FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is sex with a black male.....
Is sex with a black male.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Everything is outrageous on Fab.
Really shows the state of mind & hearts amongst many of us..
Be like water.
Peace. "
 "Everything is outrageous on fab" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to be well the ( in - thing ) in demand for a while even on here.
from my party n raving days was a hip and Vogue dynamic from my own very observations. All good though.
Not so for the Asian Men as many forum posts suggest. No Vogue there.
no mass media role models, Apart from the Playboy Cricketer Imran Khan days. Who dated some top end women & models.
Always posts up on the UPDATES requesting Black Men BBC! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everything is outrageous on Fab.
Really shows the state of mind & hearts amongst many of us..
Be like water.
Peace. "Everything is outrageous on fab""
Phew thought I was alone with that seeing!
There is truly more than that meets the eye!!
" It all goes back in the box"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it I'd unfortunately, I've had a few nasty experiences on public with white women I was dating, especially in Bath (just being honest) "
Yes yes young brother.
Don't go there!! Where do I start!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think what it really comes down to is if you're Jim Davidson or not."
Maybe he started something!!
Nothing new. We some don't read between the lines. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
In London where I live I don’t think it’s a big deal the way it was when I was growing up in the 80’s and 90’s.I don’t think it’s that’s big a deal in big cities like London , Birmingham or Manchester as these have large black and other ethnic communities that have lived and worked together side by side for many years.However in other parts of the UK where black and other ethnic communities are not as big it maybe viewed as a bigger deal. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red
Is that a threat? "
A statement
Who have I threatened??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it I'd unfortunately, I've had a few nasty experiences on public with white women I was dating, especially in Bath (just being honest) "
Honesty can get a Man Killed!!
Marholm was Honest bless him..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red"
Options as in secondary school?? |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red
Options as in secondary school?? "
I'm saying we are all humans xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red
Is that a threat?
A statement
Who have I threatened???"
Yasmeen your a Threaterner you you you!!
Wtf. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In London where I live I don’t think it’s a big deal the way it was when I was growing up in the 80’s and 90’s.I don’t think it’s that’s big a deal in big cities like London , Birmingham or Manchester as these have large black and other ethnic communities that have lived and worked together side by side for many years.However in other parts of the UK where black and other ethnic communities are not as big it maybe viewed as a bigger deal."
60's,70,'s,80,'s,90's,+,+,+,= |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red"
Some don't bleed!! Some will say milk is Black!! |
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"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red
Is that a threat?
A statement
Who have I threatened???"
You’ll never make me bleed my own blood |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I didn't think so but last year I received abuse and threats because I was having sex with a black man. It was a shock to know that those attitudes still exist. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red
Is that a threat?
A statement
Who have I threatened???
You’ll never make me bleed my own blood "
Nor do I want to
Good night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't think so but last year I received abuse and threats because I was having sex with a black man. It was a shock to know that those attitudes still exist. "
More so than ever.lurking silently eap on media!!
All goes back in the wooden box!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red
Options as in secondary school??
I'm saying we are all humans xx"
Naaaah David Ike says some are reptilian,even Alians monsters amongst us all. Look like us. But the eyes are dark sullen like nobody's home!!
He is right after Bible bashing for 30yrs!!
Many have foretold before him but were certified mad!! |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red
Options as in secondary school??
I'm saying we are all humans xx
Naaaah David Ike says some are reptilian,even Alians monsters amongst us all. Look like us. But the eyes are dark sullen like nobody's home!!
He is right after Bible bashing for 30yrs!!
Many have foretold before him but were certified mad!! "
Aliens
Your welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
No it's not this is like spreading hate we all have choices
Black
White
Asian
Oriental
We all bleed
Red
Is that a threat?
A statement
Who have I threatened???
You’ll never make me bleed my own blood
Nor do I want to
Good night "
Have a hott Cocoa,warm blanket. Have a wee cry.
All will be fine tomorrow Uncle/auntie FAB will accept you with very open arms of love,sympathy, compassion and forgiveness.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it I'd unfortunately, I've had a few nasty experiences on public with white women I was dating, especially in Bath (just being honest) "
Yes unfortunatly I've experienced similar when in a relationship with black or Asian men. Thankfully things seem to be slowly improving but not fast enough. |
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"still seen as an outrageous thing in the UK in 2021.
"
No.
I don't see why the skin colour of a person you have sex or a relationship with is an issue.
Sadly, there will always be a minority who have a problem with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Barring specific areas, my guess is that the answer is mostly No.
Given that blacked is one of the most watched porn, I don't see why anyone would find that outrageous  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Barring specific areas, my guess is that the answer is mostly No.
