FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Women dealing with Rejection/ Am I too picky as a single guy.
Women dealing with Rejection/ Am I too picky as a single guy.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Recently a lady messaged me showing interest and after seeing her face pics and body pics I kindly told her, she's not my type. Apparently she was friends with another woman who msged me the previous week and who's profile said she was slim but when she sent me a pic (she claimed she could only send it on whatsapp) and I realized she wasn't my type, politely turned her down and deleted/blocked her number and wished her all the best on fabbing.
So the woman from a few days ago decides to attack me via messaged starting off with 1) why do I have to be so picky, most single guys would love to have her, she gets tons of messages from single guys 2) then she went to race saying black guys on this site think they're such hot stuff (mind you she has on her profile black guys only) I told her to simply read my bio and she would see she's not my type.
She did and said she was just frustrated because the guys she wants doesn't want her. Now I can take a very deep psychological dive on this. I did empathise with her but at the same time just read someone's bio. For instance if I was a white woman and I said my preference was blonde guys with blue eyes and a black guy messages me I would be annoyed because obviously that's not what I'm looking for.
I keep saying my goal here isn't to build numbers etc, it's to have some fun nsa with women I find attractive (either face/body type or both) I don't think I'm being too picky, I've always had high standards with women.
But yea I wonder at times if women take rejection as well as men because men are accustomed to it because they are the ones normally chasing and because women are generally pursued when they put themselves out there to actually pursue a guy and they get rejected it feels a million times worse.
Anyways, just my thoughts on this, there are a few things to unpack here. Interested in hearing the comments (please keep it respectful) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just think it's incredible someone can be so salty as to complaint o a friend who then passes that on to you - both sound like nightmares. You've got your head on straight, ignore them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just think it's incredible someone can be so salty as to complaint o a friend who then passes that on to you - both sound like nightmares. You've got your head on straight, ignore them."
Thanks and it just made me wonder like how women deal with rejection. I think it was just a bit too much tbh, it reminded me of a time I'm in in club and this lady (who I wasn't attracted to) she's dancing close to me and says "I think you're incredibly attractive" and I was like thanks you're very kind, a minute or so passes and she was like "You're supposed to say it back to me" and I said to myself " why do I have to if I don't feel that way" and I think of guys who sometimes give women compliments and the women politely accept them and as far as I'm concerned if she isn't interested in you, she's not obligated to say it back to you and likewise in my case I don't have to either.
However I just wonder if there's this expectation from women at times that guys should be lucky to get attention from them and when we as guys do get attention we're obligated to appease them.
I hope you can see the double standard I'm talking about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just from an initial perspective, she sounds like shes full of herself. Probably gets a huge ego boost with getting messages from so many guys but then struggles with rejection as a result of her ego. She lacks the maturity to understand why she isnt suitable for a lot of men, especially as she thinks almost any single guy will take her if she offered herself to them.
And then to make comments about your race further explains her lack of maturity as shes just tried to attack an feature about yourself instead of accepting your choice and moving on.
Women are just like men when it comes to rejection, not all of them can handle it and will behave in an immature and abusive manner just like a lot of men do. I think one problem these sorts of women have is their ego, rather than men who are likely more ignorant than egotistical, at least in my opinion anyway.
There is also a degree of sexism involved here too, she clearly expects men to have lower standards or self respect. Guys have a type too, guys wont sleep with anything on 2 legs if its offered up to them. Something she clearly has no understanding of |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Who would anyone deal with rejection differently because of their gender?
Its more a character trait, telegraphing volumes about that person that they cannot walk away and instead start flinging shit just because they feel you are wrong and you should be thankful they want to even consider fucking you. |
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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago
Back of Nowhere and Beyond |
I think that as with most things, there are some who take rejection well and some who don't.
It just depends entirely on their experience, their expectation and their personality really, as opposed to having anything to do with being male or female.
But people don't necessarily read profiles, and sometimes skip over bits that they don't want to see. Unfortunately that's just the way of it.
Would be nice if they didn't get abusive or moody though, but sometimes that's how people deal with it sadly.
Posh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.  |
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I think the fact that many guys will have sex with any lady with a pulse has changed expectations.
Socially I am happy to return compliments, even if its not totally true.
But if this will end up with a rejection later down the line, its better to do it early.
My landlady came onto me once but I just told her I didn't see her it that way.
I don't have women throwing themselves at me, but I'd rather be true to myself and face the consequences |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"However I just wonder if there's this expectation from women at times that guys should be lucky to get attention from them and when we as guys do get attention we're obligated to appease them.
I hope you can see the double standard I'm talking about"
You see that same attitude from some men who may or may not be of the “body like a greek god” persuasion or have a large appendage. The crowd who feel some women should lower their expectations because a Fab 10 is a real life 5, and women on Fab are delusional about their appeal due to all the simps blowing smoke up their arse.
Its just toxic behaviour from entitled cretins who clearly need a lesson in how to be a decent person. |
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OP I’ve had this same treatment many MANY times from men over the years. Not dealing with rejection. Trying to make you feel shit about yourself for rejecting them.
I’ve had couples reply with all kinds of rude comments if I politely reject them too.
Red flags are everywhere on here.
It’s far more convenient when they show up early though.
  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just from an initial perspective, she sounds like shes full of herself. Probably gets a huge ego boost with getting messages from so many guys but then struggles with rejection as a result of her ego. She lacks the maturity to understand why she isnt suitable for a lot of men, especially as she thinks almost any single guy will take her if she offered herself to them.
And then to make comments about your race further explains her lack of maturity as shes just tried to attack an feature about yourself instead of accepting your choice and moving on.
