FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I’m pretty shocking at reading the signs
I’m pretty shocking at reading the signs
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a girl invites you to hers for a drink and a takeaway, is she interested?
Just to clarify I’ve already been, it did have a date feel but I’m unsure as to what it was"
You could of asked her - but you chose us.....
Good luck  |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"If a girl invites you to hers for a drink and a takeaway, is she interested?
Just to clarify I’ve already been, it did have a date feel but I’m unsure as to what it was"
It could be time to step up and take your chance to make it a date, that is if you wanted it to be a date that is.
Good luck  |
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"Hmmmm I messaged her and depending on the weather we have arranged to take her little one to the park/go for a walk "
If you are being allowed near her child I would take that as a good sign. Be nice to her and respectful. Single mothers deserve to be treated properly with respect.  |
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Shoot your shot man! It will give you the answer you want and you might end up turning it into something special
If you have too many dates without trying this you will likely end up in the friend zone.......i am assuming that you want more than that of course? Maybe you just want clarity......then definitely ask the question.
Super helpful i know. Thank me later  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve known each other since school so that’s wher the confusion comes in "
Tell her you’ll go for a walk but not with her child. Regardless if the fact you’ve known each other for ages. She shouldn’t be introducing people into her child’s life that may not be permanent. It’s a kid for fuck sake not a dog. |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"We’ve known each other since school so that’s wher the confusion comes in
Tell her you’ll go for a walk but not with her child. Regardless if the fact you’ve known each other for ages. She shouldn’t be introducing people into her child’s life that may not be permanent. It’s a kid for fuck sake not a dog. "
Unfortunately I can’t do do that her child’s under 1 and the dads a dead beat |
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"I sympathise as I'm also crap at reading signals.
I would echo what's been said above: ask her, find out what she's thinking.
But would it not make things weird? "
Depends on how you ask and what you ask. If you tell her you'd like to throw one up her then yes, it's likely to be weird. If you ask her how she'd feel about going on a date with you then it's likely to be far less weird. |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"Her own place? On your own sounds pretty serious any other signs playing with hair touching sitting very close? nahhhh she was playin with her hair abit, puttin her glasses on then off"
yea her own place
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"Her own place? On your own sounds pretty serious any other signs playing with hair touching sitting very close? nahhhh she was playin with her hair abit, puttin her glasses on then offyea her own place "
Hmm… still…. Sounds risky. I’d treat it like a friendly visit unless she makes the first move
Better safe than sorry |
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"Her own place? On your own sounds pretty serious any other signs playing with hair touching sitting very close? nahhhh she was playin with her hair abit, puttin her glasses on then offyea her own place "
Just be honest with her better a no than a what if |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Hair playin' & glasses off & on say a nervous thing to me. Not making her mind up quite. Perhaps she wants to impress?
I do that I just can't see close up now. Grrr. But got good distance vision. Could be just that!
Call her, arrange another one to share a meal together. Get her relaxed and then go for drinks after. Where it's a bit more intimate. Scooch up close to her on a sofa then ask her. What's the worst that can happen - you are friends?
LIFE IS SHORT LIVE IT!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We as men need to be better at reading the signals.
I get that this thread is taking a lighter hearted approach to men’s inadequacies at reading signals, sadly there are just too many cases where a misunderstood signal has led to unsavoury outcomes for the female involved.
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Bottom line is unless you ask you never know where things are going and remember just because the other person hasn't asked they might be shy so be up front it takes away the edge and more time to enjoy each other |
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"If a girl invites you to hers for a drink and a takeaway, is she interested?
Just to clarify I’ve already been, it did have a date feel but I’m unsure as to what it was"
Don't take it as she fancies you. She may just like your company.
And if you've only just met her it's a bit weird to be out with her kids.
I haven't read the whole thing so I might have that bit wrong
Still ......if a bloke I didn't know asked me to go for a walk with his kid i'd run a mile. |
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"We’ve known each other since school so that’s wher the confusion comes in
Tell her you’ll go for a walk but not with her child. Regardless if the fact you’ve known each other for ages. She shouldn’t be introducing people into her child’s life that may not be permanent. It’s a kid for fuck sake not a dog. "
Unless she's not inviting him in as a partner ..... just chillin with an old friend. |
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"Her own place? On your own sounds pretty serious any other signs playing with hair touching sitting very close?"
I touch my hair because I eat it otherwise......
It does NOT mean I fancy anyone. Nor does glasses on glasses off.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve known each other since school so that’s wher the confusion comes in
Tell her you’ll go for a walk but not with her child. Regardless if the fact you’ve known each other for ages. She shouldn’t be introducing people into her child’s life that may not be permanent. It’s a kid for fuck sake not a dog.
Unfortunately I can’t do do that her child’s under 1 and the dads a dead beat"
Ahh under 1 they wouldn’t even remember anyway so that kind of walk is cool. Think a child needs to be 3 to be able to recall any kind of memory clearly. |
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"We as men need to be better at reading the signals.
I get that this thread is taking a lighter hearted approach to men’s inadequacies at reading signals, sadly there are just too many cases where a misunderstood signal has led to unsavoury outcomes for the female involved.
