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Pervert energy and gut feelings.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is more for the ladies. In general everyday life and the encounters you have with men do you ever get strong pervert vibes off *some* men and others you don’t?
I’ll give an example, in work with me there this little bald guy who’s in his late 50’s and I just get pervy vibes off him, like when he says things it kinda goes through me. Now I have no evidence and he could be and most likely is a nice guy, I just can’t help the feeling I get when he talks to me.
This is nothing to do with not finding him attractive. There’s lots of men I don’t find attractive in my everyday life but they don’t make me feel a certain way when I interact with them.
It could the most innocent of comments like, you look nice today, but the eyes linger on me and I just feel he’s thinking shit in his head. Can’t help it. Then other guys, just normal guys like older gents I work with could say the same comments but I don’t get that same feeling. It’s just like a yucky feeling.
Anyone understand what I mean? |
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Absolutely. I went on a date once with a guy and was just uncomfortable the whole time. He was attractive, dressed nicely and smelled great but he just gave me the creeps. He was very overly touchy feely which didn't help. He also said it was "cute that I was shy" when I didn't want him to put his arm around me  . |
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I completely understand what you're saying. Theres a guy on here, lives a couple of streets away from me, even his status updates made my flesh crawl. I've walked past him in the street and had exactly the same vibe from him. I have him blocked now x |
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People 100% give off vibes by subtle social cues they can’t hide.
The level they are interpreted by people then comes down to attractiveness
I’d imagine it’s very hard for David Beckham to come off as creepy or pervy
I’d imagine the innocent overweight balding old man down the road comes off that way without even trying
There’s levels to it all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At what age do you turn into a dirty old man? So as a mid twenties guy, I’d have accepted someone calling me filthy minded, you know. But at what time does it become acceptable to still throw out an innuendo, a flirty comment before someone gets a dirty pervert vibe and it creeps them out?….  |
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"At what age do you turn into a dirty old man? So as a mid twenties guy, I’d have accepted someone calling me filthy minded, you know. But at what time does it become acceptable to still throw out an innuendo, a flirty comment before someone gets a dirty pervert vibe and it creeps them out?…. "
Teenagers can be creepy. Creepy is creepy regardless of age. |
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Could it possibly be - and just putting this out there- that one woman’s perceived pervy vibes could be another’s perceived “ flirtatious or I like him”
Tbh I’m the most oblivious person ever. I never pick up on social cues when a woman is in to me. If we do get together and we get round talking about it which could be a painstaking long time - she’ll say something along the lines of - oh it was the way you looked at me..
In my head I’d be like “ girl no idea what you’re talking about” or “didn’t you see the way I was looking at you “
But back to the point could it be that Pervy depends on whether or not you’re attracted to that person. If you’re attracted then it’s not and if you aren’t then it’s Pervy.
Anyhow just thinking out loud. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of my school friends has a 'new man' she is in love with. Ive only seen his pictures on facebook but he gives me the absolute creeps. Poor guy  Some people do give off an awful energy even over pictures. It's the eyes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At what age do you turn into a dirty old man? So as a mid twenties guy, I’d have accepted someone calling me filthy minded, you know. But at what time does it become acceptable to still throw out an innuendo, a flirty comment before someone gets a dirty pervert vibe and it creeps them out?….
Teenagers can be creepy. Creepy is creepy regardless of age."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It’s not even a looks thing. It’s hard to explain and other girls I work with have said the same thing about this one dude. I work in a massive warehouse with men from age 18 to 60 of all shapes and sizes but it just this one guy.
Like I wear leggings to work they’re the comfiest things but I wouldn’t walk up the stairs with him behind me buy any other person I wouldn’t even be aware of.
There’s another older guy, I don’t find him attractive at all but he’s so funny and he actually says rude things but he’s hilarious and I can talk to him for ages and he doesn’t make me feel any kind of way.
It’s nuts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah definitely. For me, it's the way a guy looks at me. Sometimes it's like I can SEE their thoughts and it makes me want to put another layer of clothes on lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think people realise how much what’s going on internally can be deciphered externally. Intuition will tell you the truth. I’ve met a lot of creeps and you can just tell by the way they hold themselves (not literally!) and the way they view/interact with others.
