FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > One of my fantasies is to give oral while she’s sleeping

One of my fantasies is to give oral while she’s sleeping

By *ddam2018 OP Man over a year ago

Clacton

One of my fantasies is to give oral while she’s sleeping (hairy pussy preferred but not essential)

Il be using two fingers mouth and tongue only, unless she provides toys or vibrator..

I will be slowly licking with long tongue strokes and kissing around her vulva outer labia to stimulate her vaginal clitoris head, (I call this magic pearl) her hormones will cause a rise in blood pressure allowing her to ejaculate more than once, I wanna hear her moan and watch her legs shake while she carries on having multiple orgasms.. At the same time I will be wanking my hard cock enjoying the taste of her juices.

... guarantee happy wet dreams.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds good to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sounds good to me

It's a favourite of mine too lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/10/21 03:23:30]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless she's told you to wake her up like that it's not on!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Unless she's told you to wake her up like that it's not on!"

My wife has given me consent to wake her up however I want so no issues here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As long as prior consent is given, rock on!

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By *xydadbodMan over a year ago

Milton keynes

Was gonna say that. A prior warning beforehand may be the best way otherwise you may find a kick to the head early in the morning lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm sorry, I don't understand what 'prior consent' means. If she's already in bed with me, having fallen asleep after our passionate tryst, do I really need to seek prior consent to awaken her in this gentle manner?

I'm not being facetious, I really am confused about this. In my experience, doing the slightly unexpected is what enhances the experience. Surely she would be able to say 'stop' if she didn't enjoy it when she does awaken.

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what 'prior consent' means. If she's already in bed with me, having fallen asleep after our passionate tryst, do I really need to seek prior consent to awaken her in this gentle manner?

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying."

Being woken like that would freak me out if I’m honest.

Being woken from sleep is a specific thing, for me anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying."

Same vice verse done to the man. Whilst sleeping awoken with cock & balls in her mouth.

What a nice " rise n shine wake up call " hmmmmm yum yum..

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple over a year ago

A place where others reside (nr Oxford)

[Removed by poster at 23/10/21 06:48:21]

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple over a year ago

A place where others reside (nr Oxford)

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying."

A prior sexual encounter does not give you any right, privilege or passage to any future sexual activity regardless of whether it's a one night stand or with your wife or husband

The unexpected certainly does heighten things but being asleep is definitely a risky area here. Her waking to say stop means that any 'violations' that are interpreted from your spontaneous burst of passion would suggest that a criminal offence had already been completed.

The same goes either way, prior sexual encounter or not. It doesn't have to be verbalised but it does have to be trusted that it would be given rather than assumed just because he/she is lying in bed naked next to you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying."

Yes you should atleast of had a conversation about it at some point.

I don't like being woken up at all but wouldn't enjoy this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Being woken like that would freak me out if I’m honest.

Being woken from sleep is a specific thing, for me anyway."

Ah, I see. I never gave it a second thought before.

If being woken from sleep is an issue also, I can understand this would quite jarring.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In reality, she’s probably thinking ‘oh do fuck off and let me sleep’.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Same vice verse done to the man. Whilst sleeping awoken with cock & balls in her mouth.

What a nice " rise n shine wake up call " hmmmmm yum yum..

Precisely. For this reason, I never thought about how it might be quite jarring for a woman perhaps.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake "

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I'm sure people wouldn't be batting an eyelid if it was a woman posing that she wants to wake her partner up with a BJ.

Something I've read many times on here and it hasn't sparked this debate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sure people wouldn't be batting an eyelid if it was a woman posing that she wants to wake her partner up with a BJ.

Something I've read many times on here and it hasn't sparked this debate.

Is this just down to there being a difference between men and women though?

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

Sounds like a nightmare

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By *luebell888Woman over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Unless she's told you to wake her up like that it's not on!

My wife has given me consent to wake her up however I want so no issues here"

So why is this still only a fantasy?.

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By *dalisqueWoman over a year ago

land of make believe

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake "

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake.

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

A prior sexual encounter does not give you any right, privilege or passage to any future sexual activity regardless of whether it's a one night stand or with your wife or husband

So every time my wife and I have sex we are supposed to ask if I have their permission and what maybe sign a consent form?

