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Rejection or is it?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's a funny old word.. rejection. You know the story, you send a well constructed personal message to a stranger on the internet and they choose not to reply to a stranger on the internet.
That's not rejection, that's preference. They don't know you, it's not a personal attack on you, your just not their cup of tea. People need to stop taking things personally and learn to have fun on here.
Talk to people, connect with people, have a laugh.. if those connections turn into meets fantastic.. if not it's not that deep. Nothing is guranteed on here so take a deep breath and relax.
And for one final time, don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. Thank you and goodnight. |
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"It's a funny old word.. rejection. You know the story, you send a well constructed personal message to a stranger on the internet and they choose not to reply to a stranger on the internet.
That's not rejection, that's preference. They don't know you, it's not a personal attack on you, your just not their cup of tea. People need to stop taking things personally and learn to have fun on here.
Talk to people, connect with people, have a laugh.. if those connections turn into meets fantastic.. if not it's not that deep. Nothing is guranteed on here so take a deep breath and relax.
And for one final time, don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. Thank you and goodnight."
Today the Internet is yours. Enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a bit difficult trying to talk to ppl and build a connection when they never interact in the forums and rarely attend clubs, provided they even go to clubs to begin with  |
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"It's a funny old word.. rejection. You know the story, you send a well constructed personal message to a stranger on the internet and they choose not to reply to a stranger on the internet.
That's not rejection, that's preference. They don't know you, it's not a personal attack on you, your just not their cup of tea. People need to stop taking things personally and learn to have fun on here.
Talk to people, connect with people, have a laugh.. if those connections turn into meets fantastic.. if not it's not that deep. Nothing is guranteed on here so take a deep breath and relax.
And for one final time, don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. Thank you and goodnight."
Goodnight? It's not even evening time yet or at least I hope not as I've got loads to do before bedtime 
Wise words though OP  |
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"It's a funny old word.. rejection. You know the story, you send a well constructed personal message to a stranger on the internet and they choose not to reply to a stranger on the internet.
That's not rejection, that's preference. They don't know you, it's not a personal attack on you, your just not their cup of tea. People need to stop taking things personally and learn to have fun on here.
Talk to people, connect with people, have a laugh.. if those connections turn into meets fantastic.. if not it's not that deep. Nothing is guranteed on here so take a deep breath and relax.
And for one final time, don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. Thank you and goodnight."
Nicely said...  |
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"It's a funny old word.. rejection. You know the story, you send a well constructed personal message to a stranger on the internet and they choose not to reply to a stranger on the internet.
That's not rejection, that's preference. They don't know you, it's not a personal attack on you, your just not their cup of tea. People need to stop taking things personally and learn to have fun on here.
Talk to people, connect with people, have a laugh.. if those connections turn into meets fantastic.. if not it's not that deep. Nothing is guranteed on here so take a deep breath and relax.
And for one final time, don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. Thank you and goodnight."
Very well said OP and the important part as you said you are messaging a stranger off I said go to someone in the street and they ignored me I would shrug my shoulders and carry on walking not take it as a personal rejection |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"It's a funny old word.. rejection. You know the story, you send a well constructed personal message to a stranger on the internet and they choose not to reply to a stranger on the internet.
That's not rejection, that's preference. They don't know you, it's not a personal attack on you, your just not their cup of tea. People need to stop taking things personally and learn to have fun on here.
Talk to people, connect with people, have a laugh.. if those connections turn into meets fantastic.. if not it's not that deep. Nothing is guranteed on here so take a deep breath and relax.
And for one final time, don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. Thank you and goodnight."
girl you going bed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s been a lot of threads about rejection on here in recent days. Men being rejected, women being rejected.. a percentage of both take it badly. A majority of both (I’m guessing) take it ok and realise that’s part and parcel of the site!
It seems to me that nobody likes it (hardly surprising I guess) and it can happen to us all.
On here, given supply and demand, it tends to *mostly* be the men that get more rejections, but on other social media where the balance is more equal then, as you’d expect, the balance seems more proportionate. I’ve seen men and women get upset by it and have to vocalise that upset for everyone to hear. What does it achieve? Nothing except making you sound like a spoilt brat.
Having said that, the lack of boobies in my inbox is properly vexing me right now! Who DO you women think you are!! |
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"It's a funny old word.. rejection. You know the story, you send a well constructed personal message to a stranger on the internet and they choose not to reply to a stranger on the internet.
That's not rejection, that's preference. They don't know you, it's not a personal attack on you, your just not their cup of tea. People need to stop taking things personally and learn to have fun on here.
Talk to people, connect with people, have a laugh.. if those connections turn into meets fantastic.. if not it's not that deep. Nothing is guranteed on here so take a deep breath and relax.
And for one final time, don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. Thank you and goodnight."
The main problem I've found is that far too many people on here feel that a reply is a guarantee that you are interested.
I like to chat to get to know a little about someone before I agree to meet but this is often leads to abuse when I tell them they are not for me.
You can't make a decision based on profile alone. Until people realise a chat doesn't necessarily mean a meet will occur there will always be the sulking and "poor me" threads and status update on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The lack of empathy is not surprising at all.
If a person never gets replies it's shit. They feel ignored and invisible.
But hey crack on with your cliques and full inboxes and ego boosts. Who gives a shit about anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not the rejection, it’s the dejection these people feel for not getting that which they saw but couldn’t conquer.
I like anyone have had plenty of unread/left on read/read then marked an unread again/deleted/polite no/impolite no/blocked and any other permutation you can think of.
Am I bitter about it? No. I got on the forums, chatted on there, stopped using the search so much and became more patient, chatted with a few who are my type but far away, not my type but funny anyway and so on, generally mingled.
