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Worst meet ups
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I sware I met one couple and they was good to talk too but wow they defo needed a bath smelt like she come out of the sewers seriously couldn't say anything just left then in the pub and went home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who dont know what a toothbrush is  drives me insane"
Oh gosh I’m with you on this. I’ve got a thing about teeth. Need them to be clean and all there lol not asking for much! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We agreed to meet a couple in the hotel . It was all very impromptu and probably we should have been a bit more patient but we were new to the game and it was our first couple meet and we rushed into it.
Long story short. The bloke couldn’t get it up .
The lady was clinically depressed and hand no fingers above her knuckles.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We agreed to meet a couple in the hotel . It was all very impromptu and probably we should have been a bit more patient but we were new to the game and it was our first couple meet and we rushed into it.
Long story short. The bloke couldn’t get it up .
The lady was clinically depressed and hand no fingers above her knuckles.
"
well i bet that was awkward |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who dont know what a toothbrush is drives me insane
Hell yes! Clean teeth and Mouthwash was always an essential of my meet prep!!  "
I might start carrying some samples from work with me and next time it happens hand them a goody bag lol be easy marketing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow really errrr I would of threw them out couldn't do it tbh I meen it's not hard to keep clean I bath daily and shower before I go to bed just keep clean |
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Had been chatting with a girl fir a couple of weeks and we arranged to meet. Long blonde hair and she kept her face covered, either looking down, hair over it, just weird. Didn't cover herself when she went to the bar and I could she her reflection so knew what she looked like and I wasn't disappointed but when she came back, carried on hiding her face throughout the date. Just all round strange |
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"Had been chatting with a girl fir a couple of weeks and we arranged to meet. Long blonde hair and she kept her face covered, either looking down, hair over it, just weird. Didn't cover herself when she went to the bar and I could she her reflection so knew what she looked like and I wasn't disappointed but when she came back, carried on hiding her face throughout the date. Just all round strange"
A face mask? |
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"Had been chatting with a girl fir a couple of weeks and we arranged to meet. Long blonde hair and she kept her face covered, either looking down, hair over it, just weird. Didn't cover herself when she went to the bar and I could she her reflection so knew what she looked like and I wasn't disappointed but when she came back, carried on hiding her face throughout the date. Just all round strange
A face mask? "
No, was long before facemasks. Just didn't want me to see her face for some reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who dont know what a toothbrush is drives me insane
Hell yes! Clean teeth and Mouthwash was always an essential of my meet prep!!
I might start carrying some samples from work with me and next time it happens hand them a goody bag lol be easy marketing "
I hear that!! Fellow dental here and I'm exactly the same XD
E |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's nothing worse than bad breath and body odour. I had met someone who literally made me retch. It was evident she probably didn't shower for at Least a week. I just bolted through the door saying, "sorry I can't do this".
I think its rude and inconsiderate. |
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"Let’s just say I had to change the sheets and not for good reason….
A little too much Prosecco and the poor girl lost control of bodily function.
Wait, are we talking numero uno or...?  "
I wanted to know this to but didn’t want to seem to nosey   |
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By *rsonMan
over a year ago
Hounslow |
I met a girl in Central London once, we’d agreed a social drink & pizza.
So anyway, she turned up and I smiled and we greeted each other. She was attractive and physically fine for me and dressed nice. But she was 15 mins late and I noticed she was really really sweaty - it was outside a tube station and summer so I can overlook that.
She opened up conversation with ‘oooh you’ve got really thin lips, I don’t really like thin lips’ but I didn’t take it to heart, we were just going for a pizza and see how things go.
Had two rounds of drinks beforehand and I paid for both. Okay, fine. Then at the Italian she ordered an egg and spinach pizza which, combined with her continued sweating sort of did for me what my lips had done for her. Hardly first date food. That made the chance of a kiss now 16/1.
Anyway, I was sort of expected to pay for the restaurant as well which was fine, whatever, and then we made our way to the station and home separately.
Worse things happen at sea I know BUT I did think I’d wasted a journey as there was no question of a second date. No spark at all. And it felt like I’d been mugged as she skipped off after a free lunch.
But if we didn’t have terrible meets how would we know what a great one was.
P.S. I haven’t got ‘thin lips’ and she’d seen photos  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a girl in Central London once, we’d agreed a social drink & pizza.