That really stops spontaneous fun and the whole point of being married where trust is the foundation of the relationship.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake."

Ohhh what are you baking?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

A prior sexual encounter does not give you any right, privilege or passage to any future sexual activity regardless of whether it's a one night stand or with your wife or husband

I think on the basis that she has consented to a sexual encounter and most likely, had enjoyed the same act prior to her falling asleep with you in the same bed would be some form of trust, hence consent to being open to further acts that she would not deem to be assault. If she awoke and said stop whilst I persisted, that would be unacceptable.

Being asleep is not being intoxicated by alcohol or synthetic chemicals. What would be the difference between this act and one where I press my erection against her from behind whilst she were asleep and for her to awaken with me between her thighs?

If I had to seek prior consent for such acts having already established some sort of trust by having fallen asleep together after some passion, the effect would be woefully detumescent. Surely, you can feel the trust. Must I verbalise the act prior to trying it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Yes you should atleast of had a conversation about it at some point.

I don't like being woken up at all but wouldn't enjoy this. "

It's a good point not liking being awoken to this. However, if you have trusted someone to have spent the night with him/her and they woke you this way, would you be angry or offended that they had assumed you might like it? Would it be more likely that you would tell them to stop because you don't like it.

The thing is, it may not be something I would have thought of doing beforehand. I may not have even thought I would stay the night but passions overwhelmed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake "

My God, you're a hard man to please.

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By *dalisqueWoman over a year ago

land of make believe

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake.

Ohhh what are you baking? "

Some special brownies for my son and daughter in law,chocolate flapjack for my grandchildren, a lemon meringue pie for after dinner tonight (I have guests) and some steak and redwine pies as they were requested.

What is your favourite thing to eat?

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

My God, you're a hard man to please.

A man has needs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In reality, she’s probably thinking ‘oh do fuck off and let me sleep’."

For fear of that reason alone, I probably wouldn't try it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sure people wouldn't be batting an eyelid if it was a woman posing that she wants to wake her partner up with a BJ.

Something I've read many times on here and it hasn't sparked this debate.

Is this just down to there being a difference between men and women though? "

And that's a good point. As I've said above, I assumed women would enjoy it the way men tend to without giving it another thought. In my experience, I've been lucky that they do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

A prior sexual encounter does not give you any right, privilege or passage to any future sexual activity regardless of whether it's a one night stand or with your wife or husband

There is such a thing a non-consensual sex even in a marriage or any long term relationship. To be woken during a sexual act that you have not been conscious for at the beginning will mean that you are performing a non-consensual act.

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By *dalisqueWoman over a year ago

land of make believe

"In reality, she’s probably thinking ‘oh do fuck off and let me sleep’.

For fear of that reason alone, I probably wouldn't try it.

I have told many men that I share this fantasy but I wake early so they have never had the opportunity.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

My God, you're a hard man to please.

A man has needs

You're right there, especially first thing in the morning!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake.

Ohhh what are you baking?

What is your favourite thing to eat? "

I think he's on his way to yours now.

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple over a year ago

A place where others reside (nr Oxford)

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

A prior sexual encounter does not give you any right, privilege or passage to any future sexual activity regardless of whether it's a one night stand or with your wife or husband

So every time my wife and I have sex we are supposed to ask if I have their permission and what maybe sign a consent form?

That really stops spontaneous fun and the whole point of being married where trust is the foundation of the relationship.

I said the consent had to be trusted and not assumed. I'm sure many married couples have an understanding (as do we) that being woken with sexual acts is perfectly OK but the consent is not assumed just because we are husband and wife.

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By *eandHim2019Couple over a year ago

preston

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

A prior sexual encounter does not give you any right, privilege or passage to any future sexual activity regardless of whether it's a one night stand or with your wife or husband

So every time my wife and I have sex we are supposed to ask if I have their permission and what maybe sign a consent form?

That really stops spontaneous fun and the whole point of being married where trust is the foundation of the relationship.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

"If I had to seek prior consent for such acts having already established some sort of trust by having fallen asleep together after some passion, the effect would be woefully detumescent. Surely, you can feel the trust. Must I verbalise the act prior to trying it?"

I understand your thought process but unfortunately your feeling of trust isn’t the same as hers and assuming it is wrong.

