FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A nice way to say no?
A nice way to say no?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow 
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt??? |
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"
No idea. I think this is an issue many of us have. I often take the cowards way out and don’t reply!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A really tough one that . The recipients on here should take it with a pinch of salt and not be offended . One person (s) no likey can be another’s likey . But it’s prob shite to read anyway the rejection mail . Hand over eyes moment lol |
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Honesty is a big thing. Ive been on the receiving end after getting on well with someone. Facepic exchanged,she said I wasn’t her type.no issues at all,I said no worries. Still chat as we get on well |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Theres never an easy way to tell someone that you don't find them attractive, but it can be better all round than just ghosting or ignoring them.
The best thing you can do is to swap face pics early on so you can avoid wasting your time and theirs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd prefer you just to say we're not your type rather ths than ignore. (I know it's up to people how they do it).
If we send a face pic we often say "don't worry if we're not your type" and it often follows with a no thank (not the alternative  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"
too shallow ? erm no you know what you like stick to it i wont move the goal post for no one i alway say it in a straight forward honest way a simple no thanks its their problem if they cant handle that ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“Thank you for taking the time to converse and for sending your photo. I regret that on this occasion i do not wish to take things further. I wish you all the best with your fabbing
And if you get the usual “why?”
Quite bricktop! |
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that. |
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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
We both look at the pictures and then let the other couple know that we didn't get a spark but, if they see us in a club, to feel free and say hello. We do that because sometimes people really take poor pictures and the in person thing works for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that. "
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would much rather somone told me straight up. Saying that i am a bit of hypocrite in that regard as i have spoken to people without face pics then been like "im not really into them" once they have sent one and just stopped replying, i do feel a little bit of a prick though
But i have face pictures and stuff up anyway. So i would be a tad upset if we spoke for awhile then they said that lol!
I quite dislike the Meta of this site with the no reply thing personally. Even tho i admit i do do it myself but do try make an effort for a well thought out message
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"
Never converse with someone with a view to meeting without seeing a face pic first.
My reply would be
"thank you so much for sharing your face picture with me, I really appreciate it but I don't want to take this any further".
If they turn into a fuckwit, block.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had:
You’re not my type
It’s not for me/us
Not really interested etc
I’ve had these after being asked for a face pic without me messaging first. Could easily get annoyed, if I was a fool, but they all get a No problem, hope you find the right thing soon, and we part ways happy that kindness and politeness are free and still exist.
No need to explain why, just state what. |
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down "
Lighten up! It's a fucking joke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they've sent a face pic then you have to shag them. It's a swingers site - they are doing you a favour by offering sex. Swingers shrivel up and die if they don't have lots of sex.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I go offline for two weeks and hope they go away.
I’m a cowardly cowardly custard
Not Angel's delight? 
I don’t seem to attract angels, I’m not sure why? "
They fallen through gaps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say "sorry but there's no attraction for me. Happy fabbing".
Tbh most guys send a face pic with their first message which makes the choice easier for both of us. |
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A simple "you're not for me but I hope you find what you're looking for on here" has always worked in the past...I've never had a nasty reply to that. I do have on my profile though that facial attraction is important to me. |
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I don't think I've been in that situation (if I'm attracted to someone via messages it would have to be a hell of a face pic that put me off!), but I've been asked for a face pic and then been rejected on that basis.
Mostly it's along the lines of "it's been fun chatting but you're not my type", sometimes just a straight block. I'd rather have a message back but it's no big deal either way, a no is a no however it's expressed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down
Lighten up! It's a fucking joke "
It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve said it before sorry your not my type but happy to keep chatting but only as friends. I’ve also had that from a social before and really good friends with the guy |
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down
Lighten up! It's a fucking joke
It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that "
Humor is subjective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course I'd appreciate a message back to be honest if wasn't their type, but if I send one and they don't reply then I take that as a cue that they're not interested.
I would just be upfront with them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down
Lighten up! It's a fucking joke
It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that
Humor is subjective. "
Yeh a stranger might not like that mate.