So anyway, she turned up and I smiled and we greeted each other. She was attractive and physically fine for me and dressed nice. But she was 15 mins late and I noticed she was really really sweaty - it was outside a tube station and summer so I can overlook that.
She opened up conversation with ‘oooh you’ve got really thin lips, I don’t really like thin lips’ but I didn’t take it to heart, we were just going for a pizza and see how things go.
Had two rounds of drinks beforehand and I paid for both. Okay, fine. Then at the Italian she ordered an egg and spinach pizza which, combined with her continued sweating sort of did for me what my lips had done for her. Hardly first date food. That made the chance of a kiss now 16/1.
Anyway, I was sort of expected to pay for the restaurant as well which was fine, whatever, and then we made our way to the station and home separately.
Worse things happen at sea I know BUT I did think I’d wasted a journey as there was no question of a second date. No spark at all. And it felt like I’d been mugged as she skipped off after a free lunch.
But if we didn’t have terrible meets how would we know what a great one was.
P.S. I haven’t got ‘thin lips’ and she’d seen photos "
Am i the only one who now wants to see your lips lol |
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"I met a girl in Central London once, we’d agreed a social drink & pizza.
So anyway, she turned up and I smiled and we greeted each other. She was attractive and physically fine for me and dressed nice. But she was 15 mins late and I noticed she was really really sweaty - it was outside a tube station and summer so I can overlook that.
She opened up conversation with ‘oooh you’ve got really thin lips, I don’t really like thin lips’ but I didn’t take it to heart, we were just going for a pizza and see how things go.
Had two rounds of drinks beforehand and I paid for both. Okay, fine. Then at the Italian she ordered an egg and spinach pizza which, combined with her continued sweating sort of did for me what my lips had done for her. Hardly first date food. That made the chance of a kiss now 16/1.
Anyway, I was sort of expected to pay for the restaurant as well which was fine, whatever, and then we made our way to the station and home separately.
Worse things happen at sea I know BUT I did think I’d wasted a journey as there was no question of a second date. No spark at all. And it felt like I’d been mugged as she skipped off after a free lunch.
But if we didn’t have terrible meets how would we know what a great one was.
P.S. I haven’t got ‘thin lips’ and she’d seen photos
Am i the only one who now wants to see your lips lol"
Not alone . |
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I met a girl. We arranged to go to Bar A.
She then suggested we go to Bar B.
She then revealed she worked at Bar B..
And was on shift as she was called in on her first week.
She then inducted a new member of staff on how to use the tills.
Then a fridge broke in the back which she asked if I could help fix. I could not.
She then disappeared for about 15 minutes. I handed her handbag to a member of staff behind the bar, as she had left if with me, and walked out.
She have me shit for ' not understanding'.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well..
Lovely pretty girl, but her house was a hell hole. We chatted, I declined a coffee then made my excuses and left.
I asked to use the toilet and there wasn't a door. It looked like it had been kicked off. I got a glimpse of her room (also no door) and was a mattress un-sheated in the corner. The duvet looked awfully dirty. The whole place was just disgusting. Think Trainspotting.
I felt so sorry for her. I am no snob, but cleaning is for free. |
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By *HoneyWoman
over a year ago
Hertfordshire |
Met a couple while I was with my ex on here. We then met them in person at a swingers bar and then invited them back to our hotel room.
The couple was lovely to talk to while sober. Then the husband got absolutely bladdered, wanted to drive us to the hotel… we refused this and said it was better to take a taxi which we did in the end.
They were well prepared with a good bag of food and snacks and drinks which I was impressed with. The husband unfortunately was a prick when he was d*unk and I wanted them to leave.
The wife was really upset with his behaviour (she was lovely) he came into the bathroom while I was on the loo and try to play with me while I was pissing, unfortunately there was no lock and luckily my ex came and stepped in.
In the end the husband was too d*unk so we had to let him crash in the floor.
We did end up having a great time with the wife though |
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By *rsonMan
over a year ago
Hounslow |
"I do like these thread's it's interesting hearing people's experiences."
I agree.
It’s only human to talk about experiences with others. You learn a lot more about people in random threads than you do in banal profiles with stats and figures.
