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More red flags than a Chinese Military Parade

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Idioms, Similes and Metaphors.

Give us your best (bonus points if they relate to Fab life)...

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By *aomilatteCouple over a year ago

Midlands

Teeth like piano keys

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By *hil most chillMan over a year ago

South East & Europe

She bangs like a shithouse door

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By *aomilatteCouple over a year ago

Midlands

More rolls than Greggs

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By *eigh guyMan over a year ago

wigan

Sweating like Jimmy savile dressed as a lollipop man

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By *hil most chillMan over a year ago

South East & Europe

She (or he) has a face like a bag of smashed crabs.

And no, I have no idea where this originated

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tighter than a duck’s arse.

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By *.R.MMan over a year ago

Norfolk

They’re like a birdcage, they’ve had a cockatoo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thick as mince

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fanny like a hippo's yawn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Like a rat up a drainpipe

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By *ubwife4uCouple over a year ago

Kent

Mouth like a torn pocket.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fanny like a wizards sleeve

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

Well fuck my Aunt Kate.

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By *ollycouple71Couple over a year ago

manchester

Had more prick's than a dartboard x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Let's wait until the heavens open before we fuck outside."

Ok, the fuck part was added in to be related to fab.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

Why does one need to be on fire to get pissed on these days?

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By *eigh guyMan over a year ago

wigan

Ass like a Japanese flag

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

Drier than a nun’s cunt.

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

Fucking that was like chucking a banana up [insert place name] high street.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

Mad as a box of frogs

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

He [cocky twat] was like a dog with two dicks.

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

Craftier than a wagon load of monks.

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By *ubwife4uCouple over a year ago

Kent

About as welcome as a fart in a space suit.

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By *ollycouple71Couple over a year ago

manchester

"Drier than a nun’s cunt."
FFs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wetter then an otters pocket

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As daft as a bat/brush

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

Cock like a baby’s arm holding an apple!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sex with her was like opening the window and fucking the night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Flat out like a lizard drinking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As bright as a button

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By *ig_eric_tionMan over a year ago

IPSWICH

Face like a plasterers radio.

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By *inaryGuyMan over a year ago

Near the River

Wearing more gold than Pat Butcher in Eastenders

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You’ll get a rash just standing near them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Fanny like a hippo's yawn

Funny as fuck. Burst out laughing at this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In reference to a slow day at work, "it's dragging like a seals arse"

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By *ig_eric_tionMan over a year ago

IPSWICH

Banging like a barn door in the wind.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

As much loyalty as a team mate in squid game.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

She’s had more cocks than Clint Eastwoods gun

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By *ichaelangelaCouple over a year ago

notts

She’s like a taxi. Everyone been in her

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By *agerMorganMan over a year ago

Canvey Island

Face like a slapped arse.

Seen more helmets than Hitler

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By *immyinreadingMan over a year ago

henley on thames

Arse like a wizard’s sleeve

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By *immyinreadingMan over a year ago

henley on thames

Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Like throwing a sausage down an ally way

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tighter than a nuns chuff.

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By *uddy laneMan over a year ago

dudley

Honest as Boris.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its like a cock, only smaller.

Or Its not small, its far away!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been Rogered more than a coppers walkie talkie

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By *.R.MMan over a year ago

Norfolk

Piss like a camel

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By *.R.MMan over a year ago

Norfolk

A Fanny like a blown out fuse box

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fanny like a butchers bin

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

More brass than brains

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Looks like a badly packed kebab

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A cockerel says cock-a-doodle-doo, she says any-cock'll-doo.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sweating like a Nun in a cucumber field

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By *inkylipsWoman over a year ago

Debauchery

They’ve had more asses than a toilet seat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She has been shot over more times than Sarajevo.

I wouldn't ride her in to battle.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sweating like Josef Fritzl on an episode of MTV Cribs.

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By *aiseiMan over a year ago

Birmingham

She’s seen more cock than KFC

She’s got a fanny like a burst sofa

He/she has got a face like a dropped lasagne

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By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

Smoked more bone than a Texas pit master

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By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

"A Fanny like a blown out fuse box "

Looks like 2 ham sandwiches had a fight

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By *inecrestMan over a year ago

West Yorks

Like pouring water on a drowning man.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Banging away like a kango hammer.

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By *ark RumMan over a year ago

Bucks

Wetter than an otters pocket

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've read this top to bottom now

What stands out is how derisive many are towards women

You can tell men have thought them up and other men have propagated them

That's not a snipe at men, just that I think that many are just kind of tired analogies for this day and age

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By *ussD1Man over a year ago

Gloucester

A face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle

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By *erfectman122Man over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Fanny like a horses collar

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve never quite understood this but…

Pissed as a fart

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He or She...has a face like been chasing buses and catching them.

