyone can! But like i said before why spend your time worrying about something you dont understand when it clearly has no interest at all for you anyway???? Why not spend the time worrying about something that is of interest to you???

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If she said that to me terrystrobe my heart would break and id know we were over.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because they are secure enough in their own relationship they have trust and no jelousy to share or swing together. And to see the love between a swinging couple is just awesome. Nothing hornier than watching your partner from a different perspective and to see them getting pleasure. Its not about that you cant satisfy your partner its about enhancing what they already have.

Typical single guy mentality dont mind fucking someone else's misses just dont come near mine x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your on the wrong site simple as that, what you are saying you fail to understand is actually 1 form of swinging and to be in this you need to understand swinging, maybe try a dating site or something similar.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sammiandbilly can you read guys???? I've joined couples for years and will continue to as we all enjoy it, so how is it not for me????? What wouldn't be for me is sharing the woman i loved.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sammiandbilly can you read guys???? I've joined couples for years and will continue to as we all enjoy it, so how is it not for me????? What wouldn't be for me is sharing the woman i loved.

Think the Logic behind it has been more than explained to you on here by many people so if by now you still cant see the logic, seriously mate i'd give up!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also you have cuckolding,seperate room swapping and same room swapping on your interests the latter 2 meaning you would like to swap your partner with someone else be it same or seperate room therefore are you not contradicting your own profile with this thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Because they are secure enough in their own relationship they have trust and no jelousy to share or swing together. And to see the love between a swinging couple is just awesome. Nothing hornier than watching your partner from a different perspective and to see them getting pleasure. Its not about that you cant satisfy your partner its about enhancing what they already have.

Typical single guy mentality dont mind fucking someone else's misses just dont come near mine x"
if the guy doesn't mind me fucking his Mrs as you so nicely put it then y should i? Is it so wrong, am i such a bastard that i want to be enough for the woman i love? That i want her to be enough for me? As for not understanding i think you should join that class too. You clearly don't understand that im very much on the right site as i enjoy joining couples. Why are you struggling to grasp that concept?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Typical single guy mentality dont mind fucking someone else's misses just dont come near mine xif the guy doesn't mind me fucking his Mrs as you so nicely put it then y should i? Is it so wrong, am i such a bastard that i want to be enough for the woman i love? That i want her to be enough for me? As for not understanding i think you should join that class too. You clearly don't understand that im very much on the right site as i enjoy joining couples. Why are you struggling to grasp that concept? "

This is because you are not secure enough within your own relationship and you doubt your prowess and that you are enough for your lady granted swinging is not for everyone.

You get to have sex with the lady from a couple but what the couple get is a whole lot more and the intimacy within the relationship and that is built on so much more than sex. Like I say they are already secure within themselves.

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

OP..Two 'I wants' in your last post, maybe that has something to do with how you find the concept difficult to understand.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is because you are not secure enough within your own relationship and you doubt your prowess and that you are enough for your lady granted swinging is not for everyone.

"
now you're really way off point there honey bunny. Im plenty confident in my abilities. Im not attacking any couples into cuckholding but i dare say that those couples area minority and most couples wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. So to try and make me feelkllike im the odd one out ain't gonna work in a month of Sundays. Attack my sexual prowess if it makes you feel better but if thats the best explanation you have then i think you should remove yourself from this debate because its a pretty lame tactic to approach.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get it swinging is not for you, you dont like to share just because you dont does not mean others do simples.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And its a wonder why you have no verifications if this is your attitude towards swinging and swinging couples good luck with that one x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP..Two 'I wants' in your last post, maybe that has something to do with how you find the concept difficult to understand."
Jesus shoot me now. I want to be enough for the woman i love and i want her to enough for me. Get a grip. There's absolutely nothing wrong in that statement. I also want my child to go to university and become a doctor. Should i go get a rope so you can hang me from the closest tree?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why dont you have a girl?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP..Two 'I wants' in your last post, maybe that has something to do with how you find the concept difficult to understand.Jesus shoot me now. I want to be enough for the woman i love and i want her to enough for me. Get a grip. There's absolutely nothing wrong in that statement. I also want my child to go to university and become a doctor. Should i go get a rope so you can hang me from the closest tree? "

Exactly you are a one man woman nothing wrong with it this is your preference but guess what there is a big wide world out there from sexual fantasies to fetishes.

Let me ask you a question if you were married would you have a ffm threesome and share your lady with another woman this is most mens fantasies x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Me and My husband consider ourselves swingers, my husband totally satisfies me sexually. We both like the thrill of other sexual partners and watching each other with different people

We are open minded, non jealous, and totally in love, sex is not about love to us. That is why we swing, it is fun. If you can't share you're partner swinging isn't for you. "

Why not? The OP states he plays alone and likes to play with couples. I don't understand why that is an issue.

Everyone is different and likes different things. There is no need for either side to slag each other off for their likes.

OP I don't think you will ever understand why couples can share each other. But why try to? If you enjoy what you are doing and happy with it then that's good.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And its a wonder why you have no verifications if this is your attitude towards swinging and swinging couples good luck with that one x"
im meeting a couple tomorrow afternoon I've met before and a lady on Sunday who's married and her husband knows she's seeing me. Verifications are a badge of honour you can keep. Im on the site for me, not to collect little green ticks. I think if there was a chance of me understanding you've gone about it the wrong way. I actually think if you all read back that most of you breathe insecure ones seen as you've spent more time berating me and defending yourselves then explaining it to me. Understand tho that at no point did i judge or insult anyone. I just said i didn't understand it. Im asking myself after tonight who the insecure ones really are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Me and My husband consider ourselves swingers, my husband totally satisfies me sexually. We both like the thrill of other sexual partners and watching each other with different people

We are open minded, non jealous, and totally in love, sex is not about love to us. That is why we swing, it is fun. If you can't share you're partner swinging isn't for you.

Why not? The OP states he plays alone and likes to play with couples. I don't understand why that is an issue.

Everyone is different and likes different things. There is no need for either side to slag each other off for their likes.

OP I don't think you will ever understand why couples can share each other. But why try to? If you enjoy what you are doing and happy with it then that's good. "
a lone voice of calm and reason. Thank you. Care to play? Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Exactly you are a one man woman nothing wrong with it this is your preference but guess what there is a big wide world out there from sexual fantasies to fetishes.

Let me ask you a question if you were married would you have a ffm threesome and share your lady with another woman this is most mens fantasies x"
the woman i love waiting to be with anyone other then me would break my heart. Be that man , woman or he/she. I love being with two girls but one of them wouldn't be the woman i love. Simples .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Exactly you are a one man woman nothing wrong with it this is your preference but guess what there is a big wide world out there from sexual fantasies to fetishes.

