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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Morning slutes!!
So I was watching the film “How to be single” last night and there’s a scene where they describe how sometimes certain women get sucked into the dicksands …
Basically it’s like quicksands but it’s what girls get caught in when they're obsessed with their boyfriend/crush/husband or really anyone that's giving them dick and over mould themselves into him and his needs and kinda forget about what they REALLY want.
I have fallen in a pit of dicksands quite a few times, and have seen other women do the same. And only later I realised how maybe I was over doing it and how I might have missed certain things in life order to please my partner. (And they weren’t worth it!!)
I feel like I tend to be that kinda girl tho , when I like somebody I’m the to one getting trapped into his web and his life. And I wonder why that happens.
Did/does this happen to you? Is it something that the more we experience the more we become aware of it and become truly independent? Or Is it to do with nature? …Like me being submissive generally, might mean that I’ll always be the one “bending” without realising, to the will of the dick??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you a bit submissive? Or need a confidence boost?
Sometimes we can try and please someone to get validation.
Treat em mean keep em keen.  "
I don’t know why this happens to be honest!! But for example I always the one moving in with him. So accommodating and moulding myself to him rather than the other way around …
I feel like this is where Daddy issues are coming out in full force, yet again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Awk everyone gets caught up in it one time or another where they put someone on a pedestal for a while before reality brings them down most times unfortunately (be great if it was just genuinely blissful)
It's not restricted to women, seen a couple of friends go that way with other half's! As long as they are happy then fair enough, one was always that way with any gf so it's just his relationship dynamic. The other well not so much.
Not sure if this is simping rather than male dicksanding tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you a bit submissive? Or need a confidence boost?
Sometimes we can try and please someone to get validation.
Treat em mean keep em keen.
I don’t know why this happens to be honest!! But for example I always the one moving in with him. So accommodating and moulding myself to him rather than the other way around …
I feel like this is where Daddy issues are coming out in full force, yet again "
If it's a mutual consent thing where he may be a daddy caring type then that's cool. But if he's taking advantage that's not cool.
There needs to be give and take - not just take.
Don't lose yourself.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Awk everyone gets caught up in it one time or another where they put someone on a pedestal for a while before reality brings them down most times unfortunately (be great if it was just genuinely blissful)
It's not restricted to women, seen a couple of friends go that way with other half's! As long as they are happy then fair enough, one was always that way with any gf so it's just his relationship dynamic. The other well not so much.
Not sure if this is simping rather than male dicksanding tho "
Pussysandssssss  |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I have seen this happen toale and female friends before and it can be very hard for them to recover afterwards.
I have been single the majority of my adult life and although part of that was bringing up a child I think another part was a concious effort not to allow the same to happen to me.
I am generally very submissive but I also know what I want and need in life so I am quite quick to push away from something I think will do me more harm than good relationships wise |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I did this with the ex, lost myself along the way and took 4 years to refind myself
Never Again "
That’s what I mean, I felt the same with exes, to a certain degree. Some more than others. So I’m hoping this will come with experience that I won’t make the same mistake again to be so absorbed by him I lose pieces of me along the way x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you a bit submissive? Or need a confidence boost?
Sometimes we can try and please someone to get validation.
Treat em mean keep em keen.
I don’t know why this happens to be honest!! But for example I always the one moving in with him. So accommodating and moulding myself to him rather than the other way around …
I feel like this is where Daddy issues are coming out in full force, yet again
If it's a mutual consent thing where he may be a daddy caring type then that's cool. But if he's taking advantage that's not cool.
There needs to be give and take - not just take.
Don't lose yourself. "
I don’t think it was a case of taking advantage. Maybe only my second boyfriend did it … but it’s more like feeling like allowing to relinquish some of our powers to please the guy and we kinda get lost a bit along the way of what we really want x
If it makes any sense |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"An old fwb taught me this saying years ago and I fucking love it
What’s the female equivalent?
Vaginasand don’t cut it
Cunt net? I dunno "
Cunt net sounds cool
Or the pussy web!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"An old fwb taught me this saying years ago and I fucking love it
What’s the female equivalent?
Vaginasand don’t cut it
Cunt net? I dunno "
Have you ever got caught/tangled in the pussy web? |
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"An old fwb taught me this saying years ago and I fucking love it
What’s the female equivalent?
Vaginasand don’t cut it
Cunt net? I dunno
Have you ever got caught/tangled in the pussy web? "
Fwb in question. Both caught in eachothers sand/net
We just weren’t a good match but the sex was that good.
I think your overcomplicating the concept though, I think it’s just when the sex is that good you keep coming back.
I’ve got no sympathy for people caught in and dicksand or pussy net. It’s not their fault they are good at it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I did this with the ex, lost myself along the way and took 4 years to refind myself
Never Again "
I can relate. I squandered my career and sex life to meet her needs and try and settle down. whilst all along she never cared about me and admitted as much after ten years. A harsh lesson in life was learned the hard way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"An old fwb taught me this saying years ago and I fucking love it
What’s the female equivalent?
Vaginasand don’t cut it
Cunt net? I dunno
Cunt net sounds cool
Or the pussy web!!! "
The pussy whip |
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"An old fwb taught me this saying years ago and I fucking love it
What’s the female equivalent?
