FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Homophobia
Homophobia
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Evening all , where I live Birmingham there has. Been a spate of homophobic attacks in the gay area , why are people so scared of gays that they have to attack someone for being different, I’ve been attacked years ago with a baseball bat for being gay , I don’t think we are any nearer being accepted , I still hear homophobic comments at work even though I am not out there , |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yronMan
over a year ago
grangemouth |
Sorry to hear that happened to you. *hugs*
At Uni, we tried doing a campaign against homophobia. Sadly, a lot of people's reactions were unbelievably negative. This was 25 years ago and I hope that things have changed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Homophobia- the fear that a gay man will treat you the same way that you treat women.
.
.
Frankly it’s disgusting that we’re still having these discussions, it just goes to prove why pride is still needed and how far there still is to go |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia- the fear that a gay man will treat you the same way that you treat women.
.
.
Frankly it’s disgusting that we’re still having these discussions, it just goes to prove why pride is still needed and how far there still is to go"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unfortunately it is still very real. Although people are being told via social media etc. to accept those who are different - personally, I often feel that majority are just keeping quiet about their true views while some voicing them and turning to violence. Acceptance is happening, but it is very very slow. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Evening all , where I live Birmingham there has. Been a spate of homophobic attacks in the gay area , why are people so scared of gays that they have to attack someone for being different, I’ve been attacked years ago with a baseball bat for being gay , I don’t think we are any nearer being accepted , I still hear homophobic comments at work even though I am not out there , "
Omg, I know this kind of horrible shit happens to good people, but I can't wrap my head around how ignorant & vile these people must be to think it's ok to do this.
I'm so sorry you have to live in a world where these window licking mouth breathers still waste decent oxygen.
Sending you a big hug, op  x x x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We're in a better place regarding homophobia and racism than we were say 30 or 40 years ago, but not where we want to be. Many won't know but homosexuality used to be illegal, that was the World people lived in! We think it's partly a generation thing. For example we have homophobic parents, yet our children are not in slightest. By the way, what a great night out in the Gay village |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Evening all , where I live Birmingham there has. Been a spate of homophobic attacks in the gay area , why are people so scared of gays that they have to attack someone for being different, I’ve been attacked years ago with a baseball bat for being gay , I don’t think we are any nearer being accepted , I still hear homophobic comments at work even though I am not out there , "
Was reading a vice article today saying in the last four years homophobic hate crimes have gone up 210%
What world are we living in  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality"
Or deeply deeply insecure about who they are in general not just sexually.. no sense of belonging or individuality |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality"
Unfortunately not for all, and that is just giving them a rationale excuse.
Some people are just hateful and aggressive. It's their nature. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Evening all , where I live Birmingham there has. Been a spate of homophobic attacks in the gay area , why are people so scared of gays that they have to attack someone for being different, I’ve been attacked years ago with a baseball bat for being gay , I don’t think we are any nearer being accepted , I still hear homophobic comments at work even though I am not out there ,
Was reading a vice article today saying in the last four years homophobic hate crimes have gone up 210%
What world are we living in "
I read that too just now. And up 332% transphobic hate crimes over the same period
What is even happening |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Evening all , where I live Birmingham there has. Been a spate of homophobic attacks in the gay area , why are people so scared of gays that they have to attack someone for being different, I’ve been attacked years ago with a baseball bat for being gay , I don’t think we are any nearer being accepted , I still hear homophobic comments at work even though I am not out there ,
Was reading a vice article today saying in the last four years homophobic hate crimes have gone up 210%
What world are we living in "
It's awful |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality
Unfortunately not for all, and that is just giving them a rationale excuse.
Some people are just hateful and aggressive. It's their nature. "
I think so too, some people are just hateful… it’s disgusting tho, who freaking cares who does who xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Evening all , where I live Birmingham there has. Been a spate of homophobic attacks in the gay area , why are people so scared of gays that they have to attack someone for being different, I’ve been attacked years ago with a baseball bat for being gay , I don’t think we are any nearer being accepted , I still hear homophobic comments at work even though I am not out there ,
Was reading a vice article today saying in the last four years homophobic hate crimes have gone up 210%
What world are we living in
I read that too just now. And up 332% transphobic hate crimes over the same period
What is even happening "
Absolutely disgusting… regardless of my sexuality I could never stand by and allow it to happen |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think intolerance is a disease and it's growing.
