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Married people
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm probably setting myself up for a load of stick so let me start by saying, I'm not having a dig as such, just curious.
Why do unhappily married people join these kind of sites looking for secret sex? Surely if your relationship is that bad, why dont they just split? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a child, no equity etc. Granted, he left me and his timing was absolutely shit but he clearly wasn't happy. I understand there are many factors but it just saddens me and proves to me unfortunately that most people cheat. Again, not having a go, just interested in finding out x |
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"maybe they want to get caught to make it easier.. and find it kinky lol"
As _iew says many reasons. 42 years together both near retirement who wants t start again pay double the bills we may as well share the house its big enough for both of us.. we still have dependents
so its not practical ..
who says we all come here looking for sex ??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? That is such a good point!  its a sex site!? Silly me for jumping to the wrong conclusion!"
A lot of people come on here just for the forums and chatrooms and may never have a meet, so it isn't JUST sex ...
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? That is such a good point! its a sex site!? Silly me for jumping to the wrong conclusion!
A lot of people come on here just for the forums and chatrooms and may never have a meet, so it isn't JUST sex ...
"
That is what I thought. Also sometimes people take time out from swinging but still stay in touch via the forums, other people cannot swing for medical reasons but still stay on here.. so I guess it means different things for different people. |
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"
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? That is such a good point! its a sex site!? Silly me for jumping to the wrong conclusion!
A lot of people come on here just for the forums and chatrooms and may never have a meet, so it isn't JUST sex ...
That is what I thought. Also sometimes people take time out from swinging but still stay in touch via the forums, other people cannot swing for medical reasons but still stay on here.. so I guess it means different things for different people. "
Indeed it does |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? That is such a good point! its a sex site!? Silly me for jumping to the wrong conclusion!"
it isnt a sex site its a swinging site theres a difference, swinging comes in all different forms. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I think we are veering off from the question I asked?"
I just had to go back to your OP and I chuckled because you are right, we have gone completely off topic lol. My apologies if I was part of this - it was not deliberate  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm probably setting myself up for a load of stick so let me start by saying, I'm not having a dig as such, just curious.
Why do unhappily married people join these kind of sites looking for secret sex? Surely if your relationship is that bad, why dont they just split?"
What View said right at the start. And a million different reasons why they don't/ can't split. |
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By *enithWoman
over a year ago
closer than you think |
"maybe they want to get caught to make it easier.. and find it kinky lol
As _iew says many reasons. 42 years together both near retirement who wants t start again pay double the bills we may as well share the house its big enough for both of us.. we still have dependents
so its not practical ..
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? "
so this is a suitable arrangement for both parties then ie is your husband/partner aware you are on this site? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm probably setting myself up for a load of stick so let me start by saying, I'm not having a dig as such, just curious.
Why do unhappily married people join these kind of sites looking for secret sex? Surely if your relationship is that bad, why dont they just split?
What View said right at the start. And a million different reasons why they don't/ can't split."
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By *weetdebWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
Nope,,,completely disagree,,,whilst i can see what VIEW is saying then after 2 years on the site then i find that most of the married guys on here are simply cheats,no rhyme or reason but just looking for a fuck and assume a swinging site is a quick way to get one...hahaha,,,how wrong they are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see that some people have deep feelings for their husbands/wives on here but need something their partner can't provide so need to swing to get it. I don't agree with it and wouldn't want to get involved. BUT what really infuriates me is when you get a couple on here and for one reason or another the wife decides you don't fit her profile but then you get approached by the husband on a secret single male profile. You'd think they'd be satisfied that they had a beautiful woman as a partner who was willing to let them swing!!! But then to go out and cheat as well is disgusting!! No excuses just greedy and unnappreciative!
R x |
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"
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? That is such a good point! its a sex site!? Silly me for jumping to the wrong conclusion!
it isnt a sex site its a swinging site theres a difference, swinging comes in all different forms."
Too many people think this is a sex site ..its not as you say its a swinging site its a lifestyle with as much on the social as the sexual.
Thats what annoys us people including married men come on here because they thinks its easy but alot wouldn't have a clue what swinging is about really..
I think married people should TALK and openly TALK I think they would be supprised how many wives that they leave at home while they meet people on here for sex would turn into the person they would like her to be in the bedroom if only they talked to her about it and included her !! A lot of woman don't go off sex as with everything there comes a point where life just gets in the way and it seems that alot of men rather than approaching the subject find it easier to go behind their backs .. very very sad indeed.
Yes i was suprised how many do it to be honest as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm probably setting myself up for a load of stick so let me start by saying, I'm not having a dig as such, just curious.
