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Forums very cliquey

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By *hirdTimesACharm OP   Couple  over a year ago

northamptonshire

[Removed by poster at 08/12/21 16:37:49]

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

Jealous of what exactly???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Intriguing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"[Removed by clique at 08/12/21 16:37:49]"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why are they?

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By *yron69Man  over a year ago

Fareham

Just muscle in I do.

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By *sBlueWoman  over a year ago

Up North

I don’t think so. You get out what you put in

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Jealous of what exactly???"

Don't think the OP can tell you/us, we're obviously not part of the clique.

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

WD40 is good for that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I disagree. As a relative newcomer to the forums, I’ve found many to be welcoming and friendly to me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

ah the forum squad.

never mention them or you will be punished

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple  over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Is it?

Some people will naturally hit it off with others, is that a clique, perfer to say its a reflection of life. Be interesting and you (thats an anybody you) may be come a part of that.

There is more in life to worry about in life than a perception of the status of forum members tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple  over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

not found it so myself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. "

This is exactly how I see the forum

NBVN x

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By *iddlesticksMan  over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. "

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By *iddlesticksMan  over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"ah the forum squad.

never mention them or you will be punished"

Mention away.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It is what it is I guess xx

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By *ancer36Woman  over a year ago

Stirling

In the words of a wee Scottish lass…this is utter pish!

I dip in and out the forums, I’m not here to be part of a clique that’s very high school mentality, some people know others well and have a laugh and a bit of banter, just as you would outside of here

We’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea, our comments may go unanswered, our pictures might not be well received, it doesn’t really matter not in the grand scheme of things, you do you and worry less about others xx

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple  over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

The more you join in, the more people we recognise your name. If you see forum members you think of as in the clique in your local area, grab a social with them. You’ll find they’re fairly normal! Well normal for us!

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"In the words of a wee Scottish lass…this is utter pish!

I dip in and out the forums, I’m not here to be part of a clique that’s very high school mentality, some people know others well and have a laugh and a bit of banter, just as you would outside of here

We’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea, our comments may go unanswered, our pictures might not be well received, it doesn’t really matter not in the grand scheme of things, you do you and worry less about others xx"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming.

This is exactly how I see the forum

NBVN x"

I agree. I've just recently rejoined and everyone has been very lovely.

Just treat people like you want to be treated. It's nice to be nice.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman  over a year ago

ashford

Yes it can get that way! But best to just join in and if u get ignored dont let it bother u! Dont ever take things here to serious is best x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. "

Well put.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That'll be the sound of Knitter doing her knitting.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If it’s not cliquey it’s not big enough. If everyone was one happy family it would be an echo chamber. It takes all sorts, nice people, abrasive people, funny people, confident/shy/rude/polite, if there’s not a table for you to sit at it’s not the forums fault. Vive le difference!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 08/12/21 16:37:49]"

You're not helping yourself if you delete a post you start then not join in, people remember these things

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"ah the forum squad.

never mention them or you will be punished

Mention away. "

i'm not brave enough or that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I used to be a tad more regular in the forums.

I dont pop in so much these days , not because of anything but i am a busy Welshman lol.

I have always had a good chuckle in the forums and i have made some wonderful friends.

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Jealous of what exactly???

Don't think the OP can tell you/us, we're obviously not part of the clique. "

I'm definitely not and don't want to be....couldn't think of anything worse!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. "

This is a great analogy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Blimey if you make friends on the forums suddenly it’s a clique

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The more light hearted threads are fine, the roast or comment on the person above type thread's I find very cliquey. Usually the same people, who seem to know each other well, which is fine.

But would it bother me if I wasn't interacting with other people in the chat?

Fuck no.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I remember reading this when I joined 5 months ago. I just chatted and read and joined in and made friends. After a few months I felt at home. It's just people. Some you will get on with, some you won't.

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I remember reading this when I joined 5 months ago. I just chatted and read and joined in and made friends. After a few months I felt at home. It's just people. Some you will get on with, some you won't. "

I remember reading it 5 years ago. I still don’t know who’s in this clique that keeps popping up!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. "

You always have such wise words. Totally this OP. Just join in and post where and when you want without overthinking it. Does it really matter if others have banter and we are on the sidelines? Just take it all at face value and don't take anything to heart. This site is meant to be fun after all.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I remember reading this when I joined 5 months ago. I just chatted and read and joined in and made friends. After a few months I felt at home. It's just people. Some you will get on with, some you won't.

I remember reading it 5 years ago. I still don’t know who’s in this clique that keeps popping up!"

