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Back where I started
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For the first time in 4 years, my social anxieties got the better of me. I have Asperger's by the way which can make it hard for me to socialise with new people. I thought I had overcome this but I guess I was wrong. 
I was at Cupids having a drink and a laugh but as soon as it got busy a couple of hours later. There were some people I wanted to talk to but I didn't as they were already chatting so I didn't want to interrupt.
I could see everyone was having a good chat and a laugh while I was standing at the bar with a drink doing nothing. I couldn't help but feel like I was invisible. It made me feel really down so I ended up leaving after being there for a few hours.
Why I feel like I'm back where I started is because I didn't know many there which made me feel anxious about meeting new people and upset that I didn't do anything. |
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"For the first time in 4 years, my social anxieties got the better of me. I have Asperger's by the way which can make it hard for me to socialise with new people. I thought I had overcome this but I guess I was wrong.
I was at Cupids having a drink and a laugh but as soon as it got busy a couple of hours later. There were some people I wanted to talk to but I didn't as they were already chatting so I didn't want to interrupt.
I could see everyone was having a good chat and a laugh while I was standing at the bar with a drink doing nothing. I couldn't help but feel like I was invisible. It made me feel really down so I ended up leaving after being there for a few hours.
Why I feel like I'm back where I started is because I didn't know many there which made me feel anxious about meeting new people and upset that I didn't do anything. "
Oh sweetie! Maybe you’d just built it up a bit too much in your mind? Couldn’t you have a quick chat with the barman/woman? Hugs x |
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Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience. 
Give yourself the credit you deserve x |
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"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x"
Exactly this ^^  |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
Chin up.
I would have been exactly the same and I do t have aspergers, you have donee 300% better than me. You actually went to the club, something I've not plucked up the courage to do yet.
Speaking to strangers is never easy.
Take small steps and be happy each one was taken, and enjoy each small victory. |
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"For the first time in 4 years, my social anxieties got the better of me. I have Asperger's by the way which can make it hard for me to socialise with new people. I thought I had overcome this but I guess I was wrong.
I was at Cupids having a drink and a laugh but as soon as it got busy a couple of hours later. There were some people I wanted to talk to but I didn't as they were already chatting so I didn't want to interrupt.
I could see everyone was having a good chat and a laugh while I was standing at the bar with a drink doing nothing. I couldn't help but feel like I was invisible. It made me feel really down so I ended up leaving after being there for a few hours.
Why I feel like I'm back where I started is because I didn't know many there which made me feel anxious about meeting new people and upset that I didn't do anything.
Oh sweetie! Maybe you’d just built it up a bit too much in your mind? Couldn’t you have a quick chat with the barman/woman? Hugs x"
I did have a chat with the host behind the bar earlier on but as soon as it got busy, I did nothing. |
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"For the first time in 4 years, my social anxieties got the better of me. I have Asperger's by the way which can make it hard for me to socialise with new people. I thought I had overcome this but I guess I was wrong.
I was at Cupids having a drink and a laugh but as soon as it got busy a couple of hours later. There were some people I wanted to talk to but I didn't as they were already chatting so I didn't want to interrupt.
I could see everyone was having a good chat and a laugh while I was standing at the bar with a drink doing nothing. I couldn't help but feel like I was invisible. It made me feel really down so I ended up leaving after being there for a few hours.
Why I feel like I'm back where I started is because I didn't know many there which made me feel anxious about meeting new people and upset that I didn't do anything. "
Hey, so you know people with out Asperger's can and do have these anxious feelings...what ever and where ever they are...so don't be so hard on your self hun...  |
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"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x"
^She’s nailed it (again) |
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"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^She’s nailed it (again)"
Can not really add much to this
I'm very much a social butterfly.... and even I struggled my first few times back to a club x |
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"For the first time in 4 years, my social anxieties got the better of me. I have Asperger's by the way which can make it hard for me to socialise with new people. I thought I had overcome this but I guess I was wrong.
I was at Cupids having a drink and a laugh but as soon as it got busy a couple of hours later. There were some people I wanted to talk to but I didn't as they were already chatting so I didn't want to interrupt.
I could see everyone was having a good chat and a laugh while I was standing at the bar with a drink doing nothing. I couldn't help but feel like I was invisible. It made me feel really down so I ended up leaving after being there for a few hours.
Why I feel like I'm back where I started is because I didn't know many there which made me feel anxious about meeting new people and upset that I didn't do anything.
Hey, so you know people with out Asperger's can and do have these anxious feelings...what ever and where ever they are...so don't be so hard on your self hun... "
I'll do my best not to |
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"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x"
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP "
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just see it as building back in stages. The fact you even went is great, even if it ended up as just a look about. Next time you may be able to connect, it doesnt have to be a rush. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x"
Couldn't have put this any better.
|
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"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled"
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts."
Totally agree.
I have similar difficulties to you OP.