Let me ask you a question if you were married would you have a ffm threesome and share your lady with another woman this is most mens fantasies xthe woman i love waiting to be with anyone other then me would break my heart. Be that man , woman or he/she. I love being with two girls but one of them wouldn't be the woman i love. Simples . "

Fair point

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

Why do you take that as a criticism?..I was simply pointing out what you desire is diametrically opposed to those who are happy to share their wives/partners, and I agree with you that is almost certainly how most men would think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why dont you have a girl? "
i had the most amazing one . Married with a beautiful daughter and a big expensive home. Somewhere along the line i messed it up. I certainly never cheated though. She was more then enough . She wasn't the naughtiest id ever been with but because i loved her so much, she was more then enough. Infinitely more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The way I see it.... It doesn't bother me if he plays with other people. I like him to have fun. If I'm there too to enjoy it, even better.

Same as maybe two people may go out and enjoy a meal or a film together. Sex with other people is enjoyable too and I like to share that.

Do I worry that one day he'll get bored of me or meet someone else he likes better? Of course I do. But he could meet someone at work or down the pub and fall for them, not just on a meet.

I understand why you say you want to be everything for your woman. I'm sure most people would agree with that. Some people are also happy to share too.

Hope that helps.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Can I put a thought experiment to you..imagine you were in a relationship..married/long term partner..it's a relationship that enjoys an active and mutually enjoyable sex life..you have an accident that leaves you paralysed from the neck down..if you really, really loved her would you deny her a sex life separate from your relationship"
different story all together. Id no longer be able to give her what she fundamentally should expect from her husband so i couldn't say no to her. Though it would be with a heavy heart. If you knew me though you'd know id never let her have to come and ask me that. If i thought it had got to that i would divorce her. Or if she truly loved me and wanted us to grow old together still i would want her to go get what she needed and that id never find out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The way I see it.... It doesn't bother me if he plays with other people. I like him to have fun. If I'm there too to enjoy it, even better.

Same as maybe two people may go out and enjoy a meal or a film together. Sex with other people is enjoyable too and I like to share that.

Do I worry that one day he'll get bored of me or meet someone else he likes better? Of course I do. But he could meet someone at work or down the pub and fall for them, not just on a meet.

I understand why you say you want to be everything for your woman. I'm sure most people would agree with that. Some people are also happy to share too.

Hope that helps. "
it makes more sense then most of the others but then that's because you're not trying to convince me he could never fall for someone else. Some people are up in cloud cuckoo land trying to convince themselves i think more then me. At least you guys are going into it with both eyes open. You two therefore have more chance of going the distance in my opinion. Ill tell you y i know of the dangers. Two wives have in the past told me they'd leave there husbands for me. I said no on both counts and they went back with there husbands never knowing how close he came to losing his wife. So for all you couples that have insulted me , there is rhyme in my reasoning.

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

Can I put a thought experiment to you..imagine you were in a relationship..married/long term partner..it's a relationship that enjoys an active and mutually enjoyable sex life..you have an accident that leaves you paralysed from the neck down..if you really, really loved her would you deny her a sex life separate from your relationshipdifferent story all together. Id no longer be able to give her what she fundamentally should expect from her husband so i couldn't say no to her. Though it would be with a heavy heart. If you knew me though you'd know id never let her have to come and ask me that. If i thought it had got to that i would divorce her. Or if she truly loved me and wanted us to grow old together still i would want her to go get what she needed and that id never find out. "

I think then you are beginning to understand that some relationships are strong and survive because of circumstance, mutual trust, and understanding. Love, strong love,is not about possession..You love your children ,but you have to let go, and let them fly, because you love them...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Can I put a thought experiment to you..imagine you were in a relationship..married/long term partner..it's a relationship that enjoys an active and mutually enjoyable sex life..you have an accident that leaves you paralysed from the neck down..if you really, really loved her would you deny her a sex life separate from your relationshipdifferent story all together. Id no longer be able to give her what she fundamentally should expect from her husband so i couldn't say no to her. Though it would be with a heavy heart. If you knew me though you'd know id never let her have to come and ask me that. If i thought it had got to that i would divorce her. Or if she truly loved me and wanted us to grow old together still i would want her to go get what she needed and that id never find out.

so is one of you a quadrapledgic?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im exhausted after reading this and can't remember what i was going to post

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im exhausted after reading this and can't remember what i was going to post

"
lol i certainly poked a wasps nest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im exhausted after reading this and can't remember what i was going to post

lol i certainly poked a wasps nest."

Ah right ....... Smoke um out

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im exhausted after reading this and can't remember what i was going to post

lol i certainly poked a wasps nest.

Ah right ....... Smoke um out

"
wasn't intentional. I genuinely hoped for a little clarification. Instead i got lynched .

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

Can I put a thought experiment to you..imagine you were in a relationship..married/long term partner..it's a relationship that enjoys an active and mutually enjoyable sex life..you have an accident that leaves you paralysed from the neck down..if you really, really loved her would you deny her a sex life separate from your relationshipdifferent story all together. Id no longer be able to give her what she fundamentally should expect from her husband so i couldn't say no to her. Though it would be with a heavy heart. If you knew me though you'd know id never let her have to come and ask me that. If i thought it had got to that i would divorce her. Or if she truly loved me and wanted us to grow old together still i would want her to go get what she needed and that id never find out.

so is one of you a quadrapledgic?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Can I put a thought experiment to you..imagine you were in a relationship..married/long term partner..it's a relationship that enjoys an active and mutually enjoyable sex life..you have an accident that leaves you paralysed from the neck down..if you really, really loved her would you deny her a sex life separate from your relationshipdifferent story all together. Id no longer be able to give her what she fundamentally should expect from her husband so i couldn't say no to her. Though it would be with a heavy heart. If you knew me though you'd know id never let her have to come and ask me that. If i thought it had got to that i would divorce her. Or if she truly loved me and wanted us to grow old together still i would want her to go get what she needed and that id never find out.

so is one of you a quadrapledgic?

No..not at all..you asked in your op for understanding..the thought experiment was to hopefully help you realise that for some people the concept of letting go of their fears, jealously, possessiveness, and insecurities is a liberating process that can result in an enhanced relationship...I'm not in anyway saying that is any better or worse than how you see relationships..I am just attempting to explain. "
then if the reason isn't medical im still non the wiser because that's the example you gave me. Not being able to function medically is a completely separate thing all together.

