FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What am I doing wrong?
What am I doing wrong?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm afraid it's the usual advice:
You need some more, and better pictures - nothing ridiculous, but once that are less anatomical maybe
You need more personality on your profile text, not just a tick list of a few things you want/like
Looking for women but having 1 verification by a man looks odd - nothing wrong with that, it's just incongruous/ambiguous
Other than that, get on the forum (more), get involved with some of the threads where people message each other on themes, get to a club if that's your thing and get a few social verifications, update your status regularly with fun stuff, especially if you are messaging people and, you're expecting them to check you out before replying, and finally the bit we can't see, make sure you tailor you messages to people clearly so they don't think it's a cut and paste, be super non pushy (no follow ups) and have patience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
(sorry about the typos) also you can't accommodate, red flag to many (you don't need to answer here but maybe let people know why at least in a message if you can't put it on your profile), |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm afraid it's the usual advice:
You need some more, and better pictures - nothing ridiculous, but once that are less anatomical maybe
You need more personality on your profile text, not just a tick list of a few things you want/like
Looking for women but having 1 verification by a man looks odd - nothing wrong with that, it's just incongruous/ambiguous
Other than that, get on the forum (more), get involved with some of the threads where people message each other on themes, get to a club if that's your thing and get a few social verifications, update your status regularly with fun stuff, especially if you are messaging people and, you're expecting them to check you out before replying, and finally the bit we can't see, make sure you tailor you messages to people clearly so they don't think it's a cut and paste, be super non pushy (no follow ups) and have patience."
All of this. Your profile basically tells me nothing that distinguishes you from 100s of other guys on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Worth noting you're not necessarily doing anything wrong. This is the experience of the bulk of single guys on here. There are LOTS of us, just do a quick search for men your age in your area and see how many people within 5 miles are fitter, funnier, sexier, taller or whatever than you feel you are, and most of them won't be getting anything either. You have to stand out, or have lower standards - do the former! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Putting done time and thought into your profile text and photos goes a long way
If people aren't clear on what you're seeking and what you can offer, they're inevitably going to be less likely to respond |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks. Hard to know what to say. I just want to be honest I bet loads of blokes lie on there profile just to get responses but that’s not me. "
Say what you think is relevant, interesting, appealing and true. Nobody knows you better than you do so it's up to you to 'sell' yourself. There doesn't have to be something terribly wrong for you not to get the response you'd like. Guys vastly outnumber females/couples here so the more effort you put in to your profile, the more chance you have of appealing to someone. Taking part in the discussion forums also helps - you know just like how you meet and get to know people in real life... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hello O.P.
There are NO ropes.
You can put in all the effort you want but STILL you will think that nothing comes your way.
When you've taken the advice from others on this thread ( and you should ) don't think sex will come flooding your way.
For single men, patience is paramount.
There is no key to getting sex and everyone and anyone man or woman need to show themselves at their best.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Fair one. I’ve not met anyone so hard to get verification. That was the best I can do lol.
Also can’t accommodate as I have kids but I didn’t say that on my profile and I can see how that would look |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm afraid it's the usual advice:
You need some more, and better pictures - nothing ridiculous, but once that are less anatomical maybe
You need more personality on your profile text, not just a tick list of a few things you want/like
Looking for women but having 1 verification by a man looks odd - nothing wrong with that, it's just incongruous/ambiguous
Other than that, get on the forum (more), get involved with some of the threads where people message each other on themes, get to a club if that's your thing and get a few social verifications, update your status regularly with fun stuff, especially if you are messaging people and, you're expecting them to check you out before replying, and finally the bit we can't see, make sure you tailor you messages to people clearly so they don't think it's a cut and paste, be super non pushy (no follow ups) and have patience."
This is it in a nutshell. 
Being unique on this site is the key, plenty of guys with similar profiles as yours Op. So you have to stand out some how or be just another guy on the site.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
We replied to a different forum thread about this and explained why 99% of the messages we get won't get a meet. It's not that we (or other couples or girls) are too fussy or mean, and it's not that you guys are doing anything wrong. It's simply numbers:
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1228738#message_29579119
(Bry( |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yeah I assume the volume of men on here is crazy. Most probably don’t tell the truth either lol. I’ll keep plugging away and I’ll update my profile abit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
It’s trying to stand out but being honest lol. Not easy.
Like I said I’m just a normal guy, average body, clean, good job, respectful, polite and a high sex drive lol
Would get more responses if I said 6 pack and 12 inch cock but why lie and see there horror when it’s actually 13 inches lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Make your messages relevant, pick out thinging from their profile or status to show you are messaging them personally and not just using a scatter gun approach.