Why do unhappily married people join these kind of sites looking for secret sex? Surely if your relationship is that bad, why dont they just split?"
Not everyone on here are unhappy in their marrage
Some people just want their cakes and eat it
Ive had loads of mail from guys who claim to love their wife and be happy in their marrage but just love the buzz of sex with strangers
Married people are on here for different reasons not all of them are here because they are in a unhappy marrage or cause they not getting it at home
I have guys from couples i have met together ask me to meet them behind their wifes back.....go figure that one, they are in a marrage where their wife lets them have sex with other women yet they still want to meet behind her back  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? That is such a good point! its a sex site!? Silly me for jumping to the wrong conclusion!
A lot of people come on here just for the forums and chatrooms and may never have a meet, so it isn't JUST sex ...
"
 |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I swing a bit on this one (pardon the pun). I would not knowingly meet a married guy to play - but I would not judge anybody for doing so. At the end of the day it is their business and does not affect me.
I really do wonder how fair it is to expect one person alone to meet all our needs in life? It is not prescriptive, of course not... it is a question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? That is such a good point! its a sex site!? Silly me for jumping to the wrong conclusion!
it isnt a sex site its a swinging site theres a difference, swinging comes in all different forms.
Too many people think this is a sex site ..its not as you say its a swinging site its a lifestyle with as much on the social as the sexual.
Thats what annoys us people including married men come on here because they thinks its easy but alot wouldn't have a clue what swinging is about really..
I think married people should TALK and openly TALK I think they would be supprised how many wives that they leave at home while they meet people on here for sex would turn into the person they would like her to be in the bedroom if only they talked to her about it and included her !! A lot of woman don't go off sex as with everything there comes a point where life just gets in the way and it seems that alot of men rather than approaching the subject find it easier to go behind their backs .. very very sad indeed.
Yes i was suprised how many do it to be honest as well. "
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"maybe they want to get caught to make it easier.. and find it kinky lol
As _iew says many reasons. 42 years together both near retirement who wants t start again pay double the bills we may as well share the house its big enough for both of us.. we still have dependents
so its not practical ..
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? "
Are you on here looking to exchange recipes then ? Because we always thought the whole idea of swinging was sex at the end of the day ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well i can only comment on my situation and you can make your mind up. but my reason is the age old "i'm not getting it at home" i have had many discussions with my wife who i care about. we have set nights free for sex but everything i/we have tried has petered out to nothing. so what do i do? keep talking getting nowhere and end up feeling upset/frustrated and having an atmosphere at home.? Do i split up(yes i have thought of it) cause untold upset with my wife,son and extended family in the "hope" i find someone who has a similar sexual outlook,Or do i come on a site like this for meetings with like minded adults for the odd sexual liaison and keep my family together? Yes i know it is selfish of me and i am here for myself.i could do the "right" thing and do nothing like a lot of people, but i have one life and sooner or later my time will come and i want to look back to a happy time not one of resentment, missed opportunity and where i spent it wondering what if. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"well i can only comment on my situation and you can make your mind up. but my reason is the age old "i'm not getting it at home" i have had many discussions with my wife who i care about. we have set nights free for sex but everything i/we have tried has petered out to nothing. so what do i do? keep talking getting nowhere and end up feeling upset/frustrated and having an atmosphere at home.? Do i split up(yes i have thought of it) cause untold upset with my wife,son and extended family in the "hope" i find someone who has a similar sexual outlook,Or do i come on a site like this for meetings with like minded adults for the odd sexual liaison and keep my family together? Yes i know it is selfish of me and i am here for myself.i could do the "right" thing and do nothing like a lot of people, but i have one life and sooner or later my time will come and i want to look back to a happy time not one of resentment, missed opportunity and where i spent it wondering what if. "
I can empathise with you and would not dream of judging you at all. My choice not to meet married people is more about not wanting to be at the receiving end of a phone call from an upset wife who found out?
I am going back to my question of how fair it is to expect one person to meet all one's needs... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you on here looking to exchange recipes then ? Because we always thought the whole idea of swinging was sex at the end of the day ? "
To me, this is just plain rude. Not every person on here actually does want the result to be sex. These days swinging is much more than chucking ur keys in the fruit bowl n hoping for the best - as it would of once been seen to be. With other medias, fetishes etc, it is all about each to their own and actually being acceptable to be yourself!! |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
" These days swinging is much more than chucking ur keys in the fruit bowl n hoping for the best - as it would of once been seen to be. With other medias, fetishes etc, it is all about each to their own and actually being acceptable to be yourself!! "
That is a really good point about swinging having evolved! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not everyone on here who is married and playing as a single are unhappy in their marriage. Im not.
