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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
So…. Yesturday we went for a lovely afternoon social event advertised as coffee and cake…
I am currently being sued for lack of cake 
I will never live this down…
What have you been offered or seen recently that was definitely not as described?!?!
The funnier the better please
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just took her ladyship for a run in an area I used to run lots but she doesn't know. Apparently the last bit of uphill wasn't "just a little climb" as I described it. I was threatened with a punch in the face if there were any more after telling her it was the last one.
She said she wasn't my friend and then spent quite a while trying to remember if she should keep her thumb tucked in or out while punching me. 
Mr |
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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago
Walking down the only road I've ever known! |
"Just took her ladyship for a run in an area I used to run lots but she doesn't know. Apparently the last bit of uphill wasn't "just a little climb" as I described it. I was threatened with a punch in the face if there were any more after telling her it was the last one.
She said she wasn't my friend and then spent quite a while trying to remember if she should keep her thumb tucked in or out while punching me.
Mr"
Keep your thumb out |
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"So…. Yesturday we went for a lovely afternoon social event advertised as coffee and cake…
I am currently being sued for lack of cake
I will never live this down…
What have you been offered or seen recently that was definitely not as described?!?!
The funnier the better please
"
Can't believe you led everyone on like that!
Recently I was asked by a friend to help move house which I agreed to.
What I wasn't told was the squalid state his place was it, felt like I needed a hasmat suite! |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"Just took her ladyship for a run in an area I used to run lots but she doesn't know. Apparently the last bit of uphill wasn't "just a little climb" as I described it. I was threatened with a punch in the face if there were any more after telling her it was the last one.
She said she wasn't my friend and then spent quite a while trying to remember if she should keep her thumb tucked in or out while punching me.
Mr"
Well deserved I reckon!!! Harsh  |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"So…. Yesturday we went for a lovely afternoon social event advertised as coffee and cake…
I am currently being sued for lack of cake
I will never live this down…
What have you been offered or seen recently that was definitely not as described?!?!
The funnier the better please
Can't believe you led everyone on like that!
Recently I was asked by a friend to help move house which I agreed to.
What I wasn't told was the squalid state his place was it, felt like I needed a hasmat suite!"
I know right?!?! I’m in BIG trouble… it’s a place I know well and they always had a big dresser with loads of speciality cakes to choose from.. they’ve bloody rebranded and it’s gone.. I know now..
hope you got a massive favour in return for that!?! Was his stuff sticky?!?! |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"That tv advert with Mr e Cantona in, I joined thinking yes a dedicated cuckold bull site. nothing makes sense these days  "
I haven’t got a clue what that advert is?!? What’s it really selling? |
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From my able bodied days:
The Lonely Planet guidebook for Mallorca advertised a remote beach as being "a quick scramble across some rocks." An hour's mountaineering and rock climbing later, we made it on to the beach. I abandoned the rocks and swum the last bit, fully clothed and wearing trainers. I nearly died on the hike back up, such a feat of endurance it was |
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"What coffee venue doesn’t serve cake
I know right?!?! WTF?!?! "
It had cheesecake, sticky toffee pud, brownies, something else I can't remember, ice cream/sorbets and a cheese board. If I'd not had the fat burger, I'd have got a brownie |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"From my able bodied days:
The Lonely Planet guidebook for Mallorca advertised a remote beach as being "a quick scramble across some rocks." An hour's mountaineering and rock climbing later, we made it on to the beach. I abandoned the rocks and swum the last bit, fully clothed and wearing trainers. I nearly died on the hike back up, such a feat of endurance it was "
Omg that’s hideous!!! I hope this beach was worth it after risking your life!!! |
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"So…. Yesturday we went for a lovely afternoon social event advertised as coffee and cake…
I am currently being sued for lack of cake
I will never live this down…
What have you been offered or seen recently that was definitely not as described?!?!
The funnier the better please
Can't believe you led everyone on like that!
Recently I was asked by a friend to help move house which I agreed to.
What I wasn't told was the squalid state his place was it, felt like I needed a hasmat suite!
I know right?!?! I’m in BIG trouble… it’s a place I know well and they always had a big dresser with loads of speciality cakes to choose from.. they’ve bloody rebranded and it’s gone.. I know now..
hope you got a massive favour in return for that!?! Was his stuff sticky?!?! "
You should be in very big trouble! 
You only had one job
Only with mould, I hope... |
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"From my able bodied days:
The Lonely Planet guidebook for Mallorca advertised a remote beach as being "a quick scramble across some rocks." An hour's mountaineering and rock climbing later, we made it on to the beach. I abandoned the rocks and swum the last bit, fully clothed and wearing trainers. I nearly died on the hike back up, such a feat of endurance it was
Omg that’s hideous!!! I hope this beach was worth it after risking your life!!! "
It was! It was the quietest, loveliest beach ever and it had goats We hadn't packed much food so we only had crisps and biscuits for lunch after this epic feat. Then we made the error of deciding to go back to our hotel to freshen up before trying to find food for the evening. It's Mallorca, everything is open late, right? Not on Wednesdays. Wednesday is the night the restaurants shut early. There was no food. We were staying on top of a remote mountain..... We finished our crisps, biscuits and some Kas Limón and the day after, we had a massive row because we were both hangry! |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"So…. Yesturday we went for a lovely afternoon social event advertised as coffee and cake…
I am currently being sued for lack of cake
I will never live this down…
What have you been offered or seen recently that was definitely not as described?!?!