Age range 18-99 suggests you will meet anyone, we are all on here to meet people so try to customise as much of your profile as you can so you standout |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s trying to stand out but being honest lol. Not easy.
Like I said I’m just a normal guy, average body, clean, good job, respectful, polite and a high sex drive lol
Would get more responses if I said 6 pack and 12 inch cock but why lie and see there horror when it’s actually 13 inches lol"
Are you wearing flip flops?! 
Get to some social events. See the Meets forum section.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Make your messages relevant, pick out thinging from their profile or status to show you are messaging them personally and not just using a scatter gun approach.
Age range 18-99 suggests you will meet anyone, we are all on here to meet people so try to customise as much of your profile as you can so you standout "
And never go for nicknames that are sexual acts..... women hate that.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s trying to stand out but being honest lol. Not easy.
Like I said I’m just a normal guy, average body, clean, good job, respectful, polite and a high sex drive lol
Would get more responses if I said 6 pack and 12 inch cock but why lie and see there horror when it’s actually 13 inches lol"
 well you can add sense of humour to the list, that was pretty good. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s trying to stand out but being honest lol. Not easy.
Like I said I’m just a normal guy, average body, clean, good job, respectful, polite and a high sex drive lol
Would get more responses if I said 6 pack and 12 inch cock but why lie and see there horror when it’s actually 13 inches lol
Are you wearing flip flops?!
Get to some social events. See the Meets forum section. "
To be fair, it's better than the other pictures were!
OP, try using your phones timer so you can take a picture without you holding the phone in it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Lol thanks.
I think if you need to tell people you have a good sense of humour it means you probably don’t so I don’t really know what to put on my profile |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Lol thanks.
I think if you need to tell people you have a good sense of humour it means you probably don’t so I don’t really know what to put on my profile "
Haha I meant crack some jokes in your profile. I always enjoy a profile that makes me laugh. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s wrong with flip flops ??
If you bend me over the sofa to give me a right good fucking your feet will slip. No traction.  "
This too many times, you’d think I’d have learned my lesson by now  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be fair I don’t have a type or have unrealistic standards. I just want to meet a wide range of ladies, chat, have a laugh and see what happens "
Stick around the forums.
P.s. Crocs with socks make my minge drip.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated. "
Not sure you have read the many thousands of furum posts asking the samequestion, try that first.
Also you joined in a world wide pandemic, many people arent meeting, its only been 2 months.
Men out number women by a huge amount, the chances of something happening are slim at best on here.
Many people think that swinging is about couples swopping, you arent a couple.
You dont accom, why not, do you have a wife at home?
Dont really understand what you expected tbh |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated.
Not sure you have read the many thousands of furum posts asking the samequestion, try that first.
Also you joined in a world wide pandemic, many people arent meeting, its only been 2 months.
Men out number women by a huge amount, the chances of something happening are slim at best on here.
Many people think that swinging is about couples swopping, you arent a couple.
You dont accom, why not, do you have a wife at home?
Dont really understand what you expected tbh"
If you read his profile it explains why he won't accommodate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To be fair I don’t have a type or have unrealistic standards. I just want to meet a wide range of ladies, chat, have a laugh and see what happens "
Maybe go to a few fab socials or try a club, dating sites are generally for quick nsa sex, fab is more for lots of other things including kinks, maybe put on your profile your kink likes and dislikes to find compatible ladies |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Lol yeah, no matter how hard I tried I’m still fugly lol
If you use the Reply + quote button we know who you are replying to. "
See, still learning lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated.
Not sure you have read the many thousands of furum posts asking the samequestion, try that first.
Also you joined in a world wide pandemic, many people arent meeting, its only been 2 months.
Men out number women by a huge amount, the chances of something happening are slim at best on here.
Many people think that swinging is about couples swopping, you arent a couple.
You dont accom, why not, do you have a wife at home?
Dont really understand what you expected tbh
If you read his profile it explains why he won't accommodate. "
hes changed it since we first read his profile, and we like the explanation hes put, still not sure we would believe it tho |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated.
Not sure you have read the many thousands of furum posts asking the samequestion, try that first.
Also you joined in a world wide pandemic, many people arent meeting, its only been 2 months.
Men out number women by a huge amount, the chances of something happening are slim at best on here.
Many people think that swinging is about couples swopping, you arent a couple.
You dont accom, why not, do you have a wife at home?