Given that blacked is one of the most watched porn, I don't see why anyone would find that outrageous "
That brand is one of the most decrepit load of nonsense known to man. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Seems to be well the ( in - thing ) in demand for a while even on here.
from my party n raving days was a hip and Vogue dynamic from my own very observations. All good though.
Not so for the Asian Men as many forum posts suggest. No Vogue there.
no mass media role models, Apart from the Playboy Cricketer Imran Khan days. Who dated some top end women & models.
Always posts up on the UPDATES requesting Black Men BBC! "
What happened before BBC? No other channels!? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Barring specific areas, my guess is that the answer is mostly No.
Given that blacked is one of the most watched porn, I don't see why anyone would find that outrageous That brand is one of the most decrepit load of nonsense known to man."
They are strictly a fairytale.
I have no need of fairytales. |
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Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose. |
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"The more things like this are discussed the wider the gap that is created rather than just normalise it "
If we discuss like Jeremy Vine then yes. Problem is without discussion (communication) it stays where it falls. Fab is perfect discussion place as it represents disparate subversive marginal groups - some of which daily test the "prejudice VS preference" debate with "BBC ONLY".
Outrage in 2021 Op? 10-90 rather than 90-10 50 years ago. Pockets continue on both sides as convenient weapon. Not sure Fab helps or hinders.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose. "
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can equally breed resentment going over the same old ground. I used the word outrageous I could have used the word strange."
Maybe I should have used that word instead?
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"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away. "
 x10 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The more things like this are discussed the wider the gap that is created rather than just normalise it
If we discuss like Jeremy Vine then yes. Problem is without discussion (communication) it stays where it falls. Fab is perfect discussion place as it represents disparate subversive marginal groups - some of which daily test the "prejudice VS preference" debate with "BBC ONLY".
Outrage in 2021 Op? 10-90 rather than 90-10 50 years ago. Pockets continue on both sides as convenient weapon. Not sure Fab helps or hinders. "
prejudice vs preference a consideration that can raise its head. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The more things like this are discussed the wider the gap that is created rather than just normalise it "
If I had used the word strange your response may have been different?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away. "
Exactly, it's easy to dismiss something you never experienced. I can tell you I literally face some type subtle or overt the minute I step out of my front door. Worse yet in public when I'm with a white woman and even worse when a white woman is out with a group of white guys and she comes over and chats me up, the type of disgusting crap I've had to put up with. (Anyways let me stop my rant) |
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I think you’d be surprised at how many people are still outraged and put out by it.
You’d probably also be surprised by the number of men who are put off my partners who have been with black men in the past.
Highlighting it doesn’t make it a bigger issue. It merely brings it to the fore and to the attention of people who maybe don’t see it on a daily basis |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t believe it is but maybe that’s just my perception, being a white woman living near Manchester not sure if it’s a true reflection"
ALL perceptions are valid to the person having them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away.
Exactly, it's easy to dismiss something you never experienced. I can tell you I literally face some type subtle or overt the minute I step out of my front door. Worse yet in public when I'm with a white woman and even worse when a white woman is out with a group of white guys and she comes over and chats me up, the type of disgusting crap I've had to put up with. (Anyways let me stop my rant) "
If that woman came over with genuine interest that's good.
If she came over not knowing the company she keeps then it might not be fun for you.
Wisdom is needed in certain situations.
Am I reading that right?
|
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By *lairekTV/TS
over a year ago
Manchester |
Perception is anecdotal, it's not based on factual data.
I've experienced racial bias in the past, because a black girl was happy to see a white guy, but her brothers were vehemently against.
But you know what? They were different times, and I like to think we have all moved on.
That's based on perception too, just as limited.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think you’d be surprised at how many people are still outraged and put out by it.
You’d probably also be surprised by the number of men who are put off my partners who have been with black men in the past.
Highlighting it doesn’t make it a bigger issue. It merely brings it to the fore and to the attention of people who maybe don’t see it on a daily basis "
Yes, the idea of anyone not ending up with another person because they are now 'contaminated goods'.
A sad state of affairs If you like someone. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I met someone years ago who said he would never have sex with a woman who had sex with black men.
I met someone else who also said that, plus bi men. It was a conversation we should have had before he was driving me home.
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I think you’d be surprised at how many people are still outraged and put out by it.
You’d probably also be surprised by the number of men who are put off my partners who have been with black men in the past.
Highlighting it doesn’t make it a bigger issue. It merely brings it to the fore and to the attention of people who maybe don’t see it on a daily basis Yes, the idea of anyone not ending up with another person because they are now 'contaminated goods'.
A sad state of affairs If you like someone."
That was quite common back when I was a teenager. Sadly, it still happens. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perception is anecdotal, it's not based on factual data.
I've experienced racial bias in the past, because a black girl was happy to see a white guy, but her brothers were vehemently against.
