FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Forums very cliquey
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"[Removed by clique at 08/12/21 16:37:49]" | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Jealous of what exactly???" Don't think the OP can tell you/us, we're obviously not part of the clique. ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. " This is exactly how I see the forum ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. " ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"ah the forum ![]() Mention away. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"In the words of a wee Scottish lass…this is utter pish! I dip in and out the forums, I’m not here to be part of a clique that’s very high school mentality, some people know others well and have a laugh and a bit of banter, just as you would outside of here We’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea, our comments may go unanswered, our pictures might not be well received, it doesn’t really matter not in the grand scheme of things, you do you and worry less about others xx" ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. This is exactly how I see the forum ![]() I agree. I've just recently rejoined and everyone has been very lovely. Just treat people like you want to be treated. It's nice to be nice. ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. " Well put. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"[Removed by poster at 08/12/21 16:37:49]" You're not helping yourself if you delete a post you start then not join in, people remember these things ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"ah the forum ![]() i'm not brave enough or that | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Jealous of what exactly??? Don't think the OP can tell you/us, we're obviously not part of the clique. ![]() I'm definitely not and don't want to be....couldn't think of anything worse! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. " This is a great analogy ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I remember reading this when I joined 5 months ago. I just chatted and read and joined in and made friends. After a few months I felt at home. It's just people. Some you will get on with, some you won't. " I remember reading it 5 years ago. I still don’t know who’s in this clique that keeps popping up! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. " You always have such wise words. Totally this OP. Just join in and post where and when you want without overthinking it. Does it really matter if others have banter and we are on the sidelines? Just take it all at face value and don't take anything to heart. This site is meant to be fun after all. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I remember reading this when I joined 5 months ago. I just chatted and read and joined in and made friends. After a few months I felt at home. It's just people. Some you will get on with, some you won't. I remember reading it 5 years ago. I still don’t know who’s in this clique that keeps popping up!" Is that because you’re unknowingly the queen of said secret society? ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. " The other side of this is that a group of friends having banter are hard to approach at times because you don’t get the in jokes etc. I can understand why some people feel like this. I certainly feel like an outsider most of the time even though I’m active in the forums and have many conversations privately | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I remember reading this when I joined 5 months ago. I just chatted and read and joined in and made friends. After a few months I felt at home. It's just people. Some you will get on with, some you won't. I remember reading it 5 years ago. I still don’t know who’s in this clique that keeps popping up! Is that because you’re unknowingly the queen of said secret society? ![]() ![]() Doubt it I hardly speak to anyone privately ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"[Removed by poster at 08/12/21 16:37:49] You're not helping yourself if you delete a post you start then not join in, people remember these things ![]() What sort of people remember stuff like that and for what purpose??... oh... wait a minute .. ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"It can be a little bit cliquey but that's true of every virtual or real life gathering! Just jump in - you may get responses or you may get ignored. Everyone is different that's what makes life interesting " She’s right. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I dare anyone to find a forum where there aren’t cliques, and people complaining about said cliques" Hell yes. If anyone thinks it’s bad here, go and join a photographers forum. ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Just muscle in I do. " Oi ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As a quip once said: I don't want to be a part of a clique who wants me as a friend. Or something. No idea the content of the OP but I get the impression the active members have deeper relationships than less frequent members which spills out into the forums ... It looks like in jokes but often comes from seeing the start of the joke etc. But I get that can feel a bit exclusionary to some people. I don't think it's intentional, but can mean it's hard to join in. I'd be cool with someone PMing me and say wtf was that random comment about. Or even asking in the thread. ![]() Yeah same. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. The other side of this is that a group of friends having banter are hard to approach at times because you don’t get the in jokes etc. I can understand why some people feel like this. I certainly feel like an outsider most of the time even though I’m active in the forums and have many conversations privately " Yes, that’s true, but I think a lot of people try and be friendly and welcoming. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Just muscle in I do. Oi ![]() ![]() You know he does that on purpose, right ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Is it? Some people will naturally hit it off with others, is that a clique, perfer to say its a reflection of life. Be interesting and you (thats an anybody you) may be come a part of that. There is more in life to worry about in life than a perception of the status of forum members tbh." Be interesting,here!!! Why? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"It can certainly feel like it sometimes. You'll see in jokes or perhaps a thread like this person's picture. And some of the flirting threads can feel a bit intimidating etc. It's sometimes difficult to put aside your own anxiety and shyness. And I personally think the forum is more difficult than a pub. In a pub you have eye contact etc which makes it easier to engage with others. Or if someone if by themselves I'd ask if they want to come join us on our table. Things that are difficult to do on an online forum. It isn't from malace it's just different to real life and it sometimes takes a while to get your head around that ![]() You make a great point when online you can’t pick up on someone’s body language which is a large percentage of our communication | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I just see a bunch of people that have got to know each other and become friendly on the forums. Naturally, they interact with their friends more, but since I've joined I've never felt purposely ignored. Sometimes my comments don't get replies, and sometimes I don't get picked in some of the games, but that's life and even happens to some of the more regular posters. Keep posting, keep chatting and having a laugh and you will soon make friends in the forums and it won't feel that way anymore. " That’s true, and we all get ignored at times, missed on threads or feel invisible, it’s part and parcel of a big forum. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"It can certainly feel like it sometimes. You'll see in jokes or perhaps a thread like this person's picture. And some of the flirting threads can feel a bit intimidating etc. It's sometimes difficult to put aside your own anxiety and shyness. And I personally think the forum is more difficult than a pub. In a pub you have eye contact etc which makes it easier to engage with others. Or if someone if by themselves I'd ask if they want to come join us on our table. Things that are difficult to do on an online forum. It isn't from malace it's just different to real life and it sometimes takes a while to get your head around that ![]() Totally think that's a big problem of online forum and feeling excluded. If I saw someone looking uncomfortable or shy I'd say hello why don't you join me over here. Or just a smile from a stranger can make you feel at ease. All these things are missing on line yet such crucial things when you communicate with strangers. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Just muscle in I do. Oi ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I prefer a gentle touch tbh ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I just see a bunch of people that have got to know each other and become friendly on the forums. Naturally, they interact with their friends more, but since I've joined I've never felt purposely ignored. Sometimes my comments don't get replies, and sometimes I don't get picked in some of the games, but that's life and even happens to some of the more regular posters. Keep posting, keep chatting and having a laugh and you will soon make friends in the forums and it won't feel that way anymore. That’s true, and we all get ignored at times, missed on threads or feel invisible, it’s part and parcel of a big forum." There are people who get ignored on a constant basis though | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I just see a bunch of people that have got to know each other and become friendly on the forums. Naturally, they interact with their friends more, but since I've joined I've never felt purposely ignored. Sometimes my comments don't get replies, and sometimes I don't get picked in some of the games, but that's life and even happens to some of the more regular posters. Keep posting, keep chatting and having a laugh and you will soon make friends in the forums and it won't feel that way anymore. That’s true, and we all get ignored at times, missed on threads or feel invisible, it’s part and parcel of a big forum. There are people who get ignored on a constant basis though" Who said that! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive. A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in. I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times. Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique ![]() ![]() This certainly about groups away from the forum ^^ | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Just here for the comments and popcorn ![]() Shove the popcorn. Where’s the cake? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. " How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Just muscle in I do. " Feisty one you are. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?" I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. " I quite like an Irish accent. Just sayin ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. " I for one am glad you persisted as I think you always make very thoughtful contributions. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive. A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in. I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times. Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique ![]() ![]() Nail on head Babs ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I do sympathise because it can feel very exclusionary and it's tough not to feel ignored at times, like it's some giant social club you're not a member of. Then you realise that it doesn't really matter anyway, jump into threads and say whatever you want to say. If you never feature on the "I fancy you", "who is the hottest", "who do you want to bang" type threads, well, nor do I, nor do a lot of others, so don't go in them if they make you feel isolated. Go into the threads that interest you and don't let a lack of reaction stop you from posting on here. You can either view it as "Oh no, nobody cares what I say" or as "hurrah, nobody cares what I say!". There's a lot more freedom in taking the second view. Nobody gives a shiny shite, so I'll say whatever I want ![]() I think there is probably a lot of people who nod and smile at many many comments people make and secretly add them to their crush list without ever replying to a thread comment. Contributions are valued in a readers head if Not acknowledged on the page. I do all the time anyway ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. " The “Be Kind” brigade being amongst the biggest fucking hypocrites on the internet!? You do surprise me! ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. " I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"[Removed by poster at 08/12/21 16:37:49]" I don’t know what this said but I just post to anything I think I can add to or try to make a funny comment. Everyone should be included but may not always be replied to at certain times. Did that make sense? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I do sympathise because it can feel very exclusionary and it's tough not to feel ignored at times, like it's some giant social club you're not a member of. Then you realise that it doesn't really matter anyway, jump into threads and say whatever you want to say. If you never feature on the "I fancy you", "who is the hottest", "who do you want to bang" type threads, well, nor do I, nor do a lot of others, so don't go in them if they make you feel isolated. Go into the threads that interest you and don't let a lack of reaction stop you from posting on here. You can either view it as "Oh no, nobody cares what I say" or as "hurrah, nobody cares what I say!". There's a lot more freedom in taking the second view. Nobody gives a shiny shite, so I'll say whatever I want ![]() ![]() It's true, I think we all do it. It's impossible to acknowledge every contribution that makes me smile or that I agree with, without completely taking over someone else's thread which feels rude. In a time where most other forums use software that allows facebook-style reactions this older style forum can take a lot of getting used to and can feel a lonely place to be in the meantime. I do sympathise with that view. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive. A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in. I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times. Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique ![]() ![]() You're a wise young woman Babs. I think that the forum can be cliquey and I was very much against there being such a thing before. You see it on threads frequently, people join in and try and tear down opinions that differ/posters they don't like and then bleat about being kind/showing respect to other posters in a later thread. I do think, OP, that people will disagree with your posts sometimes - people won't post exactly how you want them to and sometimes might challenge your viewpoint. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide " Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. " But ignored for the most part | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. But ignored for the most part" Oooo….meeeeoooowwww ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Got to love a clique just join in the conversation then stand there in a awkward silence until someone breaks and leaves allways fun but really awkward ![]() ...whilst awkwardly starring down at your shoes from time to time ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. But ignored for the most part" The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. But ignored for the most part The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all." And yet everyone is saying that they are. Go figure | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. But ignored for the most part The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all." Makes me a bit sad sometimes! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. But ignored for the most part The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all. And yet everyone is saying that they are. Go figure " Exactly. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. But ignored for the most part The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all. Makes me a bit sad sometimes! " I ignore certain threads as you know just who is going to reply and how the thread is going to go. I feel sorry for newbies or anyone who tries to input their opinion x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? " It was hastily deleted. It’s all a bit of a mystery really. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? " It was about forum members being jealous... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous..." I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud?" Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() I feel your pain I think ?? Yes but they are probably the best on Fab! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() I think he likes you ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. " Being Irish makes you hotter ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I'm the founding membdr of boob appreciation club..(see my thread.. https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/906042) all are welcome. My inbox awaits applications ![]() I sent you tits months ago ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() ![]() ![]() One thinks you are right! But I am intrigued to know what the post was as l am quite partial to a bit of veuve de clique? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Some of the women in here? Tschh. Strutting about in killer heels. Makes the place kinda clicky…" Think I can strut in the biggest heels on the forums | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() ![]() ![]() The poster asked if anyone else agreed that forum members were jealous... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() ![]() ![]() Jealous of what/who? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() ![]() ![]() No idea, they didn't say ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Jealous of The plethora of sumptuous boobs belonging to fab ladies on this thread! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"bugger I missed the OP! Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement? It was about forum members being jealous... I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed. Did I type that out loud? Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() God knows ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"The forums actually very dull, too many people moaning, complaining about the site, wishing it was like other sites (stay there then!) and lots of arse licking. But we still login so lighten up and take it for what it is ![]() There’s an arse licking thread too? Bloody hell I am missing out! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals." Very same page but guess that’s how it works | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"The forums actually very dull, too many people moaning, complaining about the site, wishing it was like other sites (stay there then!) and lots of arse licking. But we still login so lighten up and take it for what it is ![]() sis you ever meet Annie? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. But ignored for the most part" not true | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals." What constitutes a hijacking? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking?" It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking? It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() Such as having a chat with their partner? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking? It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() Which happens often! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" Such as having a chat with their partner? " Yep. Gets very tedious. So especially that! I can quite happily ignore all the shit on the forum, but I do get why others want to be included and feel like they aren't. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive. A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in. I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times. Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique ![]() ![]() Well said ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking? It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() Does it happen that often? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. " That's awful and not the first time I have heard of this happening from those who claim to be inclusive. I rarely engage in those type threads because it turns into a 'blow smoke up your mate exercise' | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in. There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative. Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that. So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. How is it different to a pub? Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group? I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long. If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. But ignored for the most part The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all. And yet everyone is saying that they are. Go figure " Only when it suits and choosy as to who they are inclusive too. I have seen people rinse newbies on one thread while claiming that everyone needs to 'be kind' on another. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge. I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also. I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely. I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive. I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish. That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are. I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service. " • Please don't stop. I'm hoping your viewpoint and experiences will serve as the vanguard to make people (myself included) think twice about what they say on here, the manner in which it is said and how inclusive that comment is. The sycophancy isn't lost on me as I freely admit that I often look out for your posts. They make total sense. And I agree with you here. And as I mentioned in last night's thread "Men support Men on Fab"...I am sometimes hesitant in posting my comments "...because I'm aware of the invisible cliques that exist on here. I have no proof or evidence for this; it's just my acute perception.". And I stand by that remark. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking? It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() Only on about every second thread lol ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking? It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() ![]() No it doesn't. ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Absolutely it’s why’s we are here" Xx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy X" Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy X Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. " True I’m like that ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy X Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. " Xxx ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking? It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh yes it does..... (Had too after all its panto season) ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"The idea of inclusivity for some is to share personal messages from others within their clique Telegram groups. The hypocrisy is mind blowing ![]() I've heard this. ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy X Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. " But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I totally understand this! I'm aways ignored on threads. I was gonna post about it, but thought I'd only get comments like " who said that"? I've been swinging myself for 12 years. Himself is a granddaddy of swinging. He won't mind me saying that, as he's an old git. ![]() I personally would love to hear from your combined experiences. We can all learn something from everyone | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking? It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() HE'S BEHIND YOU! ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I totally understand this! I'm aways ignored on threads. I was gonna post about it, but thought I'd only get comments like " who said that"? I've been swinging myself for 12 years. Himself is a granddaddy of swinging. He won't mind me saying that, as he's an old git. ![]() Don't let anyone make you feel like you can't post. If you have something to say then go for it. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. I know it seems like it sometimes but occasionally you do get more than the same 5 or 6 people commenting on a post xx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals. What constitutes a hijacking? It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Ohhhhh saucy! I wondered what that was poking in me ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy X Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"The idea of inclusivity for some is to share personal messages from others within their clique Telegram groups. The hypocrisy is mind blowing ![]() Do I not like that. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"The idea of inclusivity for some is to share personal messages from others within their clique Telegram groups. The hypocrisy is mind blowing ![]() Do you use Telegram? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy X Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ![]() ![]() In general ha ha You know me, I'll talk to most people ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I totally understand this! I'm aways ignored on threads. I was gonna post about it, but thought I'd only get comments like " who said that"? I've been swinging myself for 12 years. Himself is a granddaddy of swinging. He won't mind me saying that, as he's an old git. ![]() Speak up. It doesn't matter if the majority don't listen - it's those friendships and connections that matter. ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy X Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ![]() ![]() ![]() I’m actually scared to answer this in case we get accused of having a conversation ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy X Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Come on Nora stop hogging the thread ![]() | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |