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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I see lots of girls say thing like (i like this n that fill every hole doing this behind my bf’s back). And think a would help you out lol. But wonder if girls would think the same if a guy posted saying am cheating on my gf think that would go down like a lead balloon. What does people think? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
The answer is that there is a double standard on fab and in life regarding cheaters dependent on your gender.
Guys are often seen as awful humans, whereas women less so.
I think that it’s because men don’t care and often enjoy the feeling of competing against another guy or ‘winning’ their partner. Whereas women can be more moralistic or want to be a guys sole interest.
Obviously these are very vague theories and there could be whole psychological studies on it. The short answer is that it’s just how it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have not once seen anybody declare on here that they are using this site behind their partners back.
People don’t generally broadcast that they are cheating on their partner especially not on a swinging site. I’m not sure what area you are but there are barely any solo females at all in my locality anyway  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The answer is that there is a double standard on fab and in life regarding cheaters dependent on your gender.
Guys are often seen as awful humans, whereas women less so.
I think that it’s because men don’t care and often enjoy the feeling of competing against another guy or ‘winning’ their partner. Whereas women can be more moralistic or want to be a guys sole interest.
Obviously these are very vague theories and there could be whole psychological studies on it. The short answer is that it’s just how it is. "
I think you have met much hot the nail on the head here.
Guys often feel like it’s a competition at times and are much more likely to meet and be turned on by a married woman than the other way around |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"I have not once seen anybody declare on here that they are using this site behind their partners back.
People don’t generally broadcast that they are cheating on their partner especially not on a swinging site. I’m not sure what area you are but there are barely any solo females at all in my locality anyway x"
They won't use the word 'cheating' but they will say that they are in a relationship and no he or she doesn't know, discretion required etc. There always has been and always will be unfortunately. |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
We usually avoid "daytime meets only" when posted by singles. Not all the time, but we believe a good deal of the time that is because they have to be home in the evenings with their partner.
We don't meet with those cheating, no matter whether they are in a loveless marriage, wife gone off sex, hubby can't get it up or any other excuse. We appreciate those who put on their profile that they are playing away, that is automatically the block button. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We try to avoid cheats by asking questions etc but a fact of life cheats are good at lying and often won't want you to go to their place. This is why we don't do hotels. |
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"The answer is that there is a double standard on fab and in life regarding cheaters dependent on your gender.
Guys are often seen as awful humans, whereas women less so.
I think that it’s because men don’t care and often enjoy the feeling of competing against another guy or ‘winning’ their partner. Whereas women can be more moralistic or want to be a guys sole interest.
Obviously these are very vague theories and there could be whole psychological studies on it. The short answer is that it’s just how it is. "
I think this is a sweeping statement and a massive generalisation which isn't correct
Someone's gender doesn't define their morals |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"I would say at least 98% of people on here have cheated at least once in there life.... "
In the real world 20% of divorces cite infidelity by one or both partners.
I wonder how many hypocrites don't get found out, is it as high as 98%? |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"I would say at least 98% of people on here have cheated at least once in there life...."
Why? Looks like we are in the 2%! I don't think that infidelity rates are that high. But I guess it depends on what you call cheating.
Giving someone an extended hug? Very guilty.
Giving someone a kiss (Non romantic) like a good friend. Very guilty.
Flirting? Extremely guilty!
But of course, I have seen swinging referred to as cheating. And that was someone on Fab, who was looking for extra marital sex. He couldn't see that consensual sex was not cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our theory …why cheat when you can share your best experiences with your partner??
Being open about everything and having that trust is so much better than cheating??
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have seen it a few times just today was the most recent and it got me thinking. No single girls in your area your inbox must explode at times then lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when Mr was in his 30s.he worked away from.home.and was always honest with potetnial meets.
Many women appreciated the honesty and the fact that he wouldnt want a long term relationship and was unlikely to become clingy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I get what you are saying and that’s the way to do things for both the couple to be involved its just crazy how the guys mind works and also the lady’s about seeing the same cheating post for a guy he would definitely get crucified but the girl would get her fun lol |
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"Our theory …why cheat when you can share your best experiences with your partner??