But you know what? They were different times, and I like to think we have all moved on.
That's based on perception too, just as limited.
"
I for one have no problem with others speaking from their experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away.
Exactly, it's easy to dismiss something you never experienced. I can tell you I literally face some type subtle or overt the minute I step out of my front door. Worse yet in public when I'm with a white woman and even worse when a white woman is out with a group of white guys and she comes over and chats me up, the type of disgusting crap I've had to put up with. (Anyways let me stop my rant) If that woman came over with genuine interest that's good.
If she came over not knowing the company she keeps then it might not be fun for you.
Wisdom is needed in certain situations.
Am I reading that right?
"
Yea sometimes the guys are cool but the last time that happened it really pissed me off. I'll probably do a post about it tomorrow as I wanted today to only post about positive things but the event was so unsettling I didn't go out for two weeks after.
There's a whole philosophy on this amd the thought process always circles around this, yes There's racism in the UK but it's not as bad as so and so other countries. |
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"She's had a look and she said it's fucked up and to many cross dressers and freaks starting to agree with her tbh "
If that’s her attitude to this community I’d rather she didn’t join us to be honest. |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I don’t see why colour is even a question, surely if an adult is attracted to another adult and they have sex that’s great, why would race or the colour of someone’s skin even need to be discussed
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think you’d be surprised at how many people are still outraged and put out by it.
You’d probably also be surprised by the number of men who are put off my partners who have been with black men in the past.
Highlighting it doesn’t make it a bigger issue. It merely brings it to the fore and to the attention of people who maybe don’t see it on a daily basis Yes, the idea of anyone not ending up with another person because they are now 'contaminated goods'.
A sad state of affairs If you like someone.
That was quite common back when I was a teenager. Sadly, it still happens. "
As a white female you would have been more aware of what others may have suffered.
I just got the occasional whiff about that happening by rumour. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don’t see why colour is even a question, surely if an adult is attracted to another adult and they have sex that’s great, why would race or the colour of someone’s skin even need to be discussed
"
It doesn't always have to be discussed. |
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By *lairekTV/TS
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Perception is anecdotal, it's not based on factual data.
I've experienced racial bias in the past, because a black girl was happy to see a white guy, but her brothers were vehemently against.
But you know what? They were different times, and I like to think we have all moved on.
That's based on perception too, just as limited.
I for one have no problem with others speaking from their experiences."
Agreed, but sometimes the reasons were complex.
I didn't blame the lads, they were trying to do the right thing for the family, and with an Indian family, that was a very big deal.
But, things change. I have seen enormous changes in attitudes amongst many Indian colleagues, not only here but in India.
I want to believe we are generally progressive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been in the UK for just over 2 years. I really want to visit Scotland badly but do you know as a black man there are places I can't go to in Scotland without the possibility of being attacked because I'm black (and this isn't just from English people, Scottish people have been honest with me about it as well)
And yes as a black person when we visit any European countries we always have to find out which cities have racism and racist violence. Imagine for a second living your life like that. Mind you I still have intentions of visiting Scotland but I have to be careful unfortunately, so again miss me with that bs about racism doesn't exist and stuff like that, it does (it might not be as prevalent as the USA) but I think we can all agree if racism really and truly was dead in England then that travesty that happened after the Euro finals wouldn't have occurred
Peace out (ranting about racism is done for the day lol) |
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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
If you want to be an ally then we have to take about these things, and if you don't want to be an ally or want to pretend the problem doesn't exist then you're part of fhe problem.
So yes, racism and bias still exists against POC, and if we are going to talk about attitudes towards sex with black men we also have to talk about homophobia in the black community.
I honestly believe at some point we will look back with embarrassment at how we lived in a time that was so technologically advanced and still so backwards on attitudes towards inclusion, race, religion, misogyny, sexuality, gender etc. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"If you want to be an ally then we have to take about these things, and if you don't want to be an ally or want to pretend the problem doesn't exist then you're part of fhe problem.
So yes, racism and bias still exists against POC, and if we are going to talk about attitudes towards sex with black men we also have to talk about homophobia in the black community.
I honestly believe at some point we will look back with embarrassment at how we lived in a time that was so technologically advanced and still so backwards on attitudes towards inclusion, race, religion, misogyny, sexuality, gender etc."
Xxx
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away.
Exactly, it's easy to dismiss something you never experienced. I can tell you I literally face some type subtle or overt the minute I step out of my front door. Worse yet in public when I'm with a white woman and even worse when a white woman is out with a group of white guys and she comes over and chats me up, the type of disgusting crap I've had to put up with. (Anyways let me stop my rant) If that woman came over with genuine interest that's good.
If she came over not knowing the company she keeps then it might not be fun for you.
Wisdom is needed in certain situations.
Am I reading that right?
