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Baby Loss Awareness Week
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
It's halfway through Baby Loss Awareness Week.
If you,or a loved one, have lost a baby to miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death I hope you are treating yourself kindly this week. It can be hard hearing people tell their stories.
If your loss is recent do contact SANDS for help. The befrienders are people like you and me with experience of loss.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x"
I am sorry for your loss.  'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.
I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life. |
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"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x
I am sorry for your loss. 'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.
I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life."
I have great respect for Buddhists, I think they talk an awful lot of sense.
My losses definitely taught me a few things. X |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Thank you, OP for your kind words, 3 heavenly angels of mine, I was lucky enough to carry for a short time, they may have been tiny but they still left a big hole in my heart. x"
I am sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is so rarely spoken of yet so many of us experience it.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"my son would have been 7 last monday.
blaw is always tough.
sending my love to any body that needs it right now.
you aren't alone Px "
I'm sorry for your loss. Remember that you aren't alone, either. Your experience is unique to you, your pain may not be the same as mine but we share the knowledge of such pain.
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
Tomorrow is bitter sweet for me.... My youngest turns nine and her twin is an angel sadly lost early in the pregnancy. And her original due date was also the due date of my first angel. I'm lucky to have both of my rainbows 
SANDS were great helping my through my losses and I donate whenever I can |
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"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x
I am sorry for your loss. 'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.
I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life."
I like this, thank you OP seen things this week that have triggered more than comforted. But having it teach me something does thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My son would have been 15. There isn't a day in the last 15 and a half years he hasn't been in my mind as well as my heart.
for everyone who has gone through this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love and hugs to all (dads as well as mums) who have been through this, myself included. No matter how many years pass, it still hurts on those particular days of the year. Thank you for creating this post OP |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Tomorrow is bitter sweet for me.... My youngest turns nine and her twin is an angel sadly lost early in the pregnancy. And her original due date was also the due date of my first angel. I'm lucky to have both of my rainbows
SANDS were great helping my through my losses and I donate whenever I can "
I am so sorry. I will remember your lost twin.
I'm glad SANDS helped you. They rarely get the sort of attention that other national charities get. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x
I am sorry for your loss. 'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.
I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life.
I like this, thank you OP seen things this week that have triggered more than comforted. But having it teach me something does thank you "
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My son would have been 15. There isn't a day in the last 15 and a half years he hasn't been in my mind as well as my heart.
for everyone who has gone through this "
I am sorry for your loss. This is the poem I chose for my son's funeral and one I return to often. Our loss is the loss of our dreams and they recur every day.
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
WB Yeats |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Love and hugs to all (dads as well as mums) who have been through this, myself included. No matter how many years pass, it still hurts on those particular days of the year. Thank you for creating this post OP "
Be kind to yourself on those days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son would have been 15. There isn't a day in the last 15 and a half years he hasn't been in my mind as well as my heart.
for everyone who has gone through this
I am sorry for your loss. This is the poem I chose for my son's funeral and one I return to often. Our loss is the loss of our dreams and they recur every day.
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
WB Yeats"
Ah this just made me well up.... this was read at my sons funeral too.
I'm sorry for your loss too. Much love x |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Seeing this thread reminded me of my sister miscarrying about 12 years ago. She was only 7 and half weeks gone too. She's never spoken about it  "
My sister never speaks of her 3 miscarriages. Most of us don't. We are told unhelpful things like, It was probably for the best or, It was so early you'll get over it. We stay quiet as it embarrasses others or we risk hearing something enraging unhelpful.
You also lost your potential status as aunt. I am sorry. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Hard to imagine both my daughters would be in their early 20's now
Sadly, it wasn't meant to be
I would have made a good parent "
I'm sorry for your loss, Bussy. After all these years I have just learnt you were a dad. You would have been a brilliant parent. |
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"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x
I am sorry for your loss. 'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.
I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life."
So sorry to hear of your loss too xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seeing this thread reminded me of my sister miscarrying about 12 years ago. She was only 7 and half weeks gone too. She's never spoken about it
My sister never speaks of her 3 miscarriages. Most of us don't. We are told unhelpful things like, It was probably for the best or, It was so early you'll get over it. We stay quiet as it embarrasses others or we risk hearing something enraging unhelpful.