I always say trust your gut. Deep down you know what feels right. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah definitely. For me, it's the way a guy looks at me. Sometimes it's like I can SEE their thoughts and it makes me want to put another layer of clothes on lol"
Yes. It could be entirely innocent and completely illogical, even bordering on unfair to the person but can’t help how they make you feel.
Makes me think sometimes if our gut feelings and instincts are picking up on something under the surface cos it’s strange how some people can trigger this response when others don’t.
Again it’s not a looks thing that I’m talking about here, I could talk to 50 men on a shift and I don’t get that vibe off them, just this one guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is more for the ladies. In general everyday life and the encounters you have with men do you ever get strong pervert vibes off *some* men and others you don’t?
I’ll give an example, in work with me there this little bald guy who’s in his late 50’s and I just get pervy vibes off him, like when he says things it kinda goes through me. Now I have no evidence and he could be and most likely is a nice guy, I just can’t help the feeling I get when he talks to me.
This is nothing to do with not finding him attractive. There’s lots of men I don’t find attractive in my everyday life but they don’t make me feel a certain way when I interact with them.
It could the most innocent of comments like, you look nice today, but the eyes linger on me and I just feel he’s thinking shit in his head. Can’t help it. Then other guys, just normal guys like older gents I work with could say the same comments but I don’t get that same feeling. It’s just like a yucky feeling.
Anyone understand what I mean?"
Your gut feeling is most likely correct however I personally would be imaging all kinds of wron if I worked with or near you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah definitely. For me, it's the way a guy looks at me. Sometimes it's like I can SEE their thoughts and it makes me want to put another layer of clothes on lol
Yes. It could be entirely innocent and completely illogical, even bordering on unfair to the person but can’t help how they make you feel.
Makes me think sometimes if our gut feelings and instincts are picking up on something under the surface cos it’s strange how some people can trigger this response when others don’t.
Again it’s not a looks thing that I’m talking about here, I could talk to 50 men on a shift and I don’t get that vibe off them, just this one guy. "
You can't help how you feel. If you get that vibe, trust your instincts I say! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At what age do you turn into a dirty old man? So as a mid twenties guy, I’d have accepted someone calling me filthy minded, you know. But at what time does it become acceptable to still throw out an innuendo, a flirty comment before someone gets a dirty pervert vibe and it creeps them out?….
Teenagers can be creepy. Creepy is creepy regardless of age."
I was asking for a friend… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thinking about it, it must be really hard for ladies meeting guys on their own for the first time from here. Made me think I should take more care to take the ladies needs in to consideration. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I’ve had this feeling before it was completely new to me and put me on edge.
Went on a date and we’d been talking for a while before , he was lovely, not bad looking but there was just something made me so uneasy when I was with him I couldn’t wait to get away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thinking about it, it must be really hard for ladies meeting guys on their own for the first time from here. Made me think I should take more care to take the ladies needs in to consideration. X"
I don’t think it’s something you can control. The saying keep your thoughts to yourself won’t even apply to this situation cos it could be the thoughts that person is having when they’re in our presence that we’re picking up on.
Maybe if you meet someone and you think you fancy them, instead of imagining doing things with them think of why people put dog poo in bags but then hang them on a tree branch or think of stepping on a plug barefoot  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thinking about it, it must be really hard for ladies meeting guys on their own for the first time from here. Made me think I should take more care to take the ladies needs in to consideration. X
I don’t think it’s something you can control. The saying keep your thoughts to yourself won’t even apply to this situation cos it could be the thoughts that person is having when they’re in our presence that we’re picking up on.
Maybe if you meet someone and you think you fancy them, instead of imagining doing things with them think of why people put dog poo in bags but then hang them on a tree branch or think of stepping on a plug barefoot "
Ok my next hot date I’ll think of dog poop  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thinking about it, it must be really hard for ladies meeting guys on their own for the first time from here. Made me think I should take more care to take the ladies needs in to consideration. X
I don’t think it’s something you can control. The saying keep your thoughts to yourself won’t even apply to this situation cos it could be the thoughts that person is having when they’re in our presence that we’re picking up on.