What's really strange about today is the huge contradictions out there.
On one hand people are ready to jump on people who may say the tiniest thing non politically correct on Facebook.
Yet in real life people seem to be getting very hateful and spiteful.
It's very confusing time's we live in.
I really do wish we could all just get along and be more tolerant.
Sorry about what happened to you OP.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans. "
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
"
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me."
What sort of age are they? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me."
It's is an episode of alf garnet! What was that called? It's so bad sometimes it's comical in a really wrong way! Like gran ma asking you if youre off to the palli for a tea dance! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me.
It's is an episode of alf garnet! What was that called? It's so bad sometimes it's comical in a really wrong way! Like gran ma asking you if youre off to the palli for a tea dance!"
Was it called, Open all Hours? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality"
Absolutely, straight men are not threatened by gay men, only those that can't accept their sexuality are |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eamTOSACouple
over a year ago
Treharris |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality"
Agreed
The man doth protest too much, methinks -stolen and misquoted from Hamlet but still relevant today, I’ve always been of the opinion that the homophobic are afraid of their own sexuality |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me.
What sort of age are they?"
All ages.
I work in the building trade and it's exactly how you imagine it to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me.
What sort of age are they?
All ages.
I work in the building trade and it's exactly how you imagine it to be."
Times Change, People Don't, Ever will it be So...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me.
What sort of age are they?
All ages.
I work in the building trade and it's exactly how you imagine it to be."
I was in charity shop! Basically boys should be boys and girls girls.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
"
Jeez… isn’t love just beautiful in every of its form?? Whether it’s male and male .. male and female.. female and female ..
trans female and male .. trans male and female etc etc
Like love is love guys!!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me.
What sort of age are they?
All ages.
I work in the building trade and it's exactly how you imagine it to be."
I transitioned whilst working in the trade. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We can all play our part in improving society by speaking up when our friends , family , colleagues make a homophobic remark.
By being silent, we simply help the cycle continue, and yes, our silence means we are to blame too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We can all play our part in improving society by speaking up when our friends , family , colleagues make a homophobic remark.
By being silent, we simply help the cycle continue, and yes, our silence means we are to blame too. "
Well said that man |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me.
What sort of age are they?
All ages.
I work in the building trade and it's exactly how you imagine it to be.
I transitioned whilst working in the trade. "
Strong woman |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me.
What sort of age are they?
All ages.
I work in the building trade and it's exactly how you imagine it to be.
I transitioned whilst working in the trade.
Strong woman "
Hormones put an end to that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We can all play our part in improving society by speaking up when our friends , family , colleagues make a homophobic remark.
By being silent, we simply help the cycle continue, and yes, our silence means we are to blame too. "
Please never blame the silent...I have my own demons to fight.. I do not fight your battles.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality
Absolutely, straight men are not threatened by gay men, only those that can't accept their sexuality are "
Why do people keep saying this?
You are giving their actions a rationale reason. As good as an excuse. They are unable to process and accept their own feelings so they direct them outward - which in some cases is true.
But in all honesty (and fact) some people are just aggressive and intolerant of others be it gay, trans, straight, rich, poor, black, white, native, foreign, kink, vanilla.
Some people are just like that for many varied and different reasons. We are not a naturally utopian species. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We can all play our part in improving society by speaking up when our friends , family , colleagues make a homophobic remark.
By being silent, we simply help the cycle continue, and yes, our silence means we are to blame too. "
The, if your not for us then your against us does more damage to any cause than you can imagine... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality
Absolutely, straight men are not threatened by gay men, only those that can't accept their sexuality are
Why do people keep saying this?
You are giving their actions a rationale reason. As good as an excuse. They are unable to process and accept their own feelings so they direct them outward - which in some cases is true.
But in all honesty (and fact) some people are just aggressive and intolerant of others be it gay, trans, straight, rich, poor, black, white, native, foreign, kink, vanilla.
Some people are just like that for many varied and different reasons. We are not a naturally utopian species."
100% agree but could not express it as well as this .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality
Absolutely, straight men are not threatened by gay men, only those that can't accept their sexuality are
Why do people keep saying this?
You are giving their actions a rationale reason. As good as an excuse. They are unable to process and accept their own feelings so they direct them outward - which in some cases is true.