Women are just like men when it comes to rejection, not all of them can handle it and will behave in an immature and abusive manner just like a lot of men do. I think one problem these sorts of women have is their ego, rather than men who are likely more ignorant than egotistical, at least in my opinion anyway.
There is also a degree of sexism involved here too, she clearly expects men to have lower standards or self respect. Guys have a type too, guys wont sleep with anything on 2 legs if its offered up to them. Something she clearly has no understanding of"
I definitely love this comment, it does touch on a few issues. As for the ego part, I'll be the first to admit I walk a fine line between confident and cocky and at times and I have to check myself at times. But I'm so ok with a woman rejecting me, it has zero influence on my ego, how I see myself etc. So I fully understand where maturity comes into play, because ever since I was a teenager I knew everyone has their types and and you just have to respect them.
The last part about the gender is also brilliant, because guys have been so thirsty and pushy when it comes to women, women have somehow concluded that guys will sleep with any girl and that's not not case at all, guys do have standards, but yea this is how society and dating has or is evolving.
Again brilliant comment, thanks a lot |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Sadly some People are far too entitled op men, women and couples.
They think they're hot and believe everyone else should too.Id be blocking her, we all get rejected and will never be everyone's type. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort. "
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you. |
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you. "
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All I can say is bravo with your profile. It’s very refreshing to see a guy state his preferences so clearly and refuse to budge. A lot of guys are too afraid to state a preference in case it puts off women who don’t quite fit what they’re looking for but you know, they’d be good for a link.
As for this woman and the abusive messages, it’s ego work at play.
I’ve never been rejected from the initial stages and the establishing of attraction, it’s always much later on and I’ve said to guys in the past, nobody would love you as much as I would’ve. It’s kinda the same thing that this woman has done, it’s ego stuff. |
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Sounds like you had a lucky escape, OP. She, and her friend, sound like nightmares!
There are men & women on here who have a sense of entitlement, just as there are men & women who aren't overly choosey who they meet.
You do you, keep being polite & there's nothing wrong with being picky. X |
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph. "
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things? |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"People.
Should the question not be why do some PEOPLE handle rejection better than others?
"
Exactly it’s not about men or women. I’ve had first hand experience of phycho when I’ve said no or ended something, but women have told me stories just as bad. Some people are just too insecure or immature to be here |
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph.
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things? "
?
He's stated all men are different (that's his experience within his own gender and well.... life)
Yet, somehow, all women on here behave the same, think the same. I'm unsure how being a straight male would influence that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I definitely love this comment, it does touch on a few issues. As for the ego part, I'll be the first to admit I walk a fine line between confident and cocky and at times and I have to check myself at times. But I'm so ok with a woman rejecting me, it has zero influence on my ego, how I see myself etc. So I fully understand where maturity comes into play, because ever since I was a teenager I knew everyone has their types and and you just have to respect them.
The last part about the gender is also brilliant, because guys have been so thirsty and pushy when it comes to women, women have somehow concluded that guys will sleep with any girl and that's not not case at all, guys do have standards, but yea this is how society and dating has or is evolving.
Again brilliant comment, thanks a lot"
Well heres the thing, is being cocky and confident just a little such a bad thing for someones ego? Like if it wasnt for fab my self esteem and love for myself physically wouldnt be what it is today. Sure you dont want to be overly cocky as that can just lead to arrogance but then allowing yourself to feel that little high for a short while can be healthy for your self esteem. The problem a lot of women have is, as already mentioned, they get so much attention it goes straight to their head, it completely blinds them to reality.
And yes the reality they dont see is that not all men are thirsty boys, as you rightly put. I bet theres a lot of women who probably think im arrogant when i say that a woman needs to earn my love just as much as she expects me to earn hers, like they themselves dont need to make any effort on their part other than what they look like physically. Just because some woman throws herself at me doesnt mean im gonna catch her |
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph.
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things?
?
He's stated all men are different (that's his experience within his own gender and well.... life)
Yet, somehow, all women on here behave the same, think the same. I'm unsure how being a straight male would influence that."
I don’t see him saying all women are the same? Looks like he just asked a question. |
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph.
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things?
?
He's stated all men are different (that's his experience within his own gender and well.... life)
Yet, somehow, all women on here behave the same, think the same. I'm unsure how being a straight male would influence that.
I don’t see him saying all women are the same? Looks like he just asked a question. "
"women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different"
|
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph.
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things?
?
He's stated all men are different (that's his experience within his own gender and well.... life)
Yet, somehow, all women on here behave the same, think the same. I'm unsure how being a straight male would influence that.
I don’t see him saying all women are the same? Looks like he just asked a question.
"women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different"
"
Seems a little pedantic to get so angry over a few Words. Everyone knows what he means. He missed out a “some”. He seems like a lovely guy to me. I’ll leave you to stew |
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph.
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things?
?
He's stated all men are different (that's his experience within his own gender and well.... life)
Yet, somehow, all women on here behave the same, think the same. I'm unsure how being a straight male would influence that.
I don’t see him saying all women are the same? Looks like he just asked a question.
"women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different"
Seems a little pedantic to get so angry over a few Words. Everyone knows what he means. He missed out a “some”. He seems like a lovely guy to me. I’ll leave you to stew "
I ain't stewing or angry. Far from it.
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph.
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things?
?
He's stated all men are different (that's his experience within his own gender and well.... life)
Yet, somehow, all women on here behave the same, think the same. I'm unsure how being a straight male would influence that.
I don’t see him saying all women are the same? Looks like he just asked a question.
