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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am wanting a question asked from ladies that are on the BBW side? My other half has what you say gone cold and feel she has gone off sex due to her weight, for me she still looks amazing and love her sweet arse. In the past 3 years have spent about £400/500 on lingerie for her off a certain site. Doing this I thought it would help out our life a bit add spice things up more and and more fun, but she's not in to wearing nice lingerie and I feel it's because she's put weight on,and has a dig eat it why you buying things like that for me. Can anyone give me advice??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why are you with her if she won't shag you? You've spent a fortune on her and she won't wear it and be sexy for you.
She's happy for you to be on here so just give the lingerie to someone who will get some use out of it. |
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If she’s struggling with her own body image, telling her what you think she should wear to look sexy isn’t going to fix that.
I completely appreciate that was absolutely not your intention, and it came from a good place but when you’re feeling bad about yourself, a lot of gestures can feel like an attack.
Maybe you could try and have a conversation with her about her weight. Find out if there’s anything you can do to support her like trying out new healthy recipes or going for long walks at the weekend together. Sometimes even the act of trying new things can put a spring back in your step and might give her back some confidence.
I hope she’s ok and not too down on herself. Christmas can be a hard time if you’re struggling with body image, all the food and booze can lead up to crashing in January. Best of luck OP! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did she choose/ask for any of the lingerie you've bought, or have you bought it for her?
If the latter then it's highly likely she doesn't like or feel comfortable in what you pick! If someone has lost confidence due to weight gain it's unlikely they'll find it through lingerie chosen by her partner. How does you being on here affect her confidence too? |
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Every chance it ain't her weight making her not want sex, maybe the weight gain is a byproduct of inner turmoil.
I have 2 go-to's when I'm in a bad place emotionally.
1) starve myself
2) comfort eating
Maybe there's something bothering her, something upsetting her, something making her feel the need to seek some kind of control or comfort in something other than you. |
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She'll know, even subconsciously, that you are looking elsewhere.
Which in tern will make her 'know' that she is unattractive.
Buying the lingerie will come across as you trying to make her look better than she does.
In my opinion  |
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From someone who used to be a larger lady, I can tell you that's no amount of lingerie will change what is going on in her mind. If anything it's probably going to make her feel worse because you're highlighting she's not dressing the way you want her to.
Just talk to her. If it is all down to her weight and that is what is making her unhappy, maybe try and support her through healthy eating and exercise instead of flinging frilly knickers at her.
Finally I can't imagine it is doing her confidence and self esteem the world of good if you are on here as a single male whilst she is feeling so low  |
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"She'll know, even subconsciously, that you are looking elsewhere.
Which in tern will make her 'know' that she is unattractive.
Buying the lingerie will come across as you trying to make her look better than she does.
In my opinion "
That's what I was hinting at in my post. Wondered if it would reach the brain cells or was too cryptic.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone has a different view of what ‘overweight’ is; male or female, if you feel overweight, it affects your libido.
Best to get off Fab as a ‘single male’ and start talking frankly to each other. Find out if there’s anything you can do to help. |
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"That's what I was hinting at in my post. Wondered if it would reach the brain cells or was too cryptic.
Men don't do cryptic  "
Ah, but as soon as you said she'll subconsciously know... poof, gone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are you with her if she won't shag you? You've spent a fortune on her and she won't wear it and be sexy for you.
She's happy for you to be on here so just give the lingerie to someone who will get some use out of it. "
Lovely. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
Honestly just talk to her. Tell her how much you desire her. Let her open up to you.
Buying underwear is a nice gesture, but as a larger lady I know not everything makes me feel good. Some make me look ridiculous. Let her choose her own and then get something similar the same size. |
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"Underwear isn't going to make a female feel sexy.
Start back with the basics, conversation, a hug, a kiss, a note left on the table.
"
That right there! But do it all without the expectation of sex |
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By *not123Couple
over a year ago
sp1 |
As a big lady myself I've bought many sexy lingerie and certain ones I really won't wear I don't feel sexy just even more body conscious so they stay hidden. So many outfits p hasn't seen because I hate what I look like in them. Ask her what she might feel sexy .I'm very conscious of my fat rolls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are you with her if she won't shag you? You've spent a fortune on her and she won't wear it and be sexy for you.
She's happy for you to be on here so just give the lingerie to someone who will get some use out of it.
Lovely."
I feel quite embarrassed by my fellow male sometimes  |
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