Being open about everything and having that trust is so much better than cheating??
"
That’s very fortunate for you, in a way stating the obvious.
Not everyone so lucky. A wife that’s not really interested in sex, doesn’t want to discuss it. In the end I left. It’s been dragging on years now as she refuses to sell the matrimonial home, coming to a head though but only through expensive court action. Fucked us both financially and I’ve no idea how I will afford any form of retirement. Would I do things differently if I could turn the clock back? Probably not. |
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"We try to avoid cheats by asking questions etc but a fact of life cheats are good at lying and often won't want you to go to their place. This is why we don't do hotels."
That’s the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever read!
You don’t accommodate yourselves and yet you insist people accommodate you in their own home?
They then get to watch you have sex (lucky them) and MAY get to join in some way if they’re lucky?
Laughable!
In my opinion you’re just using the homes of desperate guys because you’re too tight to book a hotel! I very much doubt it has anything to do with ensuring that they’re single. 
Like you - I don’t accommodate. Not because I’m cheating - but because I don’t want to invite virtual strangers into my home. I’m sure a lot of genuinely single men feel that way too! |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"We try to avoid cheats by asking questions etc but a fact of life cheats are good at lying and often won't want you to go to their place. This is why we don't do hotels.
That’s the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever read!
You don’t accommodate yourselves and yet you insist people accommodate you in their own home?
They then get to watch you have sex (lucky them) and MAY get to join in some way if they’re lucky?
Laughable!
In my opinion you’re just using the homes of desperate guys because you’re too tight to book a hotel! I very much doubt it has anything to do with ensuring that they’re single.
Like you - I don’t accommodate. Not because I’m cheating - but because I don’t want to invite virtual strangers into my home. I’m sure a lot of genuinely single men feel that way too! "
Tell us what you really think, this sitting on the fence sucks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We try to avoid cheats by asking questions etc but a fact of life cheats are good at lying and often won't want you to go to their place. This is why we don't do hotels.
That’s the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever read!
You don’t accommodate yourselves and yet you insist people accommodate you in their own home?
They then get to watch you have sex (lucky them) and MAY get to join in some way if they’re lucky?
Laughable!
In my opinion you’re just using the homes of desperate guys because you’re too tight to book a hotel! I very much doubt it has anything to do with ensuring that they’re single.
Like you - I don’t accommodate. Not because I’m cheating - but because I don’t want to invite virtual strangers into my home. I’m sure a lot of genuinely single men feel that way too! "
Ouch!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cheating in cheating no matter the it’s man or woman this"
Yes we know that but it seems to be more acceptable for a girl to do it than the man is what i am interested in getting opinions on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Our theory …why cheat when you can share your best experiences with your partner??
Being open about everything and having that trust is so much better than cheating??
"
This.
I had long conversations with my wife, hard conversations. It took time but we found common ground and we moved forwards together.
I have no need to cheat. If I want (or she wants) someone else, we fill the need working together.
Obviously it's not that simple but it's also not that hard from my perspective |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have not once seen anybody declare on here that they are using this site behind their partners back.
People don’t generally broadcast that they are cheating on their partner especially not on a swinging site. I’m not sure what area you are but there are barely any solo females at all in my locality anyway x"
I have definitely seen loads of profiles and forum posts where people have said they are here without their partners knowledge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Our theory …why cheat when you can share your best experiences with your partner??
Being open about everything and having that trust is so much better than cheating??
This.
I had long conversations with my wife, hard conversations. It took time but we found common ground and we moved forwards together.
I have no need to cheat. If I want (or she wants) someone else, we fill the need working together.
Obviously it's not that simple but it's also not that hard from my perspective "
Totally agree guys x |
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"Cheating in cheating no matter the it’s man or woman this
Yes we know that but it seems to be more acceptable for a girl to do it than the man is what i am interested in getting opinions on "
I think it comes down to differences in the ‘general’ male and female psyche. I think a man is more likely to see the man who is being cheated on as weak and foolish - and will feel superior to him in some way whilst he fucks the wife/girlfriend.
