FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Have you been ghosted?

Have you been ghosted?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It seems so common, so I'm sure loads of people have been through this sadly. Someone I was dating ghosted me earlier this year. It still stings.

If it's happened to you, how did it make you feel and how have you got past it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

In the past on dating apps, definitely. It also happens here a fair amount after a "woman" opens a conversation and immediately asks if we have Kik/ Snap, funnily enough we never hear from them again once we say we'd rather keep things on site for a while

LvM

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *etcplCouple over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Yes, several times over the years.

Getting over it just takes time. I’ve not found any other way to deal with it as despite the oft mooted forget about it and move on, you do think about it and how it happened, what signs were there, could you have done anything differently and how to protect yourself in the future. The lack of any form of closure keeps it there, until the day comes you stop thinking about it.

It made me feel sad, angry, distrustful of others, questioning everything they said or did, blaming myself for not listening to the signs etc.

Its a horrible feeling when someone ghosts you, as you're left feeling unimportant, not worthy of any explanation or closure, even if days or hours before you are planning things out. You blame yourself to begin with, what did I say or do? and not focus on the truth that they were in the wrong, they exhibited dickish behaviour and thankfully you ended up finding out their true nature.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home. "

Maybe she went off to Narnia

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home. "

I don't want to accept it as standard. It shouldn't be acceptable behaviour. It's just cowardly.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *pYaMan over a year ago

Ready…

Yep, was talking to someone here, everything was going well, and now nothing….

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home.

I don't want to accept it as standard. It shouldn't be acceptable behaviour. It's just cowardly. "

It doesn’t really bother me. Rejection is rejection however you parcel it. Makes no difference to me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *haggydogMan over a year ago

Brooklands/London

I think it's standard for online activities.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In the past on dating apps, definitely. It also happens here a fair amount after a "woman" opens a conversation and immediately asks if we have Kik/ Snap, funnily enough we never hear from them again once we say we'd rather keep things on site for a while

LvM "

If I've just chatted, that's easy to let go of. But when you've met someone in person? That's just nasty, I think.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes, several times over the years.

It made me feel sad, angry, distrustful of others, questioning everything they said or did, blaming myself for not listening to the signs etc.

Yes. All of this. If it's a casual interaction it doesn't prey on my mind. But if I've talked daily to someone and shared feelings, been open with them, met them in person and they've still decided to walk away without a word?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes, several times over the years.

It made me feel sad, angry, distrustful of others, questioning everything they said or did, blaming myself for not listening to the signs etc.

Don't share so much unless you're meeting them regularly in person

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/21 09:14:16]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It did happen once for a time but i can see why now and it was an act of mercy in her eyes i think so i forgive her for it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *2000ManMan over a year ago

Worthing

I usually give people a week as they might be away. After that, I usually move on easily.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, it happens a lot.

Although it definitely hurts more when it’s someone who you’re in a relationship with for over a year and one day they just disappear than opposed to someone you’ve chatted to a few times online.

Experienced both unfortunately.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Yes, happened after a social meet off here. All seemed to have gone well but....... disappeared!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've all been ghosted haven't we?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a rampant state of Millenial mentality I'm afraid. Totally unacceptable, but the youth of today are unable to be honest with themselves...along with having the attention spans of a goldfish!! Why do you think all these funny clips on InstaFace are about 10seconds long?!?! Get off your devices FFS and get out in the real world!! Mic drop...rant over!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tarflyLouWoman over a year ago

Preston

"Yes, it happens a lot.

Experienced both unfortunately."

Ouch

I’ve had it, I’m at a place personally where I can deal with it from short-term things. Think I’d struggle with anything long term though

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's a rampant state of Millenial mentality I'm afraid. Totally unacceptable, but the youth of today are unable to be honest with themselves...along with having the attention spans of a goldfish!! Why do you think all these funny clips on InstaFace are about 10seconds long?!?! Get off your devices FFS and get out in the real world!! Mic drop...rant over!!! "

Proper grown ups do it too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes, it happens a lot.

Experienced both unfortunately.

Ouch

I’ve had it, I’m at a place personally where I can deal with it from short-term things. Think I’d struggle with anything long term though "

Yes. I agree, short-term is contentedly manageable, but yes the long-term one messed me up for years. But hey, we move on x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes, it happens a lot.

Experienced both unfortunately.

Ouch

I’ve had it, I’m at a place personally where I can deal with it from short-term things. Think I’d struggle with anything long term though

Yes. I agree, short-term is contentedly manageable, but yes the long-term one messed me up for years. But hey, we move on x"

Completely manageable**

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I have to say in all my life. No I haven't.

I've lost touch with people but never been ignored.

But im from the 'only see friends every now and then and then you have to walk around and knock on their door or walk to a phone box to call them or even WRITE a fucking letter with a real live pen and an actual paper slice of a tree generation'

It must be hard to shake off people who can keep in touch 24/7. I mean ..... where the FUCK do you hide ? How do you hide when your 'friends' ( probably someone you've known for a week ) can see EXACTLY what you are doing and if they can't they know they've been blocked ?

Nowadays people say .... Wahhhhh ive been ghosted.

Thoseadays we'd say..... Meh.....not seen her for a while.... I might call round and you either did or you didn't. After a while you'd say .... fuck em not seen em .....and im not chasing them.

No wonder society is paranoid!

Seems no one can function alone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes, several times over the years.

It made me feel sad, angry, distrustful of others, questioning everything they said or did, blaming myself for not listening to the signs etc.