"women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different"
Seems a little pedantic to get so angry over a few Words. Everyone knows what he means. He missed out a “some”. He seems like a lovely guy to me. I’ll leave you to stew
I ain't stewing or angry. Far from it.
"
You are creating a problem and conflict where there clearly isn't one  |
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph.
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things?
?
He's stated all men are different (that's his experience within his own gender and well.... life)
Yet, somehow, all women on here behave the same, think the same. I'm unsure how being a straight male would influence that.
I don’t see him saying all women are the same? Looks like he just asked a question.
"women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different"
Seems a little pedantic to get so angry over a few Words. Everyone knows what he means. He missed out a “some”. He seems like a lovely guy to me. I’ll leave you to stew
I ain't stewing or angry. Far from it.
You are creating a problem and conflict where there clearly isn't one "
Sadly I made the mistake of even engaging with it. Just ignore and move on. Got nothing to actually add to the topic so why bother with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Recently a lady messaged me showing interest and after seeing her face pics and body pics I kindly told her, she's not my type. Apparently she was friends with another woman who msged me the previous week and who's profile said she was slim but when she sent me a pic (she claimed she could only send it on whatsapp) and I realized she wasn't my type, politely turned her down and deleted/blocked her number and wished her all the best on fabbing.
So the woman from a few days ago decides to attack me via messaged starting off with 1) why do I have to be so picky, most single guys would love to have her, she gets tons of messages from single guys 2) then she went to race saying black guys on this site think they're such hot stuff (mind you she has on her profile black guys only) I told her to simply read my bio and she would see she's not my type.
She did and said she was just frustrated because the guys she wants doesn't want her. Now I can take a very deep psychological dive on this. I did empathise with her but at the same time just read someone's bio. For instance if I was a white woman and I said my preference was blonde guys with blue eyes and a black guy messages me I would be annoyed because obviously that's not what I'm looking for.
I keep saying my goal here isn't to build numbers etc, it's to have some fun nsa with women I find attractive (either face/body type or both) I don't think I'm being too picky, I've always had high standards with women.
But yea I wonder at times if women take rejection as well as men because men are accustomed to it because they are the ones normally chasing and because women are generally pursued when they put themselves out there to actually pursue a guy and they get rejected it feels a million times worse.
Anyways, just my thoughts on this, there are a few things to unpack here. Interested in hearing the comments (please keep it respectful)"
It’s okay to have a preference, we all do and I think they should respect that even if it hurts
I had guys who politely declined cos I wasn’t their flavour kind of girl, that’s okay, plenty of other fit guys in the sea 
It does suck for 5 mins but then, in the grand scheme of life, that’s also okay x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i wish there was a lot more men like op who dont think any hole is a goal and knows not only what he wants but also whom ... i dont get people who are not selective i find them a massive turn off in fact ...
i dont mean pigion hole selective just selective in the way they know if they are attracted rather than '' i need to empty my balls/need a fuck.
those that cant handle rejection should not even think about swinging same with those who get the green jealousy mist..
such a turn on those who are selective even if it means no to me so good to see and hear on these forums
people who cant handle rejection or suffer with jealousy = block thet are on every site /forum we belong too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally i dont think women are used to being turned down on here and dont take it very well. ive had some real nasty vicious replies for various women wanted to me meet.
Most guys on here will fuck anyone, some of use need a connection of some sort.
Yea that's my point, women on this site have this notion that because of the attention they get, they think every guy behaves that way and that's not true and it also doesnt respect one's individuality. We are all different. It's why I state in my bio my type because I try to avoid situations where I have to reject women.
I personally don't know what is so hard about reading a bio to see if the person you're going message or wink would be interested in you.
So you state "we're all different" yet you're lumping all women in the same category.
Why not apply your logic towards men being different to women too? It can't be that difficult surely?
You know we as women have different insecurities, values, senses of self and integrity to name but a few. EYE ROLL.
The eye roll emoji isn't big enough so I typed it in capitals to give it some oooomph.
I would assume that since his profile states straight he doesn’t deal with men doing this
So why would he have an opinion or even experience with that side of things? "
I'm just analysing and contrasting gender roles |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm trying to follow the thread here, what is it that I said that upset someone here. Was a bit away from my phone for a few mins, thanks (trying to catch up) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Recently a lady messaged me showing interest and after seeing her face pics and body pics I kindly told her, she's not my type. Apparently she was friends with another woman who msged me the previous week and who's profile said she was slim but when she sent me a pic (she claimed she could only send it on whatsapp) and I realized she wasn't my type, politely turned her down and deleted/blocked her number and wished her all the best on fabbing.
So the woman from a few days ago decides to attack me via messaged starting off with 1) why do I have to be so picky, most single guys would love to have her, she gets tons of messages from single guys 2) then she went to race saying black guys on this site think they're such hot stuff (mind you she has on her profile black guys only) I told her to simply read my bio and she would see she's not my type.
She did and said she was just frustrated because the guys she wants doesn't want her. Now I can take a very deep psychological dive on this. I did empathise with her but at the same time just read someone's bio. For instance if I was a white woman and I said my preference was blonde guys with blue eyes and a black guy messages me I would be annoyed because obviously that's not what I'm looking for.
I keep saying my goal here isn't to build numbers etc, it's to have some fun nsa with women I find attractive (either face/body type or both) I don't think I'm being too picky, I've always had high standards with women.
But yea I wonder at times if women take rejection as well as men because men are accustomed to it because they are the ones normally chasing and because women are generally pursued when they put themselves out there to actually pursue a guy and they get rejected it feels a million times worse.