Is that because you’re unknowingly the queen of said secret society?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming. "

The other side of this is that a group of friends having banter are hard to approach at times because you don’t get the in jokes etc.

I can understand why some people feel like this. I certainly feel like an outsider most of the time even though I’m active in the forums and have many conversations privately

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I remember reading this when I joined 5 months ago. I just chatted and read and joined in and made friends. After a few months I felt at home. It's just people. Some you will get on with, some you won't.

I remember reading it 5 years ago. I still don’t know who’s in this clique that keeps popping up!

Is that because you’re unknowingly the queen of said secret society? "

Doubt it I hardly speak to anyone privately

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd say this, (to the op particularly, but anyone in general) just join in. I've not noticed a clique at all. Are some people friendlier with some than they are with others? Yes, but that's not a clique. That's a normal friendship.

Again just say hi, the forums are great, and very welcoming.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 08/12/21 16:37:49]

You're not helping yourself if you delete a post you start then not join in, people remember these things "

What sort of people remember stuff like that and for what purpose??... oh... wait a minute ..

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman  over a year ago

Southampton

It can be a little bit cliquey but that's true of every virtual or real life gathering!

Just jump in - you may get responses or you may get ignored. Everyone is different that's what makes life interesting

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am definitely not in a clique that’s for shour ha ha

God I haven’t a filter and don’t care what I say

As eventually in my post I speak my mind on the subject at hand

Hence how some off my posts can come across is really did she just say that opps I forget it’s public sometime ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It can be a little bit cliquey but that's true of every virtual or real life gathering!

Just jump in - you may get responses or you may get ignored. Everyone is different that's what makes life interesting "

She’s right.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ive heard the next line of duty season will be uncovering who’s in the mysterious clique

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By *heGateKeeperMan  over a year ago

Stratford

It can be a bit like that at times but like everyone has said it’s the same for any forum interaction. In general the forums now are as open, welcoming and supportive as I’ve ever known them and I’ve been here on and off for 7-8 years

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By *hil most chillMan  over a year ago

South East & Europe

I dare anyone to find a forum where there aren’t cliques, and people complaining about said cliques

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

It can certainly feel like it sometimes. You'll see in jokes or perhaps a thread like this person's picture. And some of the flirting threads can feel a bit intimidating etc.

It's sometimes difficult to put aside your own anxiety and shyness. And I personally think the forum is more difficult than a pub. In a pub you have eye contact etc which makes it easier to engage with others. Or if someone if by themselves I'd ask if they want to come join us on our table. Things that are difficult to do on an online forum.

It isn't from malace it's just different to real life and it sometimes takes a while to get your head around that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I dare anyone to find a forum where there aren’t cliques, and people complaining about said cliques"

Hell yes.

If anyone thinks it’s bad here, go and join a photographers forum.

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By *mily36CWoman  over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Just keep mentioning cake ...then it's all good

Or, be seasonal and keep throwing mistletoe mentions around

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just muscle in I do. "

Oi mind the elbows. That was my boob

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As a quip once said: I don't want to be a part of a clique who wants me as a friend.

Or something.

No idea the content of the OP but I get the impression the active members have deeper relationships than less frequent members which spills out into the forums ... It looks like in jokes but often comes from seeing the start of the joke etc.

But I get that can feel a bit exclusionary to some people. I don't think it's intentional, but can mean it's hard to join in.

I'd be cool with someone PMing me and say wtf was that random comment about. Or even asking in the thread.

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

Dunno think it's just you get your face known and make some connections and then you gravitate to those people in a thread who you already know you can have a laugh with.

I think you've definitely just got to get stuck in.

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By *abs..Woman  over a year ago

..

I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive.

A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in.

I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times.

Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique

Generally, I find the forums are what you make of them. Don’t be put off by those that tend to take over. We all have equal right to comment here

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham


"As a quip once said: I don't want to be a part of a clique who wants me as a friend.

Or something.

No idea the content of the OP but I get the impression the active members have deeper relationships than less frequent members which spills out into the forums ... It looks like in jokes but often comes from seeing the start of the joke etc.

But I get that can feel a bit exclusionary to some people. I don't think it's intentional, but can mean it's hard to join in.

I'd be cool with someone PMing me and say wtf was that random comment about. Or even asking in the thread.

"

Yeah same.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Look at the forum like a pub. You’ll get different groups of friends, and they know each other, and they bounce off each other and there’s banter. It doesn’t mean other people aren’t welcome to join, and I think most people are very welcoming.

The other side of this is that a group of friends having banter are hard to approach at times because you don’t get the in jokes etc.

I can understand why some people feel like this. I certainly feel like an outsider most of the time even though I’m active in the forums and have many conversations privately "

Yes, that’s true, but I think a lot of people try and be friendly and welcoming.