Maybe if you meet someone and you think you fancy them, instead of imagining doing things with them think of why people put dog poo in bags but then hang them on a tree branch or think of stepping on a plug barefoot
Ok my next hot date I’ll think of dog poop "
Can imagine a nice romantic meal, sharing a chocolate cake, she’s says what are you thinking about? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think every woman will know exactly what you mean, but it is so hard to pinpoint or do anything about as they haven't done anything specific you can call out. You just know you're completely creeped out in their presence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thinking about it, it must be really hard for ladies meeting guys on their own for the first time from here. Made me think I should take more care to take the ladies needs in to consideration. X
I don’t think it’s something you can control. The saying keep your thoughts to yourself won’t even apply to this situation cos it could be the thoughts that person is having when they’re in our presence that we’re picking up on.
Maybe if you meet someone and you think you fancy them, instead of imagining doing things with them think of why people put dog poo in bags but then hang them on a tree branch or think of stepping on a plug barefoot
Ok my next hot date I’ll think of dog poop
Can imagine a nice romantic meal, sharing a chocolate cake, she’s says what are you thinking about? "
Ha ha looks like no jiggy time for me then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes totally, there are some men who give off those slimey vibes and it’s not necessarily that they are unattractive, but something about them is just off… and extremely smarmy and goey
It’s like their aura and I pick it up pretty quickly and it makes me wanna throw up a little in my own mouth when I meet these people and I just feel overall unease.
I think women should tap more into our feminine energy and really LISTEN our gut feeling and intuition. Because 99/100 it’s probably right ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A good example of this would be Robin Thicke. A good looking man but even before any stories came about him I just knew he was a creep"
What about Armie Hammer, he just gives off creepy vibes as well, guess that was also true . Him and his “cannibalistic” tendencies… 
And even so, it’s just his whole aura that feels off and like vomit green 
But I mean handsome man overall |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"I think every woman will know exactly what you mean, but it is so hard to pinpoint or do anything about as they haven't done anything specific you can call out. You just know you're completely creeped out in their presence. "
Correct. Most women would have felt this at some point. Really bad if it is in the context of work as you have to see them every day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is more for the ladies. In general everyday life and the encounters you have with men do you ever get strong pervert vibes off *some* men and others you don’t?
I’ll give an example, in work with me there this little bald guy who’s in his late 50’s and I just get pervy vibes off him, like when he says things it kinda goes through me. Now I have no evidence and he could be and most likely is a nice guy, I just can’t help the feeling I get when he talks to me.
This is nothing to do with not finding him attractive. There’s lots of men I don’t find attractive in my everyday life but they don’t make me feel a certain way when I interact with them.
It could the most innocent of comments like, you look nice today, but the eyes linger on me and I just feel he’s thinking shit in his head. Can’t help it. Then other guys, just normal guys like older gents I work with could say the same comments but I don’t get that same feeling. It’s just like a yucky feeling.
Anyone understand what I mean?"
maybe the poor bloke has seen you on here with your tits out and wishes he had a chance with you pretty much the way I’m feeling right now lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A good example of this would be Robin Thicke. A good looking man but even before any stories came about him I just knew he was a creep
What about Armie Hammer, he just gives off creepy vibes as well, guess that was also true . Him and his “cannibalistic” tendencies…
And even so, it’s just his whole aura that feels off and like vomit green
But I mean handsome man overall "
Yeah he’s always seemed creepy. A lot of the celebrities that have been outed as perverts or creeps or whatever haven’t came as a surprise really |
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'Pervert' ..........
Listen to the pots.....
From someone else's perspective the perv is you.
If anyone's senses tingle..... listen and keep your distance.
Seems this man has already been 'hung drawn and quartered' by the 'girls' who work in the very big warehouse and have already had conversations about him and labelled him.
Known as 'bullying' in employment terms.
If he's done something , 'report him'.
If he hasn't don't join in witch hunts.
