FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It’s only harassment if…
It’s only harassment if…
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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… they’re not attractive.
Like if a guy made a sexually suggestive comment to me and I found him super hot I’d have a flirt back with him. If however he wasn’t attractive then I’d be offended, like how dare he fucking approach me in that way.
I am not wrong here. Think about situations in the real world where you’ve let things slide when you’ve been attracted to someone but zero tolerance when you weren’t.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep, definitely agree with this. Had a few uncomfortable convos with her ladyship around this pointing out the difference in her reaction to comments from different guys in work.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s because you are receptive to the other party. That’s the same as consensual sex, if you find someone attractive u would consent to sex
"
Good example |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm quite sure there's been research done and those who are deemed more attractive get treated more pleasantly/with more leeway than those who aren't.
Can't remember where I saw it tho."
It's a true fact a male who finds 1 female more attractive than another will make the less attractive female work harder than the attractive female |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So true. I had 2 friends at uni with very similar personalities and sense of humour. One was a good looking guy and the other was fugly. The good looking guy would get laughs and girls would flirt and respond to compliments and innuendo, the other guy got called a creep.
Lots of girls say personality and sense of humour is attractive, but it's only if they're physically attractive too. |
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I have seen this happen with others, personally not with me but this is down to my historical abuse, I tend to get on my righteous high horse regardless of their attractiveness if anything they say gets my back up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"… they’re not attractive.
Like if a guy made a sexually suggestive comment to me and I found him super hot I’d have a flirt back with him. If however he wasn’t attractive then I’d be offended, like how dare he fucking approach me in that way.
I am not wrong here. Think about situations in the real world where you’ve let things slide when you’ve been attracted to someone but zero tolerance when you weren’t.
"
This is because being offended IS a choice. simple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So true. I had 2 friends at uni with very similar personalities and sense of humour. One was a good looking guy and the other was fugly. The good looking guy would get laughs and girls would flirt and respond to compliments and innuendo, the other guy got called a creep.
Lots of girls say personality and sense of humour is attractive, but it's only if they're physically attractive too."
That I understand way to well back in my slightly younger days and being in shape I was given more attention than wanted but when I decided I wanted to be a chunk that attention vanished and I become a normie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s because you are receptive to the other party. That’s the same as consensual sex, if you find someone attractive u would consent to sex
"
That's different, a comment or a look doesn't require consent. A touch does.
Consider two guys say "you look lovely in those heels". One is a guy you fancy, the other is a guy you really dislike. Which one gets a smile and which one gets you chatting to your mates about the creepy old perv in work?
There is obviously a difference when it comes to touching as consent there is the line between assault and fun but as Annie says, a lot of people will accept behaviour without consent from a person they fancy as even though consent hasn't been exolicitly given it would be were it asked for.
Is this a problem? Only if the guy concerned learns that such behaviour is "ok" and then tries it with someone for whom it's not. Such behaviour should always be called out - even if it is nicely with a comment that it was ok this time but it isn't appropriate.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm quite sure there's been research done and those who are deemed more attractive get treated more pleasantly/with more leeway than those who aren't.
Can't remember where I saw it tho.
It's a true fact a male who finds 1 female more attractive than another will make the less attractive female work harder than the attractive female"
This made me laugh. I was offered a permanent contract in work about 6 months ago and everyone was like you!? How the fuck!?? According to many many coworkers all I do is talk, never hit my targets, been trained to do every job there when people who have been there years haven’t even been allowed to do that. But that’s their assumption, in actual fact I’m so fast that it seems because I laugh and talk and joke around so much that I couldn’t possibly hit targets, but I’m in the top 8% of the entire site.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So true. I had 2 friends at uni with very similar personalities and sense of humour. One was a good looking guy and the other was fugly. The good looking guy would get laughs and girls would flirt and respond to compliments and innuendo, the other guy got called a creep.
Lots of girls say personality and sense of humour is attractive, but it's only if they're physically attractive too.
That I understand way to well back in my slightly younger days and being in shape I was given more attention than wanted but when I decided I wanted to be a chunk that attention vanished and I become a normie"
Jeez even the sheep in Wales are judgemental  |
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"I'm quite sure there's been research done and those who are deemed more attractive get treated more pleasantly/with more leeway than those who aren't.
Can't remember where I saw it tho."
It's called the "halo effect". People who are considered more attractive are more popular, are perceived to be more competent, and are generally favoured over equally skilled but less-attractive people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm quite sure there's been research done and those who are deemed more attractive get treated more pleasantly/with more leeway than those who aren't.
Can't remember where I saw it tho."
Absolutely. When people say to check your privilege, looks absolutely play a part. A tall good looking guy will get further with the exact same life circumstances than a short ugly one - even where the responses come from other men.
I'm lucky being a tall metamorph makes up in part for my face
Mr |
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"… they’re not attractive.
Like if a guy made a sexually suggestive comment to me and I found him super hot I’d have a flirt back with him. If however he wasn’t attractive then I’d be offended, like how dare he fucking approach me in that way.
I am not wrong here. Think about situations in the real world where you’ve let things slide when you’ve been attracted to someone but zero tolerance when you weren’t.
"
This is a very popular talking point with incels and other denizens of the manosphere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So true. I had 2 friends at uni with very similar personalities and sense of humour. One was a good looking guy and the other was fugly. The good looking guy would get laughs and girls would flirt and respond to compliments and innuendo, the other guy got called a creep.
Lots of girls say personality and sense of humour is attractive, but it's only if they're physically attractive too."
Never went to College/Uni but I was the fugly creep at school lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah definitely agree with this "
Although in addition, the random lass who shoved her hands down my pants in a pub once was very attractive but was still told no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm quite sure there's been research done and those who are deemed more attractive get treated more pleasantly/with more leeway than those who aren't.
Can't remember where I saw it tho.
It's a true fact a male who finds 1 female more attractive than another will make the less attractive female work harder than the attractive female
This made me laugh. I was offered a permanent contract in work about 6 months ago and everyone was like you!? How the fuck!?? According to many many coworkers all I do is talk, never hit my targets, been trained to do every job there when people who have been there years haven’t even been allowed to do that. But that’s their assumption, in actual fact I’m so fast that it seems because I laugh and talk and joke around so much that I couldn’t possibly hit targets, but I’m in the top 8% of the entire site. "
I've trained plenty of good looking women over my time of training staff and I've made them feel the full strain of the job that they will be doing and I've watched other people train pretty women and give them short cuts and help whenever they ask but in general a pretty woman will always have an advantage other a not so pretty woman it's just how the world is now and no one has said you didn't work hard for your promotion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm quite sure there's been research done and those who are deemed more attractive get treated more pleasantly/with more leeway than those who aren't.
