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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A koala bear walks into a brothel picks out the best looking girl and heads upstairs with her.
While up there he eats her out like a madman doing things she's never even heard of.
After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.
The girl stops him and demands payment.
The bear doesn't understand. She has him look up prostitute in the dictionary, a person who trades sex for money. Still a little confused he asks what does it say about me.
Koala bear, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex, my wife screamed at me. I'm really disappointed.
You can hardly blame me, I answered. It's not like I was getting any from you.
Well, that's your own fault, she replied. You never told me you were willing to pay for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Crawled back into bed feeling ill and sorry for myself. Any funny or dirty jokes to give me a giggle?  "
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
My girlfriend says shes splitting up with me because of my obsession with the monkees..
At first I didn't believe her..and then I saw her face.
My wife says to pack my things and to get out she says I'm obsessed with only fools and horses..
I'll get the suitcase from the van.
I went to the Drs.. "what seems to be the problem?" Asks the Dr..
"I can't stop singing delilah or the green green grass of home" i replied..
"Hmmmm" said the Dr.."you've got Tom Jones syndrome!!".….."never heard of it "is it rare?"..I asked..
"Its not unusual" |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
A man walks into a doctor’s office.
He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.
“What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at him and replies, “You’re not eating properly.”
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Went to the docs to talk about premature ejaculation.
Showed her my cock and said, “I’m a bit premature”
She said, “you certainly are, I’m the receptionist” |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
A man goes to his doctor with a shocking cold, continually coughing and spluttering.
His doctor accidentally prescribes him a laxative instead of the cough medicine he needs.
Three days later the man returns for a check-up and the doctor asks, “Well? Are you still coughing?”
The man replies, “No, I’m afraid to.”  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went to the docs to talk about premature ejaculation.
Showed her my cock and said, “I’m a bit premature”
She said, “you certainly are, I’m the receptionist”"
 |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
An old lady goes to the doctor. She mentions that no matter what when she farts, they are always silent and don’t smell. To illustrate her point, she lets one go.
Old lady: “See, Doctor, it was silent, and I don’t smell anything.”
Doctor: “I see, I am going to give you a prescription, then I want you to come back in a week and see how you are progressing.”
One week later, the old lady comes back.
Old lady: “I don’t know what you gave me, doc, but now my farts smell horrible!”
Doctor: “Great! Now that we fixed your sinuses, we can work on your hearing.”
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