FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do women never message first
Why do women never message first
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I think if a lady has viewed,it's partly like taking the first step.then to send them a message and get a response is an accomplishment have to remember amount of negative effects which women unexpectedly receive so tread carefully so seeing a lovely message is an achievement |
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They do message first.
Every conversation I've had since the beginning of 2020 has been initiated by a woman because I don't send messages.
Some of them have admitted that they never send first contact messages but my bio and forum comments encouraged them to do so. |
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The handful of women who have messaged me first have ALWAYS been outside of my locality, i.e. outside of London.
That doesn't mean London women don't message men. But it's been my personal experience.
But look at the empirical evidence of this thread: so far - as I write this - all the responses have been from non-London women.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The handful of women who have messaged me first have ALWAYS been outside of my locality, i.e. outside of London.
That doesn't mean London women don't message men. But it's been my personal experience.
But look at the empirical evidence of this thread: so far - as I write this - all the responses have been from non-London women. "
And got you there haha |
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Most couples and single wimen have no need to message first as each day they get inundated with messages.
If any are from someone that they may wish to chat to then I'm sure they will.
It's not often if not ever we have looked for people within our area as get hundreds of messages every day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So they probably don't message first for the same reason I'm reluctant to message first, it's always that worry of rejection.
Being very selective too doesn't help my case anyway, and I suppose with so much for them to choose from, I always assume they found what they were looking for, which wasn't me   |
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"The handful of women who have messaged me first have ALWAYS been outside of my locality, i.e. outside of London.
That doesn't mean London women don't message men. But it's been my personal experience.
But look at the empirical evidence of this thread: so far - as I write this - all the responses have been from non-London women.
And got you there haha"
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You did, your Ladyship!! |
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You also need to take into account that most wimen don't concider messaging a profile full of cock pics as they much prefer to see a nice torso and bum and dare I say a face pic as there needs to be an attraction to someone first before they may wish to meet someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have messaged first.
I am happy to pay a compliment regarding pics or forum contribution, plus initiate conversation if I am attracted to someone.
NBVN x |
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By *usty555 OP Man
over a year ago
pontypool |
"I have messaged first.
I am happy to pay a compliment regarding pics or forum contribution, plus initiate conversation if I am attracted to someone.
NBVN x"
It’s nice to hear I’ve been proven wrong mate I just ain’t that lucky lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think women msg if they see something they want or like. Yea some might wink at you instead and some might not want to msg first. But from my experience here women msg me first fairly often.
I don't really think women play it coy on this site tbh |
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"I’m just curious as I’m not saying women never do it’s just more common for the man to make the first step "
more than likely its because they are too busy replying the the stack or messages they receive for loads of guys,,  |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
Some do  ... and those women are awsome
BUT, if you would get hundreds if not thousand of messages every single day, that you can have your pick from, would you still message first?  ...common, I know you wouldn't
If cocks would be less easy to obtain...I reckon more women on fab would make an effort and start messaging first  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I do, usually to new men to welcome them to the site. They generally think they will do better, if they respond to my message, so it rarely goes far.
Or, I get blocked.
Basically, I have the male experience of Fab when I message first.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of my best meets (from those long gone days when I actually had meets) were from women who messaged me first, some from random areas of the country who lurked in the forum without ever posting. So it can happen.
No bugger ever chats me up these days mind. And that was bloody years ago when I was just a mere pup in Fab terms! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I do if I'm genuinely interested in someone. I'd go so far as to say all of my successful meets (so all bar one) have stemmed from me messaging first - whether that's from a forum post or a status or idle searching. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think it depends for me. If it’s one of my bi fem female profiles they normally answer me back quite quickly.  "
I know I messaged you first!  Before I was Lickety and before I was on the forum.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it depends for me. If it’s one of my bi fem female profiles they normally answer me back quite quickly. "
How nice to see your name pop up in The Forums again Funky |
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"I think it depends for me. If it’s one of my bi fem female profiles they normally answer me back quite quickly.
I know I messaged you first! Before I was Lickety and before I was on the forum.