Anyways, just my thoughts on this, there are a few things to unpack here. Interested in hearing the comments (please keep it respectful)
It’s okay to have a preference, we all do and I think they should respect that even if it hurts
I had guys who politely declined cos I wasn’t their flavour kind of girl, that’s okay, plenty of other fit guys in the sea
It does suck for 5 mins but then, in the grand scheme of life, that’s also okay x
"
exactly everyone has a type or a preference, that's why i said people should just read someon's bio. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm trying to follow the thread here, what is it that I said that upset someone here. Was a bit away from my phone for a few mins, thanks (trying to catch up)"
It’s because you said women do this and women do that and women blah blah blah instead of saying *some* women can’t handle rejection, *some* women think this xyz.
Think of the laws of advertising, this diet *could* make you lose weight.
Some, should, could. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And I'll also add this part as well. Before when I was on this site, earlier this year, I would get tons of msgs from women who weren't my type (even when I adjusted my bio to say it in a very kind way).
This time around I stated plain and simple and I also added (if I'm correct) that hi if I see you and msg you I'm interested on some level (I do need face pics before making a final determination) but I don't think it's a problem being picky or selective because I see couples profiles and single women have profiles that do the same thing.
That's why I talk about the difference in terms of when a woman does something as oppose to a man, and I get it men have a horrible history of being toxic, abusive and just horrible to women and I get why women take the steps that they do. However, while I'm not trying to equate myself to what women have gone through, if I as a guy have a type and a preference I don't think I should be made to feel about it, especially when it's clearly stated in my bio what I like. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm trying to follow the thread here, what is it that I said that upset someone here. Was a bit away from my phone for a few mins, thanks (trying to catch up)
It’s because you said women do this and women do that and women blah blah blah instead of saying *some* women can’t handle rejection, *some* women think this xyz.
Think of the laws of advertising, this diet *could* make you lose weight.
Some, should, could. "
Thank you, I'd like to think the some was obvious what I meant, obviously i don't think every women does this, just as I don't think every guy does that.
Ok to clear up, the some was implied (probably left it out as a typo) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i wish there was a lot more men like op who dont think any hole is a goal and knows not only what he wants but also whom ... i dont get people who are not selective i find them a massive turn off in fact ...
i dont mean pigion hole selective just selective in the way they know if they are attracted rather than '' i need to empty my balls/need a fuck.
those that cant handle rejection should not even think about swinging same with those who get the green jealousy mist..
such a turn on those who are selective even if it means no to me so good to see and hear on these forums
people who cant handle rejection or suffer with jealousy = block thet are on every site /forum we belong too"
Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Having read your profile OP you come across as a guy who’s confident and knows what you’re looking for.
That’s good and you will use Fab the way it’s intended.
Sadly many don’t and handle rejection badly. They skim through a profile and convince themselves they are a perfect match then can’t understand why you don’t see it the same way.
When we were first on the site I tried to placate those who got upset if we didn’t want to meet them, I almost felt guilty.
These days it’s a polite “sorry, you’re not for us” and that’s it. If they don’t accept that, we block. Harsh maybe but we are not going to indulge in sympathy sex.
Can’t say I’ve noticed much difference between any gender when it comes to rejection. We’ve had vile messages from them all.
Fab should be an enjoyable escapism, especially during these uncertain times. You’re better off being honest than leading people on.
V x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All I can say is bravo with your profile. It’s very refreshing to see a guy state his preferences so clearly and refuse to budge. A lot of guys are too afraid to state a preference in case it puts off women who don’t quite fit what they’re looking for but you know, they’d be good for a link.
As for this woman and the abusive messages, it’s ego work at play.
I’ve never been rejected from the initial stages and the establishing of attraction, it’s always much later on and I’ve said to guys in the past, nobody would love you as much as I would’ve. It’s kinda the same thing that this woman has done, it’s ego stuff. "
Thanks I always say quality over quantity, I'm not here to build up numbers, yes I want nsa fun but I have to attracted to the person I want to sleep with. If other women are put off by me being selective ok, I'm sorry but I personally don't like having to reject women, because I know what rejection can feel like, hence what's stated in my bio. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"And I'll also add this part as well. Before when I was on this site, earlier this year, I would get tons of msgs from women who weren't my type (even when I adjusted my bio to say it in a very kind way).
This time around I stated plain and simple and I also added (if I'm correct) that hi if I see you and msg you I'm interested on some level (I do need face pics before making a final determination) but I don't think it's a problem being picky or selective because I see couples profiles and single women have profiles that do the same thing.
That's why I talk about the difference in terms of when a woman does something as oppose to a man, and I get it men have a horrible history of being toxic, abusive and just horrible to women and I get why women take the steps that they do. However, while I'm not trying to equate myself to what women have gone through, if I as a guy have a type and a preference I don't think I should be made to feel about it, especially when it's clearly stated in my bio what I like. "
Of course you shouldn't feel bad about it. People have all kinds of height, weight, race preferences and more.
I couldn't have sex with someone I wasn't attracted to and frequently turn men down because of that. You are being perfectly reasonable doing the same.
Incidentally, of the thousand or so men I've turned down from here only 4 sent a bitter reply. |
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"I'm trying to follow the thread here, what is it that I said that upset someone here. Was a bit away from my phone for a few mins, thanks (trying to catch up)
It’s because you said women do this and women do that and women blah blah blah instead of saying *some* women can’t handle rejection, *some* women think this xyz.
Think of the laws of advertising, this diet *could* make you lose weight.
Some, should, could.
Thank you, I'd like to think the some was obvious what I meant, obviously i don't think every women does this, just as I don't think every guy does that.
Ok to clear up, the some was implied (probably left it out as a typo) "
I wasn't and am not upset nor angry.