Plus it’s funny, and good humour wins every time. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I do like these thread's it's interesting hearing people's experiences.
I agree.
It’s only human to talk about experiences with others. You learn a lot more about people in random threads than you do in banal profiles with stats and figures.
Plus it’s funny, and good humour wins every time."
Yeah if they are true |
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"I do like these thread's it's interesting hearing people's experiences.
I agree.
It’s only human to talk about experiences with others. You learn a lot more about people in random threads than you do in banal profiles with stats and figures.
Plus it’s funny, and good humour wins every time.
Yeah if they are true "
Eh, most of the entertaining stories we read or watch unfold on screen are fiction - doesn't make them any the less interesting |
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By *rsonMan
over a year ago
Hounslow |
"I do like these thread's it's interesting hearing people's experiences.
I agree.
It’s only human to talk about experiences with others. You learn a lot more about people in random threads than you do in banal profiles with stats and figures.
Plus it’s funny, and good humour wins every time.
Yeah if they are true
Eh, most of the entertaining stories we read or watch unfold on screen are fiction - doesn't make them any the less interesting "
And it’s a good job since no ones really been up to much for eighteen months! Haha.
P.S. re your status - Chams on Mondays or AbFab on Mondays. Neither are very close but those are my recommendations |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I do like these thread's it's interesting hearing people's experiences.
I agree.
It’s only human to talk about experiences with others. You learn a lot more about people in random threads than you do in banal profiles with stats and figures.
Plus it’s funny, and good humour wins every time.
Yeah if they are true
Eh, most of the entertaining stories we read or watch unfold on screen are fiction - doesn't make them any the less interesting "
Xxxx
 |
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"I do like these thread's it's interesting hearing people's experiences.
I agree.
It’s only human to talk about experiences with others. You learn a lot more about people in random threads than you do in banal profiles with stats and figures.
Plus it’s funny, and good humour wins every time.
Yeah if they are true
Eh, most of the entertaining stories we read or watch unfold on screen are fiction - doesn't make them any the less interesting
And it’s a good job since no ones really been up to much for eighteen months! Haha.
P.S. re your status - Chams on Mondays or AbFab on Mondays. Neither are very close but those are my recommendations "
Ahh cheers, much appreciated |
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"I do like these thread's it's interesting hearing people's experiences.
I agree.
It’s only human to talk about experiences with others. You learn a lot more about people in random threads than you do in banal profiles with stats and figures.
Plus it’s funny, and good humour wins every time."
It does indeed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've learnt from my terrible meets: I always have a social first now!
The worse meet was with a guy years ago. We were going to go to his but met in a supermarket beforehand to get some drinks. We had video chatted so no bad surprises there. However, thinking back, it was clear he had taken something before the meet.
So we're in the pretty much empty supermarket and he goes on about how busy it is and I start noticing that he's very fidgety. Can't stand still even for a minute. I took a drink that I like and he picked some whisky and asked for some cigarettes. He tells me he's waiting for some money to go into his account. I pay. No big deal. We walk to his place. Via the dodgiest street with a group of about 6 guys there. In my head I'm just thinking this is where it's ending. I see myself getting killed. Luckily nothing happens, he doesn't live far so we get to his place. He couldn't remain seated for more than 5 minutes. He told me his whole life story, which was very sad. That he's out of prison, has kids that he doesn't see etc. We start kissing and we gradually undress each other, he tries to fuck me bare but I say no. I should have left there. He puts a condom on, we have sex. And then he starts telling me that we would make cute babies, that he wants to see me more and says that my husband doesn't deserve me... I made a lame excuse and called for a taxi. |
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By *rsonMan
over a year ago
Hounslow |
"I've learnt from my terrible meets: I always have a social first now!
The worse meet was with a guy years ago. We were going to go to his but met in a supermarket beforehand to get some drinks. We had video chatted so no bad surprises there. However, thinking back, it was clear he had taken something before the meet.