Poor fucker has blue balls and your throwing joke's at him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down
Lighten up! It's a fucking joke
It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that
Humor is subjective. "
Exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down
Lighten up! It's a fucking joke
It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that
Humor is subjective.
Yeh a stranger might not like that mate.
Poor fucker has blue balls and your throwing joke's at him "
The joke was the suggestion that you send that reply, not that you send the reply as a joke 
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down
Lighten up! It's a fucking joke
It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that
Humor is subjective.
Yeh a stranger might not like that mate.
Poor fucker has blue balls and your throwing joke's at him
The joke was the suggestion that you send that reply, not that you send the reply as a joke
Mr"
Ffs. The mind boggles. Can’t believe that anyone took that seriously enough to have a go. |
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.
Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.
Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down
Lighten up! It's a fucking joke
It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that
Humor is subjective.
Yeh a stranger might not like that mate.
Poor fucker has blue balls and your throwing joke's at him
The joke was the suggestion that you send that reply, not that you send the reply as a joke
Mr
Ffs. The mind boggles. Can’t believe that anyone took that seriously enough to have a go. "
I really wasn't trying to start an argument but add a little humor! (Yes know my humor is dark) |
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This is why we get photos out of the way, very first thing, if possible, unless it's somebody we like just because we like them even if nothing sexual happens between us. We just avoid getting into the situation you describe. |
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Chatted, swapped face pics, met socially and THEN realised there was so spark while they spoke at me about their ex.
I had to say face to face that there was nothing sexual. I think I may have been too honest when I said he reminded me of Timmy Mallet. Sorry Simon |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
It would look worse if you continue chatting and then said no even later. The simple solution is to say no thanks immediately after you have swap photos. You not going to meet them so why worry too much about what they think, sounds harsh but that is the reality. |
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"
Tell them they're the spitting image of your dad or grandad.. and it would be to weird. |
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"
I would rather be told honestly than just stop chatting. I like to know where I stand so just being told I’m not their type is better I feel
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Block them for 2 weeks, then unblock them.
If they get back in touch again explain that you are not sure how that happened and you apologise for that. But unfortunately as it stands now you are currently unavailable. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"
So it depends. If you are chatting to someone purely as a potential risk fuck and looks are critical you should make that clear abs get it out out the way straight away. The longer you leave it the harder it is and the colder it feels especially if you were getting on.
Tbh there’s people here I’ve chatted/chatting to and what they look like would make no difference , I want to know them and meet them. Others they need to be attractive to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Tell them they're the spitting image of your dad or grandad.. and it would be to weird."
I like this except I'm now imagining some poor fabbers getting told every day that they look like peoples dads mums, brothers, sisters etc and wondering why they're suddenly some kind of universal lookalike
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they've sent a face pic then you have to shag them. It's a swingers site - they are doing you a favour by offering sex. Swingers shrivel up and die if they don't have lots of sex. "
Also.. Can't they wear a paper bag?? |
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"Thanks for the pic - im happy to chat but not looking to meet x
The OP’s brief was to politely kill it off, not to encourage further dialogue.  "
Id guess it would have the same effect - they don’t want to chat - but I take the point - just thank them for the pic and say sorry but you’re not my type - happy swinging and good luck! If they get arsey after that - block |
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"If they've sent a face pic then you have to shag them. It's a swingers site - they are doing you a favour by offering sex. Swingers shrivel up and die if they don't have lots of sex.
Also.. Can't they wear a paper bag??"
highlight the positive ? Awesome cock - just your face isn’t what id hoped for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they've sent a face pic then you have to shag them. It's a swingers site - they are doing you a favour by offering sex. Swingers shrivel up and die if they don't have lots of sex.
Also.. Can't they wear a paper bag??"
Exactly.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?
I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow
But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???
Tell them they're the spitting image of your dad or grandad.. and it would be to weird."
I've said this before. He thought it was a green light.... |
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