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

Can I put a thought experiment to you..imagine you were in a relationship..married/long term partner..it's a relationship that enjoys an active and mutually enjoyable sex life..you have an accident that leaves you paralysed from the neck down..if you really, really loved her would you deny her a sex life separate from your relationshipdifferent story all together. Id no longer be able to give her what she fundamentally should expect from her husband so i couldn't say no to her. Though it would be with a heavy heart. If you knew me though you'd know id never let her have to come and ask me that. If i thought it had got to that i would divorce her. Or if she truly loved me and wanted us to grow old together still i would want her to go get what she needed and that id never find out.

so is one of you a quadrapledgic?

No..not at all..you asked in your op for understanding..the thought experiment was to hopefully help you realise that for some people the concept of letting go of their fears, jealously, possessiveness, and insecurities is a liberating process that can result in an enhanced relationship...I'm not in anyway saying that is any better or worse than how you see relationships..I am just attempting to explain. then if the reason isn't medical im still non the wiser because that's the example you gave me. Not being able to function medically is a completely separate thing all together."

It was a thought experiment, and it represented the concept of non possessive love, and letting go..not about medical functions!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Can I put a thought experiment to you..imagine you were in a relationship..married/long term partner..it's a relationship that enjoys an active and mutually enjoyable sex life..you have an accident that leaves you paralysed from the neck down..if you really, really loved her would you deny her a sex life separate from your relationshipdifferent story all together. Id no longer be able to give her what she fundamentally should expect from her husband so i couldn't say no to her. Though it would be with a heavy heart. If you knew me though you'd know id never let her have to come and ask me that. If i thought it had got to that i would divorce her. Or if she truly loved me and wanted us to grow old together still i would want her to go get what she needed and that id never find out.

so is one of you a quadrapledgic?

No..not at all..you asked in your op for understanding..the thought experiment was to hopefully help you realise that for some people the concept of letting go of their fears, jealously, possessiveness, and insecurities is a liberating process that can result in an enhanced relationship...I'm not in anyway saying that is any better or worse than how you see relationships..I am just attempting to explain. then if the reason isn't medical im still non the wiser because that's the example you gave me. Not being able to function medically is a completely separate thing all together.

It was a thought experiment, and it represented the concept of non possessive love, and letting go..not about medical functions!"
im sorry but i don't agree. It would be like me asking an obviously blind man why he has a guide dog and a white stick. I wouldn't. You're using the wrong metaphor . You can use the term thought exercise as much as you like , it gives in no extra credence in my opinion .

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

can i ask you a question,you seem to be having plenty of sex,outwith fab swingers.

you dont have any respect,nor understanding,for people who swing.

so why did you join a swingers site.

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By *riskynriskyCouple over a year ago

Essex.

Crikey a bit deep at this time in the morning...

We are new to swinging and only soft swing.. I'm not a cuck but enjoy watching Frisky play...

Trying to use an analogy that won't sound offencive.... Imagine you own an Aston Martin... You love the car, you love the way other people look at the car with desire... One day the car has to be driven by someone else... First you are nervous as you hand the car over, then you notice how the new driver looks over the car, with desire and respect in his eyes. Then he starts to drive off and suddenly you remember how good the cars looks being driven. You see it how every on else sees it but with the knowledge it's yours and only yours. It will soon be back to you and no matter whether it goes off once in a while or quite often you know it will always be back, others may get a few minutes or hours of enjoyment from it but it is yours for life... And once in a while you get a chance to see it how every one else sees it.... Hope that helped a bit...

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

Can I put a thought experiment to you..imagine you were in a relationship..married/long term partner..it's a relationship that enjoys an active and mutually enjoyable sex life..you have an accident that leaves you paralysed from the neck down..if you really, really loved her would you deny her a sex life separate from your relationshipdifferent story all together. Id no longer be able to give her what she fundamentally should expect from her husband so i couldn't say no to her. Though it would be with a heavy heart. If you knew me though you'd know id never let her have to come and ask me that. If i thought it had got to that i would divorce her. Or if she truly loved me and wanted us to grow old together still i would want her to go get what she needed and that id never find out.

so is one of you a quadrapledgic?

No..not at all..you asked in your op for understanding..the thought experiment was to hopefully help you realise that for some people the concept of letting go of their fears, jealously, possessiveness, and insecurities is a liberating process that can result in an enhanced relationship...I'm not in anyway saying that is any better or worse than how you see relationships..I am just attempting to explain. then if the reason isn't medical im still non the wiser because that's the example you gave me. Not being able to function medically is a completely separate thing all together.

It was a thought experiment, and it represented the concept of non possessive love, and letting go..not about medical functions!im sorry but i don't agree. It would be like me asking an obviously blind man why he has a guide dog and a white stick. I wouldn't. You're using the wrong metaphor . You can use the term thought exercise as much as you like , it gives in no extra credence in my opinion ."

You didn't ask for credence you asked for understanding..I haven't judged you, abused you, patronised you, just tried to explain. Clearly I have been of no help

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok after getting a headache reading all the posts i just wanted to say me and my partner are madly madly in love we have absolutely no trust issues she likes to flirt and i like to do the same, we always play together but for me there is no bigger turn on than watching her have fun as she does when watching me too,

When you love someone so much and youve given them all you can give, what else could you possibly give the most important thing in your life?? OUR FANTASIES some people go through life with a list of things to do before we pop off. I was in a previous relationship where i enjoyed seeing her with other men but she wasnt comfortable with me and another female, so i questioned whether swinging for us was fair and right.

Now with my current lady she is all i want and we absolutely adore each other but a little extra spice makes us stronger and love each other more. Unlike some people who confuse a sex site with swinging(dissalusional) we have made some fantastic friends and had some exclent fun and continue to enjoy the lifestyle.

I love G with all my heart and she feels the same too and if swingng ever bcame a problem in our relationship then we would stop simple. That being said we love it and intend to continue

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"..

Can I ask is this how you _iew swinging? that one partner has to do something they don't want to keep the OH? Or am I reading that wrong?

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By *exki11enWoman over a year ago

Bristol

This is what swinging is about. It's beyond me why you're on here if you don't "get" it!

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By *ola cubesMan over a year ago

coatbridge

so its straight in my head you believe in monogamy while you have a partner. but while your single you dont mind polygamy theres a first for everything

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Crikey a bit deep at this time in the morning...

We are new to swinging and only soft swing.. I'm not a cuck but enjoy watching Frisky play...

That is a great analogy

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By *unfemWoman over a year ago

monmouth

Eating does not equal love

Driving does not equal love

Sex does not equal love

Simples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm thinking that any couple who read your post, even if they would have thought of playing with you before wouldn't now. Your being honest, granted but as I see it you're basically saying that you think any man who swings with his wife is showing her no respect (which I disagree with)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't worry about it as your only looking for women.

