FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you like to be prewarned or find out yourself
Do you like to be prewarned or find out yourself
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Peeps, okay.. question!
Do you like to be pre warned about people you get involved with (particularly talking about potential love interests , but this applies to new friends too) or do you prefer to find out for yourself whether they are shitty people or not?
Has anything happened to you where you heard gossip or stories from others (for examples serial cheaters etc etc) but then got pleasantly surprised that they were actually real nice?
Or… did you get told… stubbornly carried on and then wished you had listened?
Genuinely curious to hear your stories x  |
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Just because one person didn’t get on with someone, it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t get on with you.
I’d always question why someone is approaching me and telling me about someone, what is their motive for doing so?
Personally, I make up my own mind about people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to make my own judgement on people. I tend not to listen to others because there’s usually a reason for someone to speak Ill of someone else. I take people on their own merit and give them a chance I guess. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'd rather decide for myself what someone is like. We all have our own confirmation biases, people we're incompatible with and rather than seeing them as being that we see them as being the Great Evil. We're fallible beings, capable of playing victim, of being upset with someone for bruised ego/jealousy etc. So yes, I tend to take it with a pinch of salt for the most part.
If there's undeniable proof that someone has been really awful, that might sway my mind if from someone close but I'd rather actually observe the person, see how they interact with myself and others and go from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have never listened to others and always prefer to find things out for myself.
One persons view is not my view. Although I will be more cautious about the person that tried to get me thinking about someone differently. They're the sort of people I don't need to associate myself with. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just because one person didn’t get on with someone, it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t get on with you.
I’d always question why someone is approaching me and telling me about someone, what is their motive for doing so?
Personally, I make up my own mind about people"
That’s very insightful actually!
Also I guess people can be different with other people x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think warning people off someone is a shitty thing to do and I think it says more about the person doing it rather than the person they are warning against.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think for my self and how people treat me
There to meny times he sed she sed bs that’s just not true
People can be spiteful and make it they life’s mission to bend the truth and make someone out to be the bad person when it was the total opposite |
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Gossip, especially where Fab is concerned, is often borne out of jealousy. I’ll take on board what someone may have said but, will always go by my own gut instinct.
p.s. If someone’s told you I actually love Jaffa Cakes, it’s a cruel lie! |
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I understand why some people feel the need to pre warm others about another's behaviour. Especially if they are a danger to others.
But on just a personality clash I'd rather find out myself. Even I acknowledge there are people who love me to bits, those who like me and there are others who would have very little positive to say about me. So why would anyone else be any different? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is not one person that can change my mind about someone. And with the fact I am now 45 I have a beard and can look into the distance and ponder - I am wise enough to have learned that there are some nasty people around that like to give there thoughts all too often for their own benefit.
So no, I like to make my own mind up, and I am eventually rewarded with knowing the true personality of people in the end anyway. 
*Reading that back (which is rare ) that’s actually profound for me.  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
There’s a difference between one person disliking someone else and warning someone for cases of personal safety.
The first happens frequently and whilst everyone considers themselves good judges of character, everyone likes different things about others, so listening to someone else on these matters is pointless (it’s also why judging someone on their verifications is futile).
The second is about warning someone of potentially abusive, manipulative or dangerous individuals. If it’s the latter, then by all means check but also consider the advice.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think warning people off someone is a shitty thing to do and I think it says more about the person doing it rather than the person they are warning against.
"
 |
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In the past there has been behaviour that I wish I’d known sooner. There are many people I would have trusted to have my interests at heart.
Just not getting on I’m not bothered about. We all like different things. But if I ever got into that situation again I’d appreciate a warning. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd rather decide for myself what someone is like. We all have our own confirmation biases, people we're incompatible with and rather than seeing them as being that we see them as being the Great Evil. We're fallible beings, capable of playing victim, of being upset with someone for bruised ego/jealousy etc. So yes, I tend to take it with a pinch of salt for the most part.
If there's undeniable proof that someone has been really awful, that might sway my mind if from someone close but I'd rather actually observe the person, see how they interact with myself and others and go from there."
Yeah I totes get it!
I mean I had undeniable proof that someone I was seeing for some time did something pretty awful and I carried on regardless, I was in too deep I guess. I mean he was very nice to me but eventually I should have really listened to the proof I had been given.
On the other hand to I also had one where I am glad I went with my guts and turns out I was right and I think it really brought us closer together.
So it can go either way and sometimes it’s kinda difficult to know whether to listen to head/heart  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Gossip, especially where Fab is concerned, is often borne out of jealousy. I’ll take on board what someone may have said but, will always go by my own gut instinct.
p.s. If someone’s told you I actually love Jaffa Cakes, it’s a cruel lie! "
Wait, don’t you love Jaffa Cakes???  |
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"Gossip, especially where Fab is concerned, is often borne out of jealousy. I’ll take on board what someone may have said but, will always go by my own gut instinct.
p.s. If someone’s told you I actually love Jaffa Cakes, it’s a cruel lie!
Wait, don’t you love Jaffa Cakes??? "
Of course he doesn't, they're cakes, and he's a biscuit dunker.... unless his kink is dunking cakes |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In the past there has been behaviour that I wish I’d known sooner. There are many people I would have trusted to have my interests at heart.
Just not getting on I’m not bothered about. We all like different things. But if I ever got into that situation again I’d appreciate a warning. "
Its such a fine line because sometimes I feel like we have to make our own mistakes as outcomes can be completely different but also when it’s like going all south. Especially say with cheaters or violent people, then yeah sometimes it is best to kinda keep things in mind…
Either way, the best voice to listen to is our little inner voice and see what she says |
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"There’s a difference between one person disliking someone else and warning someone for cases of personal safety.
The first happens frequently and whilst everyone considers themselves good judges of character, everyone likes different things about others, so listening to someone else on these matters is pointless (it’s also why judging someone on their verifications is futile).
The second is about warning someone of potentially abusive, manipulative or dangerous individuals. If it’s the latter, then by all means check but also consider the advice.
"
My thoughts exactly, and put much better than I could |
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I prefer to make my own mind up about people.
I will listen to my close friends if they have an opinion on someone but I do make my own decisions and will find out for myself. Obviously if my friends were concerned about my safety with a particular person then I would take their advice but if it was just a matter of them not liking them then I would use my own judgement. We can't all connect with the same people so it's best to find out yourself and go on your own instincts.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to get in with most people (except people that are a bit too much up their own arse.)
So I make my own mind up about people. Not everyone gets on so I don't pay much attention to others opinions on people. If I think they're ok, they're ok.
Although if I was warned about a serial cheater I'd keep things friendly or casual. X |
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"In the past there has been behaviour that I wish I’d known sooner. There are many people I would have trusted to have my interests at heart.
Just not getting on I’m not bothered about. We all like different things. But if I ever got into that situation again I’d appreciate a warning.
Its such a fine line because sometimes I feel like we have to make our own mistakes as outcomes can be completely different but also when it’s like going all south. Especially say with cheaters or violent people, then yeah sometimes it is best to kinda keep things in mind…
Either way, the best voice to listen to is our little inner voice and see what she says "
100% Chuck. Some people would use that as an opportunity to manipulate. Others have your interests at heart. I appreciate the latter. But it’s hard to know which it is. X |
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Yes I like to be warned, I can choose to make valid decisions of my own then.
However just because he treated me like shit doesn't mean that he would treat them like shit, so I wouldn't forewarn unless I were specifically asked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s different for me, I think. I tend to keep my romantic life under my hat. And online dating makes it really random - I’ve never dated someone that anyone I know knows, if that makes sense! I couldn’t see anyone that my kids didn’t like. It’s unlikely though, as I have good judgement and they’re not the kind of people who would take against someone for no reason.