Yea sometimes the guys are cool but the last time that happened it really pissed me off. I'll probably do a post about it tomorrow as I wanted today to only post about positive things but the event was so unsettling I didn't go out for two weeks after.
There's a whole philosophy on this amd the thought process always circles around this, yes There's racism in the UK but it's not as bad as so and so other countries. "
It's nice to see that sometimes the guys are cool and there are many many lovely blokes out there in this land.
SO stay positive today and I'm sure you will make your way with mental strength through any situation to be faced in the future. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"If you want to be an ally then we have to take about these things, and if you don't want to be an ally or want to pretend the problem doesn't exist then you're part of fhe problem.
So yes, racism and bias still exists against POC, and if we are going to talk about attitudes towards sex with black men we also have to talk about homophobia in the black community.
I honestly believe at some point we will look back with embarrassment at how we lived in a time that was so technologically advanced and still so backwards on attitudes towards inclusion, race, religion, misogyny, sexuality, gender etc."
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you want to be an ally then we have to take about these things, and if you don't want to be an ally or want to pretend the problem doesn't exist then you're part of fhe problem.
So yes, racism and bias still exists against POC, and if we are going to talk about attitudes towards sex with black men we also have to talk about homophobia in the black community.
I honestly believe at some point we will look back with embarrassment at how we lived in a time that was so technologically advanced and still so backwards on attitudes towards inclusion, race, religion, misogyny, sexuality, gender etc."
Talk about it all if need be.
I just think..right place..right time. |
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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"If you want to be an ally then we have to take about these things, and if you don't want to be an ally or want to pretend the problem doesn't exist then you're part of fhe problem.
So yes, racism and bias still exists against POC, and if we are going to talk about attitudes towards sex with black men we also have to talk about homophobia in the black community.
I honestly believe at some point we will look back with embarrassment at how we lived in a time that was so technologically advanced and still so backwards on attitudes towards inclusion, race, religion, misogyny, sexuality, gender etc.
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc "
I think anything that perpetuates tropes and stereotypes is a bad thing. If people sleeping together in a private dynamic want to use certain terms that's their prerogative but I can't imagine the pressure a black man with an average dick might feel with all the BBC type porn and I'm generally against fetishisation based on protected characteristics. It's something I experience on a daily basis here and often people think they're complimenting you when in reality they are just showing ignorance. |
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By *lairekTV/TS
over a year ago
Manchester |
"...
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc "
It makes me uncomfortable, I know that.
It's like when someone says "I'd like to try a post op", as though they were a science kit.
But, maybe this is being over sensitive... Not sure. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perception is anecdotal, it's not based on factual data.
I've experienced racial bias in the past, because a black girl was happy to see a white guy, but her brothers were vehemently against.
But you know what? They were different times, and I like to think we have all moved on.
That's based on perception too, just as limited.
I for one have no problem with others speaking from their experiences.
Agreed, but sometimes the reasons were complex.
I didn't blame the lads, they were trying to do the right thing for the family, and with an Indian family, that was a very big deal.
But, things change. I have seen enormous changes in attitudes amongst many Indian colleagues, not only here but in India.
I want to believe we are generally progressive. "
I can agree with the reasons sometimes being complex and there isn't always a whose right and whose wrong.
That's where the heart can sometimes take over and win the day or sometimes lose it!
I believe there have been great strides made too.
Plus there have always been non-outraged white people here! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perception is anecdotal, it's not based on factual data.
I've experienced racial bias in the past, because a black girl was happy to see a white guy, but her brothers were vehemently against.
But you know what? They were different times, and I like to think we have all moved on.
That's based on perception too, just as limited.
I for one have no problem with others speaking from their experiences.
Agreed, but sometimes the reasons were complex.
I didn't blame the lads, they were trying to do the right thing for the family, and with an Indian family, that was a very big deal.
But, things change. I have seen enormous changes in attitudes amongst many Indian colleagues, not only here but in India.
I want to believe we are generally progressive. I can agree with the reasons sometimes being complex and there isn't always a whose right and whose wrong.
That's where the heart can sometimes take over and win the day or sometimes lose it!
I believe there have been great strides made too.
Plus there have always been non-outraged white people here!"
I mean non-outraged about others generally in life off fab or on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc
It makes me uncomfortable, I know that.
It's like when someone says "I'd like to try a post op", as though they were a science kit.
But, maybe this is being over sensitive... Not sure."
It's objectifying you. You're not being over sensitive at all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you want to be an ally then we have to take about these things, and if you don't want to be an ally or want to pretend the problem doesn't exist then you're part of fhe problem.
So yes, racism and bias still exists against POC, and if we are going to talk about attitudes towards sex with black men we also have to talk about homophobia in the black community.
