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Reason for Divorce?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A drug addict son and how we dealt with him . Me he gets no money from us but the ex here's lots of money everytime he made up an excuse for something he said he needed that never appeared and depression on my part . Very much wise I was still with her but he's still at home with her |
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I was divorced over 40 years ago.
The main reasons were his compulsive lying and addiction to gambling. Secondary reason was cultural differences.
The only thing that could have saved that relationship was complete personality change by both of us. Disastrous mistake from which I learned many useful lessons. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was divorced over 40 years ago.
The main reasons were his compulsive lying and addiction to gambling. Secondary reason was cultural differences.
The only thing that could have saved that relationship was complete personality change by both of us. Disastrous mistake from which I learned many useful lessons. "
Wow really? It sounds like you were very incompatible, I can compromise but can't completely change who you are |
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"I was divorced over 40 years ago.
The main reasons were his compulsive lying and addiction to gambling. Secondary reason was cultural differences.
The only thing that could have saved that relationship was complete personality change by both of us. Disastrous mistake from which I learned many useful lessons.
Wow really? It sounds like you were very incompatible, I can compromise but can't completely change who you are"
The main incompatibility was my refusal to accept his lies or him putting his entire month's salary on the back of a horse  . There was also the occasion when he told me that he lied to test how far I would go to support him. It's funny to look back on |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Does that happen naturally then? I take it nothing else held you both back?"
We were separated for a few years before we bothered to get divorced.
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah avoided it by never getting married don't believe in marriage so definitely swerved it just kicked her out changed the locks never talked again easy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah avoided it by never getting married don't believe in marriage so definitely swerved it just kicked her out changed the locks never talked again easy.
Story made in heaven."
she wasn't no angel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He was a serial cheater..
Gaslighted me
Worst present buyer as he was a tight arse…bottle of Radox & CD presented to me in a Morrisons bag one Xmas day (the same year he bought himself a convertible Audi)
The list is endless… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It took 9+ years to file for divorce after that length of separation.
The marriage came to an end due to what's now known as "coercive abuse" for myself and 3 kids. I snapped one day and made a choice to end the marriage and change my life around the age of 40.
I woke up one day feeling that I didn't recognise my previously bubbly self, his negativity rubbing off in me, after putting up with so much shit, neglect, no affection, being constantly undermined, watched my kids be treated differently to each other, the eldest manhandled and thrown out of her home for something very stupid, they all suffered bar one who was close to her dad. She then grew up and realised differently. The coercion happens all so very subtly and no one sees it happening however certain behaviours were obvious like his temper and the fear we sometimes felt.
Yeah. It's been a hard 10 years but I've survived and enjoying life very much now!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took 9+ years to file for divorce after that length of separation.
The marriage came to an end due to what's now known as "coercive abuse" for myself and 3 kids. I snapped one day and made a choice to end the marriage and change my life around the age of 40.
I woke up one day feeling that I didn't recognise my previously bubbly self, his negativity rubbing off in me, after putting up with so much shit, neglect, no affection, being constantly undermined, watched my kids be treated differently to each other, the eldest manhandled and thrown out of her home for something very stupid, they all suffered bar one who was close to her dad. She then grew up and realised differently. The coercion happens all so very subtly and no one sees it happening however certain behaviours were obvious like his temper and the fear we sometimes felt.
Yeah. It's been a hard 10 years but I've survived and enjoying life very much now! "
Good for you, my ex was very much the same. I just feel guilty for the years I spent putting up with it and what I put the kids through by staying. X |
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"I left my marriage 5 years ago because of abuse
My decree absolute came through around 6 weeks ago "
Can feel for you my deceased wife her ex was verbally and physically abusive. The divorce was her "fault" according to her strict Irish/English Catholic family not that he had gone off with a 10 year younger version if her.
It did not stop until I confronted him on doorstep and in a very pleasant manner informed him, that if he threatened her ever again and left "a blank open ending".