If I saw someone who my friends and family didn’t like, I would struggle with that. It would be after much time and consideration that they’d be introduced, so I’d be gutted! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Online is different to most offline situations. I think it's much easier and more common for people to hide things about themselves or even be complete fakes, possibly dangerous ones. If someone I trusted knew more than me then I'd want to know, to make an informed decision at least. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tend to get in with most people (except people that are a bit too much up their own arse.)
So I make my own mind up about people. Not everyone gets on so I don't pay much attention to others opinions on people. If I think they're ok, they're ok.
Although if I was warned about a serial cheater I'd keep things friendly or casual. X"
I’ll give you my yelp review according to my ex boyfriends
“Kylie is a bitch, who cares none but herself and is extremely selfish . You could give her the moon and she will want two. Never truly happy. She is generally a horrible girl - stay the fuck away from her”
Rated 1.5/5 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I listen to others view but always make my own decisions, there are 2 sides to every story and just cause someone has been a nob head to them doesn't mean they will be to you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Gossip, especially where Fab is concerned, is often borne out of jealousy. I’ll take on board what someone may have said but, will always go by my own gut instinct.
p.s. If someone’s told you I actually love Jaffa Cakes, it’s a cruel lie!
Wait, don’t you love Jaffa Cakes???
Of course he doesn't, they're cakes, and he's a biscuit dunker.... unless his kink is dunking cakes "
He eats cakes!! Like
AND Jaffa cakes are found in the biscuit isle!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't ever pay much heed to others views on people, I prefer to take people as I find them and make up my own mind. "
That's the way roll, never listen to gossip or follow the sheep X |
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"Gossip, especially where Fab is concerned, is often borne out of jealousy. I’ll take on board what someone may have said but, will always go by my own gut instinct.
p.s. If someone’s told you I actually love Jaffa Cakes, it’s a cruel lie!
Wait, don’t you love Jaffa Cakes???
Of course he doesn't, they're cakes, and he's a biscuit dunker.... unless his kink is dunking cakes
He eats cakes!! Like
AND Jaffa cakes are found in the biscuit isle!!!! "
But ... they are Cakes!!!
HMRC confirmed that
Apparently 1 is subject to vat the other isn't |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gossip, especially where Fab is concerned, is often borne out of jealousy. I’ll take on board what someone may have said but, will always go by my own gut instinct.
p.s. If someone’s told you I actually love Jaffa Cakes, it’s a cruel lie!
Wait, don’t you love Jaffa Cakes???
Of course he doesn't, they're cakes, and he's a biscuit dunker.... unless his kink is dunking cakes
He eats cakes!! Like
AND Jaffa cakes are found in the biscuit isle!!!!
But ... they are Cakes!!!
HMRC confirmed that
Apparently 1 is subject to vat the other isn't "
Sowwyyyyyy  |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Like everything else I might have an opinion on I like to make my own mind up or find out for myself. The beauty of the human race is that we are all different therefore we all have differing view. |
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"Gossip, especially where Fab is concerned, is often borne out of jealousy. I’ll take on board what someone may have said but, will always go by my own gut instinct.
p.s. If someone’s told you I actually love Jaffa Cakes, it’s a cruel lie!
Wait, don’t you love Jaffa Cakes???
Of course he doesn't, they're cakes, and he's a biscuit dunker.... unless his kink is dunking cakes
He eats cakes!! Like
AND Jaffa cakes are found in the biscuit isle!!!!
But ... they are Cakes!!!
HMRC confirmed that
Apparently 1 is subject to vat the other isn't
Sowwyyyyyy "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Peeps, okay.. question!
Do you like to be pre warned about people you get involved with (particularly talking about potential love interests , but this applies to new friends too) or do you prefer to find out for yourself whether they are shitty people or not?
Has anything happened to you where you heard gossip or stories from others (for examples serial cheaters etc etc) but then got pleasantly surprised that they were actually real nice?