I honestly believe at some point we will look back with embarrassment at how we lived in a time that was so technologically advanced and still so backwards on attitudes towards inclusion, race, religion, misogyny, sexuality, gender etc.
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc
I think anything that perpetuates tropes and stereotypes is a bad thing. If people sleeping together in a private dynamic want to use certain terms that's their prerogative but I can't imagine the pressure a black man with an average dick might feel with all the BBC type porn and I'm generally against fetishisation based on protected characteristics. It's something I experience on a daily basis here and often people think they're complimenting you when in reality they are just showing ignorance."
I've literally told my mates back home in the Caribbean if you're a black man in the UK and your dick is under 8 inches, you'll be considered small (especially if you don't have much girth) the sad truth is that most of the time when other races fetish black men it's because of the fantasy of being with a guy with a big cock.
I remember a fuck buddy of mine last year told me the way her and her friends describe it (her words not mine) if you're going to have sex with a black guy you're expecting him to have a big dick, with white guys it's more of a lottery and thus they'll use other things to assess if a white guy has a big cock, his height, his built, his hands. I was like wow this is some serious insight and she told me most white women think like that when assessing dick sizes. I was the first black guy she ever had and she was a big hooked and shocked when we first had sex because she had never been with a guy over 7 inches before.
But yea sorry to digress but yes a guys with small dicks do have a hard time and most be under tremendous pressure to fulfill these bbc and QoS fantasies, porn is bad but twitter is worse tbh  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you want to be an ally then we have to take about these things, and if you don't want to be an ally or want to pretend the problem doesn't exist then you're part of fhe problem.
So yes, racism and bias still exists against POC, and if we are going to talk about attitudes towards sex with black men we also have to talk about homophobia in the black community.
I honestly believe at some point we will look back with embarrassment at how we lived in a time that was so technologically advanced and still so backwards on attitudes towards inclusion, race, religion, misogyny, sexuality, gender etc.
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc
I think anything that perpetuates tropes and stereotypes is a bad thing. If people sleeping together in a private dynamic want to use certain terms that's their prerogative but I can't imagine the pressure a black man with an average dick might feel with all the BBC type porn and I'm generally against fetishisation based on protected characteristics. It's something I experience on a daily basis here and often people think they're complimenting you when in reality they are just showing ignorance.
I've literally told my mates back home in the Caribbean if you're a black man in the UK and your dick is under 8 inches, you'll be considered small (especially if you don't have much girth) the sad truth is that most of the time when other races fetish black men it's because of the fantasy of being with a guy with a big cock.
I remember a fuck buddy of mine last year told me the way her and her friends describe it (her words not mine) if you're going to have sex with a black guy you're expecting him to have a big dick, with white guys it's more of a lottery and thus they'll use other things to assess if a white guy has a big cock, his height, his built, his hands. I was like wow this is some serious insight and she told me most white women think like that when assessing dick sizes. I was the first black guy she ever had and she was a big hooked and shocked when we first had sex because she had never been with a guy over 7 inches before.
But yea sorry to digress but yes a guys with small dicks do have a hard time and most be under tremendous pressure to fulfill these bbc and QoS fantasies, porn is bad but twitter is worse tbh "
This conversation compasses more than dick size! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away.
Exactly, it's easy to dismiss something you never experienced. I can tell you I literally face some type subtle or overt the minute I step out of my front door. Worse yet in public when I'm with a white woman and even worse when a white woman is out with a group of white guys and she comes over and chats me up, the type of disgusting crap I've had to put up with. (Anyways let me stop my rant) If that woman came over with genuine interest that's good.
If she came over not knowing the company she keeps then it might not be fun for you.
Wisdom is needed in certain situations.
Am I reading that right?
Yea sometimes the guys are cool but the last time that happened it really pissed me off. I'll probably do a post about it tomorrow as I wanted today to only post about positive things but the event was so unsettling I didn't go out for two weeks after.
There's a whole philosophy on this amd the thought process always circles around this, yes There's racism in the UK but it's not as bad as so and so other countries. It's nice to see that sometimes the guys are cool and there are many many lovely blokes out there in this land.
SO stay positive today and I'm sure you will make your way with mental strength through any situation to be faced in the future."
I literally got put out of an uber the first night I was here in the UK, because when be picked me up from my friend (she's a fellow islander like me) he was jealous that she lived in a huge house on an estate and was taunting me on the way to my air bnb and when I wouldn't give in, he put me out and threatened to call the police. Now he knew I was vulnerable because i wasn't even in the UK for a good 12 hours as yet, I had no phone to use to call anyone, I came over here as a student so it was disgusting and a rough experience to be welcomed into this country like that, it was a minor miracle being chucked out on the street on the street like a dog, in the dark, in the rain with 5 suitcases and a backpack in a foreign country and city have no idea where to go.