The way it came across was that it was your only experience of rejected women, therefore deemed that that was the rule of thumb, and the reasoning behind it was we're pretty much deluded by the thirsty men on this site into thinking we're something special when in reality we're swamp donkeys.
It takes more than interactions on a website to determine how people will act in certain scenarios, from the day they were born to the air they breathe today. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’d rather sleep with someone who’s selective!
Some of us know we won’t be many peoples type but, it doesn’t stop us finding fun!
Dodged a bullet. Next!"
Yup ditto, I prefer someone who's selective it shows me they know what they want and have the confidence to state it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Recently a lady messaged me showing interest and after seeing her face pics and body pics I kindly told her, she's not my type. Apparently she was friends with another woman who msged me the previous week and who's profile said she was slim but when she sent me a pic (she claimed she could only send it on whatsapp) and I realized she wasn't my type, politely turned her down and deleted/blocked her number and wished her all the best on fabbing.
So the woman from a few days ago decides to attack me via messaged starting off with 1) why do I have to be so picky, most single guys would love to have her, she gets tons of messages from single guys 2) then she went to race saying black guys on this site think they're such hot stuff (mind you she has on her profile black guys only) I told her to simply read my bio and she would see she's not my type.
She did and said she was just frustrated because the guys she wants doesn't want her. Now I can take a very deep psychological dive on this. I did empathise with her but at the same time just read someone's bio. For instance if I was a white woman and I said my preference was blonde guys with blue eyes and a black guy messages me I would be annoyed because obviously that's not what I'm looking for.
I keep saying my goal here isn't to build numbers etc, it's to have some fun nsa with women I find attractive (either face/body type or both) I don't think I'm being too picky, I've always had high standards with women.
But yea I wonder at times if women take rejection as well as men because men are accustomed to it because they are the ones normally chasing and because women are generally pursued when they put themselves out there to actually pursue a guy and they get rejected it feels a million times worse.
Anyways, just my thoughts on this, there are a few things to unpack here. Interested in hearing the comments (please keep it respectful)
It’s okay to have a preference, we all do and I think they should respect that even if it hurts
I had guys who politely declined cos I wasn’t their flavour kind of girl, that’s okay, plenty of other fit guys in the sea
It does suck for 5 mins but then, in the grand scheme of life, that’s also okay x
exactly everyone has a type or a preference, that's why i said people should just read someon's bio."
Totes!!
You can be as specific as you like, really!
I know that for one, I’m a PICKY bitch. Particularly when it comes to height and body type
We like what we like |
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There's nothing wrong with saying there's no attraction etc, I have done it quite a few times myself because to me any hole is not a goal.
If you aren't attracted to someone then why would you sleep with them, it would make no sense.
I've had my share of rejection and it is what it is and life goes on, I don't question the reasons I just accept it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I personally don't think there is a gender deference. I think some people handle rejection better than others. "
Also I think you can build tolerance, maybe?
And if someone has a lot of options, then it stings a lot less because they can think
“well, thank you… next”
|
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"I personally don't think there is a gender deference. I think some people handle rejection better than others.
Also I think you can build tolerance, maybe?
And if someone has a lot of options, then it stings a lot less because they can think
“well, thank you… next”
"
Definitely think you can build tolerance and resilience to these things. It's everyones own personal journey, that to me isn't defined by gender.
And I was singing thank u, next, in my on the way into work this morning |
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"I personally don't think there is a gender deference. I think some people handle rejection better than others.
Also I think you can build tolerance, maybe?
And if someone has a lot of options, then it stings a lot less because they can think
“well, thank you… next”
Definitely think you can build tolerance and resilience to these things. It's everyones own personal journey, that to me isn't defined by gender.
And I was singing thank u, next, in my on the way into work this morning "
Me, me, me next |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I personally don't think there is a gender deference. I think some people handle rejection better than others.
Also I think you can build tolerance, maybe?
And if someone has a lot of options, then it stings a lot less because they can think
“well, thank you… next”
Definitely think you can build tolerance and resilience to these things. It's everyones own personal journey, that to me isn't defined by gender.
And I was singing thank u, next, in my on the way into work this morning "
Love that song!!
Good ole Ariana
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My experience of this is that the saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”
This seems exaggerated on fabs. An environment where you rarely hear “no” can do wonders for the ego"
It must be due to a LOT of insecurities. Mind you, I do have my own, but I think I’m too proud to come across as a “psycho bitch” and give the guy the satisfaction to label me that
Be a cool girl, I say |
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Picky is good.
I don't want someone who doesn't want me and just wants a hole. I wish more people were as up-front about their preferences.
Yes, some people don't handle rejection well and go batshit crazy, both on here and in real life. At least on here it's easier to block someone abusive than it is when they turn up at your house.
Bullet successfully dodged OP! |
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"My experience of this is that the saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”
This seems exaggerated on fabs. An environment where you rarely hear “no” can do wonders for the ego
It must be due to a LOT of insecurities. Mind you, I do have my own, but I think I’m too proud to come across as a “psycho bitch” and give the guy the satisfaction to label me that
Be a cool girl, I say "
Angry rejection is an odd one isn’t it. Like you hear about the messages guys send women on here, the experience of the OP himself.
It just doesn’t make sense
It’s like when someone gets thrown out of the pub and calls the bouncer every name under the sun. That won’t get you back in mate. Just go home |
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"My experience of this is that the saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”
This seems exaggerated on fabs. An environment where you rarely hear “no” can do wonders for the ego"
Lots of people say no, am I furious heck no.