Or… did you get told… stubbornly carried on and then wished you had listened?
Genuinely curious to hear your stories x "
Interesting question. I would probably have gone with others on here and said that just because one person was scorned by that person doesn’t mean they are a bad person, after all not everyone gets on.
However, a past relationship (many years ago) I wish I had listened to his TWO ex girlfriends about his behaviour. This guy was seriously fucked in the head. And I wish I’d never fallen for him. He was not a nice person, he bragged to me that once he’d moved in with someone with all his stuff and when it went sour he was the first to contact a solicitor to get his stuff back. Unfortunately he also did things to me, like he sold my twin tub to his gran and kept the money, he threw out a lot of my VHS videos (yes I did say it was a long time ago) simply because he did not like them, along with the bookcase they were in, he had Sky installed, fortunately I could get it uninstalled as I was the missive holder. Every time he saw his “ex GF” they’d shout obscenities to each other then see who could get to the police station first… we woke up one day to find that someone had spray painted his white car with black paint and had “woman beater” all over it…. Unfortunately that was true. He never laid a finger on me. But he did do a lot of things, including MARRYING his ex (the one he’d yell at in the street)
I got to the solicitor first and when he turned up 3 hrs early the police were called, I was told to make him wait until the correct time, and they’d also send a police team down to supervise, he wasn’t allowed in my flat as he’d been threatening me, and they also escorted him to the city limits.
So I would say, if you are pre warned about someone, give it good thought as to weather or not you want to be with them as the warnings might just be justifiable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess it depends who it's coming from and what the info is.
I have mates who knew something was amis, let me find out for myself but stayed close incase it went tits up.
I pick up vibes and such rather than just whats been said so I get an idea about whether it's just gossip or not. That can go out of the window when it comes to romantic stuff so it is good to know I have mates looking out for me too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Peeps, okay.. question!
Do you like to be pre warned about people you get involved with (particularly talking about potential love interests , but this applies to new friends too) or do you prefer to find out for yourself whether they are shitty people or not?
Has anything happened to you where you heard gossip or stories from others (for examples serial cheaters etc etc) but then got pleasantly surprised that they were actually real nice?
Or… did you get told… stubbornly carried on and then wished you had listened?
Genuinely curious to hear your stories x
Interesting question. I would probably have gone with others on here and said that just because one person was scorned by that person doesn’t mean they are a bad person, after all not everyone gets on.
However, a past relationship (many years ago) I wish I had listened to his TWO ex girlfriends about his behaviour. This guy was seriously fucked in the head. And I wish I’d never fallen for him. He was not a nice person, he bragged to me that once he’d moved in with someone with all his stuff and when it went sour he was the first to contact a solicitor to get his stuff back. Unfortunately he also did things to me, like he sold my twin tub to his gran and kept the money, he threw out a lot of my VHS videos (yes I did say it was a long time ago) simply because he did not like them, along with the bookcase they were in, he had Sky installed, fortunately I could get it uninstalled as I was the missive holder. Every time he saw his “ex GF” they’d shout obscenities to each other then see who could get to the police station first… we woke up one day to find that someone had spray painted his white car with black paint and had “woman beater” all over it…. Unfortunately that was true. He never laid a finger on me. But he did do a lot of things, including MARRYING his ex (the one he’d yell at in the street)
I got to the solicitor first and when he turned up 3 hrs early the police were called, I was told to make him wait until the correct time, and they’d also send a police team down to supervise, he wasn’t allowed in my flat as he’d been threatening me, and they also escorted him to the city limits.
So I would say, if you are pre warned about someone, give it good thought as to weather or not you want to be with them as the warnings might just be justifiable "
That story about that guy is truly HORRIFYING
Glad you were safe tho and got rid in the end x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been told things by numerous people about numerous people that I really shouldn't know on here. Not that I asked for it either.