"
Ah yes that rings my/a bell. You figment!  |
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"I think it depends for me. If it’s one of my bi fem female profiles they normally answer me back quite quickly.
How nice to see your name pop up in The Forums again Funky "
Cheers brah nice to see a few peeps I know! Xoxo |
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I'm not sure it actually happens I've had some from couples.
The irony is there's a woman on this thread I messaged about 2 years ago but got no response!
However a few weeks ago I bumped into her and her friend in a club. Got on really well and went to a room twice!.
Since then sadly things have soured due to events she set up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure it actually happens I've had some from couples.
The irony is there's a woman on this thread I messaged about 2 years ago but got no response!
However a few weeks ago I bumped into her and her friend in a club. Got on really well and went to a room twice!.
Since then sadly things have soured due to events she set up. "
What events? |
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I do....it might be I've noticed them on the forums or if they have interesting pics that make me intrigued or a well thought out profile that stands out from the generic single male boring profile I'll message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was messaged first by one extremely attractive forumite last week, they offered to do a social meet cos we live quite close to each other. Didnt go ahead though cos i had nothing off them about what time to meet
It happens, theres just a lot women already have to go through before your ticket is up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some do ... and those women are awsome
BUT, if you would get hundreds if not thousand of messages every single day, that you can have your pick from, would you still message first? ...common, I know you wouldn't
If cocks would be less easy to obtain...I reckon more women on fab would make an effort and start messaging first "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They do message first! I’d say with my profile it’s pretty 50:50.
I haven’t seen your profile, but start with you - what can you change? What can you add in? Sometimes leaving more up to the imagination can get you those messages.
Also chat rooms are good too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been known to message first..
I also chat up men in bars..
If you see something you like, I figure why wait for them..
But then I’m a forward, outgoing kinda chick. |
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"I'm not sure it actually happens I've had some from couples.
The irony is there's a woman on this thread I messaged about 2 years ago but got no response!
However a few weeks ago I bumped into her and her friend in a club. Got on really well and went to a room twice!.
Since then sadly things have soured due to events she set up.
What events?"
I got played that's all I can say. |
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"I’m just curious as I’m not saying women never do it’s just more common for the man to make the first step "
It may be that you haven't been contacted by a woman who isn't actually a man, doesn't mean it doesn't happen though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure a woman will message first if they see something they like. Suppose there has to be a wanting, just the same as I wouldn't message first if I wasn't interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They do! We got a message from a "Woman", "Her" 2nd message asked what we were in to. When we replied it's on our profile the message got deleted and we never heard from her again  "
Yeah… they don’t like it up um. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure it actually happens I've had some from couples.
The irony is there's a woman on this thread I messaged about 2 years ago but got no response!
However a few weeks ago I bumped into her and her friend in a club. Got on really well and went to a room twice!.
Since then sadly things have soured due to events she set up.
What events?
I got played that's all I can say. "
You got played after hooking up in a club, wow some people are aweful  |
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"I'm not sure it actually happens I've had some from couples.
The irony is there's a woman on this thread I messaged about 2 years ago but got no response!
However a few weeks ago I bumped into her and her friend in a club. Got on really well and went to a room twice!.
Since then sadly things have soured due to events she set up.
What events?
I got played that's all I can say.
You got played after hooking up in a club, wow some people are aweful "
There was a bit more to it than that!. But yes I should have realised earlier tbh |
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This is a woman's world on here. We are outnumbered thousands to one, so I always feel it's a woman's prerogative to message first, and for us not to make a nuisance of ourselves. Probably why my inbox rarely lights up!
Just my take on it. |
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"I look at it like this, if they look at your profile and it doesn’t make them want to send a message they won’t."
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Hmmm, not necessarily so...
On a couple of occasions I've contacted women who looked at my profile:
The first one was too shy to message me. The rest is history.
The second one admitted she looked at mine along with 100 others in a fleeting moment without taking it all in. Her intention was to go back to mine and a couple of others and take it from there...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I send messages to people I’m attracted to.