Don't share so much unless you're meeting them regularly in person "

I was meeting them regularly in person. They still ghosted me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

I've never been ghosted but have been guilty recently of ghosting someone. It was a conscious decision to escape the never ending stream of toxic drama. Every message involved what others were doing on fab and how dangerous they were and any advice I gave was dismissed or ignored. Rather than continue to feed the delusion and need for validation I just stopped messaging and immediately joined the long list of nasty people who shunned her. Life has been so much simpler since.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes, it happens a lot.

Experienced both unfortunately."

The latter sounds horrible. That's no way to treat another human being.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm not being ghosted by millennials? What are you talking about?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *pottydog46Man over a year ago

rainham

If I've just chatted, that's easy to let go of. But when you've met someone in person? That's just nasty, I think. "

Exactly this. Recently met someone, had an amazing night (well I thought so) arranged another meeting then nothing, despite 2 or 3 attempts to ask if everything was ok etc.

It does hurt, and leaves you wondering why, and what you fid wrong, but you have to move on.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I've never been ghosted but have been guilty recently of ghosting someone. It was a conscious decision to escape the never ending stream of toxic drama. Every message involved what others were doing on fab and how dangerous they were and any advice I gave was dismissed or ignored. Rather than continue to feed the delusion and need for validation I just stopped messaging and immediately joined the long list of nasty people who shunned her. Life has been so much simpler since. "

I was going to make a similar point. Life may be dressed up in modern terminology like 'ghosted' but the picture we are given is always of the ghoster being a cowardly being. They are not always cowardly. There are many reasons why someone might 'ghost' or stop communication in every day parlance.

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not being ghosted by millennials? What are you talking about?"

Oh FFS! I'm talking about the current mentality that's proliferated its way into main stream society. All dating sites are so disconnected, people think they can do outlandish shit that they'd never dream of doing in person without any consequences!

We all need to give our heads a good fucking wobble and treat each other much better

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm not being ghosted by millennials? What are you talking about?

We all need to give our heads a good fucking wobble and treat each other much better"

Thanks so much for your thoughtful contribution

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Hate to break it to you, but you're in the millennial age category at 40. The date range is (allegedly) 1981 to 1996 as DOB.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yup. Dee was meant to have coffee with a guy on her lunch break. No word from him when time came. Nothing on Kik from him. Had been on fab when time came. Got a mail from him the next morning saying he couldn't get away from his meeting. Wouldn't have minded if he said it before or during the time he was meant to meet. She was royally pissed as she wasted her lunch time waiting for him.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hate to break it to you, but you're in the millennial age category at 40. The date range is (allegedly) 1981 to 1996 as DOB."

Good effort...rather than trying to guy read my message...you focus in on that!! Be part of the solution poppet, not the problem

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!"

No,self respect is earned by not pandering to other people's needs and when you are honest with them and that just feeds their insecurities, walking away is always the best option.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have to say in all my life. No I haven't.

I've lost touch with people but never been ignored.

Nowadays people say .... Wahhhhh ive been ghosted.

Thoseadays we'd say..... Meh.....not seen her for a while.... I might call round and you either did or you didn't. After a while you'd say .... fuck em not seen em .....and im not chasing them.

No wonder society is paranoid!

Seems no one can function alone "

That's a different take on it, Granny. I see your point about not being able to be online without people seeing. That can get overwhelming but we can all put boundaries in place. I think ghosting can cover a wide range of behaviour. I can function alone and do, but can't deny I am hurt when someone I have spent quite a lot of time with just disappears without a word. Do you think that's reasonable?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hate to break it to you, but you're in the millennial age category at 40. The date range is (allegedly) 1981 to 1996 as DOB.

Good effort...rather than trying to guy read my message...you focus in on that!! Be part of the solution poppet, not the problem

Could you try to be less aggressive with your answers please?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!"

I won't be responding to anything you post after this and don't respond to anything I say please.

This is a direct request for NO contact.

I tend not to talk with people that cannot read, comprehend or speak without insult.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uckslut and MCouple over a year ago

Poole

Yes, posted about this on Friday. Ghosted on Thursday, and he knew it was my birthday. - fem.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Hate to break it to you, but you're in the millennial age category at 40. The date range is (allegedly) 1981 to 1996 as DOB.

Good effort...rather than trying to guy read my message...you focus in on that!! Be part of the solution poppet, not the problem

Mate, we've been married 12yrs, together for 18. Neither of us has used any dating apps/websites and currently only meeting socially here. We aren't ghosting anyone, pal. You can't sneer about millennials as some kind of homogeneous group when you are one yourself!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If I've just chatted, that's easy to let go of. But when you've met someone in person? That's just nasty, I think.

Exactly this. Recently met someone, had an amazing night (well I thought so) arranged another meeting then nothing, despite 2 or 3 attempts to ask if everything was ok etc.

It does hurt, and leaves you wondering why, and what you fid wrong, but you have to move on."

I think it's really important not to get into examining what you did because it's an endless spiral. Sorry that happened to you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

I won't be responding to anything you post after this and don't respond to anything I say please.

This is a direct request for NO contact.

I tend not to talk with people that cannot read, comprehend or speak without insult.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

No,self respect is earned by not pandering to other people's needs and when you are honest with them and that just feeds their insecurities, walking away is always the best option. "

Perfect proof of how brittle society is now! Wrap everyone up in cotton wool, don't ever tell someone if they've failed and for what reason...and you wonder why you're all scratching your heads over this fucking 1st world problem!!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I have to say in all my life. No I haven't.

I've lost touch with people but never been ignored.

Nowadays people say .... Wahhhhh ive been ghosted.