So trust me I have real tough skin when it comes to dealing with racism in this country (I also don't ever use uber as a result of that incident) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away.
Exactly, it's easy to dismiss something you never experienced. I can tell you I literally face some type subtle or overt the minute I step out of my front door. Worse yet in public when I'm with a white woman and even worse when a white woman is out with a group of white guys and she comes over and chats me up, the type of disgusting crap I've had to put up with. (Anyways let me stop my rant) If that woman came over with genuine interest that's good.
If she came over not knowing the company she keeps then it might not be fun for you.
Wisdom is needed in certain situations.
Am I reading that right?
Yea sometimes the guys are cool but the last time that happened it really pissed me off. I'll probably do a post about it tomorrow as I wanted today to only post about positive things but the event was so unsettling I didn't go out for two weeks after.
There's a whole philosophy on this amd the thought process always circles around this, yes There's racism in the UK but it's not as bad as so and so other countries. It's nice to see that sometimes the guys are cool and there are many many lovely blokes out there in this land.
SO stay positive today and I'm sure you will make your way with mental strength through any situation to be faced in the future.
I literally got put out of an uber the first night I was here in the UK, because when be picked me up from my friend (she's a fellow islander like me) he was jealous that she lived in a huge house on an estate and was taunting me on the way to my air bnb and when I wouldn't give in, he put me out and threatened to call the police. Now he knew I was vulnerable because i wasn't even in the UK for a good 12 hours as yet, I had no phone to use to call anyone, I came over here as a student so it was disgusting and a rough experience to be welcomed into this country like that, it was a minor miracle being chucked out on the street on the street like a dog, in the dark, in the rain with 5 suitcases and a backpack in a foreign country and city have no idea where to go.
So trust me I have real tough skin when it comes to dealing with racism in this country (I also don't ever use uber as a result of that incident) "
That would be a hard thing to suffer.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In London where I live I don’t think it’s a big deal the way it was when I was growing up in the 80’s and 90’s.I don’t think it’s that’s big a deal in big cities like London , Birmingham or Manchester as these have large black and other ethnic communities that have lived and worked together side by side for many years.However in other parts of the UK where black and other ethnic communities are not as big it maybe viewed as a bigger deal."
Could well be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away.
Exactly, it's easy to dismiss something you never experienced. I can tell you I literally face some type subtle or overt the minute I step out of my front door. Worse yet in public when I'm with a white woman and even worse when a white woman is out with a group of white guys and she comes over and chats me up, the type of disgusting crap I've had to put up with. (Anyways let me stop my rant) If that woman came over with genuine interest that's good.
If she came over not knowing the company she keeps then it might not be fun for you.
Wisdom is needed in certain situations.
Am I reading that right?
Yea sometimes the guys are cool but the last time that happened it really pissed me off. I'll probably do a post about it tomorrow as I wanted today to only post about positive things but the event was so unsettling I didn't go out for two weeks after.
There's a whole philosophy on this amd the thought process always circles around this, yes There's racism in the UK but it's not as bad as so and so other countries. It's nice to see that sometimes the guys are cool and there are many many lovely blokes out there in this land.
SO stay positive today and I'm sure you will make your way with mental strength through any situation to be faced in the future.
I literally got put out of an uber the first night I was here in the UK, because when be picked me up from my friend (she's a fellow islander like me) he was jealous that she lived in a huge house on an estate and was taunting me on the way to my air bnb and when I wouldn't give in, he put me out and threatened to call the police. Now he knew I was vulnerable because i wasn't even in the UK for a good 12 hours as yet, I had no phone to use to call anyone, I came over here as a student so it was disgusting and a rough experience to be welcomed into this country like that, it was a minor miracle being chucked out on the street on the street like a dog, in the dark, in the rain with 5 suitcases and a backpack in a foreign country and city have no idea where to go.
So trust me I have real tough skin when it comes to dealing with racism in this country (I also don't ever use uber as a result of that incident) That would be a hard thing to suffer.
"
Yup, I literally couldn't believe it, again thankful I made it to the air bnb ok and I'm still here 2 years after |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do we have to keep going down the racist route?. It's supposed to be a fun site we're people choose who they meet or don't end of. Tired of the endless is it because I'm this or that let's just enjoy the meets we choose.
Because other people are affected by racism and want to talk about it? You can ignore it but that doesn't make it go away.
Exactly, it's easy to dismiss something you never experienced. I can tell you I literally face some type subtle or overt the minute I step out of my front door. Worse yet in public when I'm with a white woman and even worse when a white woman is out with a group of white guys and she comes over and chats me up, the type of disgusting crap I've had to put up with. (Anyways let me stop my rant) If that woman came over with genuine interest that's good.
