FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why is it so hard to get a fwb
Why is it so hard to get a fwb
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back 
Can't be that bad in bed, can I?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
Some men seem to just wanna ‘tick - ? done’
:-/ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *omRachCouple
over a year ago
Wirral |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Nothing wrong with you that I can see, I certainly wouldn't be batting you off.
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP have tried going to a club?
We both had similar problems meeting people who we wanted to see an a bit of a regular basis then met at a club. Been living together for almost two years now and have a lovely group of friends we meet up with on a regular basis at Jaydees near St Neots. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss."
I definitely do not have 5 FWBs on the go - can't even get the one!
That's the thing though, I just want that one person I can hit up whenever I'm in the mood for a little bone sesh  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This is definitely the place to find fwbs but you have to get the right chemistry. It took my a few false starts and there have been some stumbles along the way but after a year I have found some wonderful men. So keep trying! I do tend to talk to them for a while before I meet them and this then filters out those who are just after a quick shag.
Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel your pain. I have regulars as such but a fwb where it’s slightly more than fuck and go would be good. When I mentioned this to one regular before he told me fab is not a dating site. Surely you can have something in between right? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *an4funMan
over a year ago
london |
"Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss.
I definitely do not have 5 FWBs on the go - can't even get the one!
That's the thing though, I just want that one person I can hit up whenever I'm in the mood for a little bone sesh "
What if they aren't available for sometime? They won't be on call 24/7 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss.
I definitely do not have 5 FWBs on the go - can't even get the one!
That's the thing though, I just want that one person I can hit up whenever I'm in the mood for a little bone sesh "
Good luck with that..that I can respect.
BUT you see my point don't you? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss.
I definitely do not have 5 FWBs on the go - can't even get the one!
That's the thing though, I just want that one person I can hit up whenever I'm in the mood for a little bone sesh "
That sounds more like a fuck buddy and they are two a penny but don't expect too much interaction between boning. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss.
I definitely do not have 5 FWBs on the go - can't even get the one!
That's the thing though, I just want that one person I can hit up whenever I'm in the mood for a little bone sesh
What if they aren't available for sometime? They won't be on call 24/7"
Whenever I try scheduling ahead I almost always get cancelled on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss.
I definitely do not have 5 FWBs on the go - can't even get the one!
That's the thing though, I just want that one person I can hit up whenever I'm in the mood for a little bone sesh Good luck with that..that I can respect.
BUT you see my point don't you?"
Nope |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss.
I definitely do not have 5 FWBs on the go - can't even get the one!
That's the thing though, I just want that one person I can hit up whenever I'm in the mood for a little bone sesh Good luck with that..that I can respect.
BUT you see my point don't you?
Nope"
As Dan 4 fun states...availability can be a complex issue.
Unless you have the patience for that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would love a regular friend with benefits someone I could play with trust and push my kinky boundaries with. Thought I had found one but nope no such luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
Hi my lovely.
Firstly - I can sympathise. I had exactly that experience until this summer - and had absolutely no luck finding a bubble buddy during all the lockdowns - so had sex around 3 times in over a year!
However - perhaps it varies from area to area - but I found that all the involuntary celibacy focused a lot of the genuine singles and they (and myself) saw the benefit of a few regular fond friends rather than a series of random fucks - especially as a new covid spike means the tap could be switched off again at any time.
I now have 2 or 3 regular friends who are both great company and damned fine in bed. If I play with ‘randomers’ it tends to be at clubs and parties.
Good luck op - it’s just a matter of meeting/chatting with the right people.
As an aside - the guys who are now my FWB’s aren’t my usual type - in that they’re older than I usually go for - but bloody amazing in bed and excellent company.
Sometimes you have to broaden your horizons a little to find what you want. 
Hope this helps.
Hugs
Peachy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
Only the guts you've met could say about your bedroom skills.. do any of your verifications says you suck like a dyson ?
No seriously..
Can you Define what a F.W.B. is to you? Is this something you discuss with the gents before meeting glthem. It may be your definition is different to the guys idea.