My wife has had socials with me, visited clubs, then decided its not what she wants to do at present. However she is happy for me to go and play alone.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i understand people not wanting to meet attached people due to their own morals/ experiences and as a rule if they say they dont meet my type i respect them and dont message them. To your question.Some people are incredibly lucky and meet their soul mate who are compatible in so many ways, there are also greedy folks who just try and take what they can get no matter what their sex life is at home and then there are people who just want a little extra a sugar coating to their doughnut of life, if you will |
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"Are you on here looking to exchange recipes then ? Because we always thought the whole idea of swinging was sex at the end of the day ?
To me, this is just plain rude. Not every person on here actually does want the result to be sex. These days swinging is much more than chucking ur keys in the fruit bowl n hoping for the best - as it would of once been seen to be. With other medias, fetishes etc, it is all about each to their own and actually being acceptable to be yourself!! "
Who said anything about keys in a bowl ?
Swinging is about sex no matter what you try to say,therefore people joining a swinging site on the whole are looking for sex...would you join a train spotters web site to talk about swinging ?
Next thing you'll be arranging mothers coffee afternoons on dating.Why would you even join a swingers website if you had no interest in the sex other than talking on forums ?
Have heard some rubbish on here but seriously ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well i can only comment on my situation and you can make your mind up. but my reason is the age old "i'm not getting it at home" i have had many discussions with my wife who i care about. we have set nights free for sex but everything i/we have tried has petered out to nothing. so what do i do? keep talking getting nowhere and end up feeling upset/frustrated and having an atmosphere at home.? Do i split up(yes i have thought of it) cause untold upset with my wife,son and extended family in the "hope" i find someone who has a similar sexual outlook,Or do i come on a site like this for meetings with like minded adults for the odd sexual liaison and keep my family together? Yes i know it is selfish of me and i am here for myself.i could do the "right" thing and do nothing like a lot of people, but i have one life and sooner or later my time will come and i want to look back to a happy time not one of resentment, missed opportunity and where i spent it wondering what if. "
I am not here to judge anyone. I can say though, from my point of _iew - I would rather know, and either choose to turn my head or to be in someway part of it too, although I do respect that not everyone is of the same _iew and the possibility of ruining lives by the mear mention. It is a very personal situation. When single I was regularly meeting an AMAZING guy. Local, ticked all my boxes n I loved every second with him. He came to me one afternoon for a cuppa n to tell me his wife n him were getting bk together (they split months before we met) - I chose not to see him anymore. He is still active on the site and I respect him for being honest with me to allow an informed decision. Anyways, each to their own. Who are we to judge. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Are you on here looking to exchange recipes then ? Because we always thought the whole idea of swinging was sex at the end of the day ?
To me, this is just plain rude. Not every person on here actually does want the result to be sex. These days swinging is much more than chucking ur keys in the fruit bowl n hoping for the best - as it would of once been seen to be. With other medias, fetishes etc, it is all about each to their own and actually being acceptable to be yourself!!
Who said anything about keys in a bowl ?
Swinging is about sex no matter what you try to say,therefore people joining a swinging site on the whole are looking for sex...would you join a train spotters web site to talk about swinging ?
Next thing you'll be arranging mothers coffee afternoons on dating.Why would you even join a swingers website if you had no interest in the sex other than talking on forums ?
Have heard some rubbish on here but seriously ?"
Actually there was a suggestion a few days ago about doing a Macmillan Coffee Morning and proceeds going to charity - no joke! The site allows people to take what they want from it - I dont have a problem with some people just using it for sex - neither do I see it as a problem that some want the social side. Horses... and stuff? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you on here looking to exchange recipes then ? Because we always thought the whole idea of swinging was sex at the end of the day ?
To me, this is just plain rude. Not every person on here actually does want the result to be sex. These days swinging is much more than chucking ur keys in the fruit bowl n hoping for the best - as it would of once been seen to be. With other medias, fetishes etc, it is all about each to their own and actually being acceptable to be yourself!!
Who said anything about keys in a bowl ?
Swinging is about sex no matter what you try to say,therefore people joining a swinging site on the whole are looking for sex...would you join a train spotters web site to talk about swinging ?
Next thing you'll be arranging mothers coffee afternoons on dating.Why would you even join a swingers website if you had no interest in the sex other than talking on forums ?
Have heard some rubbish on here but seriously ?"