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By *mily36CWoman  over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"Just muscle in I do.

Oi mind the elbows. That was my boob "

You know he does that on purpose, right

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By *ackagain!!Woman  over a year ago

There


"Is it?

Some people will naturally hit it off with others, is that a clique, perfer to say its a reflection of life. Be interesting and you (thats an anybody you) may be come a part of that.

There is more in life to worry about in life than a perception of the status of forum members tbh."

Be interesting,here!!! Why?

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By *ockosaurusMan  over a year ago

Warwick

I just see a bunch of people that have got to know each other and become friendly on the forums.

Naturally, they interact with their friends more, but since I've joined I've never felt purposely ignored.

Sometimes my comments don't get replies, and sometimes I don't get picked in some of the games, but that's life and even happens to some of the more regular posters.

Keep posting, keep chatting and having a laugh and you will soon make friends in the forums and it won't feel that way anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It can certainly feel like it sometimes. You'll see in jokes or perhaps a thread like this person's picture. And some of the flirting threads can feel a bit intimidating etc.

It's sometimes difficult to put aside your own anxiety and shyness. And I personally think the forum is more difficult than a pub. In a pub you have eye contact etc which makes it easier to engage with others. Or if someone if by themselves I'd ask if they want to come join us on our table. Things that are difficult to do on an online forum.

It isn't from malace it's just different to real life and it sometimes takes a while to get your head around that "

You make a great point when online you can’t pick up on someone’s body language which is a large percentage of our communication

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I just see a bunch of people that have got to know each other and become friendly on the forums.

Naturally, they interact with their friends more, but since I've joined I've never felt purposely ignored.

Sometimes my comments don't get replies, and sometimes I don't get picked in some of the games, but that's life and even happens to some of the more regular posters.

Keep posting, keep chatting and having a laugh and you will soon make friends in the forums and it won't feel that way anymore. "

That’s true, and we all get ignored at times, missed on threads or feel invisible, it’s part and parcel of a big forum.

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land


"It can certainly feel like it sometimes. You'll see in jokes or perhaps a thread like this person's picture. And some of the flirting threads can feel a bit intimidating etc.

It's sometimes difficult to put aside your own anxiety and shyness. And I personally think the forum is more difficult than a pub. In a pub you have eye contact etc which makes it easier to engage with others. Or if someone if by themselves I'd ask if they want to come join us on our table. Things that are difficult to do on an online forum.

It isn't from malace it's just different to real life and it sometimes takes a while to get your head around that

You make a great point when online you can’t pick up on someone’s body language which is a large percentage of our communication"

Totally think that's a big problem of online forum and feeling excluded. If I saw someone looking uncomfortable or shy I'd say hello why don't you join me over here. Or just a smile from a stranger can make you feel at ease. All these things are missing on line yet such crucial things when you communicate with strangers.

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tbis is why i have started my Introduce Yourself thread

A chance to get to know one another .

So get jolly well in and tell us about yourself

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By *andare63Man  over a year ago

oldham

As long as you are true to yourself. Then who gives a toss if there is a clique?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Got to love a clique just join in the conversation then stand there in a awkward silence until someone breaks and leaves allways fun but really awkward

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just muscle in I do.

Oi mind the elbows. That was my boob

You know he does that on purpose, right "

I prefer a gentle touch tbh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I just see a bunch of people that have got to know each other and become friendly on the forums.

Naturally, they interact with their friends more, but since I've joined I've never felt purposely ignored.

Sometimes my comments don't get replies, and sometimes I don't get picked in some of the games, but that's life and even happens to some of the more regular posters.

Keep posting, keep chatting and having a laugh and you will soon make friends in the forums and it won't feel that way anymore.

That’s true, and we all get ignored at times, missed on threads or feel invisible, it’s part and parcel of a big forum."

There are people who get ignored on a constant basis though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I just see a bunch of people that have got to know each other and become friendly on the forums.

Naturally, they interact with their friends more, but since I've joined I've never felt purposely ignored.

Sometimes my comments don't get replies, and sometimes I don't get picked in some of the games, but that's life and even happens to some of the more regular posters.

Keep posting, keep chatting and having a laugh and you will soon make friends in the forums and it won't feel that way anymore.

That’s true, and we all get ignored at times, missed on threads or feel invisible, it’s part and parcel of a big forum.

There are people who get ignored on a constant basis though"

Who said that!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive.

A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in.

I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times.

Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique

Generally, I find the forums are what you make of them. Don’t be put off by those that tend to take over. We all have equal right to comment here "

This certainly about groups away from the forum ^^

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just here for the comments and popcorn

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just here for the comments and popcorn "

Shove the popcorn. Where’s the cake?

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By *eyond PurityCouple  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

OP, you seem to get spikey whenever a thread you start doesn’t go the way you want it to.

You also seem to think that the ‘clique’ have a go at you and you get all defensive.

Maybe try and be inclusive in your posts and relax a little. This is a site to enjoy different people and their views. Doesn’t mean you have to agree, if you don’t walk away.

You’ll get more out of this site by trying to be more inclusive and not letting things get to you so much

K

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

I’ve never seen so many new posters on here as I have lately, I think it’s the least cliquey it has been for ages.

Unless it’s everyone using Christmas names?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too. "

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Op if you dont get your own way you get arsey if you dont like what you want to hear you get arsey

The forums are not

Cliquey

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By *ixi n DogCouple  over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

Forums are forums. We've only been on here for a short while but I have been on various other forums for a very long time, including over a decade of being a moderator on a forum with over 50,000 active users. If your posts are interesting, respectful and within the spirit of the existing community, you'll generally get a response.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t know exactly what the OP said but can probably guess.

The forums *can* be cliquey (imho) at times particularly when it comes to those popularity affirmation threads (you know, the ones that usually start with “which forumite would you …”) when it’s the same old names circulated all the time.

But the clique, if there is such a thing, evolves over time and tends to be the most prominent forum users of that time.

I think I might have been in it once. Even though I didn’t like to think so.

So the more you use the forums and participate, the more part of the clique you become.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tbh, I hadn’t noticed you having issues op. Last thread of yours I saw was asking for profile help and I gave you some really positive feedback.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just muscle in I do. "

Feisty one you are.

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By *nitterWoman  over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

I've always found people to be super friendly

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By *uriousscouserWoman  over a year ago

Wirral

I do sympathise because it can feel very exclusionary and it's tough not to feel ignored at times, like it's some giant social club you're not a member of.

Then you realise that it doesn't really matter anyway, jump into threads and say whatever you want to say. If you never feature on the "I fancy you", "who is the hottest", "who do you want to bang" type threads, well, nor do I, nor do a lot of others, so don't go in them if they make you feel isolated.

Go into the threads that interest you and don't let a lack of reaction stop you from posting on here.

You can either view it as "Oh no, nobody cares what I say" or as "hurrah, nobody cares what I say!". There's a lot more freedom in taking the second view. Nobody gives a shiny shite, so I'll say whatever I want

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?"

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

"

I quite like an Irish accent.

Just sayin

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

"

I for one am glad you persisted as I think you always make very thoughtful contributions.

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By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

The forums are not cliquey so much as some people ignore/avoid those people who don’t interest them and focus only on those who give them something - even if thats just posting content.

All of the people I talk to outside the forums, I rarely engage with in the forums to avoid any accusations of LPP or cliques. That and I don’t talk to anyone outside the forums....

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By *good-being-badMan  over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I'm the founding membdr of boob appreciation club..(see my thread.. https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/906042) all are welcome.

My inbox awaits applications

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive.

A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in.

I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times.

Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique

Generally, I find the forums are what you make of them. Don’t be put off by those that tend to take over. We all have equal right to comment here "

Nail on head Babs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I do sympathise because it can feel very exclusionary and it's tough not to feel ignored at times, like it's some giant social club you're not a member of.

Then you realise that it doesn't really matter anyway, jump into threads and say whatever you want to say. If you never feature on the "I fancy you", "who is the hottest", "who do you want to bang" type threads, well, nor do I, nor do a lot of others, so don't go in them if they make you feel isolated.

Go into the threads that interest you and don't let a lack of reaction stop you from posting on here.

You can either view it as "Oh no, nobody cares what I say" or as "hurrah, nobody cares what I say!". There's a lot more freedom in taking the second view. Nobody gives a shiny shite, so I'll say whatever I want "

I think there is probably a lot of people who nod and smile at many many comments people make and secretly add them to their crush list without ever replying to a thread comment. Contributions are valued in a readers head if

Not acknowledged on the page. I do all the time anyway

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

"

The “Be Kind” brigade being amongst the biggest fucking hypocrites on the internet!? You do surprise me!

Sorry to hear about that experience my friend, sadly it’s true across most Social Media. The more vocal and in your face people tend to be about being nice and inclusive, the bigger the hypocrites they tend to be.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

"

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

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By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle


"[Removed by poster at 08/12/21 16:37:49]"

I don’t know what this said but I just post to anything I think I can add to or try to make a funny comment.

Everyone should be included but may not always be replied to at certain times.

