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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not sure this fits too well for this site and I'm ready to have the piss ripped out of me for asking.
So after a recent run of swiping right on a dating site I've got quite a few women messaging me and we've even swapped numbers and with a couple of them arranged dates.
Now I'm not one for telling lies, and I'm not a player (haven't been for over 20 years), but obviously I don't know how any date will go and if the dates will even go ahead. So my quandary is should I just try to delay one or two of them (although I don't like lying) and see how things go with one? Or just try and keep quiet and go on as many dates as possible, keeping my phone on mute the entire time I'm out with any of them?
Or any other suggestion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go on them all. There is a good likelihood that only one or two will feel "right", like a dating potential, chemistry, that undeniable one is also quite rare I found. I am guessing that matters too, along more relationship style tick boxes. |
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"Go on them all. See who you click with best. They're probably doing exactly the same, don't be exclusive until you are exclusive. "
Basically. If you have the freedom of time, responsibility and finances to go on all of them then I would.
Don’t worry about your phone. DND mode and give your date all the attention.
Have fun and live a little  |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
I go through fits and spurts with dates. I'll have none for ages and then I'll have 3 in a week!
I'm usually honest if the topic comes up, it doesn't need mentioning if it doesn't. It's a dating app, dates is what it's for! It will also show your potential popularity. If you've chosen to meet THEM (and then repeat dates afterwards) then that should speak for itself. For people to think they are the only one would be foolish in this day and age and they're potentially going to be high maintenance going forwards. |
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If I was dating I'd meet a few different men *if* they agreed or asked me  , I can't see any harm in sharing drinks or dinner with various people to who you owe no loyalty. If I started seeing someone regularly I'd have the "exclusivity" conversation |
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Be honest.
If the subject comes up, it's fine to be going on first dates with several people.
But if it comes to second dates, maybe message your other unmet matches to say that you will be concentrating on one person, and not meeting other people for a while.
It's better than trying to juggle |
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I think investing in just one person after a very short time leads to the mind set that causes people to stay in unhappy relationships for far longer than necessary. I think that it's fine to go on three or four dates with several different people as long as everyone knows where they stand. The problems start when dishonesty creeps in. I'd caution against getting sexual until or unless it's agreed that more than one sexual partner is ok.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go on them all trust me
You not be the only one they talking to or planing a date with
If your not exclusive then assume they got 3-4 or more on the go and quite rightfully so
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not on that place but had a conversation recently with 2 friends who are (1 guy 1 girl) and they both said that if you don't meet someone you match with within a week they will likely be on another date and will drift from you anyway.
So if its only for coffee,chat, quick drink I don't think there is any harm in going on a couple but if you like say the 2nd one and want to go out again maybe best to not go on a date with someone else after if that makes sense?
If the first couple don't grab you then I think going with someone else for a first date isn't that harmful as you could like them more.
Clear as mud  |
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By *enm83Man
over a year ago
Stockport |
"I'm not on that place but had a conversation recently with 2 friends who are (1 guy 1 girl) and they both said that if you don't meet someone you match with within a week they will likely be on another date and will drift from you anyway.
So if its only for coffee,chat, quick drink I don't think there is any harm in going on a couple but if you like say the 2nd one and want to go out again maybe best to not go on a date with someone else after if that makes sense?
If the first couple don't grab you then I think going with someone else for a first date isn't that harmful as you could like them more.
Clear as mud "
Go on as many as you can.
Then have a long nap after. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go on all of them. My experience is that a number will not want to meet again (obviously a very small percentage in my case  )and you can then see how you feel about the others. I'm now seeing a lady but I had met a large number in the interim until we clicked |
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I've never done the dating app thing, I do know though, having been on here, how important a sexual match can be, so if you're looking for a relationship, I'd not rule out testing that side of things before making your choice.
C |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Play the field and go on them all.
It’s not about being deceitful, but if you are looking for fun or something more serious you will hinder yourself if you start backing out ot coming up with excuses.
Just don’t arrange your dates for the same time ir even back to back. |
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"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.  "
The question is...how honest would/will you be if any of them ask if you are meeting ant others??
If you answer them honestly then you aren't stringing anyone along. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.
The question is...how honest would/will you be if any of them ask if you are meeting ant others??
If you answer them honestly then you aren't stringing anyone along."
If they ask I'll be honest. Keep them on their toes so they know I'm not desperate and if they want more they need to up their game |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
In addition to what’s been said - and this depends on what you are looking for! - I’m currently committed to loving a poly/nsa/open lifestyle.
I state this clearly on any dating profile which obviously means I get less interest but it does mean I don’t waste anyone else’s time or my own time.
Open and honest. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Go on as many as you like. Just don't get their names mixed up!"
Jeez that gives me flashbacks of my youth when I had a girlfriend called Joan, and another named Joanne. And back then they'd call on the landline and I sometimes didn't know which one I was taking to until a few minutes into the conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.
The question is...how honest would/will you be if any of them ask if you are meeting ant others??
If you answer them honestly then you aren't stringing anyone along.
If they ask I'll be honest. Keep them on their toes so they know I'm not desperate and if they want more they need to up their game "
That strategy could backfire spectacularly |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
I use three sites including this one. Yes at my age different to OP’s . Getting meets / dates difficult. If get , chatting ? Then yes progress if lucky . I can understand from previous female poster about other females not approving if they find out seeing others . Yet do they stop looking ? . Had one recent date if called that , saw at my house takeaway and drinks. Hopefully seeing again. If all ok next weekend . |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Go on them all. See who you click with best. They're probably doing exactly the same, don't be exclusive until you are exclusive.
Basically. If you have the freedom of time, responsibility and finances to go on all of them then I would.
Don’t worry about your phone. DND mode and give your date all the attention.
Have fun and live a little "
^ Exactly that.
I go on dates at a rate I have time for them , Currently only managing about 1-2 a month!! I wouldn’t worry about having multiple if you can for them in and of course your phone should be on silent if you’re on a date! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m about as prudish as it gets on here, and even I say go on them all
After only one date, you don’t owe anybody anything.
You’re a good guy though, to be even thinking about this
Best of luck with it all x |
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