Dont really understand what you expected tbh
If you read his profile it explains why he won't accommodate.
hes changed it since we first read his profile, and we like the explanation hes put, still not sure we would believe it tho"
You don't believe a man can have children? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *1c4yMan
over a year ago
stourbridge |
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated. "
If you can afford it there's Adult works. Some women that won't message you off here are on adult works will reply if you contact them from there. If you can't afford it try PoF as the ratio is better more women will message back. Here is good for the forums and banter for single guys unless you are in the club scene. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There is no one answer. For me add a few more photos. Explain what you looking for and what you like. Maybe get yourself to a social "
Good idea. Thanks man |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rx1Couple
over a year ago
North of Okehampton, South of Bideford |
OP you are not doing anything wrong. We have noticed that quite a few are not meeting many at the moment possibly due to covid.
If you look at "meet" section hardly any couples in the SW are advertising looking for meets.
Don't take it all to heart, if you don't get replies, it happens to couples too. We sent out 10 messages last week to people on our Hotlist.
All were read only 2 replied...sign of the times, we are afraid.
Hang in there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP you are not doing anything wrong. We have noticed that quite a few are not meeting many at the moment possibly due to covid.
If you look at "meet" section hardly any couples in the SW are advertising looking for meets.
Don't take it all to heart, if you don't get replies, it happens to couples too. We sent out 10 messages last week to people on our Hotlist.
All were read only 2 replied...sign of the times, we are afraid.
Hang in there."
Thanks for that. Good to know I’m not alone. I’ve made some adjustments to my profile following some advice on this thread so fingers crossed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP you are not doing anything wrong. We have noticed that quite a few are not meeting many at the moment possibly due to covid.
If you look at "meet" section hardly any couples in the SW are advertising looking for meets.
Don't take it all to heart, if you don't get replies, it happens to couples too. We sent out 10 messages last week to people on our Hotlist.
All were read only 2 replied...sign of the times, we are afraid.
Hang in there.
Thanks for that. Good to know I’m not alone. I’ve made some adjustments to my profile following some advice on this thread so fingers crossed."
You chopped your feet off.
Good luck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be fair I don’t have a type or have unrealistic standards. I just want to meet a wide range of ladies, chat, have a laugh and see what happens "
This comes across in your profile. You'll have plenty of people trekking you it's a numbers game but that isn't the biggest part of the story. This site is full of people (mostly men) who see it as a way of getting a shag and it doesn't really matter who from.
You may not have a physical type (I don't particularly) but surely you have a personality type? If you really don't care then the implication is that as far as you're concerned the person around the hole is irrelevant so long as the hole is wet. By far the majority of messages we ignore come across like this and it's a massive turn off.
You may feel that you're reducing your chances by specifying certain looks/personalities but for every few people who are put off by such preferences there will be one who reads your description and feels a little bit special because they've found someone who actually prefers people like them.
Also, confidence is a massive factor, someone who doesn't even have the confidence to say what they like and goes with the whole "I don't really mind" approach will put many off.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To be fair I don’t have a type or have unrealistic standards. I just want to meet a wide range of ladies, chat, have a laugh and see what happens
This comes across in your profile. You'll have plenty of people trekking you it's a numbers game but that isn't the biggest part of the story. This site is full of people (mostly men) who see it as a way of getting a shag and it doesn't really matter who from.
You may not have a physical type (I don't particularly) but surely you have a personality type? If you really don't care then the implication is that as far as you're concerned the person around the hole is irrelevant so long as the hole is wet. By far the majority of messages we ignore come across like this and it's a massive turn off.
You may feel that you're reducing your chances by specifying certain looks/personalities but for every few people who are put off by such preferences there will be one who reads your description and feels a little bit special because they've found someone who actually prefers people like them.
Also, confidence is a massive factor, someone who doesn't even have the confidence to say what they like and goes with the whole "I don't really mind" approach will put many off.
Mr"
Thanks for the help. I’m a confident guy but don’t want to come across as arrogant. I guess I’m trying to please everyone which won’t work so that’s a useful bit of advice. I genuinely want to meet/chat to all types of people but I’ll be abit more selective |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated.
Not sure you have read the many thousands of furum posts asking the samequestion, try that first.
Also you joined in a world wide pandemic, many people arent meeting, its only been 2 months.
Men out number women by a huge amount, the chances of something happening are slim at best on here.
Many people think that swinging is about couples swopping, you arent a couple.
You dont accom, why not, do you have a wife at home?
Dont really understand what you expected tbh
If you read his profile it explains why he won't accommodate.
hes changed it since we first read his profile, and we like the explanation hes put, still not sure we would believe it tho
You don't believe a man can have children? "
wow arent you a ray of sunshine  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated. "
Just stop been polite and respectful!!?
See how that works out !!!
If it does let me know cause it hasn’t worked for me yet ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
This is all good advice, the only issue with it is that it’s the same advice given to every guy that asks and there are a lot of them.
It means that every guy ends up with a generic profile, being polite and respectful, following ‘the rules’ but they don’t really know why.
I didn’t get advice, I found what works best for me by working things out, how to take good pictures, how best to approach, what to put on my profile, etc.
Work things out for yourself, OP.
It takes time, yes. There are no tricks or corners you can cut because these are really people, not a game to win. People need to trust and believe that you are what you’re saying, that will never happen if it’s someone else’s words in your mouth |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated.
Not sure you have read the many thousands of furum posts asking the samequestion, try that first.
Also you joined in a world wide pandemic, many people arent meeting, its only been 2 months.
Men out number women by a huge amount, the chances of something happening are slim at best on here.
Many people think that swinging is about couples swopping, you arent a couple.
You dont accom, why not, do you have a wife at home?
Dont really understand what you expected tbh
If you read his profile it explains why he won't accommodate.
hes changed it since we first read his profile, and we like the explanation hes put, still not sure we would believe it tho
You don't believe a man can have children?
wow arent you a ray of sunshine "
Because she asked a question? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is all good advice, the only issue with it is that it’s the same advice given to every guy that asks and there are a lot of them.
It means that every guy ends up with a generic profile, being polite and respectful, following ‘the rules’ but they don’t really know why.
I didn’t get advice, I found what works best for me by working things out, how to take good pictures, how best to approach, what to put on my profile, etc.
Work things out for yourself, OP.
It takes time, yes. There are no tricks or corners you can cut because these are really people, not a game to win. People need to trust and believe that you are what you’re saying, that will never happen if it’s someone else’s words in your mouth"
Also good advice thanks.
I’ve tried lots of things but like you said I think it just takes time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Help and feedback please. I’ve listened to people’s advice and tried so many different approaches. I’m Not the most beautiful man in the world I get that but I’m a normal guy, average body, polite and respectful. I don’t expect to sign up and have all the ladies after me but thought I might do slightly better lol. Any advice people can give me would be appreciated.
Not sure you have read the many thousands of furum posts asking the samequestion, try that first.
Also you joined in a world wide pandemic, many people arent meeting, its only been 2 months.
Men out number women by a huge amount, the chances of something happening are slim at best on here.
Many people think that swinging is about couples swopping, you arent a couple.
You dont accom, why not, do you have a wife at home?
Dont really understand what you expected tbh
If you read his profile it explains why he won't accommodate.
hes changed it since we first read his profile, and we like the explanation hes put, still not sure we would believe it tho
You don't believe a man can have children?
wow arent you a ray of sunshine
Because she asked a question?"
Apparently so |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s trying to stand out but being honest lol. Not easy.
Like I said I’m just a normal guy, average body, clean, good job, respectful, polite and a high sex drive lol
Would get more responses if I said 6 pack and 12 inch cock but why lie and see there horror when it’s actually 13 inches lol"
That’s ridiculous mate not all women give a shit about your perceived notion what’s attractive !
There’s no manual to this
no one bit of advice will be the answer to you finally getting what you think you deserve
And on here you deserve nothing so just enjoy it and stop thinking about what ur not getting from this site and think of the positives ? There must be some |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s trying to stand out but being honest lol. Not easy.
Like I said I’m just a normal guy, average body, clean, good job, respectful, polite and a high sex drive lol
Would get more responses if I said 6 pack and 12 inch cock but why lie and see there horror when it’s actually 13 inches lol
That’s ridiculous mate not all women give a shit about your perceived notion what’s attractive !
There’s no manual to this
no one bit of advice will be the answer to you finally getting what you think you deserve
And on here you deserve nothing so just enjoy it and stop thinking about what ur not getting from this site and think of the positives ? There must be some "
I don’t thing I deserve anything and I think you have read my comments out of context |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s trying to stand out but being honest lol. Not easy.
Like I said I’m just a normal guy, average body, clean, good job, respectful, polite and a high sex drive lol
Would get more responses if I said 6 pack and 12 inch cock but why lie and see there horror when it’s actually 13 inches lol
That’s ridiculous mate not all women give a shit about your perceived notion what’s attractive !
There’s no manual to this
no one bit of advice will be the answer to you finally getting what you think you deserve
And on here you deserve nothing so just enjoy it and stop thinking about what ur not getting from this site and think of the positives ? There must be some
I don’t thing I deserve anything and I think you have read my comments out of context "
Mate I didn’t look through every message but my point wasn’t to have a go at you I apologize if it came across that way !!
My point I was making was I don’t get attention on here I don’t expect to ether I just talk shit and have a laugh everything else is a bonus |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