The funnier the better please
Can't believe you led everyone on like that!
Recently I was asked by a friend to help move house which I agreed to.
What I wasn't told was the squalid state his place was it, felt like I needed a hasmat suite!
I know right?!?! I’m in BIG trouble… it’s a place I know well and they always had a big dresser with loads of speciality cakes to choose from.. they’ve bloody rebranded and it’s gone.. I know now..
hope you got a massive favour in return for that!?! Was his stuff sticky?!?!
You should be in very big trouble!
You only had one job
Only with mould, I hope..."
I really am
If in doubt don’t look too closely or sniff the sticky hands |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"the 'serves 4' sign on my gooey cheesy bakey fonduey thing.
i most definitely demolished the entire thing on my own.
 Px "
Yes!!!!! Any dessert that serves 4/6… its LIES!!!! It’s for one very deserving recipient. That’s fact |
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"That tv advert with Mr e Cantona in, I joined thinking yes a dedicated cuckold bull site. nothing makes sense these days
I haven’t got a clue what that advert is?!? What’s it really selling? "
Found out it was a gambling Web site... bet bull |
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"So…. Yesturday we went for a lovely afternoon social event advertised as coffee and cake…
I am currently being sued for lack of cake
I will never live this down…
What have you been offered or seen recently that was definitely not as described?!?!
The funnier the better please
Can't believe you led everyone on like that!
Recently I was asked by a friend to help move house which I agreed to.
What I wasn't told was the squalid state his place was it, felt like I needed a hasmat suite!
I know right?!?! I’m in BIG trouble… it’s a place I know well and they always had a big dresser with loads of speciality cakes to choose from.. they’ve bloody rebranded and it’s gone.. I know now..
hope you got a massive favour in return for that!?! Was his stuff sticky?!?!
You should be in very big trouble!
You only had one job
Only with mould, I hope...
I really am
If in doubt don’t look too closely or sniff the sticky hands "
It was actually the one time I was glad i've lost my sense of smell! |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"From my able bodied days:
The Lonely Planet guidebook for Mallorca advertised a remote beach as being "a quick scramble across some rocks." An hour's mountaineering and rock climbing later, we made it on to the beach. I abandoned the rocks and swum the last bit, fully clothed and wearing trainers. I nearly died on the hike back up, such a feat of endurance it was
Omg that’s hideous!!! I hope this beach was worth it after risking your life!!!
It was! It was the quietest, loveliest beach ever and it had goats We hadn't packed much food so we only had crisps and biscuits for lunch after this epic feat. Then we made the error of deciding to go back to our hotel to freshen up before trying to find food for the evening. It's Mallorca, everything is open late, right? Not on Wednesdays. Wednesday is the night the restaurants shut early. There was no food. We were staying on top of a remote mountain..... We finished our crisps, biscuits and some Kas Limón and the day after, we had a massive row because we were both hangry! "
Goats?!?! On a beach?!?! Bizarre yet ace!! Sounds bliss… until you get to the hangry part.. that’s a dreadful feeling. |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"That tv advert with Mr e Cantona in, I joined thinking yes a dedicated cuckold bull site. nothing makes sense these days
I haven’t got a clue what that advert is?!? What’s it really selling?
Found out it was a gambling Web site... bet bull "
I hope you’ve complained to Mr Cantona… commiserations. That’s shocking |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"So…. Yesturday we went for a lovely afternoon social event advertised as coffee and cake…
I am currently being sued for lack of cake
I will never live this down…
What have you been offered or seen recently that was definitely not as described?!?!
The funnier the better please
Can't believe you led everyone on like that!
Recently I was asked by a friend to help move house which I agreed to.
What I wasn't told was the squalid state his place was it, felt like I needed a hasmat suite!
I know right?!?! I’m in BIG trouble… it’s a place I know well and they always had a big dresser with loads of speciality cakes to choose from.. they’ve bloody rebranded and it’s gone.. I know now..
hope you got a massive favour in return for that!?! Was his stuff sticky?!?!
You should be in very big trouble!
You only had one job
Only with mould, I hope...
I really am
If in doubt don’t look too closely or sniff the sticky hands
It was actually the one time I was glad i've lost my sense of smell! "
I reckon it was bodily fluids and everything….. |
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"From my able bodied days:
The Lonely Planet guidebook for Mallorca advertised a remote beach as being "a quick scramble across some rocks." An hour's mountaineering and rock climbing later, we made it on to the beach. I abandoned the rocks and swum the last bit, fully clothed and wearing trainers. I nearly died on the hike back up, such a feat of endurance it was
Omg that’s hideous!!! I hope this beach was worth it after risking your life!!!