I was not saying it is my perception is only to chat and not meet lol. I have had loads of experiences on this and another site over the years, and CHOOSE now to take the aspects of it I ENJOY and make it all about what I WANT to experience. Yes, in my teenage years the common concept of swinging/swingers were older, seedy, dirty etc etc. Possibly as ppl preach whilst growing up about love, one partner, being faithful etc etc - not safe sex with strangers etc etc for kicks lol. Its all fun fun fun. Your very funny tho - getting all on yer high horse  |
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"Are you on here looking to exchange recipes then ? Because we always thought the whole idea of swinging was sex at the end of the day ?
To me, this is just plain rude. Not every person on here actually does want the result to be sex. These days swinging is much more than chucking ur keys in the fruit bowl n hoping for the best - as it would of once been seen to be. With other medias, fetishes etc, it is all about each to their own and actually being acceptable to be yourself!!
Who said anything about keys in a bowl ?
Swinging is about sex no matter what you try to say,therefore people joining a swinging site on the whole are looking for sex...would you join a train spotters web site to talk about swinging ?
Next thing you'll be arranging mothers coffee afternoons on dating.Why would you even join a swingers website if you had no interest in the sex other than talking on forums ?
Have heard some rubbish on here but seriously ?
Actually there was a suggestion a few days ago about doing a Macmillan Coffee Morning and proceeds going to charity - no joke! The site allows people to take what they want from it - I dont have a problem with some people just using it for sex - neither do I see it as a problem that some want the social side. Horses... and stuff? "
Everybody likes the social side because without that how would people meet ? But thats the whole trouble with swinging now compared to 10-15 years ago,you see it in clubs all the time.
But no matter what diversity you take swinging too it boils down to sex in one way or another..
We'd never think about joining a swinging site if we were not swingers and why would you ? |
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"Are you on here looking to exchange recipes then ? Because we always thought the whole idea of swinging was sex at the end of the day ?
To me, this is just plain rude. Not every person on here actually does want the result to be sex. These days swinging is much more than chucking ur keys in the fruit bowl n hoping for the best - as it would of once been seen to be. With other medias, fetishes etc, it is all about each to their own and actually being acceptable to be yourself!!
Who said anything about keys in a bowl ?
Swinging is about sex no matter what you try to say,therefore people joining a swinging site on the whole are looking for sex...would you join a train spotters web site to talk about swinging ?
Next thing you'll be arranging mothers coffee afternoons on dating.Why would you even join a swingers website if you had no interest in the sex other than talking on forums ?
Have heard some rubbish on here but seriously ?
I was not saying it is my perception is only to chat and not meet lol. I have had loads of experiences on this and another site over the years, and CHOOSE now to take the aspects of it I ENJOY and make it all about what I WANT to experience. Yes, in my teenage years the common concept of swinging/swingers were older, seedy, dirty etc etc. Possibly as ppl preach whilst growing up about love, one partner, being faithful etc etc - not safe sex with strangers etc etc for kicks lol. Its all fun fun fun. Your very funny tho - getting all on yer high horse "
No just found your comment funny about people not coming on a swingers site looking for sex,and just wondered what other reason you'd join a site like this for ? Ask all the single guys why they are on here i bet the answer would be conclusive .. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Are you on here looking to exchange recipes then ? Because we always thought the whole idea of swinging was sex at the end of the day ?
To me, this is just plain rude. Not every person on here actually does want the result to be sex. These days swinging is much more than chucking ur keys in the fruit bowl n hoping for the best - as it would of once been seen to be. With other medias, fetishes etc, it is all about each to their own and actually being acceptable to be yourself!!
Who said anything about keys in a bowl ?
Swinging is about sex no matter what you try to say,therefore people joining a swinging site on the whole are looking for sex...would you join a train spotters web site to talk about swinging ?
Next thing you'll be arranging mothers coffee afternoons on dating.Why would you even join a swingers website if you had no interest in the sex other than talking on forums ?
Have heard some rubbish on here but seriously ?
Actually there was a suggestion a few days ago about doing a Macmillan Coffee Morning and proceeds going to charity - no joke! The site allows people to take what they want from it - I dont have a problem with some people just using it for sex - neither do I see it as a problem that some want the social side. Horses... and stuff?
Everybody likes the social side because without that how would people meet ? But thats the whole trouble with swinging now compared to 10-15 years ago,you see it in clubs all the time.
But no matter what diversity you take swinging too it boils down to sex in one way or another..
We'd never think about joining a swinging site if we were not swingers and why would you ? "
I am not sure even that everybody likes the social side as I have come across people who really barely want to know your name as they only want to engage in sex as quickly as possible, usually as a one off. Now... nothing wrong with that but would not be for me.