If it was me, I’d wake her with a hot cup of coffee and then have a discussion about waking her with sex in future. It’s always risky though because it’s going to be “assumed” consent until she wakes up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Yes you should atleast of had a conversation about it at some point.

I don't like being woken up at all but wouldn't enjoy this.

The thing is, it may not be something I would have thought of doing beforehand. I may not have even thought I would stay the night but passions overwhelmed."

Yes I would be because we'd already have some from of friendship to be in that situation which would mean we'd of already had the conversation that I don't like it. So then they've done something without my consent.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Being asleep is not being intoxicated by alcohol or synthetic chemicals. What would be the difference between this act and one where I press my erection against her from behind whilst she were asleep and for her to awaken with me between her thighs?

Indeed, there is. However, if there is a level of trust and exploration expected within the relationship, whether short term or long, I would expect there to be some form of acceptance that we may explore to a certain degree, just as I would assume that pushing my hardness between her legs is something she may consent to whilst she is asleep.

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By *eandHim2019Couple over a year ago

preston

Well the next time the misses wakes me with my cock in her mouth im going to tell her

Yessssss more

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake.

Ohhh what are you baking?

What is your favourite thing to eat? "

Flippin heck - I’m yours, take me now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In reality, she’s probably thinking ‘oh do fuck off and let me sleep’.

For fear of that reason alone, I probably wouldn't try it.

I have told many men that I share this fantasy but I wake early so they have never had the opportunity.

Now, I don't know whether to use

in sympathy or

. Either way, hugs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Somnophilia is an acquired taste!

So I'm pretty sure OP would of done all the required checklist before-hand ....

Think he's just here to see if anyone else is into it

I am OP.

Never role played it yet - but I do find it a turn on!

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple over a year ago

A place where others reside (nr Oxford)

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

A prior sexual encounter does not give you any right, privilege or passage to any future sexual activity regardless of whether it's a one night stand or with your wife or husband

Then you risk being woefully mistaken. Sex the night before does not imply consent for anything the morning after whatsoever. Especially more troublesome in casual encounters, especially on the first night.

If she awoke to you doing anything sexual that she was uncomfortable with then the act is complete and subsequently any matching sexual offences that go with it.

Alcohol/Drugs can often be a catalyst for these situations but they don't have to be and someone who is asleep is in no better a position to consent than someone who is intoxicated, medically ill or physically/mentally unable to provide consent.

I never said it had to be verbalised but it does have to be trusted. A snuggle and spoon whilst dozing that leads to an invitational bum wiggle or the first kiss of the morning is a lot different to starting oral/intercourse with someone who is still not fully awake.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I understand your thought process but unfortunately your feeling of trust isn’t the same as hers and assuming it is wrong.

Ah, I see your point.

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By *dalisqueWoman over a year ago

land of make believe

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake.

Ohhh what are you baking?

What is your favourite thing to eat?

I think he's on his way to yours now.

I'm good at sharing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Assumptions can be very dangerous. We can all assume things and those assumptions can be wrong. The difference with this is that you are assuming constant based on previous activity and consent.

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By *dalisqueWoman over a year ago

land of make believe

"In reality, she’s probably thinking ‘oh do fuck off and let me sleep’.

For fear of that reason alone, I probably wouldn't try it.

I have told many men that I share this fantasy but I wake early so they have never had the opportunity.

Now, I don't know whether to use

in sympathy or

. Either way, hugs."

I just need a better calibre of men than I have had in the past

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By *ollycouple71Couple over a year ago

manchester

"In reality, she’s probably thinking ‘oh do fuck off and let me sleep’."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Yes you should atleast of had a conversation about it at some point.

I don't like being woken up at all but wouldn't enjoy this.

The thing is, it may not be something I would have thought of doing beforehand. I may not have even thought I would stay the night but passions overwhelmed.

I agree with you, absolutely. If you've already said you don't like it, yet they still do it, is unacceptable. That thought process would be akin to people who tell you 'but you've never had it done by me', isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying."

Actually, I'd still want you to check with me, even if we'd had sex, and I would really not like being woken up like this. Me consenting to sex the night before, while awake and able to give you little cues about whether I liked it, is very different to you then doing something while I'm sleeping that we haven't discussed at all.