But in all honesty (and fact) some people are just aggressive and intolerant of others be it gay, trans, straight, rich, poor, black, white, native, foreign, kink, vanilla.
Some people are just like that for many varied and different reasons. We are not a naturally utopian species."
No excuse for bullying or violence sorry! Kids learn what adults teach, Everyone has a part to educate and learn. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We can all play our part in improving society by speaking up when our friends , family , colleagues make a homophobic remark.
By being silent, we simply help the cycle continue, and yes, our silence means we are to blame too. "
I take the piss, its not a ladies blouse it's a blouse.... they look at me dumb lol so men eat pork pie? Really! They look at me dumb.... boys like trains.... what about pink trains? .... and then stop talking to you lol they'll think what they want, about covid about tax and about weirdo pink trains, choo choo |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ick71Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
In this day why can't people just accept that we are all different, so what if we are gay, bisexual, transexual or what ever makes us tick, accept it we should embrace these times that we can be what ever we want. A lot has changed since the dark ages of the 40's and 50's but on reading this it's obvious a lot more needs to be done. What are these people's prob lems do they think they are are going to be jumped by a gay man if so they should dream on as that is definitely not going to happen personally perhaps they have an. Element of being gay or bi themselves and are afraid to admit it. I feel so sorry for these stupid and ignorant individuals |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's just disgusting, I have always let my children know that they could always tell me anything and that includes any of them being gay or whatever term they would care to use. I could think of nothing worse than either of them worrying and pondering " how do I tell dad ? " as for their mam I don't know her view. Myself if any of my children are lucky enough to find someone who loves them more than they love themselves then I could wish for nothing more. Love is love at the end of the day, no matter who it comes from. If you have it you have everything. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality
Absolutely, straight men are not threatened by gay men, only those that can't accept their sexuality are
Why do people keep saying this?
You are giving their actions a rationale reason. As good as an excuse. They are unable to process and accept their own feelings so they direct them outward - which in some cases is true.
But in all honesty (and fact) some people are just aggressive and intolerant of others be it gay, trans, straight, rich, poor, black, white, native, foreign, kink, vanilla.
Some people are just like that for many varied and different reasons. We are not a naturally utopian species. No excuse for bullying or violence sorry! Kids learn what adults teach, Everyone has a part to educate and learn. "
But it is an excuse. That's exactly what it is by saying they are gay, they just can't accept it. You are giving them a valid and sympathetic reason for their actions.
Because if you can't sympathise you are being hypocritical as they are internally struggling with their identity and expressing it in such a way as they only know how as an individual. Yes it's harming others but they are struggling to process and cope with acceptance of themselves. Their mental health is struggling clearly so they are lashing out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP I am saddened to hear of your personal experiences. And even more sad that I know that abuse is still faced daily by my friends who are out as queer in some way.
Objectively there could be several reasons. As a society we are not happy. People look for excuses, places to lay the blame. Foreigners "stealing" our jobs, and sadly often anyone who is a bit different. It's about as mature as as school playground bullying of the misfits. But sadly gay people often bear the brunt of this.
In some cases people are unsure of their own sexuality, especially men who may sometimes experience urges to experiment with other men and don't like that feeling because society (toxic masculinity) tells us it's not a desirable trait. They get angry with themselves for having these feelings, but take it out on gay men who have the confidence to live their authentic lives. If you doubt toxic masculinity is at play, just look at how socially acceptable it is for women to be bi and compare to bi men - who are often shunned by the queer community and by straight men alike.
Just look at how many overtly homophobic US politicians, "Christian" leaders and judges get caught having public sex with other men....hatred of something within themselves. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's just disgusting, I have always let my children know that they could always tell me anything and that includes any of them being gay or whatever term they would care to use. I could think of nothing worse than either of them worrying and pondering " how do I tell dad ? " as for their mam I don't know her view. Myself if any of my children are lucky enough to find someone who loves them more than they love themselves then I could wish for nothing more. Love is love at the end of the day, no matter who it comes from. If you have it you have everything. "
Thanks for being a good dad in letting your kids be whoever they want to be or whoever they want to love regardless |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality
Absolutely, straight men are not threatened by gay men, only those that can't accept their sexuality are
Why do people keep saying this?
You are giving their actions a rationale reason. As good as an excuse. They are unable to process and accept their own feelings so they direct them outward - which in some cases is true.