There are two sides or more to every story and the outsiders will more than likely see more sides than any of those in it. And likewise as they aren't in it won't understand it fully either. It's for the people involved to be adult and sort themselves the hell out.
I like to take people as I find them as, like it's already been said, just because someone else didn't work with them doesn't mean others other won't. The fact that someone will tell you about another in a negative way isn't a good trait in itself. Gossip, backstabbing etc doesn't make people attractive to me. Neither does groups of people that chose to boycott others based on stories. I'll stay clear of those but be civilised.
However the one thing that is very clear is that all those involved, in my personal opinion, don't act like swingers and have issues with jealousy and possessiveness, seem unable to move on in some cases and harbour grudges. Which isn't attractive either.
If I've not interacted with someone it's on my own judgement of them or we just haven't had a reason or opening to.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends who is saying what. If it comes from someone I know cares for me then that's different if it's from someone with an axe to grind but either way, I listen, reflect and act. A Pre warning won't stop me but the info is stored and it may help me recognise something that I otherwise wouldn't have processed till it was too late. Having said that, if someone had warned me off my ex, I'd still have walked right in with those rose tinted glasses... Top tip, don't listen to me |
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I prefer to find out myself about any potential meets. Anyone to attempts to interfere I just back off! I really don’t want to get involved in someone else’s drama over someone they tagged as theirs!!
I’ve been surprised more recently over the crooning of some who clearly tag people as ‘their’ friends assuming they won’t play ball with others.. it sometimes comes across as sickly  |
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I think you need to take it with context.
If one person says that they're a twat, that could just be their opinion, in fact they could actually be the problem!
However if multiple people say they're a twat... Well then you've got consistency. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have been told things by numerous people about numerous people that I really shouldn't know on here. Not that I asked for it either.
There are two sides or more to every story and the outsiders will more than likely see more sides than any of those in it. And likewise as they aren't in it won't understand it fully either. It's for the people involved to be adult and sort themselves the hell out.
I like to take people as I find them as, like it's already been said, just because someone else didn't work with them doesn't mean others other won't. The fact that someone will tell you about another in a negative way isn't a good trait in itself. Gossip, backstabbing etc doesn't make people attractive to me. Neither does groups of people that chose to boycott others based on stories. I'll stay clear of those but be civilised.
However the one thing that is very clear is that all those involved, in my personal opinion, don't act like swingers and have issues with jealousy and possessiveness, seem unable to move on in some cases and harbour grudges. Which isn't attractive either.
If I've not interacted with someone it's on my own judgement of them or we just haven't had a reason or opening to.
"
Wow, actually this is 110/100 x well said and I agree with everything you say x
You guys are smartiessss x |
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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago
Back of Nowhere and Beyond |
"There’s a difference between one person disliking someone else and warning someone for cases of personal safety.
The first happens frequently and whilst everyone considers themselves good judges of character, everyone likes different things about others, so listening to someone else on these matters is pointless (it’s also why judging someone on their verifications is futile).
The second is about warning someone of potentially abusive, manipulative or dangerous individuals. If it’s the latter, then by all means check but also consider the advice.
"
Took the words out of my brain (but put them better than I would have) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Where there’s smoke there’s fire
7 billion people on this planet. Just find another one that doesn’t have a gaggle of people warning you "
There he is!!! I was waiting for ya x |
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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago
Back of Nowhere and Beyond |
"In the past there has been behaviour that I wish I’d known sooner. There are many people I would have trusted to have my interests at heart.
Just not getting on I’m not bothered about. We all like different things. But if I ever got into that situation again I’d appreciate a warning. "
And that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I prefer to find out myself about any potential meets. Anyone to attempts to interfere I just back off! I really don’t want to get involved in someone else’s drama over someone they tagged as theirs!!