Couples will meet guys who understand what they are after and so far not one woman has come running to me and left her husband lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Crikey a bit deep at this time in the morning...

We are new to swinging and only soft swing.. I'm not a cuck but enjoy watching Frisky play...

That is a great analogy

"
with all due respect how the hell is that a great analogy? You're comparing the love of your life, the mother of your children to a bloody car? I don't care how nice the car is that, its still only a sodding car.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok I am going to be honest with the op now I think you are still very much hung up on your ex is there any way of making a go of it or talking to her again would it make you happy. And as for the world of swinging I think you have a very blinkered _iew on the subject and not open to the idea. And as you have said before you are happy in the swinging world while you remain single.

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By *hoe_nixCouple over a year ago

leeds

there are some twisted folk on here

so you will join a married couple but only if you're not in love withsomeone else -- but you cant understand why they do it

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

The honest answer to the original question is that like many fetishes it's impossible to know why you are turned on by them. A cuck is turned on by watching his wife with another man and if you are turned on by something you enjoy it. There are risks in it, but there are risks in just letting your Hotwife leave the house, let's face it if she wants to run off she can anytime for any reason. There will be something you like and find a turn on that others don't.

I think you assume all cuckolds send their wife off for the night and sit at home waiting, that isn't always the case. Even as a cuckold couple we find that hard to understand.

What I don't get about the OP is how he can spend time with a couple, having sex with the wife while apparently having no respect for the husband's choices. As for love some of us don't share the possessive feelings that can come with it. Love can be about inclusivity as much as exclusivity. We have plenty to share

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't think swinging is for you babe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm thinking that any couple who read your post, even if they would have thought of playing with you before wouldn't now. Your being honest, granted but as I see it you're basically saying that you think any man who swings with his wife is showing her no respect (which I disagree with)"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

I think hes being very honest,if the couples that he has played with previously thought he was being disrespectful to them then I doubt they would have allowed him to play with them

As for the cuckold thing,it can be such a complex and individual scenario for couples that areinto it its hard to begin to explain what it means in an easy way

Not all couples that play with single men are in a cuckold relationship either

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

"I think hes being very honest,if the couples that he has played with previously thought he was being disrespectful to them then I doubt they would have allowed him to play with them

As for the cuckold thing,it can be such a complex and individual scenario for couples that areinto it its hard to begin to explain what it means in an easy way

Not all couples that play with single men are in a cuckold relationship either

Do you think the couples knew how he really felt??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First of all i would like to say im not attacking you but pointing out your inacuracies in your thought process and what this site is all about!!

first why do you have Cuckolding on your profile as one of your interests as you dont understand it?? you state you dont like lies but have lied by saying its an interest of yours!!

As many have stated to you they love their wifes/partners etc but are secure enough in their relationship to enjoy having multiple partners, and also some guys do get excited and turned on by the sub dom/bull relationship. which again you put as your interests, which from your initial post you dont understand!!

If i had read your posts id not want to meet you as reckon your not ready for swinging, no matter how many partners you have had in the past or how many people you claim have fallen for you.

just as a side issue some cuckolds want their wifes to fall in love with other guys and eventually move in etc and look after them as well as their wifes.

Sex and sexuality and fetishes are so varied you cant know them all or understand them!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Totally on the wrong site as said before, if you cant/struggle to understand what people do in swinging then its not for you simple as that and as for meeting couples and married women from here it smells like a fantasist sitting behind his computer wanking away."

Well, i dont understand it but im here...There are a few things i cant get to grips with but if someone else likes it...no problem. It doesnt mean we dont belong in swinging. It just means its not for me.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I think they mean if you are looking to swing with couples then surely you have to understand the concept?

You don't seem to be looking for couples.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are other peoples choices and life styles beyond you, they may feel the same about doormen, a far more dangerous pastime

I just don't understand why you would want to watch the woman you love be as intimate as you can be with someone else. Why would you take the risk of losing them . My being a doorman is so irrelevant i really don't see y brought that up. I also juggle knives but what the hell does that have to do with the price of tuna? "

I've only read as far as this post. So sorry if what I say has been repeated. I can get very passionate with a playmate although mostly it's just a fuck. However as to your original question. I'm not intimate with other men how I am with master. As simply I have no emotional connection. Even when I kiss etc it's just physical.

Master has no worries that I will run off as other men are simply our foreplay. As nothing feels like how he touches me or how his kisses make me feel.

It's certainly not a cuckold thing either. But master does love to watch me enjoying other men and loves nothing better than seeing me lost in the moment taking on as many men as we can find.

Cali

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

You totally misunderstand what cuckolding is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You totally misunderstand what cuckolding is."
the coupleS , plural have all discussed it with me and we've chatted about it on occasion. However seen as im nothing but respectful ( contrary to what some ignorant people have written about me on this blog ) and we do always have a good time, they don't judge me for my personal feelings. I list cuckholding as one of my likes because im more then happy to be the third party. Just because you don't eat pork doesn't mean your a vegetarian. Several couples have since this post privately messagede me and told me they totally see my point of _iew. In my opinion the ones that have ranted at me are the ones that secretly are the insecure ones. Its like people who denounce gays the loudest for example, always turns out its because secretly they are themselves gay but won't admit it. That was just one example. I've not at any stage attacked any couples that enjoy that past time. I myself very much enjoy joining those couples, like i said in my opening statement............ I just don't understand it. I couldn't share my loved one, doesn't mean im attacking any couples that do !!!!!!

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

You totally misunderstand what cuckolding is.the coupleS , plural have all discussed it with me and we've chatted about it on occasion. However seen as im nothing but respectful ( contrary to what some ignorant people have written about me on this blog ) and we do always have a good time, they don't judge me for my personal feelings. I list cuckholding as one of my likes because im more then happy to be the third party. Just because you don't eat pork doesn't mean your a vegetarian. Several couples have since this post privately messagede me and told me they totally see my point of _iew. In my opinion the ones that have ranted at me are the ones that secretly are the insecure ones. Its like people who denounce gays the loudest for example, always turns out its because secretly they are themselves gay but won't admit it. That was just one example. I've not at any stage attacked any couples that enjoy that past time. I myself very much enjoy joining those couples, like i said in my opening statement............ I just don't understand it. I couldn't share my loved one, doesn't mean im attacking any couples that do !!!!!!"

