FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men who think women should reply…
Men who think women should reply…
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Personally for us if In our case a women deletes our message we take the “HINT” and follow suit, but we get the ones who message us and are very keen, swap pics and say we all like etc…Then they just read our message, we may send another message, again it gets read and no response…but we just delete and move on, no point being rude or pestering anyone…you have to laugh at people who do…they get all huffy puffy and wank themselves to sleep.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do you think they should, other than ‘manners’
Also, do you reply to men if they message you? "
Yep on both this profile and my single profile I reply to every message received |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me personally a “no thanks” is all it takes and very appreciated however I know this isn’t the same for all men on fab   "
But do you reply to men if they message you?
Do you think women ‘should’ reply? |
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I don’t think they ‘should’ reply it’s their choice. I think it’s perhaps polite to say no thanks of the approach is considered, but not if it’s the usual mass send tripe.
I appreciate due to sheer volume it’s perhaps completely impractical to do so though.
I do as I say so if a male messaged me in a considered way I will reply but not if it’s a mass one liner job |
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I don't expect anyone to reply to my messages or forum posts, but if anyone does, it does give me a small moment of happiness, even if it is a rejection.
But as soon as you start expecting it, you open yourself up to disappointment and bitterness that will in the end make your fab experience worse.
Not replying is not rude. FAB should be fun for everyone, and replying to 100s of messages a day only to get more abuse is not fun.
If you don't get a reply, respect the situation the recipient may be in and move on. If no reply really upsets you that much, then how upset would you be getting loads of rejections? |
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OOI (sorry if I'm hijacking the thread a bit HC), for everyone that would appreciate a 'no thanks' message, if FAB built in a button to delete and send an automatic no thanks message, would you be happier?
Does it 'really' make any difference, as surely you understand either way that there is no interest? |
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We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been really busy recently and have had some abuse from afew women that have messaged because ive shown as online and not replied. I just cant see the point in nastiness  |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Ive been really busy recently and have had some abuse from afew women that have messaged because ive shown as online and not replied. I just cant see the point in nastiness "
What did the ducks say??? |
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"Ive been really busy recently and have had some abuse from afew women that have messaged because ive shown as online and not replied. I just cant see the point in nastiness
What did the ducks say???"
Ducks can talk ??? |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Ive been really busy recently and have had some abuse from afew women that have messaged because ive shown as online and not replied. I just cant see the point in nastiness
What did the ducks say???
Ducks can talk ??? "
Quack quack
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been really busy recently and have had some abuse from afew women that have messaged because ive shown as online and not replied. I just cant see the point in nastiness
What did the ducks say???"
Quuuaaaaaaaaaaaack translated to 'give me bacon' |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Ive been really busy recently and have had some abuse from afew women that have messaged because ive shown as online and not replied. I just cant see the point in nastiness
What did the ducks say???
Quuuaaaaaaaaaaaack translated to 'give me bacon' "
 not Turkey? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wish I could reply to everyone, but the truth is I can’t. Not without relinquishing parental, work and all other responsibilities! It would just take too long. I do feel guilty about it though, and do reply when I can ... particularly when the message is well thought out and personalised to me. Anything that says ‘hi’ or ‘hey gorgeous’ is totally ignored. I have neither the time nor inclination for boring and unimaginative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s everyone’s prerogative as if they want to reply or not.
Some people should accept that but I can sympathise with those who find it hard too accept it due to just wanting to know the reason behind the no reply.
I personally reply to everyone (yes, even propositioned by men), even if just saying no thank you.
I have unread messages in my sent box and do I think that they’ve been deleted? Absolutely but I keep them in there as a reminder to then not double message or in actual fact the benefit of the doubt is given and they are legitimately left unread and I may soon receive the reply I’ve been waiting days or weeks for… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a hard one because most women on here possibly get 1000+ messages a day from a males pov i would like a no thanks or not interested but at the same time i wouldnt fancy replying to hundreds of messages a day just saying no  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am rubbish at replying I'll admit, but at the same time I've messaged guys and not had a reply. I usually forget it in about 5mins. At the end of the day you are a stranger online, you aren't owed anything. |
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I was raised to be polite so I do answer nice messages
the not so nice ones go in the bin and the sender gets blocked.
