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Performance anxiety
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By *arty84Man
over a year ago
Orpington |
Yes but in an opposite kinda way, I have no problem being fully erect, but I can't orgasm if I'm nervous or have something else on my mind.
which sucks as I don't get to finish and end up feeling a mix of disappointment and embarrassment.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Honestly, no amount of size or stamina can compete with someone who has genuine desire and enthusiasm for pleasing you. "
thats really lovely to hear  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me no, but that's because I feel socials are very important. They break down those barriers of nerves and anxiety , at least for me, and should sex/intimacy occurs if feels more organic a connection for which I know, no nerves occur because we're just happy being with each other in any capacity.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I suffered from porn induced erectile dysfunction be careful with porn guys honesty... Im now just anxious an cant just be in the moment cos im always in my head |
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Suffer with it in general! I think we can all feel pressure at times to an extent? I mean if you perform well and get nice compliments it makes you nervous to keep a high standard, So i guess we can all overthink in certain situations. If you like someone it shouldn't matter if they have off days anyway! Could be a number of reasons why they are.  |
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"I suffered from porn induced erectile dysfunction be careful with porn guys honesty... Im now just anxious an cant just be in the moment cos im always in my head"
It's fake even the moaning screams! Hahaha
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"I suffered from porn induced erectile dysfunction be careful with porn guys honesty... Im now just anxious an cant just be in the moment cos im always in my head It's fake even the moaning screams! Hahaha "
That's why if you are at least going to watch porn, the amateur stuff is closest to reality and better for your general view on porn vs Real life.
Not that there is zero fakeness on some amateur stuff, just overall its more realistic and grounded. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
And yes, I have had issues.
Keeping an erection (no problem it starting), and a few other times when I was able to keep up just fine but could not finish.
Was during an extremely emotional and stressful period of my life.
That passed and everything returned to normal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot…very embarrassing…esp with straight swap wife would be yelling with delight and I either came too fast or went soft. Hence the progression to cuckolding…everyone much happier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depending on how i feel, I can lose a stiffy if there is no kissing, or electrical charge in the moment, and it just becomes banging a vagina. I enjoy sex with feeling most of the time unless I have a few days of cum weighing down on the ol ball bag 
But not down to anxiety I wouldn't say |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"A lot…very embarrassing…esp with straight swap wife would be yelling with delight and I either came too fast or went soft. Hence the progression to cuckolding…everyone much happier."
That’s interesting. In a couple I always do separate room swap and the people I meet on that scene are quite different , generally straight females, not into same room sex , body piles or sex in clubs etc and the whole ED thing does seem less of an issue. |
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"Has anyone ever suffered with performance anxiety? "
Yes. My first play in a club, in an open area with a couple, I was doing fine until I looked round and saw the crowd watching, then Mr Deflated Balloon made an appearance…..  We still had a nice play though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone ever suffered with performance anxiety? "
Generally no but I do a bit if I'm really nervous and trying something new.....or up to no good where I shouldn't be and hearing lots of distracting noises! |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Don’t confuse or try and hide proper erectile dysfunction with PA.
Some men will try and use PA as an excuse and not get themselves seen by a GP, which could lead to other issues not being identified. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don’t confuse or try and hide proper erectile dysfunction with PA.
Some men will try and use PA as an excuse and not get themselves seen by a GP, which could lead to other issues not being identified."
im allclear at the gp ive been its hard to get attracted to real women because i was addicted to porn for years |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
A number of times previously I’ve felt like I’ve had to ‘carefully manage’ my performance, which has led to a little anxiety at the time but nothing that’s lasted or made me worry again after.
However, I’m currently in a fairly hefty drought (coming up to three years, in earnest) so getting back into it in either a club or private meet is worrying me at the moment.
Nothing to do with people being around or watching, to be fair that seems hot  , only not wanting to let anyone down. |
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"A number of times previously I’ve felt like I’ve had to ‘carefully manage’ my performance, which has led to a little anxiety at the time but nothing that’s lasted or made me worry again after.
However, I’m currently in a fairly hefty drought (coming up to three years, in earnest) so getting back into it in either a club or private meet is worrying me at the moment.
Nothing to do with people being around or watching, to be fair that seems hot , only not wanting to let anyone down. "
I'd say just tell them. Most will understand. Not quite as long obviously but one of my partners was worried the first time after all the lockdowns because it had been so long but I would say its a bit unfair to expect a marathon performance in those circumstances . |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Its quite common and many things cause it, there's quite a lot of pressure on men to perform unfortunately "
100% this.
Unfortunately I’ve seen it far too many times where the expectation and blame is placed entirely on the shoulders of guys, it’s also all over some profiles; guys must be X or do Y.
I’ve also seen it on threads or heard it from people.
It takes two people to have good sex |
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"Yes but in an opposite kinda way, I have no problem being fully erect, but I can't orgasm if I'm nervous or have something else on my mind.
which sucks as I don't get to finish and end up feeling a mix of disappointment and embarrassment.
"
Snap, thought it was only me. It's such a concern it's actually put me off meeting with people because, as you say, it leads to embarrassment and a lot of questions/feelings of inadequacy by partners etc. It's a bit shite to be honest, just gotta work through it though I suppose!  |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"A number of times previously I’ve felt like I’ve had to ‘carefully manage’ my performance, which has led to a little anxiety at the time but nothing that’s lasted or made me worry again after.
However, I’m currently in a fairly hefty drought (coming up to three years, in earnest) so getting back into it in either a club or private meet is worrying me at the moment.
Nothing to do with people being around or watching, to be fair that seems hot , only not wanting to let anyone down.
I'd say just tell them. Most will understand. Not quite as long obviously but one of my partners was worried the first time after all the lockdowns because it had been so long but I would say its a bit unfair to expect a marathon performance in those circumstances . "
I’d make it clear, just as I’ve not hidden on the forums; not everyone is going to be receptive unfortunately.
I do appreciate your reassurance that it’s probably a minority. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being new around the idea of swinging this is one of the reasons we want to have a few socials first, and then atleast if anything more happens we won't get stage fright. |
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As been said before, too much pressure is put on guys to perform. I’m not meeting a seal or expecting a show and if I just wanted a cold pounding, I can use Mr 6 for that at home.
There are two people in the room and it should be a fun relaxed time for both people. If for any reason things aren’t quite going to plan, don’t make a big thing of it, reassure them it’s not a problem, don’t start analysing why. Take a step back and just chat, be close to each other, relax in each other’s company.
How a woman reacts does play a huge part on how the evening may progress or indeed how that man will feel another time with a woman. Maybe think how you would feel (female) if it was you, we are lucky when it happens to us it’s not so visible, a bit of understanding goes a long way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As been said before, too much pressure is put on guys to perform. I’m not meeting a seal or expecting a show and if I just wanted a cold pounding, I can use Mr 6 for that at home.
There are two people in the room and it should be a fun relaxed time for both people. If for any reason things aren’t quite going to plan, don’t make a big thing of it, reassure them it’s not a problem, don’t start analysing why. Take a step back and just chat, be close to each other, relax in each other’s company.
How a woman reacts does play a huge part on how the evening may progress or indeed how that man will feel another time with a woman. Maybe think how you would feel (female) if it was you, we are lucky when it happens to us it’s not so visible, a bit of understanding goes a long way. "
This   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All the time!! I enjoy pleasure very much but am always in my own head and find it hard to truly “let go” "
thats my issue too i need to relax an get out of my head think i need to find someone who understands an i can get comfortable with
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