If she came over not knowing the company she keeps then it might not be fun for you.
Wisdom is needed in certain situations.
Am I reading that right?
Yea sometimes the guys are cool but the last time that happened it really pissed me off. I'll probably do a post about it tomorrow as I wanted today to only post about positive things but the event was so unsettling I didn't go out for two weeks after.
There's a whole philosophy on this amd the thought process always circles around this, yes There's racism in the UK but it's not as bad as so and so other countries. It's nice to see that sometimes the guys are cool and there are many many lovely blokes out there in this land.
SO stay positive today and I'm sure you will make your way with mental strength through any situation to be faced in the future.
I literally got put out of an uber the first night I was here in the UK, because when be picked me up from my friend (she's a fellow islander like me) he was jealous that she lived in a huge house on an estate and was taunting me on the way to my air bnb and when I wouldn't give in, he put me out and threatened to call the police. Now he knew I was vulnerable because i wasn't even in the UK for a good 12 hours as yet, I had no phone to use to call anyone, I came over here as a student so it was disgusting and a rough experience to be welcomed into this country like that, it was a minor miracle being chucked out on the street on the street like a dog, in the dark, in the rain with 5 suitcases and a backpack in a foreign country and city have no idea where to go.
So trust me I have real tough skin when it comes to dealing with racism in this country (I also don't ever use uber as a result of that incident) That would be a hard thing to suffer.
Yup, I literally couldn't believe it, again thankful I made it to the air bnb ok and I'm still here 2 years after "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument  I see no race argument taking place here."
I also do not see us as from different races but of different ethnicities and cultures.
ONE human race in my mind!!!!!!!!! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument I see no race argument taking place here. I also do not see us as from different races but of different ethnicities and cultures.
ONE human race in my mind!!!!!!!!!"
I work in Africa a lot , west and east , have dated a few women over the years Ivorian, Nigerian , never felt any racism in Lagos and it’s a harsh often violent city , date a black girl in the U.K. , particularly outside London you can often feel eyes on you and almost feel the thoughts of some people disapproving. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument "
Have you read through the whole thread? And yet still say he's trying to start an argument?  |
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"...
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc
It makes me uncomfortable, I know that.
It's like when someone says "I'd like to try a post op", as though they were a science kit.
But, maybe this is being over sensitive... Not sure.
It's objectifying you. You're not being over sensitive at all! "
Agreed. Fetishism is by nature reductionist, reductionism can lead to dehumanisation. A scary path follows if that identifies (as pointed earlier) against a protected characteristic.
Is it OK in the privacy of the bedroom? For me "trying a post-op" is as bad as "Black guys only" if the initiator, at the same time, thinks "Of course I wouldn't *marry* one..." |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument I see no race argument taking place here. I also do not see us as from different races but of different ethnicities and cultures.
ONE human race in my mind!!!!!!!!!
I work in Africa a lot , west and east , have dated a few women over the years Ivorian, Nigerian , never felt any racism in Lagos and it’s a harsh often violent city , date a black girl in the U.K. , particularly outside London you can often feel eyes on you and almost feel the thoughts of some people disapproving."
Man speaks from his experience.
That isn't to say that couldn't happen among any other people's but this man is speaking from his experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"She's had a look and she said it's fucked up and to many cross dressers and freaks starting to agree with her tbh "
And yet here you are with us "freaks"
So what does that make you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"...
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc
It makes me uncomfortable, I know that.
It's like when someone says "I'd like to try a post op", as though they were a science kit.
But, maybe this is being over sensitive... Not sure.
It's objectifying you. You're not being over sensitive at all!
Agreed. Fetishism is by nature reductionist, reductionism can lead to dehumanisation. A scary path follows if that identifies (as pointed earlier) against a protected characteristic.
Is it OK in the privacy of the bedroom? For me "trying a post-op" is as bad as "Black guys only" if the initiator, at the same time, thinks "Of course I wouldn't *marry* one..." "
Some may not be able to marry one as they may pay a heavy price for doing so.
Family otracism. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"...
Do you think fetishising it is backwards and racist too ? BBC, QoS, Asian babe etc
It makes me uncomfortable, I know that.
It's like when someone says "I'd like to try a post op", as though they were a science kit.
But, maybe this is being over sensitive... Not sure.
It's objectifying you. You're not being over sensitive at all!
Agreed. Fetishism is by nature reductionist, reductionism can lead to dehumanisation. A scary path follows if that identifies (as pointed earlier) against a protected characteristic.
Is it OK in the privacy of the bedroom? For me "trying a post-op" is as bad as "Black guys only" if the initiator, at the same time, thinks "Of course I wouldn't *marry* one..." Some may not be able to marry one as they may pay a heavy price for doing so.
Family otracism."