Sorry I wasn't having a go at you. I was just pointing out you seem to be confusing cuckolding with voyeurism. Lots of people confuse cuckolding with voyeurism. The best way to understand the difference between cuckolding and voyeurism is Google for cuckold contract and read a few.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You totally misunderstand what cuckolding is."
no im not. Its not fucking chaos theory. Cucholding does what it says on the tin. Don't try giving it some mystical deep and meaningful status.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cuckoldry as a fetish

A cuckold fetishist is aware of his spouse's activity, most likely actively encouraging it[citation needed], and derives sexual pleasure from it.[5] Among fetishists, the pose of reluctance—the victimization of the cuckold—is a major element of the paraphilia. The cuckold is almost always male; the term for a female cuckold is sometimes referred to as a cuckquean[1] but is not as prevalent in popular culture as the male version of the fetish.

In the fetish cuckolding subculture, the female takes on the role of being sexually dominant, while the man takes on a submissive role. The man usually only becomes involved with the woman or her lover when she permits it — sometimes remaining altogether celibate.

This fetish can be completely heterosexual in which the husband does not participate or only participates with his wife, as well as (but more rarely) bi-sexual, in which the husband participates with everyone, or makes contact with the other man's semen.

The fetish specifics can range wildly, from loving treatment toward the cuckold to complete humiliation and debasement. The husband may also seek other women outside the relationship, as in a swinging lifestyle.[6] However, a requirement for the fetish is that the cuckold is somehow humiliated, whether this is acted out to be intentional or as some sort of by-product of the situation (i.e. the parties involved are somehow too sexually aroused to stop). Therefore cuckolding usually involves acting out a story or ritual involving humiliating acts, events or circumstances; it is not simply wife-swapping, swinging or sharing a sexual partner.

The wife who enjoys cuckolding her husband is sometimes referred to as a hotwife[7] or frequently cuckoldress if the male is more submissive.[8]

Theories in psychology

Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of masochism,[9] the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated. In Freudian analysis, cuckold fetishism is the eroticization of the fears of infidelity and of failure in the male competition for procreation and the affection of females[citation needed]. In his book Masochism and the Self, psychologist Roy Baumeister advanced a Self Theory analysis that cuckolding (and other forms of sexual masochism) among otherwise mentally healthy people was a form of escapism. In this theory, cuckold fetishists are relieving themselves of the stress of the burden of their social role and escaping into a simpler, less-expansive position.

According to these theories, the cuckold fetishist seeks pleasure both from the act of being humiliated, and by giving pleasure to his partner(s). But cuckolding can be summed psychologically as "distributing sexual humiliation to the cuckold"[citation needed]. If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where actually being cuckolded in reality does not hurt the relationship, they may try it out in reality. However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the "cuckold", and he usually convince his partner to participate in the fantasy for him. Indeed, the fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is actually being humiliated against his will.[10]

Humiliation is "the feeling of being put down, made to feel less than one feels oneself to be.".[11] Psychologist Evelin Lindner calls humiliation "the nuclear bomb of the emotions.", claiming it is an order of magnitude more powerful than any other, causing everything from interpersonal conflicts to international terrorism".[11] According to psychoanalysis, any feeling can become sexualized if it is somehow favorably associated with sex, especially in childhood. Because humiliation is such a powerful emotion, if an individual sexualizes it, he can in turn obtain intense sexual feelings.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fascinating read x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I will frankly say no more on this forum. The above said it all. Ill ask one question of you all though before i open my next forum on ladies in sexy heels.

Why would you / how could you derive any pleasure from humiliating the one you love more then life itself? In some of your cases they bore your children!!! That's never what i sign up for. So check my list of likes, cucholding is no more. Ill stay on the site to play with like minded couples and ladies but ill play no part in humiliating a man in front of his wife. Its just not in my D.N.A.

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By *uggers nemesisCouple over a year ago

london

"I will frankly say no more on this forum. The above said it all. Ill ask one question of you all though before i open my next forum on ladies in sexy heels.

I have a sneaky suspicion most couples will have blocked you by now

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By *red and florenceCouple over a year ago

whitstable

Fascinating stuff.. My partner loves to watch me with other men, I love him more than life, it's just fun nd sex.. I will never have my head turned by anyone, we do this together.. We all have different opinions, lets try and respect everyone's right to play as they wish... Happy swinging xxxxx

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Several couples have since this post privately messagede me and told me they totally see my point of _iew. In my opinion the ones that have ranted at me are the ones that secretly are the insecure ones. I couldn't share my loved one, doesn't mean im attacking any couples that do !!!!!!"

People say that a lot that they get mail instead of posts, now either they are making that up or there are a lot of people who like to stir the pot in mails instead.

Either way you asked for thoughts , people gave them, I saw no rant other than the post I removed that you posted. The only posts I saw are people answering your question.

If you don't want answers that are different than your own thoughts then it might be best not to ask for them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will frankly say no more on this forum. The above said it all. Ill ask one question of you all though before i open my next forum on ladies in sexy heels.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

is this about cuckolding or your personal heart-wrenching love story deviant bouncer?

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By *cldnCouple over a year ago

watford

"is this about cuckolding or your personal heart-wrenching love story deviant bouncer?

Funny

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thinking you were not enough for the woman you loved has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex and nothing to do with Love! Sammi is the LOVE of my life and to me how can i show more love than letting her do something she enjoys so well and its vice versa with her! As someone pointed out before maybe swinging is not for you! just my opinion by the way!to me true love is being enough for one another. Swinging is for me. Im a big fan. I would not be the couple though. I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me.

So if you had a partner would you give up swinging then? of course. I was faithful for almost seven years. She was enough for me and she was no where near the kinkiest i had been with.

Well all i can say is each to their own!agreed. Although im no nearer understanding it.

It's fair enough that you don't understand and to ask but to say your more than happy to be the other guy is hypocritical ?"

Hypocrisy is the practice of claiming to have higher standards or beliefs than is the case, so he is not a hypocrite.

I (Loki) enjoy sexually sharing my wife with other men but I am not remotely interested in taking part in an mfm or gangbang with another woman. That doesn't make me a hypocrite either.

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By *ob n AnnaCouple over a year ago

Stoke

It is a difficult subject and I have to say I find it very hard to understand too. I am a cuckolded hubby and I get immense pleasure from watching my wife with other men. I get pleasure from thinking of her with other men and even from thinking about her as she is actually with other men...whilst I am indeed at home. Then she will return to me whilst I am in bed...and if I am a lucky hubby, she will inform me of her successful evenings antics by sitting astride my face...and proceeding to tell me what happened...

Some people get pleasure from being whipped (myself included) some from being tied up and abused..(also me

)

The enjoyment I get from being a cuck far outweighs anything I have ever experienced...The humiliation..the angst...the emotional turmoil all serve to feed my deep sexual enjoyment...I could watch her all night and not want to take part myself...that powerful is the scenario...and yes I have watched her being used as a greedy girl...I was number 7 and number 22.