It doesn't have to be done in a "will you give consent" way that might kill the romance. You could have talked previously about whether she found the idea hot, for example. In which case I'd say no, and then you'd know.

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By *dalisqueWoman over a year ago

land of make believe

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake.

Ohhh what are you baking?

What is your favourite thing to eat?

Flippin heck - I’m yours, take me now

I genuinely need someone who I can fill with treats

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Poor OP forgot to type (I give her consent)

Would of been a different thread then and probably a few sexy ideas thrown in by people ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well come over and let me wake you up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You'd only do this sort of sex play with someone you'd trust with your life....

I think it's kinda obvious, it's not for a casual encounter.

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By *histle do nicelyMan over a year ago

Glasgow South

"In reality, she’s probably thinking ‘oh do fuck off and let me sleep’."
.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake.

Ohhh what are you baking?

What is your favourite thing to eat?

Flippin heck - I’m yours, take me now

I genuinely need someone who I can fill with treats

* Grabs car keys and a bib*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lovely fantasy and all that but I always need a wee when I wake up

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By *eandHim2019Couple over a year ago

preston

"You'd only do this sort of sex play with someone you'd trust with your life....

I think it's kinda obvious, it's not for a casual encounter.

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The emotionally intelligent people really stand out on this thread

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By *dalisqueWoman over a year ago

land of make believe

"One of my fantasies is for her to creep downstairs while I’m sleeping and bake me a cake

Exactly what I have been doing this morning, only creeping because it is early though.There is never anyone to wake.

Ohhh what are you baking?

What is your favourite thing to eat?

Flippin heck - I’m yours, take me now

I genuinely need someone who I can fill with treats

* Grabs car keys and a bib*

Just follow your nose

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By *irkby coupleCouple over a year ago

Kirkby

Just out of interest, how many women sleep on their back with their legs wide enough for a man to climb between and go face first?

My partner has given me oral first thing in the morning, but not woken me with oral because he needs to wake me up to reposition my body.

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By *orthern StarsCouple over a year ago

Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying."

Yes you still need consent. I know of a case where a couple were in bed together, her pregnant with his baby. He touched her when she was asleep and started to have sex and he was done for r-ape

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Then you risk being woefully mistaken. Sex the night before does not imply consent for anything the morning after whatsoever. Especially more troublesome in casual encounters, especially on the first night.

If she awoke to you doing anything sexual that she was uncomfortable with then the act is complete and subsequently any matching sexual offences that go with it.

I am speaking of a consenting adult, fully cognisant of her consent without being inhibited by factors such as alcohol and medical or mental incapacity.

Whilst she may be asleep, hence unaware at the time, whether it is oral stimulation or thrusting my erection between her legs, it could be deemed to be assault by your definition. 'A snuggle and spoon whilst dozing that leads to an invitational bum wiggle' is precisely that, "whilst dozing". If she were asleep, by your definition, can I safely say that she wants an erect penis trust between her legs? How is this different from a tongue on her clit? A tongue on her clit whilst dozing may be deemed an invitation to more also.

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Do that to me without talking about it first and all its liable to get you is drop kicked out of my bed, it's an emotional trigger for me from a past relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Assumptions can be very dangerous. We can all assume things and those assumptions can be wrong. The difference with this is that you are assuming constant based on previous activity and consent. "

You have a good point. My assumptions are based on the fact that I have never had casual encounters and I think I find this aspect difficult to understand. However, some of you have pointed out what my assumptions are and it fair enough.

This is why I stick around the Forum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In reality, she’s probably thinking ‘oh do fuck off and let me sleep’.

For fear of that reason alone, I probably wouldn't try it.

I have told many men that I share this fantasy but I wake early so they have never had the opportunity.

Now, I don't know whether to use

in sympathy or

. Either way, hugs.

I just need a better calibre of men than I have had in the past

Nah, I'm sure they were of sound clibre. You need to rise later or they earlier.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

The bit that really stands out is that you’re making all kinds of reasons up why it’s fine but it’s still only something that *you* want to do, which you’re turning into “that makes it fine”

There’s a YouTube video about Consent and Tea which is worth a watch

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If she awoke to you doing anything sexual that she was uncomfortable with then the act is complete and subsequently any matching sexual offences that go with it.