Why am I going define my self worth on someone's opinion of my looks? Can't say it doesn't hurt when I get random messages saying I'm fat or look like a pig etc. But I also know there are plenty of people who do like me also. There's an even balance and as I'm average looking that's about right is it not?
Think we all get in a tizz on here with this gender flipping wars. Sounds very much like my two kids having an argument.
Each gender will face some kind of rejection, there will be some who handle it well and others not so of each gender. |
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"I personally don't think there is a gender deference. I think some people handle rejection better than others.
Also I think you can build tolerance, maybe?
And if someone has a lot of options, then it stings a lot less because they can think
“well, thank you… next”
Definitely think you can build tolerance and resilience to these things. It's everyones own personal journey, that to me isn't defined by gender.
And I was singing thank u, next, in my on the way into work this morning
Love that song!!
Good ole Ariana
"
She can sing and write a tune, omg did you see her and Kelly Clarkson on Jimmy Fallon's show the other day?  |
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"My experience of this is that the saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”
This seems exaggerated on fabs. An environment where you rarely hear “no” can do wonders for the ego
Lots of people say no, am I furious heck no.
Why am I going define my self worth on someone's opinion of my looks? Can't say it doesn't hurt when I get random messages saying I'm fat or look like a pig etc. But I also know there are plenty of people who do like me also. There's an even balance and as I'm average looking that's about right is it not?
Think we all get in a tizz on here with this gender flipping wars. Sounds very much like my two kids having an argument.
Each gender will face some kind of rejection, there will be some who handle it well and others not so of each gender. "
Agreed, I also don’t think either side full understands the other
Women have no idea what it’s like as a guy to send out 100s of messages and get rejected 100s of times
Men have no idea what it’s like to wake up to 100-200 messages, the majority being low effort FAF dick pics or abuse |
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"My experience of this is that the saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”
This seems exaggerated on fabs. An environment where you rarely hear “no” can do wonders for the ego
Lots of people say no, am I furious heck no.
Why am I going define my self worth on someone's opinion of my looks? Can't say it doesn't hurt when I get random messages saying I'm fat or look like a pig etc. But I also know there are plenty of people who do like me also. There's an even balance and as I'm average looking that's about right is it not?
Think we all get in a tizz on here with this gender flipping wars. Sounds very much like my two kids having an argument.
Each gender will face some kind of rejection, there will be some who handle it well and others not so of each gender. "
Well said! They are the ugly ones for trying to belittle someone for their body size f*** them. You be you hun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’d have no issue stating my preferences or being selective but I’ve found with maturity a lot of things I classed as important when I was younger just aren’t important to me now.
Lots of things like willy size or height aren’t the be all and end all. I’m barely 5’3 so all guys are taller than me especially as 90% of the time I only wear trainers, dr martens or sliders A big dick isn’t going to make you a cuppa tea or tickle your back. My only criteria is a face I find handsome, a good sense of humour and I’d like them to be a deep thinker with good morals. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My experience of this is that the saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”
This seems exaggerated on fabs. An environment where you rarely hear “no” can do wonders for the ego
Lots of people say no, am I furious heck no.
Why am I going define my self worth on someone's opinion of my looks? Can't say it doesn't hurt when I get random messages saying I'm fat or look like a pig etc. But I also know there are plenty of people who do like me also. There's an even balance and as I'm average looking that's about right is it not?
Think we all get in a tizz on here with this gender flipping wars. Sounds very much like my two kids having an argument.
Each gender will face some kind of rejection, there will be some who handle it well and others not so of each gender. "
That's one thing I try to do is be kind to people, I would never insult anyone much less like that. Guys can be really disgusting at times, that's why I understand why women do what they do to protect themselves from that type of toxicity and male fragility |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’d have no issue stating my preferences or being selective but I’ve found with maturity a lot of things I classed as important when I was younger just aren’t important to me now.
Lots of things like willy size or height aren’t the be all and end all. I’m barely 5’3 so all guys are taller than me especially as 90% of the time I only wear trainers, dr martens or sliders A big dick isn’t going to make you a cuppa tea or tickle your back. My only criteria is a face I find handsome, a good sense of humour and I’d like them to be a deep thinker with good morals. "
For guys our criteria is a bit different , there aren't many who are concerned with big or small fannies lol. For me it's about the face. I had a couple msg me yesterday and they were interested etc and even after I sent them a few face pics they didn't want to send any I was like 1) you guys contacted me and 2) I don't flirt or agree to meet someone unless I see a face pic.
Face and a body I'm attracted to works for nsa (also helps if the person isn't a psycho) beliefs and morals are a slight grey area for someone I just want to have sex with, if it's about a relationship then yea I'll take that into consideration. Because for example in my home country me being an atheist is immoral, me being on a site like this is immoral, so sometimes morality can be a bit subjective so as long as a person isn't homophobic, sexist, racist, transphobic and those really toxic horrible views on humanity, I'm ok in terms of a hook up, something more then we have to delve deeper, but I do believe in opposites attracting xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think you're the only guy on fab that gets loads of women messaging you "
I assure you I'm not, their are lots of good looking blokes here who get attention also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think you're the only guy on fab that gets loads of women messaging you "
In fairness the OP has a decent profile and pics. Far better than most on here so I can see why he’d get messaged.
V |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think you're the only guy on fab that gets loads of women messaging you
In fairness the OP has a decent profile and pics. Far better than most on here so I can see why he’d get messaged.
V"
Thanks, you're very kind |
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No need for discussions and explanations.just thank others and wish them well.