On Friday I watched as a guy took her to a private room in Chams and fucked her non stop for over an hour...His cock was 12" which is twice as long as mine...she screamed and screamed as he plundered her...I just sat and watched...took pictures and revelled in the sheer decadence and emotional heaven and hell I was going through...I was wishing I could get underneath them and watch as his cock violated her...my wifes pussy....and yes if possible and he was bareback..(not actually feasible of course) I would have stayed there as he withdrew...and would have been in Cuckold fantasy land as his seed ran from her onto my face. YES I would have cleaned her. That is my ultimate Cuckold dream...

After, my wife of 25 years and I, who love each other more than anything sat and made love in the jacuzzi...and we had never felt so close..

She also gets many benefits as I only have to visualise the night and I'm like a raging sex fiend after her all the time....thats my interpretation of being a cuckolded hubby and I love it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Several couples have since this post privately messagede me and told me they totally see my point of _iew. In my opinion the ones that have ranted at me are the ones that secretly are the insecure ones. "

So sorry if we dissapoint! But there's NO insecurity here between either of us at all. Not in the slightest. So your opinion of which of course you are correctly entitled to is not 100% correct and holds no ground with us!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry OP I think that you have misunderstood your role, swinging is just foreplay, the real fun happens after the meet has left the building. which makes you an environmentally friendly replacement for a vibrator...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry OP I think that you have misunderstood your role, swinging is just foreplay, the real fun happens after the meet has left the building. which makes you an environmentally friendly replacement for a vibrator...

Miow the claws are out with that one lol choking on my coffee cheers x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are other peoples choices and life styles beyond you, they may feel the same about doormen, a far more dangerous pastime

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is a difficult subject and I have to say I find it very hard to understand too. I am a cuckolded hubby and I get immense pleasure from watching my wife with other men. I get pleasure from thinking of her with other men and even from thinking about her as she is actually with other men...whilst I am indeed at home. Then she will return to me whilst I am in bed...and if I am a lucky hubby, she will inform me of her successful evenings antics by sitting astride my face...and proceeding to tell me what happened...

Some people get pleasure from being whipped (myself included) some from being tied up and abused..(also me

)

After, my wife of 25 years and I, who love each other more than anything sat and made love in the jacuzzi...and we had never felt so close..

She also gets many benefits as I only have to visualise the night and I'm like a raging sex fiend after her all the time....thats my interpretation of being a cuckolded hubby and I love it.

Thank you for posting that, it made interesting reading. I don't really understand cuckolding but your explanation made a lot of sense.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It seems to me that swinging is about consenting adults engaging in sex in many varied situations which have only one thing in common. That being that the sex is for 'fun' not 'serious'. The idea being (IMO) that the sex will not have a meaningful impact on the participants life.

I think situations where the sex is more 'serious' than that aren't swinging, but rather something else.

I think for some people cuckolding can be different from swinging. The obvious example being when a wife cuckolds the husband without his knowledge. But also (as one post above mentioned) in some cases the couple are interested in the idea of the guy becoming a part of their life. This situation is actually closer to dating than swinging IMO.

But in a lot of cases couples who have sex with other guys life each other, have a good every day relationship with each other and in no way wish to change their relationship status. For these couples the INTENTION is for their relationship to be unaffected by their having sex with other people. There is no guarantee of anything in life so maybe it will 'go wrong' and the wide will leave the husband for the guy but couples break up all the time for various reasons so to blame this on the sex is daft. A wife in a couple that doesn't swing might leave her husband for another guy because her husband never listens, is always at the pub and wastes all their money. This behaviour by the husband is probably far riskier than being an attentive husband who is happy to watch his wife with other women as far as running the risk of his wife leaving him. In fact the bouncer guy lost the woman he loved despite not sharing her sexually or having sex with other people himself.

Question to the Opening Poster:

When you have sex with a woman who is in a couple, are you worried about the possibility that you might fall in love with the woman? If not then why not? How is it a different risk from the risk that the woman might fall in love with you? If you are confident that you can have sex with a woman (who happens to be married) and then go on with your life happy without her then why can't a couple be confident that the woman can have sex with you and then go on happy with her life without you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

(Sorry for splitting this into two posts)

It seems to me that the Bouncer guy believes that either

a) he is capable of having sex without emotional involvement, but women aren't

B) he can objectively recognise that women are as capable of meaningless sex as men but emotionally can't handle the idea of a woman he loves having sex with someone else.

If a then that is arrogance to believe he is in some way better than the married women he has sex with. If b then that is insecurity to objectively be aware that women can have sex without it meaning anything but be unable to trust his wife to have sex with someone else without wanting to leave him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't know the OP, but if I did based on what I've seen here I don't think I'd want a relationship with him.

Not because of the swinging/cuckolding thing, more because of his narrow minded controlling manner. See how he reacted when someone made the car analogy earlier. Or when he got all huffy when someone made a cheeky comment right at the start. And also, and I speak from experience here, a break up that isn't to do with cheating is normally due to people not being able to bend or meet half way or being overly controlling of their partner.

One of my ex's wouldn't let me out alone if he thought another guy would be out, he was afraid I'd cheat on him as a poor weak-willed woman wouldn't be able to control herself.

I never cheated on him, and don't think I gave any signs that could have been interpretated as such. Well apart from having platonic male friends.

I dumped the twerp and spent a couple of years. Ahem... Having fun

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By *riskynriskyCouple over a year ago

Essex.

I think this is a case of light touch paper and retreat. The op has made up his mind and that's it. I used a car analogy as I thought it would be easy to write/understand. There have been quite a few comments made that the OP has clearly not understood and has even taken offence where those of us who are not over defensive have seen no offence intended..

I think no amount of explanation will ever be entertained by the OP...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the Op has asked a reasonable question openly and honestly. People should not forget that his _iew is not odd or strange in anyway but would be considered normal in our wider society.

I don't accept that he's being a hypocrite, I also find the suggestion that he should be on another site a little arrogant.

My response to the Op is that he may be being a little unrealistic. Nobody needs to fully understand anybody elses preferences (not everyone completely understands why scat, watersports etc are so appealing to some). The important thing is that we respect and accept the preferences of others at face value without attempting to undermine those preferences in any way because of any lack of understanding we have.

There is no right or wrong here, just preferences. Try to understand them but if you don't that is fine, as long as you accept their authenticity and respect them.