Thoseadays we'd say..... Meh.....not seen her for a while.... I might call round and you either did or you didn't. After a while you'd say .... fuck em not seen em .....and im not chasing them.

No wonder society is paranoid!

Seems no one can function alone

Very reasonable, I'd be hurt but I think with me hurt would come after exploring other avenues.

E.G. I'm in touch with a good friend daily ..... Now if he didn't answer my texts i'd go into the Where are you ? You okay mode ?

Still no answer then I'd go and look for him to make sure he's safe.

I don't automatically assume i've been rejected.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

No,self respect is earned by not pandering to other people's needs and when you are honest with them and that just feeds their insecurities, walking away is always the best option.

I've reported you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I think we need a dictionary definition of 'self' ......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes, posted about this on Friday. Ghosted on Thursday, and he knew it was my birthday. - fem. "

I did see that!

A happy belated birthday!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

No,self respect is earned by not pandering to other people's needs and when you are honest with them and that just feeds their insecurities, walking away is always the best option.

I've reported you"

Brittle Britain in action!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have to say in all my life. No I haven't.

I've lost touch with people but never been ignored.

Nowadays people say .... Wahhhhh ive been ghosted.

Thoseadays we'd say..... Meh.....not seen her for a while.... I might call round and you either did or you didn't. After a while you'd say .... fuck em not seen em .....and im not chasing them.

No wonder society is paranoid!

Seems no one can function alone

Very reasonable, I'd be hurt but I think with me hurt would come after exploring other avenues.

E.G. I'm in touch with a good friend daily ..... Now if he didn't answer my texts i'd go into the Where are you ? You okay mode ?

Still no answer then I'd go and look for him to make sure he's safe.

I don't automatically assume i've been rejected. "

I don't know about others, but I usually look into other avenues first as I don't want to assume that he's rejected me. It's happening currently and I am still hoping that he might start talking again. (Fingers crossed) I always think people have a whole life outside chatting to me or being on this site!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes, several times over the years.

It made me feel sad, angry, distrustful of others, questioning everything they said or did, blaming myself for not listening to the signs etc.

That's awful.

Perhaps something happened in their life and everything changed. A few half hearted messages would have been better than no response at all. Then you would have got the feeling it had gone bad without just not knowing in a silent void.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

No,self respect is earned by not pandering to other people's needs and when you are honest with them and that just feeds their insecurities, walking away is always the best option.

Have you been ghosted? Is that why you are lashing out?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive been ghosted by more girls than i can remember, its not even cos i was rude or anything, we're in the middle of a convo and !POOF! never heard from again.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes, several times over the years.

It made me feel sad, angry, distrustful of others, questioning everything they said or did, blaming myself for not listening to the signs etc.

That's awful.

I will never know what happened. I have moved on and met others but now and again I think of him as ..I liked him.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I have to say in all my life. No I haven't.

I've lost touch with people but never been ignored.

Nowadays people say .... Wahhhhh ive been ghosted.

Thoseadays we'd say..... Meh.....not seen her for a while.... I might call round and you either did or you didn't. After a while you'd say .... fuck em not seen em .....and im not chasing them.

No wonder society is paranoid!

Seems no one can function alone

Very reasonable, I'd be hurt but I think with me hurt would come after exploring other avenues.

E.G. I'm in touch with a good friend daily ..... Now if he didn't answer my texts i'd go into the Where are you ? You okay mode ?

Still no answer then I'd go and look for him to make sure he's safe.

I don't automatically assume i've been rejected.

.. but if it's a changed pattern of behaviour then it raises alarms...

Let me know how it pans out. x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Ah .... plinky plinky plonk ! My first what's app of the day

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

No,self respect is earned by not pandering to other people's needs and when you are honest with them and that just feeds their insecurities, walking away is always the best option.

Have you been ghosted? Is that why you are lashing out?"

Everyone has been ghosted, including me! Not sure why you say I'm "lashing out"...other than the odd profanity, I delivered my point in a reasonably cogent manner!! If you find honesty uncomfortable...I can't help you!!

Wake up sheeple!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ive been ghosted by more girls than i can remember, its not even cos i was rude or anything, we're in the middle of a convo and !POOF! never heard from again."

Perhaps they just withdrew before you did it to them. You posted before that's what you do

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ive been ghosted by more girls than i can remember, its not even cos i was rude or anything, we're in the middle of a convo and !POOF! never heard from again."

It's just surreal sometimes isn't it? You're left blinking at your phone wondering if you imagined it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

No,self respect is earned by not pandering to other people's needs and when you are honest with them and that just feeds their insecurities, walking away is always the best option.

Have you been ghosted? Is that why you are lashing out?

Wake up sheeple!!"

You don't bother me at all. Your anger is aimed at someone else. Hope you find peace.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

No,self respect is earned by not pandering to other people's needs and when you are honest with them and that just feeds their insecurities, walking away is always the best option.

Have you been ghosted? Is that why you are lashing out?

Wake up sheeple!!"

You're being unnecessarily aggressive. I've asked you stop already. Granny asked you to stop. So stop.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Yes I've been ghosted and I've walked away from toxic friendships with a word being said by either of us, I guess at the time we both were ready to walk away, If questioned later on I would reply once and close the conversation.

Luckily I've had closure from my ghosts so moving on is easier

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ive been ghosted by more girls than i can remember, its not even cos i was rude or anything, we're in the middle of a convo and !POOF! never heard from again.

Perhaps they just withdrew before you did it to them. You posted before that's what you do"

I posted before thats what i do?