Can't remember where I saw it tho.
It's called the "halo effect". People who are considered more attractive are more popular, are perceived to be more competent, and are generally favoured over equally skilled but less-attractive people. "
The beauty privilege is real guys! Everything is a little bit easier for attractive people. And if you also have the brains, then it’s pure dynamite effect |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Generally if you are attracted to somebody, you give them much more of a chance and get away with more than those you are not attracted to. Same with people you generally like, they can get away with much more than a stranger for example. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Generally if you are attracted to somebody, you give them much more of a chance and get away with more than those you are not attracted to. Same with people you generally like, they can get away with much more than a stranger for example."
That said just because somebody is attractive in general does not mean they get away with shit. Just they are given a bit more leniency.
And of course not everyone will find that person attractive so will call them out on it. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Someone once said to me that in 50 Shades, if he wasn’t a rich, attractive man it would be a story of abuse and I think that applies here."
Indeed it does. I think that simplifies the whole thing too much but it certainly applies as an example. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone once said to me that in 50 Shades, if he wasn’t a rich, attractive man it would be a story of abuse and I think that applies here.
Indeed it does. I think that simplifies the whole thing too much but it certainly applies as an example. "
100% an oversimplification but it did make me think |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"It really depends, quite often I have found someone pretty attractive but if they have said something out of order or a bit too creepy then the attraction I felt towards them can drop instantly "
Obviously, some things it doesn't matter how attractive you are, you won't get away with shit.
But on a line graph, generally the more somebody is found as attractive the more likely they will get away with something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Generally if you are attracted to somebody, you give them much more of a chance and get away with more than those you are not attracted to. Same with people you generally like, they can get away with much more than a stranger for example."
This !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone once said to me that in 50 Shades, if he wasn’t a rich, attractive man it would be a story of abuse and I think that applies here.
Indeed it does. I think that simplifies the whole thing too much but it certainly applies as an example. "
But this topic is something each and everyone one of us at some point or another are guilty of as we accept things from other that we would make an issue about from someone else and sexual harassment is a fine line topic to discuss and we all have so much that we contradict ourselves from calling it banter / flirting to no that was unacceptable |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Yeah definitely agree with this
Although in addition, the random lass who shoved her hands down my pants in a pub once was very attractive but was still told no"
I went right off a sexy guy I fancied before I got married because he grabbed my boob at a boxing match a group of us were watching.
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"… they’re not attractive.
Like if a guy made a sexually suggestive comment to me and I found him super hot I’d have a flirt back with him. If however he wasn’t attractive then I’d be offended, like how dare he fucking approach me in that way.
I am not wrong here. Think about situations in the real world where you’ve let things slide when you’ve been attracted to someone but zero tolerance when you weren’t.
"
I would agree with this  |
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That's because those that do this are way too preoccupied with what 'he' looks like instead of what he is saying or doing.
I can't disagree that it happens and it's one of the arguments that put blames for disrespect back on women.
Mind you ....... if the women have so few standards and change their moral compass for a good face..... maybe they relinquished any respect they may have got including self respect.
If someone treats you like convenient meat they are a cunt. A good looking cunt or an ugly cunt...... still a cunt. |
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it "
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Someone once said to me that in 50 Shades, if he wasn’t a rich, attractive man it would be a story of abuse and I think that applies here.
Indeed it does. I think that simplifies the whole thing too much but it certainly applies as an example.
But this topic is something each and everyone one of us at some point or another are guilty of as we accept things from other that we would make an issue about from someone else and sexual harassment is a fine line topic to discuss and we all have so much that we contradict ourselves from calling it banter / flirting to no that was unacceptable "
What's the but for?
We know what the thread is about, the subject being discussed is universal and ranges from minor things like a simple chat up line to huge issues like sexual harassment. Which is exactly what we are getting at. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone once said to me that in 50 Shades, if he wasn’t a rich, attractive man it would be a story of abuse and I think that applies here.
Indeed it does. I think that simplifies the whole thing too much but it certainly applies as an example.
But this topic is something each and everyone one of us at some point or another are guilty of as we accept things from other that we would make an issue about from someone else and sexual harassment is a fine line topic to discuss and we all have so much that we contradict ourselves from calling it banter / flirting to no that was unacceptable
What's the but for?
We know what the thread is about, the subject being discussed is universal and ranges from minor things like a simple chat up line to huge issues like sexual harassment. Which is exactly what we are getting at. "
Didn't know how to start the sentence but is my go to |
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"I have seen this happen with others, personally not with me but this is down to my historical abuse, I tend to get on my righteous high horse regardless of their attractiveness if anything they say gets my back up"
Precisely. People should stick up for their beliefs.
Not pretty faces. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah definitely agree with this
Although in addition, the random lass who shoved her hands down my pants in a pub once was very attractive but was still told no
I went right off a sexy guy I fancied before I got married because he grabbed my boob at a boxing match a group of us were watching.
"
It’s not right, this random was a friend of a friend and well, that friendship is no more as he took her side. Why wouldn’t he, she was attractive  |
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"If there was 2 very attractive people but 1 was more attractive than the other, would people put up with more shit from the more attractive person? "
I wouldn't ..... but the younger me ? Can't say for sure. Maybe. Who knows... uhmmmmm Pass. |
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"It’s because you are receptive to the other party. That’s the same as consensual sex, if you find someone attractive u would consent to sex
"
Yeah, all this topic is saying is that if you're receptive to something then it's OK. That's obvious.
If you're going to flirt or be suggestive with someone, you should be confident that they'll enjoy it.
Good looking people can be more confident in this than less good looking people, but they still should exercise some judgement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm quite sure there's been research done and those who are deemed more attractive get treated more pleasantly/with more leeway than those who aren't.
Can't remember where I saw it tho.
It's a true fact a male who finds 1 female more attractive than another will make the less attractive female work harder than the attractive female"
Outrageous |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence."
I don't totally disagree with it as it is true. Some people will find offence in minor things even when intent is clearly not to offend.
