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Rejection
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel."
How dare they turn down the Ass Eating King. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can't feel sad about being rejected by someone you don't know or have never met.
I hate when you think you have come up with a whitty articulate first message, and the recipient deletes without reading..
I always think that fucker owes me back that fifteen minutes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel."
I just think, oh how sad, they missed a rock hard thing they could have had immense fun with... |
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When I first joined fab yes it did OP but now I understand it’s just how it works on here. It’s not personal and everyone is entitled to persue there own attraction preferences. Just move on because there will be people for you on here. If an old fart like me can do well on here you will for sure |
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You are sending an unsolicited message to someone - they aren’t expecting it so whilst you might want it to be a positive response, there’s no point building your hopes up.
What you are best doing before sending a message to increase your chances of a positive response is to make sure your profile and pics are decent and to be engaging in your message.
Don’t worry about rejection…you can’t appeal to everyone.
K |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel.
How dare they turn down the Ass Eating King. "
Translation - cries himself to sleep.
I've never messaged anyone and had them say no OP. Don't get me wrong, I message people if I'm interested. If I was turned down I'd probably write a sad, sad song about it while eating ice cream and crafting a voodoo doll. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel.
How dare they turn down the Ass Eating King.
Translation - cries himself to sleep."
I don't need to cry myself to sleep. I just read your ramblings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I reacted in any of those ways to somebody not being interested in a message I sent on here I would know it was time to leave.
They aren't interested in me its not in anyway hurtful.
Ans no I wouldnt change my approach or myself because of that |
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Nobody is universally appealing, including myself...it's inevitable that we'll all face rejection at some point in our lives. If you honestly believe that you're presenting yourself in the best light, I really can't see what else there is to do apart from accept it gracefully and move on, they're not the person for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why I don’t ask.   "
But seriously, I would ask again tomorrow, and then the day after. Hopefully bug her until she gives in.
*it appears that I can’t answer this question seriously. 
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We’ve faced some rejection both on this profile and my single profile, and I have to say it doesn’t bother me personally! I’m a believer in things happening for a reason (haha Mr will be rolling his eyes)! One size doesn’t fit all, and we can’t be for everyone, so I keep my expectations low and anything else is a bonus Miss pc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel."
Grateful that they said no clearly, and I thank them for it and wish them well. |
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Constant rejection would make me feel bad. I don't think it's good for the soul. Although I'm pretty robust and have good self esteem I know not to put myself in positions where a lot of rejection is likely. I would need to adjust my reaction to it I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But does a 55 year old bloke have the right to be upset and angry because 22 year old women are not replying to him or turning him down regularly?
Everybody kind of has an intrinsic build in measure of what is in and out of their league.
If you are going to keep aiming high all the time, you should be able to expect the fallout. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But does a 55 year old bloke have the right to be upset and angry because 22 year old women are not replying to him or turning him down regularly?
Everybody kind of has an intrinsic build in measure of what is in and out of their league.
If you are going to keep aiming high all the time, you should be able to expect the fallout."
This question now has more depth than just how do you handle rejection… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rejection is part of life. The only time we’ve had a problem with it was when someone said “you’re a bit too curvy for me”
We didn’t have a problem with their reasoning there was just no need to say it. No response, a delete or a polite no thanks would have done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rejection from messages have never really bothered me. We can’t be everyone cuppa so as kind as no one’s time is wasted by being Lead on without any intention of meeting, I’m good with that.
There are other ways that people feel rejected on fab other than through messages and we could all do better with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But does a 55 year old bloke have the right to be upset and angry because 22 year old women are not replying to him or turning him down regularly?
Everybody kind of has an intrinsic build in measure of what is in and out of their league.
If you are going to keep aiming high all the time, you should be able to expect the fallout.
This question now has more depth than just how do you handle rejection… "
Rejected = I may need change myself to fit other people's requirements.
