FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why is it so hard to get a reply when you message someone
Why is it so hard to get a reply when you message someone
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By *ogueAngelMan
over a year ago
Near Bath / Bristol |
I think that women, on the whole, get inundated with messages so there's a very good chance they don't see them. If they do see them, the message has got to be interesting. And even if it is interesting and you're not the type, there's nothing that can be done.
Be creative, write unique messages, and the ones that reply strike an engaged conversation with. All I can suggest! |
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Its mad here ,you have a chat with good banter then its like ,wtf have i said ,lol,your ghosted ,the ladys must get so much mail then jump to the fittest with the most flattering banter,we cant blame them for that ,either that or were boring as shit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends how creative they are, just saying hi how are you is quite tedious "
Even the creative ones get ignored….sometimes you’re just not someone’s type and you just have to accept it!
Even doing all the things like reading a profile, putting in a code word, sending a FACE pic…doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to get a response!
Someone will reply one day OP just be patient  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do girls not reply on this site
They do "
Even the ones who’s profile bios clearly say ‘go away’  ?
OP, there’s a few things bud. Women here get an insane amount of messages, I imagine it’s a lot of ‘hello, how are you?’ And a lot of dick pictures. The same way a reply if your needle in a haystack, I imagine a well written and creative message is theirs. Try and be unique. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
OP. One of the main reasons is that Females get inundated with messages, often numbering several hundred over a few days.
Where do you think they have the time to look at, let alone reply to each one? Or do they employ a secretary??
In another simple way, look at the Site Advice Notes. It says a No Reply is to be seen as Not Interested. At that point, you move on.
Yes, it's tough, but Females have that scope to pick and choose as they see fit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends how creative they are, just saying hi how are you is quite tedious
Even the creative ones get ignored….sometimes you’re just not someone’s type and you just have to accept it!
Even doing all the things like reading a profile, putting in a code word, sending a FACE pic…doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to get a response!
Someone will reply one day OP just be patient "
The secret is to send cake works everytime |
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Best advice I can give is stop messaging. You can spend an hour crafting the perfect first message and 99% of the time it goes unopened anyways
Either get yourself to clubs/socials where the ratio isn’t 1000 to 1 or use tinder for hookups where the odds are better |
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A female friend of mine showed me her profile one day, she had 100s of messages, most people don't have the time to go through all the messages, I felt sorry for her as I introduced her to the site but she's constantly inundated with messages such as Hi, fancy a shag, meet now and your fit. It kind of puts her off looking through all the messages when 90% of them are along the lines of them 4 examples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t get any reply’s I am not the best at sending messages as I struggle with dyslexia I find it really hard putting things into words I can’t change that "
Must be tough for you if you struggle with dyslexia as it’s hard enough anyway for men to get a reply.
Have you tried mentioning in your messages that you have dyslexia? I definitely think you will be getting judged if your messages have spelling, grammar etc mistakes in them but they will be a lot more sympathetic if you tell them you’re dyslexic. Always best to face theses things head on I always think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t get any reply’s I am not the best at sending messages as I struggle with dyslexia I find it really hard putting things into words I can’t change that "
This will sound harsh - it is not meant to be - just frank. But that is going to make it harder for you. Because of the huge imbalance in numbers between M and F/Couples on this site - it does mean that those who are not good communicators are going to struggle much more than those with ‘gift of the gab’. I don’t expect much allowances would be made between strangers for the reasons for what at first appears as a poor message. Sadly people’s time is precious and human nature for most is that they’ll take the path of least resistance to get to what they want.
Maybe focus on the forums and let people see your personality there and then go back to the DMs later?
Good luck. |
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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
The ratio of men to women is overemphasised as a reason for this. Most women are here for the same reasons as anyone else; we don't get any particular joy out of joining a site to just gleefully ignore messages.
Most of the messages I recieve are either overfamilar, incredibly crass, lazy or blatant copy/pastes.
If someone has clearly read my profile and sends a respectful message I'll almost always reply out of courtesy even if I have no interest in the sender. |
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"
This will sound harsh - it is not meant to be - just frank. But that is going to make it harder for you. Because of the huge imbalance in numbers between M and F/Couples on this site - it does mean that those who are not good communicators are going to struggle much more than those with ‘gift of the gab’. I don’t expect much allowances would be made between strangers for the reasons for what at first appears as a poor message. Sadly people’s time is precious and human nature for most is that they’ll take the path of least resistance to get to what they want.