Uh no i have never ghosted anyone before cos i have a lot more respect for other ppl and their feelings.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You said previously it's not an acceptable way to treat people ( I agree btw)

So don't enable him to pick you up and put you down at his will

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes I've been ghosted and I've walked away from toxic friendships with a word being said by either of us, I guess at the time we both were ready to walk away, If questioned later on I would reply once and close the conversation.

Luckily I've had closure from my ghosts so moving on is easier

I did this to 2 friends last year. They massively pissed me off so I just made excuses for not chatting and drifted off to silence.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ive been ghosted by more girls than i can remember, its not even cos i was rude or anything, we're in the middle of a convo and !POOF! never heard from again.

Perhaps they just withdrew before you did it to them. You posted before that's what you do

I posted before thats what i do?

Uh no i have never ghosted anyone before cos i have a lot more respect for other ppl and their feelings.

Perhaps not ghosted, but you did say you get close and then withdraw because you get scared to get close.

If you're sharing this with women you chat to, perhaps they just don't want to be party to that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You said previously it's not an acceptable way to treat people ( I agree btw)

So don't enable him to pick you up and put you down at his will"

It's just been a few days. I give 'em a week.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately it seams to be the norm in today's dating world. Doesn't make a difference whether it's on here on any other dating sites. I've been a victim of it on more that a few occasions. Tought but I take comfort in that I've made some great friends anyway

. Just put it at the back of your mind. It's their loss x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ocketman20Man over a year ago

Douglas

About 4 years ago had a lovely meet with a girl on here. Took her to dinner, she stayed the night in my hotel and we parted the next day on good terms.

Then nothing, blocked and obviously no more messages. Would be nice to know why, but I guess she has her reasons.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is not an acceptable way to treat people however I think it is dependant on the circumstances.

I have not replied when it's got to the point of flogging a dead donkey or the here I am again pop ups after they had ceased contact previously.

I have had it after seeing someone for 2 years of here he made excuses not to meet a couple of times, then didn't reply at all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ive been ghosted by more girls than i can remember, its not even cos i was rude or anything, we're in the middle of a convo and !POOF! never heard from again.

Perhaps they just withdrew before you did it to them. You posted before that's what you do

I posted before thats what i do?

Uh no i have never ghosted anyone before cos i have a lot more respect for other ppl and their feelings.

Perhaps not ghosted, but you did say you get close and then withdraw because you get scared to get close.

If you're sharing this with women you chat to, perhaps they just don't want to be party to that "

Jesus no offence but you do have a habit of jumping to conclusions and taking things out of context.

Feeling anxiety over getting too close and withdrawing doesnt mean i ghost ppl, that might be the case for other ppl but not me. Like i said i have a lot more respect for other ppl.

And no i dont just start spilling my guts on the floor with women after a short time speaking to them. IF i show any vulnerable part of me its when i deem that its the right time to do so during a particular topic of discussion and i keep it brief. Besides i have never been ghosted shortly after showing my vulnerable side

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rNaughtyNickMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Seems be the norm having been on both dating sites and on here you eventually kinds get used to it.

Build up a rapport and strike a conversation and then suddenly the silence.....

Kinda cowardish rather just say that they are no longer interested or they have met someone else your left in limbo.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have. Its just part of the scene I reckon

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only last night on here, arranged to meet then nothing. Kind of sums up my experience on this place.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im At a age what's ghosting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes in the past

But not Happned in a while as I just tell people to be stright up with me

If they just want a one night bang at me say so

And let me make my mind up if it’s for me

Can’t get ghosted if going in to it I know it’s a one night and done deal

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he_Last_TitanMan over a year ago

Bristol

Happens all the time here.

I always assume women simply get distracted or find something ‘better’, in some way.

You get used to it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think if you've been dating its low. You are going to care about that person so to just vanish, knowing they could be worried for you feels awful. I would consider it bad manners for people you had arranged meets with, but had no other sort of ties too, to not respond but could shake that off easier than someone you had spent proper time and thoughts with.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *isstinseltoesWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

My first ever fab meet did this to me. We met a few times, then he blocked me.

Years later he got in touch to apologise and asked to meet again, I accepted the apology, but said no to meeting again.

In an ideal world people wouldn't do this, but I'll never work people out on fab!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Only last night on here, arranged to meet then nothing. Kind of sums up my experience on this place."

It's hard not to let the bad experiences build up. Feels like that for me at the moment but I have made friends and have had some great conversations.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

sorry it has happened to so many. But perhaps this underlines that it's not anything you've done - its not because you're not good enough - it's just something people do.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

All the time. I just don't invest much into people these days in case it happens.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Something newer and shiny came along and you’re no longer needed. It’s no biggy, just move onto the next

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

"Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!"

There's no need to be irascible.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Something newer and shiny came along and you’re no longer needed. It’s no biggy, just move onto the next

Not always that easy, Rex.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

There's no need to be irascible."

He's stopped since I reported him

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, I've been ghosted, it's not nice and gives your self esteem a bit of a dent but it will pass like everything else in life. We learn from it and move on.

Love bombed then ghosted was my experience ( all these new fancy terms) basically someone pretending to want more then became too busy to give me the time of day.

Oh well, his loss

You'll get over it and kick yourself for being taken in but you'll also be more cautious in future.

Chin up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iaisonseekerMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Yes, I have been ghosted but I try not to invest too much in contact that is primarily by electronic means of communication so it didn't overly bother me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

It happened to me twice with the same person. A lady who I’d known for two and a half years and had spent a lot of time with.