Having said that, it's difficult sometimes to keep up when theres' more than 40 messages sent on the same day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not impolite to not reply to unsolicited messages.
Surely if that’s the case, sending unsolicited messages is equally as impolite as not replying.
I reply to those I’m interested in. I used to reply and say “No thanks but good luck in your search” but then the abuse, threats and harassment started so I stopped. I also state on my profile that I reply to those I’m interested in.
Nobody is obliged to reply to any unsolicited message in any platform. It doesn’t make you any less of a kind person. |
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I don't think anyone is obliged to reply.
I'm not looking to meet men but do enjoy conversation with all sorts of people.
I nearly always reply, but the response to some is becoming increasingly sarcastic  |
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"I am rubbish at replying I'll admit, but at the same time I've messaged guys and not had a reply. I usually forget it in about 5mins. At the end of the day you are a stranger online, you aren't owed anything. "
This /\
Why do people need a 'no thanks'?
Surely the lack of reply says this in and of itself.
I don't reply if I'm not interested. I don't see the point of getting into a conversation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply to as many as I can but I can’t reply to them all, it’s not feasible.
This has resulted in the same group of guys, messaging on a daily basis with a “good morning” etc etc, trying to build some kind of connection (even though I’ve told them I’m not interested) but they aren’t rude so I don’t want to block them or tell them to get lost.
It’s a tough one. Politeness has not worked in my favour on here many times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one should feel obliged to reply to messages. Being polite or not has nothing to do with it.
It is often easier to not reply
1) fab states no reply is a not interested
2) even a no thanks reply for some people means that you have entered into a conversation with them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me personally a “no thanks” is all it takes and very appreciated however I know this isn’t the same for all men on fab
But do you reply to men if they message you?
Do you think women ‘should’ reply?"
I don’t think anyone is obliged to reply but I find it respectful but no I don’t reply to men because I don’t get messages from them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am rubbish at replying I'll admit, but at the same time I've messaged guys and not had a reply. I usually forget it in about 5mins. At the end of the day you are a stranger online, you aren't owed anything.
This /\
Why do people need a 'no thanks'?
Surely the lack of reply says this in and of itself.
I don't reply if I'm not interested. I don't see the point of getting into a conversation.
"
Most people who need a “no thanks” in my opinion use it to then ask why or try and push the person to change their mind.
A lot of people would have a better time on Fab if they deleted their sent box and stopped worrying about who has read/deleted their message. |
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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago
Redhill |
No expectation on a reply at all, women get literally hundreds of messages, so if there's no reply it's no big deal and blokes should have the self respect and confidence to take the hint.
Nobody has a divine right to a response, we aren't contacting Amazon to report a faulty delivery after all. Though all faulty deliveries should be avoided in a place like this anyway...
As for blokes, if the message is polite then I'll respond. If it's some seedy whack job inviting himself in a sentence to suck my cock, then it's ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t expect replies. Sometimes I purposely write a message that has no need for a reply unless the person I’m writing to wants to write back. It’s nice to get a reply but quite often I’m just paying compliments.
I did reply to guys before I filtered their messages out. I need no convincing as to why some people don’t reply to men, we can be persistent, bitter, childish and rude, not to mention atrocious at spelling. As always it’s up to the recipient if they want to or not. |
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I don't think any body SHOULD do anything. However, a simple "no thanks" seems an expedient way to let someone know you have seen, considered and refused the offer.
If you get grief afterwards, a block and forget policy is perfectly understandable.
I never approach someone on here for sex. I open a conversation with an idea to get to know them. If I give a compliment and get a simple "Thanks" back, I know they are politely saying no. It means I could possibly message them again (if on the forums etc.) but will not pursue.