He understood within seconds, then did same for her abusive parents ( her father bashed her )
I hope you find all the lucky in the world and peace. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good for you, my ex was very much the same. I just feel guilty for the years I spent putting up with it and what I put the kids through by staying. X "
21 years married at that point and I too felt guilty for not ending it sooner because some of the damage to the kids would have been much less than it was. I wasn't ready and couldn't leave for fear that he would have had us homeless etc. Needless to say my 2 eldest kids don't want anything to do with their father not that he's interested anyways (thankfully!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good for you, my ex was very much the same. I just feel guilty for the years I spent putting up with it and what I put the kids through by staying. X "
I should have said "thank you and glad to hear you also got out and survived" x |
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By *apxxxWoman
over a year ago
North Shropshire not Wales!!!ffs & Manchester |
We grew apart and divorced because it was the fair thing to do for both of us...we remained amicable and friends and he got remarried to a lovely woman..my kids at the time didn't even realise we were going through a divorce it was so amicable...a lovely guy just fell out of love ... |
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"Good for you, my ex was very much the same. I just feel guilty for the years I spent putting up with it and what I put the kids through by staying. X
21 years married at that point and I too felt guilty for not ending it sooner because some of the damage to the kids would have been much less than it was. I wasn't ready and couldn't leave for fear that he would have had us homeless etc. Needless to say my 2 eldest kids don't want anything to do with their father not that he's interested anyways (thankfully!) "
Similar story here, I thought I was protecting my kids by staying with him but he was doing the same to them, didn’t recognise myself, crying walking to work and decided to end it - still supported him financially and emotionally for 5 years after separation until someone told me about narcissistic personality disorder a d I then went on a road to recovery. 10 years now since we first split and I’m loving life, he has remarried but our boys have no contact with him and he controls his new wife very well |
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"What was your reason? And could you not have avoided it, touchy subject but many relationships have ended without both trying to reach a compromise  "
I very much doubt the decision to divorce is taken lightly ie nothing that a simple bit of compromising wouldn't sort out
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
If only schools taught about divorce. In the same way that police and fire brigade, explain to school kids the dangers of drink driving and the damage it causes.
This stupid Princess-for-a-day, doesn't always end well.
Ask the Spencers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good for you, my ex was very much the same. I just feel guilty for the years I spent putting up with it and what I put the kids through by staying. X
I should have said "thank you and glad to hear you also got out and survived" x"
You’re welcome, I served 22 years. We’re definitely survivors x |
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She cheated on me. First thing I knew about it was when she said she needed some time apart. Said she wasn't cheating just needed a break. I few odd things started to add up and I discovered she was cheating when I dug a bit. I confronted her and she manipulated things to make me believe despite the evidence I had gone completely mad and paranoid. Made me think I'm the bad guy who needed my head looking at. Turns outs now I see in the clear of day she was a very maniputive woman. Put me in the darkest place I've ever been before. I offered her a way back, to save our marriage. But I set boundaries that she continued break. I think arrogantly she thought she could do what she wanted and walk back in when things got shit for her like me and the kids were some kind of plan B. As hard as it was for me I said no more and started divorce proceedings based on adultery and got divorced. When the smoke cleared it was me, an infant boy and young girl starting a new life. It was a scary and uncertain time. I was left in the end literally holding the baby.
Now I couldn't be a happier. De-programmed from her mind games, self aware/assured and engaged to the beautiful and amazing woman you see with me here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got married far too young (both 20). Had 3 kids, for the first 9 years we were plodding along, then I turned 30 and had a wild year, we had another 5 good years after my then husband forgave me, he then went and did the same thing and we both realised we were better off apart.
There wasn't much shouting as we wanted to maintain a good relationship for our boys, which we have to this day (it will be 7 years next Wednesday that we split).
Sometimes your first loves are not always your lasts. I am glad I had that time as I have my boys but I am so much happier in this marriage, for so many different reasons and I can't thank Fab enough for being around!