Anyone here who doesn't grasp personal tastes and preferences, is beyond reason. Nobody deserves anything but respect. |
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I flounce off when rejected/don't get my own way. Then I remember I can't flounce anymore and you could say I fall flat on my face
Nah, CBA with drama. We don't generally contact single women for sexy times so haven't seen that side of things, we've only had flouncing from men and "couples" (often also men, I suspect!) We've never flounced. I mean, why would you?! What's the point?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You should reread your opening message but replace the words lady, woman, woman etc with black man and imagine if it was written by a white woman, then consider how you’d feel after reading it. Would you feel offended by it and see it as someone being racist? It would be totally understandable if you did.
Now imagine how a woman would feel after reading what you wrote, i think it’s totally understandable if she felt offended and saw it as someone being sexist.
You describe sexism as a toxic, horrible view on humanity but I think that what you’ve written is incredibly sexist. You’ve had one bad experiences of a women reacting badly to rejection and you’re questioning whether all women are bad at handling rejection, you really shouldn’t do that and you need to stop thinking like that. Every single person is completely unique and no one should be judged or categorised based on the actions of anyone other than themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Women can’t handle rejection simple as ! "
That’s a good point and you have given a very convincing argument with some well thought out points and observations. You’re almost changing my mind and making me start to think that you know every woman in the world and have witnessed that not one of them can handle rejection. |
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"I just think it's incredible someone can be so salty as to complaint o a friend who then passes that on to you - both sound like nightmares. You've got your head on straight, ignore them.
Thanks and it just made me wonder like how women deal with rejection. I think it was just a bit too much tbh, it reminded me of a time I'm in in club and this lady (who I wasn't attracted to) she's dancing close to me and says "I think you're incredibly attractive" and I was like thanks you're very kind, a minute or so passes and she was like "You're supposed to say it back to me" and I said to myself " why do I have to if I don't feel that way" and I think of guys who sometimes give women compliments and the women politely accept them and as far as I'm concerned if she isn't interested in you, she's not obligated to say it back to you and likewise in my case I don't have to either.
However I just wonder if there's this expectation from women at times that guys should be lucky to get attention from them and when we as guys do get attention we're obligated to appease them.
I hope you can see the double standard I'm talking about"
A really interesting post and point.
I suspect you are right. As a single woman in the site, we do get a lot of messages.99% are awful with zero effort and interest in taking the time to read my profile.
So when you decide to message the 1% who seems remotely compatible, they ask for a face pic and then say thanks but no....... It does initially shock. It happened a week or so ago and after about 30secs I just smiled and moved on. There's a lid for every pot (well hopefully a few). Guys are just as entitled to have a type and standards - just keep in your own lane and don't worry about how others handle their FAB experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think anyone can deal with rejection, male or female. It's not something you want to hear and makes everyone question theirselves a little. The way you react to it shows how you can handle things, take it on the chin and be respectful. Don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem. |
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I don't send messages on here so every conversation over the last 2 years has been initiated by a woman or couple.
Despite what it clearly says in my profile I've had requests in introductory messages for facepics, phone number and the old favourite "in your area, meet now!"
One said they needed the pic and number before deciding if they would put me on their "to do list". When I asked if this approach had ever worked before, they said yes every time. I have been told numerous times that it's my loss for refusing to meet or engage any further.
These requests were all from profiles with 50 -100 verifications so obviously the approach must work but there is an assumption among some that men simple have to be offered an opportunity and they will jump at it.
I've rejected requests to shave my beard off and that was taken badly too but what did they expect especially when I'd never spoken to them until they sent that message?
The is also a sneery attitude recently among some people who feel that most straight men on fab are lying to themselves and they should be honest and admit they are bi.
I've had messages telling me I will never get anywhere on here unless I at least play bi.
There are lots of women here who are not bi so why should anyone man or woman have to pretend to be something they aren't just to get a meet or to satisfy other people's demands?
There are some amazing profiles on here that are not consistent with their ugly forum posts and yet others pander to them every day.
Rejection is never an easy thing to accept but maybe look at where your starting point is and ask if you are being rejected for an attitude rather than based on your appearance.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talking from a perspective where I have female friend's and reading things on here. In my opinion, some ladies feel that because they are just that they are able to hold the strings and believe men will jump at any chance because that's what men only think about it.
However when men are offered and then decline, ladies may feel a - how can they decline I'm a lady, a lot of men would jump at the chance, not thinking that men are an individual and able to choose and have a type. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So *some* rejected women are much like *some* rejected men then? It’s almost as if some people can be twats whatever their sex / gender … who would have thunk it?! |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
Too picky.. anyone and everyone can say no thanks.. only those who wish to meet everyone won't be picky.
Too picky .. you define what you're looking for, others may think you are thats their version.
2goods law of fab.. the more niche your requirements the longer you'll search.
I might be too picky I'm prepared to wait. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ironic isn't jt? She herself was picky by specifically wanting a black guy. Has probably ly turned down loads of men or ignores/ blocks them and moans when the same thing happens to her."
True, good point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d rather sleep with someone who’s selective!
Some of us know we won’t be many peoples type but, it doesn’t stop us finding fun!
Dodged a bullet. Next!"
This |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't send messages on here so every conversation over the last 2 years has been initiated by a woman or couple.
Despite what it clearly says in my profile I've had requests in introductory messages for facepics, phone number and the old favourite "in your area, meet now!"
One said they needed the pic and number before deciding if they would put me on their "to do list". When I asked if this approach had ever worked before, they said yes every time. I have been told numerous times that it's my loss for refusing to meet or engage any further.
These requests were all from profiles with 50 -100 verifications so obviously the approach must work but there is an assumption among some that men simple have to be offered an opportunity and they will jump at it.
I've rejected requests to shave my beard off and that was taken badly too but what did they expect especially when I'd never spoken to them until they sent that message?