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

"I think the Op has asked a reasonable question openly and honestly. People should not forget that his _iew is not odd or strange in anyway but would be considered normal in our wider society.

I don't accept that he's being a hypocrite, I also find the suggestion that he should be on another site a little arrogant.

There is no right or wrong here, just preferences. Try to understand them but if you don't that is fine, as long as you accept their authenticity and respect them.

Can't agree with you re the op.If you read through the thread it seems clear to me that the op wasn't seeking understanding, but was demanding that people justify their choice..a subtle, but crucial difference.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have read through the thread (I'm not sure if you're suggesting otherwise) and what is clear is that the Op is asking for help in understanding because he is explicit in that request.

Where has he at any point 'demanded that people justify their choice'?

You appear to be making assumptions and twisting his motives.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think the Op has asked a reasonable question openly and honestly. People should not forget that his _iew is not odd or strange in anyway but would be considered normal in our wider society.

I don't accept that he's being a hypocrite, I also find the suggestion that he should be on another site a little arrogant.

There is no right or wrong here, just preferences. Try to understand them but if you don't that is fine, as long as you accept their authenticity and respect them.

I agree with you.

I think there is an issue for people who don't understand and/or respect the OP's opinion. I don't think he's been disrespectful, his only 'crime' is saying he doesn't understand cuckolding.

I'm sure there's lots of things that people don't understand or want to try. We're all different.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP.... It really is this simple for us.

Neither of us NEED this type of fun...

BOTH of us WANT this type of fun... it was a fantasy for us for 10 years before we tried it and we have absolutely no regrets, just fantastic memories

If either of us showed/expressed any resentment towards our fun, we would happily stop.

....it's all down to trust

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Miow the claws are out with that one lol choking on my coffee cheers x

So true though

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

"I think the Op has asked a reasonable question openly and honestly. People should not forget that his _iew is not odd or strange in anyway but would be considered normal in our wider society.

I don't accept that he's being a hypocrite, I also find the suggestion that he should be on another site a little Iarrogant.

There is no right or wrong here, just preferences. Try to understand them but if you don't that is fine, as long as you accept their authenticity and respect them.

I agree with you.

I think there is an issue for people who don't understand and/or respect the OP's opinion. I don't think he's been disrespectful, his only 'crime' is saying he doesn't understand cuckolding.

I'm sure there's lots of things that people don't understand or want to try. We're all different. "

But it's not what he is saying if you read everything he has written here. He is saying he doesn't understand how any man, regardless of the situation can let another man fuck his true love. So that goes for same room swapping (something the OP would never do with someone he loved) it goes for mmf threesomes it goes for any situation where a man lets another man fuck the woman he is in love with. This isnt a question about cuckolding at all. That's why folks have got so angry or insulting, because the OP is questioning every man on here who is in a relationship.

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

"I think the Op has asked a reasonable question openly and honestly. People should not forget that his _iew is not odd or strange in anyway but would be considered normal in our wider society.

I don't accept that he's being a hypocrite, I also find the suggestion that he should be on another site a little Iarrogant.

There is no right or wrong here, just preferences. Try to understand them but if you don't that is fine, as long as you accept their authenticity and respect them.

I agree with you.

I think there is an issue for people who don't understand and/or respect the OP's opinion. I don't think he's been disrespectful, his only 'crime' is saying he doesn't understand cuckolding.

I'm sure there's lots of things that people don't understand or want to try. We're all different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Im not giving any more opinions because some people are attempting to put words in my mouth. Its opened my eyes ill say that much. Onto my forum on ladies in sexy heels. The hypocrisy and negativity in this room is stifling.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Think you've done a good enough job of that yourself.

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

"Im not giving any more opinions because some people are attempting to put words in my mouth. Its opened my eyes ill say that much. Onto my forum on ladies in sexy heels. The hypocrisy and negativity in this room is stifling. "

Just clear one thing up, is it true to say you would never share the woman you are in love with? No matter what the situation? Have we misunderstood that? We don't want to put words in any ones mouth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think he did say that, but so what? Not everyone wants to share. I really don't understand why people are so down on him for being honest. Why is it a problem? I have read the whole thread and I don't think he's been down on people for sharing, he's just said he doesn't understand why people can, because he can't.

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

We don't have a problem with his question either, just trying to explain the reaction of others. I guess a lot of people assume if u are on a swinging site you are happy to share and understand why others do. It's probably more true to say the majority of single guys on here are happier to receive than give. Phrasing a statement or question in a forum can often lead to a lot of misunderstanding.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I have read the whole thread too and have seen people answer the OP and the OP not like the answers so his posts were defensive.

Not one person said he can't have his _iew, but they don't have to agree with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Folk have got angry and insulting because someone has dared to ask them to try and help him understand their preferences! Try and dress it up however we like but that's what appears to have happened here. I cannot help but wonder why some have reacted that way.

If someone didn't understand why I find women attractive and asked me to help them understand then I'd try to explain. If they still didn't understand then that would be fine, as long as they respect and accept my preference all is well. I certainly wouldn't feel the need to get angry and use insults!

I personally think that a number of contributors to the thread have done a good job at trying to help give the Op a better insight and understanding, there's been some very good posts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"....

Good post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I personally think that a number of contributors to the thread have done a good job at trying to help give the Op a better insight and understanding, there's been some very good posts. "
many thanks.

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

I personally think that a number of contributors to the thread have done a good job at trying to help give the Op a better insight and understanding, there's been some very good posts. "

If you read the original post, it's not about cuckolding and understanding that preference...' don't you fear your partner leaving you' is applicable to every couple who are on this site to 'swing'... So it might have caused less heat if the op had simply said I can't understand why people 'swing'.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Sorry but I must be reading the wrong thread as the only insults I have removed have been one from a couple and one from the OP.

The OP's other minor insults are still on here but I can't see anyone else insulting the man while answering the question so I am not sure why people are making out there are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sorry but I must be reading the wrong thread as the only insults I have removed have been one from a couple and one from the OP.

The OP's other minor insults are still on here but I can't see anyone else insulting the man while answering the question so I am not sure why people are making out there are.i would like to know how you have the power to be judge and jury by removing any posts at all?? Be they mine or anyone else's. There have been no obvious inflammatory or abusive threads by anyone. Just points of _iew and opinions.Just because you may have found something to raise an eyebrow at doesn't mean anyone else was perturbed by any of the above statements. I found much of what you wrote disagreeable but i sucked it up cos im a big boy. You don't see me flapping or trying to erase anything. Unless you tell me that fabswingers is indeed owned by you then i find it an abuse of power that you've erased anything written on this subject so far. As far as im concerned no lines have been crossed and if were to go with popular opinion of me im considered conservative to say the least. So if im not offended i find it hard to believe anyone else has been. The words "power" and "trip" spring to mind. I wonder how ling this post will survive and if ill be given another three day ban .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think that statement is applicable to any person in a relationship, not just people on here. I'm not sure if it would have made a difference if he'd referred to just swinging as opposed to cuckolding specifically (in the title at least).