Don't think so
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But does a 55 year old bloke have the right to be upset and angry because 22 year old women are not replying to him or turning him down regularly?
Everybody kind of has an intrinsic build in measure of what is in and out of their league.
If you are going to keep aiming high all the time, you should be able to expect the fallout.
This question now has more depth than just how do you handle rejection…
Rejected = I may need change myself to fit other people's requirements.
Don't think so
"
I don’t think I would either.
Rejected = someone said no.
But the 55 year old is specific to an individual and an experience, not really a general question like the opening post. Don’t you think ? |
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"But does a 55 year old bloke have the right to be upset and angry because 22 year old women are not replying to him or turning him down regularly?
Everybody kind of has an intrinsic build in measure of what is in and out of their league.
If you are going to keep aiming high all the time, you should be able to expect the fallout."
Everyone has a right to how they feel. What they don't have the right to is taking those feelings out on other people. |
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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago
Dublin |
"But does a 55 year old bloke have the right to be upset and angry because 22 year old women are not replying to him or turning him down regularly?
Everybody kind of has an intrinsic build in measure of what is in and out of their league.
If you are going to keep aiming high all the time, you should be able to expect the fallout."
Does a 23 year old bloke have a right to be upset and angry? Everyone is entitled to their own feelings but that doesn't make the entitled to express them either.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just sent best of luck to the last one I had. You don't fancy everyone you come across so you can't expect everyone to like you.
It's a preference, onto the next one |
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There may be some dissapointment but it doesn't really affect my life so I just move on.
I've had to turn people down because there's no attraction for me and they've mostly been understanding.
You either fancy someone or you don't, it's just the way life goes
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But does a 55 year old bloke have the right to be upset and angry because 22 year old women are not replying to him or turning him down regularly?
Everybody kind of has an intrinsic build in measure of what is in and out of their league.
If you are going to keep aiming
high all the time, you should be able to expect the fallout.
This question now has more depth than just how do you handle rejection…
Rejected = I may need change myself to fit other people's requirements.
Don't think so
I don’t think I would either.
Rejected = someone said no.
But the 55 year old is specific to an individual and an experience, not really a general question like the opening post. Don’t you think ? "
General question is does rejection bring you down and possibly make you think you might need to changes.
My reckoning is if people managed their expectations better they would bypass all the frustration and sadness. Which in turn leads to bitterness and abusive messages etc..
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There’s nothing you really can do - if you take it personal you’d be having a hard time on here!
It’s simply about finding someone with mutual attraction. Just like in person, off this site.
I always end my messages with - “if not for you, no worries at all! Happy fabbing”
Then they don’t have to reply - if they simply delete the message. I’ll block them as I know we aren’t compatible, so it saves a second message being sent in the future  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel."
I don’t feel sad, frustrated or do I think of ways to change myself… We are all attracted and seeking different things  |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
I'm polite, respectful & then go on to play the All American Rejects song "Move Along" at a very loud volume to get it out of my system.
The lyrics are:
"... When all you got to keep is strong,
Move along, move along like I know you do,
And even when your hope is gone,
Move along, move along just to make it through ...."  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd feel a bit sad, disappointed. I only message people I'd like to meet and unlike many on here I am a human being.
I find the ones who just 'move on and don't care', treat people like a meat conveyor.
The meat is only worthwhile if it will fuck. That's how they are able to move on to the next meat stick/ meat hole so easily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends who it is, usually I don’t care as I’ve got a lot of choice so it doesn’t matter.
If it’s someone I really fancy, it stings for 5 mins haha x but I’ll get over it fairly quickly to be honest ..
Sometimes tho a rejection in that sense, can lead into a nice friendship. And that is more valuable to me than another “shag” x
He knows who he is |
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"I'd feel a bit sad, disappointed. I only message people I'd like to meet and unlike many on here I am a human being.
I find the ones who just 'move on and don't care', treat people like a meat conveyor.
The meat is only worthwhile if it will fuck. That's how they are able to move on to the next meat stick/ meat hole so easily."