But also people clearly look with intent to cause offence.
Reading the room and knowing some boundaries to what you are saying is key. Some people will take offence but there is no need to say things without a filter and thought for how it may be taken. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Someone once said to me that in 50 Shades, if he wasn’t a rich, attractive man it would be a story of abuse and I think that applies here.
Indeed it does. I think that simplifies the whole thing too much but it certainly applies as an example.
But this topic is something each and everyone one of us at some point or another are guilty of as we accept things from other that we would make an issue about from someone else and sexual harassment is a fine line topic to discuss and we all have so much that we contradict ourselves from calling it banter / flirting to no that was unacceptable
What's the but for?
We know what the thread is about, the subject being discussed is universal and ranges from minor things like a simple chat up line to huge issues like sexual harassment. Which is exactly what we are getting at.
Didn't know how to start the sentence but is my go to "
Ahhh! Haha I get you now  makes sense |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I don't think you are necessarily right OP. Harassment would suggest repeated offending and it's made clear that it's unwelcome.I was a flirter in my younger years, it's partly how you found out if someone was attracted to you, but I am fairly certain I read signals that said "try flirting with me" and not just because someone was very attractive visually.And those signals came someway into a conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence."
At the same time something could be said in a non offensive manner with no ill intentions and someone can take offence fe |
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence."
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone once said to me that in 50 Shades, if he wasn’t a rich, attractive man it would be a story of abuse and I think that applies here.
Indeed it does. I think that simplifies the whole thing too much but it certainly applies as an example.
But this topic is something each and everyone one of us at some point or another are guilty of as we accept things from other that we would make an issue about from someone else and sexual harassment is a fine line topic to discuss and we all have so much that we contradict ourselves from calling it banter / flirting to no that was unacceptable
What's the but for?
We know what the thread is about, the subject being discussed is universal and ranges from minor things like a simple chat up line to huge issues like sexual harassment. Which is exactly what we are getting at.
Didn't know how to start the sentence but is my go to
Ahhh! Haha I get you now makes sense"
When me ad my Mrs worked together and flirted she was asked if she was ok and I was instantly dragged into a sexual harassment meeting no one asked if the pretty women was pestering me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"… they’re not attractive.
Like if a guy made a sexually suggestive comment to me and I found him super hot I’d have a flirt back with him. If however he wasn’t attractive then I’d be offended, like how dare he fucking approach me in that way.
I am not wrong here. Think about situations in the real world where you’ve let things slide when you’ve been attracted to someone but zero tolerance when you weren’t.
"
This sounds like a recipe for ending up in relationships with attractive arseholes. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"So, a thing said/done by an attractive person is called flirt/banter and the same thing said/done by an unattractive one is called harassment. "
I think it still depends on the content. An attractive man calling me a fat whore might actually turn me on, but if he said I'm an arrogant, stupid bitch I'd be hitting the delete button.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming. "
I think you’re taking this the wrong way. What I mean is for example I am mixed race as are my bothers. I could take offence to a joke about my race but my brothers on the other hand may not find it offensive. Therefore offence is down to the recipient. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"It’s because you are receptive to the other party. That’s the same as consensual sex, if you find someone attractive u would consent to sex
Yeah, all this topic is saying is that if you're receptive to something then it's OK. That's obvious.
If you're going to flirt or be suggestive with someone, you should be confident that they'll enjoy it.
Good looking people can be more confident in this than less good looking people, but they still should exercise some judgement. "
How do they know who is sensitive and who isn't.
You could call me a stupid, cock sucking, blubber bum cunt and I'd smile. I'm not easily offended. |
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming. "
Not necessarily so. There are some who take offence when none has been offered or intended.
They take offence at others opinions simply because they don't align with their own.
They cry offended because in this molly coddled psychobabble era the whinge bags get support and the innocent vilified.
You can't have your cake and eat it.
Following this line 'rejected' males have a right to be offended, feel butt hurt and send inappropriate replies.
Whether something is offensive or not depends a great deal on context.
The easily offended should be given a wide berth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming.
I think you’re taking this the wrong way. What I mean is for example I am mixed race as are my bothers. I could take offence to a joke about my race but my brothers on the other hand may not find it offensive. Therefore offence is down to the recipient."
And before anyone says no race jokes are acceptable this was just an example based on my experiences |
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I believe this and it brings up a lot of questions about consent/sexual assault/sexual harassment that people don’t want to discuss
What could have 1 guy in court could have another getting laid. All based on attractiveness.
It doesn’t seem fair. But I don’t think there an answer to the other side of it |
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"I believe this and it brings up a lot of questions about consent/sexual assault/sexual harassment that people don’t want to discuss
What could have 1 guy in court could have another getting laid. All based on attractiveness.
It doesn’t seem fair. But I don’t think there an answer to the other side of it "
It's simple. Don't make sexual comments to anyone until you know them well enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I disagree. I really don’t care how good looking/sexy someone is, I judge them on their personality and way of being. If they are a twat, they are a twat, regardless. |
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"I believe this and it brings up a lot of questions about consent/sexual assault/sexual harassment that people don’t want to discuss
What could have 1 guy in court could have another getting laid. All based on attractiveness.
It doesn’t seem fair. But I don’t think there an answer to the other side of it
It's simple. Don't make sexual comments to anyone until you know them well enough. "
True, but flirting is kinda walking thaf line isn’t it. And an attractive guy might flirt and get laid, while an unattractive guy might do exactly the same and get sent to court
Obviously the answer to this is to reframe from any flirting without written consent
And obviously, I don’t think that’s practical either.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I believe this and it brings up a lot of questions about consent/sexual assault/sexual harassment that people don’t want to discuss
What could have 1 guy in court could have another getting laid. All based on attractiveness.
It doesn’t seem fair. But I don’t think there an answer to the other side of it
It's simple. Don't make sexual comments to anyone until you know them well enough.
True, but flirting is kinda walking thaf line isn’t it. And an attractive guy might flirt and get laid, while an unattractive guy might do exactly the same and get sent to court
Obviously the answer to this is to reframe from any flirting without written consent
And obviously, I don’t think that’s practical either.