The is also a sneery attitude recently among some people who feel that most straight men on fab are lying to themselves and they should be honest and admit they are bi.
I've had messages telling me I will never get anywhere on here unless I at least play bi.
There are lots of women here who are not bi so why should anyone man or woman have to pretend to be something they aren't just to get a meet or to satisfy other people's demands?
There are some amazing profiles on here that are not consistent with their ugly forum posts and yet others pander to them every day.
Rejection is never an easy thing to accept but maybe look at where your starting point is and ask if you are being rejected for an attitude rather than based on your appearance.
"
I always turn down the let's meet now messages (I need at least 24-48 hours) I found initially couples to be very pushy. A lady once asked me to cut off my dreadlocs and I politely said no. There were a lot of crazy messages on my previous profile that's why I do things differently now.
I've heard about the bi thing as well. My thing is again I ain't trying to sleep with the whole site, ideally what I want is a regular playmate who doesn't love too far away, in the meantime I'm ok with the one offs etc. But I do meet people and have sex via in person when I go out (ONS) on tinder etc so I'm not desperate and I think that's what throws some women off.
I had a lady, beautiful slim body with a nice peachy ass, long blonde hair, dick sucking lips and she wanted me to come over by her that evening. However I already had a tinder date who was coming over and she kept messaging me all day, sending different nudes etc and I was like I'm a man of my word.
She was so pissed off she blocked me the following day and I was like you were the one who messaged me initially lol. Sometimes you can't with these people bruv. Be yourself, stay true to yourself and you'll be alright. Fab isn't life. It's a little escapism but some people do go overboard tbh. |
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Women have no idea what it’s like as a guy to send out 100s of messages and get rejected 100s of times "
It amuses me that such 'guys' cant see that they are obviously doing something wrong.
Most likely sending crap messages or/and having a crap profile.
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Fab is ostensibly about choice either articulated or not, and we all have a right to clearly state our preferences without fear of harassment.
Fab is also about people, and generalisations “most men will fuck anything” (I would truly love someone to define an “anything” for me, that would be an interesting conversation), “women on fab are “entitled”. Such outpourings of generalisations are usually because someone feels “wronged” by someone else’s choice.
Denying or questioning someone’s choices is coercive and controlling, you are either implicitly or explicitly trying to manipulate their behaviour to benefit you.
To the OP. Your choice is your right. No one has the right to harass someone because of what they have chosen. Do women handle rejection worse than men? I don’t think we can play the gender card here, I have seen some truly abhorrent responses from men, women and couples over the years with the conclusion that the 21st century is the century of entitlement, fed by a narrative that we are all “special” to everyone, we are not, we may be “special” to those within our closest circles but to the wider world, we are a population of non-entities. |
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"Recently a lady messaged me showing interest and after seeing her face pics and body pics I kindly told her, she's not my type. Apparently she was friends with another woman who msged me the previous week and who's profile said she was slim but when she sent me a pic (she claimed she could only send it on whatsapp) and I realized she wasn't my type, politely turned her down and deleted/blocked her number and wished her all the best on fabbing.
So the woman from a few days ago decides to attack me via messaged starting off with 1) why do I have to be so picky, most single guys would love to have her, she gets tons of messages from single guys 2) then she went to race saying black guys on this site think they're such hot stuff (mind you she has on her profile black guys only) I told her to simply read my bio and she would see she's not my type.
She did and said she was just frustrated because the guys she wants doesn't want her. Now I can take a very deep psychological dive on this. I did empathise with her but at the same time just read someone's bio. For instance if I was a white woman and I said my preference was blonde guys with blue eyes and a black guy messages me I would be annoyed because obviously that's not what I'm looking for.
I keep saying my goal here isn't to build numbers etc, it's to have some fun nsa with women I find attractive (either face/body type or both) I don't think I'm being too picky, I've always had high standards with women.
But yea I wonder at times if women take rejection as well as men because men are accustomed to it because they are the ones normally chasing and because women are generally pursued when they put themselves out there to actually pursue a guy and they get rejected it feels a million times worse.
Anyways, just my thoughts on this, there are a few things to unpack here. Interested in hearing the comments (please keep it respectful)"
Hi op
I think many women on here wouldn’t read a long(ish) profile before messaging - essentially we’re just as bad as the men we slate!
In my experience ‘many’ black guys are into curvy/larger ladies - and I’ve been overlooked by many chaps in clubs who prefer these ladies - which is totally fine (I like me - I’m fine if others don’t fancy me - no one is everybody’s type). I’m guessing, therefore, if the lady and her friend were larger then they’re accustomed to being desired by many of the chaps they fancy - and therefore unaccustomed to rejection - particularly on here.
Some people are less secure in themselves and therefore take rejection very personally - hence lashing out at the person who rejected them.
As long as you were polite then it’s their problem - not yours.
I’m a fussy cow - the guys I meet may not be attractive to everyone else - but they’re attractive to me. I also go for personality and the ability to hold a decent conversation over dinner or drinks. For this reason I don’t meet massively often - but when I do it’s generally bloody great so I’m changing nothing.
Meet who you like op - and make full use of your right wrist in between. |
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You can be as picky as you want. I would appreciate that you were clear on your profile so would know not to message you.
But women like men get butt hurt when rejected. That's their issue not yours. Bringing race into it is just a low blow and again reflects badly on them. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
You are lucky mate in all my years I have been on fab on and off I have never once been approached except by women. Wanting payment for services(gonna get you reported).
Or asking for.money for their dying cat, house, rent, ect.
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got my respect!
Polite rejection goes a long way tbf 