I see it this way- how often do 2 people actually stay together forever? Most people have long and short relationships but at some point that relationship comes to an end. Do we just stay single because we know that our next relationship is unlikely to still be going strong in 50 years.... or do we enjoy the moment as long as it lasts and try not to worry too much?

I think that there's more chance of someone's partner running off with someone else if they are swinging, just by the intimate nature of it. But there's still a chance that they would run off with someone else down the street if they weren't swinging. ...And also still a chance that the relationship will just break down with no-one else involved.

I really think he was just being honest and saying what many (not all) people worry about... that at some point their relationship will break down....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

why are you on this site bouncer, if you would not let your wife fuck other men. is it ok for you to fuck other women on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

just read bouncer's profile, not bad. he cant understand why a man would let his beloved WIFE be fucked by another man, but his profile states he WANTS to meet COUPLES as well as women, so he dont mind fucking someone elses WIFE.

really am puzzled now, this is a SWINGERS site bouncer !!!!!!

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By *bbandflowCouple over a year ago

South Devon

I really think he was just being honest and saying what many (not all) people worry about... that at some point their relationship will break down.... "

I think you will agree that watching your partner being intimate with someone else is not the experience of most couples..but my point was that his first post describes what all swinger couples experience..that is witnessing or knowing that your partner has sex with someone other than you..so as I said it would have been less confusing if his thread had said ' I can't understand why couples swing'

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By *ovi CoupleCouple over a year ago

Novi

"I've joined couples since my early 20s so its not new to me. "

Just curious, how man have left thier husbands for you?

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By *eaceeandloveeWoman over a year ago

portsmouth

For us, the things we do we do as a couple, honestly, openly, and above all together. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's a case of each to their own. J & I are secure in our relationship and there is no fear whatsoever (on either side) that one of us will fall for someone else.

Swinging is something that we like, and we play when we feel like it. It's not the be all and end all of our relationship though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i find that some people don't understand cuckolding whatsoever,they get it confused with voyuerism or thnk its somthing t do with food sex.

the womans husband watches her getting fucked by a bigger better younger man or group of men or in some cases he's not even there and knows shes getting knobbed and he's sat at home probably on here wanking and waiting !!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's a case of each to their own. J & I are secure in our relationship and there is no fear whatsoever (on either side) that one of us will fall for someone else.

Swinging is something that we like, and we play when we feel like it. It's not the be all and end all of our relationship though.

Good post.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's probably a fair point.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Sorry but I must be reading the wrong thread as the only insults I have removed have been one from a couple and one from the OP.

You didn't suck anything up like a big boy, you chose to abuse people instead and hy your posts were removed.

If however you think you should be allowed to post abusive posts then you need to ask Admin to change the rules for you.

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By *uncpl2015Couple over a year ago

Bridgend Area

Hang on ... where is cheating coming in ? We are a very happily married couple been together nearly 20years and more in love now than when we met. We are not cheating... we could only do this being as secure and in love as we are.. No way i am falling for anyone else.

Hubby finds it a real turn on watching me with with another man.. he us involved as well mind.. nit cuck as its mwant by most ie humiliation.. Hubby is the one in charge of all meets and what he says goes.

If he didnt like it we wouldnt do it. only ever meet with both of us there.

And i can assure you i do not NEED anyone else hubby can more than satisfy me and does at least twice a day.. why men think we do this because partner isnt enough is completely beyond me.. i am more than happy. this is just bit of fun now and then and after a meet we have even more mindblowing sex than normal.

I think its a little hypocritical that you have this attitude happy to be the extra guy but dont understand it and wouldnt do it.

It is each to their own, however not really sure why you joined a swinging site if you dont get it. Swinging is for grown up mentally mature open mindec adults. its a lifestyle not something to get in just to get extra.

You say its beyond you.. well seeing where you are i am sure your attitude to it is a bit beyond us. but there we go each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oops...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oops..."

Another one bites the dust!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Swinging is for grown up mentally mature open minded adults"

I think that should be on the joke thread.

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

""Swinging is for grown up mentally mature open minded adults"

I think that should be on the joke thread."

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By *riskynriskyCouple over a year ago

Essex.

I think we scared him away... God, us wife sharing freaks are nasty....

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

"I think we scared him away... God, us wife sharing freaks are nasty....

He will be back, new name, same pics, same attitude

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By *red and florenceCouple over a year ago

whitstable

"I think we scared him away... God, us wife sharing freaks are nasty....

He will be back, new name, same pics, same attitude

"
they always come back!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think we scared him away... God, us wife sharing freaks are nasty....

He will be back, new name, same pics, same attitude

they always come back!"

Does that mean FAB is like the Hotel California?

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

Well that was a thread and a half...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well that was a thread and a half..."

now he has gone, who would like to come around and shag my Mrs while I am tied to a chair in the understairs cupboard?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well that was a thread and a half...

now he has gone, who would like to come around and shag my Mrs while I am tied to a chair in the understairs cupboard?

Dusts strapon down and sticks hand in air me please, oh you mean men oops sowie my bad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well that was a thread and a half...

now he has gone, who would like to come around and shag my Mrs while I am tied to a chair in the understairs cupboard?

Dusts strapon down and sticks hand in air me please, oh you mean men oops sowie my bad

you get the dust off and get down here, both of us are quite receptive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well that was a thread and a half...

now he has gone, who would like to come around and shag my Mrs while I am tied to a chair in the understairs cupboard?

Dusts strapon down and sticks hand in air me please, oh you mean men oops sowie my bad

you get the dust off and get down here, both of us are quite receptive

Fook hang on I just tripped while trying to get legs through straps , give me 5 to sort me self out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well that was a thread and a half...

now he has gone, who would like to come around and shag my Mrs while I am tied to a chair in the understairs cupboard?

Dusts strapon down and sticks hand in air me please, oh you mean men oops sowie my bad

you get the dust off and get down here, both of us are quite receptive

Fook hang on I just tripped while trying to get legs through straps , give me 5 to sort me self out

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

You lot still driving off poor innocent members?

I'm appalled, genuinely I am

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By *uncpl2015Couple over a year ago

Bridgend Area

""Swinging is for grown up mentally mature open minded adults"

I think that should be on the joke thread."

Point proven

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

very well said funcpl2012

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