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Who FAP tonight?

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North

Fancies a penis?

Say you’re in and who knows, Christmas may cum early for you

Love and Peace

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You FAP

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"You FAP "

Me FAP, no. You FAP?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You FAP

Me FAP, no. You FAP? "

I'm living the FAP life Rex.

(Just without any P)

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content "

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"You FAP

Me FAP, no. You FAP?

I'm living the FAP life Rex.

(Just without any P) "

It’s pointless me having my P lately. It doesn’t get used

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now "

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post "

I was talking about the leg hole of your knickers

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli

I'll stick with the one I have

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"I'll stick with the one I have"

What? You wouldn’t like to upgrade?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post

I was talking about the leg hole of your knickers "

Opps I thought you meant something else my bad emmm I am tight

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I definitely need a good shagging.

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post

I was talking about the leg hole of your knickers

Opps I thought you meant something else my bad emmm I am tight "

Too late now, we’ve all seen it

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'll stick with the one I have

What? You wouldn’t like to upgrade? "

I'm well trained with the one I have, changing would be a hindrance I think

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"I definitely need a good shagging."

That’s the spirit

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"I'll stick with the one I have

What? You wouldn’t like to upgrade?

I'm well trained with the one I have, changing would be a hindrance I think "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Me....... doesn't look like I'll be getting any anytime soon though!

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By *EAT..85Woman  over a year ago

Nottingham

Meeeee please. I'm woefully underpenised these days

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Me....... doesn't look like I'll be getting any anytime soon though! "

It’s your birthday as well. You need a birthday penis to cheer you up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Meeeee please. I'm woefully underpenised these days "

Underpenised! This really made me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post

I was talking about the leg hole of your knickers

Opps I thought you meant something else my bad emmm I am tight

Too late now, we’ve all seen it "

Emmm well at least you know you can bang me as hard as you like and I not going to go ooo that’s to much stop

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By *affron40Woman  over a year ago

manchester

Innnnnnnnnn too tired to move though so can I just have one coptering around for my amusement?!?!

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By *uxom redCouple  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Does it come attached to a lovely chap?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why? Is there a penis market happening?

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Meeeee please. I'm woefully underpenised these days "

Have you been a good girl this year? Father C may grant your wish

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post

I was talking about the leg hole of your knickers

Opps I thought you meant something else my bad emmm I am tight

Too late now, we’ve all seen it

Emmm well at least you know you can bang me as hard as you like and I not going to go ooo that’s to much stop "

Can I just use a table leg instead?

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Innnnnnnnnn too tired to move though so can I just have one coptering around for my amusement?!?! "

I’ll make sure the big man himself empties his sack for you……………………. all over yer tits

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post

I was talking about the leg hole of your knickers

Opps I thought you meant something else my bad emmm I am tight

Too late now, we’ve all seen it

Emmm well at least you know you can bang me as hard as you like and I not going to go ooo that’s to much stop

Can I just use a table leg instead? "

I don’t think it will fit don’t believe everything you see he he

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Does it come attached to a lovely chap? "

If that’s what you’ve wrote on your letter then yes

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By *uxom redCouple  over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Does it come attached to a lovely chap?

If that’s what you’ve wrote on your letter then yes "

Jolly good

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I really really really REALLY want it tonight. You'd have thought last night was more than enough but you'd be so wrong. Mr is working tonight too so I've got to wait until early morning for anything

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Why? Is there a penis market happening? "

Yes, it’s like those German ones with a selection of cock for you to try before you buy

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

I've only 2 more sleeps to go until I get mine

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post

I was talking about the leg hole of your knickers

Opps I thought you meant something else my bad emmm I am tight

Too late now, we’ve all seen it

Emmm well at least you know you can bang me as hard as you like and I not going to go ooo that’s to much stop

Can I just use a table leg instead?

I don’t think it will fit don’t believe everything you see he he "

I can never go to oakfurnitureland again and look at those tables the same way

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"I really really really REALLY want it tonight. You'd have thought last night was more than enough but you'd be so wrong. Mr is working tonight too so I've got to wait until early morning for anything "

I’m on my way

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"I've only 2 more sleeps to go until I get mine "

You get a penis in 2 days? Did you get it on Prime?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why? Is there a penis market happening?

Yes, it’s like those German ones with a selection of cock for you to try before you buy "

Will there be mulled wine too? to kill the after taste

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Why? Is there a penis market happening?

Yes, it’s like those German ones with a selection of cock for you to try before you buy

Will there be mulled wine too? to kill the after taste "

It depends, are you a swallower?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Me....... doesn't look like I'll be getting any anytime soon though!