I think women need to start making the first move if you want someone don't leave it up to him to make the first move especially nowadays men are terrified of making a move Incase it's completely unwarranted women need to learn men aren't women you need to tell them what you want
"
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"We’ve known each other since school so that’s wher the confusion comes in
Tell her you’ll go for a walk but not with her child. Regardless if the fact you’ve known each other for ages. She shouldn’t be introducing people into her child’s life that may not be permanent. It’s a kid for fuck sake not a dog.
Unfortunately I can’t do do that her child’s under 1 and the dads a dead beat
Ahh under 1 they wouldn’t even remember anyway so that kind of walk is cool. Think a child needs to be 3 to be able to recall any kind of memory clearly. "
no but it makes it abit more difficult to do an intimate date night |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"Tbh she could be rubbing her breasts in my face with a hand down my pants and I’d just assume she’d slipped and was trying to steady herself.
So, yes, I struggle to read the signs. "
Thank fuck I’m not the only one |
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"We’ve known each other since school so that’s wher the confusion comes in
Tell her you’ll go for a walk but not with her child. Regardless if the fact you’ve known each other for ages. She shouldn’t be introducing people into her child’s life that may not be permanent. It’s a kid for fuck sake not a dog. "
Isn’t it up to her who she chooses to meet when she’s with her (under the age of 1) child? She’s known the OP since childhood. Irrespective of whether it’s a date or not that seems long enough for her to make her own mind up….
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You do need to ask, be direct, tell her your feelings but always give her an out…
‘I really like you and I would love to spend some more time together but I’m not sure where you stand on this? If it isn’t the right time or I’ve misread the situation then just be honest with me and we can just carry on being friends’
Something like that OP
You don’t want to miss out on something just because you didn’t ask
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"Maybe a good idea to send flowers or buy a little gift . As it may help open up the conversation "
Yeaaa when she invited me over I took a bottle of wine,
Tbf we had a walk planned on Tuesday she cancelled because the weather was lousy but then invited me to hers, as she’s a single mum I dunno if it’s just for adult company or not |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
A woman can have men friends the same as a female child can.
Go for the walk and treat her as you would any friend (and their child).
If she asks to keep seeing you, and you want to then she may have a romantic interest in you.
Personally, I wouldn't jump in with the is this going to be a relationship question just yet.
I like to let things develop naturally.
Up to you though, if you need to know what's going through her head. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Update we’ve arranged to go for lunch today "
You could drop into a conversation how much you are enjoying spending time with her.
If her eyes glaze over and she smiles you're probably on a winner. |
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"Update we’ve arranged to go for lunch today "
Hooray! Hope you both have a great time.
For what it's worth I think you're going about things in exactly the right way. So many people are asking at the moment " how can men make women feel safe?" and here you are totally respecting a woman, not pushing her and taking things slowly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve known each other since school so that’s wher the confusion comes in
Tell her you’ll go for a walk but not with her child. Regardless if the fact you’ve known each other for ages. She shouldn’t be introducing people into her child’s life that may not be permanent. It’s a kid for fuck sake not a dog.
Isn’t it up to her who she chooses to meet when she’s with her (under the age of 1) child? She’s known the OP since childhood. Irrespective of whether it’s a date or not that seems long enough for her to make her own mind up….
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It’s just a bug bear of mine. Stupid women who let any new guy they meet have access to their children. When you’ve worked in the prison service and have seen first hand the amount of men in prison for crimes against children and you read how some of the mothers let guys they’ve basically just met bath their children and shit like that it makes you over sensitive to stuff like this. This is nothing to do with the OP either it’s just something that annoys me in general. |
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"We’ve known each other since school so that’s wher the confusion comes in
Tell her you’ll go for a walk but not with her child. Regardless if the fact you’ve known each other for ages. She shouldn’t be introducing people into her child’s life that may not be permanent. It’s a kid for fuck sake not a dog.
Isn’t it up to her who she chooses to meet when she’s with her (under the age of 1) child? She’s known the OP since childhood. Irrespective of whether it’s a date or not that seems long enough for her to make her own mind up….
It’s just a bug bear of mine. Stupid women who let any new guy they meet have access to their children. When you’ve worked in the prison service and have seen first hand the amount of men in prison for crimes against children and you read how some of the mothers let guys they’ve basically just met bath their children and shit like that it makes you over sensitive to stuff like this. This is nothing to do with the OP either it’s just something that annoys me in general. "
I get all of that. But your “advice” was very blunt, very black and white, and directed directly at the OP, who’d already said he’d known her since childhood…
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You both make the terms and qualities of the relationship. If you're resumong it, it's probably better to establish the new terms earlier. Some people prefer certainty but aren't great at expressing their romantic or sexual interests, so they are better matched with someone who can complement their deficits. Actions and words can help to make things easier and clearer. |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"A woman can have men friends the same as a female child can.
Go for the walk and treat her as you would any friend (and their child).
If she asks to keep seeing you, and you want to then she may have a romantic interest in you.
Personally, I wouldn't jump in with the is this going to be a relationship question just yet.
I like to let things develop naturally.
Up to you though, if you need to know what's going through her head."
Yeaaa I’ve decided to just go with the flow |
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