So we're in the pretty much empty supermarket and he goes on about how busy it is and I start noticing that he's very fidgety. Can't stand still even for a minute. I took a drink that I like and he picked some whisky and asked for some cigarettes. He tells me he's waiting for some money to go into his account. I pay. No big deal. We walk to his place. Via the dodgiest street with a group of about 6 guys there. In my head I'm just thinking this is where it's ending. I see myself getting killed. Luckily nothing happens, he doesn't live far so we get to his place. He couldn't remain seated for more than 5 minutes. He told me his whole life story, which was very sad. That he's out of prison, has kids that he doesn't see etc. We start kissing and we gradually undress each other, he tries to fuck me bare but I say no. I should have left there. He puts a condom on, we have sex. And then he starts telling me that we would make cute babies, that he wants to see me more and says that my husband doesn't deserve me... I made a lame excuse and called for a taxi. "
Crap night for you but excellent story. I wonder if he thought it just went really well!?
(your name btw…. pretty pretty pretty good) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Crap night for you but excellent story. I wonder if he thought it just went really well!?
(your name btw…. pretty pretty pretty good)"
Aww thanks. He did contact me on a different profile to arrange another meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've learnt from my terrible meets: I always have a social first now!
The worse meet was with a guy years ago. We were going to go to his but met in a supermarket beforehand to get some drinks. We had video chatted so no bad surprises there. However, thinking back, it was clear he had taken something before the meet.
So we're in the pretty much empty supermarket and he goes on about how busy it is and I start noticing that he's very fidgety. Can't stand still even for a minute. I took a drink that I like and he picked some whisky and asked for some cigarettes. He tells me he's waiting for some money to go into his account. I pay. No big deal. We walk to his place. Via the dodgiest street with a group of about 6 guys there. In my head I'm just thinking this is where it's ending. I see myself getting killed. Luckily nothing happens, he doesn't live far so we get to his place. He couldn't remain seated for more than 5 minutes. He told me his whole life story, which was very sad. That he's out of prison, has kids that he doesn't see etc. We start kissing and we gradually undress each other, he tries to fuck me bare but I say no. I should have left there. He puts a condom on, we have sex. And then he starts telling me that we would make cute babies, that he wants to see me more and says that my husband doesn't deserve me... I made a lame excuse and called for a taxi. "
Wow! |
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By *rsonMan
over a year ago
Hounslow |
" Crap night for you but excellent story. I wonder if he thought it just went really well!?
(your name btw…. pretty pretty pretty good)
Aww thanks. He did contact me on a different profile to arrange another meet "
Wow, nice try fella, so did he get the second series? |
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Drove a fair distance to meet someone and as I arrived and parked up saw her walking towards me, didn't recognise from the pic she sent but she recognised me straight away. So straight away she has a pop at me for not recognising her and being ignorant lol.
So we walk to her flat and gets chatting and she makes me a brew. I find out about her ex and crap she's been through. Then she decides to have her tea while I sit and watch lol.
Anyway then she decides to show me around the house and upstairs and end up in her bedroom. We get down to have a play and then lie in bed chatting. She's planning our future wants to meet the family and parents and wants to have my babies with me.
Time for a quick exit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Crap night for you but excellent story. I wonder if he thought it just went really well!?
(your name btw…. pretty pretty pretty good)
Aww thanks. He did contact me on a different profile to arrange another meet
Wow, nice try fella, so did he get the second series?"
Oh God no!!! If I had listen to my gut feeling before, I wouldn't have met him at all. Lesson learnt: always trust my gut! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've learnt from my terrible meets: I always have a social first now!
The worse meet was with a guy years ago. We were going to go to his but met in a supermarket beforehand to get some drinks. We had video chatted so no bad surprises there. However, thinking back, it was clear he had taken something before the meet.
So we're in the pretty much empty supermarket and he goes on about how busy it is and I start noticing that he's very fidgety. Can't stand still even for a minute. I took a drink that I like and he picked some whisky and asked for some cigarettes. He tells me he's waiting for some money to go into his account. I pay. No big deal. We walk to his place. Via the dodgiest street with a group of about 6 guys there. In my head I'm just thinking this is where it's ending. I see myself getting killed. Luckily nothing happens, he doesn't live far so we get to his place. He couldn't remain seated for more than 5 minutes. He told me his whole life story, which was very sad. That he's out of prison, has kids that he doesn't see etc. We start kissing and we gradually undress each other, he tries to fuck me bare but I say no. I should have left there. He puts a condom on, we have sex. And then he starts telling me that we would make cute babies, that he wants to see me more and says that my husband doesn't deserve me... I made a lame excuse and called for a taxi. "
Wee shame, he sounds very lonely. If just out of prison could have been he didn’t know how to integrate back into society, people who have no confidence in themselves or have been cut off from society for a time do have issues, also if he’s no hope of seeing his kids anytime soon (I realise this was a while ago) but it was clear he wanted company - any sort of company |
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By *rsonMan
over a year ago
Hounslow |
" Crap night for you but excellent story. I wonder if he thought it just went really well!?