I am speaking of a consenting adult, fully cognisant of her consent without being inhibited by factors such as alcohol and medical or mental incapacity.

Because whilst dozing she is conscious. The other is non consensual sexual act. I’m trying to put this nicely without using the R word

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Ah, I see. Thanks. It's like someone said earlier, a cup of coffee and asking if you might've liked being awoken that way could get quite steamy in itself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Poor OP forgot to type (I give her consent)

Would of been a different thread then and probably a few sexy ideas thrown in by people ....

A very good point. I must admit to being caught out by the consent notion also. I always felt it was an intimate way to wake a woman and I certainly never sought consent for it but they loved it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You'd only do this sort of sex play with someone you'd trust with your life....

I think it's kinda obvious, it's not for a casual encounter.

Another good point. I've never had a casual encounter, hence I think I took the trust for granted but it's very eye opening for me to have had the consent issue raised.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Lovely fantasy and all that but I always need a wee when I wake up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow this escalated

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Yes you still need consent. I know of a case where a couple were in bed together, her pregnant with his baby. He touched her when she was asleep and started to have sex and he was done for r-ape"

Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

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By *ost SockMan over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I love the idea of coming in from work, shouting “hi, honey I’m home”, giving her a hug and a kiss from behind and going for it on the kitchen table.

I’ve always worried that it might be unwanted though - she’s had a bad day in the office, or something. She is conscious, and able to say “no” at any point, though. Just saying “let’s….” at the start would be possible too.

Feels a very different scenario when it’s someone who’s asleep, even a long-term partner. It’s perfectly possible to have non-consenual sex with someone you’ve been with 40 years.

I guess it might be possible to say - “look, I love the idea of sticking my tongue up yer foof while you’re still asleep sometime. How do you feel about that?”. Still a bit of a tricky area though.

It’s all a bit academic - I don’t have a wife or partner to come home and ravish. I come in from work and slump in a chair watching Pointless

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Yes you still need consent. I know of a case where a couple were in bed together, her pregnant with his baby. He touched her when she was asleep and started to have sex and he was done for r-ape

Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so."

Any form of sexual contact without clear consent is a sexual offence. If you are having sex with someone, conscious or not, that hasn’t given clear consent for that act you will been charged with r-ape. Including those married or in long term relationships.

What you are saying here is that just because she didn’t so no, then that’s ok.

Or needs to come from the opposite way. Unless it’s a yes, then it’s a no.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

"Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so."

That’s the wrong way around. Saying nothing means “no”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do that to me without talking about it first and all its liable to get you is drop kicked out of my bed, it's an emotional trigger for me from a past relationship. "

This, I can understand, but I don't think anyone would do this from a casual encounter. I suppose my inexperience with them and my not even thinking I'd ever want one without getting to know the woman first gave me assumptions that the trust is already there. I didn't think from a casual encounter perspective.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And then hopefully she says I’m mid moan bring your cock here and let me suck it !!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so.

That’s the wrong way around. Saying nothing means “no”"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation."

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so.

That’s the wrong way around. Saying nothing means “no”"

I beg to differ. They were clearly in a relationship by mere fact that she is in bed with the father of the child. I think that level of relationship can assume some consent as a couple. Women who don't want to be touched when pregnant would need to say 'no' to their regular partner.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just out of interest, how many women sleep on their back with their legs wide enough for a man to climb between and go face first?

My partner has given me oral first thing in the morning, but not woken me with oral because he needs to wake me up to reposition my body."

Good point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do that to me without talking about it first and all its liable to get you is drop kicked out of my bed, it's an emotional trigger for me from a past relationship.

Stop assuming things. Plus also if someone comments and mentions that the subject matter causes emotional triggers then don’t push the subject further with them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation "

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The emotionally intelligent people really stand out on this thread

In your opinion of course, without judging a stranger the ones that aren't?

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

My ex partner who I lived with use to do this to me and honestly it just pissed me off it was usually his fingers tho. And to be woken up with that happening quite often had the opposite effect to what he wanted. And even tho we spoke about it he still ignored what I said and continued to do it even tho o had told him other ways to wake me like touching my back kissing my neck etc but nope Just because he liked being woken with me touching his dick he couldn't understand why I hated being woken being fingered and it would have been the same had it been oral for me . And I'm not a prude by any means but it doesn't do it for me.