Did that make sense?

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By *uriousscouserWoman  over a year ago

Wirral


"I do sympathise because it can feel very exclusionary and it's tough not to feel ignored at times, like it's some giant social club you're not a member of.

Then you realise that it doesn't really matter anyway, jump into threads and say whatever you want to say. If you never feature on the "I fancy you", "who is the hottest", "who do you want to bang" type threads, well, nor do I, nor do a lot of others, so don't go in them if they make you feel isolated.

Go into the threads that interest you and don't let a lack of reaction stop you from posting on here.

You can either view it as "Oh no, nobody cares what I say" or as "hurrah, nobody cares what I say!". There's a lot more freedom in taking the second view. Nobody gives a shiny shite, so I'll say whatever I want

I think there is probably a lot of people who nod and smile at many many comments people make and secretly add them to their crush list without ever replying to a thread comment. Contributions are valued in a readers head if

Not acknowledged on the page. I do all the time anyway "

It's true, I think we all do it. It's impossible to acknowledge every contribution that makes me smile or that I agree with, without completely taking over someone else's thread which feels rude.

In a time where most other forums use software that allows facebook-style reactions this older style forum can take a lot of getting used to and can feel a lonely place to be in the meantime. I do sympathise with that view.

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive.

A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in.

I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times.

Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique

Generally, I find the forums are what you make of them. Don’t be put off by those that tend to take over. We all have equal right to comment here

"

You're a wise young woman Babs. I think that the forum can be cliquey and I was very much against there being such a thing before. You see it on threads frequently, people join in and try and tear down opinions that differ/posters they don't like and then bleat about being kind/showing respect to other posters in a later thread.

I do think, OP, that people will disagree with your posts sometimes - people won't post exactly how you want them to and sometimes might challenge your viewpoint.

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

The original post was about jealous forum members...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide "

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued. "

But ignored for the most part

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

But ignored for the most part"

Oooo….meeeeoooowwww

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By *mily36CWoman  over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"Got to love a clique just join in the conversation then stand there in a awkward silence until someone breaks and leaves allways fun but really awkward "

...whilst awkwardly starring down at your shoes from time to time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If the forum was a pub with all the members at the bar I’d drink there, better than FB that’s for sure

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

But ignored for the most part"

The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

But ignored for the most part

The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all."

And yet everyone is saying that they are. Go figure

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

But ignored for the most part

The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all."

Makes me a bit sad sometimes!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

But ignored for the most part

The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all.

And yet everyone is saying that they are. Go figure "

Exactly.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

But ignored for the most part

The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all.

Makes me a bit sad sometimes! "

I ignore certain threads as you know just who is going to reply and how the thread is going to go. I feel sorry for newbies or anyone who tries to input their opinion x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

"

It was hastily deleted.

It’s all a bit of a mystery really.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

"

It was about forum members being jealous...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous..."

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?"

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ustamanMan  over a year ago

weymouth

All society is a little clique, you just have to keep kicking at the door eventually you get let in

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache "

I feel your pain I think ??

Yes but they are probably the best on Fab!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache

I feel your pain I think ??

Yes but they are probably the best on Fab!

"

I think he likes you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rincess PhoenixWoman  over a year ago

Southampton


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

"

Being Irish makes you hotter the accent makes me go all unnecessary

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm the founding membdr of boob appreciation club..(see my thread.. https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/906042) all are welcome.

My inbox awaits applications "

I sent you tits months ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache

I feel your pain I think ??

Yes but they are probably the best on Fab!

I think he likes you "

One thinks you are right!

But I am intrigued to know what the post was as l am quite partial to a bit of veuve de clique?

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By *yron69Man  over a year ago

Fareham

Some of the women in here? Tschh. Strutting about in killer heels. Makes the place kinda clicky…

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some of the women in here? Tschh. Strutting about in killer heels. Makes the place kinda clicky…"

Think I can strut in the biggest heels on the forums

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache

I feel your pain I think ??

Yes but they are probably the best on Fab!

I think he likes you

One thinks you are right!

But I am intrigued to know what the post was as l am quite partial to a bit of veuve de clique?"

The poster asked if anyone else agreed that forum members were jealous...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's really not. And whilst I do think that there may be groups of people who stick close to one another and aren't that welcoming,the forums are really not cliquey when you look at the full picture. You can't deny that there are so many people on here who are so welcoming and friendly. Maybe look past the people who you have a problem with and you'll have a better experience.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache

I feel your pain I think ??

Yes but they are probably the best on Fab!

I think he likes you

One thinks you are right!

But I am intrigued to know what the post was as l am quite partial to a bit of veuve de clique?