Danish x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She preferred to find comfort in other peoples beds through our rough patches then to work on our marriage together. I took her back the first time for the kids sake but not the second |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I didn't actually love him. He was an ok bloke but I wasn't happy.
And then he had an affair and I genuinely didn't care.... so figured I should probably cut him loose. Still took 2 years to find the courage though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She wanted the divorce, citing some petty things that had happened in the past. Though initially shocked it gave me the distance to see how manipulative and controlling she'd been throughout the marriage. I'm much happier on my own. |
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She wanted new cars nice house nice clothes newest designer gear for the kids best of everything I didn't mind because I loved her and my kids but I had to work hard long days overtime at weekends to pay for it all but it was worth it coming home to my family.
Then she ran off with my best mate because I was never at home !!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She wanted new cars nice house nice clothes newest designer gear for the kids best of everything I didn't mind because I loved her and my kids but I had to work hard long days overtime at weekends to pay for it all but it was worth it coming home to my family.
Then she ran off with my best mate because I was never at home !!
"
I can sympathise there mate. She was happy to splash the cash but never happy that I was busy working so she could spend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because he was an emotionally abusive twat
Atleast you saw it and got outta there
The most scared I’ve ever been "
I bet! But you're in a better position without him. Nobody needs that kind of person in their lives |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because he was an emotionally abusive twat
Atleast you saw it and got outta there
The most scared I’ve ever been
I bet! But you're in a better position without him. Nobody needs that kind of person in their lives"
Too right  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm just at the beginning of this journey, not because he is an awful person or husband (quite the opposite) but because after many years together we have become very different in our views and outlook. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was your reason? And could you not have avoided it, touchy subject but many relationships have ended without both trying to reach a compromise "
Basically - he broke his vows (to love and cherish me) |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"What was your reason? And could you not have avoided it, touchy subject but many relationships have ended without both trying to reach a compromise "
Years of being, beaten, gaslighted and general abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Emotional abuse, controlling, stole from me, was very lazy. The way he has cut all contact from our son has proved I did right divorcing him. He is a sad low life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She wanted new cars nice house nice clothes newest designer gear for the kids best of everything I didn't mind because I loved her and my kids but I had to work hard long days overtime at weekends to pay for it all but it was worth it coming home to my family.
Then she ran off with my best mate because I was never at home !!
"
Ex best mate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My childhood sweetheart turned into an alcoholic, a gambling addict and a monster who broke my arm in two places right before my England trials. He ruined my life and all my aspirations. Divorce was the only option. |
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He cheated, we tried to work it out but he decided he needed her in his life as a friend so I ended it.
I always knew how manipulative he was but being so happy since we broke up has made me realise how much of an effect it had on me. |
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By *not123Couple
over a year ago
sp1 |
My husband was great at mental n physiological abuse. Brought me down as far as anyone could , I still wanted to try get the person I fell for bk but was never going to happen without destroying me so no divorce ended up the only option |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Engaged but never tied the knot. I stopped loving him. Didn't realise it at the time but it was because he gaslighted me for nearly 20 years. "
At the time, why did you think you had stopped loving him? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Engaged but never tied the knot. I stopped loving him. Didn't realise it at the time but it was because he gaslighted me for nearly 20 years.
At the time, why did you think you had stopped loving him?"
I think the sex played a big part, he was quite selfish. And I'd realised I was kinky. I blamed myself. He was quite selfish in lots of ways, but I didn't see the full picture until later. |
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Married young, we both worked very hard, had three children, she was very controlling, I made decision to sell my family business, within 6 months she was having affair and moved out. Expensive divorce settlement, solicitors made a fortune, consolation in that three late teenage kids stayed with me and kept me sane, 15 years on, two refuse to have anything to do with her to this day, and I've had time of my life  |
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He had an affair. I was working evenings. He used to invite her to the house, while my young children in bed.
He also had " addictions" diugs and drinking.
I found out the affair and chucked him out. |
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So sad to read so many people in abusive relationships, physical or otherwise. Nobody should ever have to suffer in that way and well done everyone who got out and moved on with their lives. Sadly of course there are still so many who are probably still suffering abusive relationships. |
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"He was a serial cheater..