I think some women would be more likely to empathise/sympathise with the other woman and so stay away.
I think you see this behaviour to a lesser extent at stag and hen parties.
The hen’s friend and family see it as their responsibility to look after the hen, make sure she has a great time and see she gets home safely.
The stags friend and family will (from the many stories I’ve heard) hire prostitutes for the stag (my ex husband’s best friend did that - we weren’t swingers) - ensure the stag gets d*unk to the level that he’s virtually unconscious, shave his eyebrows off, strip him and leave him in the middle of nowhere.
A slight difference there! |
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Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion. |
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"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion. "
Weird I’d say it’s the opposite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think less men are worried about the consequences of being the helping hand to a woman cheating which is why you probably see more men who are happy to sleep with those women.
Women don't want to be brought into relationship problems so most will avoid men who are cheating. (Women can be NASTY)
Of course the two statements above are not 100% because there are sincere men who also don't want brought into relationship woes.
What do you class as cheating too? Hubby isn't keen on the idea of swinging atm but I'm still here with his agreement incase we find that "someone". If he told me tomorrow that he is absolutely done but I stayed here I'd class it as a slippery path to the cheating door. |
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"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion. "
I do agree with this. There's an expectation particularly among older generations that good girls keep their legs closed, and if a married man has an affair with a woman it's somehow the woman's fault - she's a husband stealer, a home-wrecker, whereas he's a man so it's almost expected of him.
I've seen it time and time again, and when I challenge why it's the woman's fault there's never a satisfactory answer. It's just assumed that it's the woman's responsibility to be the guardian of virtue and the man wouldn't cheat if she didn't make herself sexually available to him.
Thankfully I don't notice it as much in millenials and genZ, so I'm hoping it is changing.
On here though most of the time women can get away with a lot more than men before we get castigated. |
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"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion.
I do agree with this. There's an expectation particularly among older generations that good girls keep their legs closed, and if a married man has an affair with a woman it's somehow the woman's fault - she's a husband stealer, a home-wrecker, whereas he's a man so it's almost expected of him.
I've seen it time and time again, and when I challenge why it's the woman's fault there's never a satisfactory answer. It's just assumed that it's the woman's responsibility to be the guardian of virtue and the man wouldn't cheat if she didn't make herself sexually available to him.
Thankfully I don't notice it as much in millenials and genZ, so I'm hoping it is changing.
On here though most of the time women can get away with a lot more than men before we get castigated."
Great post!   |
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"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion.
I do agree with this. There's an expectation particularly among older generations that good girls keep their legs closed, and if a married man has an affair with a woman it's somehow the woman's fault - she's a husband stealer, a home-wrecker, whereas he's a man so it's almost expected of him.
I've seen it time and time again, and when I challenge why it's the woman's fault there's never a satisfactory answer. It's just assumed that it's the woman's responsibility to be the guardian of virtue and the man wouldn't cheat if she didn't make herself sexually available to him.
Thankfully I don't notice it as much in millenials and genZ, so I'm hoping it is changing.
On here though most of the time women can get away with a lot more than men before we get castigated."
You've written exactly what I was thinking but in a far better way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion. "
I live in a rural place. Men who cheat are disliked. They have a reputation but its Men being men. It happens.
Women who cheat can't have a conversation with a man in the local shop. Men avoid them because you don't want to be associated with home wreckers. Other women don't want to associate with them because she might steal your husband next.
It's all bullshit and nonsense.
But it's cultural. |
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"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion.
I live in a rural place. Men who cheat are disliked. They have a reputation but its Men being men. It happens.
Women who cheat can't have a conversation with a man in the local shop. Men avoid them because you don't want to be associated with home wreckers. Other women don't want to associate with them because she might steal your husband next.
It's all bullshit and nonsense.
But it's cultural. "
Same I'm from a rural area and this is very much what I've encountered. Women are the homewreckers who somehow bewitch feckless men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion.