I found out about some socials, now I’m going to MLS and I’ll meet loads of people, both new and from my messages. I’ve even had a couple of pleasant chats with people who had previously turned me down back before I was being social and just ‘browsing’.
Just be a nice person, put some effort into being on here positively and don’t show any of those negative emotions or attributes and just get on with life |
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That's basically what I said in one of the other rejection threads.
Just as telling someone it's their loss because they don't agree to meet you. I'm at a loss to understand why it would be anyone's loss if you weren't what they were looking for in the first place.
Too many people are living in this fab community and forget to apply the same logic they do in out in the big bad world.
If they really do live their lives in a similar fashion to their fab lives I'm not surprised the world is in the state it's in. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The lack of empathy is not surprising at all.
If a person never gets replies it's shit. They feel ignored and invisible.
But hey crack on with your cliques and full inboxes and ego boosts. Who gives a shit about anyone else. "
It happens to us all though, I have been ignored by messages I've sent and been blocked after investing my time into people. It's just the way of fab unfortunately. If it's affecting someone that deeply and they have real self esteem issues, this is not the place to be. Everyone should know their worth and let what a stranger thinks of them roll off their backs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s not the rejection, it’s the dejection these people feel for not getting that which they saw but couldn’t conquer.
I like anyone have had plenty of unread/left on read/read then marked an unread again/deleted/polite no/impolite no/blocked and any other permutation you can think of.
Am I bitter about it? No. I got on the forums, chatted on there, stopped using the search so much and became more patient, chatted with a few who are my type but far away, not my type but funny anyway and so on, generally mingled.
I found out about some socials, now I’m going to MLS and I’ll meet loads of people, both new and from my messages. I’ve even had a couple of pleasant chats with people who had previously turned me down back before I was being social and just ‘browsing’.
Just be a nice person, put some effort into being on here positively and don’t show any of those negative emotions or attributes and just get on with life "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The lack of empathy is not surprising at all.
If a person never gets replies it's shit. They feel ignored and invisible.
But hey crack on with your cliques and full inboxes and ego boosts. Who gives a shit about anyone else.
It happens to us all though, I have been ignored by messages I've sent and been blocked after investing my time into people. It's just the way of fab unfortunately. If it's affecting someone that deeply and they have real self esteem issues, this is not the place to be. Everyone should know their worth and let what a stranger thinks of them roll off their backs. "
Fair point.  |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"It's a funny old word.. rejection. You know the story, you send a well constructed personal message to a stranger on the internet and they choose not to reply to a stranger on the internet.
That's not rejection, that's preference. They don't know you, it's not a personal attack on you, your just not their cup of tea. People need to stop taking things personally and learn to have fun on here.
Talk to people, connect with people, have a laugh.. if those connections turn into meets fantastic.. if not it's not that deep. Nothing is guranteed on here so take a deep breath and relax.
And for one final time, don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. Thank you and goodnight."
Preferences are the reasons why someone gets rejected but also the reasons why someone else is accepted. So to say its not rejection its just preferences appears to me to be the wrong angle.
As you said how people reject others based on their preferences and how people deal with being rejected by not meeting their preferences is the important part.
People do need to grow a thick skin and need to learn to not invest so much of themselves in trying to meet strangers just to look at their rude bits.
How do they cope when meeting people in person and being knocked back?
Are they stymied by the lack of a copy & paste function that lets them send anonymous messages to everyone they deem worthy? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"The lack of empathy is not surprising at all.
If a person never gets replies it's shit. They feel ignored and invisible.
But hey crack on with your cliques and full inboxes and ego boosts. Who gives a shit about anyone else. "
I can kind of see what you're saying Outsider. People have emotions. I think every person posting on this thread, even the OP has had moments of feeling like crap and shown that on fab/the forums - we don't know someone's general mood away from Fab, things going on etc. It's easy to say not to take things to heart, to almost compartmentalise but I do genuinely believe it must be tough - the one time I was turned down (after he suggested I went to his hotel) I was a bit stung. Constantly being turned down must be a bit meh. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The lack of empathy is not surprising at all.
If a person never gets replies it's shit. They feel ignored and invisible.
But hey crack on with your cliques and full inboxes and ego boosts. Who gives a shit about anyone else.
I can kind of see what you're saying Outsider. People have emotions. I think every person posting on this thread, even the OP has had moments of feeling like crap and shown that on fab/the forums - we don't know someone's general mood away from Fab, things going on etc. It's easy to say not to take things to heart, to almost compartmentalise but I do genuinely believe it must be tough - the one time I was turned down (after he suggested I went to his hotel) I was a bit stung. Constantly being turned down must be a bit meh."
Absolutely we are all people with feelings but when we don't know the person, it's not a personal rejection so people shouldn't take it that to heart. I don't want anyone to feel bad about theirselves because I didn't reply to their message or feel like they aren't good enough. We all are good enough, we just connect with different people for different reasons that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The lack of empathy is not surprising at all.
If a person never gets replies it's shit. They feel ignored and invisible.
But hey crack on with your cliques and full inboxes and ego boosts. Who gives a shit about anyone else.
I can kind of see what you're saying Outsider. People have emotions. I think every person posting on this thread, even the OP has had moments of feeling like crap and shown that on fab/the forums - we don't know someone's general mood away from Fab, things going on etc. It's easy to say not to take things to heart, to almost compartmentalise but I do genuinely believe it must be tough - the one time I was turned down (after he suggested I went to his hotel) I was a bit stung. Constantly being turned down must be a bit meh."
Yeah it was a general rant.
Not aimed at you OP, sorry. X
Time of year, some people feeling lonely while others are out partying.
Some people are dicks when rejected... but some are nice people who take it to heart. |
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