But in all honesty (and fact) some people are just aggressive and intolerant of others be it gay, trans, straight, rich, poor, black, white, native, foreign, kink, vanilla.
Some people are just like that for many varied and different reasons. We are not a naturally utopian species. No excuse for bullying or violence sorry! Kids learn what adults teach, Everyone has a part to educate and learn.
But it is an excuse. That's exactly what it is by saying they are gay, they just can't accept it. You are giving them a valid and sympathetic reason for their actions.
Because if you can't sympathise you are being hypocritical as they are internally struggling with their identity and expressing it in such a way as they only know how as an individual. Yes it's harming others but they are struggling to process and cope with acceptance of themselves. Their mental health is struggling clearly so they are lashing out. "
Making the bully the victim? If someone is struggling with their identity that isn't others fault who are living their life and being themselves. What about the abuse they go through? I'm talking from someone who experienced horrendous severe bullying at school! Just for being true to myself at a very young age in regards to being attracted to boys. Education starts at home! If kids were taught to be themselves from a young age, Well then they wouldn't have so much self hate and intolerance for others? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Homophobia saddens me too hear it’s still a problem; I’m not naïve to think it wasn’t.
The media are now making all the same false claims about trans people they were making about gay men until recently. Suggesting we’re predatory or paedophiles and mocking us saying we ‘identify’ as trans rather than we ‘are’ trans.
I was speaking to an older female today who told me her husband can't even watch the TV if anything gay is on it
I work with guy's who are literally stuck in a 70's sitcom mentality.
It sickness me.
What sort of age are they?
All ages.
I work in the building trade and it's exactly how you imagine it to be.
I transitioned whilst working in the trade.
Strong woman
Hormones put an end to that "
We know! Ahha
U know what I meant tho x strong willed  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality
Absolutely, straight men are not threatened by gay men, only those that can't accept their sexuality are
Why do people keep saying this?
You are giving their actions a rationale reason. As good as an excuse. They are unable to process and accept their own feelings so they direct them outward - which in some cases is true.
But in all honesty (and fact) some people are just aggressive and intolerant of others be it gay, trans, straight, rich, poor, black, white, native, foreign, kink, vanilla.
Some people are just like that for many varied and different reasons. We are not a naturally utopian species. No excuse for bullying or violence sorry! Kids learn what adults teach, Everyone has a part to educate and learn.
But it is an excuse. That's exactly what it is by saying they are gay, they just can't accept it. You are giving them a valid and sympathetic reason for their actions.
Because if you can't sympathise you are being hypocritical as they are internally struggling with their identity and expressing it in such a way as they only know how as an individual. Yes it's harming others but they are struggling to process and cope with acceptance of themselves. Their mental health is struggling clearly so they are lashing out. Making the bully the victim? If someone is struggling with their identity that isn't others fault who are living their life and being themselves. What about the abuse they go through? I'm talking from someone who experienced horrendous severe bullying at school! Just for being true to myself at a very young age in regards to being attracted to boys. Education starts at home! If kids were taught to be themselves from a young age, Well then they wouldn't have so much self hate and intolerance for others? "
I get what he's saying, if you were raised in a man's man way it's a big jump, I was lol mother would say.... be a man... think it's the same for roman catholics! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" If kids were taught to be themselves from a young age, Well then they wouldn't have so much self hate and intolerance for others? "
My mum is horrifically homophobic (also transphobic and racist). As a very young child I honestly didn't mind if someone was black, Asian or whatever until my mother said some horrible things about people of colour that I shall not repeat. A year or so later I repeated these to my dad who was utterly horrified and demanded to know where such ideas came from. Had he not done that, I might well have grown up to be very racist myself.
Now mum is also the type who will say "Two men....it's disgusting, its' wrong". When my cousin's daughter announced on social media that she was dating another woman my mum went ape-shit. As if it were any of her business.
Now, had my dad also not taken the time to explain some things me at the age when I started to notice different sexualities and to have sexual arousal myself....he told me that homosexuality was something that some people are born with and it's therefore wrong to treat gay people badly because it's no choice for them. The same with trans people (he would have used now outdated language of course). If I had only had the one view influencing my I'd probably have grown up to be a gay basher. And that haunts me to this day. For someone born before WWII he had some pretty forward thinking attitudes.