Maybe focus on the forums and let people see your personality there and then go back to the DMs later?
Good luck. "
^^^ this is good advice. Get your personality out there and connect with people in the forums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not that easy for me to get to live out in the sticks and I am not aloud to drive not paying £90 on taxis to get there and back "
Get a bicycle. If there’s one thing I know about women, it’s that they love men on bicycles. |
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"Not that easy for me to get to live out in the sticks and I am not aloud to drive not paying £90 on taxis to get there and back "
Leicester has a club doesn’t it? I could be wrong. 25 minutes from Loughborough. Don’t be shy get yourself out there. And good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not that easy for me to get to live out in the sticks and I am not aloud to drive not paying £90 on taxis to get there and back
Leicester has a club doesn’t it? I could be wrong. 25 minutes from Loughborough. Don’t be shy get yourself out there. And good luck"
From personal experience - one thing women do like in a gentleman is a can do attitude. Excuses will mean they’ll simply find someone who does not need to make them. (Mr)
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"Not that easy for me to get to live out in the sticks and I am not aloud to drive not paying £90 on taxis to get there and back
Leicester has a club doesn’t it? I could be wrong. 25 minutes from Loughborough. Don’t be shy get yourself out there. And good luck
From personal experience - one thing women do like in a gentleman is a can do attitude. Excuses will mean they’ll simply find someone who does not need to make them. (Mr)
"
I’m going to keep my eye on you two  I like how you conduct yourselves. Also added to my hotlist  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not that easy for me to get to live out in the sticks and I am not aloud to drive not paying £90 on taxis to get there and back
Leicester has a club doesn’t it? I could be wrong. 25 minutes from Loughborough. Don’t be shy get yourself out there. And good luck
From personal experience - one thing women do like in a gentleman is a can do attitude. Excuses will mean they’ll simply find someone who does not need to make them. (Mr)
"
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Not that easy for me to get to live out in the sticks and I am not aloud to drive not paying £90 on taxis to get there and back "
There's Club Amigos in Leicester City centre, open 5 days a week, often from midday or 4pm. It's a short walk from Leicester Station, where there are connecting train services to/from Loughborough. Aren't there any buses from Leicester up to Loughborough?
PS. I used to work near Loughborough, so know the area! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Going to see if I can get a friend to take me to club 29 on Wednesday as it’s my birthday "
You don’t live too far from me so I’d be happy to give to a lift to and from a club sometime. I never feel comfortable going to clubs alone so you’d be doing me a favour as well by accompanying me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was cooking the other day and got my dick stuck in the oven door when I closed it too hard. Do you want to come over and help me with my hobknob?
Feel free to use it and it has worked on many occasions!
Ps you still need to be funny after the joke above has bombed (which is sort of the point!).
PPS get theeself to a club and get a few veries.
M |
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"Why do girls not reply on this site "
Its a complete mystery,I've absolutely no idea why this happens, seriously, what the fuck is going on with the lack of replies. I spend hours go over all the comments in similar threads, take on board all the comments about how to Improve myself and yet...I cant even get a sympathy fuck, Jesus, you'd think with sending out upto 150 messages a day law of averages would throw me some sort of bone. Its baffling and frankly I'm most perturbed by the fact people have to right to not respond back when I've chosen them, to receive a well thought out message. It's a fucking disgrace....fab.com are against us single males, single male straightish lives matter... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Going to see if I can get a friend to take me to club 29 on Wednesday as it’s my birthday "
OP have you been to a club before? We’ve only ever been on Friday/Sat. I’m not sure how busy the clubs are on weekdays. You might want to consider going on a Friday night as most (of course not all) clubs have nights especially geared for single guys to attend on Fridays. Not familiar with the club you mentioned so maybe worth checking out what their attendance and setup is like.
Happy birthday in advance and hope you have a good time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am thinking of going on my birthday to see what it’s like and then I might on a Friday Jenny "
Maybe expand on your profile info dude. Not that I'm an authority on the matter at all, but maybe show a bit more about yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do girls not reply on this site
Maybe they just don't fancy you. Or you don't match what they're seeking."
At least he has pictures on his profile so that people can decide whether they fancy him or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do girls not reply on this site
Maybe they just don't fancy you. Or you don't match what they're seeking.
At least he has pictures on his profile so that people can decide whether they fancy him or not. "
That's his prerogative to allow everyone to see him by giving free reign over his photos. Others like myself choose to be more private and run their profiles however they also choose. So you can post digs all you like. . |
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