I DO get vibes I don't like from others it doesn't mean I am right. It doesn't mean I can discount MY characteristics and the part they have to play in relationship dynamics.
Sometimes people are less 'pervy' than they are socially awkward.
One bloke is a pervert while another saying EXACTLY the same thing is just a lovable flirt.
Besides.... I don't know what this bloke has 'perverted' ?
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People 100% give off vibes by subtle social cues they can’t hide.
The level they are interpreted by people then comes down to attractiveness
I’d imagine it’s very hard for David Beckham to come off as creepy or pervy
I’d imagine the innocent overweight balding old man down the road comes off that way without even trying
There’s levels to it all "
Well stated and put. But there is more underlying currents within us all that hide the real truth of what we mean and say or describe.
Watch this space i shall write further on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'Pervert' ..........
Listen to the pots.....
From someone else's perspective the perv is you.
If anyone's senses tingle..... listen and keep your distance.
Seems this man has already been 'hung drawn and quartered' by the 'girls' who work in the very big warehouse and have already had conversations about him and labelled him.
Known as 'bullying' in employment terms.
If he's done something , 'report him'.
If he hasn't don't join in witch hunts.
I DO get vibes I don't like from others it doesn't mean I am right. It doesn't mean I can discount MY characteristics and the part they have to play in relationship dynamics.
Sometimes people are less 'pervy' than they are socially awkward.
One bloke is a pervert while another saying EXACTLY the same thing is just a lovable flirt.
Besides.... I don't know what this bloke has 'perverted' ?
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ? "
Nice way of putting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ? "
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps. |
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps. "
Could you see how thinking we should deny the other side of the coin when it comes down to labelling someone a pervert or a creep over an unverifiable gut feeling might be a problem? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps.
Could you see how thinking we should deny the other side of the coin when it comes down to labelling someone a pervert or a creep over an unverifiable gut feeling might be a problem? "
But does it really matter? If I choose to avoid a stranger, it doesn't really affect them, there are many other people they can know. Ultimately we all connect with people based on a gut feeling, so we should trust them. It's not hurting that person after all. |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
"This is more for the ladies. In general everyday life and the encounters you have with men do you ever get strong pervert vibes off *some* men and others you don’t?
I’ll give an example, in work with me there this little bald guy who’s in his late 50’s and I just get pervy vibes off him, like when he says things it kinda goes through me. Now I have no evidence and he could be and most likely is a nice guy, I just can’t help the feeling I get when he talks to me.
This is nothing to do with not finding him attractive. There’s lots of men I don’t find attractive in my everyday life but they don’t make me feel a certain way when I interact with them.
It could the most innocent of comments like, you look nice today, but the eyes linger on me and I just feel he’s thinking shit in his head. Can’t help it. Then other guys, just normal guys like older gents I work with could say the same comments but I don’t get that same feeling. It’s just like a yucky feeling.
Anyone understand what I mean?"
You didn’t say good or bad perverted vibes as it could mean either lol |
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps.
Could you see how thinking we should deny the other side of the coin when it comes down to labelling someone a pervert or a creep over an unverifiable gut feeling might be a problem?
But does it really matter? If I choose to avoid a stranger, it doesn't really affect them, there are many other people they can know. Ultimately we all connect with people based on a gut feeling, so we should trust them. It's not hurting that person after all."
You missed my point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Pervert' ..........
Listen to the pots.....
From someone else's perspective the perv is you.
If anyone's senses tingle..... listen and keep your distance.
Seems this man has already been 'hung drawn and quartered' by the 'girls' who work in the very big warehouse and have already had conversations about him and labelled him.
Known as 'bullying' in employment terms.
If he's done something , 'report him'.
If he hasn't don't join in witch hunts.
I DO get vibes I don't like from others it doesn't mean I am right. It doesn't mean I can discount MY characteristics and the part they have to play in relationship dynamics.
Sometimes people are less 'pervy' than they are socially awkward.
One bloke is a pervert while another saying EXACTLY the same thing is just a lovable flirt.
Besides.... I don't know what this bloke has 'perverted' ?