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By *quirell2015Man over a year ago

somewhere nearby

Taken more seaman than the Bermuda Triangle

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By *quirell2015Man over a year ago

somewhere nearby

Face like a slapped arse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fanny like a badly packed lasagne.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

If someone asks if they are a loud snorer… I normally say “louder than the 5th panzer division rolling thru Poland!!!”

Too much????

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

"If someone asks if they are a loud snorer… I normally say “louder than the 5th panzer division rolling thru Poland!!!”

Too much????

Goes down like a Stuka over Stalingrad…

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By *harlie38Man over a year ago

walsall

She's got nipples like a ships rivetts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She has flaps like a fighter jet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've read this top to bottom now

What stands out is how derisive many are towards women

You can tell men have thought them up and other men have propagated them

That's not a snipe at men, just that I think that many are just kind of tired analogies for this day and age"

I had similar thoughts

But I wasn't all that surprised

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

He’s all piss and wind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"More rolls than Greggs "

!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Face like a slate hangers nail bag

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Seen better looking ugly fruit.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

More chins than a Chinese phone book

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple over a year ago

Essex

"Fanny like a badly packed lasagne. "

Are you mixing metaphors? Who packs a lasagna?

I’ve heard both… “Like a badly packed kebab”, and “like a dropped lasagna”

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By *immyinreadingMan over a year ago

henley on thames

"Face like a slapped arse"

Face like a melted welly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've read this top to bottom now

What stands out is how derisive many are towards women

You can tell men have thought them up and other men have propagated them

That's not a snipe at men, just that I think that many are just kind of tired analogies for this day and age"

I was thinking this but didnt know how to elucidate!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A mind like the Snowdon railway. Single track and fithy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/11/21 09:50:38]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Def stealing this thread title for general use, a belter!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pubes like Fidel Castro's beard

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By *iman2100Man over a year ago

Glasgow

She has been down on everything except the Titanic.

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By *immyinreadingMan over a year ago

henley on thames

"I've read this top to bottom now

What stands out is how derisive many are towards women

You can tell men have thought them up and other men have propagated them

That's not a snipe at men, just that I think that many are just kind of tired analogies for this day and age

I had similar thoughts

But I wasn't all that surprised "

... more judges than Strictly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sugar puffs sticky sweet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Minge like a clowns pocket.

More fat than a butchers bin.

Build like a brick shit house.

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By *reepass4meCouple over a year ago

Cheltenham

It's an old one, but as Grandad used to say when events were roller-coaster:

Up and down like a bride's nightie.

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By *igBiGuy86Man over a year ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 15/11/21 11:01:30]

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By *igBiGuy86Man over a year ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 15/11/21 11:02:37]

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By *igBiGuy86Man over a year ago

Manchester

"Nipples like Scammell wheel nuts/JCB starter buttons"

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By *itnessAMan over a year ago

North Wales

As camp as a row of tents.

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By *itnessAMan over a year ago

North Wales

pinched from Black Adder:

'Up and down like a whore's drawers'

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By *apmyluvpumpMan over a year ago

Skipton

Teeth like dustbins, one in every yard

Her fanny was so hairy I though Dennis the menace had lost his dog.

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By *igBiGuy86Man over a year ago

Manchester

One I heard the other day: Her teeth are like a row of condemned council houses

I did that explosive kinda laugh when I heard it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sticking with teeth. I heard someone say this the other day:

He’s got teeth like wheelie bins, some yellow, some green and some missing

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By *ustdaveHantsMan over a year ago

chippenham

Piano teeth... One black one white

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Arse like a clowns pocket

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman over a year ago

Markfield

More toes than teeth

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

About as useful as a handbrake in a kayak

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

about taking your time wanking; "if you want to run a marathon, you wouldn't train to be a sprinter"

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By *ich_ChesterMan over a year ago

Chester

Sugar puff teeth

About as useful as a chocolate fireguard

Fanny like a dustbin

More chins than a chinese phonebook

Couldn't score in a brothel

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By *immyinreadingMan over a year ago

henley on thames

"Sticking with teeth. I heard someone say this the other day:

He’s got teeth like wheelie bins, some yellow, some green and some missing

Could eat an apple through a letterbox

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By *immyinreadingMan over a year ago

henley on thames

So unlucky, if he fell into a barrel full of tits, he’d come out sucking his thumb

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sweating like Fred West with Ground Force round

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple over a year ago

Nottingham

It was like waving a stick in a cave

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