I'm sure plenty of other women would enjoy to be woken this way but it doesn't work for me I like my sleep as well

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By *tarflyLouWoman over a year ago

Preston

"Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so.

That’s the wrong way around. Saying nothing means “no”

I’ve been married for 19 years, but if I woke up and my husband was having sex with me then I’d be upset and furious!

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By *etcplCouple over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"So every time my wife and I have sex we are supposed to ask if I have their permission and what maybe sign a consent form?

That really stops spontaneous fun and the whole point of being married where trust is the foundation of the relationship.

The defendant (A) has the responsibility to ensure that (B) consents to the sexual activity at the time in question. It will be important for the police to ask the suspect in interview what steps (s)he took to satisfy him or herself that the complainant consented in order to show his or her state of mind at the time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The bit that really stands out is that you’re making all kinds of reasons up why it’s fine but it’s still only something that *you* want to do, which you’re turning into “that makes it fine”

There’s a YouTube video about Consent and Tea which is worth a watch"

Who are you addressing?

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

"Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so.

That’s the wrong way around. Saying nothing means “no”

It’s a common assumption, but not true. You don’t have to believe me, but that case in law proves it.

I think more awareness about entitlement is a good thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white."

Correct. The OP never implied it was being done without consent. That bandwagon was jumped on quickly by others.

As has been said 'I'd love to wake my partner by giving him a blowjob' would have resulted in a very different thread

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Do that to me without talking about it first and all its liable to get you is drop kicked out of my bed, it's an emotional trigger for me from a past relationship.

Even in a relationship this is a big no from me unless discussed and he knows that, just because I'm in a relationship with them doesn't mean it's a free for all with my body. Waking to find my ex having sex with me was pretty downright unnerving for many reasons I won't go into.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white.

Correct. The OP never implied it was being done without consent. That bandwagon was jumped on quickly by others.

As has been said 'I'd love to wake my partner by giving him a blowjob' would have resulted in a very different thread "

The OP never mentioned he was going to wake her at any point. Do it while she was sleeping and give her wet dreams

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

There’s a YouTube video about Consent and Tea which is worth a watch

Who are you addressing?"

It was you, my bad for the snipping the conversation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Assumed consent as you are in a relationship……

Very dodgy ground there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So every time my wife and I have sex we are supposed to ask if I have their permission and what maybe sign a consent form?

That really stops spontaneous fun and the whole point of being married where trust is the foundation of the relationship.

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By *tarflyLouWoman over a year ago

Preston

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white.

Correct. The OP never implied it was being done without consent. That bandwagon was jumped on quickly by others.

As has been said 'I'd love to wake my partner by giving him a blowjob' would have resulted in a very different thread "

You’re right, he didn’t imply, he made it quite clear “while she’s sleeping”

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By *orthern StarsCouple over a year ago

Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel

Unless I've misunderstood it to mean seeking prior consent from someone I hadn't had a sexual encounter with prior to falling asleep together in bed, then that goes without saying.

Yes you still need consent. I know of a case where a couple were in bed together, her pregnant with his baby. He touched her when she was asleep and started to have sex and he was done for r-ape

Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so."

There were no other issues at all. He tried to have sex when she was asleep. In law that is r-ape as she wasn't awake to consent. Cold hard facts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so.

That’s the wrong way around. Saying nothing means “no”

I’ve been married for 19 years, but if I woke up and my husband was having sex with me then I’d be upset and furious!"

Well of course that's the point about kinks/sex. It's knowing your partner and what works ....

The OP is just wanting to talk about it not ask advice if he's to do that act randomly ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white.

Correct. The OP never implied it was being done without consent. That bandwagon was jumped on quickly by others.

As has been said 'I'd love to wake my partner by giving him a blowjob' would have resulted in a very different thread

The OP never mentioned he was going to wake her at any point. Do it while she was sleeping and give her wet dreams"

Yes but you have seen several people comment that it is also a fantasy for them. None of them said anything about consent not being part of the equation.

Within 5 posts people were talking about r*pe. It is a legitimate discussion but it's taken over the thread and diverted it.

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By *tarflyLouWoman over a year ago

Preston

"Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so.

That’s the wrong way around. Saying nothing means “no”

I’ve been married for 19 years, but if I woke up and my husband was having sex with me then I’d be upset and furious!