I’ve been surprised more recently over the crooning of some who clearly tag people as ‘their’ friends assuming they won’t play ball with others.. it sometimes comes across as sickly "
I totally get it and it’s kinda sickening behaviour x we aren’t In kindergarten anymore x |
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"Where there’s smoke there’s fire
7 billion people on this planet. Just find another one that doesn’t have a gaggle of people warning you
There he is!!! I was waiting for ya x "
Cut throat approach. |
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Being forewarned about someone says more abut the person doing the warning than the person of interest.
Slightly different if the person giving you a heads up is a close trusted contact.
But another party from fab I've never spoken with before, nah, they can go and piss in the wind. I can learn my own lessons. |
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"I have been told things by numerous people about numerous people that I really shouldn't know on here. Not that I asked for it either.
There are two sides or more to every story and the outsiders will more than likely see more sides than any of those in it. And likewise as they aren't in it won't understand it fully either. It's for the people involved to be adult and sort themselves the hell out.
I like to take people as I find them as, like it's already been said, just because someone else didn't work with them doesn't mean others other won't. The fact that someone will tell you about another in a negative way isn't a good trait in itself. Gossip, backstabbing etc doesn't make people attractive to me. Neither does groups of people that chose to boycott others based on stories. I'll stay clear of those but be civilised.
However the one thing that is very clear is that all those involved, in my personal opinion, don't act like swingers and have issues with jealousy and possessiveness, seem unable to move on in some cases and harbour grudges. Which isn't attractive either.
If I've not interacted with someone it's on my own judgement of them or we just haven't had a reason or opening to.
"
Agree! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Being forewarned about someone says more abut the person doing the warning than the person of interest.
Slightly different if the person giving you a heads up is a close trusted contact.
But another party from fab I've never spoken with before, nah, they can go and piss in the wind. I can learn my own lessons."
this made me laugh especially the pissing in the wind part |
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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago
Cardiff |
I've received a couple of warnings that annoyed me and that were irrelevant to me, made me question their motives.
But I do appreciate genuine care and concern for me if I am made aware of something serious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to get in with most people (except people that are a bit too much up their own arse.)
So I make my own mind up about people. Not everyone gets on so I don't pay much attention to others opinions on people. If I think they're ok, they're ok.
Although if I was warned about a serial cheater I'd keep things friendly or casual. X
I’ll give you my yelp review according to my ex boyfriends
“Kylie is a bitch, who cares none but herself and is extremely selfish . You could give her the moon and she will want two. Never truly happy. She is generally a horrible girl - stay the fuck away from her”
Rated 1.5/5
"
You're all good in my book!
My review: a truly fascinating woman that can make me smile and laugh. Also has the ability to make my heart flutter every once in while. A nice girl with a demonic sense of humour and deserves every good turn she gets.
Marks out of 10?
I'd give her one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When it comes to somebody’s safety, the report button is there for a reason. If I was concerned that they would put a member at risk, I’d post a status and warn people about speaking to that person.
However, if it’s just that I’ve not got on with somebody - I won’t say anything! At the end of the day some people connect better than others! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That story about that guy is truly HORRIFYING
Glad you were safe tho and got rid in the end x"
Thanks, it messed with me for a long time, and my trust in guys. I’ve had a few relationships since but they never last. Even now I question things and can never fully trust. Probably why I’m on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That story about that guy is truly HORRIFYING
Glad you were safe tho and got rid in the end x
Thanks, it messed with me for a long time, and my trust in guys. I’ve had a few relationships since but they never last. Even now I question things and can never fully trust. Probably why I’m on here. "
I know it’s annoying when that happens , but definitely tackling trauma with a therapist is a great way to try and move forward x I have my therapists on speed dials x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If its someone I know I'd pay a bit of attention to what they told me but Still judge for myself. Other than that I tend to make my own mind up as different people have different outlooks on life and perspective is everything.
I do pay attention to how people treat others in my presence tho as someone being nice to me but a dick to a waiter or cleaner or whatever is just a dick in general.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is interesting because there’s so many different answers.