Some gents and ladies are here for one offs, some are open to meeting more than once others are looking for more.
2goods third law of fab.. tbe more niche your requirements the longer you'll search.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I guess I've been lucky. The very few guys I've met from here have all turned into FWB...saying that I only ever have 1 on the go at a time.
Hopefully you find what you're looking for OP...it can happen x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I?
Only the guts you've met could say about your bedroom skills.. do any of your verifications says you suck like a dyson ?
No seriously..
Can you Define what a F.W.B. is to you? Is this something you discuss with the gents before meeting glthem. It may be your definition is different to the guys idea.
Some gents and ladies are here for one offs, some are open to meeting more than once others are looking for more.
2goods third law of fab.. tbe more niche your requirements the longer you'll search.
"
Don't really think my requirements are that niche are they? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I?
Hi my lovely.
Firstly - I can sympathise. I had exactly that experience until this summer - and had absolutely no luck finding a bubble buddy during all the lockdowns - so had sex around 3 times in over a year!
However - perhaps it varies from area to area - but I found that all the involuntary celibacy focused a lot of the genuine singles and they (and myself) saw the benefit of a few regular fond friends rather than a series of random fucks - especially as a new covid spike means the tap could be switched off again at any time.
I now have 2 or 3 regular friends who are both great company and damned fine in bed. If I play with ‘randomers’ it tends to be at clubs and parties.
Good luck op - it’s just a matter of meeting/chatting with the right people.
As an aside - the guys who are now my FWB’s aren’t my usual type - in that they’re older than I usually go for - but bloody amazing in bed and excellent company.
Sometimes you have to broaden your horizons a little to find what you want.
Hope this helps.
Hugs
Peachy "
Thanks Peachy. Definitely finding it harder getting back into it post-lockdowns. I did open up my filters a little a while ago but no luck yet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s easy to find a FB… regular sex with no strings, some pleasantries but it stops there.
Finding a FWB though is difficult. I find most say they want FWB but actually they mean FB.
Either that or they think that me wanting FWB as the ideal, means that I want a relationship… which is definitely NOT what I want. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s easy to find a FB… regular sex with no strings, some pleasantries but it stops there.
Finding a FWB though is difficult. I find most say they want FWB but actually they mean FB.
Either that or they think that me wanting FWB as the ideal, means that I want a relationship… which is definitely NOT what I want."
I don't think either is easy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There are some that are looking for another regular FWB so don't give up OP.
Its often distance and clashes with available time that can be as much an issue as anything else.
Ideally I'd like 2 regular FWB's as I've had a situation like that before and felt very fulfilled and content, I just need to find that elusive 2nd one who is happy with things where sharing is the norm. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I guess I've been lucky. The very few guys I've met from here have all turned into FWB...saying that I only ever have 1 on the go at a time.
Hopefully you find what you're looking for OP...it can happen x"
Looking for a new one ? Xx lol xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel your pain. I have regulars as such but a fwb where it’s slightly more than fuck and go would be good. When I mentioned this to one regular before he told me fab is not a dating site. Surely you can have something in between right? "
Of course you can, as long as that is what you are both looking for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I want a fwb but have so little time free it ends up just being occasional meets. Just how my work/lufe balance Is at the moment. "
But why can't those occasional meets be with the same person? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
Let's see... message me? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I guess I've been lucky. The very few guys I've met from here have all turned into FWB...saying that I only ever have 1 on the go at a time.
Hopefully you find what you're looking for OP...it can happen x
Looking for a new one ? Xx lol xx"
1 at a time is more than enough x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I want a fwb but have so little time free it ends up just being occasional meets. Just how my work/lufe balance Is at the moment.
But why can't those occasional meets be with the same person? "
Oh they can and often are. Much prefer to meet the same and get a connection rather than randoms. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
If I didn’t get a reply I’d take as they had moved on and the interaction was done |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Tell me about it. I just want a woman that lives fairly close, has a mischievous kinky mind and isn’t afraid of expressing their desires, whilst being able to park the drama.