Kids will play with any other kids and will respect any adult....until told otherwise by someone they see as authority and who they trust. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I reckon that the people that are homophobic are really unsure of their own sexuality
Absolutely, straight men are not threatened by gay men, only those that can't accept their sexuality are
Why do people keep saying this?
You are giving their actions a rationale reason. As good as an excuse. They are unable to process and accept their own feelings so they direct them outward - which in some cases is true.
But in all honesty (and fact) some people are just aggressive and intolerant of others be it gay, trans, straight, rich, poor, black, white, native, foreign, kink, vanilla.
Some people are just like that for many varied and different reasons. We are not a naturally utopian species. No excuse for bullying or violence sorry! Kids learn what adults teach, Everyone has a part to educate and learn.
But it is an excuse. That's exactly what it is by saying they are gay, they just can't accept it. You are giving them a valid and sympathetic reason for their actions.
Because if you can't sympathise you are being hypocritical as they are internally struggling with their identity and expressing it in such a way as they only know how as an individual. Yes it's harming others but they are struggling to process and cope with acceptance of themselves. Their mental health is struggling clearly so they are lashing out. Making the bully the victim? If someone is struggling with their identity that isn't others fault who are living their life and being themselves. What about the abuse they go through? I'm talking from someone who experienced horrendous severe bullying at school! Just for being true to myself at a very young age in regards to being attracted to boys. Education starts at home! If kids were taught to be themselves from a young age, Well then they wouldn't have so much self hate and intolerance for others?
I get what he's saying, if you were raised in a man's man way it's a big jump, I was lol mother would say.... be a man... think it's the same for roman catholics! "
My daddy was Irish catholic and a man's man. He wasn't intolerant of who i was, Even if i did only know him a few years as an adult. He said himself Religion is quite BS and hypocritical. Hahahaha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" If kids were taught to be themselves from a young age, Well then they wouldn't have so much self hate and intolerance for others?
My mum is horrifically homophobic (also transphobic and racist). As a very young child I honestly didn't mind if someone was black, Asian or whatever until my mother said some horrible things about people of colour that I shall not repeat. A year or so later I repeated these to my dad who was utterly horrified and demanded to know where such ideas came from. Had he not done that, I might well have grown up to be very racist myself.
Now mum is also the type who will say "Two men....it's disgusting, its' wrong". When my cousin's daughter announced on social media that she was dating another woman my mum went ape-shit. As if it were any of her business.
Now, had my dad also not taken the time to explain some things me at the age when I started to notice different sexualities and to have sexual arousal myself....he told me that homosexuality was something that some people are born with and it's therefore wrong to treat gay people badly because it's no choice for them. The same with trans people (he would have used now outdated language of course). If I had only had the one view influencing my I'd probably have grown up to be a gay basher. And that haunts me to this day. For someone born before WWII he had some pretty forward thinking attitudes.
Kids will play with any other kids and will respect any adult....until told otherwise by someone they see as authority and who they trust. "
And if you have offspring and they totally reject your beliefs... ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" If kids were taught to be themselves from a young age, Well then they wouldn't have so much self hate and intolerance for others?
My mum is horrifically homophobic (also transphobic and racist). As a very young child I honestly didn't mind if someone was black, Asian or whatever until my mother said some horrible things about people of colour that I shall not repeat. A year or so later I repeated these to my dad who was utterly horrified and demanded to know where such ideas came from. Had he not done that, I might well have grown up to be very racist myself.
Now mum is also the type who will say "Two men....it's disgusting, its' wrong". When my cousin's daughter announced on social media that she was dating another woman my mum went ape-shit. As if it were any of her business.
Now, had my dad also not taken the time to explain some things me at the age when I started to notice different sexualities and to have sexual arousal myself....he told me that homosexuality was something that some people are born with and it's therefore wrong to treat gay people badly because it's no choice for them. The same with trans people (he would have used now outdated language of course). If I had only had the one view influencing my I'd probably have grown up to be a gay basher. And that haunts me to this day. For someone born before WWII he had some pretty forward thinking attitudes.
Kids will play with any other kids and will respect any adult....until told otherwise by someone they see as authority and who they trust. "
Some of my family are racist and quite homophobic! Don't talk to me about mothers. Lol It's horrible growing up with it, But as long as you are being true to yourself that's all that matters. xo |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" If kids were taught to be themselves from a young age, Well then they wouldn't have so much self hate and intolerance for others?