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ? "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps.
Could you see how thinking we should deny the other side of the coin when it comes down to labelling someone a pervert or a creep over an unverifiable gut feeling might be a problem?
But does it really matter? If I choose to avoid a stranger, it doesn't really affect them, there are many other people they can know. Ultimately we all connect with people based on a gut feeling, so we should trust them. It's not hurting that person after all.
You missed my point "
I reread your post and I'm still not sure of your point? |
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps.
Could you see how thinking we should deny the other side of the coin when it comes down to labelling someone a pervert or a creep over an unverifiable gut feeling might be a problem?
But does it really matter? If I choose to avoid a stranger, it doesn't really affect them, there are many other people they can know. Ultimately we all connect with people based on a gut feeling, so we should trust them. It's not hurting that person after all.
You missed my point
I reread your post and I'm still not sure of your point? "
I personally don’t think it’s a good idea to remove the ability to question whether someone’s a creep/pervert amd just say they 100% are, over a gut feeling, is a good thing to do.
As an above poster said, sometimes it can be social awkwardness, it could be because you don’t find them attractive, or it could be that your gut feeling is just wrong.
If you wanna follow your gut, that’s great
But to follow your gut, label them as 100% a creep/pervert, then tell other people not to question that “fact”. That’s not a path that leads anywhere nice |
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I do sometimes get the creepy vibes for no obvious reason. I put it in the same category as sometimes being introduced to someone and immediately taking an irrational dislike, thinking "well you can fuck right off".
Sometimes I'm right about it, sometimes I revise my opinion over time. Sometimes it's something really minor about them that reminds me of someone else I've known, and that's where the knee-jerk reaction comes from.
If I'm not comfortable with something they do or say I will let them know, otherwise I'll keep my feelings to myself and keep my distance as much as possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps.
Could you see how thinking we should deny the other side of the coin when it comes down to labelling someone a pervert or a creep over an unverifiable gut feeling might be a problem?
But does it really matter? If I choose to avoid a stranger, it doesn't really affect them, there are many other people they can know. Ultimately we all connect with people based on a gut feeling, so we should trust them. It's not hurting that person after all.
You missed my point
I reread your post and I'm still not sure of your point?
I personally don’t think it’s a good idea to remove the ability to question whether someone’s a creep/pervert amd just say they 100% are, over a gut feeling, is a good thing to do.
As an above poster said, sometimes it can be social awkwardness, it could be because you don’t find them attractive, or it could be that your gut feeling is just wrong.
If you wanna follow your gut, that’s great
But to follow your gut, label them as 100% a creep/pervert, then tell other people not to question that “fact”. That’s not a path that leads anywhere nice "
I would agree if I judged or labelled them that way, or told others to. But if I just politely walk away, that's my choice surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was seeing an osteopath and realised after the second session that I was so tense it wasn't helping much. I've seen two osteos before and never felt this way. Perfectly nice bloke, didn't do or say anything wrong. Objectively attractive and fit. I can't go back. I was in a room alone with him for an hour at a time and I can't shake the feeling. I won't leave a bad review, I'm just not going back.
I was gaslighted for many years. I ignored my instincts. And I won't let anyone ever tell me again that my instincts aren't spot on. |
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps.
Could you see how thinking we should deny the other side of the coin when it comes down to labelling someone a pervert or a creep over an unverifiable gut feeling might be a problem?
But does it really matter? If I choose to avoid a stranger, it doesn't really affect them, there are many other people they can know. Ultimately we all connect with people based on a gut feeling, so we should trust them. It's not hurting that person after all.
You missed my point
I reread your post and I'm still not sure of your point?
I personally don’t think it’s a good idea to remove the ability to question whether someone’s a creep/pervert amd just say they 100% are, over a gut feeling, is a good thing to do.
As an above poster said, sometimes it can be social awkwardness, it could be because you don’t find them attractive, or it could be that your gut feeling is just wrong.