You also lost your potential status as aunt. I am sorry."
I come from a family who don't talk to each other which doesn't help. I was so happy at the thought of being an aunt, then I was just devastated. It was really going to be the closest thing to having my own child as I don't have kids and I never will now. The worst thing about my sister losing her baby was the fact that my mum always said she never wanted to be a grandma anyway |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
I haven't lost a child but I did my grandson. Born 16 weeks premature and lived for the most amazing 24 days. It was like grieving twice over, for my grandson and watching my heartbroken daughter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't lost a child but I did my grandson. Born 16 weeks premature and lived for the most amazing 24 days. It was like grieving twice over, for my grandson and watching my heartbroken daughter "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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8 losses. I know the heartache. My heart goes out to every woman and man that experience loss. And to those that never get to become parents. And to those who have had to make a decision when faced with a prognosis of their unborn child or their own life that is just utterly unbearable to make. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x"
No father either. |
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Can I also add to this those terminated due to foetal abnormalities? Such a devastating experience for those women wrapped up in an additional element of shame even when those abnormalities are incredibly severe and incompatible with life outside the uterus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I also add to this those terminated due to foetal abnormalities? Such a devastating experience for those women wrapped up in an additional element of shame even when those abnormalities are incredibly severe and incompatible with life outside the uterus. "
I would say so. |
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"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x
No father either."
Definitely. I've seen some absolutely devastated fathers. People forget that they carry the heartache too x |
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By *cplsMan
over a year ago
Nr Waltham |
I saw something on breakfast TV today, made a nice change. Dads sometimes suffer in silence too. I lost 2 babies and still think about them 30 and 28 years ago. My heart goes out to any woman losing a baby, it is devastating; but spare a thought for the men too. |
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"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x
No father either.
Definitely. I've seen some absolutely devastated fathers. People forget that they carry the heartache too x"
This for me. Behind the female facade on here lives a guy who endures the loss of a little one who would have become a teenager this year. You never get over it, you learn to exist another way. I'm lucky my eldest & youngest made it ok & are great kids. It's hard when anyone ever asks how many kids I have & you answer two automatically when you should really say three but you don't want to be drawn into talking & explaining. One cos of fearing getting upset & two for not wanting to make the other person asking feel bad. Hugs to everyone on the thread.
I thought for a while after that I was being punished for being Gemma & sort of not normal but over time I grew to learn the escapism of Gemma helped me find a happy place even if only for short periods of time that normal life allows. It's the only time I feel truly alive & I built a coping mechanism around it & grew to love both sides of me without fighting it anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have experienced the heartbreak of a miscarriage, it was over 15 years ago.
Sending love to everyone, the mums and the dad's who suffer these heartbreaking moments.
NBVN x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think anyone who has lost in this way, needs a week labelled to remember. It stays with you always.
C"
Totally get that but it's awareness week so it's more about raising awareness of child and baby loss rather that suggesting it's a week in which people remember who they have lost. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you for posting this. Painful reminder of the 4 little angels I’ve lost.
I’ve just restarted fertility treatment after 3 years of not trying due to grief.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My little bean would be 4 on feb 8th. It’s so hard but days like these and awareness weeks remind me that I am not alone. So many women struggle. 1:4 women experience miscarriage or still birth.
We can support eachother. . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My little bean would be 4 on feb 8th. It’s so hard but days like these and awareness weeks remind me that I am not alone. So many women struggle. 1:4 women experience miscarriage or still birth.
We can support eachother. . "
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My little one should have been turning 8 next month and not a day has passed where he hasn't been on my mind.
My 4 year old has started school this September and that's brought on a different layer of grief I wasn't expecting- another big milestone I didn't get to enjoy with my first boy.
Will have my candle lit at 7pm on Friday xx |
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You think you're on your own at first, like the only person it's ever happened to. It's only once you talk to people you find out how many people it affects. We lock the hurt away & clam up because we don't want to get upset in front of others.
But there can be bright spots. In frank terms my nutty funny 10 year old daughter wouldn't be with me now had my 2nd son lived. We only ever planned 2 kids. If you can summon the strength to try again it's scary & traumatic but I'm thankful everyday I have her here. |
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