Someone I respected and trusted more than anyone else I’d ever met. Someone who I’d had numerous very honest conversations with about our relationships. It hurt.

It hurt even more when she came out with a complete cock and bull shit story about why she did it the second time.

So sad that all the respect for her just evaporated then and there.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

Getting ghosted on here and on dating sites is par for the course.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yes from hero to zero overnight ....knocked me a bit he hid his profile for a few weeks but I see its back on again. Hornyl

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *nfin8yWoman over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

The first time it happened to me I’d never heard of ghosting. Now I just ignore it and move on. I haven’t got the energy to try to figure out why it happens.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

I do sometimes feel like a ghost. Whooooo.... Whoooooooooo....

I guess that it's part of life, and death, and after-life...

In the end we are all alone, but until then all we can do is cling onto the wreckage floating in the icy sea, sometimes share a lifeboat for a little while until that too sinks under the waters.

If our meetings are merely two people that have been momentarily thrown together by the current, then we can drift together in an eddy for a little while until the wind changes and we separate again. It may be nobody's fault, just that there is not enough desire to hold onto each other. Sometimes the desire is there, but the storm is too strong and we get ripped apart anyway.

If we are very lucky we find people that are good enough and strong enough to haul us onboard their vessel. Sometimes we try to rescue others and bring them onto our own little raft. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Rarely there are the ones that give up their safety to join us in the water and help buoy us up for a while. Treasure the brief moments of company, take the hand when offered but don't drag them under the surface. Sometimes the best thing is to let go...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh my days...face plant emoji!!! Self respect is earned by being honest with people you Herbert!!!!

There's no need to be irascible."

Nero

I would explain what irascible means.

This is a recreational sex site which is not subject to “normal” dating convention. People come and people go, the whole casual sex scene is transient by nature.

There will be numerous reasons why people cease communication some beyond their control. In my case I was ghosted by a fab lady who unbeknownst to me was married. From daily texts and 3 meetings to the deafening sound of silence (oxymoron). Three months later I got a text apologising saying she was full of guilt and didn’t want to wreck her marriage. Ironically on my current fab Sojourn I stumbled on a profile with.........you guessed it pictures on a single lady profile which I had taken!

It seems in the year she taken to reflect on her situation she had lost 10 years in age and set her maximum age range to 20 years younger than me!

No one died! It seems I was done with and a newer younger model was required!

Onwards and upwards!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"It seems so common, so I'm sure loads of people have been through this sadly. Someone I was dating ghosted me earlier this year. It still stings.

If it's happened to you, how did it make you feel and how have you got past it?

With so much of all our lives being online these days, it’s just too easy for some to lose interest and move on to the next bunch of pixels on their screen. If they ghost you, they weren’t worth your time, fuck ‘em! Delete and block

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"I do sometimes feel like a ghost. Whooooo.... Whoooooooooo....

I guess that it's part of life, and death, and after-life...

In the end we are all alone, but until then all we can do is cling onto the wreckage floating in the icy sea, sometimes share a lifeboat for a little while until that too sinks under the waters.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ifty grades of shadyCouple over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Yep, had a goth girl take her death warmed up persona up a level to haunting us. Ghosted indeed.

Long sexy chats gone to looking at us but nothing else.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

Sometimes I've needed some time out from contact because of shit going on in my life. Nothing to do with the other person, but my head is so very full I just can't face even a conversation. I've tended to send a message to just say that I'll be absent for a while but I'll be in touch when I'm in a more stable place. Thankfully my friends have understood and have sent messages of support often prefaced with "no need to respond".

If it's someone I know well enough that stops contacting I will send a message just asking them to let me know they're ok and I'll stop hassling them until they're ready to get back in touch. Otherwise I'm really concerned and I'll only continue to message.

If it's someone I've been meeting for a while then I do think it's rude but I figure it's probably more about them and their life. I'll send a message or two, if they don't respond I'll send a "all the best and take care" type of message (unless I'm blocked, of course!) and then I'll move on.

If it's someone I've just been chatting to or have met only once or twice then I'll assume that they want to cut contact and I won't message again unless they get in touch with me. I'm not emotionally invested, it's just one of those things that happens, no biggie.

I've no real interest in dragging contact or conversation out of someone who doesn't want it, I'd rather leave them be.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It seems so common, so I'm sure loads of people have been through this sadly. Someone I was dating ghosted me earlier this year. It still stings.

If it's happened to you, how did it make you feel and how have you got past it?

Some people are just absolutely horrible horrible human beings,to treat others the way they do .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

Sometimes the 'GHOSTER' is just exercising self preservation, self respect.

Exactly this. When you have tried to explain but it has fallen on deaf ears what else can you do but withdraw?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Been on the receiving end. It’s shit. Done it to people. I was shit. Vx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I do know now why I have never been ghosted ever ......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orbidden eastMan over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Don’t believe in ghosts. They are just twats

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep, this afternoon

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was meeting someone from here fairly regularly for about 6 months. Then he suddenly stopped messaging which I can handle. He then went from ghosting me to being nasty and abusive on here. Dunno what goes on in some people's head.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It seems so common, so I'm sure loads of people have been through this sadly. Someone I was dating ghosted me earlier this year. It still stings.

If it's happened to you, how did it make you feel and how have you got past it?

It's always worse after you chat ages then get ghosted after sending a face pic lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hunderace...Man over a year ago

Dudley

Oh I get ghosted as much as anyone

Making a connection on fab no matter how strong is like buying a diamond ring that stays in the jewellery shop window... its still there for all to see and maybe someone more appealing comes along offering a bit more cash...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you get ghosted it's quite easy to feel disappointed, gutted even, and wonder what you did wrong.