(your name btw…. pretty pretty pretty good)
Aww thanks. He did contact me on a different profile to arrange another meet
Wow, nice try fella, so did he get the second series?
Oh God no!!! If I had listen to my gut feeling before, I wouldn't have met him at all. Lesson learnt: always trust my gut!"
Haha
So they say. Although I occasionally deliberately do things that don’t appeal to me, to broaden my horizons.
That’s how I once ended up on my own, in a theatre watching a talk about mountaineering.
But some really good stuff too, honest. Sometimes it’s good to go down the strange alley past the junkies. |
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By *rsonMan
over a year ago
Hounslow |
"I've learnt from my terrible meets: I always have a social first now!
The worse meet was with a guy years ago. We were going to go to his but met in a supermarket beforehand to get some drinks. We had video chatted so no bad surprises there. However, thinking back, it was clear he had taken something before the meet.
So we're in the pretty much empty supermarket and he goes on about how busy it is and I start noticing that he's very fidgety. Can't stand still even for a minute. I took a drink that I like and he picked some whisky and asked for some cigarettes. He tells me he's waiting for some money to go into his account. I pay. No big deal. We walk to his place. Via the dodgiest street with a group of about 6 guys there. In my head I'm just thinking this is where it's ending. I see myself getting killed. Luckily nothing happens, he doesn't live far so we get to his place. He couldn't remain seated for more than 5 minutes. He told me his whole life story, which was very sad. That he's out of prison, has kids that he doesn't see etc. We start kissing and we gradually undress each other, he tries to fuck me bare but I say no. I should have left there. He puts a condom on, we have sex. And then he starts telling me that we would make cute babies, that he wants to see me more and says that my husband doesn't deserve me... I made a lame excuse and called for a taxi.
Wee shame, he sounds very lonely. If just out of prison could have been he didn’t know how to integrate back into society, people who have no confidence in themselves or have been cut off from society for a time do have issues, also if he’s no hope of seeing his kids anytime soon (I realise this was a while ago) but it was clear he wanted company - any sort of company "
I thought the same thing actually. But I reckon five years ago that wouldn’t have occurred to me at all - maybe you get more compassion with age or maybe it’s just recent news stories and mental health awareness.
It’s nice to just take the time do the right thing by vulnerable people and help a little even if you don’t want to get involved. Just being an ear for a bit is usually appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've learnt from my terrible meets: I always have a social first now!
The worse meet was with a guy years ago. We were going to go to his but met in a supermarket beforehand to get some drinks. We had video chatted so no bad surprises there. However, thinking back, it was clear he had taken something before the meet.
So we're in the pretty much empty supermarket and he goes on about how busy it is and I start noticing that he's very fidgety. Can't stand still even for a minute. I took a drink that I like and he picked some whisky and asked for some cigarettes. He tells me he's waiting for some money to go into his account. I pay. No big deal. We walk to his place. Via the dodgiest street with a group of about 6 guys there. In my head I'm just thinking this is where it's ending. I see myself getting killed. Luckily nothing happens, he doesn't live far so we get to his place. He couldn't remain seated for more than 5 minutes. He told me his whole life story, which was very sad. That he's out of prison, has kids that he doesn't see etc. We start kissing and we gradually undress each other, he tries to fuck me bare but I say no. I should have left there. He puts a condom on, we have sex. And then he starts telling me that we would make cute babies, that he wants to see me more and says that my husband doesn't deserve me... I made a lame excuse and called for a taxi.
Wee shame, he sounds very lonely. If just out of prison could have been he didn’t know how to integrate back into society, people who have no confidence in themselves or have been cut off from society for a time do have issues, also if he’s no hope of seeing his kids anytime soon (I realise this was a while ago) but it was clear he wanted company - any sort of company "
And I listened to him and tried to help. He lost my sympathy when he tried to force me to have bare sex with him. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
I arrived at one meet, only to find the husband had had one too many sherberts and was slumped over an armchair, but slurring his words and wanting to fight the world, so took a swing at me shortly after my arrival (he missed!). I left!