Gaslighted me
Worst present buyer as he was a tight arse…bottle of Radox & CD presented to me in a Morrisons bag one Xmas day (the same year he bought himself a convertible Audi)
The list is endless…"
Look on the bright side ... it could have been a Poundstretcher's bag. and a proper car. |
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"She cheated on me. First thing I knew about it was when she said she needed some time apart. Said she wasn't cheating just needed a break. I few odd things started to add up and I discovered she was cheating when I dug a bit. I confronted her and she manipulated things to make me believe despite the evidence I had gone completely mad and paranoid. Made me think I'm the bad guy who needed my head looking at. Turns outs now I see in the clear of day she was a very maniputive woman. Put me in the darkest place I've ever been before. I offered her a way back, to save our marriage. But I set boundaries that she continued break. I think arrogantly she thought she could do what she wanted and walk back in when things got shit for her like me and the kids were some kind of plan B. As hard as it was for me I said no more and started divorce proceedings based on adultery and got divorced. When the smoke cleared it was me, an infant boy and young girl starting a new life. It was a scary and uncertain time. I was left in the end literally holding the baby.
Now I couldn't be a happier. De-programmed from her mind games, self aware/assured and engaged to the beautiful and amazing woman you see with me here. "
Absolutely fantastic, mate. Well done to you. Must have been a really tough road but we’ll worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I gave my husband a list to take to his solicitor. It was all my unreasonable behaviour and the reasons we could no longer stay together.
It was the only way to get the divorce. He had to make me the villain.
It kinda shows how spectacularly bad our marriage was really.
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"Never had a divorce. I feel like I've missed out on a life experience."
It cost me thousands to get divorced as he couldn’t know where I was (I was living in a different country to get away from him) your not missing anything x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a common thing, I’m going through a similar situation, I just feel it’s sad that people forget the good so easily and do the opposite of what’s right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Constant gaslighting, to the point that I thought I was actually going crazy.
I tried really hard but it takes two people. Did I make mistake, yes of course I did but he made it impossible to trust him. |
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Not dealing with our problems started the downward spiral, in the end we felt more like house mates than hubby n wife,I don't regret it one bit, he's had a personality transplant several times since, I'm alot happier n it's been 11 yrs of happiness |
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No matter what I did how hard I worked and she never had to want for anything. It was still not enough everything was my fault. The best thing that came out of my marriage are my 4 beautiful kiss love them so much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I.left and never went back. Never got divorced as i will.never marry again. He now has someone who refers to him as her husband. Not sure if he remarried but on the data base he has not divorced me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I.left and never went back. Never got divorced as i will.never marry again. He now has someone who refers to him as her husband. Not sure if he remarried but on the data base he has not divorced me. "
Perhaps look into the financial implications of still being married.  |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I've never been married and don't think I will ever want to.
It's so sad that people we once cared very deeply for can sometimes end so bitterly. "
One lovely day things will suddenly change obviously for the better and you'll think totally different it's a scary world so hanging in there |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
Wasn’t married but together 15 year with 2 kids, the end started way back in 2014 when she cheated then ran off with someone else then asked me to come back after she realised it was a mistake, I never forgave her for it as there was no real apology or remorse and she actually rubbed it in what she did a few times. There were happy times since then but was always up and down, the end came in 2021 when a lass I never thought would look twice at me talked to me in a bar and made her interest clear while I was down Kent I politely declined but it stirred up loads of different emotions had I made a mistake ect as pathetic as it sounds I fell for her a bit once home it all just caused more a aggravation and eventually she moved out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Domestic violence throughout the ten years we were together, I started committing adultery which I have no shame over the bastard deserved it. Before anyone feels sympathy for the scum bag he abandoned his kids left me to raise them and proud to say I did a fantastic job. In case you’re wondering it was a forced arranged marriage a practice common in the south Asian community. |
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