My mum is horrifically homophobic (also transphobic and racist). As a very young child I honestly didn't mind if someone was black, Asian or whatever until my mother said some horrible things about people of colour that I shall not repeat. A year or so later I repeated these to my dad who was utterly horrified and demanded to know where such ideas came from. Had he not done that, I might well have grown up to be very racist myself.
Now mum is also the type who will say "Two men....it's disgusting, its' wrong". When my cousin's daughter announced on social media that she was dating another woman my mum went ape-shit. As if it were any of her business.
Now, had my dad also not taken the time to explain some things me at the age when I started to notice different sexualities and to have sexual arousal myself....he told me that homosexuality was something that some people are born with and it's therefore wrong to treat gay people badly because it's no choice for them. The same with trans people (he would have used now outdated language of course). If I had only had the one view influencing my I'd probably have grown up to be a gay basher. And that haunts me to this day. For someone born before WWII he had some pretty forward thinking attitudes.
Kids will play with any other kids and will respect any adult....until told otherwise by someone they see as authority and who they trust.
And if you have offspring and they totally reject your beliefs... ?
"
Yes siblings agree with team mum and youre the odd one out.....  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
And if you have offspring and they totally reject your beliefs... ?
"
I don't have offspring and do not wish to procreate. But if children had come along I'd have far rather encouraged them to have open minds than ram any belief system down their throats.
The fact that some people deliberately reject the values of their families does not negate the well studied fact that prejudice is learned behaviour. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
And if you have offspring and they totally reject your beliefs... ?
I don't have offspring and do not wish to procreate. But if children had come along I'd have far rather encouraged them to have open minds than ram any belief system down their throats.
The fact that some people deliberately reject the values of their families does not negate the well studied fact that prejudice is learned behaviour."
Exactly what i was initially saying earlier in the thread. Kids learn what you teach. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
And if you have offspring and they totally reject your beliefs... ?
I don't have offspring and do not wish to procreate. But if children had come along I'd have far rather encouraged them to have open minds than ram any belief system down their throats.
The fact that some people deliberately reject the values of their families does not negate the well studied fact that prejudice is learned behaviour."
Agreed... So behaviour jumps generations.. it will never change ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
And if you have offspring and they totally reject your beliefs... ?
I don't have offspring and do not wish to procreate. But if children had come along I'd have far rather encouraged them to have open minds than ram any belief system down their throats.
The fact that some people deliberately reject the values of their families does not negate the well studied fact that prejudice is learned behaviour."
Agree, but it tends to come at high price, gay, Muslim, etc team traditional normally wins..... often coz sisters brother whoever won't go against established rule, even if they really agree with you, secretly! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"And every generay thinks the same thing "
We no charge people to enter psychiatric hospital and make fun of the patients. Nor publicly torture and execute people. Things can and do change, but change can be inexorably slow. Nonetheless it happens, and we can do better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"And every generay thinks the same thing
We no charge people to enter psychiatric hospital and make fun of the patients. Nor publicly torture and execute people. Things can and do change, but change can be inexorably slow. Nonetheless it happens, and we can do better."
Agreed .. but it may turn out we do a lot worse.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" If kids were taught to be themselves from a young age, Well then they wouldn't have so much self hate and intolerance for others?
My mum is horrifically homophobic (also transphobic and racist). As a very young child I honestly didn't mind if someone was black, Asian or whatever until my mother said some horrible things about people of colour that I shall not repeat. A year or so later I repeated these to my dad who was utterly horrified and demanded to know where such ideas came from. Had he not done that, I might well have grown up to be very racist myself.
Now mum is also the type who will say "Two men....it's disgusting, its' wrong". When my cousin's daughter announced on social media that she was dating another woman my mum went ape-shit. As if it were any of her business.
Now, had my dad also not taken the time to explain some things me at the age when I started to notice different sexualities and to have sexual arousal myself....he told me that homosexuality was something that some people are born with and it's therefore wrong to treat gay people badly because it's no choice for them. The same with trans people (he would have used now outdated language of course). If I had only had the one view influencing my I'd probably have grown up to be a gay basher. And that haunts me to this day. For someone born before WWII he had some pretty forward thinking attitudes.
Kids will play with any other kids and will respect any adult....until told otherwise by someone they see as authority and who they trust. "
And that’s why I want to write an illustrated book for kids regarding these issues and make it easy for anyone to understand that it’s okay to feel different or be different.