I’m also a human being.
People’s worth isn’t based on who they have sex with.
However I move on and don’t care. Why should I care that some randomer online doesn’t want to have sex with me.
I don’t treat people bad some of us just actually don’t let other people bother us. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"If I was turned down I'd probably write a sad, sad song about it while eating ice cream and crafting a voodoo doll - ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
•
Melí, I never knew that you could multi-task! "
It's the heartbroken woman superpower.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldn't bother me as I'm a fat, middle aged woman with health problems.
If I was constantly being turned down I would probably leave and stick to knitting. "
Alot to be said for knitting.. |
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"I'd feel a bit sad, disappointed. I only message people I'd like to meet and unlike many on here I am a human being.
I find the ones who just 'move on and don't care', treat people like a meat conveyor.
The meat is only worthwhile if it will fuck. That's how they are able to move on to the next meat stick/ meat hole so easily."
I feel that’s a little misleading. Especially for us guys.
We can move on so quickly because 99% of interactions result in rejection. Most messages don’t even get opened.
It’s not quite the same for us. We can’t grieve and get upset over ever rejection. We wouldn’t have time to live |
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"I'd feel a bit sad, disappointed. I only message people I'd like to meet and unlike many on here I am a human being.
I find the ones who just 'move on and don't care', treat people like a meat conveyor.
The meat is only worthwhile if it will fuck. That's how they are able to move on to the next meat stick/ meat hole so easily."
I send first messages. I send them because I've seen something in the profile that I respond to. I say hi, I make conversation, I explain what prompted me to message.
I get rejected more often than I get a positive response. I choose to respect their decision and move on, understanding that everyone has their preference and nobody appeals to everyone.
I don't think of the people I message as meat sticks and I don't think of the site as a conveyor, but I can't get upset that someone who knows so very little about me doesn't want to know me better. It's very far from being a personal rejection as they just don't know enough about me for it to be personal, so I choose not to take it personally and I can't bring myself to invest huge emotion in it.
If I've been chatting to someone for a while and we've built a friendship and then they reject me, then yes I'd be very disappointed, but someone I'm effectively sending unsolicited mail to? Nope, I'll just move on. |
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On a Tinder first date and prior to it we were getting on like a house on fire. Regular messages and joking about things.
However when I met her at a coffee shop I could tell she was disappointed. It was like I was meeting a completely different person. We had a chat but I knew (actually on both sides) we were not compatible. I don’t think my pictures gave a true reflection of what I really looked like.
So I deleted all pictures that I thought just captured my best features and took some more….honest ones  .
After that I never had any issues with dates.
So she rejected me as I obviously didn’t look like my pictures, but on the positive side it did allow me to learn from the experience. |
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There are many reasons why people get rejected, just try not to take it personally. It could be bad timing, too young/too old, too far away, if we all liked everything the same life would be very boring.
Just take it for what it is, a no from a complete stranger who knows nothing about you but that first interaction. |
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I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone who is not interested actually message back! So I’d be pretty grateful that they had taken the time to do so. Either ways fine though, if they’re not interested then it’s cool |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t massively influence if someone is going to like me or not, other than being polite and sending a photo. Rejections slide of my back, so I can focus my positive energy on those whose interest I have piqued. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I like my car and you may not. Doesn't mean its a bad car. However, how do you know unless you've driven it. I may let you drive it, I may not. "
But I don’t want to , I steady have 2 cars and a bike. Do you have a bus or a train ? No, I’m not interested then |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel."
Change.. I refuse to chop inches off of my cock for anyone.
Myself I Delete move on.
I focus my attention on those who include me rather than those who exclude..its a far better and more productive use of my time. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel."
If anyone here is offended by the words “no thank you “ they should not be swinging in the first place…. Period!!!!! |
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I accept it. I’m not entitled to anything from anyway and vice versa I don’t owe anyone anything.