But I think it's important to remember, if you get ghosted by someone you had chatted to a bit, it's them who are the rude selfish idiots, not you doing anything wrong.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve done it when I’m being pushed really hard. I’m reluctant to block, especially if they’re being nice but too persistent.

Sometimes I ask them to not push so hard and that gets mixed results.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *enuine MikeMan over a year ago

Guildford

I've never heard the term ghosted before. What is it exactly?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *reya73Woman over a year ago

Whitley Bay

"I've never heard the term ghosted before. What is it exactly?"

It's when someone you have been in contact with dissapears completely from all contact. Sometimes it means that they block you. All contact stopped with no ending or goodbye.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Don’t believe in ghosts. They are just twats

So you were Twatted ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uietly_KinkyMan over a year ago

High Wycombe

So often that I expect it these days.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I've never heard the term ghosted before. What is it exactly?"

Ghosted ( from saying - they disappeared as if they were a ghost )

Someone you know doesn't contact your or answer your texts, calls or letters and acts as if they never existed .

That's ghosting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"Don’t believe in ghosts. They are just twats

So you were Twatted ?"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *reya73Woman over a year ago

Whitley Bay

I have. It was slightly hurtful.. But mostly I found it slightly disrespectful. Mostly it was disappointing because I can handle clear communication. I'm pretty safe, no drama kind of person.

But in the end.. That's the way he decided it was easiest to part. Somehow I kinda understood.. He wasn't the best at being comfortable in expressing himself. He had told me some deep stuff about his past so I had a level of understanding of why that was easier that way. It was about him, not me. I didnt take it personally, although I felt disappointed.

Hey ho.

There are many ways.

You learn more about yourself when the way isnt how you wish it to be.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *enuine MikeMan over a year ago

Guildford

"I've never heard the term ghosted before. What is it exactly?

It's when someone you have been in contact with dissapears completely from all contact. Sometimes it means that they block you. All contact stopped with no ending or goodbye. "

Thank you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mily36CWoman over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I've never heard the term ghosted before. What is it exactly?

It's when someone you have been in contact with dissapears completely from all contact. Sometimes it means that they block you. All contact stopped with no ending or goodbye "

...and generally no reason why, so it's uber weird but ultimately just cowardly?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I was meeting someone from here fairly regularly for about 6 months. Then he suddenly stopped messaging which I can handle. He then went from ghosting me to being nasty and abusive on here. Dunno what goes on in some people's head.

He's a prize arsebiscuit that's what is in his head!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don’t believe in ghosts. They are just twats

So you were Twatted ?"

I think I will think this next time it happens. "I was twatted"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"Don’t believe in ghosts. They are just twats

So you were Twatted ?

I think I will think this next time it happens. "I was twatted"

A much better way of thinking about it, I love it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

Yep, by a LTP, it wasn't pleasant to say the least, I won't go into details.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lex199169Man over a year ago

tamworth

This happens with so many on here. Maybe they are trying to tell me something

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rgasmicChemistryCouple over a year ago

east coast

Yes we have H was upset about it because she didn't no what happened or what we had done but me on the other hand couldn't give 2 fucks lol x J

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ola81Woman over a year ago

pond

Happened so many times so now I just can't be bother and meet only people I already know. Attending big fab socials or going to clubs help meet genuine people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, hubby just says "oh dear, how sad, nevermind"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yep, by a LTP, it wasn't pleasant to say the least, I won't go into details. "

LTP? I don't know what that means but sorry it happened to you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This happens with so many on here. Maybe they are trying to tell me something

They're showing you what they're like that's all. They choose to ghost rather than be grownups.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Happened so many times so now I just can't be bother and meet only people I already know. Attending big fab socials or going to clubs help meet genuine people. "

I'm quite nervous about both of those things but perhaps it would serve me better.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

"Yep, by a LTP, it wasn't pleasant to say the least, I won't go into details.

LTP? I don't know what that means but sorry it happened to you."

LTP = long term partner I think

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yep, by a LTP, it wasn't pleasant to say the least, I won't go into details.

LTP? I don't know what that means but sorry it happened to you.

LTP = long term partner I think"

Oh. God.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *regnantCreampieMan over a year ago

Basildon

"It seems so common, so I'm sure loads of people have been through this sadly. Someone I was dating ghosted me earlier this year. It still stings.

If it's happened to you, how did it make you feel and how have you got past it?

More than you'd believe - wierdly by people who are up for "something", then delete the profile entirely..

Cold feet or fake people most likely, but its far more common than you'd believe unfortunately.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

To be honest if someone ghosted me I would think of it as a bit of a result really.

On the basis of: If they are that fucking shallow I'm better off without them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

A few times, particularly in my early 20's when women my own age were very fickle and flaky, especially if a better option came up like some other lad they'd met on a night out or if they were messaging multiple lads at the same time. Maybe they had a better car than me or were better looking, or more cocky and confident than me or whatever, the reasons would never be known because they full on ghosted me out of nowhere after we'd been getting on great up to that point, but a quick look on social media or finding out from friends if you had mutual ones usually gave a clue to what changed. It's a shitty thing to do but extremely common.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A few times, particularly in my early 20's when women my own age were very fickle and flaky, especially if a better option came up like some other lad they'd met on a night out or if they were messaging multiple lads at the same time. Maybe they had a better car than me or were better looking, or more cocky and confident than me or whatever, the reasons would never be known because they full on ghosted me out of nowhere after we'd been getting on great up to that point, but a quick look on social media or finding out from friends if you had mutual ones usually gave a clue to what changed. It's a shitty thing to do but extremely common."