I know not every one is like this and everyone has to look after their time and health on here as they need.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think any body SHOULD do anything. However, a simple "no thanks" seems an expedient way to let someone know you have seen, considered and refused the offer.
"
But some of us have it on our profile that if we aren’t interested we won’t reply, that should be enough.
But as we know, many don’t read profiles on here and yet they expect their message to be read and replied to. |
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Most men who complain about this don't really want a 'no thanks'
Their ego gets hurt by the rejection, and what they really want is a chance to try to continue the conversation, or to be the one to do the rejecting.
The solution for getting bruised egos is to take this site *far less seriously* - getting deleted or blocked is not automatically a personal insult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most men who complain about this don't really want a 'no thanks'
Their ego gets hurt by the rejection, and what they really want is a chance to try to continue the conversation, or to be the one to do the rejecting.
The solution for getting bruised egos is to take this site *far less seriously* - getting deleted or blocked is not automatically a personal insult. "
Perfectly put.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Most men who complain about this don't really want a 'no thanks'
Their ego gets hurt by the rejection, and what they really want is a chance to try to continue the conversation, or to be the one to do the rejecting.
The solution for getting bruised egos is to take this site *far less seriously* - getting deleted or blocked is not automatically a personal insult. "
This is kind of what I was thinking. It just surely go deeper than ‘manners? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza "
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it. |
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"Most men who complain about this don't really want a 'no thanks'
Their ego gets hurt by the rejection, and what they really want is a chance to try to continue the conversation, or to be the one to do the rejecting.
The solution for getting bruised egos is to take this site *far less seriously* - getting deleted or blocked is not automatically a personal insult.
This is kind of what I was thinking. It just surely go deeper than ‘manners?"
Playing devils advocate, women always say I have so many messages I can’t read them all, so sorry, mass delete.
Is the at a no thanks?
I know you can’t say no thanks to everyone but surely if someone has taken time to write a decent message out of the hundreds of rubbish ones, and if you truly have read it and thought no thanks, is it much more work to reply?
If they ignore and carry on then of course delete block etc but I am sure if they were minded enough to approach respectfully they would also be respectful of your reply |
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"I don't think any body SHOULD do anything. However, a simple "no thanks" seems an expedient way to let someone know you have seen, considered and refused the offer.
But some of us have it on our profile that if we aren’t interested we won’t reply, that should be enough.
But as we know, many don’t read profiles on here and yet they expect their message to be read and replied to. "
And that is a completely different thing. I always read profiles if I message someone...unless it is from the forums...and would be aware of this.
If they can't comply with your expectations, why should you with theirs.
I understand anyone who blocks on this basis. Everyone should do what is best for them on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most men who complain about this don't really want a 'no thanks'
Their ego gets hurt by the rejection, and what they really want is a chance to try to continue the conversation, or to be the one to do the rejecting.
The solution for getting bruised egos is to take this site *far less seriously* - getting deleted or blocked is not automatically a personal insult.
This is kind of what I was thinking. It just surely go deeper than ‘manners?
Playing devils advocate, women always say I have so many messages I can’t read them all, so sorry, mass delete.
Is the at a no thanks?
I know you can’t say no thanks to everyone but surely if someone has taken time to write a decent message out of the hundreds of rubbish ones, and if you truly have read it and thought no thanks, is it much more work to reply?
If they ignore and carry on then of course delete block etc but I am sure if they were minded enough to approach respectfully they would also be respectful of your reply "
What is a “decent message” though? Sometimes I can have hundreds of “decent messages” as you say, so should I reply to them all because they’re decent?
It absolutely is much more work to reply when you’ve got say 500 messages and 350 are “decent”.
A “No thanks” does nothing for anybody. If the message is deleted they’re probably not interested, send a second one a few days later and if it’s deleted again then it’s pretty much a given that they’re not into you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it. "
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Most men who complain about this don't really want a 'no thanks'
Their ego gets hurt by the rejection, and what they really want is a chance to try to continue the conversation, or to be the one to do the rejecting.