And to be accepting of others x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Still astounds me that in 2021 some people think they are entitled to have an opinion on whether 2 adults should have consensual sex.
Sorry to hear that OP. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't care what people are/become, (apologies for how that may sound as its not meant to offend in any way), but I hate any sort of attack on another human being.
In this day and age it shouldn't be necessary to have days to highlight a persons chosen path but due to a minority of homophobic people out there its clearly still required.
I won't lie, I've never been as understanding as I am now but a special lady on here and these forums have helped me become a much better person.
Be proud of whoever you are right now and embrace those who truly love you for the person you are |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
And if you have offspring and they totally reject your beliefs... ?
I don't have offspring and do not wish to procreate. But if children had come along I'd have far rather encouraged them to have open minds than ram any belief system down their throats.
The fact that some people deliberately reject the values of their families does not negate the well studied fact that prejudice is learned behaviour. Exactly what i was initially saying earlier in the thread. Kids learn what you teach. "
I agree entirely with your last sentence, but would add that if the child is born into a culture of homophobia, they are far more likely to reject that aspect of the culture if they are allowed to be educated about LGBTQ. Sadly, there are many schools who believe it is their “fundamental right” to opt out of such lessons. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't care what people are/become, (apologies for how that may sound as its not meant to offend in any way), but I hate any sort of attack on another human being.
In this day and age it shouldn't be necessary to have days to highlight a persons chosen path but due to a minority of homophobic people out there its clearly still required.
I won't lie, I've never been as understanding as I am now but a special lady on here and these forums have helped me become a much better person.
Be proud of whoever you are right now and embrace those who truly love you for the person you are "
Im glad whoever that special lady is has opened your eyes and mind a bit in becoming a much more accepting person x 
Love hearing stories like yours |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's just disgusting, I have always let my children know that they could always tell me anything and that includes any of them being gay or whatever term they would care to use. I could think of nothing worse than either of them worrying and pondering " how do I tell dad ? " as for their mam I don't know her view. Myself if any of my children are lucky enough to find someone who loves them more than they love themselves then I could wish for nothing more. Love is love at the end of the day, no matter who it comes from. If you have it you have everything.
Thanks for being a good dad in letting your kids be whoever they want to be or whoever they want to love regardless "
Thanks, but its not being a good dad it's just my view. The world we live in now is so much more diverse than when I was my children's age ( or more openly diverse ) its a part of the world they live in and intolerance and ignorance have no place in it. I want them to have an open mind, be relaxed and comfortable with who they are and who others are too. They have also always been shown to help others regardless of how much or how little they have themselves, the smallest kind act can and does make a difference, they have seen this for themselves. If my children can be accepting, helpful and happy then I'm a good dad. Everything else is just being a decent human |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm so sorry OP
I don't understand it either.
If anything, straight males should be thanking you as you're not competing against them.
Unless of course, they are closeted themselves and in denial and that's really why they feel threatened !
Sadly, neither of us can use that logic on haters |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't care what people are/become, (apologies for how that may sound as its not meant to offend in any way), but I hate any sort of attack on another human being.
In this day and age it shouldn't be necessary to have days to highlight a persons chosen path but due to a minority of homophobic people out there its clearly still required.
I won't lie, I've never been as understanding as I am now but a special lady on here and these forums have helped me become a much better person.
Be proud of whoever you are right now and embrace those who truly love you for the person you are "
That’s good to hear that fab has helped you understand |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sadly OP, if you read the Forums regularly you will find your answer. It appears that these days it is far easier to attack the person than to try and understand their point of view, where it differs from one's own, or to raise cogent arguments to counter their stated position. In the forums it is usually verbal slights but in the street it can get physical. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have read about things happening around Birmingham sadly. Attacks like that are on the rise around the country. Ignorance breeds hate in some.
And some people wonder why we have the pride events |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Never understood homophobia, and cannot understand why you’d want or even feel compelled to attack a person just for their sexuality. I could (possibly) understand a group of gay men attacking a known homophobe…but they don’t. I remember being taken to HR because I was apparently ‘bullying and intimidating’ this woman all because I made her do her job with a gay man (the fact he was gay had 100% affect on his ability to do the job - one he did quite poorly but that was another issue) she said that all gay men are paedophiles…I spent the whole day telling how much of a disgusting homophobe she was.
Guess HR saw it differently.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