I've had men in their 40s ghost me. I kind of wonder what people might do if they hit a difficult patch in a relationship. Because it's bailing, taking the easy way out where you don't have to say difficult things. Like "this isn't going to work" or "I don't find you attractive anymore" or "I've been cheating on you".

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ackdaw52Man over a year ago

Chesterfield

It was upsetting the first few times it happened.

After that you just expect it.

And I'm talking about 'proper' dating, not Fab.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

"Yep, by a LTP, it wasn't pleasant to say the least, I won't go into details.

LTP? I don't know what that means but sorry it happened to you.

LTP = long term partner I think

Oh. God.

Yes, sorry, long term partner. Sucky.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Surprisingly I’ve never actually been ghosted. There’s always been a bit of shit communication leading up to them no longer wanting to be in contact with me.

The way I’d deal with it now is think okay, you’ll try again in a few weeks/months, they ALL have.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Surprisingly I’ve never actually been ghosted. There’s always been a bit of shit communication leading up to them no longer wanting to be in contact with me.

The way I’d deal with it now is think okay, you’ll try again in a few weeks/months, they ALL have. "

Yeah, but then how would you deal with that?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Surprisingly I’ve never actually been ghosted. There’s always been a bit of shit communication leading up to them no longer wanting to be in contact with me.

The way I’d deal with it now is think okay, you’ll try again in a few weeks/months, they ALL have.

Yeah, but then how would you deal with that?"

Most of my counselling was based off me thinking I wasn’t enough. Going back to childhood, why didn’t my father want to see me, was kind of the blueprint for life, always going inward thinking there was something wrong with me, not good enough, not being worthy. All she said to me was what if your daughters father decided he didn’t want to see her, would I think she wasn’t good enough or enough for him, or would I just think he was an arse hole with his own shit going on? I’d think option B obviously.

Everyone has their own stuff going on and their own reasons why they don’t want to continue any kind of friendship, relationship or whatever with you and those reasons are probably nothing to do with you at all. THEY msy not feel good enough for you, they may have issues going on. People can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This happens to all sexes.

Was on a normal site, the lady was a good laugh, we had both worked and lived in the same area many years ago. She just suddenly vanished. No warnings. Just disappeared. Glad it was before actually meeting, but it pissed me off

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It seems so common, so I'm sure loads of people have been through this sadly. Someone I was dating ghosted me earlier this year. It still stings.

If it's happened to you, how did it make you feel and how have you got past it?

Many times, last time was the worst as we seemed to have a great connection, a good laugh and amazing sex, so many things in common, then from nowhere that was it! Completely blocked and ghosted. The worst part is when someone you thought you had a connection with just doesn’t have the decency to tell you to your face or on the phone that you are not for them.

I can handle critique and I totally understand I’m not for everyone, but decency surely is all we ask for.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ondoner27Man over a year ago

london

I have been ghosted a couple of times. Have to be honest, didn’t really bother me that much. They were clearly not interested and it can be awkward “breaking up” with someone you’re not together with

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is such a great reply, I always try to take the view that, we shouldn’t let others that have shunned us or ghosted us, have any kind of hold or effect on who we are. I try to imagine what they are doing, are they sat around worried about how they have made us feel? No are they heck, if they were concerned they wouldn’t have ghosted us in the first place. So don’t give them the time to effect who you are as a person, they don’t deserve you spending that time out of your life on them x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *pottydog46Man over a year ago

rainham

"It seems so common, so I'm sure loads of people have been through this sadly. Someone I was dating ghosted me earlier this year. It still stings.

If it's happened to you, how did it make you feel and how have you got past it?

I can handle critique and I totally understand I’m not for everyone, but decency surely is all we ask for."

Exactly this. I can cope with it when it’s just been a brief chat or a few messages, that means nothing, and I have even done it myself, but after actually meeting, and supposedly having a great time, it just borders on extremely rude and disrespectful. Also can be hurtful and create self doubt. It doesn’t take much to just say no thanks.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home. "

See I don’t like that. If I say that to someone it means I give a crap what happens to them - so even if they don’t want to see me again (which is fine - I probably wouldn’t fuck me either!) - I’d still much prefer it if they touched bases to say they’re ok.

The only case of ghosting that really got to me was a guy on here I’d met quite a few times. He was in the army and called me (though he wasn’t supposed to) from his posting. I heard shouting in the background, what could have been gunfire - then silence. I was absolutely worried sick - convinced he’d been shot or killed.

After over a week of worry and trying to find out if he was ok - I got a message on here from his brother (also on fab) to say he was alive and well. His brother had seen my status.

I was bloody furious that someone I cared about had simply allowed me to worry like that - and needless to say we never met again.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home.

After over a week of worry and trying to find out if he was ok - I got a message on here from his brother (also on fab) to say he was alive and well. His brother had seen my status.

I was bloody furious that someone I cared about had simply allowed me to worry like that - and needless to say we never met again. "

That sounds...truly grim. Sadly I don't think people often think of it from that perspective. I don't know if the guy who ghosted me earlier this year is ok. I'm fairly sure I know what triggered him to ghost me, but sometimes you don't know, you will never know and you have to draw a line and get on with life.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home.

After over a week of worry and trying to find out if he was ok - I got a message on here from his brother (also on fab) to say he was alive and well. His brother had seen my status.

I was bloody furious that someone I cared about had simply allowed me to worry like that - and needless to say we never met again.