The only thing you can do OP is keep looking. I keep telling myself; “this isn’t working, why do I invest time in this, it’s too bloody difficult, too many pitfalls” but well hope, hope keeps me going. One day I will find someone as debauched as me. Till then, I’ll keep looking at the pictures. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It is difficult op. And it does depend what you want. I’ve always found what I wanted on here. A couple of times I was ok with sharing, a couple of times I wasn’t. I’ve now decided I don’t want to share, therefore making it much more difficult for myself. I won’t change though, I know what I want and if it happens it happens. It can get frustrating at times. Depends if you’re willing to budge though, which I’m not x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are people a lot more busy with work these days, that when they have time off - they're probably too exhausted to do anything else  "
I'd rather be exhausted from sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Are people a lot more busy with work these days, that when they have time off - they're probably too exhausted to do anything else
I'd rather be exhausted from sex."
Was gonna say. Don’t think I’ve ever been too exhausted for sex!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sadly your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea on life. And many guys will hit it once to figure out you aren’t there’s. Which can leave a used feeling in your soul
Focus on yourself and what you can offer. What can you give that’ll keep a guy coming back that others can’t? What makes you worth it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
Sorry to hear your having this issue I'd say I have the same problem but I'm a single man here it's hard enought to meet people let alone become fwb with some one.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I?
Only the guts you've met could say about your bedroom skills.. do any of your verifications says you suck like a dyson ?
No seriously..
Can you Define what a F.W.B. is to you? Is this something you discuss with the gents before meeting glthem. It may be your definition is different to the guys idea.
Some gents and ladies are here for one offs, some are open to meeting more than once others are looking for more.
2goods third law of fab.. tbe more niche your requirements the longer you'll search.
Don't really think my requirements are that niche are they? "
I don't know what your definition is of a fwb or what the criteria is for the gent,
You define the requirements.. they might not seem niche they maybe mainstream yet you're not finding what you seek.
No one has it easy in fab land, gents often think ladies do because theres loads of guys . if none are what you seek or looking for the same it makes zero difference.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"Sadly your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea on life. And many guys will hit it once to figure out you aren’t there’s. Which can leave a used feeling in your soul
Focus on yourself and what you can offer. What can you give that’ll keep a guy coming back that others can’t? What makes you worth it? "
This 
I'm currently running auditions for a new one. It's hard work! (Not the sex bit, but the timings and alignings of needs) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sadly your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea on life. And many guys will hit it once to figure out you aren’t there’s. Which can leave a used feeling in your soul
Focus on yourself and what you can offer. What can you give that’ll keep a guy coming back that others can’t? What makes you worth it? "
Can always count on you for a healthy dose of reality
Problem is though that they keep telling me they wanna fuck again (without me asking) but then when it actually comes to it they cancel.
I've asked outright before whether they're still into it - I'm a big girl, I can handle rejection, but most of the time the answer is a resounding yes. But when it comes to actually scheduling something they're suddenly super busy or just straight up ghost.
The worst is the ghosters that will randomly pop back up months later. Boy, bye |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sadly your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea on life. And many guys will hit it once to figure out you aren’t there’s. Which can leave a used feeling in your soul
Focus on yourself and what you can offer. What can you give that’ll keep a guy coming back that others can’t? What makes you worth it?
Can always count on you for a healthy dose of reality
Problem is though that they keep telling me they wanna fuck again (without me asking) but then when it actually comes to it they cancel.
I've asked outright before whether they're still into it - I'm a big girl, I can handle rejection, but most of the time the answer is a resounding yes. But when it comes to actually scheduling something they're suddenly super busy or just straight up ghost.
The worst is the ghosters that will randomly pop back up months later. Boy, bye "
Thirsty guys that wanna keep the door open for when they’re horny enough
Actions over words. 1 chance. Meet or block. Be cut throat
If I wanna fuck a girl and she says I’ll move mountains to make it happen. Don’t believe this “oh sorry I’ve unexpected” fuck off.