"
I'm fucked my personality is naturally flirty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I disagree. I really don’t care how good looking/sexy someone is, I judge them on their personality and way of being. If they are a twat, they are a twat, regardless. "
Then you are fairly uniquely not subject to the same subconscious biases that the rest of the human race is. I don't want to believe I'm like this either but the research says I almost certainly am 
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I disagree. I really don’t care how good looking/sexy someone is, I judge them on their personality and way of being. If they are a twat, they are a twat, regardless.
Then you are fairly uniquely not subject to the same subconscious biases that the rest of the human race is. I don't want to believe I'm like this either but the research says I almost certainly am
Mr"
I will certainly explore the possibility that I have an subconscious bias there, but I honestly don’t think I do. |
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"I believe this and it brings up a lot of questions about consent/sexual assault/sexual harassment that people don’t want to discuss
What could have 1 guy in court could have another getting laid. All based on attractiveness.
It doesn’t seem fair. But I don’t think there an answer to the other side of it
It's simple. Don't make sexual comments to anyone until you know them well enough.
True, but flirting is kinda walking thaf line isn’t it. And an attractive guy might flirt and get laid, while an unattractive guy might do exactly the same and get sent to court
Obviously the answer to this is to reframe from any flirting without written consent
And obviously, I don’t think that’s practical either.
"
Things sound so much better when you re-phrase them. |
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming.
I think you’re taking this the wrong way. What I mean is for example I am mixed race as are my bothers. I could take offence to a joke about my race but my brothers on the other hand may not find it offensive. Therefore offence is down to the recipient."
I strongly disagree. Whether or not the target *feels* hurt or offended is entirely involuntary. Whether they *reveal* that they have been hurt or offended *is* a matter of choice.
Is that it? Are we coming at this from slightly different directions? Or do you *genuinely* believe that people can pick and choose the emotions they feel in response to things?
|
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming.
Not necessarily so. There are some who take offence when none has been offered or intended.
They take offence at others opinions simply because they don't align with their own.
They cry offended because in this molly coddled psychobabble era the whinge bags get support and the innocent vilified.
You can't have your cake and eat it.
Following this line 'rejected' males have a right to be offended, feel butt hurt and send inappropriate replies.
Whether something is offensive or not depends a great deal on context.
The easily offended should be given a wide berth. "
Put simply, intent does not trump impact.
"I was only joking" and "I didn't mean it" are the get-out clauses used by schoolyard bullies since time immemorial. Shouldn't have washed then, and definitely doesn't wash now.
I often use the plate analogy: Take one of your best dinner plates. Throw it at the kitchen floor. Apologise to the pieces. Is the plate whole again now?
Rejection sucks. People who've been rejected *do* have a right to be unhappy about it. After all, people can't choose how they feel about things. What rejected people *don't* have a right to do, however, is be a twat about it – because people *can* choose how they demonstrate their feelings. |
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming.
Not necessarily so. There are some who take offence when none has been offered or intended.
They take offence at others opinions simply because they don't align with their own.
They cry offended because in this molly coddled psychobabble era the whinge bags get support and the innocent vilified.
You can't have your cake and eat it.
Following this line 'rejected' males have a right to be offended, feel butt hurt and send inappropriate replies.
Whether something is offensive or not depends a great deal on context.
The easily offended should be given a wide berth.
Put simply, intent does not trump impact.
"I was only joking" and "I didn't mean it" are the get-out clauses used by schoolyard bullies since time immemorial. Shouldn't have washed then, and definitely doesn't wash now.
I often use the plate analogy: Take one of your best dinner plates. Throw it at the kitchen floor. Apologise to the pieces. Is the plate whole again now?
Rejection sucks. People who've been rejected *do* have a right to be unhappy about it. After all, people can't choose how they feel about things. What rejected people *don't* have a right to do, however, is be a twat about it – because people *can* choose how they demonstrate their feelings. "
Well said.
|
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming.
Not necessarily so. There are some who take offence when none has been offered or intended.
They take offence at others opinions simply because they don't align with their own.
They cry offended because in this molly coddled psychobabble era the whinge bags get support and the innocent vilified.
You can't have your cake and eat it.
Following this line 'rejected' males have a right to be offended, feel butt hurt and send inappropriate replies.
Whether something is offensive or not depends a great deal on context.
The easily offended should be given a wide berth.
Put simply, intent does not trump impact.
"I was only joking" and "I didn't mean it" are the get-out clauses used by schoolyard bullies since time immemorial. Shouldn't have washed then, and definitely doesn't wash now.
I often use the plate analogy: Take one of your best dinner plates. Throw it at the kitchen floor. Apologise to the pieces. Is the plate whole again now?
Rejection sucks. People who've been rejected *do* have a right to be unhappy about it. After all, people can't choose how they feel about things. What rejected people *don't* have a right to do, however, is be a twat about it – because people *can* choose how they demonstrate their feelings. "
The plate analogy is tough though since it’s physical
If we called the plate dumb, is it offended? Did we cause it to be offended?
Or is offence something only a experienced by living things? And even further, could you call a dog dumb and offend it? Or is offence only experienced by higher thinking living things?
I’ve definitely felt offended, then thought myself out of it. I chose not to be. But at the same time, I felt offended at the start. So I guess they’re both kinda true.
The difference being is that if I act like a child and just let whatever emotion comes up take over, then yes, offence is something given
However if I act like an adult. I can stop those feelings. It’s something I choose to either accept or reject |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming. "
I think you may have misunderstood the concept. The psychology of offence is very complex. Clearly we cannot say all things are objectively offensive as some people are not offended by them therefore in certain cases at least offence has to be subjective. This is not to say that feeling hurt or upset isn't a reasonable response. The law routinely uses the concept of "reasonable behaviour" to determine guilt - an example is in self defense. There is a recognition that a majority of people in a given situation will find certain behaviour reasonable.
This doesn't blame the victim, the law is clear on what you can do or say in some circumstances (you can't kill, you can't deny the holocaust etc). Other words and behaviour are a lot more subjective and are subject to legal debate. Even pain is subjective, what would scar one person for life will turn another on.
We do choose how to react - no one is inside our heads controlling our thoughts. This does not mean being offended isn't a reasonable response any more than my decision whether or not to press charges changes the legality of a crime committed against me. What it does change is how I feel inside and how I react in future.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I disagree. I really don’t care how good looking/sexy someone is, I judge them on their personality and way of being. If they are a twat, they are a twat, regardless.