I do agree with this. There's an expectation particularly among older generations that good girls keep their legs closed, and if a married man has an affair with a woman it's somehow the woman's fault - she's a husband stealer, a home-wrecker, whereas he's a man so it's almost expected of him.
I've seen it time and time again, and when I challenge why it's the woman's fault there's never a satisfactory answer. It's just assumed that it's the woman's responsibility to be the guardian of virtue and the man wouldn't cheat if she didn't make herself sexually available to him.
Thankfully I don't notice it as much in millenials and genZ, so I'm hoping it is changing.
On here though most of the time women can get away with a lot more than men before we get castigated."
Every fairy tale has a temptress luring a man to do mad shit.
The bible has eve, jezabel ect.
Judging women is cooked into our culture |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion.
I do agree with this. There's an expectation particularly among older generations that good girls keep their legs closed, and if a married man has an affair with a woman it's somehow the woman's fault - she's a husband stealer, a home-wrecker, whereas he's a man so it's almost expected of him.
I've seen it time and time again, and when I challenge why it's the woman's fault there's never a satisfactory answer. It's just assumed that it's the woman's responsibility to be the guardian of virtue and the man wouldn't cheat if she didn't make herself sexually available to him.
Thankfully I don't notice it as much in millenials and genZ, so I'm hoping it is changing.
On here though most of the time women can get away with a lot more than men before we get castigated.
Every fairy tale has a temptress luring a man to do mad shit.
The bible has eve, jezabel ect.
Judging women is cooked into our culture "
Who judges women the most when they are found out having an affair, is it men or women? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe they find it easier on fab by I don't that is the case outside of fab. The names and a reputation a woman will get on the outside world for cheating are much harder than what men get in my opinion.
I live in a rural place. Men who cheat are disliked. They have a reputation but its Men being men. It happens.
Women who cheat can't have a conversation with a man in the local shop. Men avoid them because you don't want to be associated with home wreckers. Other women don't want to associate with them because she might steal your husband next.
It's all bullshit and nonsense.
But it's cultural.
Same I'm from a rural area and this is very much what I've encountered. Women are the homewreckers who somehow bewitch feckless men "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Our theory …why cheat when you can share your best experiences with your partner??
Being open about everything and having that trust is so much better than cheating??
This.
I had long conversations with my wife, hard conversations. It took time but we found common ground and we moved forwards together.
I have no need to cheat. If I want (or she wants) someone else, we fill the need working together.
Obviously it's not that simple but it's also not that hard from my perspective
Totally agree guys x"
I think people are just to scared to tell there partners in fear of losing them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Our theory …why cheat when you can share your best experiences with your partner??
Being open about everything and having that trust is so much better than cheating??
This.
I had long conversations with my wife, hard conversations. It took time but we found common ground and we moved forwards together.
I have no need to cheat. If I want (or she wants) someone else, we fill the need working together.
Obviously it's not that simple but it's also not that hard from my perspective
Totally agree guys x
I think people are just to scared to tell there partners in fear of losing them. "
Possibly and each cpl will be different but your partner is supposed to be your closest “friend” so tell them what you like , dislike etc and see where it takes you  |
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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"The answer is that there is a double standard on fab and in life regarding cheaters dependent on your gender.
Guys are often seen as awful humans, whereas women less so "
I'm not sure it's like this in life in general. Women are seen as whores and homewreckers and men just succumb to their urges.
There are whole websites dedicated to shaming "the other woman", too, instead of the cheating husband. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"The answer is that there is a double standard on fab and in life regarding cheaters dependent on your gender.
Guys are often seen as awful humans, whereas women less so.
I think that it’s because men don’t care and often enjoy the feeling of competing against another guy or ‘winning’ their partner. Whereas women can be more moralistic or want to be a guys sole interest.
Obviously these are very vague theories and there could be whole psychological studies on it. The short answer is that it’s just how it is.