1 chance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea on life. And many guys will hit it once to figure out you aren’t there’s. Which can leave a used feeling in your soul
Focus on yourself and what you can offer. What can you give that’ll keep a guy coming back that others can’t? What makes you worth it?
Can always count on you for a healthy dose of reality
Problem is though that they keep telling me they wanna fuck again (without me asking) but then when it actually comes to it they cancel.
I've asked outright before whether they're still into it - I'm a big girl, I can handle rejection, but most of the time the answer is a resounding yes. But when it comes to actually scheduling something they're suddenly super busy or just straight up ghost.
The worst is the ghosters that will randomly pop back up months later. Boy, bye "
Aw love, you sound like me! Completely upfront and have amazing sex but, most it seems have kids and busy jobs which is great but, not brilliant, for when you want regular. Then you find the ones you want the most work opposite hours and can’t keep up haha! The ones that are keen, the spark isn’t there! Poor us
It just gets so much better with fwbs, doesn’t it?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I want a fwb but have so little time free it ends up just being occasional meets. Just how my work/lufe balance Is at the moment.
But why can't those occasional meets be with the same person?
Oh they can and often are. Much prefer to meet the same and get a connection rather than randoms. "
I also prefer to have a connection, not interested in one night stands (unless a meet was a disaster of course) but I prefer to make a friend, get to know people and have regular play and I’ve been lucky with my two meets.
Depends what you want and how regular I guess. You tend to learn as you go.
I’ve had a meet every few weeks and a weekly meet.
Hope you find what you are looking for.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are people a lot more busy with work these days, that when they have time off - they're probably too exhausted to do anything else
I'd rather be exhausted from sex."
Well yeah me too! If you've sat on your arse and done 30/40 hours a week at a desk - that MIGHT not be exhausting - but I'm sure there are jobs that are.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
The issue as I see it is that many find the F in the dynamic hard. It’s making time for each other, building that friendship and keeping it casual without commitment.
Also there’s the issue of impermanence with FWB arrangements, things change, people meet others and dynamics shift.
It might be great whilst it lasts but people are fickle creatures and FWB dynamics don’t last. At least with one or two meets, you know where things stand and people are certain.
I’m not saying that I’m against them and if I found one, I wouldn’t be happy but I can see why many people don’t want to get into them. They seem to be a case of convenience rather than actual friendships for the most part. Dating without actually dating and getting the worst of both worlds |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The issue as I see it is that many find the F in the dynamic hard. It’s making time for each other, building that friendship and keeping it casual without commitment.
Also there’s the issue of impermanence with FWB arrangements, things change, people meet others and dynamics shift.
It might be great whilst it lasts but people are fickle creatures and FWB dynamics don’t last. At least with one or two meets, you know where things stand and people are certain.
I’m not saying that I’m against them and if I found one, I wouldn’t be happy but I can see why many people don’t want to get into them. They seem to be a case of convenience rather than actual friendships for the most part. Dating without actually dating and getting the worst of both worlds "
I think this is the case for many people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s easy to find a FB… regular sex with no strings, some pleasantries but it stops there.
Finding a FWB though is difficult. *** I find most say they want FWB but actually they mean FB. ***
Either that or they think that me wanting FWB as the ideal, means that I want a relationship… which is definitely NOT what I want."
Yep this!!
Especially *** |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea on life. And many guys will hit it once to figure out you aren’t there’s. Which can leave a used feeling in your soul
Focus on yourself and what you can offer. What can you give that’ll keep a guy coming back that others can’t? What makes you worth it?
This
I'm currently running auditions for a new one. It's hard work! (Not the sex bit, but the timings and alignings of needs) "
Auditions! or Cry! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea on life. And many guys will hit it once to figure out you aren’t there’s. Which can leave a used feeling in your soul
Focus on yourself and what you can offer. What can you give that’ll keep a guy coming back that others can’t? What makes you worth it? "
Fair point.
I quit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Relationships are hard.
A fwb is just another type of relationship.
Yes it doesn't have as many demands as a more traditional one but it still requires a lot of things to go right for it to work.