I agree with you that unless i was interested in sex (participating, watching/ discussing/ camming etc) I would not be joining a site like this - having said that some are just happy to cam or chat?
I really dont have a problem with your stance - neither would it be my place to object to somebody who purely wishes to engage in cyber sex (texts, phone calls, emails) or somebody who wants to talk about sex to other like minded people.
I believe the great thing on fabs is that it offers all that and therefore caters for all of us - thats all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone assumes that it's only married men looking for NSA sex without their partners knowledge or consent. Women are just as capable of it....but tend to be excused of any blame because it must be the husbands fault. |
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" Ask all the single guys why they are on here i bet the answer would be conclusive ..
But the thread is about "married people".... "
Yeah but prob 80 percent of the so called single guys on here are married or have partners .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok, take me. I have a partner. Met on here - he only cammed as a good laugh. Met one chick for a social as they had similar likes in life. When we met, he came to mine for the weekend as friends. That all grew within a few weeks and we started seeing each other. He was not looking for sex on this site. He liked to perv. He deleted that profile, got a new one so he can perv n chat in his own leisure but made it clear it was all he was doing. I meet ladies and bi fem couples, he is not involved but knows all about it. If I desire him there to feel safe, he is. But that is it. I am 27. He is a stunning light skinned boootiful cocked just pure mmmm Jamaican 26yr old. He has no interest in sharing me, even if it is with a red hot, tight bodied 18yr old lol. Go figure lol. Again - each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
who says we all come here looking for sex ?? That is such a good point! its a sex site!? Silly me for jumping to the wrong conclusion!
it isnt a sex site its a swinging site theres a difference, swinging comes in all different forms.
Too many people think this is a sex site ..its not as you say its a swinging site its a lifestyle with as much on the social as the sexual.
Thats what annoys us people including married men come on here because they thinks its easy but alot wouldn't have a clue what swinging is about really..
I think married people should TALK and openly TALK I think they would be supprised how many wives that they leave at home while they meet people on here for sex would turn into the person they would like her to be in the bedroom if only they talked to her about it and included her !! A lot of woman don't go off sex as with everything there comes a point where life just gets in the way and it seems that alot of men rather than approaching the subject find it easier to go behind their backs .. very very sad indeed.
Yes i was suprised how many do it to be honest as well.
"
If only my ex had talk to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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May sound silly to a lot of folk on here but I've been married 27 yrs and I do love my wife ,I have a high sex drive hers is very low, we've 2 grown up kids a nice house an both got good jobs.
Were just not a match in the bedroom , we did split once but soon got back togeather , if she left me I'd be heartbroken but I can't live my life only having sex once every 6mths ( if I'm lucky lol ), so for the past 10yrs I've had a FB , it works for me and the FB and the wife.
Lifes not always that simple  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"May sound silly to a lot of folk on here but I've been married 27 yrs and I do love my wife ,I have a high sex drive hers is very low, we've 2 grown up kids a nice house an both got good jobs.
Were just not a match in the bedroom , we did split once but soon got back togeather , if she left me I'd be heartbroken but I can't live my life only having sex once every 6mths ( if I'm lucky lol ), so for the past 10yrs I've had a FB , it works for me and the FB and the wife.
Lifes not always that simple "
Does your wife know this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"May sound silly to a lot of folk on here but I've been married 27 yrs and I do love my wife ,I have a high sex drive hers is very low, we've 2 grown up kids a nice house an both got good jobs.
Were just not a match in the bedroom , we did split once but soon got back togeather , if she left me I'd be heartbroken but I can't live my life only having sex once every 6mths ( if I'm lucky lol ), so for the past 10yrs I've had a FB , it works for me and the FB and the wife.
Lifes not always that simple Does your wife know this?"
Yes, as long as I don't bring it home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe to try things that the wife does not want to do or try things that should have been got out of the way before getting married but were too shy/naive to try. |
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first off i'm not married i have nothing against marriage but its just not for me, but every one is different, in different situations with different factors to work around,
i think doing some thing behind someones back is wrong, but again things are not always as cut and dry as most people like myself would like to think, because its easy for me and other single people to pass judgment on a situation of some body else's from the outside looking in with all our so called morals in tact, but to be in them situations living them day to day ?? hmm i'm not sure i or allot of people could live to the high standards we judge others with so easily if we were dropped into similar circumstances.
I think some times we just need to stop and think about what others might be going thru and not judge others so easily from the other side of a keyboard from miles and miles away on situation we have very little insight on |
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