It was! It was the quietest, loveliest beach ever and it had goats We hadn't packed much food so we only had crisps and biscuits for lunch after this epic feat. Then we made the error of deciding to go back to our hotel to freshen up before trying to find food for the evening. It's Mallorca, everything is open late, right? Not on Wednesdays. Wednesday is the night the restaurants shut early. There was no food. We were staying on top of a remote mountain..... We finished our crisps, biscuits and some Kas Limón and the day after, we had a massive row because we were both hangry!
Goats?!?! On a beach?!?! Bizarre yet ace!! Sounds bliss… until you get to the hangry part.. that’s a dreadful feeling. "
The day we were hangry, we decided to drive to a really quaint little town in the hills on the opposite side of the island. We got lost because Mr KC's brain was obviously addled from lack of food and couldn't read the map and we had altercation about a tram (don't ask!) We managed a delicious late lunch in a veggie café and later on, after a massive nosh up for dinner, we had epic makeup sex |
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"That tv advert with Mr e Cantona in, I joined thinking yes a dedicated cuckold bull site. nothing makes sense these days
I haven’t got a clue what that advert is?!? What’s it really selling?
Found out it was a gambling Web site... bet bull
I hope you’ve complained to Mr Cantona… commiserations. That’s shocking "
No complaints to Mr Cantona great acting had me signing up.  |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"From my able bodied days:
The Lonely Planet guidebook for Mallorca advertised a remote beach as being "a quick scramble across some rocks." An hour's mountaineering and rock climbing later, we made it on to the beach. I abandoned the rocks and swum the last bit, fully clothed and wearing trainers. I nearly died on the hike back up, such a feat of endurance it was
Omg that’s hideous!!! I hope this beach was worth it after risking your life!!!
It was! It was the quietest, loveliest beach ever and it had goats We hadn't packed much food so we only had crisps and biscuits for lunch after this epic feat. Then we made the error of deciding to go back to our hotel to freshen up before trying to find food for the evening. It's Mallorca, everything is open late, right? Not on Wednesdays. Wednesday is the night the restaurants shut early. There was no food. We were staying on top of a remote mountain..... We finished our crisps, biscuits and some Kas Limón and the day after, we had a massive row because we were both hangry!
Goats?!?! On a beach?!?! Bizarre yet ace!! Sounds bliss… until you get to the hangry part.. that’s a dreadful feeling.
The day we were hangry, we decided to drive to a really quaint little town in the hills on the opposite side of the island. We got lost because Mr KC's brain was obviously addled from lack of food and couldn't read the map and we had altercation about a tram (don't ask!) We managed a delicious late lunch in a veggie café and later on, after a massive nosh up for dinner, we had epic makeup sex "
Tram silver linings eh…. I like the positive spin on this!! |
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"So…. Yesturday we went for a lovely afternoon social event advertised as coffee and cake…
I am currently being sued for lack of cake
I will never live this down…
What have you been offered or seen recently that was definitely not as described?!?!
The funnier the better please
Can't believe you led everyone on like that!
Recently I was asked by a friend to help move house which I agreed to.
What I wasn't told was the squalid state his place was it, felt like I needed a hasmat suite!
I know right?!?! I’m in BIG trouble… it’s a place I know well and they always had a big dresser with loads of speciality cakes to choose from.. they’ve bloody rebranded and it’s gone.. I know now..
hope you got a massive favour in return for that!?! Was his stuff sticky?!?!
You should be in very big trouble!
You only had one job
Only with mould, I hope...
I really am
If in doubt don’t look too closely or sniff the sticky hands
It was actually the one time I was glad i've lost my sense of smell!
I reckon it was bodily fluids and everything….."
Stop it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just took her ladyship for a run in an area I used to run lots but she doesn't know. Apparently the last bit of uphill wasn't "just a little climb" as I described it. I was threatened with a punch in the face if there were any more after telling her it was the last one.
She said she wasn't my friend and then spent quite a while trying to remember if she should keep her thumb tucked in or out while punching me.
Mr
Well deserved I reckon!!! Harsh "
Tbf she had been training almost entirely on flat routes for her marathon and I did pack a lot of hills in - managed nearly 700m of vertical ascent in the first 13k and then got lost. In the years since I last ran the end section they've logged a lot of the forestry and put in new access tracks
Mr |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
A recent voice note started out all promising, I thought I was going to get ghost stories combined with dress advice going off the signposting. But no, I got the sounds of a horror movie, all torrential rain and howling winds.  False advertising. |
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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago
Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands |
Way back in my motorsport days friends would take photos of my antics, enlarge them stick them in an envelope with a "Photographs Do Not Bend" sticker on it. Tke bloody postie would write on the envelope "Oh yes they do" before folding it in half to get it through the letterbox.  |
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