It’s your birthday as well. You need a birthday penis to cheer you up "

Try telling that to the men who own them!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok knickers dropped on you go bang away till your heart is content

You’ve dropped them on my head and I can’t find the hole now

Well that’s a first as it’s like the grand canyon how can you miss it normally can’t touch the sides is the problem not finding it

Ooo god this post

I was talking about the leg hole of your knickers

Opps I thought you meant something else my bad emmm I am tight

Too late now, we’ve all seen it

Emmm well at least you know you can bang me as hard as you like and I not going to go ooo that’s to much stop

Can I just use a table leg instead?

I don’t think it will fit don’t believe everything you see he he

I can never go to oakfurnitureland again and look at those tables the same way "

Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why? Is there a penis market happening?

Yes, it’s like those German ones with a selection of cock for you to try before you buy

Will there be mulled wine too? to kill the after taste

It depends, are you a swallower? "

I can't answer that . My mouth is full and it would be rude

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Me....... doesn't look like I'll be getting any anytime soon though!

It’s your birthday as well. You need a birthday penis to cheer you up

Try telling that to the men who own them!! "

GUYS. DREAMY NEEDS COCK, IT’S HER BIRTHDAY

Will that do?

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Why? Is there a penis market happening?

Yes, it’s like those German ones with a selection of cock for you to try before you buy

Will there be mulled wine too? to kill the after taste

It depends, are you a swallower?

I can't answer that . My mouth is full and it would be rude "

That is a good answer

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By *affron40Woman  over a year ago

manchester


"Innnnnnnnnn too tired to move though so can I just have one coptering around for my amusement?!?!

I’ll make sure the big man himself empties his sack for you……………………. all over yer tits "

You’re all heart

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By *ickshawedCouple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Does it come attached to a lovely chap? "

This made me think of a vacuum cleaner. Do you have an attachment for the hard to reach areas? Or a special bit for when you're on the stairs?

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By *r_BlueEyesMan  over a year ago

Manchester

Mine can be sent out on loan for those who are in need. No charge. All I ask is that it's sent back promptly and in reasonable condition!

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By *akbearMan  over a year ago

Newbury

Im in to lend mine out.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Im in to lend mine out."

Have you been double jabbed?

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By *akbearMan  over a year ago

Newbury


"Im in to lend mine out.

Have you been double jabbed?"

Double jabbed and flu jabbed, full of little pricks.

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By *indergirlWoman  over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I had mine this afternoon

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman  over a year ago

On a mooch

No thanks OP, washing my hair tonight

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Innnnnnnnnn too tired to move though so can I just have one coptering around for my amusement?!?!

I’ll make sure the big man himself empties his sack for you……………………. all over yer tits

You’re all heart "

It’s the season for giving

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"No thanks OP, washing my hair tonight "

Mines shrunk cause it’s gone keld

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I would say yes, but I'm getting one in the morning.

*but now I've told you it's not going to happen *

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"No thanks OP, washing my hair tonight

Mines shrunk cause it’s gone keld "

Shall I cup it for you, Sir?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman  over a year ago

On a mooch


"No thanks OP, washing my hair tonight

Mines shrunk cause it’s gone keld "

You’ve been keld a very long time then

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"No thanks OP, washing my hair tonight

Mines shrunk cause it’s gone keld

Shall I cup it for you, Sir?"

With your vagina, yes.

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By *ildmanYorksMan  over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge


"Meeeee please. I'm woefully underpenised these days "

Well you can put your mouth under my penis any day

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By *reya73Woman  over a year ago

Whitley Bay

I'm so in.

I really fancy penis. Only have to wait until tomorrow. I'm gonna slide all over that penis. Ugg.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"No thanks OP, washing my hair tonight

Mines shrunk cause it’s gone keld

Shall I cup it for you, Sir?

With your vagina, yes. "

I shall warm her up immediately

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"I'm so in.

I really fancy penis. Only have to wait until tomorrow. I'm gonna slide all over that penis. Ugg. "

You've put the mockers on it now.

Every time I mention I'm going to be having sex he doesn't turn up, because work calls.

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By *MrandMrsRedxCouple  over a year ago

Wiltshire

I fancy the Mr’s penis tonight like always but he’s full of the evil covid so keeping my distance!

Mrs

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By *ed VoluptaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral.

Do you come with the penis, Rex?

Could be a dealbreaker

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"Do you come with the penis, Rex?

Could be a dealbreaker "

My penis cums yes

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North

All you lot saying ‘I’ll have to wait for tomorrow’ I hope your fannys heel up

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"All you lot saying ‘I’ll have to wait for tomorrow’ I hope your fannys heel up "

Mine will be smoking by the time he's finished with me

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By *ex Holes OP   Man  over a year ago

Up North


"All you lot saying ‘I’ll have to wait for tomorrow’ I hope your fannys heel up

Mine will be smoking by the time he's finished with me "

Is he a sex machine?

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