Think of yourself like a 3D top trump card. Your needs and wants stick out or stick in depending on what you are looking for.
You prefer blond guys but you don't really care about hair colour so that's a soft outtie for you but you are passionate about your partner being taller than that's a hard one.
So when matching up with guys unless they are taller than you, it won't work.
Now extrapolate that over every choice and personality trait. And every partner is doing the same with you.
The more complicated a relationship the more matches you need.
Your male work friends can be shorter than you... it doesn't matter. The future Mr OP needs to be.
Give yourself time and be kind to yourself in your search. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea on life. And many guys will hit it once to figure out you aren’t there’s. Which can leave a used feeling in your soul
Focus on yourself and what you can offer. What can you give that’ll keep a guy coming back that others can’t? What makes you worth it?
This
I'm currently running auditions for a new one. It's hard work! (Not the sex bit, but the timings and alignings of needs) Auditions! or Cry!"
Prospective Embedders! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Relationships are hard.
A fwb is just another type of relationship.
Yes it doesn't have as many demands as a more traditional one but it still requires a lot of things to go right for it to work.
Think of yourself like a 3D top trump card. Your needs and wants stick out or stick in depending on what you are looking for.
You prefer blond guys but you don't really care about hair colour so that's a soft outtie for you but you are passionate about your partner being taller than that's a hard one.
So when matching up with guys unless they are taller than you, it won't work.
Now extrapolate that over every choice and personality trait. And every partner is doing the same with you.
The more complicated a relationship the more matches you need.
Your male work friends can be shorter than you... it doesn't matter. The future Mr OP needs to be.
Give yourself time and be kind to yourself in your search. "
Very well put |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
Perhaps you are too good on bed and you wear them out? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
Says it all in the actions. When people gost and are hard to get hold òf, even when you have fucked.
Then your or many others are not the priority!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe because their is too much on offer which makes it a challenge you'd think having something on tap would be solving the solution as everything grows sexually and socially like a bond "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Same problem here. My theory is that men generally feel that women cannot truly do the FWB thing and are really looking to trap the man "
In my experience, that’s not the case. I think it’s because a FWB arrangement takes an awful lot of energy to build and many people just dismiss them when situations change. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *onb21Woman
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"FwBs tend to happen by accident rather than intent, in my experience anyway."
I think this is true but we all hope than in a place where so many are looking for the same thing we might just find a match. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why? Would I want to open myself up to the possibility that someone I get involved with that way may have 5 FWBs on the go?
Where might I squeeze into all that?
Enjoy the moment, shift gears and blow dust towards them as you go..the dust represents a kiss."
There’s nothing wrong with have 5-10-15-20 on the go if I am single and it’s not a closed realship people are free to do what they want
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I honestly don't think that you can "look" for an FWB, much as I don't believe that you can look for love or friendship...all you can do is put yourself in a position where you have opportunities to meet new people and see what happens. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I honestly don't think that you can "look" for an FWB, much as I don't believe that you can look for love or friendship...all you can do is put yourself in a position where you have opportunities to meet new people and see what happens. "
I was about to write exactly this. I don't get people who go looking for this. If it happens great if not then do be it. You cannot look for it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Ideally I would prefer to find someone to have a relationship with and explore this lifestyle with.
But that is probably not going to happen so an exclusive male fwb, that I could meet up with on occasion.
Club visits, push boundaries, maybe others to be involved, maybe a naughty weekend away, boring drinks/dinner, a movie.