Ostr....etc |
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"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument I see no race argument taking place here. I also do not see us as from different races but of different ethnicities and cultures.
ONE human race in my mind!!!!!!!!!
I work in Africa a lot , west and east , have dated a few women over the years Ivorian, Nigerian , never felt any racism in Lagos and it’s a harsh often violent city , date a black girl in the U.K. , particularly outside London you can often feel eyes on you and almost feel the thoughts of some people disapproving. Man speaks from his experience.
That isn't to say that couldn't happen among any other people's but this man is speaking from his experience."
Agreed. I think black women have a particularly tough ride really because lots of black men prefer to date white women, but then have a lot to say and give black women a hard time when they date outside their race. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument I see no race argument taking place here. I also do not see us as from different races but of different ethnicities and cultures.
ONE human race in my mind!!!!!!!!!
I work in Africa a lot , west and east , have dated a few women over the years Ivorian, Nigerian , never felt any racism in Lagos and it’s a harsh often violent city , date a black girl in the U.K. , particularly outside London you can often feel eyes on you and almost feel the thoughts of some people disapproving. Man speaks from his experience.
That isn't to say that couldn't happen among any other people's but this man is speaking from his experience.
Agreed. I think black women have a particularly tough ride really because lots of black men prefer to date white women, but then have a lot to say and give black women a hard time when they date outside their race."
(A West Indian story) Not coming over as extended families many had no uncles or aunties.
So we gained surrogate ones.
Usually friends of our parents.
Their female children felt more like sisters or cousins and that romantic attachment or idea couldn't be built easily and was never actively encouraged.
Maybe short-sightedness?
So some (not all) found themselves more exposed to the idea of liking others.
It's basically, you eat from the plate where there is a dinner.
There is no disrespect intended in that statement but that is the force of nature.
This is a strange place to discuss that..but I couldn't leave you hanging! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument I see no race argument taking place here. I also do not see us as from different races but of different ethnicities and cultures.
ONE human race in my mind!!!!!!!!!
I work in Africa a lot , west and east , have dated a few women over the years Ivorian, Nigerian , never felt any racism in Lagos and it’s a harsh often violent city , date a black girl in the U.K. , particularly outside London you can often feel eyes on you and almost feel the thoughts of some people disapproving. Man speaks from his experience.
That isn't to say that couldn't happen among any other people's but this man is speaking from his experience.
Agreed. I think black women have a particularly tough ride really because lots of black men prefer to date white women, but then have a lot to say and give black women a hard time when they date outside their race."
I agree. This topic is very pertinent to my family. My (white) brother is married to a delightful Kenyan woman. It has been said to his face by a black man in the UK that he "shouldn't be with one of our women". Conversely, her brother is married to a white German woman and they live in Kenya. He is always getting complimented for "marrying a white woman". It's a funny old world. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument I see no race argument taking place here. I also do not see us as from different races but of different ethnicities and cultures.
ONE human race in my mind!!!!!!!!!
I work in Africa a lot , west and east , have dated a few women over the years Ivorian, Nigerian , never felt any racism in Lagos and it’s a harsh often violent city , date a black girl in the U.K. , particularly outside London you can often feel eyes on you and almost feel the thoughts of some people disapproving. Man speaks from his experience.
That isn't to say that couldn't happen among any other people's but this man is speaking from his experience.
Agreed. I think black women have a particularly tough ride really because lots of black men prefer to date white women, but then have a lot to say and give black women a hard time when they date outside their race.
I agree. This topic is very pertinent to my family. My (white) brother is married to a delightful Kenyan woman. It has been said to his face by a black man in the UK that he "shouldn't be with one of our women". Conversely, her brother is married to a white German woman and they live in Kenya. He is always getting complimented for "marrying a white woman". It's a funny old world."
It's a funny old world indeed! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Obviously not seems like you're just trying to start a race argument I see no race argument taking place here. I also do not see us as from different races but of different ethnicities and cultures.
ONE human race in my mind!!!!!!!!!
I work in Africa a lot , west and east , have dated a few women over the years Ivorian, Nigerian , never felt any racism in Lagos and it’s a harsh often violent city , date a black girl in the U.K. , particularly outside London you can often feel eyes on you and almost feel the thoughts of some people disapproving. Man speaks from his experience.
That isn't to say that couldn't happen among any other people's but this man is speaking from his experience.
Agreed. I think black women have a particularly tough ride really because lots of black men prefer to date white women, but then have a lot to say and give black women a hard time when they date outside their race."
The idea of ripping into someone because they date, sleep with or marry someone outside their race is particularly laughable here when judged against who are the majority people?
I think a few white guys or females may be worrying too much.
The numbers are in your favour.
Plus there is NEVER going to be groups of people coming together and there be no form of interaction.
Even love! |
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