This! "
Yes. |
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming.
Not necessarily so. There are some who take offence when none has been offered or intended.
They take offence at others opinions simply because they don't align with their own.
They cry offended because in this molly coddled psychobabble era the whinge bags get support and the innocent vilified.
You can't have your cake and eat it.
Following this line 'rejected' males have a right to be offended, feel butt hurt and send inappropriate replies.
Whether something is offensive or not depends a great deal on context.
The easily offended should be given a wide berth.
Put simply, intent does not trump impact.
"I was only joking" and "I didn't mean it" are the get-out clauses used by schoolyard bullies since time immemorial. Shouldn't have washed then, and definitely doesn't wash now.
I often use the plate analogy: Take one of your best dinner plates. Throw it at the kitchen floor. Apologise to the pieces. Is the plate whole again now?
Rejection sucks. People who've been rejected *do* have a right to be unhappy about it. After all, people can't choose how they feel about things. What rejected people *don't* have a right to do, however, is be a twat about it – because people *can* choose how they demonstrate their feelings.
The plate analogy is tough though since it’s physical
If we called the plate dumb, is it offended? Did we cause it to be offended?
Or is offence something only a experienced by living things? And even further, could you call a dog dumb and offend it? Or is offence only experienced by higher thinking living things?
I’ve definitely felt offended, then thought myself out of it. I chose not to be. But at the same time, I felt offended at the start. So I guess they’re both kinda true.
The difference being is that if I act like a child and just let whatever emotion comes up take over, then yes, offence is something given
However if I act like an adult. I can stop those feelings. It’s something I choose to either accept or reject "
And just to tack on, I don’t think that gives anyone the right thing say what they want free of consequences. You shouldn’t be a dick and you should try not to offend people.
But if I say I don’t like green and someone gets offended because it’s their favourite colour, that’s on them, not on me. It’s not black and white. There’s levels to it |
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"Following this line 'rejected' males have a right to be offended, feel butt hurt and send inappropriate replies. "
When I (C) was here as a single males I got more than a few rejections. I never received a rude one though, and some were even polite and complimentary. So, while I may have felt disappointed I wouldn’t feel offended.
Contrast that with a rejection message along the lines of “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap than meet you.” So, it’s a “no” but delivered in an entirely different way. You could reasonably describe the second response as offensive, though you may laugh or cry depending on how robust you are.
A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way you look forward to the journey.
We all need to be diplomats.
"Whether something is offensive or not depends a great deal on context."
What is and isn’t offensive is often easy to identify.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am attractive AND have brains. I wouldn’t be offended by a less attractive person trying to flirt with me. I am neither Mariah Carey nor Naomi fucking Campbell.
Disclaimer: unless they’re a dick, and they come in all forms. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"… they’re not attractive.
No!
It’s harassment if it’s not welcome. We each define attractive in our own unique ways."
Picture two guys, one you find extremely attractive and one you don’t. The attractive guy says to you god you are stunning I’d love to get my hands on you, then the really unattractive guy says the same thing to you. Which one would be welcomed? Even if it’s not something you wanted I’m pretty certain you’d feel a little blush or smile from one and the other you’d be like eeew no. |
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Everyone is attractive to someone! It's not just solely based on looks it depends on the individual and personality too. Also just because you don't want to sleep with someone! That doesn't mean you think they are any less then someone you do find attractive or sleep with it's a choice.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While I take, and agree, with the point the reaction is different, I would say in most instances I'd probably not call it harrasment if it's a one off ill judged comment. And if one comment is harrasment, I'd possibly think the good looking guy has crossed the line too.
I can't really think of a one off comment that takes one guy to court but would get the other guy laid.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming.
I think you’re taking this the wrong way. What I mean is for example I am mixed race as are my bothers. I could take offence to a joke about my race but my brothers on the other hand may not find it offensive. Therefore offence is down to the recipient.
I strongly disagree. Whether or not the target *feels* hurt or offended is entirely involuntary. Whether they *reveal* that they have been hurt or offended *is* a matter of choice.
Is that it? Are we coming at this from slightly different directions? Or do you *genuinely* believe that people can pick and choose the emotions they feel in response to things?
"
It’s not a matter of choice to things that are universally accepted as offensive but certain things are not. Something that is perfectly acceptable to say today may not be in a few years time so at what point does someone begin to find that offensive? They choose to after it becomes unacceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"… they’re not attractive.
No!
It’s harassment if it’s not welcome. We each define attractive in our own unique ways.
Picture two guys, one you find extremely attractive and one you don’t. The attractive guy says to you god you are stunning I’d love to get my hands on you, then the really unattractive guy says the same thing to you. Which one would be welcomed? Even if it’s not something you wanted I’m pretty certain you’d feel a little blush or smile from one and the other you’d be like eeew no. "
I have to say, it depends on where he says it. If either guy said it to me at work, I'd find it inappropriate. If there said it at the pub, I wouldn't say either was harassment actually, based on the example you gave, unless they kept pestering after I showed/stated I wasn't interested. |
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"Offence is taken not given so it’s up the recipient how they take it
I dislike and strongly disagree with that statement. It’s a complete cop out from taking responsibility for your words and actions.
Many things can said in a way that is particularly offensive to many, when it is not necessary, yet is done to cause offence.
Agreed. The whole idea that someone can *choose* whether or not to be hurt or offended is absurd, and – ironically – in itself offensive. Pure victim-blaming.
Not necessarily so. There are some who take offence when none has been offered or intended.
They take offence at others opinions simply because they don't align with their own.
They cry offended because in this molly coddled psychobabble era the whinge bags get support and the innocent vilified.
You can't have your cake and eat it.
Following this line 'rejected' males have a right to be offended, feel butt hurt and send inappropriate replies.
Whether something is offensive or not depends a great deal on context.
The easily offended should be given a wide berth.
Put simply, intent does not trump impact.
"I was only joking" and "I didn't mean it" are the get-out clauses used by schoolyard bullies since time immemorial. Shouldn't have washed then, and definitely doesn't wash now.
I often use the plate analogy: Take one of your best dinner plates. Throw it at the kitchen floor. Apologise to the pieces. Is the plate whole again now?
Rejection sucks. People who've been rejected *do* have a right to be unhappy about it. After all, people can't choose how they feel about things. What rejected people *don't* have a right to do, however, is be a twat about it – because people *can* choose how they demonstrate their feelings. "
Then we have agreed. Thanks.