First of all if anyone told me something about someone I’d have to think about motive first. If it was an ex yous never really know why they were saying it. I’d listen to them and be on the look out if the person presents any signs of doing what they’re accused of.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh goodness safety concerns is a whole differ ball game. "
Well of course if someone showed a newspaper saying that the person I was seeing killed some woman, I’d get the fuck out alright
I wasn’t talking those kind of scenarios |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh goodness safety concerns is a whole differ ball game.
Well of course if someone showed a newspaper saying that the person I was seeing killed some woman, I’d get the fuck out alright
I wasn’t talking those kind of scenarios "
*or killed anyone for that matter let me correct myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh goodness safety concerns is a whole differ ball game.
Well of course if someone showed a newspaper saying that the person I was seeing killed some woman, I’d get the fuck out alright
I wasn’t talking those kind of scenarios "
That’s what I thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are three sides to all stories.. I would be more put off the person doing the tattle-tailing rather than the object of their irritation
I definitely make up my own mind - and what outrages you may not even register for me and vice versa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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God this is a hard question! I find people that have to tell you about a new person coming into your life, if it's good or bad, I find myself already going in with what kind of person they are, I should have my own mind but it's just the way my brain works which I hate.
Sometimes if a person has told me that the new person is a right cow, I have been pleastanly surprised because usually I find there is a reason why the person informing me about said person has a chip on their shoulder.
For example a new lady was starting at work and was told she was after my bosses job so instantly I went into protective mode, taking a dislike to her (as I love my boss) but actually she's pretty ok and even my boss loves her.
I am trying to not listen to people.
Danish x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Peeps, okay.. question!
Do you like to be pre warned about people you get involved with (particularly talking about potential love interests , but this applies to new friends too) or do you prefer to find out for yourself whether they are shitty people or not?
Has anything happened to you where you heard gossip or stories from others (for examples serial cheaters etc etc) but then got pleasantly surprised that they were actually real nice?
Or… did you get told… stubbornly carried on and then wished you had listened?
Genuinely curious to hear your stories x "
It depends on what they’ve done. If you’ve had a petty argument with somebody then it’s none of my business.
But if you’ve received threatening and abusive language from somebody then absolutely people need to know the risks of who they’re getting involved with, as when meeting could completely turn into something else.
We’re a community and should keep each other safe without trying to stir the pot if that makes sense - out them if they need outing |
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Depends who was warning me. There’s a handful of people I’d take notice of on here and I know they wouldn’t say if there wasn’t a good reason. If someone hurt or abused me then yes I would absolutely tell that handful of people.
Having said that I don’t even tell friends who I meet so I judge all by myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd always make my own mind up, perhaps them and the person telling me just didn't click. However, I'd also not ignore what was said I'd keep it in mind too. But yea, essentially I'd make my own decision. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Life is all about the ride and the journey!!
I’d rather not know before and will always give people the benefit of the doubt instead of listening to others! |
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Apparently I have a habit of not listening to peoples advice and finding out for myself what people are really like sometimes it takes me years to work it out as is evidenced by some of my previous relationships that have gone down in fire and flames |
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I make my own judgements in the kink world as safety is paramount.
However I do respect various individuals opinions and if they indicate caution I will make my own judgements with their notes in mind.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always take people at face value and decide for myself. We all have different experiences with different people so I always give people the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. |
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There are very few people whose opinion I truly trust. If one of those people gave me a warning I would heed it. I might still get to know the person I was warned about, but there would be an element of caution there because of the warning.
Generally though I prefer to take as I find.
Since joining this site I've been warned off two people by profiles I've never otherwise interacted with, and I've met both people I was warned about and found both to be delightful. On a site like this I prefer to use my own judgement, and I tend to question the motives of someone who would rush to tell me unverified stories about a person I've met socially. |
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Not everyone connects with the same people in the same way. Someone might not like us but the next person may love us.
We speak as we find and make our own judgement on people.
It wouldn't make sense to go on other people's views and opinions. |
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