The solution for getting bruised egos is to take this site *far less seriously* - getting deleted or blocked is not automatically a personal insult.
This is kind of what I was thinking. It just surely go deeper than ‘manners?
Playing devils advocate, women always say I have so many messages I can’t read them all, so sorry, mass delete.
Is the at a no thanks?
I know you can’t say no thanks to everyone but surely if someone has taken time to write a decent message out of the hundreds of rubbish ones, and if you truly have read it and thought no thanks, is it much more work to reply?
If they ignore and carry on then of course delete block etc but I am sure if they were minded enough to approach respectfully they would also be respectful of your reply "
If I get a genuine compliment, then I will usually reply with a simple thank you.
I don’t tend to do this if they live very close to me though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My filters stop guys messaging me, woman and men replying is up to the individual.
If a woman replies to me and says they are not interested, I always thank them for taking the time to reply and I wish them well |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
I let others choose how they manage their profiles, I expect nothing in my inbox that way anything is a brucie.
Men may wish to message me,
I use the sites tools so i don't receive messages from genders I'm not interested in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad "
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad "
No, that’s not bad at all. It’s totally normal x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book. "
It wasn’t message bombing , I waited some weeks before attempting another well composed message then nowt so block became the resolution  |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book.
It wasn’t message bombing , I waited some weeks before attempting another well composed message then nowt so block became the resolution "
Ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book.
It wasn’t message bombing , I waited some weeks before attempting another well composed message then nowt so block became the resolution
Ok"
Who put a penny in you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book.
It wasn’t message bombing , I waited some weeks before attempting another well composed message then nowt so block became the resolution "
I never mind another message, as long as they aren’t bombarding me, it’s easy for messages to get lost. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
No, that’s not bad at all. It’s totally normal x"
Good good |
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"Why do you think they should, other than ‘manners’
Also, do you reply to men if they message you? "
Because I am a sex god!
Magical fingers, a golden tongue, and a penis of bewildering rhythms and contortions.
Plus I make a nice cup of Earl Grey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book.
It wasn’t message bombing , I waited some weeks before attempting another well composed message then nowt so block became the resolution
I never mind another message, as long as they aren’t bombarding me, it’s easy for messages to get lost. "
Nor do I.
A block means you can’t have a perv either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OOI (sorry if I'm hijacking the thread a bit HC), for everyone that would appreciate a 'no thanks' message, if FAB built in a button to delete and send an automatic no thanks message, would you be happier?
Does it 'really' make any difference, as surely you understand either way that there is no interest? "
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book.
It wasn’t message bombing , I waited some weeks before attempting another well composed message then nowt so block became the resolution
I never mind another message, as long as they aren’t bombarding me, it’s easy for messages to get lost. "
This is generally what I try to do and the main reason why I dont always delete sent messages if they have been unread. Once it's been read, that's different no response to an unread/deleted message is a clear no interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
the first 6 years of being on fab we replied to everyone but as time went on and the males joining went to overdrive the abuse /rudeness got too much and not forgetting the why not ... so we went the stone cold route and only reply to those whi interest us the rest deleted / blocked ===no abuse no more rude or why nots .. so it works
in the old days of fab was 50 ish messages a day if looking to meet now its 200 to 400 or more alot less when not looking but sorry im not going to answer all them just not enought time in my already very busy day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It would be lovely to have a reply, but hey, I understand why people choice not too!!
I've seen the rude, abusive and downright pointless messages that people send on here 
So yeah, who wants an endless round of "no thank you", "why not", "I'm not interested", insert more trying to win person around or abuse etc etc
Me personally, yeah I respond to pretty much everyone. And usually with the same level of effort they have put into their message. But I get maybe 3 or 4 messages on a busy week so it's far easier for me to send a reply
Sorry for the rather long and waffling reply |
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"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book.
It wasn’t message bombing , I waited some weeks before attempting another well composed message then nowt so block became the resolution
I never mind another message, as long as they aren’t bombarding me, it’s easy for messages to get lost.