Yes, it's bloody hard work.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uvery30Woman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
Snap op. I find a guy we chat meet social, banter, chat all of its good the bed is then even better. After all good say meet again ect. Then few messages after then it dies down to Hardly getting a reply and sorting a next meet is like impossible to do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
Shame your only looking for guys…very hawt  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Snap op. I find a guy we chat meet social, banter, chat all of its good the bed is then even better. After all good say meet again ect. Then few messages after then it dies down to Hardly getting a reply and sorting a next meet is like impossible to do. "
I think you make it seem hard work because you're looking for it where it just isn't meant to be. I've never expected it. Some people you just click and it happens. I've had it several times so it isn't impossible. The difference is I don't expect it with the wrong person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
Personally I don’t think you find them, they just happen. I lost my fwb recently because he moved away. We were in the dynamic for 3 years and we only met because he invited me over for a cup of tea and chat because I’d been stood up on here from a different meet. He wasn’t my normal type of guy either. We just clicked. Like some other people have said, just give guys you meet one chance to meet again and if they make excuses then bin them. It saves trying to invest time in people who aren’t willing to give it. Good luck x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I honestly don't think that you can "look" for an FWB, much as I don't believe that you can look for love or friendship...all you can do is put yourself in a position where you have opportunities to meet new people and see what happens. "
I agree completely. Often the act of looking is contradictory to finding what a person is looking for |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t think it’s something you can look for, it just naturally happens, just like making friends without sex involved.
When you first meet someone you have no idea if a friendship will develop or not, some you click with instantly almost as if you’ve known them all your life, others it’s a natural development or not, it can’t be forced. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uvery30Woman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
"Snap op. I find a guy we chat meet social, banter, chat all of its good the bed is then even better. After all good say meet again ect. Then few messages after then it dies down to Hardly getting a reply and sorting a next meet is like impossible to do.
I think you make it seem hard work because you're looking for it where it just isn't meant to be. I've never expected it. Some people you just click and it happens. I've had it several times so it isn't impossible. The difference is I don't expect it with the wrong person. "
Ya maybe should just let it be meet do the fun stuff and if it happens and another meet is arranged then amazing.
Just trouble is I don't want to be sleeping with lots people just a regular person. ( apart from hubby lol) xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t think it’s something you can look for, it just naturally happens, just like making friends without sex involved.
When you first meet someone you have no idea if a friendship will develop or not, some you click with instantly almost as if you’ve known them all your life, others it’s a natural development or not, it can’t be forced. "
I agree  some things just happen. It would be nice though if people were upfront at all times so it’s easy to know where you’re up to. Communication is key x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t think it’s something you can look for, it just naturally happens, just like making friends without sex involved.
When you first meet someone you have no idea if a friendship will develop or not, some you click with instantly almost as if you’ve known them all your life, others it’s a natural development or not, it can’t be forced.
I agree some things just happen. It would be nice though if people were upfront at all times so it’s easy to know where you’re up to. Communication is key x"
Agree, good communication is vital so there are no misunderstandings. Straight talking even if it isn’t what the other individual wishes to hear, clear and honest is always best |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
I'm finding the same as Im looking for the same as you, a one off is fun but getting to know someone over time is far more fun |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was under the impression that men were here for easy, uncomplicated sex on tap?? But when I offer that to guys (that I've already slept with, not just randomers) it turns into the mission of the century to even just get a reply back
Can't be that bad in bed, can I? "
This is more a one off type site, but depending on the guy you meet (chemistry too) there are fwb to be found. Just needs a bit of selecting |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have been having a similar issue but it's finding someone I'd like to meet again.
I guess what I'd like is somewhere between FWB and FB. Someone I actually like, but don't want a commitment.
I kind of agree with what most are saying, FWB just happens, its not something that can be decided after one meet, I mean, that would scare me off..trying to put a label on it straight away... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ideally I would prefer to find someone to have a relationship with and explore this lifestyle with.
But that is probably not going to happen so an exclusive male fwb, that I could meet up with on occasion.
Club visits, push boundaries, maybe others to be involved, maybe a naughty weekend away, boring drinks/dinner, a movie.
Yes, it's bloody hard work.
This is exactly what i want to. So hard to find the right person in the right part of the country
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Same problem here. My theory is that men generally feel that women cannot truly do the FWB thing and are really looking to trap the man "
This... And it's simply not true!
I don't want anyone in my life full time.
It's really hard finding that balance, guys will say they don't want to hit and run, or sleep their way through the site, but we all know, given the chance, that's probably exactly what they would do!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