If you wanna follow your gut, that’s great
But to follow your gut, label them as 100% a creep/pervert, then tell other people not to question that “fact”. That’s not a path that leads anywhere nice
I would agree if I judged or labelled them that way, or told others to. But if I just politely walk away, that's my choice surely? "
Yeah, so this doesn’t include you then? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I haven’t labelled him a pervert to anyone other than here and that just a turn of phrase to describe the feeling. I wouldn’t tell other people to call him one.
A girl I work with said to me last night about him when we were sitting in the tea room and he walked in, when he left she shuddered so I said what’s wrong and she was like him he creeps me out and I was like omg same.
So it’s not just me who gets these vibes from him. |
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps. "
Thank you so much for your response.
There shouldn't be any kind of sexual communication between colleagues in the work place and I didn't suggest there should be.
Of course There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation but you weren't there and can't possibly know what took place and once again I haven't denied any difference between those things at all or even mentioned them.
At no time did I deny that 'gut feeling' hadn't been mentioned MILLIONS of times. I said that I get gut feelings also. Gut feelings belong to the one that is feeling them and they should trust them for their own safety.
Most people who use the words Devil's Advocate understands that a Devil's Advocate usually plays first or at least early to test waters. I came in as the 'unpopular' vote after many people had already expressed their opinions.
What I put is my opinion on what I read in the O.P. and i'm glad to stand by it. That's not the action of someone playing at Devil's Advocate. I haven't asked anyone to change their own opinion.
I would voice my opinion on a thread where a man suggested a woman was a 'slut' or a 'perve' because he 'senses' it in his gut.
And I see this form of slander as no different.
I go with my gut 100 %. That doesn't make the bloke a perve.... or a danger. Just someone's DAD, SON, FATHER , HUSBAND.
Bottom line if someone creeps you out, do THEM a favour and avoid them. If they actually DO something then act on it.
BTW..... Do you work in the warehouse ?
Again B.T.W. I can recognise Devil's Advocacy almost as easily as I can recognise 'straw manning' and 'ulterior motive.' ..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dudes got a serious skill set he sounds wasted in a warehouse, the ability to create victims just with his presence alone, they should bottle that.
sure it's not just a case of ugly guy alert, i'd imagine you get the attention of all sorts of guys most days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ?
Should we be communicating in any other way but a so-called “vanilla” way in the work place?
There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation.
As has been mentioned several times in this thread, gut feeling is usually accurate. I don’t think there’s a need to play Devil’s advocate in the case of creeps.
Thank you so much for your response.
There shouldn't be any kind of sexual communication between colleagues in the work place and I didn't suggest there should be.
Of course There’s a difference between sexual intimidation/gratuitous suggestiveness and mild flirtation but you weren't there and can't possibly know what took place and once again I haven't denied any difference between those things at all or even mentioned them.
At no time did I deny that 'gut feeling' hadn't been mentioned MILLIONS of times. I said that I get gut feelings also. Gut feelings belong to the one that is feeling them and they should trust them for their own safety.
Most people who use the words Devil's Advocate understands that a Devil's Advocate usually plays first or at least early to test waters. I came in as the 'unpopular' vote after many people had already expressed their opinions.
What I put is my opinion on what I read in the O.P. and i'm glad to stand by it. That's not the action of someone playing at Devil's Advocate. I haven't asked anyone to change their own opinion.
I would voice my opinion on a thread where a man suggested a woman was a 'slut' or a 'perve' because he 'senses' it in his gut.
And I see this form of slander as no different.
I go with my gut 100 %. That doesn't make the bloke a perve.... or a danger. Just someone's DAD, SON, FATHER , HUSBAND.
Bottom line if someone creeps you out, do THEM a favour and avoid them. If they actually DO something then act on it.
BTW..... Do you work in the warehouse ?
Again B.T.W. I can recognise Devil's Advocacy almost as easily as I can recognise 'straw manning' and 'ulterior motive.' ..
"
It's not slander. Slander is damaging someone's reputation by saying something. All that's being discussed is being careful around someone because of instinct. Something women do from age 12 don't they? Be on their guard around men. That's why women have finely honed instincts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m not trying to damage his reputation or anything of the sort. I’m not discussing it with people around me or disclosing who he is. My interactions with him are very limited.