This is generally what I try to do and the main reason why I dont always delete sent messages if they have been unread. Once it's been read, that's different no response to an unread/deleted message is a clear no interest. "
I do similar, but use the private notes to register how they responded and what to. So then I always check that before messaging again, but no one is ever blocked.
I've had it so that someone who hadn't responded to two messages over a year has just contacted me and wants to meet. She just hadn't seen the messages. If I'd have blocked, that would never have happened. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
Sometimes I reply to messages in my head only and forget to actually write anything. I do that off fab as well. Does anyone else do that? I am sure that’s why I don’t always get replies, it’s not that I have bored them surely? (But probably). |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"We wouldn’t expect a reply off a single female if she doesn’t want to…we would never follow it up with another message. We put a note on their profile to say not responded.
We do say on our profile that we’ll reply to messages that have made an effort. If they haven’t or send dick pics or are vulgar they just get deleted.
But we wouldn’t expect everyone to do FAB as we do so there’s no one rule fits all.
No one is entitled to a response, as a lot of the time it’s unsolicited mail and no one responds to the pizza flyer…only if they desire pizza
It’s worth having another punt sometimes though if the message shows as unread; your message may be lost in amongst many others and if it’s slipped down the pages and then mass deleted…. Who knows; they may reply if they actually saw it.
I have done this before but it got to the point where I found myself blocking the non responders not because I’m bitter or upset but so I don’t come across the profile again and get drawn into attempting to message again
Is that bad
Message bombing the profile is bad but a few messages a few days apart is ok in my book.
It wasn’t message bombing , I waited some weeks before attempting another well composed message then nowt so block became the resolution
I never mind another message, as long as they aren’t bombarding me, it’s easy for messages to get lost.
This is generally what I try to do and the main reason why I dont always delete sent messages if they have been unread. Once it's been read, that's different no response to an unread/deleted message is a clear no interest.
I do similar, but use the private notes to register how they responded and what to. So then I always check that before messaging again, but no one is ever blocked.
I've had it so that someone who hadn't responded to two messages over a year has just contacted me and wants to meet. She just hadn't seen the messages. If I'd have blocked, that would never have happened. "
Exactly.
On my profile I say "If I send you a message, and you decide you have zero interest in even chatting to me, just delete the message and block me. Makes it easier for us both."
I've had women look at the message, look at my profile, and ignore that request but make no attempt to contact me again.
I don't actually care if they do or not act on the request, but the point I'm making here is it is not just a trait of men that will not read, or ignore what a profile says. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do you think they should, other than ‘manners’
Also, do you reply to men if they message you? "
Also for chaps who think we should reply, do you still think this if you’ve sent a message despite getting the big warning triangle saying “this person is not looking for you” when you try to message ? |
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I don’t care if someone doesn’t reply, that’s entirely up to them though does grind me when I put “just delete if not interested” and then they leave it read and Undeleted so I don’t know whether they’re not keen or just busy and going to reply later  it’s like they’re just toying with me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes I reply to messages in my head only and forget to actually write anything. I do that off fab as well. Does anyone else do that? I am sure that’s why I don’t always get replies, it’s not that I have bored them surely? (But probably). "
I do this all the time haha.
I’m always doing it to family and friends on WhatsApp! |
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I personally don't think a women should reply if she not interested .just saying no thanks might not seem big issue but saying no thanks 500plus times a wk gets pretty tiring .sure if she's interested she will reply x |
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The trouble with sending the polite "no thanks" is that as soon as you respond to someone, they can message you regardless of what you set your filters to. I think this is something many who expect a rejection response forget. By replying "no thanks" to everyone, we're essentially rendering message filters useless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It would be nice to get a reply but appreciate it's not always feasible if they have to wade through loads of messages. Essentially, they don't know me either so could think they're open to abuse if they do reply so I'm not bothered about not having my messages replied to.