In my response. I didn't mention or include in anyway phrases such as 'I didn't mean it' ......
Just for the record. We agree on that too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just to clarify. I am very mindful of peoples feelings and make effort to move with the times. I never set out to offend anyone and would apologise if something I said offended anyone but just because someone is offended doesn’t mean that they are right |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A couple of years ago my boiler wasn’t working and had a plumber round. It was winter time as well and the part couldn’t be bought for two days. He did something so I could still have hit water but made a comment saying he could come over and warm me up if I wanted. Now this dude was not at all attractive, I said I’ll be fine, I’ll stay over my (fictional) boyfriends house. I actually felt very aware that I was alone in my own home with this dude and I felt pissed off that he made that comment. Now had he been super gorgeous I would’ve been like fucking right, come over later then! |
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"Just to clarify. I am very mindful of peoples feelings and make effort to move with the times. I never set out to offend anyone and would apologise if something I said offended anyone but just because someone is offended doesn’t mean that they are right "
I agree.
Responses to my posts above assume someone has been offensive.
It's not always the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years ago my boiler wasn’t working and had a plumber round. It was winter time as well and the part couldn’t be bought for two days. He did something so I could still have hit water but made a comment saying he could come over and warm me up if I wanted. Now this dude was not at all attractive, I said I’ll be fine, I’ll stay over my (fictional) boyfriends house. I actually felt very aware that I was alone in my own home with this dude and I felt pissed off that he made that comment. Now had he been super gorgeous I would’ve been like fucking right, come over later then! "
See I would say it's inappropriate for any man (or woman) to make that comment in that circumstance. They are at work, you are a client and also in a relatively vulnerable position because you're in your home. If a good looking guy said that to me I'd still consider it inappropriate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years ago my boiler wasn’t working and had a plumber round. It was winter time as well and the part couldn’t be bought for two days. He did something so I could still have hit water but made a comment saying he could come over and warm me up if I wanted. Now this dude was not at all attractive, I said I’ll be fine, I’ll stay over my (fictional) boyfriends house. I actually felt very aware that I was alone in my own home with this dude and I felt pissed off that he made that comment. Now had he been super gorgeous I would’ve been like fucking right, come over later then!
See I would say it's inappropriate for any man (or woman) to make that comment in that circumstance. They are at work, you are a client and also in a relatively vulnerable position because you're in your home. If a good looking guy said that to me I'd still consider it inappropriate. "
I agree |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
Harassment is exactly what it says on the tin as is inappropriate behaviour, language or comments and I do not condone that at all.
I think attractiveness can be simply identifying something that resonates with you in another person and that can be more than looks alone. A smile and an upbeat mood can help people look so much more attractive. When I was younger I always found that if I was smiling I was successful in most things and if I was looking moody I would usually hit brick walls.
Fast forward to now, I will see a stranger male or female and something they are doing or saying catches my attention, they will see me smiling at them and they smile straight back and that allows a conversation, a joke and a laugh. Being happy, approachable and not a moody arse really helps how people judge you. |
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"A couple of years ago my boiler wasn’t working and had a plumber round. It was winter time as well and the part couldn’t be bought for two days. He did something so I could still have hit water but made a comment saying he could come over and warm me up if I wanted. Now this dude was not at all attractive, I said I’ll be fine, I’ll stay over my (fictional) boyfriends house. I actually felt very aware that I was alone in my own home with this dude and I felt pissed off that he made that comment. Now had he been super gorgeous I would’ve been like fucking right, come over later then! "
Neither case is harrasment.
One case is unprofessional, inappropriate etc
The recipient has double standards and maybe needs to judge people on their behaviour rather than what they look like.
Same as on the other thread ..... e.g. 'men don't insult good looking women.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I disagree. If a man harassed me, I would no longer find them attractive. I have spoken to men and disliked them, even though they're good looking, because of something they've said or done.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I disagree. If a man harassed me, I would no longer find them attractive. I have spoken to men and disliked them, even though they're good looking, because of something they've said or done.
"
This is me too, doesn't matter how attractive that person is if they say something inappropriate then they no longer become attractive
For me attraction comes with personality and attitude... |
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"A couple of years ago my boiler wasn’t working and had a plumber round. It was winter time as well and the part couldn’t be bought for two days. He did something so I could still have hit water but made a comment saying he could come over and warm me up if I wanted. Now this dude was not at all attractive, I said I’ll be fine, I’ll stay over my (fictional) boyfriends house. I actually felt very aware that I was alone in my own home with this dude and I felt pissed off that he made that comment. Now had he been super gorgeous I would’ve been like fucking right, come over later then! "
That’s not harassment, it’s a cheeky but highly inappropriate comment. You rebuked his comment, and he left it there.
Had he continued… that’s harassment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"… they’re not attractive.
Like if a guy made a sexually suggestive comment to me and I found him super hot I’d have a flirt back with him. If however he wasn’t attractive then I’d be offended, like how dare he fucking approach me in that way.
I am not wrong here. Think about situations in the real world where you’ve let things slide when you’ve been attracted to someone but zero tolerance when you weren’t.
"
Its the same as someone exposing themselves.
There has been many threads on the forums about flashing workmen or people outdoors etc etc.
For an example: A workman is decorating a house, the lady comes in to offer a cuppa, she is dressed in lingerie, she bends over showing her naked bum and bits. A common fantasy.
What image springs to mind? Naturally, you'd picture a good looking young woman.
Would that be a come on, good fortune or a turn on?
Now picture an old woman, majorly overweight and lacking in looks doing the exact same thing.
Now the above women offer sexual favours.
How would you react to the same situation, with the two different women?
Which woman would you feel most offended and turned off by? |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I disagree. If a man harassed me, I would no longer find them attractive. I have spoken to men and disliked them, even though they're good looking, because of something they've said or done.
This is me too, doesn't matter how attractive that person is if they say something inappropriate then they no longer become attractive
For me attraction comes with personality and attitude... "
I agree with this as well . |
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"… they’re not attractive.
Like if a guy made a sexually suggestive comment to me and I found him super hot I’d have a flirt back with him. If however he wasn’t attractive then I’d be offended, like how dare he fucking approach me in that way.
I am not wrong here. Think about situations in the real world where you’ve let things slide when you’ve been attracted to someone but zero tolerance when you weren’t.