The poster asked if anyone else agreed that forum members were jealous..."

Jealous of what/who?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle

I don’t have time to notice. I move from thread to thread posting shit and only check back on a few.

Like life there probably is groups of people who post in all the same threads.

You just enjoy what you post and don’t worry about anything else

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache

I feel your pain I think ??

Yes but they are probably the best on Fab!

I think he likes you

One thinks you are right!

But I am intrigued to know what the post was as l am quite partial to a bit of veuve de clique?

The poster asked if anyone else agreed that forum members were jealous...

Jealous of what/who? "

No idea, they didn't say

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache

I feel your pain I think ??

Yes but they are probably the best on Fab!

I think he likes you

One thinks you are right!

But I am intrigued to know what the post was as l am quite partial to a bit of veuve de clique?

The poster asked if anyone else agreed that forum members were jealous...

Jealous of what/who?

No idea, they didn't say "

Jealous of The plethora of sumptuous boobs belonging to fab ladies on this thread!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

The forums actually very dull, too many people moaning, complaining about the site, wishing it was like other sites (stay there then!) and lots of arse licking.

But we still login so lighten up and take it for what it is

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"bugger I missed the OP!

Was it juicy gossip or poor judgement?

It was about forum members being jealous...

I’m envious I don’t have your boobs in a shoe box under my bed.

Did I type that out loud?

Wish I could put them in a box sometimes....save some backache

I feel your pain I think ??

Yes but they are probably the best on Fab!

I think he likes you

One thinks you are right!

But I am intrigued to know what the post was as l am quite partial to a bit of veuve de clique?

The poster asked if anyone else agreed that forum members were jealous...

Jealous of what/who?

No idea, they didn't say

Jealous of The plethora of sumptuous boobs belonging to fab ladies on this thread!"

God knows

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The forums actually very dull, too many people moaning, complaining about the site, wishing it was like other sites (stay there then!) and lots of arse licking.

But we still login so lighten up and take it for what it is "

There’s an arse licking thread too?

Bloody hell I am missing out!

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By *gent CoulsonMan  over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

It can feel like it sometimes

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By *arkus1812Man  over a year ago

Finedon ,

I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals."

Very same page but guess that’s how it works

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By *agerMorganMan  over a year ago

Canvey Island

I find the forums quite friendly and spoken to quite a few decent people.

As someone said, it’s WYSIWYG.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I personally really do not care less , I will butt in as and when I please and if people don't like me I care less about that as well...

Life's too short to care

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The forums actually very dull, too many people moaning, complaining about the site, wishing it was like other sites (stay there then!) and lots of arse licking.

But we still login so lighten up and take it for what it is

There’s an arse licking thread too?

Bloody hell I am missing out!"

sis you ever meet Annie?

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

But ignored for the most part"

not true

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn't say cliquey. I think most people are friendly and warm. I do find lamp post pissing contests annoying though but I tend not to get involved with those much anymore.

Like someone said further up, the more you put in the more you get out. If you only post occasionally then you won't feel included because people won't get to know you, if you post regularly then folk will learn your username and get to know you.

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals."

What constitutes a hijacking?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?"

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread "

Such as having a chat with their partner?

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread "

Which happens often!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just not true.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Such as having a chat with their partner? "

Yep. Gets very tedious. So especially that!

I can quite happily ignore all the shit on the forum, but I do get why others want to be included and feel like they aren't.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I jumped in and made a nuisance of myself.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve always said I dont think there is a clique as such but I do think that there are opportunities for people to be more welcoming and inclusive.

A lot goes on in groups behind the scenes and that can spill out on the forums which can leave people feeling almost uncomfortable trying to join in.

I’m not a fan of people being overlooked on threads when the OP responds to their mates or those they fancy but ignore others. It’s a public forum therefore anyone can comment but comments are not always welcome or acknowledged - on the next thread it will be all talk about welcoming newbies and being kind. It’s a fickle old place at times.

Cliques are often mentioned but clearly those cliques must change because when I first joined it was a while other crowd and they were accused of being a clique

Generally, I find the forums are what you make of them. Don’t be put off by those that tend to take over. We all have equal right to comment here "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Put your phone on silent… you won’t hear it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread

Which happens often!"

Does it happen that often?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

"

That's awful and not the first time I have heard of this happening from those who claim to be inclusive. I rarely engage in those type threads because it turns into a 'blow smoke up your mate exercise'

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As already said the pub analogy isn't a true reflection because unless you know those having banter it's difficult to join in.

There are groups of people who know each other and that can be both positive and negative.