It has had me doubting myself though to the point I've stopped sending the first message, meaning the only potential for meets is if someone else finds me attractive first |
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"The trouble with sending the polite "no thanks" is that as soon as you respond to someone, they can message you regardless of what you set your filters to. I think this is something many who expect a rejection response forget. By replying "no thanks" to everyone, we're essentially rendering message filters useless. "
I'm confused Lacey....wouldn't they have already messaged anyway?
So would have somehow got around filters if the filters were applicable to them! |
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"The trouble with sending the polite "no thanks" is that as soon as you respond to someone, they can message you regardless of what you set your filters to. I think this is something many who expect a rejection response forget. By replying "no thanks" to everyone, we're essentially rendering message filters useless.
I'm confused Lacey....wouldn't they have already messaged anyway?
So would have somehow got around filters if the filters were applicable to them!"
Oh, Annabell21 - be still my beating heart.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful profile.
M
|
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"The trouble with sending the polite "no thanks" is that as soon as you respond to someone, they can message you regardless of what you set your filters to. I think this is something many who expect a rejection response forget. By replying "no thanks" to everyone, we're essentially rendering message filters useless.
I'm confused Lacey....wouldn't they have already messaged anyway?
So would have somehow got around filters if the filters were applicable to them!"
I mean if you're currently looking to meet so haven't got message filters set but say down the line you're not currently looking to meet so decide to block single men for a quieter inbox, all the ones you replied "no thanks" to will still be able to message you. If you replied no thanks to everyone, that's a lot of people who can still message . |
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"The trouble with sending the polite "no thanks" is that as soon as you respond to someone, they can message you regardless of what you set your filters to. I think this is something many who expect a rejection response forget. By replying "no thanks" to everyone, we're essentially rendering message filters useless.
I'm confused Lacey....wouldn't they have already messaged anyway?
So would have somehow got around filters if the filters were applicable to them!
Oh, Annabell21 - be still my beating heart.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful profile.
M
"
Ah.. you made me chuckle!
Be still my throbbing **** 
Likewise I'm sure |
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"The trouble with sending the polite "no thanks" is that as soon as you respond to someone, they can message you regardless of what you set your filters to. I think this is something many who expect a rejection response forget. By replying "no thanks" to everyone, we're essentially rendering message filters useless.
I'm confused Lacey....wouldn't they have already messaged anyway?
So would have somehow got around filters if the filters were applicable to them!
I mean if you're currently looking to meet so haven't got message filters set but say down the line you're not currently looking to meet so decide to block single men for a quieter inbox, all the ones you replied "no thanks" to will still be able to message you. If you replied no thanks to everyone, that's a lot of people who can still message . "
Oh..got you lol
Thanks Lacey....in my defence it is late |
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"The trouble with sending the polite "no thanks" is that as soon as you respond to someone, they can message you regardless of what you set your filters to. I think this is something many who expect a rejection response forget. By replying "no thanks" to everyone, we're essentially rendering message filters useless.
I'm confused Lacey....wouldn't they have already messaged anyway?
So would have somehow got around filters if the filters were applicable to them!
I mean if you're currently looking to meet so haven't got message filters set but say down the line you're not currently looking to meet so decide to block single men for a quieter inbox, all the ones you replied "no thanks" to will still be able to message you. If you replied no thanks to everyone, that's a lot of people who can still message .
Oh..got you lol
Thanks Lacey....in my defence it is late "
That is quite okay |
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"Why do you think they should, other than ‘manners’
Also, do you reply to men if they message you? "
Because if they don’t, they’ll be forever wondering what fantastic reply they might have got had they done so. It reminds me of a little poem in ‘The Magicians Nephew’ which reads:…
”Make your choice, adventurous Stranger,
Strike the bell and bide the danger,
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had.”
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just wondering, am I rude not to reply to men who describe in graphic detail of what they want?
Because I'm thinking if it's not polite to not reply, should I still be polite to that sort of message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering, am I rude not to reply to men who describe in graphic detail of what they want?