Another meet when I was driving to their home, they texted me with a shopping list of items to get en-route at the Tesco's near their home. But I was expected to pay for it all, as a condition of meeting and playing with them. I turned round and went home, giving them a few short words in protest.
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"I arrived at one meet, only to find the husband had had one too many sherberts and was slumped over an armchair, but slurring his words and wanting to fight the world, so took a swing at me shortly after my arrival (he missed!). I left!
Another meet when I was driving to their home, they texted me with a shopping list of items to get en-route at the Tesco's near their home. But I was expected to pay for it all, as a condition of meeting and playing with them. I turned round and went home, giving them a few short words in protest.
"
Wait... You mean doing someone's weekly shop isn't a prerequisite of a meet? |
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Her friend turned up mid meet, got jealous and attacked me with a bedside lamp.
Then the two of them had a blazing row until dawn.
Then my meet told me to get lost before her husband turned up. She lied about being single! |
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By *rsonMan
over a year ago
Hounslow |
"I arrived at one meet, only to find the husband had had one too many sherberts and was slumped over an armchair, but slurring his words and wanting to fight the world, so took a swing at me shortly after my arrival (he missed!). I left!
Another meet when I was driving to their home, they texted me with a shopping list of items to get en-route at the Tesco's near their home. But I was expected to pay for it all, as a condition of meeting and playing with them. I turned round and went home, giving them a few short words in protest.
"
I had a MMF threesome once with a couple who were FBs and the guy told me to bring a bottle of wine. That wasn’t too unusual except it was then just taken and there was no question of it being opened so it felt like ‘payment’.
Anyway, the other guy had brought a couple of fish, because he was a chef. Bit unusual.
Then the sex was disastrous, disgusting and put me right off for ages - amazing as I was about 22 at the time and generally full of beans lol
Funny kind of place Feltham.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got offered a cup of tea. It had almond milk in. Besides that... We was both satisfied. Can't bash any meets I have. Chemistry and comfort is always established, as a precaution before any meet. |
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"Her friend turned up mid meet, got jealous and attacked me with a bedside lamp.
Then the two of them had a blazing row until dawn.
Then my meet told me to get lost before her husband turned up. She lied about being single!"
Sounds like handbags at dawn! My god threw a lamp at you? Jesus sounds awful. |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
Went to meet a couple arrived but couldnt find adress so male came out to meet us hair unkempt scruffy shirt jogging bottoms and sliders very Leary and loud .got in house female similarly unkempt and unwashed baggy t shirt and shorts house reaked of wet dogs just ugh made our excuses and left |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a couple for a social, the photos of her where stunning.
I really did think I had hit the jackpot.
I was late which is never good I know.
She looked at me like I was shite, after calling me "handsome" he started banging on about COVID not being real whilst my sister was on life support with said virus.
I couldn't get away quick enough, it was all about their pleasure and what I could do for them.
I was late because I couldn't recognise them as they looked so different to their profile photos.
(She looked twenty years older which would have made her eightyish).
He had a serious case of little man syndrome and was highly opinionated and obviously right about everything.
After twenty minutes I made my excuses and left.
A pretty horrible pair really.
He was very controlling and she seemed to like it but resent it too.
A lucky swerve! |
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"Her friend turned up mid meet, got jealous and attacked me with a bedside lamp.
Then the two of them had a blazing row until dawn.
Then my meet told me to get lost before her husband turned up. She lied about being single! Sounds like handbags at dawn! My god threw a lamp at you? Jesus sounds awful. "
It was. Luckily her cat jumped on the bed and started sniffing my penis, which broke the tension a bit. |
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"Her friend turned up mid meet, got jealous and attacked me with a bedside lamp.
Then the two of them had a blazing row until dawn.
Then my meet told me to get lost before her husband turned up. She lied about being single! Sounds like handbags at dawn! My god threw a lamp at you? Jesus sounds awful.
It was. Luckily her cat jumped on the bed and started sniffing my penis, which broke the tension a bit. "
Omg hilarious! Nearly spat my tea out. At least you got some pussy and a lick then! hahahaha |
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