Its the same as someone exposing themselves.
There has been many threads on the forums about flashing workmen or people outdoors etc etc.
For an example: A workman is decorating a house, the lady comes in to offer a cuppa, she is dressed in lingerie, she bends over showing her naked bum and bits. A common fantasy.
What image springs to mind? Naturally, you'd picture a good looking young woman.
Would that be a come on, good fortune or a turn on?
Now picture an old woman, majorly overweight and lacking in looks doing the exact same thing.
Now the above women offer sexual favours.
How would you react to the same situation, with the two different women?
Which woman would you feel most offended and turned off by?"
The young good looking one ? |
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Serious Q .......
Since when did 'not fancying' someone - or if we turn the tables - 'fancying someone that doesn't fancy you' ....... become an OFFENCE?
It is not an offense. It is not offensive.
Like I said earlier........
Some take offense where there is none and the innocent are hung, drawn and quartered.
So you don't fancy someone ... big deal. They have NOT offended you. YOU chose to be offended by it.
I'm beginning to think that some don't know the difference between offense and 'Unattractive to me.' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years ago my boiler wasn’t working and had a plumber round. It was winter time as well and the part couldn’t be bought for two days. He did something so I could still have hit water but made a comment saying he could come over and warm me up if I wanted. Now this dude was not at all attractive, I said I’ll be fine, I’ll stay over my (fictional) boyfriends house. I actually felt very aware that I was alone in my own home with this dude and I felt pissed off that he made that comment. Now had he been super gorgeous I would’ve been like fucking right, come over later then! "
This is unprofessional and very in appropriate comment not sure I would see it as harassment, I have been a plumber for many years and had very similar comments on the other foot towards me I have always taken it as something that was inappropriate and I keep it professional. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It’s not a matter of choice to things that are universally accepted as offensive but certain things are not. Something that is perfectly acceptable to say today may not be in a few years time so at what point does someone begin to find that offensive? They choose to after it becomes unacceptable."
There are no things that are universally accepted as offensive. There are lots of things that the majority of people will consider offensive but that feeling is never universal.
All emotional reactions are subjective and depend on personality and lived experience. If I said I'm flying to NY for a weekend shopping trip some would be angered at my lack of environmental awareness, others would be jealous and still others indifferent. There are many who believe ISIS have committed awful crimes and believe beheading people is disgusting. Yet many of these same people believe that the likes of Lisa Begum should suffer the same fate. We cannot always even agree on our own minds what is offensive - as the comments on this thread show - let alone decide what is objectively offensive at all times and in all places.
As above, the fact that we can influence whether or not we choose to be offended does not mean that we don't have a "right" to feel that way.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It’s not a matter of choice to things that are universally accepted as offensive but certain things are not. Something that is perfectly acceptable to say today may not be in a few years time so at what point does someone begin to find that offensive? They choose to after it becomes unacceptable.
There are no things that are universally accepted as offensive. There are lots of things that the majority of people will consider offensive but that feeling is never universal.
All emotional reactions are subjective and depend on personality and lived experience. If I said I'm flying to NY for a weekend shopping trip some would be angered at my lack of environmental awareness, others would be jealous and still others indifferent. There are many who believe ISIS have committed awful crimes and believe beheading people is disgusting. Yet many of these same people believe that the likes of Lisa Begum should suffer the same fate. We cannot always even agree on our own minds what is offensive - as the comments on this thread show - let alone decide what is objectively offensive at all times and in all places.
As above, the fact that we can influence whether or not we choose to be offended does not mean that we don't have a "right" to feel that way.
Mr"
Maybe universally was the wrong word. More generally accepted as offensive. This quote from Ricky Gervais sums up my views pretty well.
“Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. Some people are offended by mixed marriage, gay people, atheism. So what? Fuck 'em.” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It’s not a matter of choice to things that are universally accepted as offensive but certain things are not. Something that is perfectly acceptable to say today may not be in a few years time so at what point does someone begin to find that offensive? They choose to after it becomes unacceptable.
There are no things that are universally accepted as offensive. There are lots of things that the majority of people will consider offensive but that feeling is never universal.
All emotional reactions are subjective and depend on personality and lived experience. If I said I'm flying to NY for a weekend shopping trip some would be angered at my lack of environmental awareness, others would be jealous and still others indifferent. There are many who believe ISIS have committed awful crimes and believe beheading people is disgusting. Yet many of these same people believe that the likes of Lisa Begum should suffer the same fate. We cannot always even agree on our own minds what is offensive - as the comments on this thread show - let alone decide what is objectively offensive at all times and in all places.
As above, the fact that we can influence whether or not we choose to be offended does not mean that we don't have a "right" to feel that way.
Mr
Maybe universally was the wrong word. More generally accepted as offensive. This quote from Ricky Gervais sums up my views pretty well.
“Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. Some people are offended by mixed marriage, gay people, atheism. So what? Fuck 'em.”"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck. "
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck. "
She does suck.... harder than any Dyson known to Man 
Sorry Annie  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down? "
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't. "
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
I suck too. Very hard if that's what you like "
Do you come with a certified Pascal rating? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
I suck too. Very hard if that's what you like "
I like to suck a bell end quite hard just at the moment of ejaculation, I’d say the force of the sucking equates to that of a love bite suck. Really gets them going for some reason. |
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Couldn’t agree more and this trigger happy society we are developing throwing around serious accusations over trivial shit is gonna ruining flirting/dating in the real world
Flirting/dating is a game of feeling out each other to see where you are. We all know it’s preferable to just naturally lean in for a kiss or hold their hand over asking for consent. And I’m sure a lot of women can agree it’s kinda hot when a guy takes control a little.
But while these things are great when they go well, if you misread a situation they can be a little awkward or even frightening for a woman.
Gone are the days when those mistakes were met with an awkward sorry. Now they are met with public shaming, sexual assault accusations and sexual harassment court cases.
When the risk out weighs the reward, people stop playing. I think this is why there’s been a huge uptake in online app based hookups. Theses less guess work and less risk involved when it’s all written in front of you |
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"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't. "
Professional shit stirrers do indeed suck. Don't think anyone could disagree with that.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
Professional shit stirrers do indeed suck. Don't think anyone could disagree with that.
"
Does the job pay well? Have good perks?