Iv really struggled in social situations recently since covid as I had got out of practice and my masking skills had slipped. Small steps and remember that even though you feel like you were the only one feeling like that in the club you almost certainly weren't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts.
Totally agree.
I have similar difficulties to you OP.
Iv really struggled in social situations recently since covid as I had got out of practice and my masking skills had slipped. Small steps and remember that even though you feel like you were the only one feeling like that in the club you almost certainly weren't. "
True but I did feel like I was alone while I was there. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts.
Totally agree.
I have similar difficulties to you OP.
Iv really struggled in social situations recently since covid as I had got out of practice and my masking skills had slipped. Small steps and remember that even though you feel like you were the only one feeling like that in the club you almost certainly weren't.
True but I did feel like I was alone while I was there."
I'm sure you did, I would have done too but I'm sure you weren't.
Lots of people in that room would have been really nervous or unnoticed that possibly just better at masking it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts.
Totally agree.
I have similar difficulties to you OP.
Iv really struggled in social situations recently since covid as I had got out of practice and my masking skills had slipped. Small steps and remember that even though you feel like you were the only one feeling like that in the club you almost certainly weren't.
True but I did feel like I was alone while I was there.
I'm sure you did, I would have done too but I'm sure you weren't.
Lots of people in that room would have been really nervous or unnoticed that possibly just better at masking it. "
Probably yeah |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts.
Totally agree.
I have similar difficulties to you OP.
Iv really struggled in social situations recently since covid as I had got out of practice and my masking skills had slipped. Small steps and remember that even though you feel like you were the only one feeling like that in the club you almost certainly weren't.
True but I did feel like I was alone while I was there.
I'm sure you did, I would have done too but I'm sure you weren't.
Lots of people in that room would have been really nervous or unnoticed that possibly just better at masking it.
Probably yeah"
Do have any coping strategies you could use in uncomfortable social situations? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts.
Totally agree.
I have similar difficulties to you OP.
Iv really struggled in social situations recently since covid as I had got out of practice and my masking skills had slipped. Small steps and remember that even though you feel like you were the only one feeling like that in the club you almost certainly weren't.
True but I did feel like I was alone while I was there.
I'm sure you did, I would have done too but I'm sure you weren't.
Lots of people in that room would have been really nervous or unnoticed that possibly just better at masking it.
Probably yeah
Do have any coping strategies you could use in uncomfortable social situations?"
I wish I could remember |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts.
Totally agree.
I have similar difficulties to you OP.
Iv really struggled in social situations recently since covid as I had got out of practice and my masking skills had slipped. Small steps and remember that even though you feel like you were the only one feeling like that in the club you almost certainly weren't.
True but I did feel like I was alone while I was there.
I'm sure you did, I would have done too but I'm sure you weren't.
Lots of people in that room would have been really nervous or unnoticed that possibly just better at masking it.
Probably yeah
Do have any coping strategies you could use in uncomfortable social situations?
I wish I could remember"
I think that is where you need to start then my lovely.
Maybe practice and start small like in a coffee shop or small groups of people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x"
very well put |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Right you, I'm gonna tell ya and you're gonna listen (that's me in my mummy voice)
Considering the last 20 months, it's incredibly normal to feel that way. Yes, I can totally see how it would feel like a huge leap backwards and be frustrating however you really aren't alone.
Lots and lots of people without aspergers are feeling the same, so you're actually in a better position than them. You've overcome it before so have the skills and the tools and awareness to do so. You ain't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Give yourself the credit you deserve x
^Exactly this, I’m a confident outgoing person and the thought of going to a club on my own scares the bejesus out of me, so you’re already one step ahead..you have and will overcome this again OP
Wish I could remember how I did before. What is sad though is I feel like my confidence has dwindled
It will have dwindled because you're out of practice, not because there's something wrong with you or because you're not good enough or any of those intrusive bullshit thoughts that creep in. Purely out of practice. You've done nothing wrong, you haven't caused it. It's one of the side effects from covid...not from catching it but one of the societal impacts.
Totally agree.
I have similar difficulties to you OP.
Iv really struggled in social situations recently since covid as I had got out of practice and my masking skills had slipped. Small steps and remember that even though you feel like you were the only one feeling like that in the club you almost certainly weren't.
True but I did feel like I was alone while I was there.
I'm sure you did, I would have done too but I'm sure you weren't.
Lots of people in that room would have been really nervous or unnoticed that possibly just better at masking it.
Probably yeah
Do have any coping strategies you could use in uncomfortable social situations?
I wish I could remember
I think that is where you need to start then my lovely.
Maybe practice and start small like in a coffee shop or small groups of people. "
I'll give it a try but it will probably be a while before I do that. |
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Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm feeling better than I was last night. I understand that what's been happening in the past 20 months has affected others when it comes to socialising.
It will probably take me some time to get used to being back out there. |
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