I think this is a sweeping statement and a massive generalisation which isn't correct
Someone's gender doesn't define their morals "
Sweeping statements and generalisations yes, not being correct? In specific cases, no but in terms of people, absolutely correct. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Our theory …why cheat when you can share your best experiences with your partner??
Being open about everything and having that trust is so much better than cheating??
"
That’s exactly what my ex said to me when I asked her if she was cheating, whilst she was cheating on me. |
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Thing is you really can’t generalise and put everyone in the same box. Every single situation is different and contrary to what the majority tend to think on these forums it really isn’t just black or white. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We usually avoid "daytime meets only" when posted by singles. Not all the time, but we believe a good deal of the time that is because they have to be home in the evenings with their partner.
We don't meet with those cheating, no matter whether they are in a loveless marriage, wife gone off sex, hubby can't get it up or any other excuse. We appreciate those who put on their profile that they are playing away, that is automatically the block button."
|
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"Thing is you really can’t generalise and put everyone in the same box. Every single situation is different and contrary to what the majority tend to think on these forums it really isn’t just black or white. "
Spot on. |
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"I would say at least 98% of people on here have cheated at least once in there life....
Why? Looks like we are in the 2%! I don't think that infidelity rates are that high. But I guess it depends on what you call cheating.
Giving someone an extended hug? Very guilty.
Giving someone a kiss (Non romantic) like a good friend. Very guilty.
Flirting? Extremely guilty!
But of course, I have seen swinging referred to as cheating. And that was someone on Fab, who was looking for extra marital sex. He couldn't see that consensual sex was not cheating. "
I agree it isn’t cheating by most peoples definitions. It is however adultery, not that that is a problem either, knock yourselves out, we all have our different moral codes. I’m presuming most of Fab do not strictly follow the major religions of the world or they wouldn’t have sex outside marriage at all. Live and let live and apply your own morals to your life I say . Not a personal criticism at all you sound like lovely folk with a define moral code. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I disagree with cheating no matter what their gender,I only meet men and its a turn off if they're boasting about cheating on a partner.
However, seen lots of posts about how many men think its hot meeting a cheating women, they feel they're satisfying them when their men "dont". I'm not saying this is all men, just regular posts about it here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The answer is that there is a double standard on fab and in life regarding cheaters dependent on your gender.
Guys are often seen as awful humans, whereas women less so.
I think that it’s because men don’t care and often enjoy the feeling of competing against another guy or ‘winning’ their partner. Whereas women can be more moralistic or want to be a guys sole interest.
Obviously these are very vague theories and there could be whole psychological studies on it. The short answer is that it’s just how it is. "
Yes that's exactly how I view it too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don’t mind cheating men. I would rather they were honest about it though. My profile makes it clear that I do not care if the guy is married. It’s him I’m fucking, not his wife? (Unless she wants to join) I didn’t make the vows, he did. Not my issue. I am like this in RL too, I know I’m massively in the minority on this though. Not bothered.
I do get “couples” messaging me and it’s clear it’s the guy and there is no woman, absolutely pointless. Don’t lie to me, save that for your poor unsuspecting wife!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Who judges women the most when they are found out having an affair, is it men or women?"
The correct answer is both do. In different ways. Women will be agressive in their disapproval. But men will gossip with their friends and just her just as much.
One side judge and act to defend their man from the homewreaker and while the other side judge and spread tales
Men tend not to judge men who cheat as harshly as women judge women.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have had a woman try pressure me into cheating on my wife when we could have just met up with my wife's knowledge and probable cooperation.
I'm not saying women don't cheat. Or that they are blameless. |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
" Who judges women the most when they are found out having an affair, is it men or women?
The correct answer is both do. In different ways. Women will be agressive in their disapproval. But men will gossip with their friends and just her just as much.
One side judge and act to defend their man from the homewreaker and while the other side judge and spread tales
Men tend not to judge men who cheat as harshly as women judge women.
"
The bottom line is it is painful for either partner when they believes they are in a loving relationship. When the sh1t hits the fan, it is anyones guess how the partner is going to react, it is however a gossips playground. |
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