Vaginasand don’t cut it
Cunt net? I dunno
Have you ever got caught/tangled in the pussy web? "
Yes many times asa younger man. But somethings changed in me and I’m more likely to catch a woman in my dicksand now Kylie  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"An old fwb taught me this saying years ago and I fucking love it
What’s the female equivalent?
Vaginasand don’t cut it
Cunt net? I dunno
Cunt net sounds cool
Or the pussy web!!!
The pussy whip "
Hahaha!! The pussy whip sounds like 10/10
It’s a real thing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"An old fwb taught me this saying years ago and I fucking love it
What’s the female equivalent?
Vaginasand don’t cut it
Cunt net? I dunno
Have you ever got caught/tangled in the pussy web?
Yes many times asa younger man. But somethings changed in me and I’m more likely to catch a woman in my dicksand now Kylie "
You are terrible sir!!! Do they suck in women very quickly or slow and steady ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep I’ve been guilty of this my whole life. Put guys on pedestals, always wanting to do things for them, errands, gifts, problem solving. Putting their needs and feelings above my own, being a push over, everything on their terms.
Now I feel ready to do things the right way. I’m not speaking to any guys at the moment. I’m completely peaceful and calm but after Xmas I may try dating again. But then I’m not even gonna try. I’m not interested in low vibrational shit. |
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"Yep I’ve been guilty of this my whole life. Put guys on pedestals, always wanting to do things for them, errands, gifts, problem solving. Putting their needs and feelings above my own, being a push over, everything on their terms.
Now I feel ready to do things the right way. I’m not speaking to any guys at the moment. I’m completely peaceful and calm but after Xmas I may try dating again. But then I’m not even gonna try. I’m not interested in low vibrational shit. "
First paragraph, yep, that's been me.
Second paragraph, nope. Don't think I can let myself. I don't trust myself not to ignore the red flags again. |
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"An old fwb taught me this saying years ago and I fucking love it
What’s the female equivalent?
Vaginasand don’t cut it
Cunt net? I dunno
Have you ever got caught/tangled in the pussy web?
Yes many times asa younger man. But somethings changed in me and I’m more likely to catch a woman in my dicksand now Kylie
You are terrible sir!!! Do they suck in women very quickly or slow and steady ? "
One minute they are there, next they are gone  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep I’ve been guilty of this my whole life. Put guys on pedestals, always wanting to do things for them, errands, gifts, problem solving. Putting their needs and feelings above my own, being a push over, everything on their terms.
Now I feel ready to do things the right way. I’m not speaking to any guys at the moment. I’m completely peaceful and calm but after Xmas I may try dating again. But then I’m not even gonna try. I’m not interested in low vibrational shit. "
Yes I sooooo get it! And waking up from the slumber and realising the “time waste” or that it wasn’t worth all the extra effort … to be more precise… is kinda such a shocking wake up call.
Hopefully it’s something that can be addressed in future relationships |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep I’ve been guilty of this my whole life. Put guys on pedestals, always wanting to do things for them, errands, gifts, problem solving. Putting their needs and feelings above my own, being a push over, everything on their terms.
Now I feel ready to do things the right way. I’m not speaking to any guys at the moment. I’m completely peaceful and calm but after Xmas I may try dating again. But then I’m not even gonna try. I’m not interested in low vibrational shit.
First paragraph, yep, that's been me.
Second paragraph, nope. Don't think I can let myself. I don't trust myself not to ignore the red flags again."
I really wanna believe that I can have boundaries this time. But it’s so much calmer when there’s no one on the scene, think this is the first Xmas in god knows how many years where I’ve not got any sadness from men issues at the back of my mind. Im in full on Xmas twat mode. |
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"Yep I’ve been guilty of this my whole life. Put guys on pedestals, always wanting to do things for them, errands, gifts, problem solving. Putting their needs and feelings above my own, being a push over, everything on their terms.
Now I feel ready to do things the right way. I’m not speaking to any guys at the moment. I’m completely peaceful and calm but after Xmas I may try dating again. But then I’m not even gonna try. I’m not interested in low vibrational shit. "
You see that would drive me nuts all that fussing and faffing over me. I appreciate it’s done with the best intentions of love and kindness but it’s so un attractive. I prefer a woman to be more self assured and confident enough to encourage me do the chasing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep I’ve been guilty of this my whole life. Put guys on pedestals, always wanting to do things for them, errands, gifts, problem solving. Putting their needs and feelings above my own, being a push over, everything on their terms.
Now I feel ready to do things the right way. I’m not speaking to any guys at the moment. I’m completely peaceful and calm but after Xmas I may try dating again. But then I’m not even gonna try. I’m not interested in low vibrational shit.
First paragraph, yep, that's been me.
Second paragraph, nope. Don't think I can let myself. I don't trust myself not to ignore the red flags again."
It’s the rational vs irrational heart/feelings …
I’ve ignored flags so many times but I know certain flags I deffo don’t want to go through again.
Like no more d*unks, no more emotionally unavailable people, no more emotionally DRY men either.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I moulded myself to be what my ex wanted for 32 years but that was fine as I loved her dearly and still do but something happened in our relationship and now im free to be me again. Its hard finding out about yourself but nice doing it . Its really nice being on here and thought id get laid easily as told it was but then again a female friend told me about fab so of course her experience completely different to a guys |
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