Some are welcoming while some aren't and then there are those who like to tell everyone they are inclusive but forget to follow through on that.

So back to the pub analogy, yes there are lots of optics here too.

How is it different to a pub?

Surely it’s equally difficult to break into a friendship group?

I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

I think you you have described from your own experience is what many people have felt and still do. 18 months of banging your head against a wall is a long time and not many people would persist for that long.

If it wasn’t for the friends I have made away from the forums I would of given up by now and in fact I’m still close to giving up posting even though I believe that swinging is about community and friendships and this is what the forums can provide

Please don’t give up. Your contributions are valued.

But ignored for the most part

The nature of Fab. Not inclusive at all.

And yet everyone is saying that they are. Go figure "

Only when it suits and choosy as to who they are inclusive too. I have seen people rinse newbies on one thread while claiming that everyone needs to 'be kind' on another.

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair


"I'm reasonably outgoing but I still wouldn't approach a group of strangers unless I knew at least one person in the group so yes it is equally as difficult. I'll give you an example of my own experience in the lounge.

I've been here almost 5 years but only started using the forums in mid 2019. I posted a few times in the Irish forums and it took about 3-4 weeks before anyone responded at all or even acknowledged me. I started threads to introduce myself or show my sense of humour. They were ignored initially also.

I posted on a semi regular basis here in the lounge and without the slightest exaggeration, every single comment I made was completely ignored for the best part of 18 months. It's only in the last year that people have replied or messaged in regard to my contributions. That's a long time and to be honest if my experience in the Irish forums hadn't been more positive I would have given up completely.

I took part in a facepic Friday on here once during that time and a very well verified and popular forum couple started that thread. They are still posting and starting threads to this day and asking people to be inclusive and positive.

I sent a facepic in the spirit of the thread and instead of returning one they sent a message to say I might have been hot if I wasn't Irish.

That's why I rarely believe anyone on here when they preach about how welcoming and inclusive they are.

I haven't let it stop me from posting but I've no time for lip service.

"

Please don't stop.

I'm hoping your viewpoint and experiences will serve as the vanguard to make people (myself included) think twice about what they say on here, the manner in which it is said and how inclusive that comment is.

The sycophancy isn't lost on me as I freely admit that I often look out for your posts. They make total sense. And I agree with you here.

And as I mentioned in last night's thread "Men support Men on Fab"...I am sometimes hesitant in posting my comments "...because I'm aware of the invisible cliques that exist on here. I have no proof or evidence for this; it's just my acute perception.". And I stand by that remark.

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread

Which happens often!

Does it happen that often?"

Only on about every second thread lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread

Which happens often!

Does it happen that often?

Only on about every second thread lol "

No it doesn't.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Absolutely it’s why’s we are here

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Absolutely it’s why’s we are here"

Xx

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X"

Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X

Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. "

True I’m like that

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X

Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. "

Xxx

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread

Which happens often!

Does it happen that often?

Only on about every second thread lol

No it doesn't. "

Oh yes it does.....

(Had too after all its panto season)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The idea of inclusivity for some is to share personal messages from others within their clique Telegram groups. The hypocrisy is mind blowing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The idea of inclusivity for some is to share personal messages from others within their clique Telegram groups. The hypocrisy is mind blowing "

I've heard this.

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By *uckslut and MCouple  over a year ago

Poole

I totally understand this! I'm aways ignored on threads. I was gonna post about it, but thought I'd only get comments like " who said that"?

I've been swinging myself for 12 years. Himself is a granddaddy of swinging. He won't mind me saying that, as he's an old git.

I'm Pansexual, and cross from swinging to Bdsm. I'm Sub, and Domme in my own right not a switch. I've played with every sexual orentation. Clubs, doggin, 1on1's, Gb's, vanilla ect ect. I feel I have exspirance, learnt from baggage of swinging. I love to share my knowledge and advice. But just feel I don't have a voice or get listened too. Soooo many times, I start to write a reply, then just delate it. Thinking no will care. Maybe people have opinions of me. I'm a massive over thinker. Maybe they think I'm self opiniunated and feel entiltled. I just feel I have the tshirt, been there, done that. And I want to share my knowledge. - fem.

I'll slink back in to my self now. Maybe go quite for a few days.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X

Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really. "

But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I totally understand this! I'm aways ignored on threads. I was gonna post about it, but thought I'd only get comments like " who said that"?

I've been swinging myself for 12 years. Himself is a granddaddy of swinging. He won't mind me saying that, as he's an old git.