Or people I get on well with in the forums.
"
Exactly this, if you have some kind of interest then most likely you will message them |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I have quite often messaged first on here .It could be from a comment on the forums or a profile that I like but I don't have an issue with sending a first message.It also made me realise how hard it can be to send a first message to someone. |
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I have done..... Twice
One told me I he liked 'real women' (I am assuming he meant I didn't have a full enough figure for his tastes, which is absolutely fine but there is a way of putting it!) The other one was so surprised a woman had messaged him first he wanted me to jump through hoops to prove I was real 
Now I just sit back and let the guys do the hard work and try to reply as respectfully as I can x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The handful of women who have messaged me first have ALWAYS been outside of my locality, i.e. outside of London.
That doesn't mean London women don't message men. But it's been my personal experience.
But look at the empirical evidence of this thread: so far - as I write this - all the responses have been from non-London women. "
^ This!!! |
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Maybe because there's a greater ratio of men to women...... I'm still getting used to this site and alot of female profiles say how they get "100s of messages a day" and too "make your message stand out.
Of course this is just my observation, I guess the only people who can give a good answer are the ladies
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"I have done..... Twice
One told me I he liked 'real women' (I am assuming he meant I didn't have a full enough figure for his tastes, which is absolutely fine but there is a way of putting it!) The other one was so surprised a woman had messaged him first he wanted me to jump through hoops to prove I was real
Now I just sit back and let the guys do the hard work and try to reply as respectfully as I can x"
Silly sods! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The handful of women who have messaged me first have ALWAYS been outside of my locality, i.e. outside of London.
That doesn't mean London women don't message men. But it's been my personal experience.
But look at the empirical evidence of this thread: so far - as I write this - all the responses have been from non-London women.
^ This!!!"
I've done the Fab-man thing and messaged men in areas I'm about to visit. I do all the work, it will be my hotel room and after agreeing it all I have had only ever had one man turn up.
In London, the travel to visit time determines whether I would bother to try and arrange something. I'm not crossing the River to be ghosted.
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"This past week I have made the first contact several times after seeing a meet post and success club socials so can happen with successful outcome "
yes it can have a successful outcome sadly it can also be the opposite. Depending on whether the other person is treated with respect and decency! |
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"In London, the travel to visit time determines whether I would bother to try and arrange something. I'm not crossing the River to be ghosted.
"
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Not even to escape the wanton Ringwraiths via Buckleberry Ferry? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"In London, the travel to visit time determines whether I would bother to try and arrange something. I'm not crossing the River to be ghosted.
•
Not even to escape the wanton Ringwraiths via Buckleberry Ferry? "
Buckland is overrated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because they don’t have to. Women outnumber men by such a huge amount even the female profiles with an age of 87 and no pics and no text probably get 50 mails a day |
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If I found the pictures attractive, the write up interesting and leaving me to want to know more AND I match the age range/other preferences etc then I would send a message. However with so many profiles of just disembodied cocks and nothing of interest in a profile I’ll just keep moving along. Wouldn’t you?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dunno. Not just on here though, it took years to teach her ladyship that if she was missing me she was quite welcome to send me a message rather than wait for me to do so
Mr |
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"It’s nice to hear I’ve been proven wrong mate I just ain’t that lucky lol "
Maybe ladies don't message first to guys with a dick-pic as their profile pic!
Probably 50% of the conversations I have are started by the ladies! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m just curious as I’m not saying women never do it’s just more common for the man to make the first step "
I actually believe this is historical. Men make the first move thing. Women at allowed to ask to marry only on a leap year. You know, the usual stuff, and that’s stayed and is in here too.
Plus, they are all busy replying to 1000s of messages from 1000s of men on here. No time to send any 1st ones out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because they don't need to mostly, when you have a lot to choose from already you don't have to seek it out like guys do. I will send the first message if I'm into their profile but usually wait for a wink to be returned first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've sent maybe 2 messages out. The reality is whenever I log on I spend so long going through the ones that are coming in that I can't be bothered to or need to by the time I've done that |
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