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Why is introducing myself so terrifying?
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When it comes to approaching a new face to say hello whenever I'm at a club, I don't do or say anything.
I'm scared of what they might say. Will they say hello back or will they tell me to get lost?
I've been like this as long as I can remember and it makes me feel less confident in myself. |
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Just be yourself everyone is there for the same reason x there's no shame in starting a Convo even if it doesn't go anywhere x don't stress it just enjoy and go with no pre Conceived ideas of playing just go for drinks and if stuff happens it happens x if not then just have a laugh and get some practice chatting and becoming more comfy x |
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"You have a right to exist.
Don't wait for permission to take part in life.
Are you alone or with others ?
Do you mean a swingers club or some other social situation ? "
I would be fine when I meet up with someone I know at a swinging club but if I'm on my own, that's where I'm stuck. |
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"Just be yourself everyone is there for the same reason x there's no shame in starting a Convo even if it doesn't go anywhere x don't stress it just enjoy and go with no pre Conceived ideas of playing just go for drinks and if stuff happens it happens x if not then just have a laugh and get some practice chatting and becoming more comfy x "
I always make sure I go to a club with zero expectations. I can understand that others go for the same reason but even so, I still struggle. |
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Just be natural but you gotta just get the courage and get in there if anything it will be a polite no in a club rather than the harshness you can get out in the real world x good luck you got this x |
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I can’t see why people would tell someone to get lost if they politely say hello to them unless I’m that naive  ..We are not looking for men sexually but we’ve met some lovely men in group socials that we’ve had lovely conversations with.Just be yourself if someone chooses to ignore you then that’s on them not you. |
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"I can’t see why people would tell someone to get lost if they politely say hello to them unless I’m that naive ..We are not looking for men sexually but we’ve met some lovely men in group socials that we’ve had lovely conversations with.Just be yourself if someone chooses to ignore you then that’s on them not you."
I'm afraid to say you're that naive. |
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"Just be natural but you gotta just get the courage and get in there if anything it will be a polite no in a club rather than the harshness you can get out in the real world x good luck you got this x"
I wish it was that easy. If I see someone that looks nice, my mind wants me to go over there but my body does nothing. It's like I'm walking into a brick wall. I try to muster the courage up but end up being too late when I see they're talking to someone else. |
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"Just be natural but you gotta just get the courage and get in there if anything it will be a polite no in a club rather than the harshness you can get out in the real world x good luck you got this x
I wish it was that easy. If I see someone that looks nice, my mind wants me to go over there but my body does nothing. It's like I'm walking into a brick wall. I try to muster the courage up but end up being too late when I see they're talking to someone else."
That sounds painfully familiar. |
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"Just be natural but you gotta just get the courage and get in there if anything it will be a polite no in a club rather than the harshness you can get out in the real world x good luck you got this x
I wish it was that easy. If I see someone that looks nice, my mind wants me to go over there but my body does nothing. It's like I'm walking into a brick wall. I try to muster the courage up but end up being too late when I see they're talking to someone else.
That sounds painfully familiar."
How familiar? |
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"Just be natural but you gotta just get the courage and get in there if anything it will be a polite no in a club rather than the harshness you can get out in the real world x good luck you got this x
I wish it was that easy. If I see someone that looks nice, my mind wants me to go over there but my body does nothing. It's like I'm walking into a brick wall. I try to muster the courage up but end up being too late when I see they're talking to someone else.
That sounds painfully familiar.
How familiar?"
The paralysis until the moment's passed. |
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"Just be natural but you gotta just get the courage and get in there if anything it will be a polite no in a club rather than the harshness you can get out in the real world x good luck you got this x
I wish it was that easy. If I see someone that looks nice, my mind wants me to go over there but my body does nothing. It's like I'm walking into a brick wall. I try to muster the courage up but end up being too late when I see they're talking to someone else.
That sounds painfully familiar.
How familiar?
The paralysis until the moment's passed."
Yeah. I see what you mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When it comes to approaching a new face to say hello whenever I'm at a club, I don't do or say anything.
I'm scared of what they might say. Will they say hello back or will they tell me to get lost?
I've been like this as long as I can remember and it makes me feel less confident in myself."
They're probably feeling the same thing. Nothing to worry about. If you make a mistake. You've learned something new.
Or putting it politely, you may be not their type. You shouldn't take it to heart. I know it's awkward and you may feel rejected, but don't worry about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When it comes to approaching a new face to say hello whenever I'm at a club, I don't do or say anything.
I'm scared of what they might say. Will they say hello back or will they tell me to get lost?
I've been like this as long as I can remember and it makes me feel less confident in myself."
All that stems from childhood.
Trace back to any experience's you had that made you feel a way to how you are now as an adult. |
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"When it comes to approaching a new face to say hello whenever I'm at a club, I don't do or say anything.
I'm scared of what they might say. Will they say hello back or will they tell me to get lost?
I've been like this as long as I can remember and it makes me feel less confident in myself.
They're probably feeling the same thing. Nothing to worry about. If you make a mistake. You've learned something new.
Or putting it politely, you may be not their type. You shouldn't take it to heart. I know it's awkward and you may feel rejected, but don't worry about it. "
True but the problem is with me having Asperger's, I'm not good at reading social cues. |
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"When it comes to approaching a new face to say hello whenever I'm at a club, I don't do or say anything.
I'm scared of what they might say. Will they say hello back or will they tell me to get lost?
I've been like this as long as I can remember and it makes me feel less confident in myself.
All that stems from childhood.
Trace back to any experience's you had that made you feel a way to how you are now as an adult."
The only things I can remember from my childhood is being bullied, feeling like I was ugly and no one would like me.
Perhaps these could be what is causing my social anxiety. |
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