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
Professional shit stirrers do indeed suck. Don't think anyone could disagree with that.
"
Is this something I could put on my profile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual. "
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse."
That's not what she meant in the OP.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse.
That's not what she meant in the OP. "
Could you explain? There's a very real chance I'm misreading it and willing to eat my words. |
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I have always found myself on the side of those who are marginalised or awkward. I hate bullying or manipulative people.
So I generally treat the majority of people the same. It could be down to my crossdressing, that I know how it feels to be vulnerable to attack over things you can’t control.
So attractiveness is something, that the older I get, less likely to affect my behaviour towards someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse.
That's not what she meant in the OP.
Could you explain? There's a very real chance I'm misreading it and willing to eat my words. "
Probably not, I'm shit at explaining. But I can try.
I look like a hideous monster. I'm chatting you up and licking my crusty lips. I say sexual things to you while rubbing my manky jogging bottoms suggestively.
Gorgeous sexy woman is chatting you up and rubbing her stocking clad thighs suggestively. You fancy her like mad.
Do you find me a bit weird and moderately scary... but think she is sexy and you're flattered by her attention? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse.
That's not what she meant in the OP.
Could you explain? There's a very real chance I'm misreading it and willing to eat my words.
Probably not, I'm shit at explaining. But I can try.
I look like a hideous monster. I'm chatting you up and licking my crusty lips. I say sexual things to you while rubbing my manky jogging bottoms suggestively.
Gorgeous sexy woman is chatting you up and rubbing her stocking clad thighs suggestively. You fancy her like mad.
Do you find me a bit weird and moderately scary... but think she is sexy and you're flattered by her attention? "
Anyone else strangely turned on right now? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse.
That's not what she meant in the OP.
Could you explain? There's a very real chance I'm misreading it and willing to eat my words. "
I mean that if you’re attracted to someone and they look at you suggestively or call you sexy (which means they find you sexually attractive) you’re more likely to feel flattered or have a flirt with that person.
If however someone that you’re not attracted to starts looking at you suggestively and openly stating they find you sexually attractive then that wouldn’t be welcomed (may be considered harassment) it’s unwanted attention. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
I suck too. Very hard if that's what you like
Do you come with a certified Pascal rating?"
Let me look that up and I'll let you know |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
I suck too. Very hard if that's what you like
I like to suck a bell end quite hard just at the moment of ejaculation, I’d say the force of the sucking equates to that of a love bite suck. Really gets them going for some reason. "
I have done that myself. I like the oooh, oooh, oh sounds a man makes when I do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse.
That's not what she meant in the OP.
Could you explain? There's a very real chance I'm misreading it and willing to eat my words.
Probably not, I'm shit at explaining. But I can try.
I look like a hideous monster. I'm chatting you up and licking my crusty lips. I say sexual things to you while rubbing my manky jogging bottoms suggestively.
Gorgeous sexy woman is chatting you up and rubbing her stocking clad thighs suggestively. You fancy her like mad.
Do you find me a bit weird and moderately scary... but think she is sexy and you're flattered by her attention? "
Oh I completely understand that part. I just wouldn't consider it harassment just because I don't find you attractive. Its happened plenty of times and I'm well capable of rejecting someone without being offended. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse.
That's not what she meant in the OP.
Could you explain? There's a very real chance I'm misreading it and willing to eat my words.
I mean that if you’re attracted to someone and they look at you suggestively or call you sexy (which means they find you sexually attractive) you’re more likely to feel flattered or have a flirt with that person.
If however someone that you’re not attracted to starts looking at you suggestively and openly stating they find you sexually attractive then that wouldn’t be welcomed (may be considered harassment) it’s unwanted attention. "
I think thats where I'm reading it wrong. I wouldn't consider it harassment unless they continued after being told to stop or that your not interested. But I read it as if your not attracted to them then its harassment. Which i just couldn't get on board with.
The way I'm reading it |
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"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
Professional shit stirrers do indeed suck. Don't think anyone could disagree with that.
Is this something I could put on my profile? "
If you feel it a fit description and it serves a purpose. It wasn't aimed at you. |
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"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse.
That's not what she meant in the OP.
Could you explain? There's a very real chance I'm misreading it and willing to eat my words.
Probably not, I'm shit at explaining. But I can try.
I look like a hideous monster. I'm chatting you up and licking my crusty lips. I say sexual things to you while rubbing my manky jogging bottoms suggestively.
Gorgeous sexy woman is chatting you up and rubbing her stocking clad thighs suggestively. You fancy her like mad.
Do you find me a bit weird and moderately scary... but think she is sexy and you're flattered by her attention?
Anyone else strangely turned on right now?"
are you wearing manky joggers ? |
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"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
I suck too. Very hard if that's what you like
I like to suck a bell end quite hard just at the moment of ejaculation, I’d say the force of the sucking equates to that of a love bite suck. Really gets them going for some reason.
I have done that myself. I like the oooh, oooh, oh sounds a man makes when I do it."
Are you having your own conversation in here ???
We are doing harrassment and manky joggers not blowjobs and oooo ooo ooooo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saying it louder for the people in the back!
Maybe just leave the wooden spoon down for a day. You kinda suck.
Why does she suck? Did she turn you down?
Nah professional shit stirrers just suck. Feel free to disagree but im sure many wouldn't.
How am I a professional shit stirrer?
My opening post is factual.
What? that you accuse people of harassment because they don't fit your preference?
I honestly couldn't fathom having that level narcissism. I first thought you were just saying this to stir shit. Its actually much worse.
That's not what she meant in the OP.
Could you explain? There's a very real chance I'm misreading it and willing to eat my words.
Probably not, I'm shit at explaining. But I can try.
I look like a hideous monster. I'm chatting you up and licking my crusty lips. I say sexual things to you while rubbing my manky jogging bottoms suggestively.
Gorgeous sexy woman is chatting you up and rubbing her stocking clad thighs suggestively. You fancy her like mad.
Do you find me a bit weird and moderately scary... but think she is sexy and you're flattered by her attention?
Anyone else strangely turned on right now?
are you wearing manky joggers ?"
I am..... 
(flies) |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
There are a lot of women that wouldn't like the attention or comments regardless if the man is attractive or not (regardless if they find him attractive or not). The most logical approach to this for any man (regardless of how they look) is to NOT approach any random woman and just tell her she is sexy. |
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