Just flip the narrative. Instead of you feeling there was something wrong with you believe that the issue was his instead.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home.

After over a week of worry and trying to find out if he was ok - I got a message on here from his brother (also on fab) to say he was alive and well. His brother had seen my status.

I was bloody furious that someone I cared about had simply allowed me to worry like that - and needless to say we never met again.

Very true. I think it happens to most of us as some point - and usually it’s because the person simply lost interest for some reason. However - sometimes the people they ghost might be genuinely concerned - and it’s easy enough just to let them know you’re ok - even if you don’t want to meet them again. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home.

After over a week of worry and trying to find out if he was ok - I got a message on here from his brother (also on fab) to say he was alive and well. His brother had seen my status.

I was bloody furious that someone I cared about had simply allowed me to worry like that - and needless to say we never met again.

I don't know why people find it so hard to say "I'm not interested". I get that it's awkward, I don't enjoy it. There are times I just put it off because it feels rotten. But so much more straightforward than dodging around like this.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was a student I was dating a girl from Northern Ireland, and knew no-one from her family or inner circle, we just met, had a laugh, drinks, sex etc. Type of thing you do at 19. Anyhow she buggered off back to NI for the Summer abd before she did she told me she had really strong feelings for me, I liked her a lot and looked forward fo the next semester, but within a week she just stopped messaging, replying, phone went dead and that was that. She didn't go on msn messenger either which in 2003/4 was the standard for internet chat. She didn't even come back to uni, and I was even looking at the arbituaries is Ballymena for fucks sake.

She gets back to me in the October. Tells me she lost her phone in her shoe. Can't tell you what I said afterwards as it is regrettable

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

its part n parcel of swinging its always happened and will continue to do so ...

its no worse today than it ever been except there are a lot more people on the scene than before .. there are lots oif reasons why they do it and it done because they can ...dont make it right but best to accept it does happen ....

people really do need thick skin to swing we were told that by a then old couple we chatted with when we started 28 years ago and at times it so true

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think these are all swinging stories

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

"Happened so many times so now I just can't be bother and meet only people I already know. Attending big fab socials or going to clubs help meet genuine people. "

•

I agree: this is one way to at least *minimise* the 'let downs' by opportunists, time-wasters and fantasists.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adbod7519Man over a year ago

Leeds

I have. It’s a prime narcissist tactic.

More people should learn about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s a learning curve everyone can learn from for the better.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have. It’s a prime narcissist tactic.

More people should learn about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s a learning curve everyone can learn from for the better. "

Someone doesn't need to have NPD to be an out and out cunt

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"I have. It’s a prime narcissist tactic.

More people should learn about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s a learning curve everyone can learn from for the better. "

As I said already on this thread there can often be a very good reason to ghost. If someone is totally negative and spends their time analysing and criticising what others are doing while being guilty of exactly the same things and have no interest in anyone elses opinion but their own, it's like talking to the wall

No amount of reasonable discussion will work so the only solution is radio silence and let them move on and use someone else as their sounding board.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't think these are all swinging stories "

No, they're not. Nothing to do with swinging tbh.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In 2021 ghosting in dating is basically the standard.

I even went on a date once and said as we parted ways, text me when your home so I know you got back safe.

She’s either ghosted me or didn’t make it home.

After over a week of worry and trying to find out if he was ok - I got a message on here from his brother (also on fab) to say he was alive and well. His brother had seen my status.

I was bloody furious that someone I cared about had simply allowed me to worry like that - and needless to say we never met again.

Just flip the narrative. Instead of you feeling there was something wrong with you believe that the issue was his instead. "

Absolutely. Best way to move forward.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ugsly95Man over a year ago

Ashbourne

I’m so ghosted I forget I have this sometimes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

More times than I care to remember

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

Nope.. but I very rarely meet people and those I do I know really well so am always friends first.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ennyblossomsWoman over a year ago

Londonderry

Happens so much on fab.. but to be honest only here for the sex so not really worried...lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urora1912Woman over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I'm being ghosted at the moment by a guy in the dating world

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm being ghosted at the moment by a guy in the dating world

Sorry to hear that Aurora

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm being ghosted by someone who was on here. I had known him for a few years and spoke regularly on Kik. He came off fab without telling me and hasn't answered my texts or emails. It's really not like him or that's what I thought

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urora1912Woman over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

"I'm being ghosted at the moment by a guy in the dating world

Sorry to hear that Aurora "

Thank you. We live and learn. Stupidly I really like him and he's done it to me 3 times now, but I keep getting sucked back in when ever I see him

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urora1912Woman over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

"I'm being ghosted by someone who was on here. I had known him for a few years and spoke regularly on Kik. He came off fab without telling me and hasn't answered my texts or emails. It's really not like him or that's what I thought

Oh that's harsh. Sorry you're going through this

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *anae21Woman over a year ago

Nearer than you think

Yes, and it hurts

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep it's why I have a really strict policy now as all they want is free porn every time! The bs is disgraceful!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm being ghosted at the moment by a guy in the dating world

Sorry to hear that Aurora

Thank you. We live and learn. Stupidly I really like him and he's done it to me 3 times now, but I keep getting sucked back in when ever I see him

He'll continue to do it whilst you enable him to

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rOralMan over a year ago

Dublin

Yup, not cool at all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh that's harsh. Sorry you're going through this "

Thanks. I just don't understand it. I didn't realise that he was such a coward x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The thread is about to fill up. Wanted to say thank you to everyone who has contributed (apart from one who was reported!). I'm very sorry for those who've been hurt but also I can see that sometimes people see no other way out.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)