Well of course that's the point about kinks/sex. It's knowing your partner and what works ....

The OP is just wanting to talk about it not ask advice if he's to do that act randomly ....

I realise that, I was just responding to the reply where he stated that unless the woman specifically told her partner no to sex whilst she was asleep then the fact that they’re married and sharing a bed was enough to imply consent for doing it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white.

Correct. The OP never implied it was being done without consent. That bandwagon was jumped on quickly by others.

As has been said 'I'd love to wake my partner by giving him a blowjob' would have resulted in a very different thread

The OP never mentioned he was going to wake her at any point. Do it while she was sleeping and give her wet dreams

Yes but you have seen several people comment that it is also a fantasy for them. None of them said anything about consent not being part of the equation.

Within 5 posts people were talking about r*pe. It is a legitimate discussion but it's taken over the thread and diverted it. "

The thread opened up a discussion which seems to of be had in quite an adult way. Isn’t this how conversations go sometimes?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white.

Correct. The OP never implied it was being done without consent. That bandwagon was jumped on quickly by others.

As has been said 'I'd love to wake my partner by giving him a blowjob' would have resulted in a very different thread

The OP never mentioned he was going to wake her at any point. Do it while she was sleeping and give her wet dreams

Yes but you have seen several people comment that it is also a fantasy for them. None of them said anything about consent not being part of the equation.

Within 5 posts people were talking about r*pe. It is a legitimate discussion but it's taken over the thread and diverted it. "

Welcome to anything that's kink related in the forums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Surely, there must have been other issues here. It can't be that he had sex with her whilst she were asleep unless she had, specifically, forbade him from doing so.

That’s the wrong way around. Saying nothing means “no”

Being in bed with someone proves nothing and why does the woman have to say no to their partner after they've tried it on? There's so many assumptions in that paragraph.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white.

Correct. The OP never implied it was being done without consent. That bandwagon was jumped on quickly by others.

As has been said 'I'd love to wake my partner by giving him a blowjob' would have resulted in a very different thread

The OP never mentioned he was going to wake her at any point. Do it while she was sleeping and give her wet dreams

Yes but you have seen several people comment that it is also a fantasy for them. None of them said anything about consent not being part of the equation.

Within 5 posts people were talking about r*pe. It is a legitimate discussion but it's taken over the thread and diverted it.

The thread opened up a discussion which seems to of be had in quite an adult way. Isn’t this how conversations go sometimes? "

You don't see that if a woman had posted something similar then it wouldn't have headed in this direction?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Let's say concent was given by your partner via whatever means. I'm trying to think along a contract kind of concent. Written, signed and delivered. Would that contract stand up if your partner was to simply say "I changed my mind".

There is also the scenario of, let's say after a nice night and you fall asleep. You wake up and start to touch while your partner is asleep. Is that done with concent. Bit too much overthinking, I need coffee.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow this escalated

No, it didn't.

I see people who discussed the issue like mature adults. I don't see anyone ridiculing anyone else for asking questions or challenging another's opinion. Surely that's not escalation.

It went from 'I have a fantasy' to 'Don't sexually abuse people' in record time

That's escalation

Well, sometimes there’s a thin line. Not everything is black and white.

Correct. The OP never implied it was being done without consent. That bandwagon was jumped on quickly by others.

As has been said 'I'd love to wake my partner by giving him a blowjob' would have resulted in a very different thread

The OP never mentioned he was going to wake her at any point. Do it while she was sleeping and give her wet dreams

Yes but you have seen several people comment that it is also a fantasy for them. None of them said anything about consent not being part of the equation.

Within 5 posts people were talking about r*pe. It is a legitimate discussion but it's taken over the thread and diverted it.

The thread opened up a discussion which seems to of be had in quite an adult way. Isn’t this how conversations go sometimes?

You don't see that if a woman had posted something similar then it wouldn't have headed in this direction?"

Not for me personally. Consent needs to be given both ways

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Let's say concent was given by your partner via whatever means. I'm trying to think along a contract kind of concent. Written, signed and delivered. Would that contract stand up if your partner was to simply say "I changed my mind".

Nope, it would be not with standing as consent can be drawn at any time....you can be in the middle of penetrative sex and have the right to withdraw consent..