It’s easy to take it personally but it’s not. Everyone is here for their own reasons. We meet some criteria and we don’t meet the criteria of closer to 95% IMHO.
Hope that they find what they are after and chill out |
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"When you message someone and they say no how would you react? Do you feel sad, frustrated, thinking about ways to change yourself?
Let's see what your answers are. Maybe we can help others understand how you might feel."
I’ve never had a no - just a delete.
When used to send messages, I had about a 1/20 hit rate, I would say. Possibly even less. Now I rarely send a message. Just here for forums, unless someone messages first. Don’t even respond to winks, as the hit rate of responses to winks was equally bad.
It’s a strange place Fab, but the forums are a good place to enjoy a connection with others.
M |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meh. I can't say it would bother me too much. I'd be a bit bummed if I really liked the person but I'd get over it quickly. But from purely appearance alone it's not really something that will have an impact on me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can't feel sad about being rejected by someone you don't know or have never met.
I hate when you think you have come up with a whitty articulate first message, and the recipient deletes without reading..
I always think that fucker owes me back that fifteen minutes."
I agree with the 1st part as essentially it's just a picture (often not even of someone's face) and a few words in a bio saying no thank you. For me that's a world of difference compared to say going on 3 dates with someone, you think it's going great and are really into them, only for them to decide against taking things further.
KJ |
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"It wouldn't bother me as I'm a fat, middle aged woman with health problems.
If I was constantly being turned down I would probably leave and stick to knitting.
Alot to be said for knitting.."
.
Yes. Quite. Hence why it's mentioned in my profile twice!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldn't bother me as I'm a fat, middle aged woman with health problems.
If I was constantly being turned down I would probably leave and stick to knitting.
Alot to be said for knitting..
.
Yes. Quite. Hence why it's mentioned in my profile twice! "
 I'd never noticed that Nero |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like my car and you may not. Doesn't mean its a bad car. However, how do you know unless you've driven it. I may let you drive it, I may not.
But I don’t want to , I steady have 2 cars and a bike. Do you have a bus or a train ? No, I’m not interested then "
Ahh but you don't know me. I do actually own a bus (ok minibus) and 2 bikes. And that's what it's all about. Getting to know people more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot to be said for knitting..
.
Yes. Quite. Hence why it's mentioned in my profile twice!
I'd never noticed that Nero
.
You were too busy ogling at my Embroidery? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel a bit sad, disappointed. I only message people I'd like to meet and unlike many on here I am a human being.
I find the ones who just 'move on and don't care', treat people like a meat conveyor.
The meat is only worthwhile if it will fuck. That's how they are able to move on to the next meat stick/ meat hole so easily.
I feel that’s a little misleading. Especially for us guys.
We can move on so quickly because 99% of interactions result in rejection. Most messages don’t even get opened.
It’s not quite the same for us. We can’t grieve and get upset over ever rejection. We wouldn’t have time to live "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel a bit sad, disappointed. I only message people I'd like to meet and unlike many on here I am a human being.
I find the ones who just 'move on and don't care', treat people like a meat conveyor.
The meat is only worthwhile if it will fuck. That's how they are able to move on to the next meat stick/ meat hole so easily.
I send first messages. I send them because I've seen something in the profile that I respond to. I say hi, I make conversation, I explain what prompted me to message.
I get rejected more often than I get a positive response. I choose to respect their decision and move on, understanding that everyone has their preference and nobody appeals to everyone.
I don't think of the people I message as meat sticks and I don't think of the site as a conveyor, but I can't get upset that someone who knows so very little about me doesn't want to know me better. It's very far from being a personal rejection as they just don't know enough about me for it to be personal, so I choose not to take it personally and I can't bring myself to invest huge emotion in it.
If I've been chatting to someone for a while and we've built a friendship and then they reject me, then yes I'd be very disappointed, but someone I'm effectively sending unsolicited mail to? Nope, I'll just move on."
Fair point |
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