It’s just odd how some people can make us feel a certain way and was wondering if it’s something we’re subconsciously picking up on. |
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They're was a blind date sort of game show in America I think and the lady contestant won a date with one of the male contestants. After the date she said that he was creepy. Turned out he was a serial killer. Trust your instincts unless your with me obviously  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They're was a blind date sort of game show in America I think and the lady contestant won a date with one of the male contestants. After the date she said that he was creepy. Turned out he was a serial killer. Trust your instincts unless your with me obviously "
Rodney Alcala. He’s in one of my serial killer books. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a believer in following your instincts, they are there for a reason. Nobody should be telling you otherwise, your instinct to protect yourself is important.
I’ve had that feeling before, and it’s horrible. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"It’s not even a looks thing. It’s hard to explain and other girls I work with have said the same thing about this one dude. I work in a massive warehouse with men from age 18 to 60 of all shapes and sizes but it just this one guy.
Like I wear leggings to work they’re the comfiest things but I wouldn’t walk up the stairs with him behind me buy any other person I wouldn’t even be aware of.
There’s another older guy, I don’t find him attractive at all but he’s so funny and he actually says rude things but he’s hilarious and I can talk to him for ages and he doesn’t make me feel any kind of way.
It’s nuts. "
Do some people just have the looks, charm and mannerism where they mostly get away with it ? Others without those looks/social skills try similar and are just creepy ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's hard to say really. Like ut could just be a personality clash.
The fact you describe him as a little bald man means he has taken on a certain stereotype in your head.
If its justified or not nobody on this thread can say without being in both your company.
Some people are just socially awkward without being perverts though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first experience of this was as a teenager with a close friend of my father's. He was widely acknowledged as this all round good guy but he gave me the absolute creeps. I remember well on one occasion being reprimanded for being a tad impolite to him, at New Year actually when he lunged at me.
Eventually, through time, his "other" side became obvious to all. I've trusted my gut instinct from then. I can still spot a wrong 'un. |
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"This is more for the ladies. In general everyday life and the encounters you have with men do you ever get strong pervert vibes off *some* men and others you don’t?
I’ll give an example, in work with me there this little bald guy who’s in his late 50’s and I just get pervy vibes off him, like when he says things it kinda goes through me. Now I have no evidence and he could be and most likely is a nice guy, I just can’t help the feeling I get when he talks to me.
This is nothing to do with not finding him attractive. There’s lots of men I don’t find attractive in my everyday life but they don’t make me feel a certain way when I interact with them.
It could the most innocent of comments like, you look nice today, but the eyes linger on me and I just feel he’s thinking shit in his head. Can’t help it. Then other guys, just normal guys like older gents I work with could say the same comments but I don’t get that same feeling. It’s just like a yucky feeling.
Anyone understand what I mean?"
I hear this more off close FAB friends and the asking of opinions of 'what do you make of him'? |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
"Don't worry about the whys and wherefores, just trust your instincts."
Exactly this.
We second guess ourselves because we have been told to override our instincts as women since being children.. And all of us in this culture generally.
Trust your instincts. I mean, there's no need to give the guy a hard time if he hasn't acted in any way but.. Distance, boundaries and trust your gut. |
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"'Pervert' ..........
Listen to the pots.....
From someone else's perspective the perv is you.
If anyone's senses tingle..... listen and keep your distance.
Seems this man has already been 'hung drawn and quartered' by the 'girls' who work in the very big warehouse and have already had conversations about him and labelled him.
Known as 'bullying' in employment terms.
If he's done something , 'report him'.
If he hasn't don't join in witch hunts.
I DO get vibes I don't like from others it doesn't mean I am right. It doesn't mean I can discount MY characteristics and the part they have to play in relationship dynamics.
Sometimes people are less 'pervy' than they are socially awkward.
One bloke is a pervert while another saying EXACTLY the same thing is just a lovable flirt.
Besides.... I don't know what this bloke has 'perverted' ?
Some sanctified vanilla method of talking to a colleague ? "
Granny you always have all the right words! |
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