Because I'm thinking if it's not polite to not reply, should I still be polite to that sort of message? "
No |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering, am I rude not to reply to men who describe in graphic detail of what they want?
Because I'm thinking if it's not polite to not reply, should I still be polite to that sort of message? "
I don’t think it’s rude to not reply at all, but especially if they send that.
Where’s the consent, the discussion on your likes and dislikes? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering, am I rude not to reply to men who describe in graphic detail of what they want?
Because I'm thinking if it's not polite to not reply, should I still be polite to that sort of message?
No "
Definitely not... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do you think they should, other than ‘manners’
Also, do you reply to men if they message you? "
We reply to almost everyone.
What more confuses me that many women and some couples have developed this habit of going silent on messages . Some or read and some unread.
They sit on the conversation for days.when you can see them online for hours everyday .
What do you make of it ?
Does that mean, they don't want to chat or talk anymore ? |
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For me, if someone has taken the time to message me (unless it’s just a ‘hi’) I’ll always make the effort to reply.
Admittedly, I’m aware women in particular are sent a huge amount of messages, so I get that there’s way too many to reply to.
But it is always nice to get a reply - it’s usually not expected |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, if someone has taken the time to message me (unless it’s just a ‘hi’) I’ll always make the effort to reply.
Admittedly, I’m aware women in particular are sent a huge amount of messages, so I get that there’s way too many to reply to.
But it is always nice to get a reply - it’s usually not expected "
But you send nice messages though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I get so few messages I reply to them all. I tend to follow the following personal rules for messages I send.
1. Message read & deleted = they're not interested so move on.
2. Message read & not replied = leave it a week and if message not deleted or replied take it they have so many that they're not interested and move on.
3. Message not read = after a week, delete it from my sent box.
No point chasing rainbows you'll never catch, life's too short to waste the energy and you might miss out on the one that will reply.
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No one is required to do anything on here
I state it clearly in my profile though. I take an opened and Unreplied to message as a polite no Thankyou and to thin out my search results I always block them.
So while your not required to do anything, opening a message and thinking “I’ll reply to that later” might not work out. |
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"For me, if someone has taken the time to message me (unless it’s just a ‘hi’) I’ll always make the effort to reply.
Admittedly, I’m aware women in particular are sent a huge amount of messages, so I get that there’s way too many to reply to.
But it is always nice to get a reply - it’s usually not expected
But you send nice messages though "
Thank you…I’m not gonna send nasty ones I’ve always said, it costs nothing to be polite |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"For me, if someone has taken the time to message me (unless it’s just a ‘hi’) I’ll always make the effort to reply.
Admittedly, I’m aware women in particular are sent a huge amount of messages, so I get that there’s way too many to reply to.
But it is always nice to get a reply - it’s usually not expected
But you send nice messages though
Thank you…I’m not gonna send nasty ones I’ve always said, it costs nothing to be polite "
Yes you are nice xxxxc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do you think they should, other than ‘manners’
Also, do you reply to men if they message you?
We reply to almost everyone.
What more confuses me that many women and some couples have developed this habit of going silent on messages . Some or read and some unread.
They sit on the conversation for days.when you can see them online for hours everyday .
What do you make of it ?
Does that mean, they don't want to chat or talk anymore ?"
It doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to chat. I often come online to do other things than check my inbox. I might want the relative comfort of a crowd of people in the forum rather than the one to one conversations in my inbox, or it could be something as simple as I'm adding, deleting or moving pictures.
If I was chatting with someone and that happened without any apparent reason, I'd probably drop them a line to check everything was ok and make sure they'd not lost the conversation, accidentally deleted the messages (that's too easy to do on here!), I suppose it also depends on how far into messaging you are too?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m happy to reply to people who match my requirements whether it’s a yes or no. (Not that I get many)
Other than that, they get deleted. 4 messages this morning have gone straight into the bin. It’s easy to understand why women who are getting tons more messages than me just don’t bother reading, never mind responding.
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