I'm Pansexual, and cross from swinging to Bdsm. I'm Sub, and Domme in my own right not a switch. I've played with every sexual orentation. Clubs, doggin, 1on1's, Gb's, vanilla ect ect. I feel I have exspirance, learnt from baggage of swinging. I love to share my knowledge and advice. But just feel I don't have a voice or get listened too. Soooo many times, I start to write a reply, then just delate it. Thinking no will care. Maybe people have opinions of me. I'm a massive over thinker. Maybe they think I'm self opiniunated and feel entiltled. I just feel I have the tshirt, been there, done that. And I want to share my knowledge. - fem.

I'll slink back in to my self now. Maybe go quite for a few days. "

I personally would love to hear from your combined experiences. We can all learn something from everyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread

Which happens often!

Does it happen that often?

Only on about every second thread lol

No it doesn't.

Oh yes it does.....

(Had too after all its panto season) "

HE'S BEHIND YOU!

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I totally understand this! I'm aways ignored on threads. I was gonna post about it, but thought I'd only get comments like " who said that"?

I've been swinging myself for 12 years. Himself is a granddaddy of swinging. He won't mind me saying that, as he's an old git.

I'm Pansexual, and cross from swinging to Bdsm. I'm Sub, and Domme in my own right not a switch. I've played with every sexual orentation. Clubs, doggin, 1on1's, Gb's, vanilla ect ect. I feel I have exspirance, learnt from baggage of swinging. I love to share my knowledge and advice. But just feel I don't have a voice or get listened too. Soooo many times, I start to write a reply, then just delate it. Thinking no will care. Maybe people have opinions of me. I'm a massive over thinker. Maybe they think I'm self opiniunated and feel entiltled. I just feel I have the tshirt, been there, done that. And I want to share my knowledge. - fem.

I'll slink back in to my self now. Maybe go quite for a few days. "

Don't let anyone make you feel like you can't post. If you have something to say then go for it. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. I know it seems like it sometimes but occasionally you do get more than the same 5 or 6 people commenting on a post xx

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I don't think the forums are cliquey but I do think that a number of Forum Postings get hijacked by a few individuals.

What constitutes a hijacking?

It’s when a small group of people join the thread and have conversations with only themselves with in jokes and exclude other people on the thread

Which happens often!

Does it happen that often?

Only on about every second thread lol

No it doesn't.

Oh yes it does.....

(Had too after all its panto season)

HE'S BEHIND YOU! "

Ohhhhh saucy! I wondered what that was poking in me

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X

Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really.

But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ha"

. You talking about me or you? Haha

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham


"The idea of inclusivity for some is to share personal messages from others within their clique Telegram groups. The hypocrisy is mind blowing "

Do I not like that.

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By *yron69Man  over a year ago

Fareham

It’s those people in steel cock cages and handcuffs and manacles that I don’t fit in with. Very clancky..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The idea of inclusivity for some is to share personal messages from others within their clique Telegram groups. The hypocrisy is mind blowing "

Do you use Telegram?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X

Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really.

But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ha

. You talking about me or you? Haha"

In general ha ha

You know me, I'll talk to most people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I totally understand this! I'm aways ignored on threads. I was gonna post about it, but thought I'd only get comments like " who said that"?

I've been swinging myself for 12 years. Himself is a granddaddy of swinging. He won't mind me saying that, as he's an old git.

I'm Pansexual, and cross from swinging to Bdsm. I'm Sub, and Domme in my own right not a switch. I've played with every sexual orentation. Clubs, doggin, 1on1's, Gb's, vanilla ect ect. I feel I have exspirance, learnt from baggage of swinging. I love to share my knowledge and advice. But just feel I don't have a voice or get listened too. Soooo many times, I start to write a reply, then just delate it. Thinking no will care. Maybe people have opinions of me. I'm a massive over thinker. Maybe they think I'm self opiniunated and feel entiltled. I just feel I have the tshirt, been there, done that. And I want to share my knowledge. - fem.

I'll slink back in to my self now. Maybe go quite for a few days. "

Speak up. It doesn't matter if the majority don't listen - it's those friendships and connections that matter.

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X

Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really.

But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ha

. You talking about me or you? Haha

In general ha ha

You know me, I'll talk to most people "

I’m actually scared to answer this in case we get accused of having a conversation

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By *esthetic21Man  over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

What was the original post

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By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

Clique out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If it wasn't for these threads we would not be interacting with each other so have fun love hard and enjoy

X

Exactly. People take it waaaay too seriously. I obviously don’t see it or think about it. Just move on if you don’t like the thread or the people. Simple really.

But, what if you just don't do people full stop? ha

. You talking about me or you? Haha

In general ha ha

You know me, I'll talk to most people

I’m actually scared to answer this in case we get accused of having a conversation "

Come on Nora stop hogging the thread

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